


Forsaken

by ghost_like



Series: VIXX Dragon Age AU [1]
Category: VIXX
Genre: Adventure, Angst, Blood Magic, Dragon Age AU, Dragon Age Lore, Fantasy, M/M, Minor Character Death, Mutual Pining, Romance, Self-Harm, Slow Burn, mentions of blood drinking, mentions of physical abuse, the self-harm is related to the blood magic but i'm tagging just in case, there's a lore guide if you still find it confusing!!, you don't have to know dragon age to understand it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-28
Updated: 2019-03-01
Packaged: 2019-06-17 16:15:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 30
Words: 347,431
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15465258
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ghost_like/pseuds/ghost_like
Summary: To Hakyeon, it was just a performance.To Hongbin, it was just a job.To Sanghyuk and Jaehwan, just another party.To Wonshik, another night of boring work.To Taekwoon, it was duty.It was supposed to be simple enough, but since when do things go as planned?





	1. Something In The Air

**Author's Note:**

> here i am to make my comeback after over a decade not posting my stories anywhere ( •̀ᄇ• ́)ﻭ✧
> 
> before you start:
> 
> a) you don't have to be familiar with dragon age to understand the story; i've written this based on the lore of the franchise, which i believe is criminally unexplored canonically, so. i'm playing with it.  
> b) that said, i will not be using any characters from the franchise in this work, so if you are one of the people who have played the games, read the books/comics or watched the movie/miniseries, you won't be seeing varric or cassandra or alistair walking around. sorry?  
> c) deities are still a thing as they are part of the lore, and so are organizations; the elven words and phrases i'll take from canon vocabulary as well  
> d) haha "d"  
> e) refer to d
> 
> big thanks to my sister who read this over and encouraged me to post it
> 
> enjoy!
> 
> ([Lore Guide](https://ghostlike91.tumblr.com/forsakenguide))

✶

 

The sea breeze would always be the same no matter which port, Hakyeon concluded after some five minutes or so sitting atop a crate at the docks in Cumberland. Granted, for a coastal city, Cumberland was no Llomerryn; Hakyeon would take his birthplace over Cumberland any day. All of Rivain, in fact, was better than Cumberland, and he dearly missed it - but alas, opportunity lay beyond the shores of his homeland. And Cumberland wasn’t bad, it was actually quite lovely.

Watching the ships dock and set sail, disappearing in the horizon, never failed to give Hakyeon the pangs; he missed it. The ocean. The open water. The wind rushing in his ears, the cries of seagulls overhead, the smell of salt and damp wood and sunlight. But he’d left that life behind for a reason, and he did not regret it, in the end.

He was happy. He was doing what he’d always wanted to do, ever since he was very small watching his mother and older sister laugh and dance around the kitchen table in their colorful, flowy skirts.

‘ _To dance, my little sunflower,_ ’ his mother used to say, ‘ _is to follow your heartbeat wherever it takes you.’_

It had taken him to Cumberland. To its beaches of white sand and gray-blue waters, to the pastel-colored streets littered with tiny shells and sea glass, to high buildings of marble and pristine statues of long lost heroes and deities. To its people, not as free-spirited or open-minded as his Rivaini peers, but equally resourceful and resilient. It wasn’t bad. Cumberland wasn’t bad.

But it wasn’t home.

With a sigh trapped in his lungs, Hakyeon looked down at the crumpled piece of parchment in his hands, smoothing it out to reread its contents for the ‘nth’ time.

_‘Meet at Docks. Dusk. HB.'_

How long had it been since he last saw Hongbin? Two, maybe three years? They’d kept in touch during that time, in a way, but never that often and the messages were never so— Cryptic. He was thankful to Hongbin in more ways than one; if not for him, Hakyeon would never have found the courage to pursue his dream of dancing. He would never have been brave enough to travel all over Thedas to learn all the different styles and techniques he now included in his routines. He wouldn’t have gotten good enough at it to be making a bit of a name for himself in the entertainment circles.

He wouldn’t have performed to the Empress of Orlais. Twice.

Still, wherever Hongbin went, trouble was sure to be following right behind - therefore, Hakyeon reserved himself the right to be wary of his old friend’s unexpected visit. Hongbin wasn’t the type to drop by spontaneously just to catch up, not only for his cloak and dagger way of living, but because Hongbin was reserved with his affections, so reserved sometimes Hakyeon wondered if he was scared of feelings beyond his training to learn how to hide his emotions. Hongbin was very good at his job, granted, and most of his aloofness could easily be attributed to his well-honed skills, but it seemed to go deeper than that. An old hurt. Maybe even regret.

Hongbin had still been fresh out of his training when they’d met all those years ago. A young elf, armed with a pair of old daggers and raw anger, all of which were always sharp and ready to be swung. And Hakyeon, young himself, but already the captain of his own ship, a raider in the Felicissima Armada making his fortune out in the ocean. It was in Antiva where they’d met, Hakyeon remembered well - in Rialto. Hongbin had been seeking passage across the sea to Highever in Ferelden. His first job, he’d revealed later as they talked over drinks and a friendly game of Diamond Back in Hakyeon’s quarters. He never explicitly told Hakyeon what that first job entailed, of course, for that would be a breach of Hongbin’s employer’s trust, but Hakyeon could gauge enough to know it involved politics.

People like Hongbin were always involved neck-deep in politics. Hakyeon didn’t care for it.

But he came, however, to care about Hongbin. Guarded, with his sharp edges and poisoned tongue, Hongbin was a good friend underneath all the layers of armor he’d wrapped around his heart. Their friendship came easily, with no real effort on either of their parts; it just happened, the way sometimes flowers bloomed in winter. Unexpected, but nonetheless beautiful in its strangeness.

Perhaps he was being naive, maybe even stupid for trusting Hongbin, but he did. He did trust Hongbin. Despite his line of work, despite his training to hide his real emotions and manipulate others’ feelings, he still trusted Hongbin.

That did not mean he wasn’t concerned with Hongbin’s sudden message. For all that Hongbin was good in his field, the jobs he had the tendency to accept were the ones with the most potential for danger and untimely death - the riskier the better, Hongbin told him. ‘More fun’. While Raider Hakyeon would be inclined to agree, Dancer Hakyeon wasn’t so sure. He had a good thing going. He didn’t want to spoil everything by getting involved in some cross-country political scheme that, at the end of the day, wouldn’t change anything in the long run. It rarely ever did.

People who hired the likes of Hongbin were always the ones not powerful enough to deal with their problems themselves. As such, whatever move in The Game they made, it would usually only make a difference to those directly involved in their circles; world-changing events often required heroes.

Hongbin was no hero.

Just as the thought crossed his mind, he spotted a familiar figure sauntering towards him, the setting sun behind him cloaking his silhouette in shadows. Hakyeon could have rolled his eyes at the dramatics, but he knew it wasn’t intentional - Hongbin hated doing things with too much flare. His methods were more of the straightforward variety.

“I was almost expecting to find you surrounded by a crowd of adoring fans,” Hongbin said in a way of greeting and Hakyeon chuckled, hopping off the crate he’d been sitting on to meet his friend halfway.

“My fame is, unfortunately, restricted to those of higher society who actually have the time and money to spare on entertainment,” Hakyeon replied, knowing that he didn’t need to - Hongbin, more than anyone, knew this. “The common folk cares little about dancing.”

“Their loss,” Hongbin said and shrugged, and, albeit a little stiffly, returned the hug when Hakyeon wrapped his arms around him. “It’s good to see you.”

“You too,” Hakyeon said against Hongbin’s shoulder before stepping back, watching his friend’s face with a soft smile on his lips. He looked older, more mature, but just as handsome as he’d always been - yet another weapon in his vast array of choices. His hair was a little longer than it had been the last time he saw him, falling just over his eyes, curling at the ends in a way that almost made Hongbin look innocent. Another weapon. “But I’m assuming you’re not here just because you’ve missed me.”

The corner of Hongbin’s mouth twitched with amusement. “No, although it is always good to get to see you. We will have time to catch up, however.”

“Oh. Will we?” Hakyeon asked, his smile going from soft to rueful as he watched his friend, head slightly cocked to the side. “Not because you’re not in a hurry. You’re always in a hurry. So the logical conclusion is that you’ll be taking me somewhere?”

Hongbin chuckled. “Relax, Yeonie. I won’t drag you anywhere without your consent.” He paused, sculpted face going serious again. “But yes, I do need your help.”

Hakyeon watched him for a moment longer before sighing, tired. “Binnie… You know I’m not a raider anymore, I have no ship of my own nor do I have a crew. So if what you need from me is—”

“It’s not,” Hongbin interrupted, again sounding mildly amused. “I need you to dance.”

Hakyeon frowned suspiciously. That certainly had not crossed his mind.

“Just to dance?”

“Yes,” Hongbin confirmed easily, easily enough for Hakyeon to know it hadn’t been a lie - but he had been wrong before. “I cannot give you details due to my contract, but I can tell you that what I need from you will only involve a performance.”

Hakyeon’s eyes narrowed, his mind rushing to all possible reasons Hongbin could need to ask him to _dance_ of all things. Hakyeon had been expecting Hongbin to come seeking passage to a distant shore, or even to borrow Hakyeon’s skills in battle - he might prefer not to fight, but he was an accomplished duelist. But dance. _Dance_.

“And you can’t perform yourself? I know you’ve been trained in some schools of dance,” Hakyeon asked, this time with the intention to try and find out more before agreeing. Hongbin could see through him, but honestly, Hakyeon didn’t care - Hongbin was the one here seeking his help, not the other way around.

Hongbin shot him a grin that seemed as sharp as the daggers he carried at his waist. “I can’t perform and do what I have to do at the same time.”

Hakyeon sighed and shook his head. All he needed to know was right there on that sentence. “So I am to be a distraction?”

“If you wish to see it that way, yes,” Hongbin didn’t try to deny it. “But for the amount of gold I’ve been promised, this is important, Yeonie. And I’ll share my gains with you, of course.”

Hakyeon rolled his eyes. “You know I don’t care about the money, Binnie.”

“I’m offering all the incentive I can think of,” Hongbin declared. “It’s an important job, Hakyeon.”

“So I see,” Hakyeon said with a huff, hands dropping to his own hips while he ducked his head in thought. By ‘important’, Hakyeon was already sure that, whatever this job entailed, it would lead Hongbin to trouble. If Hakyeon decided to help, then he would be right next to Hongbin once that trouble decided to arise.

Hakyeon didn’t want trouble— but Cumberland was becoming rather dull. And Hongbin _was_ a dear friend.

He took a long, deep breath and exhaled slowly, taking a second longer to ponder over the subject, before he looked up at Hongbin. “Why me?”

Hongbin opened his mouth and then shut it again, biting his lips and scrunching his face in thought. Hakyeon marveled inwardly at the sight - seeing Hongbin’s diligently crafted mask crack and the real Hongbin peek through was rare, and it never failed to catch Hakyeon off guard.

“Because you are an amazing performer, for one,” Hongbin finally spoke, “and because, in a world where I can’t trust anyone, you’re the closest thing to a friend I’ve had in a long time.”

Hakyeon held Hongbin’s gaze for a second longer before breaking into a wide smile. “So where are we going and who am I performing to?”

“We are going to Nevarra City,” Hongbin replied, his smile a reflection of Hakyeon’s, but more wicked, “and you’ll be performing for the King.”

 

✶✶✶

 

Jaehwan stomped his way up the stairs, his robes dancing wildly around his legs as he moved. He wished he could just sit back and enjoy how vibrant the atmosphere in the castle became when there were festivities being prepared, but no, of course not. He had to babysit the crown prince. When he’d accepted the royal summon to become the Arcane Advisor to the Prince of Nevarra, Jaehwan expected to meet a responsible, level-headed young man who was fit to rule and took that role seriously.

What he found was a selfish little brat who didn’t care about the throne, the country or even waking up on time.

It miffed Jaehwan to the bone to think about it. He had worked hard to get where he was. He had worked for it very,  _very_ hard.

Jaehwan had been born in Ostwick, in the Free Marches, and his magic came to him when he was but 4 years old - too young, people said, to be taken to the Circle - but that didn’t stop them from taking him away anyway, snatched right out of his mother’s arms. He couldn’t remember her face if he tried, but he had long stopped mourning the loss, the separation.

His mother was elven, that he could remember because that was something the First Enchanter would never let him forget. ‘ _You are a bastard, Jaehwan’,_  he’d tell him whenever he messed up his spells, ‘ _you are an illegitimate child of an elven servant and some nobody who got lucky. People will look down on you all your life, because halflings are not meant to have any power. It’s up to you to prove them wrong, so you try that spell again until you can cast it in your sleep, boy.’_

And so Jaehwan did.

He didn’t forget where he came from, didn’t forget who or what he was, but he also did not forget what he could do, that he was powerful.

At 10 years old, Jaehwan was transferred from the Ostwick Circle to Nevarra, to the College of Magi in Cumberland, after a visit from the Grand Enchanter who saw him and noticed his potential. Jaehwan blossomed under the teachings of Nevarran mages, mages who had more freedom to truly tap into their talents and do wonderful things. Jaehwan soon became one of the top pupils at the Cumberland College, working hard to become a powerful sorcerer.

And that is why the King had chosen him, _handpicked_ him, out of every other student at the College, to be groomed as a future Arcane Advisor, the one who would be the one responsible for counseling his son, Sanghyuk, once he took over the throne. It was not common to have an advisor be groomed like this, to grow up alongside his future employer, but the King had a plan: he wanted them to really bond. To be like brothers. He wanted Jaehwan to come to love his son, love him enough to be loyal and truthful, to want to protect him, to have his council be always in Sanghyuk’s best interests.

At the age of 15, Jaehwan had been taken away from the College in Cumberland to live, instead, at Castrum Draconis - residence to the royal family. Sanghyuk was only 12 at the time, and their first meeting was— _Awkward_ , to put it lightly. Jaehwan was trying to force himself to behave according to what was expected of him, to be courteous and polite and only speak when spoken to - that wasn’t who he was.

He was loud and boisterous and ridiculous. He wanted to be himself, act like himself, but he was being watched at all times, by the King and every servant in his employ, being watched for weaknesses or any proof that he wasn’t a good enough choice for his son.

That first day had been hell. Sanghyuk wanted to play with him, drag him outside to run with the dogs in the mud, and Jaehwan wanted to go but was told not to. Sanghyuk had been upset, then, complaining that his father never let him play with anyone. That he wasn’t even allowed to play with the few kids that worked at the estate, the scullions and the servants’ children. Jaehwan had felt terrible - Sanghyuk was a sweet kid, and he could see he was lonely.

Jaehwan was lonely, too.

But being lonely didn’t matter. His feelings didn’t matter. He was there because he was the best - he’d made himself the best. If he wished to continue being the best, he had to keep working for it, to prove to the King he was worth it, that he was knowledgeable and skilled and fit to be his son’s Arcane Advisor.

And, perhaps, that was the mistake, the first rock to fall before a landslide.

Sanghyuk wanted to play. Jaehwan wanted to study. Sanghyuk was young and hot-blooded. Jaehwan was a little older and more responsible. They attended several classes together, lessons in politics, history, etiquette, singing and playing instruments and all other skills valued in court. They didn’t get along poorly, not really - they weren’t  _close_ , but they weren’t strangers either. Sanghyuk, despite his complete disinterest in the crown, was intelligent and shrewd, which paired well with Jaehwan’s own set of skills. They worked well together, made a good team.

The King was pleased with that.

Soon, however, as it was only natural, comparisons started being made between them, and those comparisons often ended with Jaehwan coming out on top. ‘Why can’t Sanghyuk arrive to his lessons on time, like Jaehwan?’, ‘Jaehwan made such a positive impression on the Orlesian diplomats last night, why couldn’t the crown prince do the same?’, ‘Jaehwan dresses better than Sanghyuk!’, ‘Sanghyuk should be more like Jaehwan’.

That endless string of pointless comparisons created a rift between them. A rivalry, of sorts. They were still civil, still worked well together when they had to, for they both knew to put their differences aside in order to accomplish a task, but their relationship now seemed to consist of Sanghyuk coming up with the widest array of means to rile Jaehwan up, and Jaehwan trying to ignore every single one of Sanghyuk’s antics to prove himself the better man.

It was at the same time exhilarating and maddening.

At that moment, more maddening than exhilarating.

Jaehwan reached the top floor of the tower where the crown prince’s quarters were located, trying to tell himself he was huffing and puffing because he was angry, and not for being winded after climbing all those stairs. There was a petite elven servant washing the stone floors, and she scrambled out of the way and bowed her head at the sight of Jaehwan; he would usually stop and greet the servants, for he always made a point of staying in their good graces knowing well that they were the ones who handled the food, so servants scurrying out of his way were not a common sight. Jaehwan figured he was looking more like a storm cloud than he’d first realized.

Upon reaching the tall, wide double doors to the prince’s chambers, at the very end of the hall, Jaehwan stopped and gave himself a few seconds to gather himself. A deep breath, paired with a change in posture and schooling his face into the neutral arrogance often associated to those of high rank was enough, and he rapped his knuckles against the wood a couple of times before pushing the doors open without waiting for permission to enter.

He never waited for Sanghyuk’s permission.

Like usual, his first reaction after entering the room was a tired, exasperated sigh. Sanghyuk was still in bed, blinking blearily at him as if just waking up. On each of Sanghyuk’s arms there was a woman’s head, the ladies curled up against Sanghyuk’s sides like they were very cold and Sanghyuk was their personal furnace. Like the thick blanket that covered their bare bodies wasn’t enough.

Jaehwan just watched and waited until Sanghyuk got his bearings, which didn’t take very long at all. The prince soon broke into a smug grin once his eyes focused on Jaehwan. “Ah, top of the morning to you, Jaehwan. Have you come to fetch me? You shouldn’t have.”

Jaehwan scoffed. “I am your Arcane Advisor, not your caretaker,” he threw back in the most dignified way he could. “I am only here because Her Majesty, your mother, requested.”

One of Sanghyuk’s eyebrows was raised just the slightest. “And what does mother want, pray tell?”

“It is past noon,” Jaehwan informed, and it was with some satisfaction that he saw a flash of surprise and mild horror cross Sanghyuk’s eyes. His mother absolutely hated when Sanghyuk got out of bed late. “She waited for you for lunch, and you did not show up. The queen is very unhappy.”

Sanghyuk sighed, unceremoniously tugging his arms free from under the women’s heads, both waking up with the sudden movement. “Oh, fuck.”

The side of Jaehwan’s mouth quirked up as he watched while Sanghyuk sat up on his bed. He didn’t care if he was being petty, he would take his joys where he could find them. “Her Majesty is now waiting for you for the last fitting of your ceremonial armor for the Autumn Ball.”

Sanghyuk grumbled something under his breath Jaehwan could only assume was a very colorful curse, before barking at the two women, “Out.”

The ladies scurried out of the bed without a squeak, and Jaehwan fought not to flinch upon the sight of their naked bodies - they weren’t  _bad_ , per se, but he had not been expecting to be met with naked women that day. Or ever.

Sanghyuk, still in bed, moved his leg under the covers to kick a large lump of what Jaehwan had at first assumed to be just another blanket that had gotten tangled up. That is, until that lump made an  _oof_ sound when Sanghyuk jabbed a foot into it. “You too, out.”

Jaehwan couldn’t even find it in himself to be shocked when a third person, a male elf, tumbled out of the bed into the ground, also naked as the day he was born. He was handsome, Jaehwan noted - dark hair and deep chestnut colored eyes, large and liquid. He reminded him of someone, but Jaehwan couldn’t quite put his finger on it.

Just like the two women, the male elf scrambled to gather his clothes from the floor and all but fled the room, not bothering closing the door behind himself. Jaehwan sighed and turned again to Sanghyuk, who was now scratching his head like the action would help him wake up properly. “Tsc, is that how you treat your bedfellows? That’s not very nice of you.”

Sanghyuk raised his eyes at Jaehwan and smirked, tossing his blankets aside to reveal that he, too, was wearing absolutely nothing. The effort not to flinch or react in any way was much greater this time - mostly because Sanghyuk was gorgeous and Jaehwan was weak. It wasn’t even only the fact that his body was muscular and firm, his shape a consequence of his training in swordplay.

It was the scales.

He didn’t have them when Jaehwan first met him; twelve-year-old Sanghyuk had a skin pale and unmarred like that of any other child born to wealth. No, the scales came later, once he decided to be like one of the dragon hunters of Nevarran legend and become a Reaver. His parents did not approve, as they often would not - they deemed the school of combat too brutal, too  _savage,_ unbefitting of the future king. Jaehwan agreed with the monarchs, not because they had the final say on Jaehwan’s fate, but because he was genuinely concerned with Sanghyuk’s well being.

Reavers were a feared group of warriors, and Jaehwan understood why all too well - not only were they brutal and savage, like the king and queen said, but the methods to achieve their skills was considered taboo by many, both for the way society perceived it, but also because of the consequences.

Blood magic. Blood magic alone was already frowned upon, illegal most everywhere save Tevinter, but the blood magic used by Reavers was of a different kind, for Reavers were often not mages. They couldn’t tap into the Fade to learn the secrets of that prohibited magic, they couldn’t consort with demons or become vulnerable to possession like mages could; but there was power in blood, ancient and mysterious, and the blood one used to become a Reaver was not human blood.

It was the blood of dragons.

There was a ritual involved, that much Jaehwan knew, although he was never told what that ritual entailed. He never particularly cared to learn. But the basics of it were a simple ‘get dragon blood, put some magical stuff in it, and bottoms up’.

It was a dangerous path to walk. Reavers were powerful, yes, but they were the more powerful through their life force. The closer to death, the stronger the Reaver; many did not survive the training.

Despite the protests, Sanghyuk went on with his plan and began studying the techniques of ancient Reavers, calling in a trainer specialized in Reaving to teach him. Jaehwan, admittedly, hovered a little bit around Sanghyuk when he began training, making sure he wasn’t going to get himself killed.

But Sanghyuk— he was  _good_. A little shit any other time, but a focused pupil when he wanted to be.

Jaehwan almost thought Sanghyuk was trying to become a Reaver out of spite, just to annoy his parents and assert his commitment to his own choices. Jaehwan admired him, in a way, but it worried him nonetheless. Rivals as they might be, Jaehwan  _did_ care for Sanghyuk. He didn’t want to see him hurt or, worse, dead.

In retrospect, maybe Jaehwan should have predicted that only the blood he’d taken during the ritual wouldn’t be enough for Sanghyuk. Jaehwan had only himself to blame for that, for giving Sanghyuk that inferiority complex that caused the young prince to constantly seek to be better, to be stronger, to be  _more_.

Sanghyuk began drinking a raw dose of dragon blood per day. It made Jaehwan uneasy from the get-go, but Sanghyuk’s trainer assured him that it was safe. Not comforting, but if the specialist was saying it was fine, Jaehwan had no choice but to believe him. After a couple of months, the changes began.

Jaehwan just thought Sanghyuk’s skin was peeling, at first. Not something worth any real concern, for it was the height of summer and Sanghyuk did spend a considerable amount of time under the sun. No, it was when those little patches of skin began to harden and darken, becoming smooth like those of a snake, was that Jaehwan made the connection.

Legend stated that Reavers could develop dragon-like characteristics. Scales, sharp teeth, bright colored eyes. Bad temper, rage. People often said it was nonsense, just an exaggeration to impress children, but seeing the scales growing on Sanghyuk’s skin, Jaehwan was sure of the veracity of the tales.

By the time Sanghyuk was finally convinced to stop taking the blood, the scales had spread over a significant amount of his skin.

Now, faced with Sanghyuk in his naked glory, Jaehwan was staring right into that which was his fault - the shiny, dark scales that began on Sanghyuk’s left temple and trailed down the side of his face, the length of his neck. They continued further down, over his shoulder, peppering his arm, the back of his hand. The side of his chest, down to his waist and over his hipbone, traveling further and further down until about halfway through his thigh, where the scales, finally, stopped.

They were beautiful, in a way; dark and shiny, reflecting a different color depending on the angle you looked at them, complimenting the shape of Sanghyuk’s muscles so incredibly well one might think they had been cautiously planned.

Jaehwan’s mouth felt conspicuously dry.

“If you want to know how I treat my ‘bedfellows’, as you put it, I’m afraid you’ll have to become one yourself,” Sanghyuk said as he slid off the bed, the movement fluid and gracious, and sauntered to his drawer to search for something to wear. He paused on his way there, however, close to Jaehwan only so he could purr out, “I promise I’ll be very nice.”

Jaehwan scoffed, rolling his eyes. He didn’t blush, thank the Maker, which definitely made it easier to hide just how tempting that invitation truly was. “In your dreams, Your Highness.”

Sanghyuk chortled, the sound betraying how young he was - only twenty summers old. “Very bold of you to reject the Crown Prince of Nevarra.”

Jaehwan didn’t miss a beat. “Lucky for me, if you wish to punish me for my insolence, your mother would never allow it. She always did like me better.”

Sanghyuk’s eyes narrowed for a second before his expression smoothed out again, and he continued his way to the drawer as if nothing ever happened. “You can go now, Jaehwan. I will be down shortly.”

Jaehwan huffed an amused breath. “You do realize I’m your Arcane Advisor, not your puppy, right?”

“Is that so? The size of the snout makes it hard to tell the difference,” Sanghyuk threw back idly, and Jaehwan took the opportunity to glare daggers at the back of Sanghyuk’s head while he wasn’t looking.

His nose wasn’t _that_ big.

“As much as I would love to stand here and exchange infantile jabs with you, your mother tasked me with bringing you to her,” Jaehwan said, deciding to take the higher road out of spite. “So would you please hurry and get dressed? I don’t believe Her Majesty will approve of her son prowling the halls of Castrum Draconis with his, er— _crown jewels_ on display.”

It was with a sense of victory that Jaehwan heard Sanghyuk laugh at his quip. “Mother certainly would not approve, but she’d be the only one.”

That said, Sanghyuk glanced behind his shoulder straight into Jaehwan’s eyes and smirked - that little shit. The inside of Jaehwan’s mouth might as well be a desert at that point, and truly, bless his robes from preventing how much he  _did_ approve of Sanghyuk’s nakedness from becoming known. It would not do to have his attraction towards the Crown Prince exposed, both because it was embarrassing that he was attracted to someone as insufferable as Sanghyuk and because the King would, very likely, take issue with that and make sure Jaehwan stayed far away from his son.

They could bicker and fight like children, but Jaehwan could not imagine a life away from Sanghyuk. His position as Arcane Advisor was one he would never simply let go of, let escape through his fingers like water, and, beyond that, he would not leave Sanghyuk - not out of love, but out of loyalty. They were practically raised together for almost a decade; he knew Sanghyuk’s every secret, knew him inside and out. Nobody else could do for Sanghyuk what Jaehwan could do, nobody could advise him like he did, nobody would take into consideration Sanghyuk’s principles, his fears, his wishes, not like Jaehwan.

Jaehwan was used to ignore it anyway, that attraction. He never touched Sanghyuk in any way, never got closer to him than what was absolutely necessary and proper, and he never would; Sanghyuk was a tease and he knew it, but Jaehwan was stubborn and spiteful when he wished to be, and he wouldn’t bend and break over carnal desire - something that, Jaehwan always thought, was a useless distraction.

Besides, Sanghyuk would never  _actually_ want to take Jaehwan to bed. He would tease and prod - because he was a little shit and that’s what little shits do - but if Jaehwan ever took him up on it, the prince would backtrack so fast the world would spin the wrong way.

Their friendly rivalry was easier. Familiar. It was best for things to remain as such.

“Just slip on some breeches and tunic, you’re getting clothes fitted, not going on a parade to the masses,” Jaehwan urged in a way to get Sanghyuk dressed quicker, but of course, _of course_ the little shit would do the exact opposite of what Jaehwan was requesting.

Sanghyuk’s reply was an affected sigh, like the weight of an entire planet had been placed upon his shoulders, and in drawn-out motions began sifting through his drawers, taking one item of clothing out at a time and spending several seconds examining the piece. Jaehwan closed his eyes and prayed to the Maker for patience.

That was going to be a very long day.

 

✶✶✶

 

Wonshik raised a hand and placed it over his mouth to hide a yawn, eyes watering with sleep. The day was coming to an end, the orange light of dusk washing over the still busy market square, and Wonshik wanted nothing more than to be done with his shift so he could return to the barracks, stuff his face with smoked trout and roasted potatoes, take a warm bath to soothe his aching muscles, and _sleep_ . Maker, he was exhausted. He was fairly certain that the Captain had something against him, because he’d assigned him  _again_ to patrol the market - the busiest, messiest place to patrol, and with the upcoming Autumn Ball, things had only gotten worse because  _tourists._

When Wonshik saw his name on the roster that morning he knew that, by the end of the day, he would be dead on his feet. It was in days like that he would have to try very hard to remember why he’d chosen to become a guard in the first place - until he walked by the entrance to the Alienage and caught a glimpse of the Vhenadahl and its wide trunk, its long branches now bare with the upcoming winter, the— The lanterns.

The memory would flood his mind then, like a dam breaking in his heart - paper lanterns, hanging above them in the tree branches, the stars twinkling above, the sounds of lutes and laughter; his fingers sticky with candied fruit, the taste of sugar on his tongue. A dimpled smile and pointy ears.

Yes, that was why. That was what he’d wished to protect all those years ago, that was the reason he decided he wanted to be a guardsman - but the reason was gone now, and yet he was still trudging down that same road, stumbling every step of the way, bruised, battered, scraped up and bleeding. For what?

Wonshik was talented - he knew he was talented, not out of a sense of conceit, but because it was the truth. He’d been the best fighter amongst his fellow recruits, oftentimes helping the instructors teach the more advanced techniques to the others. He was well-liked by his peers as well, had cultivated many lasting friendships, and yet… He wasn’t happy. He thought he would be happy if he had the chance to do what he’d set out to do, protect people, but he didn’t feel like he was protecting anyone by walking up and down the streets chasing pickpockets - people he knew were only stealing because they  _needed_ to. Because they could not afford food and clothes, because they needed to feed themselves and their families.

That atop his Captain’s clear distaste towards him had him considering quitting. He wanted to be a knight, a royal knight, part of the King’s guard. He wanted to speak the Captain of the Royal Guard, show him what he could do, ask to be trained to be one of those who could actually make a difference.

He wanted to be someone one could look up to. He wanted to— he wanted to be someone worthy of the dimpled smiles that haunted his memories. He would never see that smile again, he knew, but still, but _still_ —

A familiar figure caught Wonshik’s eye and his mood immediately lifted. He straightened his back from the slouch he’d been in and smiled, willing away the fatigue so he wouldn’t worry his— friend.

“Jimin!” he called, and the elven girl stopped walking and turned to regard him, a smile gracing her pretty face.

“Wonshik, hi!” she greeted, jogging up the little distance towards him. He took note of the straw basket she was carrying, presumably groceries for her employers. “Still on patrol?”

Wonshik nodded, meeting her halfway. “Yeah, I still have about an hour to go before I’m done for the night. Want me to carry that for you?”

“It’s alright, it’s not heavy,” Jimin replied and made a dismissing gesture with her hand, chubby cheeks raised making her eyes turn to crescents. Wonshik ignored how much it reminded him of another set of crescents, another smile.

“I insist,” Wonshik said and bowed just the slightest before relieving Jimin of her burden - it was certainly heavier than she said it would be. “I’ll walk you back.”

“You’re too much. Thank you,” she said, shooting him another smile and, together, they began making their way back to the estate of Jimin’s employers.

A thought occurred to his mind that, perhaps, instead of living for the shadows of his past, Wonshik should turn his focus to his present - to Jimin. Not because she reminded him of another elf, but because he could see himself settling down with her in the future. They got along well enough, and she seemed to like him, so… Why not?

No, it was not because of the color of her hair and the way it curled softly at the tips. It was not the hue of her eyes or the smooth texture of her skin. It was— It was not because she reminded him of—

“Will you attend the Autumn Ball?” Jimin suddenly asked and Wonshik blinked himself out of his musings to give her his undivided attention.

“Yeah, the entire city guard will be on duty. I got assigned to the second floor of the castle - it’s not the Ball but I suppose it’s the closest I’ll ever get,” Wonshik replied and shot her a side smile that was slightly rueful. Jimin clucked her tongue and slapped his arm softly in admonishment.

“Don’t be so negative,” she said. “I guess I’ll see you there, then. Lady Hwang requested me to accompany her as a personal servant.”

Wonshik watched her expression for a couple of heartbeats before commenting casually, “You don’t seem very excited.”

Jimin grimaced and raised her shoulders in a defeated shrug. “It won’t be my first fancy party. It gets old very fast.”

“I can’t say I’ve ever been to one, so I’m not in a place where I can comment on it,” Wonshik admitted, a little embarrassed by his lack of experience. Jimin didn’t seem to mind either way.

“You’re not missing out on anything, trust me,” she said and gave him a look that spoke worlds of distaste. “It’s just a bunch of stuck up humans trying to out stuck up one another. It’s stuffy and pretentious and the music is boring. The food is pretty good, though.”

They left the market at this point and made their way down a side street, mostly empty now, that was a shortcut to the Hwang Estate. It was a safe place, so Wonshik felt no need to keep his guard up, as he had patrolled that area several times before and was familiar with its layout, the few places where people could hide.

“I won’t argue your point,” Wonshik said, laughing. Then, clearing his throat, he continued, “Maybe we can spend some time together then? At the Ball?”

Jimin raised her eyebrows and blinked innocently up at him, innocence soon replaced by mirth. “Oh? Are you asking me out, Guardsman Kim?”

Wonshik felt the heat rising, from the tips of his toes to his last strand of hair. He opened and closed his mouth several times, flustered, resembling a dying fish, and only survived the embarrassment because Jimin broke the moment by giggling and patting him on the shoulder.

“I’m just teasing you,” she said, soothing. Again, she reminded him of someone else, someone who would tease him mercilessly only to apologize sweetly afterward. He pushed the thought away just as fast as it’d arrived. “I would love to.”

Wonshik’s footsteps stuttered at the reply, expression going slack with the surprise of not being rejected. Soon enough a smile was blooming on his face. “R-really? Then— I’ll meet you at the Ball!”

“Can’t wait,” Jimin replied, beaming at him, before stopping in front of the gates of her patrons’ estate. “Well, this is where we part ways,” she joked, reaching out to receive her basket back from Wonshik, who promptly returned it. “You be careful on the rest of your patrol.”

“I always am,” Wonshik said with a smile and bowed to the elven girl, who giggled again at his display of chivalry. “Have a good night, Jimin.”

“You too,” she said back, and, before Wonshik could predict, she stepped forward and, getting on her tippy toes, pressed her lips to his cheek in a noisy kiss before scurrying inside the gates.

Wonshik just stood there, dumbstruck, a stupid expression on his face, fingertips grazing his own cheek lightly as if he couldn’t believe what just happened. Still in a daze, he turned on his heels and began making his way back to the market, looking every bit as much like the village idiot as he felt.

It was already dark, the sunlight now only a stripe of orange on the horizon. The streetlamps, spelled to ignite their blue flames once the sun set, washed the streets with a soft glow that gave the world around him an ethereal quality, otherworldly. That added to Wonshik’s fluttering heart after his moment with Jimin almost made him believe he was dreaming as he walked slowly down the narrow, and now empty, street, the sound of his footsteps falling on the stone the only noises.

Usually, he would be more alert to his surroundings. Usually, he would have noticed he wasn’t alone.

Wonshik heard him before he saw him. Featherlight footsteps.

He sobered up quickly at that, hand flying from his cheek to the hilt of his sword as he turned around to face—

“She was pretty.”

Wonshik froze, frowning, sword raised. Slowly, the elf sauntered into the dim light of the lamps above, a familiar dimpled smile appearing before him like the ghosts of his past had come back to drag him down to the Beyond. Wonshik felt the shock ripple through him like an electric current, his eyes going wide and his fingertips going numb; his mind was immediately flooded with memories of paper lanterns and cool wind, of the smell of wet earth and tangerines, of the feeling of soft lips and a clumsy tongue. He almost dropped his sword.

“Hongbin.”

The name was spoken in a sigh, like saying it any louder would break the illusion and cause the object of his childhood love to disappear like smoke before his eyes.

The elf grinned; too many teeth, too familiar. And those damn dimples. “Ah, so you haven’t forgotten all about little ol’ me.”

Wonshik scoffed, lowering his sword and sliding it back into its sheath. He thought he would be happy to see Hongbin again, elated, but at that moment the only thing he could feel was bitterness. “Like it’s possible for anyone to forget you.”

“I’m flattered,” Hongbin said; his eyes dropped briefly to Wonshik’s sword, his grin almost predatory now. He looked so different. So alien. “Are you sure it’s wise to put away your weapon without knowing if I am friend or foe, guardsman? Such carelessness.”

“Considering the last time I’ve seen you, you were a friend, I don’t see the problem,” Wonshik threw back, although his eyes narrowed suspiciously at the elf. “Have that changed?”

“I wonder,” Hongbin said, taking the last step that ended the distance between them, the toes of their boots almost knocking together. Wonshik tried very hard not to flinch at having Hongbin so close, close enough to see the golden specs on his warm brown eyes and the glint of mischief in them. “You haven’t changed a bit, have you?”

“I can’t say the same about you,” Wonshik replied, and a flash of something passed through Hongbin’s big, lovely eyes. Wonshik wanted to believe it was regret or something akin to it, but the truth would likely leave him disappointed. “Where have you been all these years? You never sent news, you just… You left.”

“I’ve been everywhere,” Hongbin said with a nonchalant shrug. “I traveled all of Thedas. From the Anderfels to Rivain to Ferelden. I’ve seen so many wonders, learned so many new things... And now here I am, back where I started. Ironic, is it not?”

“And why are you back? Certainly not to say hello to an old friend,” Wonshik bit, crossing his arms as he stared at Hongbin, trying to see into his mind. Hongbin chuckled.

“No, indeed. I have some business in the city,” Hongbin answered, simple, that mild smile still on his face. Wonshik hated how he couldn’t read it. How he could never read it. “Seeing you is just a very pleasant bonus.”

“Uh-huh,” Wonshik hummed and squinted at him. Carefully, slowly, he asked, “What do you want, Hongbin?”

“You wound me, Shik,” Hongbin said and pouted, all theatrics. “I thought you’d be happy to see me.”

“You left. You left and said you’d never come back,” Wonshik pointed out harshly, voice more level than his head, than his heart. “I never had any hopes of seeing you again, I forgot all about you.”

Hongbin blinked slowly, cocking his head to the side in a way that made him seem more innocent, more harmless, than he actually was.

“And yet you recognized me the moment you saw me, so one of those statements is a lie. Perhaps even both of them,” Hongbin said, and Wonshik hated how he hit the nail right on the head.

“Why does it matter, in the end? You’ll just leave again,” Wonshik said with a scoff and turned around, set on leaving Hongbin behind, on being the one to walk away for a change, but Hongbin was in front of him before he could go far.

“All the more reason for you to enjoy my presence while you can,” Hongbin offered with a smirk, one hand placed on Wonshik’s upper arm. “Or have your affections towards me changed as well?”

“Everything changed,” Wonshik murmured, making a point of keeping his gaze down, fixed on the pavement. “You can’t expect to come back and find me still waiting for you. I’ve grown up. I’ve moved on.”

“So you have,” Hongbin granted, easy. “So have I. And yet you are the first person I think of visiting upon my arrival in the city. Does that mean nothing to you?”

“What should it mean, Hongbin?” Wonshik asked, tired, finally raising his head to look at the elf in the eye. “Whoever we were, whatever we had, it’s gone. It’s all gone.” He paused to take a deep breath, trying to steady himself. “I’m part of the city guard. You’re a pickpocket, a thief. That’s all we are now.”

“Oh, so I go away for over a decade and you still think I make a living out of petty theft?” Hongbin asked and chuckled, low, and in his baritone, it sounded almost sensual. “But very well, you’ve made your point. I’ll leave you be.”

“Just try not to cause trouble in my city. Our past will not protect you from the law,” Wonshik warned him, beginning to walk away.

Hongbin laughed behind him. “Duly noted.” Wonshik didn’t turn around again. He couldn’t turn around again. “I’ll see you around, _guardsman Kim_.”

Wonshik picked up his pace, not even concerned if it looked like he was running away - he was.

 

✶✶✶

 

Hakyeon watched as Hongbin walked back to the alley where they’d been standing before the elf ran off to chase after his old flame, arms crossed and an unimpressed expression on his face. He didn’t want to be that person who only complained about everything while traveling - he’d met his fair share of those types and they always managed to ruin everyone’s fun - but at that particular moment, he was tired from the journey and jittery over his upcoming performance to the Nevarran royal family.

“Please, tell me we didn’t travel for five days just so you could get laid,” Hakyeon said, flat, when Hongbin got close enough to him. His friend’s expression was stony, difficult to read, but there was obvious pain in his eyes - no matter his extensive training, there were some things Hongbin would never be able to hide.

“No, I—” Hongbin started but clamped his mouth shut and shook his head. “It was nothing. It doesn’t matter.”

Hakyeon stared at the elf’s face for a moment longer before sighing, his annoyance bleeding out of him in an instant and being replaced by sympathy. “Bin…”

“Don’t,” Hongbin snapped, and, after shaking himself, his detached persona was back in place. “I shouldn’t have given in to my feelings. I shouldn’t— I’m alright.”

Hakyeon watched Hongbin for a couple of heartbeats more, only to make sure his friend was truly alright, but nodded once he realized that, even if he wasn’t, Hongbin would never ask or welcome any help. Not regarding whoever that guardsman was. “As you say.” Figuring that the subject was closed and that trying to open it again would likely end with Hakyeon having one or both his eyes gouged out, he decided to turn the conversation to what really mattered.

“Everything ready for tomorrow?”

Hongbin nodded sharply. “Yes. I’ve arranged everything.”

“And I truly only have to dance?” Hakyeon felt the need to confirm, and Hongbin chuckled through his nose in amusement.

“Yes, you only have to dance,” he guaranteed. “If everything goes according to plan, the entire ordeal should take less than twenty minutes.”

“And nobody will get hurt?” Hakyeon asked, eyes narrowed.

Hongbin shrugged. “If nobody stands in my way, no. Nobody will get hurt.”

Hakyeon rolled his eyes but figured that was the best he could expect from Hongbin. Despite the answer, Hakyeon felt uneasy - there was something, something he couldn’t quite put into words, in the air. A tension.

By instinct, Hakyeon whipped his head around, eyes searching the darkness above them until it settled on a small silhouette on a nearby rooftop. Hongbin followed his gaze and scoffed.

“What? It’s just a raven,” he said, patting Hakyeon on the shoulder and stepping around him to return to the hostel where they’d be staying during their time in Nevarra City. “Relax. There is no need to be jumpy, I have everything under control.”

Hakyeon just hummed in acknowledgment, eyes not leaving the raven while Hongbin’s footsteps faded away and disappeared entirely. It didn’t matter what Hongbin said - something was not quite right. And yes, it was just a raven, but even that seemed somehow ominous. That raven— Its eyes seemed too keen. Too intelligent. Like it knew things Hakyeon did not, and it unsettled him like nothing had in a long time.

Shuddering with that wave of sudden dread, Hakyeon quickly turned and skittered after Hongbin, feeling the raven’s eyes on the back of his neck all the way there until the establishment’s door had been slammed shut behind him.

 

✶

**Notes for the Chapter:**

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	2. Dark Blue Water

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Enter Taekwoon, stage lef— wait, why are you on the roof, get down from there

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> before anything else, thank you so so so much to everyone who sent me messages about this fic, i wasn't expecting it to be so well received >///< thank you to everyone who left kudos as well, it means so much to me
> 
> i'm not entirely happy with this chapter, probably because it was getting too long and i had to cut stuff and split it in half (and yet it still ended up being 12k words long...), but i hope you still find it enjoyable!

✶

 

Sanghyuk stared at his reflection in the full body mirror and fought not to grimace. He didn’t look— _Bad_. He looked every bit as much like the crown prince he was, and, maybe, that was the whole problem.

When he looked at himself, he saw— He didn’t know what he saw, but whatever it was,  _whoever_ it was, it wasn’t him. It was a projection of what other people wanted him to be. Expected him to be. What he saw was the constant effort of meeting their expectations, the struggle that it was to prove himself worthy in the eyes of his parents, of the court, of the Nevarran people, of— of Jaehwan.

He raised his eyes from his own reflection to the image of Jaehwan in the mirror, puttering about behind him, on the other side of the room, in a fussy attempt of getting his rebellious hair strands to behave. Sanghyuk’s lips quirked up on their own into a fond, secret smile, one that would likely confuse Jaehwan if he caught sight of it.

Jaehwan looked lovely in his dark red robes, the color stark against his pale skin and wild dark hair; it was a good match with the hue of his eyes - blue-gray, like the sky just after it rains or lazy mornings at the height of winter. It made his plump lips look even more pink and inviting, which was already a danger in itself on a regular day. Sanghyuk wondered if Jaehwan had any idea how tempting he was - if Jaehwan knew how Sanghyuk was tempted.

Sanghyuk forced himself to move his eyes away from Jaehwan and back to himself, the smile disappearing from his features as if it never have been there at all. He looked at himself from head to toes, taking in the sight of his ceremonial armor, made of polished dragon bone and fine silks, of his hair combed back, away from his face, and held in place by that scented wax he hated. He looked at the scales on the side of his face, and, something which would sound odd to anyone if he ever said it out loud, that was the only part in that entire image where Sanghyuk could recognize himself.

He raised a hand to his face, fingertips grazing over the rough surface, and tapped a nail over one scale. Sanghyuk smiled at the little noise it made, how solid it felt.

The sound caught Jaehwan’s attention, and Sanghyuk saw the mage raise his head and turn towards him in the mirror reflection. Jaehwan took notice of what had caused the noise and scoffed.

“I’m afraid your scales clash with everything, Your Highness, there is no material in Thedas that can make it look good.”

And there went his smile, right out the window. “That’s a matter of taste, which you would know if you had any.”

“If you find lizards attractive, by all means,” Jaehwan said and shrugged at him, a mocking expression on his face.

Sanghyuk didn’t grace his advisor with a response, instead turning his attention back to his reflection to give himself one last once over. He didn’t need to be reminded how unattracted to him Jaehwan was, not that night, not any night - but particularly not that night, when he would have to make a public appearance and be social. He had to keep his head clear to be able to do that and not throttle someone, what with his dragony temper.

“Tsc, Andraste have mercy, put on your gauntlets, you absolute child,” Jaehwan tutted and grumbled like an old lady and marched over to Sanghyuk, taking it upon himself to put said gauntlets brusquely on the prince’s hands.

Sanghyuk just let him, enjoying that chance of proximity even if Jaehwan was always so careful not to touch him - in no moment did their skins brush one another while Jaehwan made sure Sanghyuk’s gauntlets were in place and strapped properly. It didn’t matter. Sanghyuk was happy to just watch the way Jaehwan’s hair fell over his forehead, how his eyes were squinted in concentration, lower lip caught between his teeth. The tips of his ears, just the slightest bit pointier than those of a normal human, courtesy of the elven blood in his veins. And his nose. Sanghyuk constantly made fun of it, but it was one of his favorite things about Jaehwan’s face - perhaps even the very reason Sanghyuk liked to tease Jaehwan about his nose so much. To cover up how he truly appreciated it.

How he appreciated Jaehwan in general, to be more precise.

The sentiment was one-sided, he sadly knew; he wasn’t enough. No matter how much he tried, he was never - would never - be enough for Jaehwan. Jaehwan, who was intelligent and hard-working and ambitious and brave. Jaehwan, who was adorable and kind and had the most beautiful smile, the loveliest laugh.

No matter how hard he tried, Sanghyuk could never win over Jaehwan affections. He remembered the day Jaehwan first arrived at Castrum Draconis, the lanky teenager in robes far too big for his frame but that held himself with such grace, such confidence, he may as well have been dressed in pure gold. _‘This will be your Arcane Advisor’,_  his father said to him, ‘and _he will be your Arcane Advisor because he is the best.’_

The best. Jaehwan truly was the best, at everything, at anything. Sanghyuk could never measure up, not close enough to even meet him halfway. Jaehwan was— It was like Jaehwan was so many levels above him, Sanghyuk would never be able to reach him. Like a child stretching his tiny little arms towards the stars.

Sanghyuk tried to become smarter, to excel in all his lessons, learn everything there was to be learned about history and politics. Jaehwan was not impressed.

Sanghyuk practiced the lute and the harpsichord, learned to sing and dance with grace. Jaehwan was still not impressed.

Sanghyuk trained his swordplay every day, to the point of not being able to lift his arms by nightfall, to become a skilled fighter. Jaehwan didn’t care.

Sanghyuk wanted to prove himself strong, so he became a Reaver. Jaehwan reacted by treating him as a child and hovering around him like Sanghyuk was about to get himself killed. When he didn’t, Jaehwan never praised him for his achievements.

He even tried to make him jealous, starting a string of sexual conquests that he would make sure to rub in Jaehwan’s face. Still Jaehwan was not moved, barely ever reacting upon encountering a new stranger in Sanghyuk’s bed.

Not even his scales, which Sanghyuk thought to be attractive in an unusual, dangerous way, seemed to be enough for Jaehwan. Nothing was enough for Jaehwan.

Sanghyuk was not enough for Jaehwan.

Maybe Sanghyuk himself was to blame for this - he was not being clear enough. Jaehwan seemed to be under the impression it was a competition. It wasn’t. Or— Well, it  _was_ , but not in the way the mage thought it was, because the only thing Sanghyuk was truly envious of, was of how his parents held Jaehwan in high regards. Higher than they held him, their own son. Praises, compliments, encouragement, Jaehwan got it all. All Sanghyuk ever got was scolded.

 _That_ — that was the only real competition there was between them. The rest… He didn’t know what they were doing. Why they did the things they did, fought the way they did. They were both proud and stubborn, alike in so many ways, and yet there was a rift between them Sanghyuk wasn’t sure how to close; if there was even a way to accomplish such a task.

Sanghyuk watched for a moment longer as Jaehwan struggled with the last latch of his left gauntlet, and he decided he wanted to see Jaehwan blush. Maybe he could get his cheeks to match his robes?

Unlikely.

He still wanted to give it a shot, though.

“You know,” Sanghyuk began, bland, nonchalant, “there’s another part of my armor I was not quite able to put on myself, if you wish to fix it for me.”

Jaehwan stopped what he was doing and looked up at him, the expression on his face thoroughly unamused. “Don’t tell me. Is it your underwear?”

Sanghyuk grinned, and in a rapid, sudden movement, turned his hand around to grab Jaehwan’s. “How could it be when I’m not wearing any?”

Jaehwan seemed to freeze for a moment, and Sanghyuk wanted to believe it was over their proximity, the implications of his latest words, that maybe he’d manage to fluster his slippery advisor. Too soon, however, Jaehwan was already pulling his hand away and stepping back, putting some distance between himself and Sanghyuk.

“That sounds both uncomfortable and unhygienic. Stop being a brat and put on your damn smallclothes for once, will you?”

Sanghyuk sighed, exaggerating it to make it sound like he wasn’t actually frustrated. “One day, Jaehwanie, one day you will not be able to resist my charms.”

Jaehwan snorted, walking over to the other side of the room where another full body length mirror stood to fix his robes one more time. “Implying you have those?”

Sanghyuk closed his eyes for a moment, inhaling long and deeply. Once he reopened his eyes, his reflection was yet again staring at him without Jaehwan there to block his view of the mirror. He was so tired. Tired of trying so hard to be met with rejection time and time again, tired of never being enough no matter how much he struggled.

“Jaehwan?” Sanghyuk called, voice soft, soft enough for Jaehwan to have a confused frown on his face when he turned to regard him. Looking at the mage through the mirror, Sanghyuk asked still in that same small voice, “Do you care about me at all?”

Jaehwan’s expression went slack, clearly out of the surprise that question caused him. Sanghyuk almost wanted to backpedal and salvage the moment, but he pushed the urge aside; he would not turn back on that. It was one of those questions he just  _had_ to find out the answer for, otherwise he would never be able to move on from it. From Jaehwan.

Jaehwan licked his lips, a new hitch forming between his brows, blue-gray eyes narrowed with concern. “Sanghyuk, what—?”

Whatever Jaehwan was about to say was interrupted when the door opened and Sanghyuk’s mother marched in, looking dazzling in her own ceremonial finery and every bit as frustrated as Sanghyuk was - although, he figured, for very different reasons.

“Ah, there you two are, please tell me you are not still in the midst of getting ready!” the queen exclaimed, moving to Jaehwan first since he was the one closer to the door. “Here, let me see.”

Jaehwan quickly moved to be inspected by the queen, who looked at him up and down, and, after fixing the collar of his robes and the golden chains that adorned it, smiled and nodded, satisfied. “Very good, Jaehwan, my dear. You seem ready to go, the king is becoming restless with the delay.”

“I apologize, Your Majesty,” Jaehwan said and bowed his head briefly, tossing a side glance towards Sanghyuk. Sanghyuk stiffened where he stood; this is where Jaehwan would tattletale on him about how he took too long to get dressed, and his mother would give him yet another earful. “I— It’s my fault. I had an issue with my outfit. Sanghyuk was just done helping me with it, we were about to head downstairs.”

Sanghyuk only didn’t gape at Jaehwan because his mother would be able to smell the load of nug shit that had just come out of the mage’s mouth. All Sanghyuk did was duck his head and school his face into the mild disinterest that had become his default expression when dealing with anyone, moving naturally to retrieve his greatsword and sheath it at his back. The queen caught sight of it and immediately clucked her tongue.

“Maker’s mercy, Sanghyuk, must you bring that gigantic piece of metal with you tonight? It’s a ball, not a war.”

“Aren’t those the same thing, mother?” Sanghyuk quipped, which earned him a tired huff from the queen.

“Do as you like, I will not waste my breath with you anymore,” she said, moving towards her son and grabbing him by the shoulders. “Posture, Sanghyuk. Princes don’t slouch.”

“I apologize, I must have been overcome by the weight of your greatness.”

“Don’t sass me, young man,” she warned, and Sanghyuk decided not to push her buttons when she was so on edge. “Here, the tailor sent a courier just now. He forgot the last piece of your armor.”

Sanghyuk watched curiously as his mother produced a little pouch that had been secured at her waist, opening it unceremoniously and spilling its content on her waiting palm. It was a brooch - a gemstone that gave the impression of being filled with dark blue water, framed by a silver dragon with its mouth open in a silent roar and wings spread, the tail swirling down underneath the jewel.

Without any flourish, the queen tossed the empty pouch aside and pinned the jewel to the midnight blue satin sash that crossed Sanghyuk’s chest, right over his heart. His mother took a step back, eyeing Sanghyuk from head to toes, before nodding to herself in approval.

“This will do. Now come, your father awaits.”

Quietly, Sanghyuk followed his mother out of the room and through the long corridor towards the stairs, Jaehwan dutifully matching his pace to walk next to him. Sanghyuk tried catching his eye, but Jaehwan seemed intent on keeping his sights ahead.

“Remember to smile,” the queen advised as they walked, “and to use your manners, doing it once in a full moon won’t kill you.”

“Yes, mother,” Sanghyuk replied, automatic and without any inflection. It was just what he was supposed to say.

“Try not to drink yourself into a stupor this time,” she continued, looking over her shoulder and sighing her disapproval. “You should start growing out your hair, to at least cover up that ugly thing on your face.”

Sanghyuk had to bite his tongue not to answer the way he wanted to. “Yes, mother.”

“Let’s hope someone finds that endearing, you are much overdue to find a suitable bride.”

Just the thought of it made the blood in Sanghyuk’s veins feel like they’d been replaced by icy water. “Mother—”

“Don’t you ‘mother’ me. You know your duty. The sooner you marry, the sooner you can start focusing on the matter of producing an heir instead of fooling about with the servants.”

Sanghyuk could taste bile at the back of his throat, the urge to vomit so strong it was a wonder he managed to keep it down - an unfortunate consequence of swallowing his anger all the time was that, sometimes, it manifested itself in more physical ways. He was about to answer with his usual reply, when Jaehwan finally spoke after being quiet since his cover-up act.

“Your Majesty, Sanghyuk is still very young,” he said, and Sanghyuk couldn’t keep the surprise out of his face this time. “I understand it is not my place to speak on such matters, but I believe this is a subject ill-suited for a night of festivities. Certainly you do not wish to sour your good mood by concerning yourself with something that can, ultimately, wait one night longer.”

Sanghyuk wasn’t sure if he should feel grateful or shocked for the way Jaehwan had swooped in on his behalf, so he settled to stare straight ahead, keeping his face as neutral as possible. He would react to it once they were alone and Sanghyuk could thank Jaehwan properly for that act of kindness.

“I’m afraid you are correct on that, dear,” the queen decided, and Sanghyuk struggled not to show his relief outwardly. “I trust you to keep Sanghyuk in line tonight. There is already talk regarding him being poorly suited for the throne. Tonight, I am hoping to prove them otherwise.”

“I shall do my utmost best, Your Majesty.”

Sanghyuk was trembling by then, a myriad of conflicting emotions clashing inside him, and he began to worry that his armor would begin to clatter. He was lucky this time, not because Jaehwan found a way to stop his shaking, but because they had reached the antechamber that led to the ballroom and stopped walking.

“I will have the announcements be made. Don’t lose your cue,” the queen said, barely turning around to face him, before she moved forward to accomplish the task she’d just mentioned.

The moment she left him alone with Jaehwan, Sanghyuk couldn’t hold out any longer and breathed out shakily, shoulders slumping and head falling forward. Jaehwan was at his side in a heartbeat, hand hovering over his forearm.

“Sanghyuk?” he called in a whisper, present enough to be aware that they were not exactly alone and the walls had ears. “Sanghyuk, look at me.” With some hesitation, he slowly lifted his head to face Jaehwan. He examined his expression for a moment longer, searching for something Sanghyuk could not fathom. “Are you alright? You’re very pale.”

“I’m— I’m fine,” Sanghyuk said, taking a deep breath. He wasn’t going to make a scene just because mommy was mean to him. He wasn’t a toddler. “This armor is just very heavy.”

Jaehwan narrowed his eyes at him. “Right.” Then, moving back a little from where he’d been leaning forward to examine Sanghyuk, Jaehwan began patting his robes in search of— something.

That something turned out to be a small vial filled with a clear green liquid that Jaehwan fished out from a discreet little pouch tied to the waist of his robes.

“Here, take a sip of this,” Jaehwan said and handed the vial to Sanghyuk, who accepted it despite the suspicion. Noticing it, Jaehwan rolled his eyes. “It’s just a tonic. I decided to bring precautions this time, in case you ate your weight in rum cakes again.”

“Oh. Thanks,” Sanghyuk mumbled and finally did as he was told, taking a small sip of whatever concoction Jaehwan had given him. He grimaced at the bitter taste of it. “Augh, Andraste’s scorched titties, what _is_ this?”

“It’s good for you.”

“That doesn’t answer the question.”

“I know,” Jaehwan replied, smiling serenely, and took the vial back, replacing the cork that kept it closed and sliding it back into the pouch. “Now breathe.”

Sanghyuk didn’t argue this time and, closing his eyes, began to inhale slowly and exhale, once, then twice, and by the third time, he could feel his stomach and his nerves settling. Sanghyuk was already aware that Jaehwan was an extremely talented mage, but it was in times like that he felt grateful for it.

“Better?” Jaehwan asked, causing Sanghyuk to open his eyes again to regard him.

“Yeah,” he nodded, licking his dry lips. He could hear the announcements beginning outside, and he moved with Jaehwan closer to the door so he wouldn’t miss his cue. While they waited for their turn to enter the ballroom, Sanghyuk decided to take the plunge and ask the question that had been swirling in his mind. “Why did you do it?”

“Hm?” Jaehwan hummed and looked up at him quizzically. The motion reminded Sanghyuk of that of a curious puppy.

“Why did you help me? Lying to mother, speaking on my behalf, giving me tonics. Why?”

Jaehwan stared at him for a long moment, rain-colored eyes gleaming. “You asked me if I care about you. This is your answer.”

Sanghyuk felt like he’d been struck by lightning, but had no time to properly react to it for his name was being called in the ballroom. Sanghyuk had no choice but to fix his posture and make his entrance.

 

✶✶✶

 

Wonshik absolutely hated wearing new armor. It was uncomfortable and clanky and he wasn’t used to all its singularities - he didn’t have the time to really break it in yet, have it adjust more comfortably to his body.

At least he looked good, which, he figured, was the only thing that mattered.

His new armor was made of silverite, smooth and shiny, with even a golden-yellow cloak sporting the dark Nevarran skull and star. His sword was also new, polished to the point of working as a mirror if he found the need for one. His hair had been combed - a day full of surprises, indeed - and he carried his helm around under his arm, leisurely patrolling the perimeter of the royal palace according to his orders. Part of him wanted to sneak into the ballroom and snatch a few canapes, but he had to do his duty no matter how inviting the petit-fours looked.

It boggled his mind how that night seemed to be both boring and exciting - boring because nothing interesting was happening, exciting because  _so much_ was happening.

Wonshik had never seen so many noblemen in one place at once. It was an endless parade of colors and fancy finery, glittering jewels and outrageous hairdos. It was entertaining in the same way watching exotic fish swim around in a pond was - the sight was pretty, but, ultimately, nothing much actually happened.

As such, in the dull affair that was patrolling the outskirts of the Autumn Ball, Wonshik was left to ruminate over his run-in with Hongbin the evening before.

Hongbin. He’d thought so much about him over the years, missed him, longed for him, and not once did he come out of the shadows to soothe the pain in his heart. It seemed far too ironic that now, the very day Wonshik had finally decided to let go and move forward, to forget Hongbin and settle down with someone Wonshik _knew_ would not leave like Hongbin had, the elf decided to magically appear before him again, looking stunning and deadly and every bit as enchanting as he had the last time he’d seen him.

Back when they were still children, he hadn’t resented Hongbin for choosing to leave. He remembered that day clearly, remembered the trails of tears on Hongbin’s face, the bruises on his chubby arms and legs. He remembered his words, he remembered him saying he didn’t want to live like that anymore, didn’t want to spend the rest of his life in the Alienage being stepped on by humans - humans like Wonshik, but unlike him as well. Wonshik understood; he saw the struggle it was for Hongbin to survive, how he had to lurk around the market to steal food and coin only so he wouldn’t starve, he saw Hongbin, only a child then, be pushed and shoved and beaten by fully grown humans, and only because Hongbin was an elf and they felt entitled to abuse him.

Wonshik could never fault Hongbin for wishing for a better life. He had been too small to make a difference, to protect Hongbin the way he wished he could protect him, and he had no choice but to let his first love go - even after Hongbin stated he would never come back.

If Hongbin had a chance at happiness, Wonshik wanted him to take it. Even if that happiness was not by his side.

As time passed, however, that selflessness slowly turned to bitterness. Years came and went, and Wonshik waited to hear from Hongbin, to receive a letter, a message, anything, to let him know his beloved was alright and safe. No word came. Still, Wonshik waited. He let opportunities pass him by because what if Hongbin returned to Nevarra City and Wonshik wasn’t there? He turned down suitors, as his heart was fully occupied by his dimpled elf, and his choices were always made by considering Hongbin, what he would think, what he would do. Even his choice in career was, in no small amount, due to his concern towards Hongbin and his desire to not let what happened to him happen to other young elves.

Wonshik hated himself for it, for having allowed his life to orbit around Hongbin’s existence, even during those silent years. He hated himself, not only because he  _still_ let Hongbin affect him to such extents, but because he couldn’t hate Hongbin. Because he still loved him, and, despite all that resentment, all that pain, he always would love him.

Had he tossed his heart into the fire, the damage would still be less severe than what Hongbin had put him through.

Wonshik had Jimin now, though. He had Jimin, who was sweet and caring; Jimin, who would not do as Hongbin did and abandon him. Jimin, who was worthy of his affections.

He wished he could love her. Love her the way he loved Hongbin.

It didn’t matter. He wouldn’t let it matter, not anymore. He was tired of being wrapped around Hongbin’s fingers like a marionette, tired of waiting for him like a dutiful puppy dog. He’d decided to move on, and he would stick to that decision, no matter if Hongbin was back or not, if he still loved him the same way Wonshik loved him. It was far too painful to consider giving his heart to Hongbin again only to have him toss it aside as he did before - he would rather give it to Jimin. He would rather continue ahead with his plan of courting her and, perhaps, marrying her in the future, starting a life with her.

He was certain that he would never be able to love her the way he loved Hongbin - no, Hongbin was his first love, and Wonshik was certain he would also be his last. But there were so many different kinds of love, and Wonshik could see himself loving Jimin, not with the raging wildfire with which he loved Hongbin, but with gentle embers, the love reserved for dear friends. It would be enough.

And, not only was Wonshik obsessing over his complicated feelings towards Hongbin, he was also racking his brain trying to figure out what ‘business’ had brought him back to Nevarra City. Whatever it was, it couldn’t be good - if Hongbin’s new demeanor was of any indication, his return could only mean trouble. Putting two and two together was not hard; that Hongbin had returned at the eve of the Autumn Ball was a clue in itself, which led Wonshik to deduce that his business, whatever it was, would take place during the festivities. For all he knew, Hongbin might be skulking around some dark corner of Castrum Draconis at that very moment.

The thought made Wonshik stop on his tracks and take stock of his surroundings. He was hardly alone and it was not dark where he stood, the late autumn wind chilly against his face; there were other guards patrolling the grounds, besides the occasional servant rushing to and fro, and all the lamps were lit leaving very few places to hide - none, pretty much.

Still, Wonshik swiveled around slowly, watching every corner, every shadow, with his full focus. A few of his colleagues gave him concerned, some mocking, glances, but Wonshik was on edge now. He didn’t know Hongbin anymore, didn’t know what he’d become, but danger seemed to ooze from his every pore, from the way he spoke to the way he carried himself. Whatever Hongbin learned during his years away, it could not be anything good. And he was there, Wonshik just knew, it was fact.

Hongbin was there. Hongbin was there, and he was up to no good. He could feel it in his gut.

He heard a rustle behind him, the noise coming from the tall hedge fence that surrounded the royal gardens. Wonshik swallowed as he turned around, already bracing himself to face Hongbin again - just seeing him felt like a battle, something he needed to be wearing his full armor and shield to survive. That he’d survived him the night before was a miracle in itself.

He could not see anything at first, but the sound had been too clear for it to have been his imagination; there was someone hiding somewhere in that hedge. He hoped it wasn’t Hongbin.

He hoped it was Hongbin.

Step by careful step, Wonshik approached the hedge, one hand resting on the hilt of his sword in a way that would seem casual to the onlooker, the other hand outstretched, reaching for the shrubs before him with the intention of pulling aside the leaves to get a closer look.

The moment he touched it, there was another rustle and a dark mass flew out of it directly at his face, causing Wonshik to squawk and jump back with fright as the raven that had been lurking in the hedge flapped its wings to escape Wonshik’s prodding. Wonshik glared at the bird, who had moved from the living fence to perch atop one of the gargoyles that decorated the castle like it owned the place.

“Stupid bird,” Wonshik grumbled under his breath as he got his bearings, pointedly ignoring how those who had witnessed the scene were laughing at his expense.

It was Hongbin’s fault. It was all Hongbin’s fault.

 

✶✶✶

 

The festivities had barely started and Sanghyuk was already bored out of his wits. The annual Autumn Ball was nothing but pomp and ceremony, an old tradition to open the week where the ancestral pageants would take place, customarily, the last week of fall - the streets would be swarmed by actors and other performers who would act out the great deeds of heroes and rulers long gone before their statues, the ones who sided most of the expanse of the boulevard to the palace. Sanghyuk found those rites  _noisy_  at best, but he couldn’t deny that the colors and music that filled the city during that week were entrancing, mesmerizing. It was, at any rate, much better than to sit there and watch everyone else have fun while he had to - _ugh_ \- behave.

The food was delicious, but he couldn’t eat too much for it was considered impolite. The cakes and pastries were colorful and inviting, but his mother had forbidden him of having any before the king, his father, decided to have some for himself - which would likely not happen, because his father hated sweets. The wine was rich and fragrant, but he couldn’t drink himself under the table to create the illusion that party was anything but a complete bore. He couldn’t even join the rest of the court in the ballroom proper to at least dance a little, for there was a structure to that event and he had to remain in his seat until all the formalities were over and done with.

All he could do was poke at the half-eaten stuffed quail in front of him with his fork, his focus and effort concentrated on not slouching lest his mother took notice of his posture.

“Is the food not to your liking?”

Jaehwan asked and Sanghyuk turned to face him, the mage sitting primly at his side regarding him with mild curiosity. Sanghyuk shrugged. At least with Jaehwan, he didn’t have to pretend to be having fun - Jaehwan knew him enough to be able to tell either way.

“Not hungry,” Sanghyuk replied, dismissive. He wasn’t in the mood for trading jabs with Jaehwan.

Jaehwan blinked slowly at him, his large eyes searching for something in Sanghyuk’s own. Sanghyuk thought he deserved at least a pat on the back for not squirming.

He expected Jaehwan to make fun of him and tease him for acting like a brat, which was how things usually were between them. It seemed that the stars were aligned erratically that day, however, for Jaehwan’s expression softened and, in a secretive whisper, he asked, “Are you still feeling queasy?”

Sanghyuk frowned, both confused and surprised by the question. He shook his head minutely in response, “No. Just bored.”

Jaehwan hummed, the corners of his lips twitching as if he wanted to smile. Sanghyuk braced himself; certainly, that was the build-up towards a teasing remark.

“It’s only a couple of hours more. This will be over soon.”

Sanghyuk stared blankly at Jaehwan for a moment. “What?”

Jaehwan tilted his head to the side. “What what?” Jaehwan batted his eyelashes innocently. “I’m your advisor. I’m advising you to be patient.”

Sanghyuk huffed a small puff of laughter at that. “Now that’s new.”

Jaehwan glared at him and  _that_ — That was far more familiar than Jaehwan’s quiet concern. “Only because you never pay attention when I share my wisdom with you.”

“If you want to call it ‘wisdom’, sure, whatever makes you feel better.”

Jaehwan huffed and turned around again to face ahead. “Nevermind, forget I said anything.”

Sanghyuk smiled to himself, something that likely seemed to Jaehwan like a mocking action, but that, in fact, was brought on by how adorable he thought Jaehwan looked when he got hissy. Sanghyuk sort of wanted to poke his little pout, but he figured Jaehwan would likely bite his finger off if he tried, it being protected by his dragon bone gauntlet or not.

“No need to get your knickers in a twist, it was a joke,” Sanghyuk said, to which Jaehwan gave him an unconvinced look as a reply. Deciding not to push him too much, as he was still absolutely not in the mood to argue, Sanghyuk dropped the teasing tone. “On second thought,” the prince began, and Jaehwan glanced at him suspiciously, “maybe I still am feeling a little sick.”

“Hm,” Jaehwan hummed, obviously not believing him but also not trying to fight him on that affirmation. Looking around, seemingly trying to gauge the mood levels of the other occupants of the table, including the king and queen and the highest ranked noblemen in attendance, Jaehwan straightened his back and leaned a little against Sanghyuk so he could address the queen, sitting next to the prince. “Your Majesty?”

The queen, midway through bringing a small cut of meat to her mouth, stopped the motion and turned to give Jaehwan her attention. “Yes, Jaehwan?”

“I’m afraid the food did not sit well with me. Would it be alright if I excused myself for a moment, to get some air?”

“Of course, dear,” she promptly answered. “Don’t go far, the night’s last performance should begin shortly and, after that, the king will make a speech.”

“I won’t be long, a few minutes at best,” Jaehwan said, pushing his chair back and getting up. Sanghyuk felt a little wave of panic, for a moment believing Jaehwan was really about to leave him there to deal with his parents by himself, but Jaehwan was speaking again before that panic could fully set in. “May I take Sanghyuk with me? Mingling with the ladies of the court to start choosing an acceptable bride seems to me a more productive endeavor than playing with his food.”

Sanghyuk wanted to protest - or maybe punch Jaehwan in the face - but he knew the mage was saying what his mother needed to hear to give them permission to leave the table. As such, the queen huffed a little laughter through her nose.

“You are correct as always, Jaehwan. Yes, take my son with you, and do try to bring attention to his better qualities instead of his appearance. We don’t want his prospects to run away screaming.”

Sanghyuk bit his tongue and quietly got up from his chair, not even excusing himself before he stalked away after Jaehwan, following him around the perimeter of the room, keeping close to the walls to garner less attention. His advisor was silent despite glancing repeatedly towards him, but Sanghyuk didn’t meet his gaze, keeping his eyes ahead as they walked away. Only when they were almost reaching the other side of the ballroom, was that Jaehwan spoke.

“Sanghyuk, breathe. Your eyes are changing,” Jaehwan warned under his breath, and Sanghyuk stopped walking near a narrow floor to ceiling window, inhaling the fresh air that entered through the small crack on the pane. He closed his eyes for good measure, in case someone caught sight of them.

It was yet another of the collateral effects of his Reaving, his consumption of dragon blood; sometimes - not always, thank the Maker - his eyes would betray his anger by turning from their usual brown to a bright yellow, his round pupils shifting until they were vertical, exactly like those of a dragon. Like his scales, Sanghyuk liked the change that occurred in his eyes; he understood how they might be unsettling, of course, how frightening it must be to those not used to seeing the shift, but at times Sanghyuk almost wanted to walk around with bright yellow eyes and sharp teeth and his scales fully on display just to make a point.

The point being that he didn’t give a brown nug’s ass what they thought.

That was who he was, the changes in his body were not reversible, and he looked badass. The rest of the world could suck it for all he cared.

But he had to care. So, pushing down the rebellion in him, he continued to take deep lungfuls of air until he felt his nerves settling.

Jaehwan was patiently waiting at his side, looking around the room with a mild disinterest that Sanghyuk didn’t think was fake. Noticing that Sanghyuk had reopened his eyes, Jaehwan turned to him. “Do you want some more of the tonic?”

Sanghyuk shook his head briefly. “No. Are my eyes back to normal?”

“Let me see,” Jaehwan turned to him fully and Sanghyuk opened his eyes wide so that the mage could inspect them.

Deciding he wanted the mood to lighten up a little, Sanghyuk crossed his eyes comically and puffed out his cheeks, and, to his delight, Jaehwan let out a surprised little giggle, one of his hands coming up to cover his mouth as to not call too much attention to them. Sanghyuk allowed himself to smile proudly at that feat.

“Stop that,” Jaehwan admonished without any real bite, swatting the air next to the prince’s arm playfully. “And your eyes look fine.”

“Aw, Jaehwanie, you like my eyes?” Sanghyuk asked, greasy, and batted his eyelashes. Jaehwan snorted, the sound so unattractive Sanghyuk could only feel smitten.

“I meant they’re back to normal, idiot,” Jaehwan said, shaking his head, and moved back so he could stay a couple of steps away from Sanghyuk. “Let me know if you get too worked up, I have a calming tonic for that.”

“I can think of one or two things that might be much more effective than a tonic for when I get worked up,” Sanghyuk commented casually, to which Jaehwan rolled his eyes.

“Then you can go find one of your ‘friends’ to provide you with those, I’m only here to offer my magical expertise.”

Sanghyuk pursed his lips not to laugh or say out loud what had just flashed through his mind, which was something akin to ‘haha, more like exper- _tease_ ’.

Luckily for him, whatever he could possibly do or say was interrupted by the announcement of the last performance programmed for that night, and Jaehwan blinked with a spark of interest and began moving forward, closer to the marble balustrade that surrounded the upper level of the ballroom, from where they would have a privileged view of the floor below. Sanghyuk sighed, already bored with it for he had seen all kinds of performances there were to be seen, but followed Jaehwan nonetheless while praising the advisor in his thoughts for choosing a spot behind one of the decorative gilded marble pillars, where they would at least have some privacy from the eyes of the court.

It was that sort of thing that never failed to prove to Sanghyuk that Jaehwan was the only person in all of Thedas capable of being his advisor. The little things. The tiny gestures of familiarity, how Jaehwan simply knew what to do in any situation to make sure Sanghyuk was well taken care of. Things that could be seen as insignificant to any other person, but that meant the world to Sanghyuk; bringing him tonics, monitoring his temper, understanding when Sanghyuk needed space to breathe in private for a moment.

He would not read too much into it - that was Jaehwan’s job, the one he was chosen and trained to perform, and the fact that he did it so well was only proof of how qualified he was. It didn’t mean anything else.

Sanghyuk leaned casually against the pillar while Jaehwan rested his hands atop the balustrade, the position leaving Sanghyuk half a step behind his advisor. It was a good position in Sanghyuk’s humble opinion - there was a performance starting on the lower level of the room, some dancer if his peripheral vision was to be believed, but Sanghyuk was much more interested in watching Jaehwan.

Jaehwan seemed completely mesmerized by the dance being acted out beneath, his eyes wide with wonder and his lips slightly parted. Jaehwan always enjoyed watching artistic performances more than Sanghyuk did, which was only fitting since Jaehwan enjoyed performing himself - the mage had an exceptional singing voice - and each and every time he would look just like that, in awe, entranced. Beautiful.

Sanghyuk took in the planes of his cheek, the slope of his nose, the shape of the back of his ear; his profile lit by the crystal chandelier above them, the many candles on it reflecting the gems in a way that almost made it look like they were dancing along with the performer below, seemed like something out of a dream. Jaehwan was stunning. Sanghyuk wondered if Jaehwan knew he was stunning. Although, even if he didn’t, Sanghyuk couldn’t tell him because there was no way of doing so without betraying his true feelings towards him, and then where would that leave them?

Sanghyuk hoped it would leave them tangled up in bed feeling spent and happy, but reality would have it leave them awkward and distant instead.

He couldn’t elaborate on that thought, however, because he suddenly felt someone crash rather forcefully against his side, with strength enough to cause him to even stumble a bit.

“Oh, I’m so sorry, I’m— Y-your Highness!”

Sanghyuk blinked, completely lost as to what was happening, and upon looking over to the person who’d bumped into him he found himself looking upon an elven servant he couldn’t remember ever seeing before. His hair was dark, curling at the tips which brushed just over his large chocolate colored eyes, and he was— handsome. Very handsome. Handsome enough that Sanghyuk would most definitely remember him.

The servant was scrambling in search of something in his pocket while he held up the round tray of drinks he’d been holding with his other hand, balancing it incredibly well for one so flustered.

“I’m so very sorry, Your Highness, I was distracted, here, let me—” the servant was saying, Sanghyuk still a little dazed with the suddenness of the situation and how rapidly the servant was speaking, and then the elf was upon him, patting at the sash that crossed his chest with a kerchief frantically. “I am so very sorry, please, please forgive me—”

Sanghyuk looked down at his sash and found that the servant had spilled a drink on it, something he hadn’t noticed since he was wearing armor and couldn’t feel the temperature or moisture on his outfit. He really couldn’t care less about the whole thing, but the servant seemed so flustered he felt a little bad for him.

“It’s alright, it’s just a drink, not the end of the world,” Sanghyuk said, jovial, and noticed from the corner of his eyes that Jaehwan had looked behind himself and was chuckling at the scene.

Well, then.

“I can’t believe how clumsy I am,” the servant was mumbling, still furiously patting away the excess wetness from Sanghyuk’s chest. Sanghyuk put on his most charming smile and reached up to touch the servant’s hand softly, causing the elf to jolt slightly and raise his large eyes at him with an innocent expression.

“What is your name?”

“I’m— M-my name is Hongbin, Your Highness,” the elf answered, and Sanghyuk liked the timbre of his voice, low and sweet.

“Well, Hongbin,” Sanghyuk said, repeating the name with just the slightest hint of malice, “it is truly no harm done, but if you do feel like you should make amends, I can think of a couple of ways.”

Sanghyuk hated acting so sleazy with the servants, but the way Jaehwan narrowed his eyes in distaste and turned back around to watch the performance was somehow gratifying. He would wait to feel guilty about his behavior later.

The servant - Hongbin - giggled, ducking his head and using the kerchief he was holding to hide his laughter, a charming pair of dimples making an appearance on his cheeks.

Alright, that elf was truly, incredibly, stupendously, honest to the Maker and Andraste, gorgeous.

“I’m flattered, my prince,” Hongbin said and bowed his head briefly before returning to his task of cleaning the mess he’d made on Sanghyuk’s armor. “I cannot fathom how a lowly servant such as myself could possibly hope to make it up to someone of your rank, but I would do my absolute best.”

“Oh, I’m sure you would,” Sanghyuk replied, but more dismissively this time now that Jaehwan wasn’t paying attention. The prince didn’t even notice he was openly staring at his advisor now, his line of sight shifting without his consent or awareness.

Hongbin followed Sanghyuk’s gaze as he continued to clean his armor. “Beautiful, is it not?”

“Hm?” Sanghyuk hummed in confusion and blinked, turning his gaze again to Hongbin, and, assuming he was talking about the performance, Sanghyuk dumbly nodded to agree. “Uh, yes, it’s— Lovely.”

Hongbin chuckled and leaned in secretively, and Sanghyuk was so taken aback at his boldness he just stood there, struck dumb. Servants were not usually so quick to behave in such a straightforward manner, not with him. “Forgive me if I am overstepping, Your Highness,” Hongbin spoke, voice pitched low as he leaned closer to whisper in Sanghyuk’s ear, “but speaking from experience, you should not let your affections remain unheard. You might end up regretting not taking a chance.”

Sanghyuk froze, stomach churning unpleasantly and bile rising up to his throat as he stumbled back, gaping at Hongbin who, giving a last pat on his chest with the kerchief, smiled innocently up at him.

“There, good as new,” Hongbin said, flashing him a dimpled grin. “I shall take my leave. Forgive me again for the mess, my prince.”

And, bowing briefly, Hongbin stepped around Sanghyuk and disappeared into the crowd.

Sanghyuk watched him go at a loss for words or actions, mouth hanging open still with the shock that entire exchange caused him. Was he— Was he being so obvious? If he was, then did Jaehwan notice his feelings as well? No, it couldn’t be. Jaehwan would have said something or betrayed that knowledge somehow, no, that servant was just very observant. Certainly, it had to be it.

“Oh, your new friend left already?”

Jaehwan’s voice made Sanghyuk jump with a start, quickly turning to face the mage who was now watching him with a quizzical brow raised.

“What’s wrong? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

“I—” Sanghyuk started, a frown gracing his features as he looked towards the direction to where Hongbin had gone to. “That servant. Is he new? I don’t remember ever seeing him around.”

Jaehwan rolled one shoulder in a disinterested shrug. “I would have recognized him. He’s certainly not one of ours.” Then, giving Sanghyuk a look over his shoulder, Jaehwan scoffed. “And not to put a damper on your blooming epic romance, your boyfriend made away with your new shiny brooch.”

“Wha—” Sanghyuk looked down at his sash and, indeed, the dragon pin his mother had personally attached to it earlier was now conspicuously missing from his ensemble. “Maker’s balls.”

“Shall we call the guards?” Jaehwan asked, turning back to the performance below.

Sanghyuk huffed, shaking his head in self-admonishment. He’d been played and he’d been played very well, but he would not let that make that already terrible night that more terrible.

“No, let him have it. I’ll just tell mother it must have fallen somewhere,” Sanghyuk said, leaning on the railing beside Jaehwan to try and watch the rest of the performance. “It’s probably not important.”

 

✶✶✶

 

Patrolling the inner hallways of the palace was infinitely better than doing rounds outside; it was warmer, for one, and he didn’t have to deal with drunken nobles tripping over their feet on their way to their carriages. Yes, it was still a bit early for people to be leaving the party, a little more than a couple of hours into the festivities, but there were a few who had to leave sooner than expected. Wonshik suspected the reasons were because they were, well, drunk out of their minds. Not very polite, especially when the king and queen were present.

Wonshik sighed, bobbing his head along with the music coming from the ballroom downstairs, loud enough to be heard even in the empty, dark hallway he was in. Castrum Draconis was a stunning work of architecture and was as well maintained as it was humanly - and magically - possible, but this was a more secluded hallway, away from the venues open to the guests during the party, and so was far less illuminated, only a few candles on the walls lighting his way.

It was pleasant, even if a bit creepy. Dealing with so many annoying people he didn’t particularly want to deal with on a daily basis, moments of solitude like this were more than welcome; he never really had the opportunity to be truly alone, carrying on his patrols often with a partner, backup, and as he lived in the barracks with all the other guards, he was constantly surrounded by people. Wonshik enjoyed the quiet, always had - he had enjoyed countless moments of solitude growing up, but solitude was hard to come by these days.

There was only one person that came to his mind with whom he wouldn’t mind sharing the quiet with, and that person was—

...That person was just entering the hallway where he was, wearing a fine but simple dress, her hair done up and a smile on her face.

“Jimin!” Wonshik called, a smile of his own blossoming on his lips, as he jogged up to where she was. “I was about to go search for you.”

A white lie, as he’d been too preoccupied with his patrol and Hongbin’s ulterior motives to remember he’d set a date with her, but what Jimin didn’t know wouldn’t kill her.

“I wasn’t sure when we’d be meeting up, so I took the opportunity of sneaking out while Lady Hwang was distracted by the performance,” Jimin explained before giving Wonshik a once over. “You sure clean up nice.”

“You don’t look too bad yourself,” Wonshik responded, fighting back the cringe for saying such a thing. Clearing his throat, he continued. “Uh— So! Is the party as boring as you thought it would be?”

Jimin’s lips pursed together tightly into a thin little line in clear disapproval. Wonshik raised an eyebrow.

“That bad?”

“It’s just… Ugh,” Jimin groaned and raised her hands to her head, massaging her temples with her fingers. “Lady Hwang’s so  _annoying_. She won’t stop ordering me around and showing me off to her pretentious friends like I’m some exotic animal, and don’t get me started on the perfume the woman is wearing, the thing is so sweet I’m surprised she’s not being swarmed by flies.”  She paused, shoulders slumping as she heaved a long sigh. Then, noticing she basically just went on a rant to Wonshik, the elf cleared her throat, swaying on the balls of her feet uncomfortably as her gaze shifted around, eyes going everywhere except to Wonshik’s general direction. “I— Uh— Sorry.”

“Don’t be, I understand the feeling of having an asswipe for a boss,” Wonshik said, and his words at least worked for making Jimin laugh. Wonshik then cleared his throat, feeling shy all of a sudden. “You, uh… Want to walk with me?”

Again, he fought the urge not to cringe at his choice of words. ‘Want to walk with me’? What kind of line was that?

“I’d love to!” Jimin said and beamed at him, but got serious not two seconds after. “But only if we don’t have to go near the ballroom’s vicinity.”

Wonshik chuckled and shook his head. “Not at all, I’m actually not even allowed on the first floor.” Wonshik gestured towards the doors beyond, just to illustrate. “I’m supposed to get to those doors and then turn around and walk all the way to the other side, and after doing that for a while I’ll head upstairs to patrol the hallways there.”

“Wow… I never realized your job was so boring,” Jimin said, half-teasing, half-honest. Wonshik snorted, beginning to walk again. Jimin easily fell in step with him.

“Yeah, it’s not every time we have something exciting happen,” Wonshik mused. “And I’m just a grunt, really. My rank is too low to get the more intense assignments. Maybe if I ever get a promotion I’ll be out investigating murders or something.”

“Now  _that_ would be exciting,” Jimin said and sighed. “I wish I could do something more exciting. Even walking up and down hallways like this is better than being a servant.”

“You could always get another job,” Wonshik suggested, but that was a discussion they’d had before. He knew what Jimin would say.

“How many other jobs could an elf like me get?” Jimin asked and smiled, but it was sad, brittle. “I don’t really have many talents, never truly learned any other occupation. People say I’m attractive, but… I don’t want to be… _That._ Perhaps I should, but just the thought of it makes me feel ill.”

‘ _Just as I_ ’, Wonshik thought with a pinch of bitterness.

“I could teach you how to fight.” Wonshik offered in a joking manner, leading Jimin to a balcony he had walked by earlier, which overlooked the royal gardens, that had been blessedly empty. It was spacious, the night air fresh and sweet once they stepped outside. “Then you could—”

Wonshik stopped short - the balcony wasn’t blessedly empty anymore.

Leaning back on the stone balustrade supporting himself by his elbows and turned towards the door, a placid expression on his face and a tiny little smirk on his lips, was Hongbin. Wonshik hated how just the sight of him made his heart stutter. Jimin has also stopped walking next to him, and now her eyes were going from one man to the other, at a complete loss.

“Fancy meeting you here,” Hongbin greeted Wonshik blandly before his eyes fell on Jimin. “Why don’t you introduce me to your friend?”

“You know each other?” Jimin asked as she looked at Wonshik for guidance.

Hongbin’s lips twitched with amusement. “Oh, you have no idea.”

Wonshik didn’t react right away, caught unawares by Hongbin’s presence. Jimin had managed the incredible feat that was to get him to  _stop_ obsessing about Hongbin, and of course that was all it took to summon him. It didn’t help that the elf was, as always, looking stunning and enticing despite the simplicity of the clothes he was wearing - servant clothes.

That certainly did not bode well.

“Jimin, you should return to the ballroom,” Wonshik said between teeth, eyes never leaving Hongbin as if expecting his long lost friend to pounce upon them. Jimin hesitated, and Wonshik urged her, “Go. I’ll be fine.”

She shot one last glance towards Hongbin but did as Wonshik asked and left, making her way back to the party and leaving Wonshik alone to deal with Hongbin and whatever shenanigans he was up to.

Hongbin seemed more than happy to wait for Jimin to make her exit before turning his full attention to Wonshik.

“That was very rude of you, Shik. And a little dramatic,” Hongbin admonished, elven eyes reflecting the light like those of a cat. “Now your girlfriend will think I’m some sort of criminal.”

“You  _are_ a criminal, Hongbin,” Wonshik smartly pointed out, approaching the elf with sure steps while his heart hammered uncontrollably inside his chest. “What are you doing here?”

“I told you, didn’t I? I have business in the city,” Hongbin said, shrugging in a way to dismiss Wonshik’s concern. “That my business brought me to the ball is no concern of yours.”

“It is if you’re here to break the law,” Wonshik replied and stopped before Hongbin, only an arm’s length away. “Is that why you’re here for?”

Hongbin chuckled. “Oh, aren’t you ever the hammer of justice?” He grinned, all teeth, like a shark. “And for your information, I am already done here, and as you can see, nothing is amiss. I only lingered in the hopes of catching sight of my favorite guardsman.”

“Spare me,” Wonshik snapped and crossed his arms, eyes narrowed as he stared at Hongbin. “Why are you really here?”

Hongbin’s expression faltered. “Is it truly so hard to believe that I’m here to see you? That I’ve missed you?”

“Yes. Yes, it is,” Wonshik said, no hesitation. “It’s been twelve years, Hongbin.”

“Twelve years and not a day went by where I didn’t think about you,” Hongbin murmured, pushing himself off the stone railing to close the distance between them. “You were my best friend then, Shik. Why can’t we be as we were?”

“Because you left,” Wonshik said, and Hongbin was too close, far too close for him to be able to think straight. It was heady having him near after all those years, and it  _hurt_. “You left and never sent word. I waited for you. I waited for years. It’s too late now.”

“Says who?” Hongbin asked, and it sounded a little urgent, his large eyes sparkling under the starlight, the blue flames of the garden’s lamps. Hongbin didn’t give Wonshik a chance to reply. “Would it have made you happier if I had stayed? If I had lived a miserable life, fighting tooth and nail for scraps of food in the Alienage? To be like your little girlfriend and serve some noble? Work myself to the bone at some tavern, having to suffer every drunkard in town pinching my ass?”

“It would have made me happier if you had at least sent a letter, a message, _anything_ to let me know you were fine!” Wonshik lost his composure, his voice loud in the peace of the royal gardens. “You could be dead, married to someone in a village by the sea, captured by slavers and serving some Magister in Tevinter, how could I _know?_ ”

Hongbin pursed his lips and averted his gaze towards the floor. He was silent for a few seconds, chest moving rapidly with his erratic breathing. “I know,” he said, barely a whisper. “I’m sorry. I know I should have sent word.”

Wonshik sighed, tired, shoulders slumping and head dropping. “It doesn’t matter now. You should leave.”

“You didn’t deny it.”

Wonshik frowned, looking up again to stare at Hongbin as if he had sprouted a second head. “Didn’t deny what?”

“That that woman is your girlfriend.”

Wonshik couldn’t help a little chuckle, mirthless and bitter. “Why does it matter? What if she is? Maybe we’re engaged. Maybe she’s my wife. Maybe I have children with her. Why do you care?”

“You know why,” Hongbin muttered, still not meeting his gaze. “We… We meant something more to each other, once.”

“We did,” Wonshik didn’t try to reject that particular piece of sour truth. “When we were  _twelve_. It’s been too long. We’ve changed too much. I don’t know you anymore, as you don’t know me.”

“Then get to know me,” Hongbin said and finally looked up again, a silent plea in his eyes. “Let me know you.”

Wonshik wanted to let those beautiful brown eyes draw him in, wanted to sink into them and drown as he had done so long ago, but he couldn’t. Not again.

“I can’t,” Wonshik replied and shook his head. “I have to go back to work.”

He made to turn around, but Hongbin was faster and held him by the arm. Wonshik frowned and looked back, finding a bit of desperation in his face - desperation and longing.

“At least dance with me,” he asked, “one last time?”

Wonshik exhaled slowly, shakily. He could hear the music filtering through the open door behind them, a gentle but upbeat melody, his mind conjuring up the images of the court dancing the night away, the pretty dresses flurrying around as they spun in the gilded marble floors of the ballroom. He could remember a younger version of himself, a younger version of Hongbin, laughing and twirling around the Alienage’s Vhenadahl to the sound of lutes, their fingers sticky from one too many candied apples as they held hands.

The temptation was far too strong for Wonshik to ignore, and later he would reserve himself the time to regret it, but right now, there was only one thing he wanted, needed, to do - he needed to have Hongbin in his arms. One last time. Just this one last time, then he would let go of that sentiment he harbored ever since they were children. Then he would move on and not look back.

Silently, Wonshik moved to leave his helm atop the balustrade and reached out a hand to take Hongbin’s, the elf promptly accepting the contact. Shyly but with more confidence than he felt he had, Wonshik pulled Hongbin close to him, gentle, free hand coming to rest chastely over the elf’s waist. Hongbin’s own hand went to Wonshik’s shoulder, their other hands firmly clasped together. From this close, Wonshik could almost count the specs in Hongbin’s beautiful brown eyes.

Wonshik took the lead easily even without any sort of dancing experience - he knew the basics of a waltz, but that was the extent of it. Learning to dance was never something required of him, so he just tried to move according to the tune, gliding from side to side with Hongbin effortlessly falling into step with him, seemingly glad to give Wonshik the reigns. They were tense when they first started the dance, but with each move they grew more and more relaxed, closer and closer to each other until their chests were bumping into one another - it was likely not very comfortable for Hongbin, considering Wonshik’s heavy plate armor, but the elf didn’t seem to mind nor notice it. He wanted Hongbin closer, and he wanted to push Hongbin away at the same time, but he was stuck there, eyes locked to Hongbin’s, breathing in his scent, the smell of soap on his skin and grapes in his breath, and it was so much to take in Wonshik felt like he might burst.

He was an idiot. A complete and utter idiot, and there was nowhere he’d rather be.

Hongbin’s expression was hard to read - his eyes were shining, there was a serene smile on his lips and he seemed relaxed, but that could either mean that he was enjoying himself, having fun, or that he wanted to… No, Wonshik couldn’t let himself go down that road. Couldn’t let himself hope.

But maybe he could—

No. No, he couldn’t.

“See?” Hongbin asked, mild. “This is not so bad, is it?”

“No, I suppose it isn’t,” Wonshik said, words clipped. Hongbin chuckled.

“You know,” he started, casual, eyes gleaming with something Wonshik wasn’t sure how to interpret, “you keep complaining about how I’m going to leave again, but have you considered coming with me?”

Wonshik’s steps faltered and he stopped dancing, hands falling away from Hongbin once he stepped back. “What?”

“There’s more to the world than Nevarra, Shik,” Hongbin said, reaching out to grasp Wonshik’s hands again, not letting him go, his grip tight and urgent. “I want you to see it. I want to show it all to you.”

“I have a life here, Hongbin,” Wonshik was already shaking his head even before he finished the sentence, pulling his hands back. “You can’t expect me to drop everything to follow you wherever you go. I have responsibilities, I have friends and family here, I can’t—”

“You  _can,_ ” Hongbin interrupted him. “You’re limiting yourself by staying here, you—” Hongbin paused, seemingly to reel in the wave of emotion that had begun to rise inside him. Calmer, he continued. “I know you, or at least I did, once. If I still know you as well as I hope I do, I can see in your face that you’re not happy.”

Wonshik almost choked on the air he’d been inhaling at Hongbin’s words. Hongbin was right; he was right and Wonshik was not happy and he couldn’t even deny it because Hongbin would be able to tell he was lying. The last thing he wanted was for Hongbin to notice how miserable he was, didn’t want Hongbin to know how much of a mess he’d become without him, but there it was, the fact bared and exposed between them.

As Wonshik had been shocked into silence, Hongbin continued to speak. “I know I’m overstepping. I know. I’m making assumptions and it’s not fair, but I—”

Hongbin suddenly clamped his mouth shut, his gaze shifting from Wonshik’s face to somewhere over his shoulders and above, to the rooftops. Before Wonshik could follow his line of sight or ask what the matter was, Hongbin’s expression had shifted, his eyes narrowed dangerously and his hands had flown to his sides.

“Wonshik—!”

Hongbin started to call out a warning but it was a heartbeat too late. The next thing he knew, he felt the impact of what felt like a pair of feet on his upper back and was sent flying to the floor, the force so great he tumbled a good distance from where he’d been standing. At the same time, he heard the clash of steel against steel, the flurry of rapid footsteps and the rustling of clothes.

In a daze, Wonshik pressed his palms to the ground to lift himself up so he could look behind, and, once he did, he was met with the sight of Hongbin battling a hooded assailant, both of them brandishing daggers at each other. For all that he suspected that Hongbin had learned to fight somewhere along the way during the past decade, Wonshik wasn’t expecting to actually get to see it - Hongbin’s style was simple yet precise, no flourish in his movements, but he was fast, agile like a stray cat, and the concentration in his eyes spoke numbers to the damage he would be able to cause if his foe was not careful.

Alas, his foe  _was_ careful; whoever that hooded stranger was, they were well versed in the art of keeping themselves just out of reach, just one step too far away, just one movement ahead. They blocked and dodged every single one of Hongbin’s blows, and a quick glance at Hongbin was enough for Wonshik to know the elf was getting angry.

That would be bad, if it happened. Anger was not the best sentiment to harbor during a battle.

Forcing himself out of his stupor, Wonshik got back on his feet and unsheathed his sword, rolling his wrist to make sure his grip was firm enough before he swung it in a wide arc at the stranger.

The damn— _whoever_ was too fast and blocked the hit with a single one of his daggers, the other one blocking both of Hongbin’s, and they— _He—_

Giggled.

The hooded stranger, blocking both Hongbin and Wonshik at the same time, _giggled_.

The fact that their unseen enemy had the nerve to laugh in the midst of their scuffle not only baffled Wonshik but it offended him in an existential level - was that little laugh a way of saying that both Hongbin and Wonshik were that far below him in skill? What an absolute brat!

Wonshik spun, letting the weight of the sword carry it along, aimed at the stranger’s back, but before he could hit his target the stranger jumped and—

“Where the fuck did he go!?” Hongbin demanded, looking around wildly, and Wonshik grabbed him by the arm and pulled him closer so they could stand back to back and cover each other.

“What is going on, Hongbin?” Wonshik asked brusquely, searching left and right with his eyes for any sign of their assailant.

“How would I know? The guy came out of nowhere!”

“But he’s obviously after you, I thought it was another one of your ‘old friends’,” Wonshik chided and could almost feel Hongbin’s eyes glaring holes into the back of his neck.

“I’ve never seen the guy before, now stop blaming me and—”

They both jumped, startled with the metallic clattering that echoed in the otherwise silent balcony, caused by Wonshik’s forgotten helm falling over the railing to the garden below. They both turned to look automatically, but the moment they did Wonshik felt something - someone - colliding against his side and pushing him away from Hongbin.

Wonshik stumbled and almost lost his footing, managing to keep himself up only by placing a hand on the balustrade. Turning around, he found that the stranger had again focused his attack on Hongbin, and had, to some extent, gotten the elf by surprise - he’d grabbed Hongbin by the arm and yanked him back, causing him to lose balance and almost fall, but Hongbin used the momentum to pull their foe down with him and now they were both struggling on the ground, tumbling this way and that trying to either strike at each other or get up so they could, well, strike at each other.

Wonshik found the scene reminiscent of two children scuffling over a toy. What the toy in question was, though, he had no idea.

Hongbin was the first to get back up, smartly rolling away from the stranger’s reach. With the respite, the man also pushed himself up, and that motion combined with the fierce struggle he’d just been in caused his hood to fall back, revealing a pair of pointy ears and shoulder-length jet black hair, faint traces of ink markings on his forehead and cat-like eyes. The lower half of his face was covered by a dark bandana, but that was already so  _not_ what Wonshik was expecting.

A pretty elf fighting another pretty elf on a balcony of Castrum Draconis and Wonshik was caught in the middle. What a night.

And not only a pretty elf - judging from the markings on his skin, he was Dalish. A pretty  _Dalish_ elf. In Castrum Draconis.

What in the Maker’s name was going on?

The strange elf didn’t seem fazed by half of his face being revealed, obviously not caring about it at all, too focused on lunging at Hongbin again. Hongbin was ready this time and blocked the elf’s now only dagger with one of his own, the stranger’s other hand grabbing Hongbin’s other wrist. Wonshik shook himself from the trance he was in as he watched them fight and moved to intervene.

He never got there, though.

Just as he took the first step, a loud explosion broke through the quiet, the floor and walls shaking around them. The shock almost knocked Wonshik off his feet again, his eyes wide with dread.

The explosion came from the ballroom.

Jimin was in the ballroom.

Wonshik scrambled to start moving, but at the same time, Hongbin’s voice caught his attention.

“No— Give that back!”

Wonshik turned his gaze towards the two elves and found Hongbin getting back on his feet after being knocked down, either by the other elf or by the sudden blast, and the strange elf, with his hood firmly back in place, running out of the balcony and into the castle.

“Wonshik, don’t let him get away!” Hongbin warned as he took off after the stranger, and Wonshik hesitated. Should he go after Hongbin? Should he go down to the ballroom and search for Jimin? See what had happened, if people were hurt?

Cursing his single-mindedness and predictability, Wonshik followed his instincts and broke into a sprint to chase after Hongbin.

 

✶

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> uhhh yeah, so that was taek
> 
> anyways, i've received a few messages both from people who know dragon age and from people who never played it before, so far the plot is being understandable for everyone, but as we go deeper into the story things might become a little confusing
> 
> so! i'm thinking of making a guide to explain only the key lore points i'm using and a little bit more on each of the characters' backgrounds and such, would that be something anyone would be interested in?  
> you can let me know your opinion on this, and also ask me questions in case something is not clear enough in the story, on the comments, on my [twitter](https://twitter.com/ghostlike91), or if you're shy and prefer to do it anonymously, on my [tumblr](https://ghostlike91.tumblr.com/)
> 
> thanks for giving my story a little bit of your time, i'll try to update it soon <3


	3. Everything's alright.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [insert that meme with the dog at the bar and everything is burning around him and he's like 'this is fine' here]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> warnings for blood, violence, gore, potty mouthedness(?) and taek's pretty eyes staring because that should be illegal
> 
> also, fair warning: this is a Mess™

✶

 

Jaehwan loved watching any and all sorts of artistic performances. From dancing to singing to acting to those lovely operas with magical effects, he loved it all. His position, fortunately, allowed him to enjoy such entertainments often, but it wasn’t always that he felt as transfixed as he felt while watching that dancer perform.

Hakyeon from Llomerryn, the announcer had said. Well, Hakyeon from Llomerryn was one hell of a dancer. His movements were long and graceful, limbs stretching to the very tips of his fingers, each gesture light as if the dancer was made of air. He spun and twirled and jumped, each motion seamlessly connecting to the last and the next, the fluidity flawless.

And not only did the dancer’s body moved well, but his facial expressions told a story with the rise and fall of the melody chosen for his act; he would frown and smile and stare fiercely, weaving feelings into his dance in such a way that had Jaehwan thoroughly enchanted.

The dancer was performing a number that involved several colorful veils, his own clothes light and loose, creating movement of its own as the man glided around the marble floors, using the space as well as he used his own body. He cursed Sanghyuk in thoughts a little bit for distracting him from such an incredible performance, but it was still somehow satisfying to know Sanghyuk had been played by the servant he was planning to play with - served him well to get his royal dick’s antics thrown back to his face once in a while.

Despite the amusement Sanghyuk getting his jewelry stolen caused him, Jaehwan was still concerned. The prince had his moods, was known to be broody and surly at times, but that night— something didn’t seem quite right. Sanghyuk was acting… Odd.

It wasn’t a secret, at least not to Jaehwan, that Sanghyuk’s relationship with his parents wasn’t the best. It was also not a secret that Sanghyuk viewed his duties as crown prince as things to be avoided at all costs, most of all the need to choose himself a bride, something which, if not done soon, would be a right stripped away from him for his parents would feel the need to choose someone themselves.

It was a touchy subject, even when not combined with Sanghyuk’s volatile temper. And, in no small way, Jaehwan blamed himself for the way things were strained between Sanghyuk and his parents - was he not in the picture, then perhaps their relationship would be less frayed.

Jaehwan thought that was the reason behind why he went to such lengths to ensure Sanghyuk’s well being, his safety and comfort. Why he put up with his behavior, why he always watched him closely, despite constantly complaining that he was not his caretaker, that watching over him was not part of his job description.

Nobody would do for Sanghyuk the things Jaehwan would. The things he had already done.

Jaehwan blinked himself back to the moment, not realizing he had sunken into his thoughts; he shouldn’t be thinking of his past decisions, no matter how life changing they had been, in the middle of a ball. He had kept it hidden well so far, and he couldn’t slip now, raise suspicion to himself, as he was sure the king would not approve of his— Dabblings. It was just one more thing that could get him thrown out of Castrum Draconis in the blink of an eye. Luckily for him, it would still seem to anyone who was watching that he had simply gotten distracted by the performance still happening below, which, from the looks of it, seemed to be nearing its end.

Jaehwan shook himself discreetly, glancing at Sanghyuk from the corner of his eyes. The prince was watching the dancer with far more attention than what he would usually reserve for entertainment acts like that, which spoke numbers to ‘Hakyeon from Llomerryn’’s talent. The mage smiled to himself, content that at least Sanghyuk was distracted and not overthinking things and obsessing over what he couldn’t change.

He was still worried, though; Sanghyuk’s complexion was unusually pale and, even though his eyes were still their normal dark brown hue, Jaehwan could sense some distress emanating from the prince. He didn’t know what to make of it, couldn’t tell if that anxiousness was over what had just happened with the ‘servant’, if it had been the queen and her constant nagging or if he was feeling nervous about not being able to enjoy the ball the way he wanted to. It could even be something else entirely from all Jaehwan knew.

And it’s not like he could just ask Sanghyuk what was wrong - that would only serve to make Sanghyuk smug about Jaehwan caring or to make Sanghyuk angry about Jaehwan prodding. Both outcomes would be unpleasant to deal with.

It could have something to do with Sanghyuk’s strange behavior that night, behavior Jaehwan could only describe as ‘this boy needs a hug’. It wasn’t something that happened so often, for Sanghyuk to be so— s _oft._  So vulnerable. Jaehwan didn’t know what to make of it, especially because he was certain Sanghyuk wasn’t faking it for his own amusement. No, something was bothering the prince, something inside that thick head of his was causing that change in character.

Jaehwan tried to put the pieces together. It had started when they were getting ready and Sanghyuk asked if Jaehwan cared about him. What were they talking about then? His scales? No, that had been before that. They commented on the scales, Sanghyuk got defensive, and then— Ah, Jaehwan helped him with the gauntlets, yes. And then… Then Sanghyuk tried teasing him with one of his many sexual quips. It had been a weak one, and Jaehwan had, of course, responded with a level headed answer. Sanghyuk asking Jaehwan if he cared right after that meant— No. No way. Did he—

Did Sanghyuk  _actually_ mean the not-so-thinly-veiled invitations to get Jaehwan to bed?

And, if he was worried about Jaehwan  _caring_ about him, as opposed to Jaehwan being  _attracted_ to him, then—

No, Sanghyuk didn’t have feelings for him. That would be ludicrous. The only feelings Jaehwan could picture Sanghyuk harboring towards him were the unpleasant kinds, such as disgust, disapproval, exasperation, general annoyance. Nothing positive, nothing like— like _caring_.

No, the logical explanation was that Sanghyuk might be emotionally interested in someone else, someone who was most definitely  _not_ Jaehwan. Asking Jaehwan if he cared was perhaps a way for Sanghyuk to reassure himself that he was worthy of love and affection. That made so much more sense than— _that_. Sanghyuk seemed to get more and more upset whenever talks of finding himself a bride came up, which played well into Jaehwan theory.

Sanghyuk was probably in love with someone who wasn’t suited to become his queen. One of the elven servants, perhaps. Yes, that was likely it. Or maybe a male of— Whatever species, since two males can’t produce heirs and, as such, would not be fit to carry on the bloodline. Sanghyuk would certainly still have his lovers once he found a wife that could have his babies - who Jaehwan predicted would be little shits just like their daddy dearest - but that Sanghyuk was reluctant to marry someone over having feelings for someone else, then those feelings must be very deep.

Jaehwan ignored how the thought made his stomach feel funny.

It was none of his business anyway. It would be in case he met the object of Sanghyuk’s affections and deemed them dangerous to the prince on some level, then and only then would he feel the need to intervene. It did not seem to be the case - yet - and as such, there was no need for Jaehwan to concern himself over Sanghyuk’s liaisons.

Yes, the best he could do at that moment was not think about it. It’s not like he could do anything, he and Sanghyuk were not— _friends_ , they didn’t confide in each other about those types of things, so just outright asking Sanghyuk what was going on in his mind would most likely not fly over too well.

The sound of applause broke Jaehwan from his musings and he quickly raised his own hands to join the ovation. Damn him and his stupid brain, he had lost the finale of the performance and that was as much a heresy as taking a leak on a statue of Andraste. Damn.

The dancer was now bowing gracefully to the public, bending halfway over himself when facing the king and queen, and Jaehwan thought that was a good moment as any to bring Sanghyuk back before the king began his speech. If the prince was not at the table by his parents’ side there would be hell to pay, and if they could avoid useless punishment, they should.

Or. Well. They should avoid any and all punishment whether they deserved it or not, but they should avoid the useless ones the most.

Jaehwan turned to Sanghyuk once the applause began to die down and raised his hand to touch his forearm. He caught himself the last moment and quickly retracted his hand, clearing his throat instead to get the prince’s attention. “Your Highness?”

Sanghyuk blinked rapidly at the sound of Jaehwan’s voice as if waking from a deep sleep, turning his face to look at him. “Mm?”

Jaehwan arched an eyebrow and grinned. “Seems like you were enjoying the performance.”

Sanghyuk pursed his lips and Jaehwan wished he wasn’t imagining the faint blush on his cheeks. “That dancer was very good.”

“Mhm, he was. I’ll try to get you an autograph,” Jaehwan airily said, gesturing with one hand for them to begin walking. “Shall we return to the table?”

Sanghyuk groaned but complied with a nod. “Fine, yes. Let’s walk slowly, though.”

Jaehwan huffed through his nose. “No matter how much we drag our feet, Your Highness, we will still reach the table eventually,” he said as he began to walk back the way they came. Sanghyuk promptly followed. “Besides, isn’t it best to get the boring part out of the way as soon as possible? You are not the only one craving intoxication.”

Sanghyuk chuckled, the sound coming out a bit choked as if the prince wasn’t expecting to laugh. “I’m starting to believe that tonics are not the only things you’ve brought along tonight.”

Jaehwan only gave Sanghyuk a pointed look. “Why would I waste my own alcohol when I can drink your father’s for free?”

“Fair enough,” Sanghyuk granted, moving his gaze around the room and grinning widely once he noticed most of the attendees wouldn’t meet his eyes. “You can talk ill about my scales all you like, but you can’t deny they are very useful when they need to be.”

Jaehwan rolled his eyes and sighed. He agreed, sure, for keeping annoying nobles away was a great perk, but  _still_. “As you say, my prince.”

They were about halfway to the table, their conversation having reached a brief lull, when Sanghyuk called his name in a voice that Jaehwan could only qualify as ‘hesitant’.

“Jaehwan?”

“Yes?” Jaehwan immediately raised his eyes to meet Sanghyuk’s - that is, if Sanghyuk was looking back at him, which he wasn’t. His eyes were firmly turned down to the marble floor. Jaehwan frowned slightly, a small wave of concern hitting him. “Is something the matter?”

“No, I—” Sanghyuk said, shaking his head, and then paused, biting his lips for a moment before turning to him. “I just… I wanted to thank you.”

Jaehwan almost tripped on his own feet. “Thank me?”

“For tonight, I mean. Well, maybe not  _only_ for tonight, I—” Sanghyuk stopped short before he began to ramble and, after taking a long intake of air, he continued. “You did a lot for me.  _Do_ a lot for me. I am thankful.”

If at that moment someone had come up and told Jaehwan the world had turned upside down, he would have believed them. “I— I am only doing my duty as your advisor.”

Sanghyuk lowered his head again, expression hardening a bit. “Right.”

Sanghyuk stopped walking and Jaehwan did the same a couple steps ahead of him, turning back with a question written all over his face. “Sanghyuk?”

“Tonight, after— After, you know,” he said and gestured vaguely at the table where his parents were sitting. “Later. Do you want— Would you dance with me?”

Jaehwan jerked a little, blinking a couple of times to be sure he wasn’t hallucinating. He could feel heat pooling on his cheeks. “Dance?”

“Yes, would you?” Sanghyuk asked, eyes were sparkling, and Jaehwan had absolutely no idea what was happening, but he felt like he had just been metaphorically pushed against a wall, and the bricks of said wall were loose and about to crumble and he would fall into an endless abyss.

“I— Your Highness, I’m your Arcane Advisor, it would not be— You should be asking the ladies of the court to dance instead,” Jaehwan said, stammering, hoping that the answer he chose would knock the little sense Sanghyuk had back inside his thick skull.

Sanghyuk groaned and shook his head, the action obviously one of frustration, which didn’t help clear Jaehwan’s confusion. “I’m not saying I won’t dance with them, I’m—”

The end of Sanghyuk’s sentence was lost forever when a blood-curdling scream interrupted their increasingly more heated argument. Jaehwan turned to the direction where the sound had come from, and by then there were more screams echoing all around them, people rushing to and fro, glasses breaking. He couldn’t see anything, not with the people crowded around the table, with the people running.

“Sanghyuk—” Jaehwan called and began to turn to the prince, but Sanghyuk was already charging ahead towards the table, towards his parents, where the chaos was taking place. “Sanghyuk, don’t!”

Sanghyuk wasn’t listening, intent on finding out if the king and queen were alright, but Jaehwan had a gut feeling that if he let Sanghyuk get there, the prince would be in danger. So he did his best despite the robes and the fancy boots not made for running and sprinted after him, lacing his both arms around the prince’s waist and yanking him backward.

Sanghyuk lost his balance and fell back, his armor clattering on the marble floor. He struggled, trying to get up and continue on his way, but Jaehwan reached into the Fade for his magic to be able to hold Sanghyuk in place, keeping Sanghyuk down with magical energy.

“Sanghyuk, stop, stop—” Jaehwan said next to the prince’s ear, Sanghyuk struggling in his arms with such ferocity he would have likely ripped Jaehwan’s arms off their sockets were it not for his magic. “Sanghyuk, we have to go, we have to—”

There was a crash, the sound of a window breaking just a few steps away from where they were, and Jaehwan dropped to the floor next to Sanghyuk to protect himself from the glass shards flying everywhere. He could smell the coppery scent of blood and the acrid scent smoke in the air, hear the people stomping their way towards the doors trying to get out of the ballroom, hear the screams of those not lucky enough to reach the exits.

“Jaehwan?” Sanghyuk’s voice broke through the cacophony and Jaehwan raised his head to meet the prince’s concerned gaze - his irises were beginning to change hues already. “Are you alright, are you hurt?”

“I’m—” Jaehwan stopped himself once he noticed an object from the corner of his eyes, the one that had been thrown into the window. For a split second, Jaehwan thought it was a rock, but he realized very fast that rocks don’t spark.

Gasping out a choked warning, Jaehwan only had the time to conjure a magical barrier around him and Sanghyuk by the skin of his teeth. He had shifted his body in a way to shield Sanghyuk, but Sanghyuk had one arm wrapped around his shoulders as if he, in turn, was also trying to protect Jaehwan. Later he would let himself rejoice in the knowledge that Sanghyuk didn’t hate him enough to let him die, but at that moment he needed to get the prince out of there.

He got up, barrier dissipating as he moved, and turned to help Sanghyuk up. He pulled him by the arm towards the doors that led outside of the ballroom, but Sanghyuk didn’t budge.

“My parents!” Sanghyuk yelled from behind him, and Jaehwan moved his eyes towards the table - what was left of it - but all he saw there was red. There were men there, unknown men in ratty, dirty armor and chainmail, rustic leathers and fur, men who had appeared seemingly out of nowhere, brandishing swords and slaughtering everyone in sight. The king was nowhere to be seen. Likely already dead.

And the queen—

Jaehwan looked from side to side in a frenzy and, finally, he managed to locate the queen trying to crawl away from a particularly burly man. Jaehwan took a step to begin to move, but by then the man had already grabbed the queen by the hair, baring her neck to the filthy knife he was holding and—

Jaehwan turned away, not able to continue to watch the scene that had just unfolded. “We need to run!” he urged, trying to avoid looking around him too much, avoid the carnage the explosion had left behind. Sanghyuk’s eyes were wide and glazed over, tears streaming silently down his face. Jaehwan choked back a sob, his own eyes blurred with tears, for himself and Sanghyuk, for no child should ever witness their parents being murdered in such a way, but that was not the time. Jaehwan shook the prince by the shoulders. “Sanghyuk! We need to leave, now!”

“No, I can’t— I can’t leave them, I have to—” Sanghyuk stuttered, moved as if he wanted to run to his parents’ sides, but Jaehwan held him and thanked the Maker that Sanghyuk was too out of it to use his full strength.

“There’s nothing we can do for them now, we need to move,” Jaehwan said, urgent, and, finally, after a stretch of silence, Sanghyuk let him drag him towards the exit.

For the second time that night Jaehwan cursed himself for wearing those robes - they were gorgeous, yes, but they also made it that more difficult to run. As they were reaching the doors that led to the exit, another crash rang through the chaos when a second explosive was flung in through a window. This time Jaehwan was ready and promptly cast another barrier, eyes closed, eyelids flashing orange when the blast went off.

After that, the sounds of screaming became considerably quieter. Fewer people alive to scream.

“Shit, shit, shit, shit—” Jaehwan muttered under his breath like a mantra, going back to his previous quest to get Sanghyuk to safety. Sanghyuk was still behind him, one hand pressed on his lower back and the other clutching his arm, and the contact worked like a charm to ease his mind enough to keep him grounded, to not let panic take over.

The smell of smoke was overwhelming, the scent of charred flesh, of fresh blood, wafting through the air and making them gag as they tried to maneuver their way outside through the bodies. Jaehwan was trying very, very hard not to look down, to ignore the squelching sounds and the way sometimes his feet would sink into soft substances.

There were people running, people being cut down, the men responsible laughing and hollering in glee as they slaughtered their way to the dance floor.

“Why the fuck didn’t you bring your staff?” Sanghyuk snapped behind him, letting go of Jaehwan in favor of - finally - unsheathing the greatsword from his back.

“Why the ever living fuck would I bring my staff to a ball!?” Jaehwan yelled, stepping back and bumping into Sanghyuk to avoid an arrow that zoomed by alarmingly close to his face. “Fuck!”

“Jaehwan—!”

The warning came too late. Jaehwan had been too shocked by the arrow to take stock of the rest of the things going on around him, so when a man crept around him and shoved a dagger to his side, Jaehwan didn’t try to fight it. He screamed, hot, white pain flowing through his body and bringing him to his knees, trembling all over. He heard Sanghyuk roar - legitimately  _roar_ \- behind him, saw a blur rush by him as the prince moved against Jaehwan’s attacker.

But Jaehwan wasn’t concerned. He didn’t want Sanghyuk to find out like this, but his hand was being forced open and it was time to let his ace drop.

Maker help him.

Jaehwan pushed himself up, legs shaking underneath him, vision dancing, the world swaying, and the bandit who had been somehow managing to dodge every single blow Sanghyuk tried to land on him looked up at him over the prince’s shoulder. The bandit’s grin dropped right out of his face, his eyes went wide.

Jaehwan smiled at the man, an eerie, almost inhuman expression on his face. The blood loss and exertion had made his complexion go pale, crimson blood splatters running down his forehead, his cheeks, blue-grey eyes gleaming with the adrenaline pumping through his veins. Jaehwan touched his wound with his fingertips and brought them up, eye level, grin still on his lips.

“Now that was a bad idea,” Jaehwan advised the man mockingly, and Sanghyuk, not expecting to hear Jaehwan’s voice at all, much less so clear and level, also turned to stare at him, confusion etched into his expression.

Jaehwan made a point not to look at him.

He spread his arms open, palms up, and  _breathed._ Those bandits made it too easy. It took him almost no effort at all, all the energy they had spilled inside the ballroom by killing so many people flowing to him, into him, a concentration of power so intense that Jaehwan felt full with it, whole, _strong._

Sanghyuk’s jaw had gone slack; the bandit was shaking, turning green with fear.

“Bring a bigger knife next time,” Jaehwan grinned wider as he spoke, brought his palms together and pulled them apart like he was tearing an invisible string.

The bandit screamed in pain for a second, and then, just like that, his body was torn to pieces.

Jaehwan dropped to the floor, breathing heavy, the wound on his side stinging but already healing over. He didn’t want to look at Sanghyuk. Wasn’t sure he wanted to know how he would react, what expression he would have on his face.

He pushed himself up, staggering, the energy still coursing through him, and he motioned to Sanghyuk without making eye contact. “Come on, let’s go.”

“Are you alright?” Sanghyuk asked, and the surprise at that question made Jaehwan look up at him, wide-eyed. Sanghyuk’s brand new dragonbone armor was splattered with blood from Jaehwan’s Bandit Explosion Act, and so was Sanghyuk's face, crimson droplets running down his cheeks.

“You’re asking me if I’m alright!?” Jaehwan screeched. Sanghyuk only stared at him as if he’d gone mad.

It didn’t escape Jaehwan’s attention that Sanghyuk’s eyes, still wet with unshed tears, had shifted completely now, pupils slim and vertical, irises bright yellow. When had they changed?

“Are you serious? You just got stabbed!” Sanghyuk said as if it was obvious. “You’re bleeding!”

“Uh, did you not notice what I just did?” Jaehwan felt the need to ask, because that was certainly not the kind of reaction he was expecting. His wound was basically entirely healed by then, the pain now a dim throbbing on his side that would be gone in a few minutes.

The perks of being a blood mage.

Sanghyuk scoffed. “It was kinda hot. Not surprising, though. I always did think you must have had a secret for being so good at everything, blood magic certainly explains it.”

“...I’m going to pretend you didn’t just imply I used blood magic to get where I am, because if I acknowledge what you just said I’m going to tear your dick off your overgrown body with my fucking mind.”

Sanghyuk huffed, amused, and opened his mouth to reply when something caught his attention beyond Jaehwan’s shoulder. “Hey!”

Jaehwan followed Sanghyuk’s line of sight and then Sanghyuk himself once the prince broke into a mad dash, not even realizing why or where were they running at first, taking a few moments to finally locate the source of Sanghyuk’s distress.

The servant, the servant who had stolen Sanghyuk’s brooch, was sprinting out of a side door chasing someone in dark robes, and not far behind them was one of the guards, running after the two other figures. Jaehwan couldn’t even fathom what was going on.

Faintly, Jaehwan heard the ‘servant’ yell out “Hakyeon!”, and that’s when Jaehwan realized that the dancer who had performed last, just minutes before hell had broken loose, had been in the middle of the scuffle himself, a pair of daggers in his hands and blood on his colorful clothes.

The dancer also began running after the servant and those other two, Sanghyuk furiously chasing after them, while Jaehwan tried to get his mind to stop reeling.

The next time he attended a party, he would definitely bring his staff.

 

✶✶✶

 

Hakyeon was nervous when the night began. He was nervous all the way from going to Castrum Draconis, through his outfit change, while he went over the routine in his mind and stretched before his performance.

The moment he stepped into the ballroom, though, his mind was quiet.

That’s how it was for him whenever he performed - being on stage was as easy as breathing to Hakyeon. He loved dancing and he loved showing the world what he could do, he lived for the way people’s attention all turned to him and only him, the expression of wonder on their faces. It made his hard work worthwhile, it made every injury, every fall, every stumble count. It was gratifying to know that all the praise he’d achieved, he had achieved on his own merit. He had a dream, he chased it, and he made it real.

He liked to believe he’d learned to dance before he learned to walk, following the sway of the ocean waves when his mother took him to the beach to play. There was motion in everything - the sea, the clouds, the wind. All he did growing up was follow that motion, learn to move with it, create a harmony. The techniques came later, far later, but dancing was etched into his very soul from the moment he took his first breath.

Hakyeon wasn’t intimidated by the audience, had no fear in meeting the king’s gaze or the queen’s, boldly making eye contact several times during his routine.

When he danced, he was the one holding all the power.

The only thing making him jittery was Hongbin. And as much as he trusted Hongbin not to do anything _too_ foolish, he knew to expect the unexpected - no plan, no matter how well thought out, ever went completely according to what you had in mind. There were many factors that could cause their entire strategy to crumble like a castle made of sand, factors that they never even considered, and Hongbin was known to get a little… Dagger-happy. Nothing ever put a smile on Hongbin’s face quite like stabbing something did.

But it would be fine. They had a plan and Hongbin’s job, whatever it was, seemed to be of the non-lethal variety. It would all be alright.

Hakyeon firmly believed that up until the moment when, while spinning, he caught sight of Hongbin talking to the crown prince. The  _prince_. If his target was really the prince, if they were caught in whatever misadventure Hongbin got himself involved in, they would be in a world of trouble.

And yes, Hakyeon said ‘they’ because he wouldn’t let Hongbin go down on his own. Stupid, perhaps, but loyalty wasn’t something Hakyeon liked to toss around mindlessly.

Hongbin wasn’t one to break promises, not to Hakyeon, at least. Hongbin said he had everything under control, so Hakyeon did his best to ignore that little voice in the back of his mind telling him to watch his back and just kept on dancing. That’s what he was there for. That was all he was there for.

Just to dance. All he had to do was dance.

That was the deal.

Besides, Hakyeon wasn’t stupid; he liked seeing the best in people instead of the ugly, yes, but he had been a raider for years. He saw the worst people could do, _be_ , and he learned from those experiences to always be ready for trouble. To not let himself be caught unawares, defenseless, helpless.

He carried his daggers wherever he went, and while performing it was no different - his blades were there, carefully hidden inside his boots, in the sheaths he’d put in there himself, sharpened and ready.

Hakyeon wanted to trust Hongbin, he did, he wanted to trust him so badly, but he just knew that something would go wrong. Something  _always_ goes wrong. When someone says nothing will go wrong, that’s when everything goes wrong, and Hongbin said nothing would go wrong. Several times, in fact, during the past week, Hongbin said nothing would go wrong.

It was a one plus one situation.

Then there was the matter with that guardsman. The way Hongbin was acting after speaking to the man was odd by itself, but that he went as far as to contacting him in the first place was more than enough for Hakyeon to know that there was history there, history he was not - yet - privy to. A past lover, perhaps? Unlikely, considering how Hongbin had left Nevarra when he was around twelve years of age. An innocent childhood romance, then. First love? First kiss? Those seemed the more accurate assumptions, considering Hongbin’s behavior. His fixation with that guard.

That and the defensive way he’d reacted when Hakyeon teased him about it, how Hongbin’s walls just seemed to go up in a blink to protect him from the subject. It had all been very unlike Hongbin. It was… Vulnerable. The Hongbin Hakyeon knew wasn’t vulnerable - he didn’t allow himself to be vulnerable.

He made a mental note to try asking him about it during their travel back to Cumberland; with some prodding, Hongbin would maybe open up to him about his past, his relationship with the guard. He would even open with a line such as ‘ _Sooo, that guardsman was pretty cute_ ’, because— well, he  _was_ cute.

He could almost see Hongbin glaring at him after hearing the comment.

Not the time to think about it, though; he was in the middle of a performance, and that’s where his focus should be.

He spun, arms outstretched, fingertips reaching out, before he graciously lowered himself to the floor, the red veils on his hands falling on the ground beside him. That part of the choreography was slower, more drawn out, so Hakyeon took the chance to watch his surroundings carefully as he moved his arms languidly, painting pictures on the marble flooring with the veils.

Hongbin was rapidly leaving the ballroom through a discreet side door, so Hakyeon assumed his friend had completed his task and after he finished his performance, they could leave. Good. Hakyeon was ready to leave. Nevarra gave him the creeps.

All he had to do was finish dancing, find Hongbin, and get out of Castrum Draconis. That was all. It should be simple enough.

Andraste, please let it be that simple.

The moment the thought crossed his mind, Hakyeon caught a shadow rushing by one of the windows from the corner of his eyes, the size of it similar to that of a bird. He was immediately reminded of that odd raven he’d seen the night before, on the rooftop of the hostel. The ominous one.

Were he not in the middle of performing to a king, he would have shuddered.

The bird - presumably, raven - was soon followed by another small, bird-like shadow, and then a third one, this one much larger, person-sized, and that— _that_ was when Hakyeon knew.

Things were about to go wrong.

He was in the middle of a performance and things were about to go wrong.

Not succumbing to panic was not an easy feat, but Hakyeon was a professional - he would finish his number, because what if he was just being paranoid and there was no danger to be nervous about? Then he would just make a fool of himself and lose his credibility with potential patrons. No, he had to see his performance through as if nothing was amiss.

Damn Hongbin and his secretive ways - for his sake, Hakyeon chose one of his longer routines to give his friend the time to do whatever it was he had to do, and Hongbin went and got it done less than two minutes into the number.

His entire routine amounted to about seven minutes. He had already covered three of those seven minutes, which left him with four more minutes to go.

Four minutes, just four minutes. Hakyeon focused on breathing through his choreography, focused on clearing his mind of anything that wasn’t dancing, that wasn’t moving.

Three minutes. Hakyeon could feel all the eyes of the court on him, different expressions of awe and wonder on each of their faces. Even the prince was now watching him with rapt attention, the queen leaning forward in her seat, the king barely blinking. He could do this. He could see his number through.

Two minutes. This was where the choreography became more intense, faster, his movements shorter and more powerful. There were more jumps, more acrobatics, it required much more focus, so Hakyeon gave in to it, gave in to the routine he’d done thousands of times before, put all his thoughts into it instead of in the gnawing panic growing in his gut.

One minute. Nothing had happened yet, but Hakyeon still felt uneasy. Something wasn’t right. He wished he could stop to explore that sensation further, find out if it was just his nerves playing tricks on him or if that feeling had a reason to be, but the climax of his routine was about to happen and he had to focus.

The sequence of movements came easy to him, familiar to the point he could do it in his sleep. The veils in his hands flew around him, creating patterns in the air with each motion of his arms. The court was still enraptured. It was almost over; he could do this.

The finale consisted of a series of rapid spins, his arms outstretched creating waves with the veils as he moved. Almost over, almost. Spin, he just had to hold on for a few seconds longer. Spin, then he would go find Hongbin. Spin, he would find Hongbin and drag him away if he had to. Spin, then he would leave Nevarra and return to the peaceful life he’d made for himself. Spin. No more heists and capers. Spin. No more life-threatening consequences. Spin. Just peace. Spin. And quiet. Spin. Spin. Spin, spin, spin.

Hakyeon suddenly dropped to the ground on his knees, arm stretched sideways, palms pressing to the floor, head bent. The final pose. Hakyeon closed his eyes, forehead touching the marble and the cold surface worked wonders on his nerves.

It was over. It was over and everything was alright.

A wave of roaring applause invaded his ears and Hakyeon took a second to feel proud of himself, a smile spreading across his face. He did it, he saw his number through and nothing happened.

Everything was fine.

Schooling his face back into neutrality, Hakyeon rose to his feet in a graceful motion, bowing once to each direction of the room - and deeper when facing the king and queen - before he turned on his heels and began walking off. The applause slowly died down as he left the dancefloor, the royal musicians promptly replacing the sound with their instruments.

It was over.

He could barely believe it.

Now all he had to do was go find Hongbin and leave that place, before his fears became a reality and something happened to disturb the peace. Yes, that was easy enough to accomplish.

...That is, it  _would_ be, if Hakyeon wasn’t immediately swarmed by a group of nobles wishing to shake his hand and congratulate him for his performance.

Yes, at any other moment he would be thrilled to be showered in compliments and would want nothing else but to bask in the attention and praise, but that was not the time, it couldn’t be the worst time. He couldn’t even excuse himself and dodge them because of that fear of being wrong, of no danger being actually afoot, and if he was wrong then he would be losing potential employers, losing patrons and money and credibility. He had to be friendly and approachable, professional. That meant standing there and accepting every compliment, answering every question, being polite.

So Hakyeon didn’t run, didn’t make excuses to cut the interactions short. He listened attentively and responded accordingly, smiled and made pleasant conversation. All the while, he was talking himself down from the mild anxiety storming inside him, and thanks to the distraction provided by the nobles, he managed that fairly fast.

It was the moment Hakyeon convinced himself he was being paranoid and that nothing would happen, that it did; he couldn’t even bring himself to yell a big ‘I told you so!’ to the universe.

He was speaking to a noblewoman in an outrageous hat who was showering him with praises for his performance, when he saw, over the woman’s shoulder, a sudden movement in the upper level of the ballroom where the king and queen were sitting. He thought it was just a servant at first, approaching to refill the king’s wine - the person was wearing the same clothes as the other servants, at least - but upon leaning forward to, presumably, fill the king’s cup, the person slipped a dagger from the inside of their sleeve and in a swift, precise motion, slashed the king’s throat from side to side.

Hakyeon’s stomach sunk, his blood turned to ice in his veins.

That was  _so_ not what he’d signed up for.

The queen noticed what happened to her husband about two seconds after when the monarch’s limp body slumped to the side and fell to the ground, her immediate reaction being a scream so pained Hakyeon felt his heart break in her stead; the person responsible had already disappeared, and one of the doors behind the table was opening and through them a group of large, vicious-looking men were pouring in. From their ragged clothing and rustic weapons, those men seemed to be common bandits; grunts. Probably hired by someone else.

Cursing under his breath, Hakyeon did the only thing he could think to do and slid his daggers off their hidden sheaths. The woman he’d been speaking with had long since ran away to try and escape the same fate that had befallen their king, but Hakyeon thought that, maybe, he should try to help. Trying to help would likely reduce any sentence coming his way, at least.

He dropped all his prop veils as he dashed around the edges of the room, making his way to the flight of stairs that led to the upper level. Hakyeon had just reached the top step when he heard the sound of glass shattering a ways behind him, closer to the side where most of the mayhem was happening, and turned around to take stock of the situation; the window had broken inwardly, which meant whatever was tossed against it, came from the outside.

Throwing rocks during what was shaping up to be a slaughter wasn’t the best way to kill anyone, much less a number of people. So, obviously, it wasn’t a rock.

Sighing, because, really, he did _not_ sign up for that bullshit, Hakyeon rushed to hide himself behind the nearest pillar - honestly, he didn’t ever think he would be back into that type of mess, his raider days were long over and so were the dangerous capers that tended to end with him having to run for his life.

All he had to do was dance! Just dance! Hongbin would get an earful when he decided to show up, Hakyeon would make him give him at _least_ 60% of the payment for the job.

By the time the explosive went off, Hakyeon was in the middle of grumbling to himself like a grouchy old man, the shock that rippled through the ballroom the only thing that managed to make him shut up and remember that he had to kill a few mercenaries. And where in the Maker’s name was Hongbin!?

If he went after that guardsman, Hakyeon would rip off Hongbin’s spine and force it down his throat.

Hakyeon rushed ahead, not taking long at all to reach the closest bandit who, lucky him, had his back turned. All Hakyeon had to do was sink his blade at the base of the man’s neck, where it met his shoulder, the flesh giving way easily like he’d been slicing a piece of butter. The man went down with a gurgle, but Hakyeon didn’t linger to see the results, he just kept moving forward, eyes searching for his next target.

In times like that Hakyeon found it a pity that he didn’t have an audience; as much as he disliked having to use violence so thoughtlessly, Hakyeon was known to be as graceful fighting as he was dancing. In fact, he had combined both into a unique fighting style that once had made him notorious amongst raider duelists. The lack of a known technique made him mostly unpredictable to his adversaries, his diversity of movements was distracting, and the agility and flexibility he’d conquered with dancing made it possible for him to perform difficult combos of attack and facilitated dodging the vast majority of blows his enemies could try to land on him.

Everything moves, everything sways, everything can be a dance.

Fighting was just dancing with daggers.

Hakyeon continued forward, and this time two bandits came rushing towards him, large, bloodstained swords on their hands. Hakyeon increased his speed, noting the angle of the men’s swords to try and predict where they would try to strike at him; they both seemed to be aiming for his upper body, one obviously with his sights set on his neck, the other on his abdomen.

Hakyeon didn’t hesitate, running ahead and waiting until the very last moment before he leaned his body completely back, sliding forward on the marble floor on his knees between both men. The bandits' swords slashed the air where Hakyeon would be, and as he passed by their legs, the dancer raised both daggers to slice just under the two men’s kneecaps. The bandits howled in pain and stumbled, one of them falling on his good knee, and Hakyeon took the chance while they were distracted to turn around and get up, rushing them from behind. The first men, still standing but bent forward examining his knee, was pierced in the back of the neck by Hakyeon’s dagger and immediately fell forward, twitching on the floor. The second, Hakyeon finished with a precise slice across the throat.

If he had to resort to violence, he would at least be quick about it.

A second explosion caused Hakyeon to lose his footing, and he crawled away to hide behind the nearest pillar to avoid the flying debris. His anger towards Hongbin was slowly turning to concern - where was his friend? Was he injured, dead? Why wasn’t he back?

Once the fragments of wood and stone - and, _ugh,_   _people_ \- stopped falling from above, Hakyeon left his cover and began moving back the way he’d come, now intent of going to find Hongbin. Whatever was going in the ballroom, whoever those people were, this was beyond Hakyeon’s ability to help if the previously pristine white marble flooring coated in crimson was any indication.

He was almost reaching the side door through which Hongbin had disappeared, located near the tall double doors of the entrance to the ballroom - that were now closed from where they’d been wide open before - when another outlaw approached him from the side, forcing Hakyeon to stop so he could defend himself.

Hakyeon easily blocked the first blow with one of his daggers, but this bandit seemed much better trained than the previous ones he’d killed. His footwork was better, for one, and his strikes more precise as opposed to the wild swinging the ones he’d encountered before did. It made no difference, in the end - that man was still no match for Hakyeon. The bandit thrust his sword forward like a spear, obviously aiming to pierce Hakyeon with it, but Hakyeon easily spun away to the side and hit the man’s wrist with the flat side of his dagger. That caused the outlaw to almost lose his grip, and the dancer took that chance to get behind him, puncturing the man under the arm in a swift strike. The bandit now completely lost the grip on his sword, the metal clattering on the marble, and, like the last man he’d killed, Hakyeon sliced this man’s throat as well, quick and precise.

Those men weren’t skilled fighters, they seemed to never have faced someone who was actually trained in battle; they were just killers. Killers that would stand no chance against someone with basic knowledge of swordplay. Whoever hired them, they were there to kill those who were defenseless to protect themselves, meaning literally every noble in attendance.

Hakyeon sighed as he kicked his latest foe on the middle of his back so he would finish falling to the ground faster. That didn’t sound like a random act of violence or revenge. It sounded like a coup.

What was Hongbin involved with?

Hakyeon began to turn to continue on his way to find his increasingly more suspicious friend, when a wave of red splatters hit him, the sound of something wet and fleshy blowing up making him cringe. Did— Did someone just blow someone up on his pretty stage outfit?

Hakyeon gagged, wiping the side of his face with one hand and almost spilling the contents of his stomach on the floor when he felt a chunk of flesh hit his finger.

“Ew, ew, ew, ew—” Hakyeon shook himself, frantically trying to scrub away any -  _ew_ \- people bits from his arms and chest and neck.

That was not the plan, that was not the plan by a long shot, nowhere in Hongbin’s deal was mentioned that he would be covered in human entrails at any point during the night. Or ever.

Once he judged himself less coated in the flesh of the poor sod who just became confetti, Hakyeon started to turn around to continue on his merry way, at the exact moment the side door opened, giving way to a hooded figure running at top speed followed by—

Hakyeon immediately felt relieved to see Hongbin, alive and in one piece, but the relief was short lived for Hongbin quickly spotted him there, not stopping on his chase.

“Hakyeon!”

Hongbin’s voice had Hakyeon immediately turning around to follow, and he vaguely registered that the prince and his Arcane Advisor - who stuck out like a sore thumb in those bright red robes - were also following his friend. Hakyeon tried to ignore the fact that the guardsman was there too, participating in the chase, and focused on Hongbin.

“Grab him!” Hongbin shouted at Hakyeon, pointing ahead at the person in a dark traveling cape, its hood up covering their face, and Hakyeon, cursing Hongbin in thoughts as a rehearsal so he could curse Hongbin out loud later, sped up and sprinted after the hooded stranger.

Out of those running, Hakyeon was by far the fastest, not only because he had more stamina from dancing, but also because his clothes were the lightest, no clanky chunks of metal to slow him down. He easily overtook Hongbin, even after having to dodge straggler nobles trying to escape and jump over bodies and debris, putting himself directly behind the stranger. The person didn’t even glance behind as they ran, cape flurrying wildly behind them, and Hakyeon barely had time to realize what the stranger was about to do before they’d done it.

Dashing ahead faster to gather more impulse, the stranger jumped against the window, using their feet to break it without hurting themselves. They fell down the two stories to the ground below, tumbling forward once before they got up and continued to run. Hakyeon hesitated when faced with the height and the rain of glass shards, but the moment they stopped falling he jumped off the window, rolling forward to lessen the impact on his legs, and began running again, the stranger having gained a little distance now.

They had fallen in what seemed to be a patio, a white round fountain gently trickling down water like everything wasn’t crashing and burning around it. Hakyeon easily spotted the stranger running ahead down a stone path, which Hakyeon could only consider odd: the stranger could have deviated from the path to throw their pursuers off, but there they were, following the path neatly. Hakyeon didn’t want to admit that even to himself because, whoever that person was, they were supposed to be the enemy, but— Well.

It was kind of cute.

Hakyeon stomped that thought down the moment it formed inside his head and focused on the chase instead, finally covering some of the distance that separated them when the stranger had a bit of trouble leaping over a hidden little side gate that led outside, the hem of their cape getting tangled on a protruding nail. Hakyeon, again, found it cute.

With far more ease than their adorable foe, Hakyeon jumped over the gate and, taking a couple of steps more for the momentum, leaped towards the stranger, crashing onto to their back and causing them both to fall ungracefully to the ground.

The stranger rolled over, trying to get Hakyeon off of them, but Hakyeon quickly trapped them by placing one knee at each side of their middle, bringing one of his daggers up to their—  _His_ throat.

Hakyeon looked down into a pair of dark, feline eyes once the hood that covered them fell back. He took notice of the shape of his ears - an elf - and the white markings on the bridge of his nose and forehead - a Dalish elf. His skin was moonkissed, pale, and his hair jet black and long, spread around his head like a halo. He couldn’t see the lower half of his face for he had a bandana covering it, but Hakyeon felt— Strange.

The elf looked up at him, head tilted slightly back to avoid the blade placed near his neck, but Hakyeon saw no fear in his eyes. He saw defiance, amusement.

That night was getting weirder and weirder.

They stared at one another for a few heartbeats, both panting with the exertion of running all the way there, measuring each other silently.

“Who are you?” Hakyeon asked in a whisper, but the elf didn’t answer; just stared.

Hakyeon huffed, suddenly aggravated by the quiet stranger, and was just about to start giving him a piece of his mind when the elf whistled, a single, high pitched note that startled Hakyeon and almost caused him to fall back.

He didn’t fall, not with the start the whistling gave him, at least.

He  _did_ fall, however, when a raven materialized before him seemingly out of nowhere and flapped its wings at his face. Hakyeon squawked, leaning back and waving his hands wildly in front of him trying to get that damn bird off his face, that brief distraction more than enough for the elf to push himself up to a sitting position. The motion finished what the bird had started and Hakyeon’s back hit the ground, not losing the grip he had on his daggers only because he wasn’t  _that_ out of it.

Served him right for getting distracted by a pair of pretty eyes.

The elf was now looming over him with the damn raven perched on his shoulder, his frame silhouetted by the blue light of the streetlamps above him, and it almost seemed to Hakyeon he was being faced by a creature of legend. Even with his long hair, tied up in a half ponytail, a mess, that elf was stunning, almost ethereal, an effect likely caused by the white markings on his face and his pale skin, his eyes catching the lights like a cat’s. Hongbin’s eyes did that too, that thing where they reflected the light and seemed to glow, but this elf’s eyes seemed to glow much brighter than Hongbin’s ever did. Hakyeon wonder if that had to do with that elf being Dalish.

Hongbin— Where  _was_ Hongbin anyway?

Hakyeon squirmed trying to get away from the elf, who wasn’t doing much to stop him. He still seemed to be wary, on alert, but it was more defensive than something threatening, and Hakyeon wasn’t sure if he should be concerned or curious as to the elf’s odd behavior.

Finally, Hakyeon heard the heavy, rushed footsteps of someone he assumed - hoped - to be Hongbin. The elf glanced up and, in a quick motion, raised himself back to his feet and unclasped his cape, letting it fall to the ground so he could slide off the bow he had strapped around his shoulder, pulling an arrow from the quiver at his back in a practiced motion and readying a shot aimed at the newcomers.

Hakyeon scrambled to turn around and see who it was, relieved to see Hongbin just landing on the outside of the gate. Hongbin took a few careful steps forward upon seeing the arrow aimed at him, but his eyes were on the Dalish’s all the while.

Expression deceptively calm, Hongbin raised both hands, still walking towards the Dalish. “Alright, just give me back my pouch and nobody needs to get hurt.”

Hakyeon took the chance the elf’s attention wasn’t on him anymore and got up, glaring daggers at Hongbin. “What the fuck is going on, Hongbin?”

“Not the time, Yeonie,” Hongbin told him through his teeth, not sparing Hakyeon a glance as he was still more concerned with the arrow ready to pierce him.

The Dalish’s attention then shifted to something behind Hongbin’s shoulder, even if his arrow was still pointing at the other elf. Hakyeon followed the Dalish’s gaze in time to see none other than the crown prince jumping over the fence easily, like he’d done it several times before, and immediately tackling Hongbin to the ground.

“Give it back!” the prince demanded, voice sounding almost like a growl, as Hongbin hit the ground with a muffled  _oof_.

At the same time, Hongbin’s guardsman also skipped past the gate and moved to hold the prince back. The prince fought and squirmed like an angry animal, trying to get at Hongbin somehow while continuously demanding to have his belonging returned. Hakyeon had no idea what that was.

And lastly came the prince’s Arcane Advisor, who, unlike everyone else, simply unlatched the gate and opened it so he could pass, instead of jumping over it. The mage seemed much more winded than the others, one hand pressing his side as if he had a cramp.

“Sanghyuk, have you gone mad!?” the advisor asked, joining the guardsman in trying to contain the prince.

“Let me go, Jaehwan, _let me go!"_ the prince roared the order and the mage seemed to become more agitated at the sound of his voice, one step away from being entirely animalistic.

“Sanghyuk, you need to stop, you’re losing control!”

Hakyeon felt like he’d fallen headfirst into a different dimension where nothing made sense.  

Hakyeon, his expression the textbook definition of ‘confused’, chanced a look at the Dalish elf, who had lowered his bow and was also watching the scene with a quizzical frown. The Dalish raised his eyes to meet Hakyeon’s, both exchanging a questioning glance like one was asking the other what was happening.

It was almost like they weren’t fighting like children two minutes prior.

Hongbin took the opportunity to get up and away from the prince, his attention again turning to the Dalish who promptly looked away from Hakyeon and raised his bow again.

“Give me my fucking pouch back right now!” Hongbin demanded, and Hakyeon thought better to interfere before someone else got hurt.

Taking advantage of the Dalish’s gaze being locked on Hongbin, Hakyeon rushed him from the side and laced an arm around his neck, placing a dagger at his throat from the second time that night. “Lower your bow.”

Dalish stiffened at the words and, begrudgingly, did as Hakyeon ordered and slowly lowered and loosened the string of his bow. The Dalish was a little taller than Hakyeon, a couple of centimeters, but not enough to make that position uncomfortable for him. Well, not entirely, because the elf’s long hair tickled his nose a little bit.

Looking over the Dalish’s shoulder to Hongbin, Hakyeon barked, “What in Andraste’s name is happening, Hongbin?”

Hongbin opened his mouth to answer, but the prince growled in rage behind them, having successfully gotten free from both his advisor and the guard’s grip. Hongbin promptly put himself en guard, but the guardsman interrupted anything by yelling, “Everybody stop right this second or I’m arresting every single person here!”

“With whose authority!?” the advisor asked, looking thoroughly offended. “That is the Crown Prince of Nevarra!”

The guardsman ducked his head. “N-not the prince, I meant everyone but the prince.”

“And I’m his Arcane Advisor, you cannot arrest me without sanction from the prince!”

“Not— Not you as well, sir mage.”

“Enough!” the prince roared, causing his advisor and the guard to flinch. Hongbin stood his ground, eyeing the crown prince warily, while Hakyeon tried to pay attention both on the scene unfolding before him and on not letting the Dalish elf in his arms escape. “You.” The prince turned to Hongbin. “Give me back the brooch you’ve stolen.”

Hongbin scoffed and pointed over his shoulder with his thumb at the Dalish elf. “Wood elf has it.”

“Don’t fucking play with me right now,” the prince said, to then rush ahead and grab Hongbin by the throat, not strong enough to kill but strong enough to make him gasp with pain.

Hakyeon jolted, unsure if he should go help his friend or stay put, but the Dalish made the decision for him by putting an arm out in front of Hakyeon, silently telling not to interfere. Hakyeon decided to trust him that one time; if it turned out that the prince actually did intend to kill Hongbin, then Hakyeon would spring into action.

“Give me the brooch back,” the prince demanded again, firmer, his voice lower, more dangerous.

“Sanghyuk, stop—” the advisor stepped forward and Sanghyuk turned back to face him, bright yellow eyes wet with tears.

“It was the last thing she gave me, Jaehwan!”

The advisor seemed to have been glued in place, frozen like a statue, eyes wide. Then, as if getting a hold of himself, he exhaled slowly. “Losing control will get you nowhere, you know that. Now, please, let go of the thieving rat’s neck, will you?”

“Jaehwan—”

“ _Now,_ ” Jaehwan repeated, firm, and Sanghyuk, breathing heavily, slowly let go of Hongbin’s neck, one finger at the time as if he had to force himself to do it.

Hongbin staggered backwards, coughing and shielding his neck with both hands. The guardsman was at his side at the blink of an eye, obviously making sure Hongbin was alright. Hakyeon had to make a conscious effort not to roll his eyes.

“Alright, now let’s all take a moment to breathe and calm down so we can solve this matter peac—” Jaehwan started saying, but was interrupted by a loud explosion and a bright flash of orange.

They all turned towards the castle at the same time, finding that the ballroom and the entire wing where it was located had gone up flames.

“No, no, no—” the guard muttered, leaving Hongbin’s side to move ahead, clearly meaning to go back inside, but Hongbin held him by the arm.

“Wonshik—!”

“Jimin is in there, I have to make sure she’s alright!” Wonshik said, trying to yank his arm free.

“I don’t think you’ll find her right now,” Jaehwan said, expression lax as he stared at the flames, “or ever.”

“Wonshik, you have to let her go, there’s nothing you can do for her now,” Hongbin said under his breath, and Wonshik turned to him and pushed him away with both hands with much more strength than necessary.

“And whose fault is that!?” Wonshik screamed at Hongbin, who looked stricken at the words thrown at him. “If you hadn’t come back none of this would have happened!”

Hakyeon felt dizzy with the amount of things happening at the same time, but he was still present enough to notice how the Dalish elf had shifted against him, staring off to their right intensely. Hakyeon followed the elf’s gaze and whimpered softly. “Uhm, guys?”

He didn’t have to call them twice as all of them now noticed the approaching group of dark-robed people - the  _very large and menacing_ group of dark-robed people. He could spot a few of the same mercenaries who had been killing people in the castle, and it made sense since that’s where they were coming from, likely to finish the job. Hakyeon promptly let go of the elf, who had raised his bow again but was now aiming at the approaching group, both of them taking slow steps back to distance themselves from it.

“Ok, how about a truce, just while we run for our lives?” Jaehwan suggested, also moving away from the robed people.

“Sounds super,” Hongbin agreed, and that was all it took.

“Run!” Sanghyuk yelled and all six of them immediately turned around, sprinting down the streets.

“This way!” Hongbin screamed and took the lead, and none of them questioned, obediently following him out of the main streets and into a dark alley that stretched ahead for what seemed like forever.

Hakyeon could hear, feel the vibration of the footfalls of the bandits and robed men under his own feet, and it filled him with terror. That was absolutely not what he’d signed up for, all he had to was dance, not run through the dark streets of Nevarra City to escape a bunch of weirdos in black robes.

Hongbin turned abruptly into a tiny side passage, too narrow for more than one person to enter at the same time, and the group dutifully fell into a line to enter, the Dalish elf ushering Hakyeon ahead of him so he could take the rear, walking backwards and shooting arrows at any man who tried to follow them.

Hakyeon didn’t want to admit, but he was pretty grateful for that. He was great with daggers, sure, but he was absolute shit with a bow, something that couldn’t be said about the Dalish. Looking back behind his shoulder, Hakyeon saw the Dalish shoot one, two, three bandits down, each of them hit somewhere on their faces or neck, that elf’s aim deadly and precise and— Not the time to admire the silent Dalish elf’s archery skills. Right.

The men the elf managed to kill served to at least block the passage and slow down the rest of their pursuers. They soon reached the end of the narrow passage and Hongbin lead them down a steep street, the angle giving them a boost as gravity did its work and they trampled down the hilly road. Hakyeon could hear faint screams from the streets beyond, see the glow of light, fire, smoke filtering up the night sky above the buildings. The entire city was in chaos.

“What the fuck is going on!?” Hakyeon snapped, voice loud and desperate as he kept running, the Dalish now in step with him at his side.

“Run now, question later!” Wonshik yelled back and they finally arrived at the end of the hill.

The momentum wasn’t fully gone, however, and they couldn’t stop themselves before hitting the wall, first Hongbin, who had been leading, then the rest of the group crashing onto his back. He let out a small  _oof_ and groaned, Wonshik helping him stabilize himself, before he stumbled to yet another side street and kept running. The group followed, not as fast thanks to their little bump, but with the same determination.

They entered a decrypt, run down alleyway next, and they weren’t even halfway through it when Jaehwan shouted, “Watch out!”

Hakyeon almost slipped on the muddy pavement with the sudden stop, immediately hunching down with the others to protect himself. There was a loud crash, a whooshing sound, and screams, but Hakyeon felt nothing and none of his new companions seemed wounded. Looking up, he found himself and the rest of the group protected by a shimmering shield. The mage had cast a barrier.

“ _Crapcrapcrapcrapcrap—_ ” Jaehwan kept muttering under his breath.

“Jaehwan, what the fuck!?” Sanghyuk asked, grabbing Jaehwan’s sleeve like a lost child would hold onto their parents after a fright.

“Archers on the rooftop, fuck, fuck, _fuck,_ ” Jaehwan replied, looking up wildly, his chest heaving rapidly, his hands still held up to keep the barrier from fading, but Hakyeon could see his arms shaking with the strain. “They’re templars, they’re fucking templars, I can’t— They’re dispelling my— Ugh.”

Another wave of arrows rained down upon them, and Jaehwan trembled and fell to his knees, still managing to keep the barrier up. Sanghyuk tried to help him stand, but Jaehwan didn’t seem to have any strength left in him. Jaehwan then looked behind him at the prince. “Sanghyuk, you’re pretty mad at the world at large right now, right?” Even his voice sounded strained, trembling.

“Fuck yeah, I’m very mad,” Sanghyuk snapped back as if it was obvious, not having given up on getting Jaehwan on his feet even if it was useless.

“Awesome, be a dear and put that anger to good use by stabbing me, will you?” Jaehwan asked, and Sanghyuk’s eyes went wide.

“You’re not telling me to—”

“ _Do it!_ ”

There was an implicit command in the mage’s voice, and Sanghyuk barked a curse and turned around to grab a dagger from Wonshik’s belt. Wonshik’s only reaction was a delayed ‘hey!’, but it was too late: Sanghyuk had already sunk the dagger into the meat of Jaehwan’s arm.

Jaehwan cried out and fell silent, but Hakyeon could  _feel_ the energy crackling around them. The entire group froze, watching Jaehwan without moving.

The barrier was gone and Jaehwan’s eyes were now glowing red, turned skywards. Hakyeon’s own eyes went wide with shock and he stumbled back, hitting the front of the Dalish elf who placed a hand on his shoulder to keep him upright. Hakyeon wasn’t sure how he felt about that.

“Run, I’ll cover you,” Jaehwan said, and Sanghyuk shook his head.

“No, Jaehwan, I’m not leaving you alone, I—”

“I’ll be fine, Sanghyuk,” Jaehwan promised, and added in a lower, secretive voice. “Take them to the Necropolis, I’ll meet you there.”

“Jaehwan—”

“ _Go._ ”

Sanghyuk hesitated a couple of heartbeats longer, but finally, cursing under his breath, began running again as the rest of the group silently followed. Hakyeon didn’t stop to look behind him even when the sounds of screams rang out behind them into the cold air of the night.

 

✶

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'M SORRY AGSFDAHGFH  
> oh boy, this was a hard chapter to write
> 
> BUT HEY, LOOK AT [THIS BEAUTIFUL JAEHWAN TAROT CARD](https://kimwabi.tumblr.com/post/176684216409/jaehwans-dragon-age-tarot-card-for-ghostlike91)!!! @ kimwabi on tumblr: you are amazing <3
> 
> i hope this chapter wasn't as confusing to read as it was for me to write it ;^;  
> i am currently working on that lore guide i've mentioned last time, so any questions you might have, you can ask me through the comments here, or on my [twitter](https://twitter.com/ghostlike91) or if you prefer to do it anonymously, on [tumblr](https://ghostlike91.tumblr.com/)~ i've got a few questions these past few days and let me tell you, i LOVE answering them, so if you think you'd be bothering me, trust me: you would Not Be, i love your questions and comments, i love any and all interest on my fic, so by all means, ask away! <3
> 
> as always thank you all for the kudos and comments, they mean the world to me <3  
> i'll try not to take long with chapter 4!


	4. Merry Band of Strangers

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> before anything i'd like to make it clear that i have no idea what the grand necropolis looks like or if there are actually catacombs under nevarra city, it just made sense to me!! (and yes, they are totally inspired the catacombs of paris)
> 
> warnings for blood, self-harm and potty-mouthedness, though the latter is pretty much a warning for every chapter here on out
> 
> enjoy!

✶

 

Jaehwan was taking a while to join them and Hakyeon was about to snap at Sanghyuk, who kept anxiously pacing from side to side, sitting down for a few moments while hugging his knees, to then get back up and start pacing again. Sanghyuk’s eyes had long since returned to their natural brown, but he was still very clearly on edge - which was the only reason why Hakyeon hadn’t told him to sit down and stay still.

Hongbin was leaning on the wall next to Hakyeon, arms crossed and a sour expression on his face, shifting his death glares from Sanghyuk, to the Dalish, and finally to Wonshik, where his eyes would linger for a considerable amount of time before he started the rotation over.

Wonshik, sitting with his back against the wall a few paces away, keeping himself slightly apart from the group, was staring blankly ahead. Hakyeon could almost see the effort the guard was making not to look towards Hongbin; and he could also see the effort Wonshik seemed to be making not to cry. The wetness in his eyes betrayed the effort, however.

And the Dalish was sitting on the ground with his creepy raven perched on his shoulder, looking around with mild curiosity and not doing much to try and escape - Hakyeon wasn’t sure if it was because he was there keeping an eye on the elf, or if the elf just… Didn’t want to run away. It was suspicious, suspicious enough for Hakyeon to think that the Dalish was perhaps involved with the robed people somehow, or maybe even behind the entire coup, but that didn’t make sense since… Well. Dalish. Why would a Dalish elf want to get mixed up with human affairs?

Moreover, the elf still hadn’t said a single word and neither had he removed the bandana covering his face. Those two things certainly didn’t help with making the elf seem less suspicious.

...Unless he was mute. In that case, Hakyeon would apologize for making assumptions.

Hakyeon shuddered and hugged his own arms, shrinking into himself as much as he could to fight off the cold. He was still in his stage outfit, which was made of very fine fabrics not made to keep him warm, and the poor clothes were ripped in several places only to make it even easier for the gelid wind to get through. His body was aching, his legs were sore, he was covered in bruises and his mind was still reeling from all the events of that night.

It had started as something so simple. Just a ball. Just a dance. Ordinary things. Now there he was, with blood on his once lovely stage outfit, surrounded by strangers - and Hongbin - and waiting on a blood mage while standing by the sturdy walls that surrounded the Grand Necropolis: The Creepiest Place In The Face Of The Planet.

Of all the places in Nevarra where he could be, it  _had_ to be the Grand Necropolis. That was likely the last place in all of Thedas he wanted to be; it didn’t help that from time to time he could hear the eerie wailing and moaning of the undead that resided inside.

He shuddered again, this time not for the cold.

Hongbin noticed the motion, subtle as it was, and turned to Hakyeon. His death glare was gone as if never there, expression softening into what seemed to be regret.

“You alright?” Hongbin asked in a quiet voice. “You’re covered in blood.”

Hakyeon gave his friend a little smile that was meant to be comforting. “It’s not mine. Someone blew up on me.”

One of Hongbin’s eyebrows shot up at that. “Blew up on you?”

“Yes.”

“As in, _exploded?”_

“Sorry, that was probably me.”

Hakyeon shrieked at the sudden voice next to him and jumped back towards Hongbin, the mage, Jaehwan, just standing by his side as if he’d been there all along. Sanghyuk immediately stopped pacing and approached him in a hurry.

“Wow, now I’m offended,” Jaehwan quipped at Hakyeon, gasping right after when Sanghyuk all but tackled him.

“You’re alive!”

Jaehwan coughed, stiff as a board in Sanghyuk’s embrace - which had the looks to be very, very strong. “Of course I’m alive! But not for long if you keep crushing me.”

“Oh, sorry,” Sanghyuk mumbled and reluctantly let go of Jaehwan, keeping his head low while stepping back to give him space. “It’s— You took a while.”

Jaehwan, taking a few lungfuls of air to recover from the prince’s bear hug, soon smiled a lopsided grin at Sanghyuk. “You can’t rush art.”

“Killing Templars is an art now?” Hongbin asked, mocking, and Jaehwan shot him an unamused look.

“It certainly involves more energy than sticking a pointy piece of metal on people’s backs.”

Hongbin scoffed. “Don’t talk about what you don’t know, maleficar.”

“You—”

“Jaehwan,” Sanghyuk interrupted, something for which Hakyeon was thankful; he was quickly developing a headache and listening to stupid bickering would not help matters. “Are you hurt?”

Jaehwan turned to Sanghyuk, demeanor shifting from aggravated to mellow in a second. “Oh? No, I’m fine. I heal very quickly, it comes with being a blood mage.” After giving Sanghyuk one more reassuring smile, Jaehwan turned to the others. “So, what did I miss?”

“Nothing,” Hakyeon answered with a shrug. “We were just standing here. Freezing.”

Jaehwan looked at Hakyeon up and down. “Yes, you are most definitely not dressed for the weather.”

“Can we just do what we have to do so we can leave?” Hongbin cut in, impatient and with that edge to his voice that Hakyeon knew meant he was holding back from stabbing someone. Then, turning to the Dalish, Hongbin ordered, “You, give me my pouch back.”

The Dalish blinked slowly at him, looking like a very large, very lazy cat, and still without saying a word took a nondescript leather pouch from his belt and tossed it at Hongbin. Hongbin smiled, obviously satisfied, but the smile soon fell off his face and he glared at the Dalish once more.

“It’s empty.”

The Dalish raised his eyebrows in obvious defiance, and Hakyeon had to bite down on his tongue not to snicker at how easily that elf was making his friend lose his composure.

“Where is the brooch that was in here?” Hongbin demanded, and the Dalish only cocked his head to the side, looking as calm as ever. Hongbin was about a step away from steaming from his nostrils.

“Let’s start with easier requests, how ‘bout that?” Jaehwan interrupted, smiling amicably at Hongbin. “May I step in or will you shove a dagger to his face until his corpse decides to tell you where the jewel is? Seems to be your preferred approach.”

“If you think you can do better, be my fucking guest,” Hongbin replied. He made an impatient gesture with one hand and moved back to lean against the wall again. Hakyeon sighed, unsure if the action was out of relief that Hongbin had decided to sulk instead of fighting everyone, or if he was just very tired. It was likely a little bit of both.

But Hongbin losing his temper wasn’t something so common; the pay for that job must have been very high indeed. Or was it because of his little lovers’ spat with Wonshik? Well. Regardless of the reason, Hakyeon should probably keep an eye on him.

“Alright, how about you take off that mask?” Jaehwan suggested with a tone that was obviously not a suggestion at all, and Dalish stared at him for a few seconds, searching, before reaching behind his head to untie the knot that was keeping the bandana in place.

Once the piece of cloth fell from his face, Hakyeon felt a sudden rush of— Something.

It wasn’t just the upper half of the elf’s face that was pretty - his entire face was lovely. The high cheekbones, cute nose, chubby cheeks. Pink, pouty lips. And all combined with those eyes.

Those eyes.

Hakyeon felt a jab on his side and winced, looking over to find Hongbin glaring at him.

“What?”

“Stop eye-fucking the Dalish,” Hongbin hissed between teeth, and Hakyeon fought the wave of embarrassment with a higher, stronger wave of self-righteous offense.

“Stop eye-fucking the guard.” Hakyeon threw back in a mock imitation of Hongbin’s voice.

That Hongbin didn’t punch him in the face for that was a miracle in itself. It sure did seem like he wanted to.

“See, that wasn’t hard,” Jaehwan said, and from his tone it almost sounded like he was about to pet the Dalish’s head as if he were a child. “Now, where did you put the jewel?”

The Dalish only stared at Jaehwan, expression blank. Jaehwan cleared his throat.

“You see, that jewel means a lot for this tall dragony man over here,” Jaehwan explained, pointing a thumb at Sanghyuk. “It was the last gift his mother gave to him. She was—” Jaehwan hesitated, glancing briefly at the prince. Sanghyuk had his head low. “Will you give it back to him?”

Still, all the Dalish did was stare.

“You know what? Fuck your nice blood mage ways. Hakyeon, hold his arms and I’ll search him,” Hongbin decided, already stepping forward.

Hakyeon jolted at how suddenly he’d become involved in the conversation, his first reaction being to look over at the Dalish only to find he was looking back at him, the challenge in his eyes very similar to the way he’d looked at Hongbin earlier. Hakyeon gulped once their gazes crossed and turned again to Hongbin, easily falling back into righteous anger as he did.

“Ok, first of all, I am _not_ going to help you shake down some elf - no offense,” he added in a softer tone, turning to the elf for a moment before looking back at Hongbin, “and second, you told me all I had to do was dance!”

“Woah, hold on just a second,” Sanghyuk said, then raised his head and lifted his palms to halt them. “You two know each other?”

Hongbin scoffed. Hakyeon sighed, starting to get very annoyed with his friend’s sudden lack of people skills.

“Yes,” Hakyeon answered, polite - unlike _some_ people, “we’ve been friends for a few years.”

“It’s none of his business,” Hongbin grumbled under his breath. Hakyeon made a point to ignore him.

“Let me get this straight,” Sanghyuk said, waving both hands in front of himself. “You two have conspired together to come to my home and steal from me, and now you’re arguing to have back what you’ve stolen from me while I’m standing right here?”

“Hey, I didn’t conspire to do anything,” Hakyeon argued. “All I was told to do was dance. Yes, I may or may not have been aware that Hongbin’s intentions here weren’t exactly legal, but I didn’t know what they were!”

“True, I didn’t tell him,” Hongbin confirmed. “Hakyeon might not be completely innocent, but he only did it because I asked him to.”

“Touching, but it doesn’t change the fact that you were both together in this!” Sanghyuk's voice got louder, and Jaehwan rushed to his side and shook his arm lightly.

“Sanghyuk. Stop,” Jaehwan advised in a low but firm voice. “It’s not worth it to lose control over this.”

“But—”

“I know.”

Sanghyuk looked like he was about to argue for a moment, until his shoulders slumped down in defeat and he stomped his way to sit down against the wall, hugging his knees tight against his chest. A grown man and a prince, and yet at that moment all Hakyeon could see was a child, lost and scared and mourning his parents. It made his heart ache.

He almost wanted to turn to Hongbin and tell him to just let the kid have his damn— Whatever it was back.

And he was about to, when Wonshik, who had been quiet so far, spoke up. “Why does it matter anyway?”

Hongbin turned to the guard, who had gotten up and was now walking towards Hongbin with fire in his eyes. “Wonshik?” 

“What do you want with whatever you were trying to steal?”

“I didn’t _try_ , I stole it and—”

“I don’t give a damn, why do you need it so much?” Wonshik demanded.

“Because I’m getting paid for it and the coin I’ll get will set me up for a long time!” Hongbin exclaimed, throwing his hands up in the air as if giving up. “Because this is supposed to be my way out! _Our_ way out!”

“Our way out of what, exactly?” Wonshik asked and crossed his arms, eyes narrowed while he stared at Hongbin.

“Out of this accursed land! What do you want me to say to you?” Hongbin said with a scoff and shook his head, running one hand through his hair nervously. “Maker’s breath, Shik, you really don’t understand anything.”

“Wh— _I_ don’t understand anything?” Wonshik said, derisive to the core. “I knew it the moment I saw you last night, I _knew_ you were up to no good, I’m such an idiot.”

“Shik—”

“Get a room,” Jaehwan cut in, and Hakyeon almost thanked him. Almost. It was at the tip of his tongue.

The reasons why he didn’t were, one, Hongbin would likely poke his eyes out, and two, because he saw movement from the corner of his eye and turned to the Dalish and—

There was one extra raven there. A raven on each shoulder. Was Hakyeon so tired that he was seeing double?

And was the Dalish— _Talking_ to one of the ravens?

That felt like a worst trip than the one he suffered from after tasting Aquae Lucidius during one of his trips to Val Royeaux, and that had lasted him a full two days, two days during which he could literally hear colors.

Pink sounded quite angelic, if he recalled correctly.

But that… That was just surreal. Dalish elf. Talking to ravens.

He was ready to write that off as a hallucination, but the mage had to go and confirm his eyesight was sound. “Are you talking to the bird? Wait, why are there two birds?”

The Dalish didn’t answer - not that Hakyeon thought he would - and continued to watch the raven on his left shoulder attentively, nodding here and there like the bird was, indeed, talking to him. That night couldn’t get any weirder, it seemed.

Alas, he was wrong.

With one last nod to the raven, the Dalish rose to his feet, patting the back of his pants to dust it off before he raised his eyes to Jaehwan and then to Hakyeon, the only two who seemed to be paying attention - Sanghyuk was still sitting against the wall, and Wonshik and Hongbin seemed to be having a whispered argument a couple of steps away.

The Dalish’s dark eyes seemed to linger on Hakyeon for a moment longer, one, maybe two heartbeats, before he turned to Jaehwan and finally spoke. “My name is Taekwoon,” he said, his voice much, much softer and melodic than what Hakyeon had expected, “and I am not returning your jewel.”

Jaehwan looked as dumbstruck as Hakyeon felt. “Uh… Ok. Why not?”

The Dalish— _Taekwoon_ blinked slowly at the mage. “Because I need it.”

“Oh, decided to start talking, did you?” Hongbin spoke, finally noticing what was happening, and zoomed in on Taekwoon, who, for his credit, didn’t flinch. “Give me back the brooch!”

“No.”

“Well. I’m not asking.”

“You can have it once I’m done with it,” Taekwoon said, serious for all that the corners of his lips were quirked up in a smug smile.

Hongbin took a deep breath before enunciating the words slowly. “Where. Is. The brooch?”

Taekwoon cocked his head to the side, his smile widening just the tiniest bit. “I’m afraid one of the birds ate it.”

Since Hongbin was about one second away from throttling Taekwoon, Hakyeon decided to step in and put himself between the two elves before that night saw even more blood. “Alright, let’s calm down.”

“Great idea!” Jaehwan promptly agreed, also moving closer just in case a fight broke off between Hongbin and Taekwoon. Then, turning to the latter, Jaehwan asked, “I am wondering, though, why is it that you have decided to start talking to us now?”

“I did not have permission,” Taekwoon replied, his answer working only to leave everyone more confused than before.

“And you got permission… From the bird?” Jaehwan questioned carefully. Taekwoon arched an eyebrow in response as if Jaehwan was stupid.

“The ravens are but messengers.”

“Messengers from...?” Jaehwan prompted, and Taekwoon’s reply this time was a dismissive shrug. Jaehwan sighed. “Ok. Alright. So you can’t speak without permission.”

“I’ve made a vow,” Taekwoon said, and it was Hakyeon’s turn to frown in confusion.

“A vow of silence?” Hakyeon elaborated, quizzical.

“Yes.”

“Isn’t talking to us breaking that vow?”

“I have permission.”

“To break the vow?”

“To talk to you.”

“Only us, specifically?”

“Yes.”

“Huh,” Hakyeon huffed. That elf was interesting, he’d give him that. “So you’ll still be mute to the rest of the world?”

Taekwoon nodded sharply, just once, and Hakyeon found the motion cute. Again. Thinking the Dalish was cute. How many times had he thought Taekwoon was cute only during the past couple hours? Way too many. That had to stop.

“And why do you need my brooch?” Hongbin asked, visibly calmer than two minutes ago but still looking like he shouldn’t be tried on the matter.

Sanghyuk, also having noticed the new development, scoffed as he approached. “Excuse you, but the brooch is mine.”

“Finders keepers, Prince Valiant.”

“You didn’t ‘find’ it, you stole it.”

“Po-tay-to, po-tah-to,” Hongbin deadpanned, and turning to the Dalish once more, ordered, “Give me back the damn brooch right _now_.”

Taekwoon arched an eyebrow at order, then scoffed and turned to start walking away. Hongbin scrambled to stop him, this time with the prince in tow who grabbed Taekwoon by the arm.

“Where do you think you’re going!?” Sanghyuk asked. “I want my brooch back!”

“Back off, princeling.”

Hongbin yanked Taekwoon’s other arm to get him away from Sanghyuk, the Dalish elf wincing as if in pain. Hakyeon groaned and moved in to stop the situation from escalating.

“Enough, before you rip him in half,” he said. Then, tearing a long strip off the hem of his formerly pretty tunic - it was already ruined anyway -, Hakyeon gently took Taekwoon’s hands and pushed them together, trying his wrists with the soft fabric tight enough that he wouldn’t be able to break free, but not tight enough to hurt him.

He valiantly ignored the way Taekwoon’s dark eyes were focused on him. Or how Taekwoon didn’t try to break free from his grasp.

Hakyeon gave the knot a little tug to make sure it was a firm and, satisfied, gave the remaining length of cloth to Sanghyuk to hold on to - because Hongbin would likely strangle Taekwoon with it - before he turned to Hongbin. “There, question him all you want, just don’t hurt him. I think we’ve all seen enough violence for one night, so play nice.”

Hongbin glared at Hakyeon, but the expression fell off his face when Wonshik’s voice was heard again.

“Great, it seems like you all have things under control, I have to get back to the city,” Wonshik said, already beginning to move back the way they’d come, but Hongbin rushed to stand in front of him to block his path.

“Are you insane? They’ve seen your face and they’ve seen you with the royal seed over there,” Hongbin said and motioned to Sanghyuk, who made a face at the way Hongbin had referred to him. “You go back, those lunatics will kill you. Or rather, they’ll torture you until you spill the location of dragon boy and his blood mage sidekick, and _then_ they’ll kill you.”

“I’m certainly better than a _sidekick,_ ” Jaehwan mumbled, pouting at the ground. Everyone shot him identical unimpressed looks.

“And I’m supposed to just run away while the city is burning and people are in danger?” Wonshik was close to shouting, and Hakyeon really, really hoped they wouldn’t start another fight.

“You’re people and you’re in danger too, if you need a reminder,” Hongbin threw back, not backing down even with the rage in Wonshik’s eyes.

“Unlike some people, I don’t think about only saving my own skin.”

“Enough!” Sanghyuk said, loud, commanding, and Hakyeon could see a bit of the prince in him peeking through the cracks. Wonshik immediately lowered his head, set on respecting his ruler’s order. Hongbin was unmoved. “We have lingered here for too long and this place is easy to locate. We all obviously still have a lot of talking to do, but we need to find a safe place first.”

Jaehwan grinned at him. “Way ahead of you, Your Highness. I told you to bring our new friends here for a reason, so if you’ll kindly follow me.”

Jaehwan gestured daintily with one hand before he started moving alongside the tall walls of the Necropolis, Sanghyuk following him without question. Taekwoon also began walking with them unprompted, no need for Sanghyuk to tug him along, his creepy pair of ravens taking flight into the night sky, presumably to follow. Wonshik seemed hesitant but also joined the group, and that left Hakyeon and Hongbin behind.

“So, what now?” Hakyeon asked his friend, who sighed, tired. “We can still leave, get far away from this mess and—”

“I need that jewel, Yeonie,” Hongbin interrupted, massaging the bridge of his nose with his thumb and index finger.

Hakyeon pursed his lips. That was  _not_ what he wanted to hear. “Is it really that important? Is the coin good enough that you’d risk your life for it?”

“It’s not about the coin. I mean, it _is_ , but I have plans for it, it’s… This could change everything for me,” Hongbin said, then dropped his hands to his sides and looked at Hakyeon. “I won’t ask you to come with me, I did only ask you to dance and you’ve done so beautifully, like I knew you would. You don’t have to get involved in this— I don’t even know what this is.” Hongbin chuckled to himself, bitter. “You can go. I won’t hold it against you.”

Truthfully, Hakyeon wanted to leave. He wanted to go far away, run for the metaphorical hills, maybe even all the way back to Rivain. He was missing his mother’s cooking something terrible for a while now, and he wanted to see his little nephew again. Maybe catch up with some of his old crew from his Raider days.

After a couple of seconds, Hakyeon sighed and smiled at Hongbin. “I’m not going to leave you to fight a bunch of weirdos in robes,” he said, and the relief in Hongbin’s stance was palpable. “Besides, someone will have to hold you back from strangling our new companions.”

“I don’t deserve you,” Hongbin exhaled the wors, and, together, they began to follow the others who were already a considerable distance ahead of them.

Hakyeon chuckled. “Probably not. But one thing I remember from being a Raider is something this guy with a braided beard told me once: ‘You don’t screw around when it comes to loyalty’.”

Hongbin snorted. “Loyalty is a foreign concept to me, but I understand what you mean.”

“Speaking of foreign concepts,” Hakyeon shot Hongbin a sidelong glance, “who’s the guard? He’s pretty cute.”

The smile dropped from Hongbin’s face as if it had never been there at all. “I changed my mind, go away.”

“Too late, you’re stuck with me!”

 

✶✶✶

 

Jaehwan had always enjoyed visiting the Grand Necropolis, from the first time he’d gone there to the present. The architecture of the place was absolutely stunning, each mausoleum unique and majestic in its own way, not to mention all the knowledge to be found, the history. Of course, his love for the place was significantly diminished at that moment for having to sneak in through a crack on the wall and use the least traveled streets, the ones away from tourists’ gazes and often ignored by the people responsible for maintenance.

That meant a lot of cobwebs and the occasional rat. He was fine with it - the Circle back in Ostwick had roaches the size of a fist, so he got used to vermin relatively early in the game; some of his companions, however… Not so much.

Sanghyuk was unmoved by his surroundings, which was no surprise; like himself, Sanghyuk had been to the Necropolis several times in the past, and, like himself, the prince liked to break off on his own and explore - or in Sanghyuk’s case, run away - so that more unkempt part of the Grand Necropolis was not exactly news to him.

The Dalish elf, Taekwoon, seemed fine with the rats - Jaehwan thought he saw him cooing at one, even - but he was most definitely not fine with the spiders, flinching and moving away anytime they walked near one.

Hongbin had a disgusted expression on his face, glancing around with disapproval and walking as if he was being forced to wade into a field of snot.

Those were the mild ones. Now, the guard and the dancer—

Wonshik was jumping and whining, moving left and right to escape the critters, while Hakyeon shrieked and tried to hide behind Hongbin, who would only sigh and shake him away. It would be amusing at any other time, but not while they were trying to go by unnoticed. It was hard enough to maneuver the winding back streets of the Necropolis while avoiding the wandering undead, to have two grown men screaming over some spiders and drawing attention to them made it that much harder.

“Will you two use your inner voices to scream, please?” Jaehwan hissed at them over his shoulder. “Or do you want the entire population of the Necropolis to find us?”

And by ‘population’, Jaehwan meant the undead; luckily for him, Hakyeon and Wonshik took the hint and both pursed their lips tightly together to contain any sounds like two well-behaved children.

That problem contained, Jaehwan turned the focus of his concern towards Sanghyuk, walking next to him with his head low and expression blank. Sanghyuk had always been the type to stew over his feelings, especially if those feelings were of the bad variety, and it was rare for the prince to talk openly about anything that was bothering him. Jaehwan knew that firsthand since, no matter how they were seemingly always at odds, he was the person who was closest to Sanghyuk, one of the very few people who truly saw Sanghyuk at his most vulnerable, emotional moments.

He wouldn’t go as far as to say he knew what Sanghyuk was feeling, because he didn’t; he had an idea, an inkling, but Sanghyuk must be overwhelmed with a myriad of conflicting emotions that Jaehwan wasn’t privy to. He had witnessed his mother being murdered, the entire court being slaughtered, his home burning.

He’d seen Jaehwan use his blood magic. To kill.

Not Jaehwan’s proudest moment but… Desperate times.

His parents dying in front of him in such a cruel way, Jaehwan couldn’t begin to imagine how much it hurt. And at the same time, Sanghyuk never truly got along with the king and queen. He loved them, Jaehwan knew so, but at the same time there was a lot of old wounds there, wounds that never really healed, so the grief Sanghyuk must have been experiencing was certainly mixed, to some extent, to relief. And that relief probably made Sanghyuk feel guilty.

And now the prince was stuck to his Arcane Advisor, who could also be referenced to as his main rival. He couldn’t be happy, not in the slightest.

But— Sanghyuk had hugged him when he returned from his murder-some-Templars-detour. Sanghyuk had never hugged him before, much less with the enthusiasm he had hugged him that night. And, fine, he  _did_ like the hug - Jaehwan loved hugs, a fact very few people knew - but the reasons behind it were confusing, to say the least.

Sanghyuk didn’t hug people. Indeed, during his eight or so years serving the Nevarran Royal Family, he had never seen Sanghyuk hug anything or anyone, not even once.

Sanghyuk was probably more rattled about the events of that evening than Jaehwan thought.

Although, just before all the chaos and mayhem descended upon them… Sanghyuk had asked him to dance.

Jaehwan ignored the way his heart rate increased at the memory. Sanghyuk had asked him to dance. He certainly had a reason behind it, some ulterior motive, but—

Jaehwan would have said yes.

He pushed the thoughts away under the carpet of his mind, where all his unwanted thoughts ended up, and focused on leading that merry band of strangers to safety. Yes. Priorities.

They had reached the center of the Grand Necropolis, where the Royal Mausoleum was located, and that— That was the trickiest part. Jaehwan stopped walking, holding an arm out to his side to stop Sanghyuk from continuing ahead, and peeked behind the granite wall of the mausoleum they were currently hiding behind.

Jaehwan could spot a couple of the undead dragging their feet nearby, but the general, immediate area surrounding the Royal Mausoleum seemed to be clear. As long as they were discrete and fast, they wouldn’t catch the attention of the corpses walking around. The problem, however, was that the Royal Mausoleum was usually _the_ attraction for tourists - the path leading there was well lit and well patrolled. There were no sentinels around, but that could quickly change.

“Jaehwan?” Sanghyuk whispered next to him, and Jaehwan jolted a bit with how close he was. “Something wrong?”

“I’m just thinking,” Jaehwan answered, turning his eyes back to the doors of the mausoleum. “We need to get in there.”

“What for, do you miss my late great-grandmother?” Sanghyuk quipped, to which Jaehwan answered with an unamused glance.

“The Royal Mausoleum can only be opened by those of the royal bloodline. We’ll be safe in there until we can figure out what to do.”

Jaehwan’s explanation seemed to be enough for Sanghyuk, for he nodded slowly in acknowledgment. “Alright. Good plan. What’s the problem?”

“The undead will be able to spot us, and you know what happens when the undead spot people.”

Sanghyuk grimaced. “Yeah, I know.”

“What happens?” Hakyeon asked, pressed against the wall as if he was trying to become one with it.

Sanghyuk turned to the dancer. “Let’s just say they give very warm welcomes.”

Hakyeon’s eyes widened and he jerked back. “Uhm… Yeah, no getting the undead’s attention.”

“I’ll create a distraction,” Sanghyuk said, already turning around and walking back down the way they’d come. Jaehwan almost had a heart attack at that and scrambled to grab him by the arm.

“Have you lost your mind!?”

“What? I was just going to make some noise or maybe knock over a lamp or something,” Sanghyuk stared back at Jaehwan with a confused expression on his face. He looked so young. It wasn’t fair. Nothing about that night was fair.

“I’ll do it, before we freeze our balls off in this cold,” Hongbin said, and quickly moved to the other side of the wall.

Jaehwan, along with the rest of the group, stayed back and watched as Hongbin sneaked his way further down the path, keeping himself to the shadows easily - no surprise there, since he was, well, a thief - and making no sounds. It was fine so far, but that was only until Jaehwan saw that Hongbin was going towards one of the undead instead of away from it.

“What is he—” Wonshik mumbled next to them, trailing off since his attention was on the scene playing out before them.

Hongbin had walked up to stand behind the walking corpse and, looking to his surroundings for a moment, he just— Jaehwan had to cover his mouth with one hand not to laugh.

Hongbin just unceremoniously shoved the living corpse into a streetlamp, causing the undead to fall with a surprised wail that had the entire group biting back laughter. Not only that, but the lamp itself swayed too far and got unhooked from the pole, crashing on the stone path below.

Comical as it was, it did serve its purpose - all the noise worked to get the undead around the mausoleum to move to see what was happening, and Hongbin strolled back to the group with a self-satisfied smile on his face.

“What are we waiting for? They won’t be interested in some glass shards forever.”

Jaehwan decided not to start another argument even if he didn’t like Hongbin’s attitude, and swiftly led the group towards the mausoleum door, ushering Sanghyuk to open it. Sanghyuk shot him a sideways glance that seemed both tired and exasperated, but the prince didn’t complain and gripped both the handles on the large oak doors of the Royal Mausoleum.

“Through hardship to the stars,” Sanghyuk droned out his family words, which, in that case, were also the password to get the mausoleum doors to open. With a dull creak of its hinges, the entrance parted to allow them passage, and Jaehwan quickly ushered the group inside, Sanghyuk first, followed by Taekwoon, Hongbin, Wonshik, and Hakyeon.

Giving a last once over to their surroundings, Jaehwan quickly went inside with the others, shutting the doors behind them. Once inside, Jaehwan patted his robes in search of something sharp, and, when he didn’t find anything, he turned to Hakyeon, “Uhm, may I borrow your dagger for a moment?”

Hakyeon, who had been looking around both curiously and suspiciously - for no reason, for the foyer of the Royal Mausoleum was well kept and had no corpses walking around in it - turned around to face Jaehwan, taking a couple of seconds to process the request before he deftly took a dagger from his belt and handed it to Jaehwan.

“Thank you, this will take just a moment,” Jaehwan said and gladly accepted the weapon; in a quick motion, he dragged the blade over his palm, hissing at the sting the cut caused him. Then, plastering a mild smile on his face, he handed Hakyeon his dagger back. “There you go.”

Hakyeon seemed to be at a loss about what just happened and just mumbled a ‘no problem’ before putting his dagger away. Jaehwan took a deep breath to focus his energy and pressed his bloody palm over the seam of the doors, closing his eyes as he muttered an incantation under his breath. It took less than a heartbeat for him to feel the energy flowing from him into the spell, sealing them inside the mausoleum. Satisfied, he turned to the others.

“This should keep anybody out for a couple of days.”

“And we should just sit here in this fruit-crate sized room until whoever is after Prince Dragonling decides to give up the chase?” Hongbin snided, and Jaehwan rolled his eyes, moving to one of the doors on the walls of the foyer.

“If you exercised the virtue of patience for once you’d save so much of your energy. Wouldn’t run your mouth so much, you know?” Jaehwan bit back, ignoring the colorful term Hongbin used to refer to him, and peeked through the door on the other side of the room, directly in front of the entrance. “Now be quiet, or do you want the masters of the house to come and greet us?”

That was enough to shut everybody up.

The Royal Mausoleum was, basically, a mansion for the dead. Even after living in Nevarra for most of his life, Jaehwan still had trouble understanding the need to build such grand buildings to house some corpses who couldn’t even appreciate it - probably the main reason why Jaehwan didn’t feel bad about invading the dead’s space like that.

The room was dark, as it often was since the undead don’t really need to see where they’re going, so Jaehwan reached into the Fade to conjure a small wisp of light, enough to light their way, but not enough to alert the entire mausoleum of their presence. Jaehwan could see only one undead inside, making gurgling noises and repeatedly slamming itself against the wall as if a door would magically appear to let it pass. Jaehwan wasn’t sure if he should laugh of feel bad for the thing.

“Is that my great uncle?” Sanghyuk asked, having also spotted the corpse.

“Why is there only one?” Hongbin had a judgemental look on his face as he watched the undead slam itself yet again against the wall.

“Most of the corpses here prefer to stay farther inside the mausoleum,” Jaehwan explained in a whisper, entering the room and moving to the farthest side. “Since there are tourists around here every day, it gets too loud out front. It bothers them, so they stay where it’s quieter.”

“I almost feel sorry for them,” Hakyeon mumbled.

Jaehwan turned to face him. “Only almost?”

“Yeah, I mean… They’re too creepy for me to find the compassion underneath the aversion.”

“Fair enough.”

Jaehwan reached the wall on the opposite side, using his small orb of light to illuminate the ornaments carved into the stone. The corpse turned to them and moaned quizzically, its ash colored head tilting to the side. Hakyeon whimpered and ducked behind Hongbin to hide.

“They’re more afraid of you than you are of them,” Sanghyuk helpfully informed, seeing how Hakyeon had reacted.

“Doesn’t change the fact that they’re scary,” Wonshik was the one to speak, also partially hidden behind Hongbin. Hongbin merely rolled his eyes and sighed.

“Shush, I’m trying to focus,” Jaehwan said, patting the ornaments one by one. “I can’t ever remember which one is it.” Moving a few steps to the right, Jaehwan finally felt the little switch he’d been searching for, behind a carving that seemed to depict Andraste being burned at the stake. “Ah, there it is.”

He pushed the switch and shoved the wall forward, using his body weight as leverage to move the heavy passage. The scraping of stone on stone was loud in the otherwise quiet mausoleum, and, knowing it would likely attract the attention of the rest of the undead that resided there, Jaehwan didn’t bother opening the door too much, just enough for them to be able to squeeze through.

“Through here and down the stairs, go,” Jaehwan said and gestured rapidly with his hand to usher them inside, Sanghyuk whispering a ‘bye, uncle!’ to the confused corpse still staring at them before he went through the passage, followed by Taekwoon, Hongbin, Wonshik, and Hakyeon.

Jaehwan quickly went in after them, closing the hidden door again carefully before taking the lead once more, his wisp of light more useful than ever now that they had to descend a particularly long flight of stairs.

“I didn’t know about this passage,” Sanghyuk commented, looking around curiously. “Does it lead to the catacombs?”

“Basically every secret passage you find in Nevarra City leads to the catacombs,” Jaehwan replied breezily. “I’ve spent a significant amount of time down there while being trained by the Mortalitasi in their more… _Secretive_ techniques.”

“So you know Death Magic as well?” Sanghyuk asked, and to Jaehwan’s surprise there was no sarcasm or irony there - Sanghyuk seemed genuinely impressed. It sure worked to boost his ego.

“Not extensively, only the basics of it,” Jaehwan replied, finally reaching the landing. “I was only allowed to learn the skills I will need to advise you, if I wished to learn more I’d have to join the Mortalitasi order.”

“Why didn’t you?”

“The color of their robes doesn’t go well with my skin tone,” Jaehwan quipped, and Sanghyuk huffed a small puff of laughter.

They fell silent as Jaehwan began to guide them deep into the dark, damp tunnels of the catacombs, the orb of light the only source of illumination. Jaehwan tried to ignore the others behind him in order not to get lost - he was more than used to going down to the catacombs, but rarely ever through the entrance they had used that night; it was much more likely for him to just enter the catacombs through the various secret passages in Castrum Draconis, one of which was located inside his very room, so he actually needed to pay attention to where he was going instead of following his pavlovian instincts.

“Are these real bones?” Hakyeon asked, looking around with a look of horror on his pretty face. Jaehwan couldn’t help a little amused grin.

“Because it makes all the sense for Nevarran leaders to store gazillions of prop bones under the city?”

Hakyeon pouted and got quiet again, hugging himself out of cold and fear. Jaehwan felt bad for him in those thin, ripped stage clothes, several patches of his golden skin visible and thus, exposed to the chill of the catacombs. If Jaehwan had extra clothes on him, he’d let the poor guy have it; he felt cold just looking at him.

For his sake, because Jaehwan was nothing if not a bleeding heart, he picked up his pace, leading them faster through the various tunnels and passages until he finally reached the more familiar stretch of corridors, and from there finding his way would be as easy as breathing.

After about ten minutes or so, Jaehwan found himself at his intended corridor, this time not taking a second to find the mechanism that opened that secret door, hidden under one of the various skulls that adorned the walls. Hooking his fingers on the depression carved on the stone just next to the switch, Jaehwan pulled the heavy door open with a strained groan - his skinny mage arms were not made for strenuous activities - and made an exaggerated gesture to usher his companions inside. “Come in, make yourselves at home.”

Again, he waited until everyone had filed inside before going in himself, shutting the passage behind them. Jaehwan dismissed his light wisp, plunging them into total darkness - but only for a moment. Just as quick, with a single wide motion of his hand, Jaehwan lit all the candles and lanterns on the walls, revealing his— Hidey hole, for the lack of a better term.

Jaehwan suspected it had been a vault for some living dead once upon a time, but when he found it a few months after he moved to Nevarra City, it was empty, covered in dust and cobwebs and littered with debris. It reminded Jaehwan of himself, in a way - it didn’t look like much at first, just like he hadn’t looked like much when he first came to his magic, but it had the potential to be great. So Jaehwan made it great; whenever he had free time, he would go down to his hidden room in the catacombs and clean it up. Then he brought in furniture, cheap things he found to buy secondhand in the market. Shelves, tables, chairs, a couch, a recliner. A couple of screens to create a makeshift wall to make the place look more organized. As time passed, Jaehwan brought more and more things, and now that which was once just an old dusty room became a second home.

“Uhm… Jaehwan?” Sanghyuk called, lilting the end of the sentence uncertainly as he looked around the room in awe. “Have you been living a double life or something?”

Jaehwan chuckled at that. “No, but I’m a mage born in the Free Marches, where those of magical blood don’t have as much freedom, if any at all. I’ve learned there to be prepared in case I ever needed to make myself scarce,” Jaehwan explained, entering his secret room and moving to a large wooden chest sitting against a wall. “And it did come in handy when I started learning blood magic. Can’t exactly practice illegal spells where anybody could see.”

“But… Jaehwan,” Sanghyuk still sounded dumbstruck. “You have more books in here than you have in your room at the castle.”

“Well, yes? I’ve brought most of them from there,” Jaehwan replied, opening the chest to search for a few spare clothes. “If you go behind the screens there you’ll find a lot more, but those are all the forbidden tomes I’ve managed to find about blood magic.” Jaehwan gestured over his shoulder to the general direction of his makeshift study, not looking behind himself as he continued his quest for clean, warmer clothes.

“Huh, so you didn’t learn it from a demon,” Hongbin commented as he plopped down on a nearby armchair like he owned it. “That’s a relief.”

“Of course I didn’t learn it from a demon, do I look like an idiot to you?” Jaehwan snapped and gave Hongbin an offended look; after a moment considering his words, he shook his head. “You know what, don’t answer that.” He finally found a pair of linen trousers and a shirt, approaching Hakyeon to drop the clothes on his arms. “Here, you should change before you freeze to death.”

Hakyeon accepted the clothes looking like he was about to start crying. “Thank you so much.”

Jaehwan smiled at him. “It’s no trouble. You can go change over there if you want some privacy.”

Hakyeon simply nodded and shuffled towards the screens, ducking behind them to change his clothes. Satisfied, Jaehwan returned to the chest.

“Sanghyuk and— Wonshik?” Jaehwan checked, looking at the guard who nodded to confirm his name. “You two should change as well, walking around wearing a metal box can’t be comfortable.”

“Do you have anything in there that aren’t ugly robes?” Sanghyuk teased and Jaehwan clucked his tongue.

“My robes are all very fashionable, you’re the one who has no taste,” he threw back as he fished another clean outfit from his chest, going towards Wonshik first. “Here, these should fit you.”

“Thank you, sir mage,” Wonshik said and he took the clothes with his head bowed in thanks.

Jaehwan giggled at the formality. “You can just call me Jaehwan. Maker knows I’m no ‘sir’.”

“Yes, s— Jaehwan,” Wonshik interrupted himself before he could call Jaehwan ‘sir mage’ again. “I’ll just… Wait for the other one to be done.”

“His name is Hakyeon,” Hongbin said from his seat, having gotten comfortable enough to throw both legs over one of the arms of the chair. “Will you need help with that armor?”

“No, I got it,” Wonshik answered curtly.

“You sure? Those latches seem awfully tricky.”

Wonshik didn’t reply to that, which, in Jaehwan’s opinion, was great. He turned to Taekwoon next, perched on the couch, hands still tied, looking around in wide-eyed curiosity.

“Taekwoon?” Jaehwan called, and the Dalish’s feline eyes turned to regard him. “Do you need a change of clothes?” Taekwoon shook his head no, and Jaehwan nodded in acknowledgment before looking at his chest again, finding that Sanghyuk was going through it already. Jaehwan arched an eyebrow at that. “...Sure, Your Highness, you can look through my stuff, no problem.”

Sanghyuk ignored him. No surprise there.

With a roll of his eyes, Jaehwan went to sit down on the couch next to Taekwoon, sighing long and deep for the respite on his legs. He was exhausted. And he should probably drink some water soon, considering how much blood he had to lose during the course of that night. He didn’t even find it in himself to truly stop and process everything that happened, that was happening. That  _would_ happen.

“Jaehwan,” Sanghyuk called and Jaehwan turned towards him, the prince moving over to where he was. “Help with my armor.”

Jaehwan huffed. “What am I, your maid?” he complained but promptly sat up straighter on the couch, motioning to the ground in front of him. “Sit down, I’m not getting up.”

Sanghyuk didn’t try to argue and plopped down in front of Jaehwan, turning slightly sideways so he could place one of his hands on the mage’s lap, indicating that he should start with the gauntlets. Jaehwan shot him an annoyed glance from the corners of his eyes but began unlatching the gauntlets he had put on the prince himself earlier.

Hakyeon rejoined them at that moment, dressed up in Jaehwan’s simple clothes and looking much more comfortable. The dancer sat down on a nearby chair, while Wonshik had done like Sanghyuk and found himself a spot on the floor, deftly removing his own armor like one who had practice in such a task.

“So,” Wonshik began, unlatching the plate armor on his left leg, “what do we do now?”

“I want my jewel back,” Hongbin immediately said, turning his head to Taekwoon. “Will you give it back?”

Taekwoon only spared Hongbin a two-second glance before continuing to look around the room. “No.”

“The jewel is  _mine,_ ” Sanghyuk helpfully reminded the group. “But I’m starting to think I should just let that go, this is giving me a headache. What I want now is to kill every single one of the people responsible for murdering my family.”

Hongbin snorted at that. “Considering how we don’t even know who those people are, good luck with that.”

“I don’t care who they are, they can be the combined leaders of the rest of Thedas for all I care. I’ll go to war if I have to.”

“Sanghyuk, don’t start,” Jaehwan scolded the prince with the most serious voice he could muster. Sanghyuk glared at him, but Jaehwan ignored it and continued to remove his gauntlets as if nothing ever happened.

“From what I could tell during the mess, whoever was behind it was targeting the nobility,” Hakyeon helpfully informed. “The entrances were all blocked, they were using explosives and cutting down everyone in finery. You two should probably stay out of sight for a while.”

“I’m not nobility, but I understand; my magical ass is probably on the line by association,” Jaehwan said and sighed in affectation; Sanghyuk chortled at his words. Jaehwan gave him a light slap on the back of the hand. “Laugh all you want, at least I have an ass.”

“Hey,” Hongbin suddenly called, all eyes turning to him, “doesn’t that make you king?”

Jaehwan felt his stomach drop, and, judging from the way Sanghyuk had paled, so did his.

“Your Majesty,” Wonshik said and scrambled to kneel before - or next to? - Sanghyuk, head bowed low. “I hereby pledge my sword to you.”

“Hold on, I’m not king!” Sanghyuk exclaimed, obviously horrified. “I’m— I can’t be king, I—”

“I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but… You  _are_ the next in line for the throne,” Jaehwan tried to say it in the most soothing way possible, even if there was no such thing as a soothing way to tell someone their life was about to change likely for the worse. “You only need to be crowned.”

“And I haven’t been crowned yet, so I’m not the king!” Sanghyuk insisted. “I’m— Fuck, Jaehwan, I’m not ready to be king, I’m not supposed to be king yet!”

 “Hey, easy,” Jaehwan said and stopped all he was doing to place his hands on Sanghyuk’s shoulders, still covered by the dragonbone plate of his armor. “You’re not king just yet, and with everything going on you won’t be king for a while still. But you  _are_ still the rightful heir to the throne, and you need to keep it together from now on. Do you think you can do that?”

Sanghyuk took a deep breath to calm down before answering. “Will it make a difference if I say no?”

“Not really,” Jaehwan said, patting him on the shoulder one last time. “But you won’t be alone in this, you have the best Arcane Advisor looking out for you, and your very own city guard to have your back.”

“Yes, absolutely!” Wonshik immediately agreed.

Like they had rehearsed beforehand, their eyes turned to Hakyeon, Hongbin, and Taekwoon.

Hongbin scoffed. “You’re not my king, _shem_.”

“Uh… I’m from Rivain, so…” Hakyeon trailed off and shrugged. “This is not my country, but congratulations, I guess?”

And then all eyes turned to Taekwoon, who seemed uninterested in the conversation. Seeing that he was the focus of everyone’s attention, he sighed and said, “Human hierarchy and rank mean nothing to me.”

“Huh,” Sanghyuk grunted and frowned as if considering their answers. “Actually, the fact that you three don’t care makes this much less burdensome.”

Hongbin laughed to himself. “You’re welcome. Now can I have my jewel back?”

“Maker’s breath, you’re like one of those birds that can learn to repeat the words they hear too much,” Wonshik groaned. “You’re obviously not getting your precious jewel back, so shut up, Hongbin.”

Hongbin glared at Wonshik, but Jaehwan was fairly certain he could see hurt in his eyes too. Not his problem, though.

Hongbin turned to Taekwoon regardless of Wonshik’s words. “What should we do about the Dalish Wonder? None of us trust him and he still has that thing I can’t talk about not to offend Wonshik’s sensitivities.”

“And he clearly seems to know more than what he’s told us,” Sanghyuk observed. Taekwoon still looked serene despite the conversation not being exactly favorable to him. Or maybe that was just his face.

“Why aren’t you trying to escape?” Hakyeon asked, squinting his eyes suspiciously at Taekwoon. “I think everyone here knows that having your hands tied up wouldn’t stop you from giving us the slip and running away.”

Taekwoon answered Hakyeon’s question with a nonchalant shrug. Nobody was really surprised.

“We’re going to need a plan,” Wonshik said after removing his chest plate, the tunic he was wearing underneath the armor stained with sweat, blood, and dirt. “They saw all of our faces - or, well, except maybe Taekwoon’s - and they’ve seen us together. We can’t stay holed up in here forever.”

“Not with that attitude,” Hongbin quipped. Wonshik ignored him, as did everyone else.

“We should at least try to figure out what is happening. Or what those people want,” Wonshik continued. “Or who are they.”

“What happened tonight looked like a coup to me,” Hakyeon informed, glancing at the prince. “If this is about the throne, then Sanghyuk is not safe anywhere.”

“It  _does_ make sense, cornering everyone in the immediate line for the throne in one place to cut them all down at the same time,” Jaehwan mused, finishing with the gauntlets and moving to unlatch Sanghyuk’s shoulder plates. “But it’s odd. I get the bandits, mercenaries are certainly the best way to achieve such slaughter, but who are those people in black robes? A coup it might have been, but it wasn’t _just_ a coup.”

“We need more information,” Wonshik sighed the words, sounding tired on an existential level. “We’ll have to go back out there.”

“I can sneak back into the castle to see if I can find out something new,” Hongbin said, bouncing his legs up and down where they hung over the chair’s arm and sounding almost bored. “Hakyeon can come with me, he’s done his fair share of sneaking around back in the day.”

“And we have to figure out where to go from here, because like Wonshik said, we can’t stay down here forever,” Sanghyuk added. “We’ll need supplies, weapons—”

“I can get gear and weapons at the guard barracks,” Wonshik said, removing his arm plates. “I have some money saved up as well, we can buy other supplies from the market or on the road.”

“Do you two have any belongings anywhere?” Jaehwan turned to Hongbin and Hakyeon. Hakyeon was the one to reply.

“Yes, our bags are at the place we were staying. If the city is still standing, it should still be there.”

“We can pick it up on our way back,” Hongbin agreed without a fuss, which Jaehwan marked down as progress.

“What about you?” Jaehwan turned to Taekwoon, who looked back at him.

It was strange being near that elf; Jaehwan had noticed since earlier that his skin tingled a little when he was near Taekwoon, but he had pegged it as all the magic in the air at the Necropolis. Now, sitting next to him on the couch, Jaehwan could definitely feel something different about the air around Taekwoon. Was he a mage? No, mages don’t give off the vibes he was getting from Taekwoon. Taekwoon’s energy was much quieter than a mage’s, like wind rustling the leaves of a tree, soft and barely there; the sort of thing you had to truly make an effort to notice.

“I have a few belongings hidden away,” Taekwoon informed. “Should I go retrieve them?”

“I don’t trust him not to run,” Hongbin quickly piped in, glaring at the Dalish. “Maybe he’s playing nice right now to win our trust so he can run away the moment our guards are down.”

Taekwoon chuckled through his nose but said nothing in response to Hongbin’s accusation.

“I can get it, he just needs to tell me where it is,” Hakyeon said, Taekwoon’s attention turning to him.

“The ravens will lead you there.”

“...Ok,” Hakyeon said, but didn’t seem convinced. “I was about to ask where your creepy pets went.”

“They are outside keeping watch.”

“Keeping watch?” Sanghyuk echoed.

“Yes.”

“You know what, I don’t want to know,” Hongbin stated, swinging his legs to the side so he could push himself up. “We should get going before the sun rises, it’s significantly more difficult to sneak around when it’s not dark.”

“True,” Hakyeon agreed, also getting back on his feet. “Do you have a coat I can borrow?”

“Not sure, check the chest,” Jaehwan said as he motioned towards said chest, and Hakyeon happily moved to search for the item he wished. “Now you, Your Royal Highness, you should cover up the scales on your face to make it harder for people to recognize you.”

Sanghyuk made a displeased face at that. “Admit it, you just hate my scales.”

“Sure, whatever, you still have to cover them.”

“Fine, but if I cover them I get to go with Wonshik to get the weapons.”

Jaehwan paused, lips pressed together into a thin line. “Sanghyuk. Are you serious right now?”

“It’s a chance to test my disguise,” Sanghyuk said and grinned up at him, smug, like the little shit he was, and Jaehwan decided that maybe - _maybe_ \- a distraction would do the prince some good.

“Fine, just be careful. It won’t do to have the heir to throne get himself killed over a supply run.”

“Alright, we’ll be on our way,” Hongbin declared, and Jaehwan looked up to find both Hongbin and Hakyeon ready, their daggers at their hips and Hakyeon wearing a coat. “How do we find our way out of here and back?”

“That’s a good question,” Jaehwan said, turning his attention back to finishing unlatching Sanghyuk’s armor. “I could give you a map, but I don’t trust you.”

“Then how are we supposed to—” Hongbin started but Jaehwan quickly interrupted him.

“I didn’t say I wouldn’t help,” he said. “I’ll make you a guide, just one moment.”

By then, Wonshik was done with his armor and moving to change his clothes behind the screens, and Hakyeon was pacing around looking at Jaehwan’s book collection absently. That little group of theirs wasn’t that bad if they were quiet, Jaehwan decided.

It took several minutes to finish helping Sanghyuk with his armor - since the brat didn’t lift a finger to help -, conjure a little wisp to guide Hongbin and Hakyeon out of the catacombs through the more convenient entrance, bandage Sanghyuk’s face to cover up the scales on its left side, and find the map to guide Sanghyuk and Wonshik back to his hiding place.

And then he was left alone with Taekwoon.

They stared at each other for a long while, almost as if measuring one another. Taekwoon was definitely not just any Dalish elf and he was most definitely hiding something. Something big. He could feel it in the way his skin was tingling.

Jaehwan held Taekwoon’s gaze for a moment longer before he asked in a low voice, “What are you?”

Taekwoon blinked slowly at the question, not moving his eyes away, and smiled.

✶✶✶

 

One thing Hakyeon didn’t miss from his Raider days was sneaking around. He wasn’t good at sneaking, never had been; he only did it because he  _had_ to. Little things about working mainly as a smuggler that he never truly got used to.

Hongbin couldn’t say the same, Hakyeon figured. Hongbin had been born to be sneaky. Hongbin certainly suited that lifestyle much better than Hakyeon ever did.

Jaehwan’s little guide served its purpose and led them to the best entryway, one close to the castle but not  _too_ close in order not to raise any alarms. They got out at a rundown alleyway that smelled strongly like fish and caused them both to cover their noses and mouths as they made their way out into the main street. It was still dark, but judging from the position of the moons in the sky, it wouldn’t continue as such for much longer.

Hakyeon let Hongbin take the lead, following him through shadows, under awnings and above rooftops. Looking around, Hakyeon didn’t see any of the slaughter he was sure had happened in the streets; there were chaos and signs of destruction everywhere, but the ground was free of blood or bodies. The goal of whoever was behind it seemed to be only to cause havoc, create a distraction, and not to murder the civilians.

Smoke and mirrors, perhaps, to hide the real reason behind the massacre at the Autumn Ball.

There were still a few bandits wandering up and down the streets, and judging from the way they would look around and stretch their necks, Hakyeon didn’t take very long to figure out they were probably searching for them - or, well, Sanghyuk, but as they were seen with Sanghyuk, it would not be a surprise if the mercenaries had them on their hit list as well.

Hakyeon followed Hongbin to a low rooftop, near the barracks of Castrum Draconis. There were lights inside, and Hakyeon could hear faint voices from within; the front of the castle seemed to have stopped burning, but black smoke was still swirling lazily to the night sky, the air around that entire area thick to the point it was hard to breathe. There was, on the corner of the courtyard, a pile of what seemed to be charred human remains, bones and ash laid out under the night sky to be, presumably, handled by the appropriate parties. Hakyeon had to wonder if those remains would end up down at the catacombs. Likely.

Getting closer would be dangerous, so they decided to settle down at the darker side of that rooftop to wait for someone to come out, and, if nobody did, they would find another perch with a better view. Simple enough.

Hakyeon sat down on the old tiles and hugged his knees tight against his body, burrowing himself as far as he could into the coat he’d found inside Jaehwan’s chest. For someone of his status, Jaehwan was a really nice person. He’d have to thank him later once they returned from the scouting mission.

Hearing the flapping of wings above, Hakyeon looked up to be met with one of Taekwoon’s creepy ravens, the bird staring at him intently. Hakyeon shuddered.

“Ugh, why are these ravens so creepy?”

Hongbin scoffed. “Not sure why you find them creepy when you clearly have the hots for their owner.”

The heat that rose to Hakyeon’s cheeks would be welcome at any other time to fight the cold weather, but not at that particular moment. “I don’t have the hots for their owner, I don’t even know him.”

“You don’t have to know a person to be attracted to them, and you are  _so_ attracted to the Dalish Wonder,” Hongbin laughed as he spoke, while Hakyeon tried his best not appear as flustered as he felt.

“Says the idiot ready to jump the guardsman.”

That stopped Hongbin’s laughter very quickly. “I’m not talking about Wonshik.”

“You’re so touchy about him,” Hakyeon commented, eyes narrowed as he watched Hongbin. Hongbin was clearly trying to ignore him. “Old flame?”

Hakyeon thought he saw one of the corners of Hongbin’s mouth twitch. “The only flame.”

Hakyeon sighed - if he was one thing, it was a hopeless romantic. “You can’t say something like that and expect me to drop the subject.”

Hongbin chuckled, the sound honest and almost shy. It was refreshing to see that side of Hongbin - some of his old crew even joked his friend didn’t have a heart, only a block of ice behind his ribcage. “Maybe I’ll tell you about it someday. Not today, though.”

“Very well, I’ll stop prying,” Hakyeon said and shot his friend a side smile. “It’ll be better to watch this unfold from the sidelines anyways, we’ll be spending a lot of time around your poor men’s knight.”

“Mhm, seems like it,” Hongbin agreed. “But I’m afraid nothing will ‘unfold’.”

“Always so negative,” Hakyeon said with a cluck of his tongue, turning his focus to the raven sitting atop the nearby chimney. “That thing is still staring at us.”

Hongbin followed Hakyeon’s line of sight but didn’t give the raven much of his attention before he turned back to watch the courtyard. “It’s just a raven. You’re overly conscious of it because it belongs to your pretty elf.”

“He’s not my pretty elf! I mean, he’s pretty, but he’s not mine! I— I mean— Sh-shut up, Hongbin.”

Hongbin snickered at that, and both of them fell silent for a while, keeping watch over the castle’s courtyard and its bodies. If not for the pile of dead people, the smoke and the general destruction of property, that night would be a very beautiful one - the sky was clear of clouds and the stars were sparkling, moonlight washing over the land bathing everything in a faint glow. Alas, there were dead bodies, smoke, destruction, and Hakyeon would have to return to an underground secret room from where he couldn’t see the sky.

“I’m sorry.”

Hongbin’s quiet voice brought Hakyeon back to the moment and made him turn to look at his friend. “What for?”

“For dragging you into this,” Hongbin said, his eyes were distant, lost somewhere in the courtyard ahead. Likely on the pile of remains.

“You couldn’t know things would turn out like this. It’s not your fault.”

Hongbin huffed a small chuckle. “You really need to stop enabling my tendency of making poor life choices.”

“I could tell you the exact same thing, since the decision of staying was entirely mine,” Hakyeon smartly replied, to which Hongbin could only sigh, defeated.

“You have a point.”

“Stop blaming yourself, Binnie. It won’t change what happened and it won’t do anybody any good,” he said. Hongbin was opening his mouth to argue, but Hakyeon quickly interrupted him before he could make a sound. “You’re already on edge enough as it is. It’s not like you to lose your composure so quick, and I have lost count of many times it happened tonight alone.”

“Yeah, well, if you haven’t noticed things aren’t exactly going superb,” Hongbin snided.

Rolling his eyes fondly, Hakyeon replied, “I know, Bin. Just… Remember to breathe.”

Hongbin was quiet for a moment, expression thoughtful. Hakyeon simply waited for his friend to gather his thoughts. “Do you ever feel like things used to be easier in the past? Your head clearer, your goals set.”

Hakyeon could only grin mirthlessly as his friend. “Having a clear head and your goals set is easy to do when you’re fresh out of training and have no idea what’s in store for you. Experience is a double-edged blade,” Hakyeon said, wise, before he added with even more wisdom, “And we both know that everything is easy, but only up until the point you bring your feelings into it.”

Hongbin made a noise at the back of his throat, but didn’t continue the conversation as something caught his attention before he could reply to Hakyeon properly. Hakyeon followed his friend’s line of sight, seeing that someone had opened the door to the barracks and was stepping out into the courtyard; Hakyeon couldn’t see their faces from where he was standing, and not only because of the distance - there were two people there, and both of them were wearing black robes, hoods over their heads hanging over their features.

Hakyeon shifted carefully on the rooftop, already getting ready to move. “We should get closer to hear what they’re saying.”

His suggestion seemed to fall on deaf ears, for Hongbin didn’t react in any way to the words; he just sat there, eyes narrowed and mouth twisted, obviously seeing something much different from what Hakyeon was seeing.

“Hongbin?” Hakyeon called, and, again, Hongbin didn’t reply. “Hongbin, we’re wasting time we should—”

“Yeonie,” Hongbin finally said, interrupting Hakyeon’s sentence. “You should go get our packs from the hostel and return to the catacombs. I’ll meet you there.”

“But… Shouldn’t we stay together?” Hakyeon asked, uncertain and meek in face of the sudden change of plans.

“Uh, yeah, no offense, Hakyeonie, but… Your stealth leaves a lot to be desired,” Hongbin said playfully and Hakyeon swatted him on the arm. “Go on, I’ll be fine.”

Hakyeon didn’t leave right away, squinting at Hongbin suspiciously for a few more seconds before relenting and getting up to leave with a resigned sigh. The raven promptly took flight to follow him, and in some way, despite how creepy that bird was, it did help him feel a little less alone in the dark streets of that unfamiliar land.

Hongbin had been wrong to say he was conscious of the bird because of Taekwoon. He wasn’t. The bird was creepy, it looked like it knew too much and was far too smart to be a normal raven. It had nothing to do with Taekwoon - or how pretty he was.

“Hey, bird,” Hakyeon called, looking up at the bird that had landed on a nearby lamppost. “I’m going to get my own stuff first, so you can just sit down somewhere to wait, alright?”

The bird creepily tilted its creepy head this way and that, watching Hakyeon with its creepy beady eyes for a moment too long, long enough to make Hakyeon want to crawl out of his skin.

He didn’t crawl out of his skin, but he did almost jump out of it when the raven decided that the ‘somewhere’ it wanted to sit down on was Hakyeon’s shoulder.

 

✶✶✶

 

Sanghyuk sighed inside the closet where Wonshik had shoved him into - which was unnecessary and a little rude - and tried to figure out what was going on outside through the tiny gap between the doors. There was a lot of movement, guards walking back and forth around the cramped room, some hanging about in their bunks talking, and it was too much noise to make out any particular conversation, much less a useful one.

It gave him too much time to think.

The city guard barracks were definitely not what Sanghyuk was expecting. It was much smaller than he thought it would be, for one, and it smelled funny. Like feet, maybe. Dirty, stinky feet. He sort of wanted to ask Wonshik why did the entire place smelled like that, but he figured that would probably be offensive.

Sanghyuk was uncomfortable, and not only because of the smell or the fact he was hiding in a closet - the bandages Jaehwan had wrapped around his face itched and the shoulders of the shirt he’d borrowed were too narrow for him. And more than the physical discomfort, Sanghyuk was, in the lack of a better word, distraught.

He’d watched his mother be murdered that night. He’d watched his home be torn apart and burnt. He watched Jaehwan take a dagger to the gut, and later had to stab the mage himself.

It was too much, far too much to take in on the same night, and yet he had no choice but to handle it and keep it together. He had practice on the keeping it together part. The handling it, eh. Not so much. Sanghyuk didn’t usually— _Handle_. Any troubles came rolling down the hill his way, he would just find someone else to take the hit for him. He was the crown prince, he could do that.

There was nobody to take that particular hit for him. There was nobody around to feel his pain for him, to grieve in his instead, to fight his battles. He kept thinking about Jaehwan and how well he was dealing with everything, how his advisor just— Just seemed to know what to do. All through that terrible night, from start to finish, Jaehwan had led him out of harm’s way and into safety. Despite all the horrors they had witnessed, all the carnage and blood, in no moment did Jaehwan give in to panic, taking everything in stride and doing the best he could. Always ready, always good, so good at everything.

And now Jaehwan was all he had left.

Jaehwan had, in his indirectly direct ways, told him that he cared. Jaehwan cared about him. Sanghyuk felt the spark of hope in his heart when he heard it, but now, in the too small closet at the guard barracks that smelled like feet, Sanghyuk was beginning to doubt.

How much of that caring was towards him, Sanghyuk the Person, and how much of it was towards Sanghyuk the Prince. The son of Jaehwan’s employers, those who had put a roof over his head and food on his plate, who offered Jaehwan a life of luxury he had never known and would never have known otherwise; now Sanghyuk was the only one left and _he_ was Jaehwan’s employer. He was the one holding the power over Jaehwan’s future. He didn’t have a choice in the matter before, but now he had the power to dismiss Jaehwan at any given time.

Jaehwan was a smart person. He had probably figured that out already, and that made everything else make sense - Jaehwan was being far too nice with him that night. Was it for fear or losing everything or was it out of actual concern? Was Jaehwan worried for his own future or was he worried about Sanghyuk?

It didn’t help to find out Jaehwan had basically built himself a secret hideaway like some fugitive.

Sanghyuk didn’t want to doubt Jaehwan’s intentions like that, felt almost dirty for doing so, but— He just had to wonder about it. Jaehwan— Jaehwan tolerated him. Put up with him and his antics, tried to steer Sanghyuk in the right direction as it was his job, but he couldn’t tell if Jaehwan liked him as a person. Caring about him, yes, he said he cared and Sanghyuk believed him, but they had spent the majority of their adolescence together; spending so many years around a person, it’s impossible not to come to care about them. Even if just a little.

And then there was the matter with his blood magic. Sanghyuk never actively suspected Jaehwan of being a blood mage, but it didn’t come as a surprise to him either to find out that he was one.

He also didn’t lie when he told Jaehwan he thought it was hot. It was.

But— It bothered him. A lot. Not because of the illegal magic part, but because he had watched Jaehwan bleed for it. He saw Jaehwan suffer through various wounds during that night to fuel his spells, and that— _That_ was what discomfited him the most.

Maker, he was turning into such a sap.

He had lost both his parents that night. When he saw Jaehwan be stabbed right before his eyes, Sanghyuk truly believed for a terrible, horrifying moment that he would lose everyone he loved in the span of five minutes. Luck, divine intervention, chance, whatever it had been, he still had Jaehwan.

He still had Jaehwan.

He had to make that count. He couldn’t repair his fractured relations with his parents, for they were dead and gone, turned to ash and charred bone on the floor of their home. It was too late. But he still had Jaehwan. He had to make it right, he had to find a way to fix the mess that was their relationship to build something better, to work towards a future where he didn’t need to tease and antagonize Jaehwan at every turn. A future where they could, maybe, be friends. Or friendly, at the very least.

A future where he could make Jaehwan smile more, laugh more, instead of constantly frown. He had such a beautiful smile.

The sound of footsteps approaching interrupted Sanghyuk from finishing his plans for the future, and again he tried to peek through the thin little gap between the doors to figure out what was going on outside. One of the people outside was definitely Wonshik, he could recognize the black hair falling over his forehead and his tiny mouth. The other he didn’t know, but they seemed to be friends considering the way they were speaking to each other.

“Something’s not right,” the stranger was saying, while Wonshik seemed to be fussing with something on the floor - a traveling pack? It would make sense. “First the deal at the Castrum, now you’re leaving in a hurry?”

“It’s complicated and I don’t really have the time to explain right now,” Wonshik spoke in his deep rumbling voice. Sanghyuk rather liked his voice. “Something came up and I have to leave, when I come back I’ll tell you everything.”

“At least tell me you’re not involved in whatever went down tonight,” the stranger continued, and that caused Wonshik to stop dealing with the packs to give the other guard his full attention.

“I’m not, I was caught unawares just like everyone else,” Wonshik promised. “I— Did you by any chance go back to the castle, Hyunsik?”

“I did, me and a couple of the others entered the ballroom to see if there was anyone left alive,” the other guard - Hyunsik - replied. “We couldn’t stay long, every templar around came crawling out of the woodwork to shoo us out.”

Sanghyuk frowned at the information at the same time Wonshik echoed, “Templars?”

“Yeah, since the king and queen are dead and the prince is missing, Knight-Commander Choi took over the country’s leadership. His templars are everywhere.”

Wonshik made an odd noise with his throat outside, which was strangely relatable at that very moment. “This keeps getting better and better.” There was a pause before Wonshik spoke again, this time so quietly that Sanghyuk could barely hear him. “When you entered the ballroom… Did you see Jimin in there?”

Hyunsik’s silence was answer enough.

Sanghyuk closed his eyes and breathed slowly, trying to keep himself steady. So much death, senseless and cruel; his parents, the court, Wonshik’s friend, all gone, all dead. When he found out who was behind it all, he would tear them apart limb by limb.

He breathed again, deep and slow. He couldn’t lose control, couldn’t let the dragon blood in him awaken and betray his disguise. He could cover his scales - his eyes would always give him away.

“I’m so sorry, Wonshik,” Hyunsik spoke again after what felt like an eternity. “I know you two were close.”

“I was hoping she had escaped somehow. I suppose it was too much to expect, considering.”

“I’m really sorry.”

Another stretch of silence, shorter this time. “Thank you, but I’ll be alright. What else did you see?”

“Not much, the templars kicked us out of there really quickly,” Hyunsik said. “I just saw them moving all the bodies outside. Ah! And there were some weird people wearing black robes too. It was strange, but they didn’t seem to be doing much, just watching everything from outside like everyone else.”

Sanghyuk felt a shiver run up his spine at the mention of the robed people. He didn’t know who they were or what they wanted, but their presence was ominous; Sanghyuk’s intuition was telling him that they were involved in the massacre. Maybe even behind the whole thing.

But who in the Maker’s name were they? Mages? No, maybe not, just because they were wearing robes it didn’t mean they were mages. Robes are clothes, anyone can put clothes on. Or maybe _some_ of them were mages but not all?

“One more thing, Hyunsik,” Wonshik spoke and Sanghyuk interrupted his line of thought to pay attention. “The royal knights… Where were they during the massacre?”

“All dead,” Hyunsik answered promptly with a soft exhalation of air. Sanghyuk could tell the man was tired. “I didn’t see it personally but a group of the others went to check the barracks and the battlements. They said all the knights were piled up in a room in only their undergarments. They think they were killed by blood magic because there were blood trails coming out of their eyes, mouths, and ears.”

Sanghyuk closed his eyes again. Blood magic. Jaehwan. But Jaehwan couldn’t be involved, could he? No, there was absolutely no way, he would not start suspecting his advisor, the only close person he had left. It wasn’t Jaehwan.

Too late. The seed of distrust had been planted.

“So whoever it was, they killed the guards and stole their armor to enter the castle unnoticed?” Wonshik summed up. Hyunsik just hummed to confirm. “By the Maker, the ones who did this must be well organized to be able to pull something like that off.”

“Everything about this is fishy,” Hyunsik said. “And now the Templars… Those assholes simply arrived like they owned the place and stopped us from doing our damned jobs, they pretty much kicked us out like we were a bunch of dogs who got into the larder.”

“Yeah, it’s all really weird,” Wonshik agreed. “I have to get going, thanks for the info, Hyunsik.”

“Anytime, and Wonshik?” A pause. “Whatever you got yourself mixed up with, be careful. And remember that all of us here got your back if you ever need us.”

“Thank you. I— I might have to take you up on that.”

Sanghyuk saw them move outside, perhaps shaking hands or giving each other a hug - it was hard to tell which. It lasted only a couple seconds and Hyunsik walked away, leaving Wonshik alone to continue gathering his belongings.

“Psst,” Sanghyuk hissed between the gap, startling Wonshik. He only had time to bite his lips not to laugh out loud before Wonshik opened the doors and urged him out.

“Come on, we have to move before someone sees you,” Wonshik said in a whisper.

“But I’m wearing this detection-proof disguise,” Sanghyuk pointed at the bandages on his face, grinning at Wonshik who could only sigh.

“Great, we should still be quick before someone else slows us down,” Wonshik continued, gathering the several traveling packs he had arranged. It did explain why he took so long, at least. “May you help with these, my king?”

“I’m not king—”

“My _prince_ , sorry.”

“It’s alright, and yes, I can absolutely help,” Sanghyuk said and promptly gathered half of the packs easily, hooking a few on his shoulders and holding the rest in his arms. Wonshik seemed impressed.

Sanghyuk tried not to look too smug.

“Come on, let’s go,” Wonshik said after he also got hold of the remaining packs - albeit not as easily as Sanghyuk - and began leading the way out around the fringes of the room.

“Wonshik?” Sanghyuk called in a small voice. “I’m really sorry about your friend.”

Wonshik’s footsteps faltered for a moment, but he didn’t stop walking as he looked back over his shoulder at Sanghyuk and smiled a sad little smile.

“Thank you, Your Highness.”

 

✶✶✶

 

Hakyeon somehow made it back to Jaehwan’s hiding place, all his and Hongbin’s packs in tow, besides Taekwoon’s which didn’t count much at all - he didn’t have much in the ways of material possessions. A few weapons, a few changes of clothes, a couple of tools, and a bedroll. It seemed like a very ‘Dalish’ thing to do, to travel so light, but somehow Hakyeon didn’t think the elf didn’t own much for the sake of traveling a lot. No, it was something else. Probably.

Or maybe it was exactly for traveling a lot and Hakyeon was just being an ass. That could be it, too.

He dropped all the baggage on the floor before he began patting the wall in search of the switch. He hadn’t seen Jaehwan open the door, but he knew it had something to do with the wall. That guiding wisp Jaehwan made for them didn’t help much with that part, simply flickering off into nonexistence once it delivered him to his destination.

As it turned out, he didn’t need to bother with that. Less than five seconds after he started searching for the mechanism to open the door, said door shifted in front of him, blowing dust up to his face and making him cough. He thought he’d hit the switch to open it at first, but the door was pushed open and Jaehwan peeked his head out.

“Oh, there you are!” Jaehwan greeted with a smile before looking around. “Where’s Hongbin?”

“He’s still spying on the weird people in robes,” Hakyeon informed, hauling the traveling packs from the floor to move them inside. “How’d you know I was here?”

“I have wards in place, of course,” Jaehwan explained, stepping aside to allow Hakyeon through before pulling the door closed behind them. “And good to know my guide worked, I wasn’t sure it would.”

Hakyeon decided not to comment on how distressing that was. “It disappeared after I got here, will Hongbin be alright?”

“Oh, he’ll be fine,” Jaehwan said with a dismissing gesture with his hand. “The guide was attuned to both of you, there should be another one waiting for Hongbin.”

“That’s a relief.”

“Don’t worry, I got you,” Jaehwan replied, gave him a brief pat on the shoulder and moved back to the couch to sit next to the Dalish again. “I’m not let any of our little band of mortal enemies get lost in the spooky catacombs, right, Daeguni?”

Hakyeon frowned. “Daeguni?”

“Yes! Daeguni!” Jaehwan hooked an arm around Taekwoon’s shoulders and grinned widely, while Taekwoon had a placid smile on his face. Hakyeon’s frown only deepened.

He had been gone for what, a couple of hours, two or three at the most, and… Jaehwan and Taekwoon were suddenly best friends? Something wasn’t right, something definitely was not ri—

“Is he untied?” Hakyeon asked after noticing Taekwoon was holding a large tome in his hands, which were free as free can be. “Why is the suspicious Dalish elf untied?”

“Because Daeguni is not our enemy and there’s no reason for him to be bound.”

“How do you know he’s not the enemy!?”

“He and I had a nice long talk while we were waiting, right, Daeguni?” Jaehwan turned to Taekwoon, who nodded to confirm his words. “He’s super chatty once he gets used to you, you should try talking to him more.”

Hakyeon pursed his lips and inhaled long and deep through his nose. Counted from one to ten slowly. Exhaled even more slowly. “Ok. Alright, cool.” He nodded once, twice. “Now I’m tying him up again.”

“But why?” Jaehwan protested with a sizable pout. “Daeguni didn’t do anything wrong!”

“Uhm… He attacked Hongbin, stole his things, acted suspiciously all night, and now he obviously managed to get into your head, that qualifies as ‘something wrong’ to me,” Hakyeon argued, already moving to Jaehwan’s chest where he thought he saw a length of twine. “Unless he decides to make an effort to appear more trustworthy, I’m not taking any chances.”

“I’m serious, Daeguni is not our enemy,” Jaehwan continued trying to convince Hakyeon of the elf’s alleged innocence. “He wants to help, really!”

“Yeah?” Hakyeon asked. He located the twine, which was more than enough to tie up Taekwoon, and moved to stand in front of him. “Then he can tell me that himself.”

Hakyeon crossed his arms, hip cocked to the side as he stared the Dalish down. Taekwoon didn’t look fazed by the confrontation and just stared back, that placid smile still on his face, feline eyes reflecting the lights of the candles. The flames seemed to dance inside his irises, mesmerizingly so, and Hakyeon decided that maybe playing stare down with a suspicious character, no matter how handsome, was not a very good idea.

As Taekwoon didn’t say anything, Hakyeon turned to look at Jaehwan. “See? Suspicious!”

Hakyeon immediately began tying the Dalish up with the twine, again ensuring the binds were tight enough to keep him from breaking free but not tight enough to hurt him. Once more, he could feel Taekwoon’s eyes on him all the while as he checked the knot, and shifted his gaze to meet the elf’s to, maybe, intimidate him into not staring at him like that anymore. Hakyeon felt himself flush the moment they made eye contact but glared his way through it, hoping the Dalish would interpret the blush as him being angry and not flustered.

Didn’t work.

“What are you smiling about?” he asked and Taekwoon shrugged, his smile widening the slightest bit. Hakyeon groaned. “You are impossible.”

“I am _so_ sorry, Daeguni. I’m sure you’ll win them over eventually,” Jaehwan said, giving the elf little pats on the shoulder to comfort him, but the last thing Taekwoon needed was to be comforted, apparently.

“It’s alright. It’s amusing.”

Hakyeon had to bite down on his tongue not to scream in frustration.

 

✶✶✶

 

Hongbin wasn’t there when Wonshik and Sanghyuk made it back, and Wonshik thought it was a good thing - he almost hoped Hongbin had given up on getting his jewel back and left, gone far far away back to wherever he’d come from.

Jimin was dead.

The logical side of him understood that Hongbin wasn’t directly responsible for Jimin’s fate; he wasn’t the one who killed her, however her death came to be - he didn’t want to know. In his anger, though, Wonshik could only see Jimin’s death as a domino effect that started with Hongbin’s return. If not for Hongbin coming back and messing up his priorities, Jimin would be alive. He could have saved her. If Hongbin wasn’t there, it would be Jimin dancing with him in that balcony under the moonlight. When the attack happened, she would have been with him, safe. He would have made sure she survived, that she left Castrum Draconis alive.

And beyond the logic and the anger, there was that little voice telling him it was his fault. His and only his, that he was trying to push the fault onto Hongbin’s shoulders to stay in denial of his own guilt.

Because, when all was said and done, it was Wonshik who made the choice to stay with Hongbin. He could have turned around and walked away with Jimin still on his arm when he saw Hongbin at the balcony. He could have said no to Hongbin’s request to dance. He could have chosen to return to the ballroom to help instead of chasing Hongbin into trouble.

And the worst of it all was, if given a second chance, Wonshik would make the same choices again.

Hongbin was going to leave. It was fact. Hongbin hated Nevarra when he left and he still hated his birthnation, him staying was never in the cards. And that talk of taking Wonshik along— That sounded too good to be true. Over a decade with no word from him, and suddenly Hongbin showed up wishing to reconnect? Wonshik was not buying it.

And he had changed so much. He could barely recognize the boy who would climb trees to find the best fruits for Wonshik, who taught him how to fish in the Minanter River with sticks and twine, the boy who had the biggest, brightest and most innocent eyes he’d ever seen. The boy with whom he had shared his first kiss under the paper lanterns hanging from the Vhenadahl. The boy who left later that same night and disappeared for the next twelve years.

Wonshik was sitting on a chair in the corner of the room, keeping himself away from the others. Hakyeon was sitting on the same armchair Hongbin had been occupying earlier, glaring daggers at Taekwoon from the corners of his eyes; Taekwoon, on the other hand, had his bound hands hanging between his legs with the way he’d perched on the couch, head tilted back and eyes closed as if he was one step away from falling asleep - if he wasn’t sleeping already; Jaehwan was searching for something amongst the many books he had stored in his secret room, while Sanghyuk was just idly hovering around the mage, like a moth hypnotized by the flickering flame of a candle.

That was the state of affairs when Hongbin returned from, as Hakyeon had put it, ‘playing espionage with the robed people’. Nobody had to open the door for him, since Hongbin had learned how to do it from watching Jaehwan opening it when they first arrived, and as soon as the door opened it was closed again. Hongbin didn’t seem any worse for the wear, despite the way his shoulders were sagging due to, Wonshik assumed, exhaustion.

Wonshik didn’t know if he should feel relieved or bitter with the fact he had come back at all.

“Ah, look who finally decided to join us,” Hakyeon teased, good-natured, but Hongbin didn’t reply with anything more than a grunt before he plopped down next to Hakyeon in the armchair; Hongbin ended up half-sitting on top of Hakyeon, as the chair was not made to hold two people at once. “Augh, at least give me a heads up next time before I had to support the weight of your fat ass.”

“Yeah, yeah, listen,” Hongbin started, being kind enough to wait to continue until Jaehwan had taken a seat next to Taekwoon and Sanghyuk had squeezed himself between Jaehwan and the arm of the couch, the tight space making it so both prince and advisor were squished next to each other. “Robed people are definitely involved in what happened tonight, I overheard them talking about how the bandits they hired failed in killing the prince.”

“Sounds peachy,” Sanghyuk deadpanned. “So I guess I’m really not safe, huh.”

“That’s not new information, Your Highness,” Jaehwan snarked under his breath. “And move away a little, your bony shoulder is poking me.”

“And!” Hongbin continued, raising his voice a little to interrupt those two before they descended into another bickering session. “They are also after the brooch.”

There was a collective silence following that statement. Wonshik looked around the room, taking in each of the faces of his new companions, and found that other than Hakyeon and Sanghyuk - and himself, but he wasn’t looking at a mirror to check if his expression was the same as the others’ - Jaehwan and Taekwoon didn’t seem surprised with the news.

And he wasn’t the only one to notice that, for Sanghyuk scoffed and said, “You could at least fake a little shock, Jaehwan.”

Jaehwan chewed on his lips for a moment, a thoughtful scowl on his face, and to Wonshik’s - and Sanghyuk’s and Hongbin’s - surprise, turned to the Dalish.

“Daeguni,” Jaehwan said, and Taekwoon opened his eyes to give Jaehwan his attention. “You should tell them what you told me.” After a brief pause, he added. “About the jewel.”

Taekwoon tilted his head to the side, considering. Wonshik wanted to ask them at which point during that night did they become so close, but he figured that was a topic best left to be discussed later, when things weren’t so— Tense.

“Daeguni?” Jaehwan prompted gently, and, with a sigh, Taekwoon finally agreed with a nod.

Taekwoon didn’t start speaking right away, gathering his thoughts on the matter for a moment. Nobody tried to rush him, thank the Maker, and Wonshik was more than happy to wait. After the amount of noise his ears had to endure that night, the stretch of silence was a welcome relief.

His eyes flickered towards Hongbin for a moment, to the stony set of his facial features, carefully schooled into a neutral expression, giving nothing away.

Wonshik didn’t know who that was. Who was that stranger wearing his first love’s skin.

Finally, after about a minute, Taekwoon raised his eyes and, glancing at each of the people in the room, asked a question.

“What do you know about the Old Gods?”

 

✶

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (if anyone was wondering, aquae lucidius is a beverage made from wyvern poison and is said to be so strong that you will "see purple dragons in the sky for days")
> 
> GUYS, LOOK! tumblr user kimwabi made tarot cards for [sanghyuk](https://kimwabi.tumblr.com/post/176723857839/sanghyuks-dragon-age-tarot-card-for-ghostlike91) and [hakyeon](https://kimwabi.tumblr.com/post/176747326774/hakyeons-dragon-age-tarot-card-for-ghostlike91)!! i'm so in love with these, look at the cha bling, look at hyogi scales ♡♡♡
> 
> also!! that guide i've been talking about is finally up! it's not complete yet, for now i only added the topics i've received the most questions about, but i'll update it with time with more stuff. to avoid spoilers i'll add the link to the notes that stay at the end of the work, so it'll be always at the end of the latest chapter.
> 
> as always, thank you so much for all the kudos and comments ♡  
> any questions, doubts, suggestions, or if you just want to toss your theories at me or scream about vixx, hmu here on the comments, on my [twitter](https://twitter.com/ghostlike91) or on [tumblr](https://ghostlike91.tumblr.com/), where you can do it anonymously!
> 
> hope you enjoyed this chapter, i'll try not to take too long with the next update ♡


	5. To Any Lengths

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~~let me tell ya, i'm not sure if i am relieved or disappointed for the lack of jokes about sanghyuk coming out of the closet on the previous chapter.~~
> 
>  
> 
> anyways! i was going to wait until friday to post this chapter, but i want to cheer up [lascif](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lascif/pseuds/lascif), who's been having a rough time lately. please smile, cas.
> 
> (and just in case, please know that a mabari is a dog. ok, let's get to it.)

✶

 

“What do you know about the Old Gods?”

The question got them all stunned into silence with the sheer surprise of it. Old Gods. Not something Sanghyuk was expecting to hear about that night, even less as an opening topic leading up to whatever was the reason the jewel his mother had given him was so valuable. Sanghyuk didn’t want to think about how only a few hours earlier his mother had been nagging him as she pinned that damned brooch to his sash, and now… Now she was gone, never to come back.

Sanghyuk lowered his eyes and forced himself not to think about it.

“Uh…” Wonshik was the first to break the silence with his own knowledge on the Old Gods. “They’re… Big dragons from Tevinter?”

“They cause the Blights?” Hakyeon tried also.

Hongbin scoffed. “They’re just legends, what does it matter anyway? ‘Gods’ are just things that happen to be slightly stronger than everyone else, nothing to lose sleep over.”

“I don’t know, I think dragons are pretty cool,” Sanghyuk said, trying to hide his previous emotions with a chipper remark, to which Jaehwan sighed next to him.

Jaehwan was so close, the mage’s left side touching the entire extension of Sanghyuk’s right, arm against arm, leg against leg, hip against hip. Sanghyuk couldn’t remember a situation where he had to be so close to Jaehwan, much less for several minutes like it was the case. The mage was still wearing his ruined red robes, the material soft against the back of his hand; he could feel the warmth of the mage’s body leaking through the fine fabric, could even catch a little whiff of his scent under the smell of smoke and blood still sticking to his clothes - Jaehwan had always smelled like one of the herbs he used to craft his potions. It was a flower with a red center, if he could recall correctly— Embrium. Yes. Jaehwan smelled like embrium. Green petals with a blood red center.

Blood. It all seemed to constantly come down to blood with Jaehwan, didn’t it?

“Everyone is correct! Well, sort ofm” Jaehwan said, scowling for a moment as he sifted through his thoughts. Sanghyuk found the expression cute. “Old Gods _are_ big dragons from Tevinter, and they  _are_ partially responsible for the Blights, although that’s more the darkspawn than the actual dragons. And Hongbin is right too in his rather cynical way of seeing the world, partially.”

“And the jewel is somehow related to Old Gods?” Hakyeon asked directly to Taekwoon, who nodded briefly to confirm. “How do you know that?”

“A little bird told me,” Taekwoon deadpanned and grinned at the sour expression on Hakyeon’s face.

“Daeguni, play nice,” Jaehwan said and gave Taekwoon’s arm a pat. Sanghyuk tried to ignore the little sting of jealousy it caused him.

Taekwoon glanced at Jaehwan, looking uninterested and mildly inconvenienced, before he turned to Hakyeon again. “The people in robes. I have been tracking them for a while.”

“Who are they and why did they kill my family?” Sanghyuk immediately asked, forgetting the jealousy in the midst of the anger and grief that boiled up inside him.

Taekwoon turned his dark eyes to him. It unsettled Sanghyuk some, and it was with conscious effort that he didn’t flinch. “I’m afraid ‘why’ is a question I cannot answer. I know they are cultists who call themselves ‘Somnavaris’.”

“That sounds dreadfully Tevinter,” Hongbin snided.

Taekwoon turned to him with an eyebrow raised. “Because it _is_ Tevinter.”

“And what kind of cult are they?” Wonshik asked, interrupting what was building up to be yet another bickering session.

“They—” Taekwoon paused for a moment, his voice cracking a little. He cleared his throat, wincing, and continued with his voice sounding a little rough around the edges. “They worship one of the Old Gods.”

“Which one?”

“I haven’t discovered that yet,” Taekwoon answered. “All I know is that—” He paused again, coughing a little, and Jaehwan tutted and wiggled his way out of the couch to move to the desk at the far side of the room. Sanghyuk immediately mourned the loss of warmth.

“You poor thing, I’ll see if I can whip something up to soothe your throat.”

Sanghyuk tried to keep his expression neutral when he all he wanted to do was to pout like a bratty toddler with all the attention Jaehwan seemed to be giving the Dalish. His eyes met Hongbin’s, and what was once a neutral expression turned thunderous at the sight of the amused expression on the elf’s face. Damn him, Sanghyuk had forgotten about how Hongbin had noticed his feelings for Jaehwan during the party.

“Thank you,” Taekwoon spoke with a voice even softer than before, just a little higher than a whisper to avoid the strain on his throat. Jaehwan just smiled and made a dismissive gesture with his hand, busying himself with searching for the ingredients he’d need amongst his belongings.

“You were saying?” Sanghyuk urged, dragging Taekwoon’s attention back to him and the matter at hand, instead of Jaehwan.

“They have been after the jewel for a while,” Taekwoon continued the previous topic, still whispering as to spare his vocal cords. “I intercepted a few of their correspondence, but couldn’t decipher the meaning; they communicate in a code. The best I could do was eavesdrop and go through their belongings for information.”

“You’re a very sneaky Dalish elf,” Hakyeon said, eyes narrowed suspiciously at Taekwoon. Taekwoon simply looked back at Hakyeon with a little ghost of a smile playing on his lips.

“I think it’s safe to rule out the five Old Gods who are already dead. No point in worshipping something that is gone,” Jaehwan said from where he was standing behind his desk, mixing something inside a rustic wooden cup. “And if the cult is this active, my guess is that the God in question is the supposed next one to become an Archdemon, which is Razikale.”

“Razikale is the dragon of…” Sanghyuk trailed off as he tried fishing the answer from his memory. “Mystery?”

“What a shock, someone was paying attention to his lessons,” Jaehwan teased, but Sanghyuk let the mocking tone slide and puffed up as if he’d received a compliment. “Yes, Razikale is the Dragon of Mystery, and if the tales I heard about her are true, killing her is going to be a bitch. So let’s hope the cult’s objective is _not_ to bring about the Sixth Blight, I’m too pretty to be tainted with icky darkspawn blood.”

“But why do _you_ need the jewel?” Hakyeon asked Taekwoon, clearly intent on ignoring Jaehwan’s comment. Sanghyuk understood.

Taekwoon rolled his shoulder, dismissive. “I have been tasked with retrieving it.”

“By whom?”

Taekwoon’s answer was to blink slowly at Hakyeon and turn his face away, indicating he would not speak. Hakyeon groaned.

“What’s the point in receiving ‘permission’ to speak to us if you’re not actually going to tell us anything!?”

For some ungodly reason, Hakyeon’s outburst made Taekwoon giggle. Hakyeon didn’t seem to appreciate that, for his face went through various shades of red and his nostrils flared; probably an exaggerated reaction, considering they hadn’t even been arguing for long.

Although, Sanghyuk was slowly learning that the Dalish elf had the uncanny talent of getting under people’s skin very quickly. It if it was a natural gift or if he was doing it on purpose, he wasn’t sure. Yet.

“You know what, fine, whatever, don’t answer anything, I’m done trying to talk to you,” Hakyeon exploded - more like whined - and turned to Jaehwan. “How do we figure out which Old God it is?”

“How good of you to ask, I was having a few thoughts about it,” Jaehwan said and shot Hakyeon a bright grin that didn’t exactly fit the atmosphere - it was just one of the many ‘Jaehwan things’ that never failed to make Sanghyuk feel smitten. “As we are already close to the Necropolis, my idea is to make use of their archives.”

Sanghyuk stopped feeling smitten to feel apprehensive in a heartbeat. “The archives? Are you insane, what if the Mortalitasi are involved with this cult, what then?” Sanghyuk asked, almost rising from the couch such was his fervor. “They know your face, it’s not like you can hide that nose under a hood and hope for the best!”

“Hey, the nose remark was uncalled for,” Jaehwan said and pouted, covering his nose with one hand. “And I’m not stupid, _Your Highness_ , I am aware that the Mortalitasi know me.”

“Then what are you—”

“I have a plan, you need not concern yourself over it if your reaction will be like that,” Jaehwan said, curt, and turned his attention back to the strong scented brew he was preparing for Taekwoon.

Sanghyuk pursed his lips. That suspicion he’d been feeling ever since his visit to the city guard barracks returned with a vengeance; it wasn’t the first time Jaehwan used that tone with him, but it was the first time he felt like Jaehwan might have been hiding something, as opposed to just being annoyed because Sanghyuk was behaving like a brat. Or was the suspicion just making Sanghyuk  _think_ Jaehwan was hiding something when in reality he was just very annoyed? Maker, he didn’t know. Jaehwan’s mood had been known to change with the flip of a coin, Sanghyuk was more than used to it, but the motives behind the change— He didn’t know. He had no idea what Jaehwan was thinking.

“Who hired you to get the jewel?” Wonshik’s rumbling voice caught Sanghyuk’s attention, and he raised his eyes to see the guard glaring at Hongbin. Hongbin seemed as aloof as always.

“No idea. I don’t always meet my patrons, I just do what they say and collect the reward.”

Wonshik huffed a mirthless chuckle. “What a flippant way to live.”

“It sure beats having a superiority complex for arresting pickpockets and drunks,” Hongbin shot back without missing a beat and turned to grin at Wonshik. “But I think you already know that, don’t you, Shik?”

“At least I don’t have to steal from anyone.”

“At least I can live with the choices I made, can you say the same?”

“Andraste’s holy ashes, _shut up,_ ” Hakyeon sounded as if he was a breath away from begging. “Binnie, what if the people who hired you to get the jewel are the cultists themselves?”

Hongbin still glared angrily at Wonshik for a couple more seconds before turning to Hakyeon, expression becoming indifferent again. “It’s not impossible, but as I’ve said, I do not know the identity of my employers. The entire transaction was confidential.”

“Or maybe you’re a liar and a thief and you just don’t want to tell us who they are,” Wonshik accused Hongbin point blank, and Hongbin’s reaction to it was to laugh, dimples and all.

“Oh, guardsman Kim, what is it with you and seeing crime everywhere? Is that a guard thing? Are all guards so paranoid?”

“Kids, play nice!” Jaehwan scolded while impersonating an old woman, moving towards Taekwoon with a cup of some steaming beverage that smelled strongly of herbs and honey. “Here, Daeguni, it’s not as potent as I’d like but it’ll help.”

“Thank you, Jaehwan,” Taekwoon mumbled as he accepted the cup, and Jaehwan clicked his tongue.

“I told you to call me ‘Jyani’.”

Sanghyuk, again, felt the jealousy pierce him right through the chest. Eight years and Jaehwan never told him to call him ‘Jyani’. Jaehwan never told him to call him anything at all, as a matter of fact.

“I want some tea too,” Sanghyuk said, chin raised, wanting to at least attract Jaehwan’s attention to himself.

Jaehwan shot him a sideways look. “This is not tea, it’s medicine.” After a moment, Jaehwan slowly exhaled and said. “I think I might have some mint, if you really want tea.”

“Can we please focus on the jewel?” Hakyeon said, louder to get everyone back on track. “I’ll make tea for everyone later myself, but right now we have more important things to figure out.”

“You are absolutely right," Jaehwan agreed with a nod, moving back to his desk as he spoke. “Like I was saying, I believe the Necropolis’ archives might have what we need. Daeguni and I can go and see if we can find anything useful.”

“No way, I’m coming with,” Sanghyuk said without a moment’s hesitation; he didn’t like Jaehwan’s sudden obsession with Taekwoon. They had spent, what, a couple of hours together? How were they already so close, close enough to be on nickname terms? It didn’t sit right with him.

“You are not,” Jaehwan shut him down right away. “If the Mortalitasi know my face, they could paint a perfect portrait of yours from memory. You’re not going near the archives.”

“But—”

“I already said no,” Jaehwan snapped and didn’t let him finish, busying himself with putting away the ingredients he’d used to make Taekwoon’s medicine. Still not looking at him, he continued. “I’ll keep you here through magical means if I have to, so don’t waste your time arguing.”

“Harsh,” Hongbin muttered under his breath.

“I’ll come with you and Taekwoon, then,” Wonshik offered, and to that Jaehwan had no protests.

“Oh, what the hell. I’ll go too,” Hakyeon said with a sigh.

“And I’ll stay here to babysit the fledgling king,” Hongbin said, grinning at Sanghyuk, and he had a thought that the elf had far too many teeth. “We’re going to become besties.”

Sanghyuk grimaced at that, the concept of being left underground all alone with Hongbin making him very uncomfortable, but he took solace in the fact that, if Hongbin would stay there, then he wouldn’t get to spend time with Jaehwan alone; as such, he would not have the opportunity to tell the mage of Sanghyuk’s feelings.

Sanghyuk would get the chance to shut Hongbin down before that happened.

“Well then,” Hakyeon said, squirming his way out from under Hongbin to get up from the armchair, wincing as he stretched his arms and rolled his shoulders. “We still have a fair amount of matters to discuss, but we should all get some rest, first. The sun is already up and we haven’t slept a wink last night.”

“I second that, I’m beat,” Jaehwan said, clapping his hands to dust off anything still clinging to his palms. Moving towards the chest with his clothes, Jaehwan asked over his shoulder, “How’s the medicine, Daeguni?”

“Bitter,” Taekwoon mumbled over the edge of the cup, but dutifully continued to sip its contents slowly.

Jaehwan clucked his tongue. “And I even went as far as to put in some honey to sweeten it a little.” Jaehwan began searching through the various items of clothing as he spoke. “But I meant, is it helping?”

“Yes, it is. Thank you,” Taekwoon replied in a small voice that sounded almost a little childish. Sanghyuk didn’t know what to make of the Dalish when he acted all cute like that.

“Good. I’ll still be up for a while, I’ll be right over there if anyone needs me,” Jaehwan said and motioned to the screens as he straightened himself up, something that looked like a thick grey blanket in his arm. “Make yourselves comfortable and don’t fight over who gets the couch.”

“Thanks, Jaehwan,” Wonshik said as Jaehwan walked by him, and Hakyeon was quick to add to that.

“Yeah, thank you for everything, you really saved us all tonight.”

The words made Jaehwan stop on his tracks and turn to Hakyeon, a bashful smile on his lips. “It was nothing. The way I see it, we were all caught unawares in this gigantic mess, which puts us all in the same boat. We should help each other if we don’t want to be brutally murdered by a bunch of lunatics, don’t you agree?”

Sanghyuk didn’t really hear what the others said in response to that, a lump forming in his throat at Jaehwan’s words. Jaehwan was so kind. Jaehwan had always been kind, Sanghyuk had known that since the moment they first met, but that kindness in that particular moment caused Sanghyuk to feel like he’d swallowed an entire apple. Jaehwan was kind and Sanghyuk was suspecting his intentions. It made him feel dirty, rotten on the inside.

And yet that suspicion was still nagging at him, scratching at the back of his skull, sharp fingernails on glass.

“Goodnight, everyone, you know where to find me.”

Jaehwan’s voice broke Sanghyuk off of his little trance and he raised his head in time to see the mage moving behind the screen and disappearing from view. The others had replied with their own ‘goodnights’ and were also beginning to get ready to sleep, Hakyeon and Hongbin talking in whispers as they walked towards their own packs, Wonshik looking around the room presumably to find a good location to set up his bedroll, and Taekwoon still perched on the couch, finishing his medicine.

Sanghyuk stayed put for a few more seconds, trying to put his thoughts in order in the least amount of time possible. He suspected Jaehwan for things Jaehwan had kept a secret, but at the same time, he was grateful for Jaehwan’s efforts on his (and the others’) behalf during the course of that entire night. On top of that, he was still mourning his parents and the destruction of his home, reeling over the fact that he would be king much sooner than he ever expected, and trying to get all the information about that jewel and Old Gods and cultists to sink in at the same time.

He felt like he was about to burst with all those emotions inside him, warring for attention. He couldn’t do it, was not built for it. If he could knock down at least one of those concerns, he should take that chance, shouldn’t he?

He had been planning on speaking with Jaehwan about it anyway, so why not at that very moment?

Giving himself a couple more seconds to gather his courage, Sanghyuk rose from the couch and made his way to the little makeshift study Jaehwan had behind the screens, footsteps firm but careful.

The moment he rounded the corner around the screens he froze at the sight that greeted him.

Jaehwan was in the middle of taking off his tattered red robes, his back turned towards where Sanghyuk was standing. Fact, Sanghyuk had never seen Jaehwan undressed before, not even when they were younger. Jaehwan always wore those long robes and often gloves, which Sanghyuk thought to be ‘a mage thing’ as every mage he’d ever encountered dressed in a similar fashion. Thus, the amount of Jaehwan’s skin Sanghyuk had seen during the years they’d known each other was limited to his face, neck, and hands, and his arms up to his elbows, on occasion. He thought he saw a bit of his collarbones once, but that might have been his imagination.

And there was Jaehwan, his back bared, right in front of Sanghyuk. He’d always imagined that his first time seeing Jaehwan undressed would leave him feeling elated and not only a little aroused, but at that moment the only thing Sanghyuk could feel was shock.

Jaehwan’s back was peppered with scars, some thin and small, some larger and deeper looking, marring the otherwise smooth expanse of skin. Sanghyuk was struck dumb for a second, unable to process any of it, and without thinking he just blurted out, “What happened?”

Jaehwan screeched and jumped with the startle Sanghyuk caused him and quickly turned around, holding his red robes tight against his chest to cover himself up. “S-Sanghyuk, have you ever heard of knocking!?”

At any other time, Sanghyuk would make a witty joke about how there were no doors for him to knock on, but he was too worked up to care. “What happened, what are those scars?”

Jaehwan’s expression was tense, the subject something he clearly didn’t enjoy talking about, but he eventually relented with a sigh. His shoulders slumped down some, and he turned around to quickly pull his clean robes over his head - the thing Sanghyuk thought to be a blanket just minutes before.

“They’re just a souvenir from my time in the Ostwick Circle, no need to concern yourself.”

“Jaehwan,” Sanghyuk pleaded, walking forward the couple steps that distanced him from the mage. Again, without thinking, Sanghyuk reached forward to touch one of the deeper looking scars, but Jaehwan moved forward just as his fingertips brushed his skin, the fabric of the robes hiding the marks from view. Sanghyuk let his hand fall limp next to his body again. “What happened?”

Jaehwan didn’t reply immediately, moving behind the desk he had tucked in the corner, like he wanted to put as much distance between them as possible.

“It was a Templar,” Jaehwan finally said, and Sanghyuk opened his mouth to start freaking out about it, but Jaehwan interrupted before he could say anything. “And before you start making assumptions, no, I was not abused or tortured. This was… Something else.”

“Jaehwan, please tell me,” Sanghyuk was close to begging, wanting nothing more than to walk over to where Jaehwan was and wrap his arms around him. He clenched his fists and stayed put.

“It was really not as bad as you think,” Jaehwan said, trying to, very obviously, play down the whole thing so Sanghyuk would feel better. So kind. Always so kind. “This templar, he… I think he was suffering from lyrium withdrawal. The Circle’s supplier was taking longer than usual to deliver, and that guy— He was heavily addicted to the stuff. The other Templars were managing well, but after a couple of days that one Templar was already a mess.” He paused, a small hitch appearing between his brows as Jaehwan worked out the best way to tell his tale. “I was practicing something in a room, some sort of potion. I can’t recall exactly what it was, but that templar came in and for some reason thought I had lyrium.”

“What did he do to you?” Sanghyuk demanded, unable to keep his distress entirely contained.

Jaehwan stared at him for a moment, searching, and soon sighed. “Since I was practicing mixing ingredients, I had several containers with me. Most of them were made of glass.” He paused to run his tongue over his dry lips. “The Templar started screaming at me, first, and I backed away until I reached the far wall. It wasn’t a very large room.” Jaehwan gave him a rueful smile. “When he reached for the nearest container, I figured out what he was about to do and turned around. He threw the glass container at my back.”

“Jaehwan—”

“And then he threw another, and another, and another, until one of the senior mages heard the screams and came over to help,” Jaehwan finished his tale quickly and swallowed, eyes shifting to every corner of the room, except to Sanghyuk’s general direction. “I was seven.”

“I’m—” He wanted to say he was sorry, but he wasn’t sure what good that would do him or Jaehwan. “I didn’t know.”

Jaehwan chuckled, sounding more like himself. “Why would you? It is irrelevant.”

“It’s not irrelevant, Jaehwan, it’s— Fuck,” Sanghyuk cursed, placing both hands on his hips as he began to pace from side to side. “We’ve known each other for almost a decade, and only in the last few hours I feel like I’ve learned more about you than I have during all those years.”

Jaehwan shot him a side smile. “I suppose we were too busy needling each other to find the time to play Twenty Questions.”

“That’s not what I—” Sanghyuk stopped himself, closing his mouth with an audible pop. He didn’t even know what he was trying to say.

Jaehwan watched him quietly for a moment. “Sanghyuk. What’s on your mind?”

Sanghyuk stopped pacing and looked up at Jaehwan, still trying to figure out what to say. After taking a deep breath, he finally settled on, “I’m just trying to understand. Tonight was… So much has happened.” He paused, deciding between saying what he’d been wanting to say or remaining quiet. He chose the former. “You’re all I have left now.”

Jaehwan seemed surprised at that statement, but not as surprised as Sanghyuk was when the mage replied, “As you are all I have left.”

“Jaehwan—”

“That was my home, too,” Jaehwan said, expression shifting slowly as he came to a conclusion regarding what was bothering Sanghyuk so. “Ah. I see. You don’t trust me.”

“That’s not—”

“That’s exactly what it is,” Jaehwan insisted, then chuckled and shook his head. “I should have realized it sooner, but I was much too preoccupied.”

Sanghyuk pursed his lips and lowered his gaze again. “I’m sorry.”

Jaehwan, to Sanghyuk’s surprise, laughed. “None of that. I’m not angry with you.” In his shock, Sanghyuk raised his eyes to look at the mage, finding that he seemed almost amused. “I’m actually quite pleased. It’s good of you to question everything; you will soon be king. Questioning the intentions of everyone you meet will help you stay alive, and your kingdom, safe.”

“You’re— You’re truly not mad?” Sanghyuk’s voice sounded strange even to his own ears, childlike and lost.

“I’m not,” Jaehwan replied without a second’s hesitation, and, after a moment, moved to sit on the recliner next to where Sanghyuk was standing, patting the empty space next to him in a silent invitation. “Come, ask me the questions that are bothering you.”

Sanghyuk eyed the recliner warily but relented and sat down. This time he kept a safe distance between himself and Jaehwan, much different than earlier when he was inches from sitting on the mage’s lap.

As Sanghyuk took too long, Jaehwan encouraged him with a gentle, “So? Go on.”

“The— The blood magic,” Sanghyuk started, uncertain. Jaehwan hummed in acknowledgment. “How long…?”

Jaehwan bit his lips and frowned, thinking of an answer. “I— Well, this will be awkward.”

Sanghyuk narrowed his eyes questioningly. “Awkward?”

“You see, the question of ‘when’ is deeply tied in with the ‘why’,” Jaehwan answered, smiling softly to himself. “I never expected to have to tell you.”

“Tell me what?”

“I never considered becoming a blood mage, you see. Never gave it a second thought. I’ve never needed it,” Jaehwan started. “I was training with my mind set on healing spells. I thought being a healer would be useful, not only to you but to others who might need help.”

“What changed?” Sanghyuk asked, somehow apprehensive.

“You did,” Jaehwan replied and turned his head just the slightest bit necessary to look at Sanghyuk in the eyes. “You decided to become a Reaver.”

“You… Was it my fault?” Sanghyuk asked; his stomach had dropped, his heart clenched and his fingertips turned cold. Not even after Jaehwan shook his head and smiled did the feelings subside.

“No, not your fault. But I was worried,” Jaehwan revealed.

Sanghyuk was taken back to all the memories of Jaehwan hovering around him when he’d begun his training, the constantly checking up on him, how he wouldn’t smile as much. He’d written that all off as Jaehwan disapproving of his choices. That Jaehwan was worried about his well being… It sounded too good to be true.

Jaehwan seemed to notice the changes in his expression. “You underestimate the extent of my fondness towards you. Even if you _are_ a little shit most of the time.”

It didn’t work to soothe his nerves, but the comment  _did_ make him chuckle. “I thought you just didn’t think Reaving was a proper fighting style for the future king, like my parents.”

Jaehwan simply shrugged. “It’s not up to me to tell you what you should and shouldn’t learn. I don’t understand much of sword fighting, it all looks the same to me.” He sighed in affectation. “All I knew of Reaving was how it could change you. Change your mind, your temper. There was nothing I could do to prevent that, not as I was.”

“So… Blood magic,” Sanghyuk concluded.

“Blood magic. Blood magic to counter the blood magic you used yourself,” Jaehwan confirmed. “And I’m glad I did it. I like being a blood mage. I can do more than I ever could, and I can make sure you are well.”

“The tonics?”

“Imbued with blood magic, yes,” Jaehwan admitted with a short nod and Sanghyuk chuckled to himself.

“I can’t believe you really did it for me,” Sanghyuk said before he could catch himself.

Jaehwan inhaled slow and deep, exhaling the same way. “My job as your advisor,” he started, careful, “is, most of all, to protect you from yourself. I’ll go to any lengths to do just that.”

“Is this just about doing your job, then?” Sanghyuk tried to keep the hurt from his voice. He wasn’t sure he’d managed.

“How many times more must I tell you that I care about you?” Jaehwan asked, rolling his eyes, and pushed himself up from the recliner, moving to the tall bookshelf that sat behind his desk. “Really, Your Highness, you should have at least a little faith in your advisor.” Jaehwan paused for a moment, like a thought had just hit him, before he laughed bitterly to himself and kept on walking. “What am I saying, you’ll be king. You’ll be able to choose your own advisor, so you don’t have to put up with me for much longer.”

“What—”

“It’s a wonder I didn’t think of this before,” Jaehwan continued prattling on. “You had no choice on the matter before, but now nothing stops you from getting rid of me.”

“Jaehwan—”

“Well, lucky me for having some preemptive thought, I won’t be completely homeless,” Jaehwan declared and gestured vaguely around himself to indicate their surroundings, his little secret room, and started plucking out a few different books from the shelf and placing them on the desk. “I guess a part of me always knew this day would come.”

“Oh, for— Jaehwan, shut _up_.”

Jaehwan froze midmotion, hand hovering over a book as he turned to face Sanghyuk, eyes wide as saucers. “Sanghyuk?”

“I’m not getting rid of you, why would I? You’re—” _the only one I want by my side_ “the only one who can be my advisor. I… I don’t trust anyone else, just— Just you.”

Jaehwan huffed a breath of surprise. “I thought you didn’t trust me, which is the reason we’re even having this conversation.”

“It’s not— I was confused, but… I get it now,” Sanghyuk said and tried not looking directly into Jaehwan’s eyes as he spoke. He was mortified enough as it was. “The blood magic, this place, now that cult, and… Taekwoon.”

Jaehwan arched an eyebrow. Sanghyuk felt his cheeks warming up. “What about him?”

“You two just became very close, very fast. I thought it was odd, is all.”

Jaehwan hummed noncommittally but didn’t continue the subject. Instead, he said, “It’s only natural. It is very hard to know who to trust in this situation, and like I said earlier, I’m glad you are questioning everyone. You should be on your guard.”

“But you trust him,” Sanghyuk concluded. Jaehwan raised his eyebrows quizzically, so Sanghyuk added, “Taekwoon.”

“Yes, I do,” Jaehwan answered without a second thought. “He is a little— _Different_ , I understand. It doesn’t inspire confidence. But he is truly not our enemy.”

Sanghyuk wanted to question him further on that, but something in Jaehwan’s demeanor told him that he would get no answers. Instead of continuing the topic, Sanghyuk chose to just nod and let it end; the truth about Taekwoon would have to come to light eventually. All he had to do was keep an eye on him until that day came, and trust Jaehwan’s judgment on the matter.

Yes, he would trust Jaehwan. There were still many things tied up in knots inside his brain, things he wanted so very much to clarify, but that talk they just had was already enough for him to get a new perspective - Jaehwan truly cared. Sanghyuk knew the mage enough to know he wouldn’t have said so much, revealed so many things that clearly spoke of affection, if he didn’t mean every word. Jaehwan hadn’t done anything that wasn’t for their protection, and any secrets he kept were in part for Sanghyuk’s own benefit.

Not only that, Sanghyuk didn’t want to be at odds with the only family he had left.

“Jaehwan?” Sanghyuk called, and Jaehwan hummed to indicate he’d heard him. “I know we have not been very friendly to each other these past few years—”

“To put it lightly,” Jaehwan teased, and Sanghyuk couldn’t help a little smile.

“Do you think that maybe… Maybe we could… You know,” Sanghyuk trailed off and averted his gaze away, down to the floor, face flush with heat. “Maybe we could be—”

“Friends?” Jaehwan finished the sentence for him. Sanghyuk just nodded briefly to confirm. “Yeah, I’d like that.” They exchanged a pair of shy smiles, Sanghyuk’s heart doing cartwheels inside his chest. “You know it won’t happen overnight, though.”

Sanghyuk sighed. “Yeah, I know. Old habits die hard.”

“Mhm,” Jaehwan hummed, then more seriously, asked. “How are you? After everything that happened tonight?”

The smile slowly faded from Sanghyuk’s face, being replaced by a frown. “I don’t know, I— I don’t think it hit me just yet. I feel like there are too many thoughts inside my head and I can’t shut them off.”

“As it is only natural,” Jaehwan agreed, offering Sanghyuk a kind little side grin. The sight warmed him up a bit. “Want me to get you a tonic to help you sleep?”

“You should sleep too.”

“And I will, after I’ve done some light reading,” Jaehwan responded, gesturing to the small pile of books he’d gathered on top of his desk. “You can sleep on the recliner.”

“Where will you sleep?” Sanghyuk asked, to which Jaehwan shrugged in a dismissive manner, taking the pouch he usually wore on his belt from the desk where he’d left it earlier.

“There’s enough room on the floor and I have blankets,” he said, chuckling after seeing the expression of horror in Sanghyuk’s face. “Don’t worry, Your Highness, I’ve slept on the ground plenty of times before.”

“But— Isn’t it… Dirty?” Sanghyuk must have looked very funny, for Jaehwan laughed at the expression on his face.

“Oh, when we start traveling you’ll be in for such a treat, my prince,” Jaehwan said and laughed harder when Sanghyuk grimaced. Shaking his head, Jaehwan came closer to Sanghyuk while searching the contents of his pouch. “At least the hardships we’ll encounter will serve to make you a better king.”

“Who knows, it might also make me very grouchy,” Sanghyuk quipped and, to his delight, Jaehwan laughed again. Emboldened by how that conversation turned out much better than he’d expected, he decided to just go ahead and ask. “Jaehwan. Can I call you Jyani too, or is it only Taekwoon who’s allowed?”

Jaehwan rolled his eyes, still smiling. “Of course you can call me Jyani.” He fished a couple of vials from his pouch and handed them to Sanghyuk. “Here, drink both of them. It’s the same tonic to keep your temper in check, doubling the dose will make you sleepy.”

“Thank you,” Sanghyuk said as he accepted the vials, and, with a sly little side smile, he added, “ _Jyani_.”

Jaehwan’s cheeks turned pink almost immediately and he turned around to walk away, mumbling something under his breath that Sanghyuk couldn’t quite hear. Doing as he was told, Sanghyuk drank all the contents from both vials and laid down on the recliner, shifting a little to get comfortable. He didn’t really want to sleep, had too much on his mind to sort through, but Jaehwan was right - he needed to rest after the night they’d had.

Jaehwan soon returned bringing a woolen blanket in his arms, cheeks still a little rosy. Sanghyuk allowed himself a moment of pride for that feat.

Sanghyuk thought that Jaehwan would just hand him the blanket and return to his desk, but he gently covered Sanghyuk with the blanket and made sure it was snug enough not to let any cold air in. Sanghyuk raised an eyebrow. “What, are you going to tell me a story?”

“Once upon a time, there lived a prince who was a little shit, he had the nicest advisor who ever walked the land and he listened to him and lived happily ever after, the end,” Jaehwan recited and finished with a mocking pat on the top of Sanghyuk’s head. “Want me to kiss you goodnight too?”

“Only if there’s tongue.”

Jaehwan snorted and  _now_ he returned to his desk. “Go to sleep, royal pervert. Maybe if you’re lucky you’ll dream of it.”

Sanghyuk only smiled to himself and snuggled deeper under the blankets, already starting to feel himself relax and his mind become foggy with drowsiness, the tonic just beginning to work.

“Jyani,” Sanghyuk called again as Jaehwan sat down at his desk. Jaehwan blinked up at him and waited for him to continue. Licking his lips briefly, Sanghyuk smiled and said, “Don’t forget that you owe me a dance.”

Jaehwan huffed a little disbelieving chuckle and shook his head, turning his attention back to the book he’d chosen to begin his research. “Sleep, Hyogi.”

“Hyogi?” he echoed. The nickname caught him by surprise, albeit a very pleasant one.

“Yes. Hyogi,” Jaehwan confirmed, then shot him a sideways smile and continued to read.

Sanghyuk let the comfortable silence stretch between them, his eyelids beginning to droop slowly as he watched Jaehwan read, the sight soothing enough to lull him into a dreamless slumber.

 

✶✶✶

 

Hakyeon plopped down on his bedroll once he finished setting it on the ground, his traveling pack in his arms. He remembered having some biscuits in there somewhere - he hadn’t eaten at all since the lunch on the previous day, and now was already morning. He was famished.

He began searching the contents of his pack, trying to ignore that annoying little urge to look towards the couch, just a few steps away from where he’d placed his bedroll. For some reason, he felt the need to keep looking at Taekwoon - not because he thought he was handsome or anything, even though, yes, he was, but because the Dalish’s presence made him antsy, anxious, like he had to constantly be on his guard. It was exhausting, and the most exhausting part of it all was that Taekwoon… Didn’t really look like he was about to cause trouble. At all.

The elf was still sitting at the same place he’d been all night on the couch, the empty wooden cup that contained his medicine still being held between his hands. His wrists were still properly tied, and he had leaned backward so he could rest the back of his head on the spine of the couch. From that angle, Hakyeon couldn’t tell if his eyes were closed or if he was staring at the stone ceiling.

He looked— Harmless. Just very bored.

Taking a deep breath to prepare his nerves, for he already knew Taekwoon would get on them, Hakyeon raised his head and looked at the elf. “Why aren’t you trying to escape?”

Taekwoon’s head swung from its tipped up position to stay upright, so the Dalish could look at Hakyeon. His brows were furrowed quizzically, like the question had confused him somehow. “Should I be?”

“Uh… Yes?” Hakyeon asked and frowned, his expression now a reflection of the confusion in the elf’s own face. “You’re tied up. Usually, people who are tied up try to, you know, untie themselves.”

“But if I untie myself, won’t you just tie me up again?” Taekwoon asked, voice lowering to a whisper halfway through the sentence. Hakyeon opened his mouth to reply, but closed it again just as fast.

After considering it for a moment, he asked. “If I untie you, will you try anything?”

Taekwoon tilted his head to the side. “Obviously not.”

Hakyeon rolled his eyes. “Not ‘obviously’, we still don’t know if you can be trusted.”

Taekwoon shrugged, dismissive, and tipped his head back once again. “Then leave me tied.”

Hakyeon narrowed his eyes suspiciously at the elf. What was his game? Was he playing a game at all or was he just that weird? He could have escaped already, had many chances to do so; Hakyeon hadn’t seen him fight, but Hongbin told him that Taekwoon was rather skilled and slippery like an oiled up eel - Hongbin’s words - so it was a matter of logical thinking to conclude that Taekwoon could be miles away by then. But he wasn’t. He was sitting on Jaehwan’s old couch, tied up with brittle twine, staring at the ceiling. Doing nothing.

“Seriously, why aren’t you trying to escape?” Hakyeon asked again and, again, Taekwoon raised his head to look at Hakyeon as if he had said something very strange.

“Because I don’t want to,” Taekwoon replied. “And the couch is comfortable.”

Hakyeon pursed his lips tightly, nostrils expanding as he inhaled a sharp breath of air. “You know what, fine.” He got up from his bedroll clumsily and stomped towards Taekwoon, the Dalish staring up at him questioningly. Trying very hard not to make direct eye contact, Hakyeon skillfully untied the knot that kept the elf’s wrists together, tossing the twine away as he turned around and stalked back to his bed.

Sitting down, keeping his head high and shoulders squared, he went back to his quest for biscuits. “There, you’re free, do whatever you want.”

Taekwoon only stared at him for a while longer, seemingly at a loss with Hakyeon’s actions, but soon enough he slid his feet off the couch and onto the floor, leaving the cup on the ground as well, before rolling his wrists to loosen them up after having them on the same position for so long. In a quiet voice, Taekwoon said, “Thank you.”

He sounded so small and uncertain that Hakyeon immediately relaxed his stance and looked up at the elf again. Their eyes met for a brief second, a second during which Taekwoon’s lips quirked up in a bashful little smile. Hakyeon felt his mouth go conspicuously dry and looked away.

“It was nothing. Jaehwan is right, we’re all in this mess together. We should— We should learn to trust each other.”

Taekwoon hummed and nodded, agreeing with Hakyeon’s words, as he began massaging his right wrist with his left hand. A heavy silence fell between them, the atmosphere awkward as none of them knew what to say or do next. Taekwoon just sat there, looking around like a lost puppy and wriggling his fingers, not knowing what to do with his newfound freedom. Hakyeon felt a little sorry - he was the one to tie the elf up, and even if he was the one to also untie him, he felt somehow responsible for Taekwoon feeling like he couldn’t move around freely.

Hakyeon didn’t like that; he was never one to deny others their freedom. On the contrary, he had lived his entire life celebrating free will, encouraging others to make their own choices. He didn’t want Taekwoon to feel like he couldn’t do that, no matter how he only trusted the Dalish as far as he could throw him - which was not very far. Hakyeon could be deceptively built, but he was very bad at throwing things, much less a whole elven pile of trouble.

Sighing, Hakyeon decided that he should probably make amends for his behavior and took out the biscuits from his bag, neatly wrapped in a square of cloth, getting up again and moving towards the elf. Taekwoon eyed him warily, probably thinking Hakyeon had changed his mind and was about to tie him up again, but all Hakyeon did was sit next to him on the couch, keeping a safe distance.

They exchanged a few awkward glances from the corners of their eyes, measuring each other, until Hakyeon cleared his throat and unwrapped his little bundle, taking one biscuit from it and stretching out a hand to offer the snack to Taekwoon.

Taekwoon blinked, looking like the definition of disbelief, but barely hesitated before he accepted the biscuit. He mumbled a soft “thank you” and gave the biscuit a generous bite that took away more than half of the pastry. Hakyeon couldn’t help a little smile.

“You must be very hungry,” Hakyeon commented, conversational, and Taekwoon nodded sharply to agree. “Here. It’s not much, but we can share.”

He placed the open bundle of biscuits between them on the couch. Taekwoon’s eyes were sparkling as he looked upon their humble meal. Once again that night, Hakyeon thought that elf adorable, and, once again, stomped down on that thought the moment it crossed his mind.

They ate quietly for a couple of minutes, the awkwardness between them dissipating a little as the seconds ticked by. Hakyeon watched the elf for a moment, gaze following the neat pattern drawn on his forehead and the bridge of his nose, the white of the ink close to blending seamlessly with Taekwoon’s skin tone. It made him seem almost ethereal, and how strange it was, an ethereal being munching on biscuits while sitting with his legs tucked under himself like a kid on the corner of an old couch.

“Your tattoo,” Hakyeon started, and Taekwoon cocked his head to the side after turning to give him his full attention. “Which god does it represent?”

Taekwoon’s eyebrows shot up with surprise, and, after swallowing the (rather large) mouthful of biscuits he had in his mouth, he asked. “You know of vallaslin?”

“Not very much, I’m afraid,” Hakyeon admitted with a shy smile. “All I know is that it is supposed to represent your gods.”

“Mhm, that is correct,” Taekwoon agreed, staring at Hakyeon intensely for a second longer in silence before he finally answered, “My vallaslin honors Dirthamen.”

“And that’s the god of… death?” Hakyeon asked, squinting his eyes at his own attempt of guessing.

Taekwoon shook his head and smiled. “No. It was close, though. Dirthamen is the god of secrets and knowledge. The god of death is Falon’din, his soul twin.”

“Soul twin? They are brothers?” Hakyeon asked, curiosity picked up. Taekwoon seemed pleased with it.

“In a way. They are bonded beyond the ties of family or romance, by something stronger than the deepest of friendships. They are part of each other.”

“That’s… Beautiful,” Hakyeon couldn’t help the comment. Taekwoon smiled.

“Falon’din is often referred to as ‘Dirthamen’s Shadow’, and Dirthamen as ‘Falon’din’s Reflection’ in older elven tales,” Taekwoon continued, pausing for a moment to clear his throat. In a whisper, he concluded, “They are inseparable.”

“I wonder how it must be to share that kind of devotion with someone,” Hakyeon mused after swallowing his own piece of biscuit.

Taekwoon rolled his shoulder in a lazy shrug. “I’m afraid most people will never know such a bond.”

“You’re not wrong.”

The conversation died down after that as they both were turned inwards to their own thoughts, slowly consuming the biscuits. It wasn’t that bad, being around the Dalish like that. He was odd and quiet, and something about him was unnerving, but… He didn’t seem to be as much of a problem as Hakyeon thought him to be, at first. He didn’t trust him still, there was no way he would just trust him after a conversation that lasted around two minutes, but maybe he could relax a little instead of expecting Taekwoon to betray them at every turn.

“I—” Taekwoon started, his soft voice bringing Hakyeon’s attention to him. “At the ball.” Taekwoon continued, slowly and taking his time to either gather his thoughts or to give his unused vocal cords some respite. Perhaps a little bit of both. “I have watched the beginning of your performance.”

Now  _that_ Hakyeon wasn’t expecting but— Oh. Yes, he remembered seeing a shadow moving a while after he’d began dancing. A shadow that was, coincidentally, being followed by two smaller, bird-like shadows.

“I’ve never seen anything like it before,” Taekwoon sounded shy, and— there was Hakyeon, finding him cute again. “It was… It was beautiful.”

It was Hakyeon’s turn to become shy, the praise causing heat to pool in his cheeks. “A-ah— Thank you.”

“I wish I could have seen it all,” Taekwoon added in a whisper and Hakyeon smiled to himself. So cute.

“Maybe next time.”

They exchanged a quick glance before looking away, Taekwoon at his lap and Hakyeon to a nearby shelf filled with several glass jars containing colorful substances.

That was getting ridiculous.

 

✶✶✶

 

Wonshik chose a spot close to the door to put down his bedroll, the thing practically brand new despite him owning it for a few years - not much need for a bedroll when you’re in city guard and never travel anywhere. The choice of placing his bed there was made for two reasons: one, if anyone managed to get in, he would be the first one to be spotted, which would give the others time to prepare; and two, because Hongbin had put his own bedroll at the opposite side of the room, near Jaehwan’s work desk.

Really, he could barely look at Hongbin for two seconds without being flooded with a torrent of conflicting feelings - anger, resentment, longing, guilt. Having to be stuck underground with him was already bad enough; if he could at least keep himself at a safe physical distance from him, it would already lift a little bit of that burden.

He couldn’t waste his energy worrying about Hongbin anyway. There was so much in his mind that needed to be sorted through, his heartstrings tied up in tight knots and his windpipe crushed as if a noose was wrapped around it. Jimin’s death, the murder of the king and queen, templars taking the reigns, cultists chasing them for that accursed jewel— And now Old Gods. _Old Gods_. That was the type of thing you never expect to have to deal with in city guard. He was only a grunt, all he did was walk up and down some streets and arrest the occasional thief, he didn’t— He wasn’t a Grey Warden or whatever organization was equipped to deal with _Old Gods_ , he was just a normal man who just wanted things to be normal. A normal job, a normal life, a normal set of everyday problems that didn’t involve _Old fucking Gods_.

Maker’s mercy, what did he get himself into?

Wonshik stopped what he was doing to rest one hand on his hip and massage his temples with his thumb and middle finger with the other. That wasn’t something he could just sign himself out of. The life of the prince - the future _king_ \- was being threatened, and not only had the Han clan ruled the country fairly during the decades they’d been in power, Sanghyuk was a good kid. His heart was in the right place and he deserved a chance to make their nation better. Wonshik couldn’t just abandon him.

No, he was in it for the long haul. He had to see it through, no matter the danger, no matter how he would have to suffer Hongbin’s presence.

Speaking of which—

“Wonshik?”

He didn’t bother turning around, or even shifting his current position at all, to acknowledge Hongbin. “Whatever you have to say, I don’t care.”

He heard Hongbin groan, the sound low in his throat. “I just want to tell you, I’m sorry about your friend.”

Wonshik scoffed and shook his head, moving to finish setting up his bedroll. “Sure you are.”

“I _am_. I never meant for anybody to get hurt!” Hongbin protested. “Or do you think I would have gotten myself involved in this shitstorm if I knew what would happen?”

“Implying you didn’t know?”

“I’m not ‘implying’, I am telling you I didn’t know,” Hongbin sounded genuinely upset. Wonshik tried to ignore how it made him feel like his stomach was filled with ice cubes. “Do you really think I could do something like that?”

“As it happens, I have no idea who you are anymore, so excuse me if I have my doubts,” Wonshik replied curtly, fluffing his thin excuse of a pillow more roughly than he probably should.

Hongbin sighed behind him. “Shik, come on. I’m trying to be nice and do the right thing here.”

“Do us both a favor and stop trying.”

It was quiet for a moment, and Wonshik would have believed Hongbin to have given up and walked away if he couldn’t still feel his presence so close to him. He tried to pretend he wasn’t there, that he was alone in his little corner, getting ready to sleep after what was a very intense night, but blocking Hongbin off was as impossible as telling the sun not to shine.

Finally, after what felt like hours, Hongbin quietly said, “Never.”

This time, Wonshik was sure the elf had walked away.

 

✶✶✶

 

Hakyeon began to stir after a few hours of surprisingly peaceful sleep, and opened his eyes to be met with— A raven standing very, very close to his face.

Hakyeon made an inhuman noise with the fright it caused him and jumped back, skidding over from his bedroll to the floor to gain some distance from the bird. The raven just cawed and flew away to land on Taekwoon’s shoulder - Taekwoon, who had seen the whole scene and was laughing, one hand covering his mouth.

“What the— What is it with you and your creepy ravens!?” Hakyeon demanded, his voice one octave higher than normal.

Taekwoon had to take a deep breath to control his laughter before saying, “There is no need to be frightened of either of them, Fear was just playing.”

Hakyeon blinked. “Fear? You named your bird ‘Fear’?”

“It has always been its name.”

“Hold on just a second,” Hakyeon ordered and pushed himself up so he could gaze at Taekwoon properly. “Are you saying your ravens are demons?”

“Spirits.”

“Whatever, are they?”

“Yes.”

“What’s the other one’s name?”

“Deceit.”

“Fear and Deceit? Fucking great,” Hakyeon groaned and rubbed his eyes. He’d just woken up and was already exhausted. “It does explain why they’re so creepy.”

Taekwoon cocked his head to the side, watching Hakyeon with narrowed eyes. “You are not worried.”

It wasn’t a question, it was more of a realization. Hakyeon shrugged and shot him a side smile. “I am Rivaini. Spirits aren’t exactly scary to me, especially because both my mother and sister are Seers. I’ve grown up seeing them communicate and even be possessed by several spirits, even spoke to a few of them myself.”

“Mm,” Taekwoon hummed, seeming both surprised and impressed, before asking, “but you were afraid of the undead when we crossed the Necropolis yesterday.”

“Well yeah, those are dead people out there.”

“Dead people with spirits inside them.”

“Still dead people,” Hakyeon said and shuddered. “It’s way too creepy.”

Taekwoon giggled and it was the most adorable sound he’d heard in a long time. Hakyeon swallowed and moved his gaze around the room, taking note that both Wonshik and Hongbin were nowhere to be found and their bedrolls had been already put away.

“Where is everyone?”

“Hongbin and Wonshik went out to buy provisions and some other supplies we might need. They made a list. And they fought a lot too,” Taekwoon informed, a little hitch between his brows. His voice was still weak, but it did sound much steadier than it had before. “Jaehwan and Sanghyuk are still asleep over there.” Taekwoon pointed towards the screens.

Hakyeon’s insides plummeted down at the realization, “So… It’s just us here?”

Taekwoon frowned, confused. “Yes. Is that a problem?”

“N-no, I mean— I don’t really know you. Or if you can be trusted,” Hakyeon said, avoiding eye contact at all costs.

Taekwoon simply sighed. “I see. You have nothing to fear from me, if that’s your concern.”

“Sorry,” Hakyeon mumbled. “But… People are dying all around us, you know. I’m just trying to be careful.”

“You have no need to apologize. I understand your caution,” Taekwoon said and nodded briefly. After a few seconds of awkward silence, he added. “You should get ready.”

“Mm?” Hakyeon hummed quizzically and blinked, at a loss. “Get ready for what?”

Taekwoon arched an eyebrow. “To go to the Necropolis’ archives with Jaehwan. We’ll likely go once Wonshik returns and Jaehwan wakes up, so it should be soon.”

“A-ah, right. Forgot about that,” Hakyeon mumbled and begrudgingly got up so he could change his clothes and prepare.

That day could have started on a better note. Hopefully the rest of it would be a little better. And less awkward.

 

✶✶✶

 

As it was, Jaehwan didn’t just let everyone saunter into the Grand Necropolis all willy-nilly. It was a bold decision, a dangerous one, and Jaehwan was aware of such even as he had presented the idea - indeed, he didn’t truly expect  _any_ of them to agree, not even Taekwoon, for he knew this was a stupid mistake in the making. They should be gone, by now. They should be far away, they should be halfway to the Anderfels truly, but they had to know more. Knowledge meant survival in this particular context; the more they knew, the more chance they would come out of it alive.

So Jaehwan, an avid Necropolis dweller, was the one to take the reigns and fuss over the entire endeavor. He had chosen their clothes carefully, dressing them all up in his old robes and traveling capes; Jaehwan himself had found a mask tucked away somewhere inside his secret hideout, and decided that he would pretend to be an Orlesian enchanter come all the way from the Spire with his students for an educational field trip. All that time impersonating the Orlesian accent to make the servants in Castrum Draconis laugh would finally pay off.

“You know,” Hakyeon began as they approached the entrance that would lead them from the catacombs back to the Necropolis, “I have no idea how you mages wear this all the time.” Jaehwan was beginning to find out that, when Hakyeon started talking, he could go on and on. And on and on and on. And on. “It’s not practical at _all_ , it keeps getting tangled in my legs as I walk and I’m afraid I’ll step on it and trip.” Hakyeon was still talking. “Seriously, who thought that making mages wear a damn _dress_ —”

“It’s not a dress,” Jaehwan corrected, huffy, but Hakyeon kept going.

“—would be a good choice, there’s all this excess fabric flapping around and there’s a breeze down here that’s—”

“I find the breeze rather pleasant, and you really need to stop talking now,” Jaehwan interrupted, and Hakyeon’s mouth snapped shut. Wonshik snorted, and Taekwoon— Taekwoon didn’t seem to care. Bless his heart. Jaehwan turned to the rest of the group in front of the passage that led to an entrance close to the gates, voice tone lowering. “Listen to me. Once we go outside, assume everyone is a potential enemy.”

“That won’t be hard, trust me,” Hakyeon said; his eyes widened slightly and his eyebrows shot up a little. Jaehwan understood the meaning.

“Just keep your hoods up and look around in mild wonder, you’ll look like every other tourist around,” Jaehwan concluded. “The archives are located deep in the Necropolis. The place is open to the public, but the access to some of the tomes inside is restricted.”

“And how do you plan on getting to them?” Wonshik asked, and Jaehwan’s lips quirked slightly upwards.

“I have a few tricks up my sleeve,” he said, a hint of mischief glinting in his eye. Both Wonshik and Hakyeon stared at him with a bit of alarm, and Jaehwan felt the need to add, “Don’t worry, it doesn’t involve blood magic.”

That seemed enough for the two of them, and Taekwoon tugged lightly on Jaehwan’s cape, trying to catch his attention.

“What is it, Daeguni?” Jaehwan asked, staring up at Taekwoon as he waited for him to speak.

“We’re wasting time, we should move before someone comes.”

“You’re right, as always,” Jaehwan said and gave Taekwoon a fond pat on the shoulder and motioned to the others. “Follow me, kids.”

For all that the whole thing was pretense, Jaehwan was still decidedly excited to be in the Grand Necropolis, out in the open, again. He was playing a part, yes, but his enthusiasm was not fake in the slightest - as he led his three wary companions, he also lectured them on the history of the Necropolis, telling them anecdotes and interesting facts about the mausoleums they walked by, gesticulating wildly and grinning from ear to ear. It caught the attention of some people, but guides giving explanations like the ones Jaehwan was giving them were not uncommon, and so, they passed by undetected.

Or maybe his Orlesian accent was just _that_ good.

Jaehwan barely noticed how Wonshik whirled around at every sound that came from inside the crypts, the muffled moans of the undead and the occasional scream. Hakyeon kept ducking behind Taekwoon to hide, eyes wide with fear, gaze darting everywhere as if he expected something to jump at him at any second. Taekwoon was just following where Jaehwan led, merely looking around with mild curiosity.

By the time they had reached the archives, both Wonshik and Hakyeon looked dazed while Taekwoon was still just glancing around, like a cat in a new environment. Jaehwan was smiling, eyes glinting like the ones of a child who just received a present.

“Well, here we are,” Jaehwan said and took a deep breath, trying to reel in his excitement. When he felt more in control of his giddiness, he continued, “Alright, Daeguni and I will go inside, you two wait here.”

Hakyeon narrowed his eyes at him. “Why only Taekwoon?”

Jaehwan gave him a one-shouldered shrug, nonchalant. “I like him better.”

Hakyeon shot him a look that was thoroughly unimpressed. Jaehwan grinned.

“And what do you expect us to do while you two go on your library date?”

“Keep watch, of course. Just hang around and pretend you’re sightseeing, but don’t stray too far. This place can be a maze if you’re not used to it,” Jaehwan warned, tone somber to make sure those two understood the seriousness of the situation. “I don’t think either of you wants to accidentally stumble into a highly populated mausoleum, so don’t go anywhere from where you can’t see the archives’ doors.”

“You don’t have to tell us twice,” Wonshik agreed, wincing at the sound of a faraway cry. “Ugh, please find whatever you need to find quickly.”

“That’s the plan,” Jaehwan confirmed, patting both Hakyeon and Wonshik on the shoulders simultaneously before tugging on Taekwoon’s cape. “Let’s go, Daeguni, it’s our time to shine.”

Taekwoon nodded and, whistling briefly, one of his ravens appeared as if out of thin air on his shoulder. He whispered something to the bird that sounded like Elvish, and the raven promptly flew from Taekwoon’s shoulder to perch on Hakyeon’s. To his credit, Hakyeon’s reaction was just to flinch slightly instead of screaming.

“If anything happens, Fear will handle it.”

“Fantastic,” Hakyeon said, shooting Taekwoon a wry smile, and Jaehwan tugged on the elf’s cape again.

“Come on.”

Taekwoon followed him wordlessly, glancing back briefly at Hakyeon to make sure everything was alright and his raven was doing as told. Once inside the archives, both fell easily into step with one another, Taekwoon looking around curiously at the tall ceilings and walls packed from top to bottom with books. Jaehwan didn’t linger at the entrance, leading them both further inside, to the section where only those would permission could enter. It wasn’t a locked section, but it was constantly monitored, a guard always stationed next to it, day and night, to make sure nobody would get past him.

Instead of marching towards that place, Jaehwan swerved towards a public section of the library, slipping between walls of books always followed closely by Taekwoon.

“Ok, Daeguni,” Jaehwan called and turned to Taekwoon at the end of a dimly lit hallway. “Think you can find what we’re looking for?”

Taekwoon blinked slowly down at him, feline eyes twinkling mysteriously, before his eyelids hid them as they closed. There was only silence for a moment, and soon enough Jaehwan felt a familiar tug in his gut, his skin prickly, his ears picking up the slightest sounds of whispering.

Taekwoon’s eyes snapped open without warning, so fast Jaehwan startled a bit. Taekwoon whistled briefly again, managing to barely make a sound, and his second raven promptly materialized as if made out of smoke on his shoulder - Jaehwan sort of wanted to get himself one of those. It looked cool.

Then Taekwoon was leisurely stalking away, and Jaehwan left him to it. Taekwoon was smart and he knew how to use his stealth when he had to. There was nothing to worry about, he just had to give his new friend space to work his non-magic.

In the meantime, Jaehwan just strolled down that hall, eyes skimming over titles in search of anything that could be remotely useful. He knew Taekwoon could find what they were looking for, and Jaehwan dearly hoped what they were looking for wasn’t tucked away inside that pesky restricted section, but that didn’t mean he would let himself slack while Taekwoon did all the work. If Jaehwan could find something, even if not as good as what Taekwoon could find, then great. They needed all the information they could get their desperate little hands on.

Jaehwan startled when he heard someone shouting “hey!” nearby, for a second thinking Taekwoon had gotten himself into trouble, but when Jaehwan peeked around the shelf to take a look, the guard that had been stationed at the entrance to the restricted area was running towards the opposite direction. The moment the man was far enough, he spotted Taekwoon strolling inside like he had every right to be there.

All Jaehwan could do was roll his eyes and smile. Yes, Taekwoon could get the job done.

Jaehwan went back to his own search, reading over titles and taking out a few tomes that looked promising. He’d just found a book about dragons and the magical properties of their physiology, flicking the pages absentmindedly in search of anything remotely useful - this one mostly with Sanghyuk and his dragony blood in mind instead of Old God problems - when a voice called for him.

“Jaehwan.”

He lifted his head to find Taekwoon standing at the very end of the hallway, haloed by the candelabra behind him, the black cape and dark grey robes he was wearing combined with his pale complexion and jet black hair that fell limply around his face making him look like a most striking grim reaper. His raven was conspicuously missing. Jaehwan blinked and put the book he’d been holding back into its original place and followed the Dalish elf, letting him lead the way to a dark hallway just next to the restricted section. The guard stationed there, just returning from whatever distraction Taekwoon came up with, glared at them suspiciously, but seeing that they didn’t make any moves to enter the area he’d been guarding, he let them be. Small mercies.

Taekwoon led him deeper and deeper into the archives, to an area of the place Jaehwan didn’t remember ever going to, and his interest sparked anew - he had been to that library countless times, and he thought he knew every nook and cranny of it, but, apparently, he did not. He tried not to blame himself overmuch for it; it _was_ a very hidden little hallway, dark and forgotten, dust cloying the air and making it stuffy. Jaehwan twitched his nose to fight away the urge to sneeze and made a mental note to return to explore that hallway with more leisure once things had returned to normal.

If he was still alive by then, that is.

It felt like forever, but, finally, Taekwoon stopped around midway through a specially dark, dusty, cobweb-filled hall of shelves, and produced a simple looking book from inside his cape. Jaehwan arched an eyebrow at him quizzically, and took the book from the elf’s hand carefully. A cloud of dust wafted up the moment he opened it and Jaehwan covered his mouth with the sleeve of his robes, muffling the coughing fit that overcame him. Taekwoon was just standing there, seemingly unbothered, next to him.

“You’re really annoying sometimes, Daeguni, did you know that?” Jaehwan asked with no real malice, exasperated at how controlled the elf always seemed to be, how detached. Taekwoon blinked down at him, and Jaehwan saw one of the sides of his mouth hitch up just the slightest bit, the ghost of a smug little smirk. Jaehwan snorted softly.

“You shit,” he said, and waving his hand around in front of him to disperse some of the dust, Jaehwan looked down at the book. “Now, let’s see what you’ve found.”

He began flipping through the pages, skimming its contents with his eyes briefly. It seemed to be ancient, the paper frail and yellowed, the material cracking under his fingertips. From the style and format, it was a diary of some sort, accounting the events of different dates. It was written in ancient Tevene - which Jaehwan wasn’t fluent in, by any means, but he knew loose words enough to gauge vaguely what he had been reading. Most of it seemed to be about cats.

That didn’t seem right.

Jaehwan looked up, finding Taekwoon still standing next to him, looking around with that mildly curious look on his face. Jaehwan cleared his throat to catch his attention, and Taekwoon’s dark eyes snapped towards him.

“Is this really it?” he asked, and Taekwoon merely nodded to confirm. “This is all about cats. What do cats have to do with anything?”

Taekwoon stared at him for a moment longer before sighing, as if Jaehwan was far too high-maintenance for his tastes. He probably was. He then took the book from Jaehwan’s hand, nose scrunching when the dust wafted up directly into his face. Jaehwan almost cooed at him, at how adorable he’d looked, but stayed silent.

Calmly, Taekwoon began flipping page after page, until, finally, he stopped on a particular one and handed the book back to Jaehwan. The mage shot the elf a warning glare, almost as if saying ‘if you’re stringing me along for a punchline I’ll break your nose’, and looked down at the page Taekwoon had so kindly found for him.

After only a few seconds, Jaehwan’s eyes widened and he looked up at Taekwoon.

“Well, smack me in the ass with a mabari and call me a filthy Fereldan. I’m impressed, Daeguni,” he stated, eyes darting back to the tome. “I didn’t know you could read ancient Tevene.”

“I can’t,” Taekwoon said, simple, and Jaehwan chuckled lightly to himself.

Of course he couldn’t. That would have been silly.

In one smooth motion, Jaehwan ripped the page from the book. The tome was so old that it plucked right out easily. He folded it in half, carefully not to damage the old parchment too much, and slid it into his inner pocket. Then, he turned to Taekwoon.

“Anything more of note in this book?”

“I like the entries about cats,” Taekwoon deadpanned, and Jaehwan, rolling his eyes, promptly closed the book and shoved it into one of the shelves, in a small space between two books that looked to be as ancient as that diary. Then he was following Taekwoon back out, but held him back by grabbing onto his cape before Taekwoon could step outside the shelter of bookshelves.

“Easy, Daeguni, remember we have a part to play,” he whispered softly and heard Taekwoon sigh. Jaehwan almost laughed at the sound.

Jaehwan took the lead again, hoping Taekwoon would catch the hint and play along when he plucked a random tome from the shelf and opened it, making sure it was in the line of sight of the guard that was still standing by the restricted section. How funny it was, that Jaehwan had been bracing for a harrowing quest and he didn’t even need to get near the danger zone. Maker bless Taekwoon’s sneaky little heart.

“See, here?” Jaehwan said, one touch away from too loud in his heavy Orlesian accent, and Taekwoon winced, his expression annoyed, like a child being forced to listen to a parent. It would work just as well. “This is the author I told you about, he says that—”

“Can we go home now?” Taekwoon asked, louder than he had ever heard him even if his cadence was still serene, but the sound carried well enough in the large library, echoing in the book covered walls.

Jaehwan clicked his tongue, feigning exasperation, and put the book back. “Fine, here I am trying to shower you with the wonders of knowledge and all you want to do is go home, so fine, let’s go home.” He threw his hands up in affectation, almost marching away from the hall with Taekwoon following right behind. “And Jacques-Pierre’s better not have wandered into a mausoleum, I’ll have him skinned if I have to explain this to the Grand Enchanter _again_ —”

Jaehwan vaguely registered the guard shooting them an amused glance, and that would have to suffice. He grabbed Taekwoon by the elbow and led him back to the entryway, and Taekwoon didn’t try to protest or wrangle himself free. Good, he didn’t want to try manhandling Taekwoon - that sounded like something that could only end with Jaehwan’s spine snapped in half.

The cold air hit them like a slap to the face once they got outside, grown accustomed to the warmth inside the archives. Taekwoon didn’t look so startled by the difference in temperature, only wincing and pouting, but Jaehwan’s entire body shivered. Winter truly was upon them.

Spotting Hakyeon and Wonshik wasn’t hard. The two were huddled together, backs turned to them, but Jaehwan could see that their heads were darting from side to side each and every time a moan or scream rang through the air. He had the distinct impression Hakyeon was shaking under his cape, and Fear was perched on his shoulder happily grooming its demony feathers. Jaehwan bit his lips not to laugh and looked towards Taekwoon, pressing one index finger to his own lips to tell the elf to be quiet before sneaking down the stairs that led to the archives. Jaehwan approached them carefully, leaning in just enough that they wouldn’t notice before he said—

“Boo.”

Wonshik yelped and Hakyeon screamed, both jumping high in the air with fright. Fear squawked indignantly and flew to Taekwoon’s shoulder, who was rolling his eyes as he followed, while Jaehwan laughed out loud of his own prank.

“Maker’s breath, you two,” Jaehwan said after he managed to get a hold of himself. Both Hakyeon and Wonshik were glaring at him. “They’re just reanimated corpses, they won’t hurt you.”

“Yes, haha, funny, can we go now?” Wonshik said, and Jaehwan sighed and nodded.

“Yes, yes, we can go,” Jaehwan said and gestured vaguely towards the direction that led to the exit, then snapped his fingers at Hakyeon and added in a louder voice and his Orlesian accent, “Let’s go, Jacques-Pierre, before you wander into a mausoleum again.”

Hakyeon and Wonshik stared at Jaehwan with the same puzzled expressions on their faces. Taekwoon went utterly still. Jaehwan raised an eyebrow at him, and it was with satisfaction that he saw Taekwoon’s stony demeanor crumble as he started to laugh, childish and loud and wild, crouching down on the floor and folding into himself.

Jaehwan smiled, feeling an odd sort of accomplishment, and walked away with Taekwoon’s laughter still ringing in the background.

 

✶✶✶

 

Sanghyuk was alone in Jaehwan’s little study when he finally woke up. He didn’t know how long he had slept or what time it was, as being underground made it impossible to see the position of the sun, but he guessed it was well after noon already. He groaned as he stretched his stiff limbs, joints cracking for staying in the same position for too long, and pushed himself up.

Looking around, he found no signs of a blanket or a bedroll Jaehwan might have used to sleep, meaning he had either put it away already or hadn’t used it at all; he wanted to believe the former, but he was almost sure the latter was the case. Jaehwan had probably fallen asleep on his desk.

With a sigh that was in equal measure fond and exasperated, Sanghyuk threw his own blanket aside and got up, the change in angle allowing him to see a note left on the desk for him. Curious, he approached and plucked the note from where it sat, immediately smiling upon recognizing Jaehwan’s round and adorable handwriting.

 

> _“Hyogi,_
> 
> _I’m with the kids at the Necropolis. Won’t be long._
> 
> _There’s food for you on the desk, eat!_
> 
> _Jyani._
> 
> _PS: Please, try not to kill Hongbin.”_

Sanghyuk rolled his eyes, his smile widening a lot more than he would ever admit to, before he put the note back down and searched the desk for said food. He almost immediately located what seemed to be honey bread and a shiny red apple not far from the note, and, seeing that those were the only edible items on the table - because the quill and inkwell didn’t look very tasty - he took them and gave the apple a generous bite. He hadn’t realized how hungry he was; he’d spent most of the night before feeling numb in the heart and queasy in the stomach. Remembering he had to eat wasn’t a priority in his mind.

As he ate, he tried to assess his state of mind. Despite the grief still weighing heavily on his shoulders, his head felt somewhat clearer than it had been - likely a result from a good few hours of sleep. His parents were still gone, his home was still destroyed, worrisome events were still afoot, but he felt like he could process everything more easily now, the turmoil inside him having quieted down some.

He had to give some credit to the talk he had with Jaehwan earlier - the discussion had been eye-opening and clarified a good deal of the things that had been bothering him, and it did bring them both the littlest bit closer. If anything, he knew now that Jaehwan had nothing to do with the coup - if Jaehwan truly wanted him dead, he would have already killed him. He’d spent hours sleeping right next to him, defenseless, and he was still alive. Not only that, but Jaehwan was a blood mage; if he wanted to, he could have gotten rid of all five of them and none would be the wiser. They were underground, away from prying eyes, where nobody could hear them scream.

No, whatever Jaehwan’s true motives and intentions, killing him wasn’t one of them. Besides, Jaehwan hadn’t led him astray so far - if he could trust anyone, it was Jaehwan. Jaehwan, who was resourceful and kind and brave.

His grief over his parents, he would work through quietly and let time heal the worst of it - he already knew it would never go away completely. His home, it could be rebuilt; it would never be the same, for it would be forever tainted with the memories of the ball, but it was made of stone and stone could be replaced. Being the king— That was a bridge he would cross when it came to it.

Now, those cultists— _That_ was something that seemed to require immediate attention.

...But to deal with that he’d need more information, which he would only get once Jaehwan returned from his field trip to the archives - that if he found any information there at all. So, finishing his apple, Sanghyuk set his first goal of the day: getting Hongbin to keep quiet about his feelings towards Jaehwan, even if that meant cutting off his tongue. Yes.

He grabbed his honey bread - the actual meal, the stupid apple was just an appetizer - and slowly made his way out of the study and into the main area. He spotted Hongbin right away, sitting on the ground in the middle of the room, busy with, apparently, sorting out all the provisions they had managed to acquire.

Hongbin didn’t even look up from his task upon Sanghyuk’s entrance. “Almost thought you had died in your sleep. All the noise going on here and you didn’t even stir.”

“Jaehwan gave me a tonic,” Sanghyuk explained, then questioned why he did so; it’s not like he owed Hongbin any explanations.

Hongbin chuckled. “Of course he did.”

“Speaking of which,” Sanghyuk started, deciding that there was no point in beating around the bush, and since the opening was already there he might as well get it over with. “That thing you said to me at the ball.”

Hongbin stopped what he was doing and straightened his back so he could look at Sanghyuk, face completely neutral. “I’ve said many things. You have to be more specific.”

Sanghyuk chewed on his tongue. He didn’t want to actually have to spell it out - that he was about to have that conversation at all was already mortifying enough. He was really hoping Hongbin would catch his meaning without him having to elaborate.

“About— About Jaehwan,” Sanghyuk finally replied. There was only one thing Hongbin had said that involved Jaehwan. Surely he would remember. “Whatever you saw or— _Think_ you saw, I hope you won’t tell Jaehwan about—”

“Let me stop you right there, baby monarch,” Hongbin interrupted him and raised one hand, expression shifting to an amused one. “I’m not going to say anything to your maleficar butt-buddy. I have no interest in playing matchmaker.”

Sanghyuk’s face felt hot enough that he would believe someone was pressing blazing coals to his cheeks, but he still found it in himself to glare. “And I have your word?”

Hongbin scoffed. “Sure, for whatever my word’s worth to you. I have my own problems to worry about, I have no time to waste on yours.” Then, pausing for a moment, Hongbin shrugged and added, “And I also don’t give a flying nug’s ass about your love woes. So there’s that.”

Sanghyuk might have felt a little offended if he weren’t so relieved. He wouldn’t have trusted Hongbin’s word, indeed, but he _did_ believe Hongbin didn’t care. So. That was that.

“Alright. Thank you,” Sanghyuk said, to which Hongbin made a dismissive gesture with his hand and went back to sorting through their supplies. “Need any help with that?”

“No, I have a system going, you’ll just mess it up,” Hongbin replied. “Go wash your face, there’s dried drool on your fish scales.”

“Excuse you, they’re _dragon_ scales.”

“Whatever, they still have drool all over them,” Hongbin said, then looked up to shoot Sanghyuk a cheeky smirk. “Wouldn’t want your magical loverboy to see that, would ya?”

The urge to cut off Hongbin’s tongue came back with a vengeance, exactly like the blush on his cheeks. Saying nothing more as to not give Hongbin any more ammunition to mock him with, Sanghyuk moved to a bowl filled with water that had been left atop the desk to do as Hongbin so kindly suggested and wash his face.

He was just done doing that and reaching for the drying cloth hung over the back of the chair when the door opened with its loud scraping of stone on stone, and through it came pouring in Hakyeon, followed by Wonshik, Taekwoon and, lastly, Jaehwan. Hakyeon and Wonshik were pale and had haunted looks to their faces, while Taekwoon seemed as aloof as always and Jaehwan looked very pleased with himself.

“Ah, there you are,” Hongbin greeted without raising his head from his task. “I was starting to think we’d have to go rescue you from the clutches of the undead.”

“Nope,” Wonshik said and shook his head firmly, flopping down on a corner of the couch before heaving a tired sigh. “I don’t even want to hear the word ‘undead’ for at least the next decade.”

“That bad?” Sanghyuk inquired, bland, as he finished drying his face and hands.

“He’s just being dramatic,” Jaehwan stated, unhooking the clasp of his cape and letting it slide off his shoulders, promptly folding it in his arms. “Our excursion was a most successful one.”

“Found something, then?” Sanghyuk asked, but Jaehwan didn’t answer him right away, busying himself with plucking dried leaves from the hem of his cape. Hakyeon had moved to his pack of belongings, fishing a change of clothes from there so he could get out of those robes. Taekwoon was already sitting down on the opposite side of the couch next to Wonshik, expression blank.

“We did, actually,” Jaehwan finally answered Sanghyuk’s question, leaving his cape aside and retrieving the folded page from his pocket. “This is all we could find, but it’s quite enlightening nonetheless.”

“Thank the Maker, I almost thought going there would be a waste of time,” Sanghyuk admitted and Jaehwan shrugged, a lopsided smile on his lips.

“Not at all, we found something useful and got to hear Daeguni’s lovable laughter, wins all around.”

Both Sanghyuk and Hongbin looked surprised at that, heads turning towards Taekwoon who had his head down, hair hiding his features. The tips of his pointy ears were red.

Hongbin shook his head to get back to the moment, motioning to the provisions before him. “Just give me a second to finishing counting these, I’m almost done.”

“Take your time, I need to change,” Hakyeon said as he moved behind the screens.

A comfortable silence falling over the group while Hakyeon finished getting dressed and Jaehwan went to put his cape away. Sanghyuk pulled a chair for himself and plopped down on the seat, finally beginning to eat his honey bread.

Hakyeon came back wearing his simple linen tunic and trousers after about two minutes, and after handing Jaehwan his robes back, sat down on the floor next to Hongbin, who seemed to be about done with his counting. Jaehwan went to put the robes and cape Hakyeon had used away in the chest, returning to sit on the armchair next to Sanghyuk.

Only once everyone was properly settled, Jaehwan began speaking.

“As I said, this isn’t much, but it’s a start,” he said as he unfolded the page, eyes skimming the black ink of the writings. “And a start might be all we need to know where to turn to.”

“What does it say?” Wonshik rumbled in his deep voice, head tipped back and eyes closed.

Jaehwan frowned at the page for a moment as he tried choosing the words to explain it in a way that made sense. “This is a page from a diary, a very old one. It’s written in ancient Tevene, and while I am not very well versed in the language, I know enough to be able to read small sentences and loose words in this.”

Most of the group seemed unimpressed.

“So… All we have are bits and pieces you may or may not be translating correctly?” Sanghyuk deadpanned and Jaehwan shot him a warning glare. Sanghyuk quickly dropped the ironic tone. “So, what does it say?”

Jaehwan glared at him for a second longer before he turned to the page in his hands. “The name of the owner of this diary has been long lost, but in this page, they hint at being a priest, a high priest, to an Old God.”

“Does it say which Old God?” Sanghyuk asked, curiosity picking up. “If we know which it is, it might be easier to know what to do. If it was one of the Old Gods that became Archdemons already, we may as well leave it be.” He paused then, as if realizing what he had said, and chuckled bitterly to himself. “Like we’d be so lucky.”

Jaehwan sighed, shooting a sympathetic look towards Sanghyuk before continuing in a softer tone. “That’s the thing. It’s— It says here—” Jaehwan huffed and rubbed one of his temples with his fingertips, closing his eyes. “It’s bad.”

“Of course it is,” Hakyeon mumbled.

“It says here,” Jaehwan repeated after steeling himself, “and I’m only roughly translating, so excuse my poor Tevene, ‘ _The path to the world of dreams is a difficult one to walk, but the Lord of Dreams, in his glory_ \- or maybe ‘apples’, but that wouldn’t make sense - _shall lead me by the hand into his domain and there we shall rule the world that wakes and the world that dreams, as one. Praised be him, O Dream Dragon.’_ ” Jaehwan paused, lips trembling, and cleared his throat to add in a forcefully lighter tone. “And then he starts rambling about an orange cat he found in the street.”

“Lord of Dreams?” Sanghyuk asked, his eyebrows shooting up, and he looked skeptical, at best. “Are you sure you’re not mistranslating something there? You may as well be mistaking the meaning, this can be about Lusacan. Or even Razikale. Night and Mystery. Not Dreams.”

Jaehwan blinked at Sanghyuk, looking almost offended. “I think I would have known if it was about Razikale or Lusacan. This is about neither. It says here ‘somni’, and that means ‘dream’ in ancient Tevene. It says _Dragon of Dreams_ , and trust me, I would have loved this to be about something we could understand, but it isn’t. The cult’s name is Somnavaris. It branches from the word ‘somni’.” He paused, took a deep breath to steady himself, and lowered his eyes to the floor as he murmured. “I did say it was bad, Hyogi.”

Sanghyuk’s expression turned grim, lips twisting into a concerned frown. The others were just looking at Jaehwan expectantly, as if waiting for more explanation. Since none came, Hakyeon took it upon himself to ask.

“So… What does that mean, exactly?”

Jaehwan pursed his lips, gathering his thoughts before answering. “The Old Gods—” He interrupted himself and shook his head, rethinking the way he would explain this. “There are seven known Old Gods. There is Dumat, the Dragon of Silence, he was the first Archdemon; the second is Zazikel, Dragon of Chaos, or Freedom, depending on who you speak to; the third is the Dragon of Fire, named Toth; then we have Andoral, the Dragon of Slaves; Urthemiel, the Dragon of Beauty and the latest Archdemon; and we have the two last remaining Old Gods, those being Razikale, Dragon of Mystery, and Lusacan, Dragon of Night.”

Hongbin frowned, as if adding two plus two in his head. “None of them represent dreams.”

“Exactly,” Jaehwan confirmed with a nod. “Which means this is an unknown Old God.”

The silence that followed that explanation was grim, somber, all of them with their heads low in thought. The first to break the silence was Wonshik.

“So let me get this straight,” Wonshik began, moving his hands in front of himself as if he could make the world stop with the gesture. “This jewel everyone is losing their minds about, it’s related to an eighth Old God nobody knows about and there’s a band of lunatics chasing us down because they want to find it?”

Jaehwan seemed to weigh the words, and then nodded. “Yup, that’s about right.”

Wonshik scoffed, shaking his head. “Great.”

“It’s not exactly new information,” Jaehwan added, and all eyes snapped back at him. “Years ago there was a scholar who released a thesis regarding an unknown Old God that was erased from Tevinter history. It is something I’ve read long ago, so the details are foggy at best, but I do remember being quite fascinated by it.” He then straightened his spine, pompous. “And I’ve read it while I was being trained in the College of Magi in Cumberland, which is where I think we should go next.”

“We are _not_ going to Cumberland,” Sanghyuk promptly said. Jaehwan opened his mouth to protest but Sanghyuk interrupted before the mage could get a single word out. “It’ll take over a week to reach Cumberland, and the chances of this… This cult to be in Cumberland is that much higher because the College has one of the best collections of magical history in Nevarra. As much as I hate to not make use of the information they have, the College is the best place for this cult to hide. I don’t think the risk is worth it.”

Jaehwan lowered his head, his own way of admitting defeat. Sanghyuk wanted to apologize for being so harsh, but he also didn’t - he wanted to keep Jaehwan safe as much as Jaehwan was keeping him safe. It was a two-way road. It had to be a two-way road.

“Maybe we should just leave it to someone else to deal with this,” Wonshik said, attracting the attention of the others. “Perhaps the Seekers of Truth could—”

“ _No_. Absolutely not,” Jaehwan said, paling at the suggestion. Sanghyuk’s heart went crashing down to the pit of his stomach. “The first thing the Seekers will do when they lay eyes on me is give me the brand, you want me to be made  _Tranquil_?”

“As much as I think they’d be able to help, I agree with Jaehwan. Absolutely not,” Sanghyuk immediately agreed, close to leaping forward to shield Jaehwan physically from that idea. “We can’t risk Jaehwan being made Tranquil just as much as we can’t risk going right into the cult’s nest.”

“Maybe we should go appeal directly to the Divine,” Hakyeon offered, snapping his mouth closed audibly once all eyes turned to him. “I— I mean, if the Templars are involved…”

“Uhm… Yeah, I don’t think that’s going to fly,” Wonshik said after considering it for a moment. “No offense, Hakyeon, but the Divine is a little… She listens to petitioners, yes, but I don’t believe she would have any power to help us with something like this.”

“And we can’t really go to the authorities, not in Nevarra, at least,” Hongbin said, staring at the bottom of his empty cup. “With the Templars calling the shots, all military and city security have to answer directly to the acting Knight-Commander.”

“This just gets better and better,” Hakyeon sighed the words, closing his eyes and massaging the bridge of his nose with his thumb and middle finger.

“Perhaps,” Taekwoon spoke, and everyone looked at him in surprise, clearly not expecting him to have an input, “if we deal with the threat our pursuers represent, if we find out who they are or what they want, it will make it easier for us to evade them.” He paused, blinking slowly like a sleepy jungle cat. “We have been running in circles for the past two days, oblivious to the true reason behind it. Unmasking one of our pursuers will surely lead us to unmask others. Discovering their motives or intentions will give us an inkling as to how to fight back. Those should be the priorities, instead of chasing rumors.”

Jaehwan blinked, once, and grinned. “I don’t think I’ve ever heard you talk this much, Daeguni. And you’re right, people actively hunting us is more important than academic endeavors.”

“Then we should go to Hunter Fell,” Hongbin said, receiving questioning looks from all sides. “I have a contact there. An… Informant. He might be of help to us.”

“That if we can even trust him,” Wonshik snided. Hongbin rolled his eyes.

“We can. I have worked with him many times in the past, and he has always proved to be very professional. Besides,” Hongbin said with a grin, “he owes me a few favors.”

Wonshik only shot Hongbin a death glare from the corners of his eyes, but said nothing more.

“I suppose that’s a good place to get started as any,” Sanghyuk declared, getting up from the chair and clapping his hands to clear off the bread crumbs.

Jaehwan pursed his lips, fists clenched over his lap so hard his knuckles were pale. Sanghyuk frowned at that, but Jaehwan spoke before the prince had a chance to ask what was wrong. “Since we’re going in that direction, then I should continue on to Perendale.”

Sanghyuk grimaced. “But Perendale sucks. I don’t want to go there.”

“And you won’t have to. I said _I_ am going to Perendale,” Jaehwan firmly corrected him, and Sanghyuk understood why the mage seemed so tense.

“What? No,” Sanghyuk said and shook his head. “No, no, no, you’re not going to Perendale alone.”

“Yes, I am,” Jaehwan affirmed, raising his head to meet Sanghyuk’s eyes. “We need information, and if we cannot go to Cumberland, we have to go _somewhere_ to get it. Perendale doesn’t have the best Circle, granted, but it is preferable that I go there instead of going to Hasmal, which is the opposite way to Hunter Fell.”

“But why are you going alone?” Wonshik asked, eyes narrowed with confusion.

“The Perendale Circle is… Not a very good place. Or a welcoming one,” Jaehwan explained with a grimace. “It sits on the border with the Anderfels, and many of the mages there are Anders. They can be… Difficult.”

“But why—”

“They won’t let us all in. In fact, they might let us in and never let us out again,” Jaehwan said and sighed. “I am a mage and I have already passed my Harrowing, which will give me credibility.”

“Passing your Harrowing doesn’t mean you’ll be safe!” Sanghyuk protested. “This is insane, you can’t just— Just—”

“I can and I will,” Jaehwan said, raising his eyebrows, and got up from his chair. He wasn’t as tall as Sanghyuk nor as broad, but he didn’t seem intimidated by it. Never had been. “I told you yesterday, didn’t I? I’ll go to any lengths.”

Sanghyuk’s eyes widened and he only didn’t step back because he’d been frozen to the spot by the mage’s words. They held each other’s gaze, a battle of wills Sanghyuk already knew he was about to lose, but he couldn’t just accept it, let Jaehwan frolic into danger on his own like that, he couldn’t—

Jaehwan seemed to have read his mind. “Hyogi. I’m going. Please, trust me on this.”

“Great, it’s decided!” Hongbin said, and Sanghyuk bit his lips not to start shouting. “We should wait for nightfall to hit the road, harder for creepy cultists to spot us in the dark.”

Sanghyuk wanted to argue, to kick and scream and throw a tantrum, but the look in Jaehwan’s eyes said it all: he had no choice on the matter.

Sanghyuk took a deep breath and moved to start preparing to depart.

 

✶

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> guys, look, LOOK, [THE TAROT CARD SET IS COMPLETE](https://kimwabi.tumblr.com/post/177186442369)!!!!!!! @ tumblr user kimwabi: you are the real mvp here.
> 
> in other news, the lore guide has been updated with two new entries! i'm trying to update it on the same day i post a new chapter, and the entries will usually have something to do with stuff covered in it, to keep it all on track, i guess.
> 
> as usual, if you have any questions, suggestion, comments or if you want to yell incoherently at me about anything at all, you can drop a message here on the comments, on my [twitter](https://twitter.com/ghostlike91), or if you'd rather do it anonymously, on my [tumblr](https://ghostlike91.tumblr.com)! (speaking of tumblr, i've made a gifset for this fic because i'm a visual hoe and like seeing the concept, it's [here](https://ghostlike91.tumblr.com/post/177110309754/vixx-dragon-age-au-everything-ready-for) if you'd like to see it)
> 
> i hope you enjoyed this chapter, stay tuned for more [finger guns]


	6. Alone

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> since the traveling is about to commence, here's a fun [interactive map of thedas](https://bendingwind.bitbucket.io/) for anyone who wants to see where is what. ~~it's the same map i use to plan out stuff, btw.~~
> 
> enjoy! ♡

✶

 

Their few belongings were packed, their supplies evenly distributed, they had washed and put on clean clothes, they were wearing their most comfortable boots, and they were prepared to depart. Hakyeon was the first one to be ready, and now was sitting on a nearby chair shooting disapproving glances at the way Taekwoon had tied his hair up, almost making it look like there was a big black rat’s nest on his head. Wonshik had to wonder if the elf had ever even  _seen_ a hair comb in his entire life.

Sanghyuk, his scales covered up by bandages again, was slouching on the couch, watching Jaehwan as if the mage had sprouted flowers from his head - Wonshik found it easy to deduce that the reason was that Jaehwan was not wearing his usual robes, but a combination of a tunic a little too large for him and trousers. That must have been the prince’s first time seeing his advisor dressed like that. It was sort of adorable.

And Hongbin was standing near the door, trying to shoo one of Taekwoon’s ravens away - Wonshik wasn’t sure which one, both birds looked pretty much the same to him - as the thing had taken a special liking to the elf. It would be comical if Wonshik weren’t still so angry at Hongbin.

Overall, they were all quiet, turned inwards to their own thoughts and concerns. They barely spoke as they left Jaehwan’s hideout and made their way through the catacombs again, following the mage silently as he guided them to the best exit. This time, the dust and rats that dwelled in those tunnels didn’t bother Wonshik as much; too much on his mind to concern himself with such things. His head was still spinning with all the events that took place the last couple of days - meeting Hongbin again, seeing a future with Jimin only to have that future ripped away from him, the massacre at the ball, cultists, Old Gods, Templars. And now he was leaving Nevarra City, the only home he’d ever known.

He had traveled before, of course; he wasn’t _that_ much of an inexperienced dork, although, granted, he never traveled far. He’s never seen the ocean, for one. The largest body of water he’d ever laid his eyes on was the Minanter River, and the Minanter River he could see easily as it was right outside the capital’s gates. Wonshik hoped his lack of world knowledge wouldn’t be a burden to his new companions.

Or, well, maybe to Hongbin. He didn’t mind being a burden to Hongbin. He reserved himself the right to be petty.

Once they finally stepped outside, being greeted by a slap of cold wind right to their faces, the sun was just setting on the horizon, a thin orange line painted on a sky that was already filled with stars. Wonshik took a deep breath, glad for the fresh air so strikingly different from the stuffy, claustrophobic atmosphere of the catacombs.

And like that, they turned west and started on their way, keeping out of the main roads and following the shores of the Minanter River, letting brush and darkness keep them hidden. The first couple hours of journey were silent, all of them tense as if expecting strangers in robes to pounce at them at any second, but as time ticked by with no incident, the six of them began to relax. Little banters started to appear here and there, whispers at some moments, controlled laughter at others.

They stopped to rest after around two or three hours of walking, mostly for Sanghyuk’s sake who had started to complain his feet hurt after the first hour - Wonshik lost count how many times Jaehwan said ‘I told you so’. It wasn’t a surprise, as Sanghyuk was a prince and had lived a fairly sheltered life. Wonshik was absolutely certain that the only way Sanghyuk had ever traveled anywhere was inside a comfortable carriage.

Despite Sanghyuk’s complaints, they were making good time. Looking behind, to the way they’d come, Wonshik could make out only a vague shape in the distance, slightly darker than the night sky, that was Nevarra City. Taekwoon’s ravens went flying ahead, likely scouting to make sure they wouldn’t run into trouble. So far, they hadn’t.

Wonshik let himself fall behind, not for being slow, but because he didn’t feel like a part of the group; Sanghyuk and Jaehwan had known each other for years, so had Hakyeon and Hongbin, and Taekwoon was on friendly terms with Jaehwan and warming up to Hakyeon. Wonshik had none of that - he only knew Hongbin, and his relationship with Hongbin could not be called friendly. At all. Where they stood, they might as well be oil and water.

It was easier like that, he thought. Not getting attached. He had a duty to perform, which was to keep the prince safe - there was a chance not all of them would make it to the end of that road, if they made it at all. Protecting Sanghyuk would be much easier if he didn’t get any feelings mixed up in it.

It was enough how Hongbin was distracting him already.

It was deep into the night, and his companions were slowly starting to show signs of fatigue. Yawning, shaking their heads to scare the sleep away, walking slower than they had at the start. They would likely set up camp soon, try to sleep for about one hour or two and have something to eat before setting off again. The party was determined, though - they would keep walking until they couldn’t walk anymore. It was good - the journey to Hunter Fell, on foot, would take them around three days. The longer they walked without interruptions, the shorter that journey would be. Wonshik wanted to get there as soon as possible; Hunter Fell had inns, and those inns had baths, and Wonshik wanted desperately to bathe properly. They only had one magical basin of water - “It’s dwarven made!”, Jaehwan had told them, like it was something fascinating - and a washing cloth, which, despite cleaning him enough, was nothing compared to an actual bath with warm water and soap.

And an inn had food too, warm food, like lamb stew with potatoes and fresh bread and mulled wine to fight off the cold—

“Great night for a stroll, isn’t it?”

Wonshik clenched his jaw. Hongbin had slowed down to match his pace, and Wonshik had been so lost thinking about baths and food he didn’t realize until the elf was next to him.

“What do you want, Hongbin?” Wonshik asked; his defenses promptly went up, a knee jerk reaction to Hongbin’s general existence in his immediate perimeter.

“I’m just trying to make conversation,” Hongbin replied with a shrug. “You looked a little lonely.”

“How is it that they say? Better alone than in poor company?”

Hongbin rolled his eyes at his reply. “You’re really not going to let it go, will you? Even though none of this is my fault.”

“It _is_ your fault,” Wonshik corrected, throwing Hongbin an angry glare from the corner of his eyes.

This time, Hongbin’s answer didn’t come with laughter. His expression was hard as if sculpted in stone, eyes narrowed dangerously. “No, it isn’t, and you know it.” Just the opening was enough to make Wonshik want to flinch; he didn’t, but only barely. “Sure, maybe if I wasn’t here your little girlfriend would still be alive, but your precious king and queen would still be dead, the cultists would still have attacked. And guess what: _you_ chose this. You sent your wifey away to be with me, _you_ did it. You could have walked away, you could have ignored me, you could have kicked me out of that goddamn balcony, but you stayed, and you stayed because you wanted to stay. Because you still feel something underneath all the resentment and bitterness you keep pushing onto me, and if you want to blame me, then go right fucking ahead, but don’t stand there like some poor victim who was oh so very wronged and pretend you don’t share the responsibility for this.”

Wonshik felt the words like a punch to the gut. Keeping his composure wasn’t an easy feat, and keeping on walking was also difficult, but Wonshik somehow managed. Likely out of spite.

After a second he took to catch his breath, Hongbin continued. “You’re hurt. I get it. And you’re angry with me, I know. I’m the first one to admit that I fucked up by leaving you high and dry, but I didn’t kill your friend. I didn’t know about the coup, I didn’t know about the jewel.” He paused, and from his peripheral vision, Wonshik saw his Adam’s apple bob up and down. “If you want to stay angry, then by all means, stay angry. But I’m done taking the blame for things I have no responsibility for. If you want to hate me, then hate for things that are actually my fault instead of projecting your own guilt on me just so you can sleep better at night.”

“Hey, everything alright back there?” Hakyeon’s voice caused Wonshik to snap his eyes up, and the relief that washed over him was like nothing else. Hakyeon had noticed the increased animosity between them, likely because Hongbin had raised his voice at some point. Bless Hakyeon for being a busybody.

“Yeah, everything’s lovely,” Hongbin said, acidic, and moved forward to walk next to Hakyeon again after shooting Wonshik one last glare.

Wonshik kept quiet and lowered his head again. He wished he could have found it in himself to argue, to turn the conversation around so that Hongbin was the one left feeling like he’d just survived a hurricane, but there was nothing he could say. Hongbin was right. Every little thing that had come out of Hongbin’s mouth was the truth.

There was nothing else for him to do but to let that truth engulf him, let himself sink into it, be pulled down by those words as if they were quicksand, and keep on walking.

 

✶✶✶

 

It was already the second night in their journey, Hunter Fell now a little more than a day away. They had settled on a good enough pace, having grown accustomed to the road and aware of their own limitations. They would stop every couple hours to rest for a while, maybe eat something, before they set out again.

Sleeping was a bit harder, since they didn’t quite trust each other enough yet to have just one of them keep guard, so they would keep watch in odd pairs - Hakyeon had sat with Sanghyuk for about two hours while the others slept, and Hongbin with Jaehwan, which was likely a bad idea as Jaehwan seemed to want to punish Hongbin for stealing from his prince by talking Hongbin’s ear off. Hongbin wouldn’t shut up about it and begged Hakyeon to change watch partners with him.

As if. Sanghyuk was at least quiet. Plus, Sanghyuk would probably severely damage Hongbin’s face, since the princeling didn’t quite forgive his friend from all the stealing he’d done. Or the constant snark.

Wonshik was quiet, and being paired with Taekwoon meant that their sleep would not be interrupted by loud bantering or fights; they would sit there, sometimes exchange a few words like “do you want some water” or “should we get another blanket”. It was nice. They were nice to each other.

They were learning how to make their unlikely partnership work, slowly but surely, one step at a time.

As they continued on their journey, Hakyeon couldn’t help but steal one or ten glances at Taekwoon from time to time. Each second he grew more and more intrigued by the Dalish elf; he remembered chasing him across a ballroom and out a second story window, remembered holding a dagger to his neck, and remembered how at any moment did Taekwoon seem afraid. Then they go to the Necropolis and he flinches at the sight of a spider. He didn’t talk much, but had a lot to say; his expression was often neutral, bordering on bored, detached, and at the same time he had the sense of humor of a child who giggles at the weirdest things. He gave nothing away, but Hakyeon could still see so much in him.

It was just curiosity, of course. Like that one time when he was little and some men claimed to have accidentally fished out a baby kraken from the bottom of the ocean and Hakyeon begged his mother to let him pay the fee to see it, only to be met with a normal dead octopus with a few extra tentacles attached to its body. It was the same with Taekwoon - he wanted to pay the fee to see what was hiding underneath, and he would be met with something normal and not worth the few coppers he spent to see it.

There was nothing wrong with Taekwoon. There was nothing amazing about him, and there was nothing magical about him as well.

Certainly.

He was just one very strange elf. That was all.

Taekwoon often had his head tipped back, facing the sky, the moons, whenever Hakyeon took a peek at him from the corners of his eyes. Sometimes his eyes would be closed. Sometimes he would be staring up at the stars. Sometimes he would be following one of his ravens with his gaze, and sometimes he would be, miraculously enough, keeping his eyes ahead on the road.

This time, he had his head tipped back and his eyes closed and Hakyeon took that opportunity to watch him without worrying the elf would notice him. His hair, black like ink, was tied up in a messy excuse of a ponytail, several strands loose and knots everywhere - it sort of made Hakyeon want to run his fingers through it, even if only to tame it a little. His expression was peaceful, unbothered, and Hakyeon took notice of his pouty lips and puffy cheeks, the smooth slope of his nose, tattoo - _vallaslin_ , he remembered the elf saying - reflecting the moonlight in a way that it almost seemed to glow. That elf was gorgeous in a subtle, mysterious way, and his personality was a perfect reflection of his exterior.

The sound of flapping wings overhead caused Taekwoon to open his eyes and Hakyeon to look up to the source of the noise. He soon spotted a grey owl flying low right above them, only to take a spot on a tree branch nearby, hooting as it watched them walk by.

“A messenger from the Lady of the Hunt,” Taekwoon’s voice was soft when he spoke, as it usually was, that gentle little whisper to not strain his vocal cords, and Hakyeon turned to give him a puzzled look. Taekwoon smiled briefly at him before continuing, “Long ago, before the fall of Elvhenan, the leaders of the People would pray to the goddess Andruil for guidance, for she was the lady of the forest, and the People were taught to respect her territory. Andruil would then send a messenger - the owl. The People would follow the owl, who would lead them to where game was abundant and the halla could roam, to a land blessed by the Lady of the Hunt.”

Hakyeon had the distinct impression his eyes were twinkling with a thousand little stars as he heard the tale, moving his head back to watch the owl until they had walked too far for him to continue doing so. He cleared his throat after noticing he’d spent far too long without speaking, and turned again to Taekwoon to shoot him an amused grin. “Think that owl had a message for us?”

Taekwoon shrugged, looking ahead once more. “Perhaps. Or maybe it was just an owl. In any case, we should hope that, if it had a message for us, it is a good one.”

“I somehow doubt that,” Hakyeon wryly replied, to which Taekwoon chuckled through his nose.

“I’m afraid I have to agree.”

Not wanting the conversation to die out, Hakyeon suddenly asked, “Are the halla as beautiful as the stories make it out to be? I have never seen one.”

It was a truth Hakyeon was regretful to admit; as a raider, he was supposed to have seen everything Thedas had to see, but alas, there were many wondrous things he’d never laid his eyes upon. Yet. The deer-like creatures so important to the Dalish elves were one of those things.

Taekwoon blinked a couple of times at him and nodded. “They are. They are very friendly as well, if you treat them with respect.”

“What happens if you don’t?”

“I wouldn’t know from experience, but I hear they have very strong hindlegs.”

Hakyeon couldn’t help but laugh at that. “Good to know you’ve never been kicked by an angry halla.”

“Mm. The halla were my friends,” Taekwoon answered, and the past tense in his sentence caused Hakyeon to frown.

“Were? They’re not anymore?”

Taekwoon’s expression gave nothing away as he looked ahead once more. “I have not seen any halla in many years.”

Hakyeon grew more curious as Taekwoon spoke, and now he truly wanted to get to the bottom of it. “Your clan doesn’t have any halla?”

Taekwoon didn’t reply right away, a tense couple of seconds ticking by until the answer came in a low voice, hard in a way Hakyeon had never heard the elf speak before.

“I don’t have a clan.”

Hakyeon didn’t need to be a mindreader to know he’d hit a nerve with his question. He wanted to know more, of course he did, but he could physically see Taekwoon’s defenses going up, high walls of an impenetrable fort, so he decided that it could wait.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to pry,” Hakyeon quickly said, and Taekwoon nodded, licking his bottom lip nervously. Hakyeon _really_ hit a nerve there, huh?

“It’s alright. Maybe I’ll tell you about it someday.”

“Only if you want to,” Hakyeon said, trying to sound kind when all he wanted to do was keep probing the elf for answers. He deserved a prize for it, really; it wasn’t an easy feat. “I was going to ask about your family, but I take it you don’t want to speak of it either.”

Taekwoon ducked his head. “I’m sorry.”

Hakyeon smiled at him, shaking his head. “Don’t be. It’s truly fine.”

“Tell me about yours,” Taekwoon turned his head to him, eyes wide with childlike curiosity.

“My family?” Hakyeon clarified, receiving a short nod in response. Hakyeon hummed, rolling his eyes up as he thought of what he could say. “Uh… Let’s see, I was born and raised in a little village just outside Llomerryn, in Rivain. My father was a raider with the Felicissima Armada, and after he died he left his ship to me.”

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have asked,” Taekwoon said and ducked his head again, ashamed, but Hakyeon chuckled.

“It’s alright, it has been many years. I was still a child when he passed,” Hakyeon explained, and the elf seemed to be somehow appeased by that. Hakyeon continued with his tale. “My mother is a Seer, I’ve mentioned that before, right? So is my sister. I have two siblings, my brother is the oldest of the three of us. He’s a traveling merchant, married with a nice lady and they have a son, he’s five years old.” Hakyeon prattled on, and by then he was used to people losing interest in what he was saying, but Taekwoon was hanging on his every word. “My sister is not married yet, but on her last letter to me, she mentioned she’s being courted. So who knows, maybe the next time I visit I’ll have a new nephew or niece.”

“You seem to very close with your family,” Taekwoon commented, and Hakyeon promptly nodded to agree, a bright smile blooming on his face.

“I am. We are all very close, and the people from our village are also all very friendly,” he explained, still beaming at Taekwoon. “My mother is the village’s healer, so basically every person in the village came to our home at least once. I grew up with many different people around me.”

“It explains how you are so open,” Taekwoon mused under his breath, and the smile on Hakyeon’s face disappeared to be replaced by a suspicious glare.

“Maybe. Is that a problem?”

Taekwoon chuckled and shook his head in a negative. “No. On the contrary, it’s quite admirable.” In a softer tone, he added, “I wish I could be like that, sometimes.”

Hakyeon’s eyebrows shot up at that, surprised with the elf’s words. “You are fine the way you are,” Hakyeon said, honest, for it was something he would have told anyone. Taekwoon’s cheeks turned rosy at that. To lighten up the mood, he jokefully added, “Besides, didn’t you take a vow of silence? No use being friendly if you can’t communicate with others.”

That seemed to work to ease some of the Dalish’s tension, for he smiled shyly and said, “I won’t be under a vow forever.”

Now _that_ was new. “You won’t? Aren’t those things for life?”

Taekwoon shrugged again. “I have a duty to fulfill. Once I have accomplished my task, I will not be obligated to hold the vow any longer, if I do not wish to.”

“What happens if you accidentally break the vow?” Hakyeon asked, again curious with what the elf was telling him.

“Nothing pleasant, I assume.”

“You don’t know?”

“I’ll probably lose favor. Maybe Fear and Deceit will peck out my tongue in retribution,” he mused then shrugged. “Or I’ll be deemed incapable of performing the task that was given to me, and that task will be given to someone more deserving.”

“The more you talk, the more confused I am and the more I want to know exactly who you work for,” Hakyeon admitted. Taekwoon shot him a side smile that caused his heart to go all bouncy inside his chest. Weird.

“Perhaps you will know. But only in good time,” Taekwoon replied. “For now, I am oath-bound to not reveal anything.”

Hakyeon huffed and pouted. “You sure don’t make it easy on my curiosity.”

The elf looked actually apologetic, lowering his head in shame, the tips of his ears red. “Sorry.”

Hakyeon wanted to reach out and pet Taekwoon’s head as if he were a puppy, but held that urge in check; it was ridiculous how cute he thought that elf was, and it was even more ridiculous how he couldn’t seem to stop finding him adorable. And it wasn’t even something Taekwoon did on purpose, not like Jaehwan making cute voices and puckering his lips and puffing out his cheeks. It was something that was just— _His_. There was a naiveté to his actions, as if, despite the elf’s knowledge of many things, he’d never truly learned how to behave in social situations. Hakyeon had been noticing such for a while, how Taekwoon was constantly watching the others interact with an interest that bordered on fascination, and how flustered he became whenever he was thrown into a situation he wasn’t familiar with - like when Sanghyuk proposed they played a game the night before and Taekwoon got so lost he had to scramble away with some flimsy excuse just so he wouldn’t have to take part in it. He said he had to feed the ravens.

His ravens were demons. Demons don’t need to eat.

“It’s fine,” Hakyeon finally said, smiling warmly at the elf. Whether his innocence was an act or not, Hakyeon still wanted to be nice. Who knows, if the elf had ill intentions, Hakyeon being nice would maybe dissuade him from that path. “But can I ask you something? You don’t have to answer if you don’t want to.”

Taekwoon looked at Hakyeon curiously and nodded his permission, blinking expectantly as he waited for him to ask his question.

“You said you don’t have a clan,” Hakyeon began, careful. “If you don’t have a clan, then… How long have you been alone?”

The question seemed to take Taekwoon by surprise, for his eyes widened and lips parted ever so slightly. Then he looked down, unable to hold eye contact with Hakyeon. Hakyeon didn’t really expect him to answer that. It was too intimate a question, too personal, considering they had only met a couple of days ago, a couple of days during most of which they had been at odds. But he did reply, and the answer, albeit short, spoke volumes of loneliness.

“Long enough.”

It broke Hakyeon’s heart to hear it, but he didn’t have time to come up with a good enough answer, for Taekwoon picked up his pace to distance himself. All Hakyeon could do was give himself an imaginary pat on the back - that was one sure way to kill a conversation that had been going fine. He really needed to learn to keep his big mouth shut. _Good job, dumbass, way to go._

 

✶✶✶

 

It wasn’t fair. No matter how Sanghyuk looked at it, it just was not fair. He’d barely gotten into a more friendly relationship with Jaehwan, and he would leave for who knows how long in a short while. He wanted to be angry and blame someone for it, blame the Maker or Jaehwan himself, blame his own hopes and expectations, but he understood, deep down, that Jaehwan was going to Perendale on his own because it was necessary.

Still, it didn’t feel right. Sanghyuk felt alone like he never had felt before. His family was not there, he didn’t have any of his friends from the court or the servants who were closer to him - gone, all gone. He didn’t know his new companions that well yet, and now Jaehwan was leaving.

He was alone. Not physically, but in a spiritual level.

And he was lost. So lost. He was lost and alone and he felt too small in a world that was far too big. It wasn’t something he was used to feeling, it was foreign and wrong. He wanted to go home. He wanted his room in Castrum Draconis, his large, comfortable bed and his soft sheets. He wanted to listen to his mother nag him about every little thing, he wanted his father to point out every flaw he had and list the reasons why he wouldn’t be a good king.

He wanted Jaehwan to stay.

Jaehwan was quiet as he walked next to him, eyeing the ground and kicking some pebbles here and there. He didn’t look like he was very thrilled about leaving either, but Sanghyuk knew better than anyone that, once Jaehwan decided on something, not even the Maker himself was able to change his mind. Jaehwan would leave, and it would be soon - Sanghyuk could already see the bridge in the distance, the bridge Jaehwan would not cross alongside them. Crossing that bridge would take them to Hunter Fell. Jaehwan would continue on ahead, to Perendale. Alone.

There was so little time left. He still had so much to say. He wanted to tell Jaehwan how he was sorry for everything he’d ever said that made him sad, and he wanted to tell Jaehwan how much he would miss him. He wanted to tell Jaehwan— No, _order_ him to come back. He wanted to let Jaehwan know he would be in his mind every step of the way. That he would miss him. That he didn’t want him to go.

He eyed Jaehwan up and down, taking advantage of the fact the mage seemed to be distracted by his own thoughts; he lingered on his legs, of course, since it was the first time Sanghyuk could actually see the shape of them, the trousers Jaehwan was wearing only tight enough to line them. He’d never seen Jaehwan wear anything that wasn’t obnoxiously large mage robes that, no matter how adorable and tiny Jaehwan looked while wearing, hid the shape of his body all too well. Sanghyuk had fantasized about it way too many times, more than he could count, and he wasn’t disappointed. Jaehwan’s body was— Just right. Or maybe it was the rose-tinted windows of love filtering the way he perceived Jaehwan.

The thought just caused Sanghyuk to want him to go even less.

He had to keep positive, though. Their journey barely started, he couldn’t let himself throw the towel - for the sake of his parents’ memory, of all the people who’d lost their lives at the ball, he had to keep pushing forward no matter how much he wanted to crumble.

“It’s been a while we last traveled together,” Sanghyuk started, going for casual, and Jaehwan turned his face to him to give him a quizzical look.

“I don’t think this counts, as it’s not actually a vacation,” Jaehwan said back and Sanghyuk bit down on his tongue. The mage sure didn’t make it easy.

“I— All I meant is that it’s good to see a different scenery for a change,” Sanghyuk tried again. It was midmorning, the sky filled with small clusters of clouds heralding even more cold weather, but it wasn’t exactly bad. It was nice enough a view, at least, in his royal opinion.

“Eh,” Jaehwan said and looked around. “This is not the prettiest place I’ve ever seen. Most of the shrubs are dead because of the coming winter.”

Praying to the Maker for patience, Sanghyuk took a deep breath and said, “It’s still a change. We spent too much time cooped up inside the Castrum. It’s nice to breathe in some fresh air.”

“I don’t know… Smells a little fishy here.”

Sanghyuk sighed, tired. “Nevermind.”

Jaehwan pursed his lips and ducked his head, and soon a lopsided smile appeared on his face. When he spoke, he sounded a bit bashful. “I’m sorry. I think I’m a little nervous about traveling on my own.”

Sanghyuk felt like there was a phantom hand squeezing his heart. “I wish you didn’t have to go.”

Jaehwan was silent for a moment. “Me too. But we need answers, something to point us in the right direction, otherwise we’ll just run in circles.”

Sanghyuk couldn’t argue with that fact. “I know.” He let the silence stretch between for a few seconds, debating internally if he should try to dissuade Jaehwan from leaving or if he should show some support. He chose something in between. “Do you really need to go alone? Can’t I come with you?”

“Sanghyuk—”

“I won’t go into the Circle, I can stay outside and wait,” he quickly added. “I won’t be in the way, I’ll do everything you tell me to do.”

Jaehwan huffed, amused. “Now _that_ would be a first.”

“I mean it,” Sanghyuk insisted. “I don’t feel right about letting you go all the way there alone.”

Jaehwan took a deep breath and held it for a while before exhaling slowly, putting his thoughts into a coherent enough order before saying, “It’s sweet of you to worry for my safety, and I appreciate the offer.” His words came out slowly, carefully, as if the mage was measuring everything that came out of his mouth. “But I need you to consider a few things. First, if only the two of us go, the others will find it suspicious. Second, we don’t know them very well just yet. Taekwoon has the jewel, and even if I trust him, you should keep an eye on him for the sake of keeping track of the jewel’s whereabouts. And third, you’re the future king. You need to stay where it’s safer, and where there are more people who can protect you. I’m expendable. You are not.”

Sanghyuk scowled at the ground. “You’re not expendable.”

“Compared to you, yes, I am.”

“No.”

Jaehwan sighed, looking forward to the rapidly approaching bridge, the landmark of what could turn out to be the stage of their last goodbye. Sanghyuk didn’t want to think about it, didn’t want to consider that possibility, but it was a reality - if things went wrong, Jaehwan might never return from Perendale.

“It’ll be alright,” Jaehwan said, and Sanghyuk raised his head to regard him. “It won’t be pleasant, but it’ll be alright. I’ll be fine.”

“Don’t go,” Sanghyuk blurted out before he could stop himself. Jaehwan seemed startled by the fervent request. “Whatever is in Perendale, if there is anything at all there, we can find out some other way. Don’t go.”

Jaehwan’s expression softened and a sad smile appeared on his lips. “I’m afraid we can’t afford the time it would take to find answers elsewhere. I’m sorry, Hyogi.”

Sanghyuk wanted to crouch down and let himself fall apart upon hearing the nickname, so new and yet already so meaningful to him, but somehow managed to keep his emotions under control. The bridge was getting closer and closer, and he almost gave into the urge of sitting down and refusing to go on, to fight and struggle for as long as could to delay that moment, but he couldn’t; Jaehwan was right. Jaehwan was always right, and they didn’t have enough time to spare on him being a spoiled brat. He had to let it happen. He had to let Jaehwan go.

“There’s really nothing I can do to make you stay, is there?” Sanghyuk asked in a tiny voice that didn’t sound like him.

“No, there isn’t,” Jaehwan confirmed, voice equally subdued. “But I’ll be back soon.”

“You promise?”

Jaehwan chuckled at that. “I promise. The journey to Perendale from here will take around seven or eight days, so if everything goes according to plan I should be back in about two weeks. Maybe earlier if I manage to catch a ride with traveling merchants along the way.”

Sanghyuk breathed slowly, trying to push down all the feelings rising up inside him. “You better find something good while you’re there, this better be worth it.”

Jaehwan huffed through his nose. “I’ll find something, I have a good feeling about it. There’s definitely something there.”

“If there’s nothing, I’m going to give you hell when you come back,” Sanghyuk was careful to say ‘when’ and not ‘if’. Jaehwan would come back. He had to.

“Aw, Hyogi, you almost sound like you’ll miss me,” Jaehwan teased with a cooing voice that made Sanghyuk grimace. Laughing, Jaehwan continued, “But I promise, I’ll find something. And if I don’t, I’ll make sure to buy you something shiny while I’m there.”

Sanghyuk scoffed. “Just come back.”

“I will,” Jaehwan promised, the only remnant of his laughter a soft grin left on his lips. “And while I’m away, behave, alright?” Sanghyuk gave him a look from the corner of his eye - and that only because the other one was bandaged to cover the scales, otherwise he would have used both eyes and Jaehwan would not have survived the potency of his glare. Approaching Sanghyuk a bit more, Jaehwan lowered his voice and continued. “When in doubt, stick with Wonshik for he’s the one most loyal to you and the crown. Keep an eye on Hongbin, don’t be alone with him if you can help it. Hakyeon seems harmless, but don’t get too comfortable around him too. He was a pirate, after all.” He paused, and added in a careful tone. “I know you have your reservations about him, but you can trust Taekwoon. Whatever his motivations, he doesn’t have any interest in your demise or in politics, and that is already more than we can say about the others. He won’t actively try to protect you, not like Wonshik, but he will not do you harm either.”

Sanghyuk narrowed his eyes at the mage, suspicious. “And how do you know that?”

“I just do, trust mem” Jaehwan replied and made a dismissive gesture with his hand. “Taekwoon is the least of your concerns. And he has the jewel, so it might be a good idea to stay on his good graces instead of antagonizing him, lest he decides to leave in the middle of the night for feeling unwelcome.”

“Is that why you’re so nice to him? Fear he’ll leave?” Sanghyuk asked, eyebrows shooting up like he just discovered something, but Jaehwan laughed and shook his head.

“No, I actually really do like him a lot.”

The answer brought a sour taste to Sanghyuk’s mouth and he had to bite down on his tongue not to pout. “Oh.”

“Give him a chance, will you? He’s truly not bad,” Jaehwan said, and Sanghyuk was thankful that the mage had at least not realized that he was jealous - Jaehwan seemed to think he just didn’t like Taekwoon. It suited him just fine. “He looks grumpy, but that’s just what his face looks like, promise.”

“I don’t understand how you two became so close, so fast,” Sanghyuk chided. “You were alone with him for what, two hours? How do you get so close to someone in two hours?”

“We had a lengthy discussion of personal issues over a nice cup of tea,” Jaehwan answered, airy, and Sanghyuk rolled his eyes. He wasn’t taking his concern seriously. “Then we played a guessing game that made us very tired and we took a nap. It’s wonderful how close you can become to someone when you take a power nap next to them. Then we woke up and shared the contents of our dreams with each other. You know something fascinating? We dreamt of the same things! I call that a special bond.”

“Forget I asked.”

Jaehwan chortled. “Sorry, Hyogi. This mystery is not mine to reveal. You will find out when the right time comes, if Taekwoon ever decides he’s ready.”

That gave Sanghyuk pause. From the way Jaehwan spoke, it was not about something Taekwoon had done to him, but rather something Taekwoon _revealed_ to him. Still didn’t explain how they got into the Secret-Revealing-Stage of their very sudden friendship, but a piece of the puzzle was still a piece of the puzzle, no matter how small.

Sanghyuk looked over his shoulder at Taekwoon, finding the elf walking slowly with his eyes closed, shuffling forward automatically. Sanghyuk sighed and turned ahead once again, “Is he even human?”

Jaehwan arched an eyebrow at him. “He is an elf.”

Sanghyuk slowly turned his head to give Jaehwan the most unimpressed stare he could muster with only one eye. “No shit. You know what I meant, is he an actual person?”

“What qualifies someone as a person, really?” Jaehwan mused theatrically. “Even golems are people, if you think about it. Is it having a soul? Sentiency? Feelings? Are _we_ people, and are _we_ in a position to decide what a person is or isn’t?”

“You know, sometimes you make it really hard for me not to punch you in the face.”

Jaehwan snorted at that, the most annoying sound Sanghyuk had ever heard in his life. In a few minutes, he would miss it. Damn it. “Oh, come on, you set yourself up for it.”

“So help me, Maker, I will shove my foot so far up your ass that you’ll be picking out my toenails from your molars from here all the way to Perendale, don’t try me.”

“Whatever happened to ‘bububu, please don’t go, Jyani, I’ll miss you so much’?” Jaehwan asked in a childish voice, and Sanghyuk felt his face grow warm.

“Shut up, I never said that. And that’s not my voice.”

Jaehwan snickered for a while longer before clearing his throat to regain his composure. “Alright, alright, I was just trying to bask in the fact that you don’t hate me anymore.”

Sanghyuk’s entire brain malfunctioned at that. “Hate you?”

Jaehwan’s lips puckered out in a confused little pout and his eyebrows shot up, likely one of the most adorable things Sanghyuk had ever witnessed, but before either of them could say anything— The bridge.

They were there.

“This is it, maleficar,” Hongbin said, stepping forward to stand next to Jaehwan. “Last stop.”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever,” Jaehwan said, dismissing Hongbin’s words with a quick gesture of his hand, and turned to the rest of the group. “You kids behave while I’m away.”

“Be careful out there,” Hakyeon said, and Sanghyuk felt the sincerity behind those words; maybe Hakyeon was not so bad, despite being a former Raider.

“I will be!” Jaehwan grinned at Hakyeon before turning to Wonshik. “I’m entrusting the safety of the crown prince to you.”

Sanghyuk rolled his eyes just as Wonshik replied, “He won’t come to harm under my watch, I swear.”

Jaehwan seemed satisfied with that, and lastly, he turned to Taekwoon. “Daeguni.”

“No.”

“Come on.”

“No.”

Jaehwan opened his arms and motioned with his fingers in an invitation. “You know you want to.”

“I do not.”

“Bring it in.”

“No.”

“Fine, I’ll take it to you, you lazy bum,” Jaehwan declared and shuffled towards Taekwoon, who flinched but, ultimately, didn’t do much to try and escape the veritable bear hug the mage gave him. Taekwoon’s only reaction was to grimace, but he didn’t push him away until Jaehwan himself decided to end the hug. “There, it wasn’t so bad, was it?”

Taekwoon glared at Jaehwan for a second, before whistling at the sky, at one of his ravens. The bird came flying down quickly and perched itself on the arm Taekwoon had stuck out for it. “Take Fear with you. If you run into any danger, it will help you.”

Jaehwan looked surprised at that. “Are you sure? Won’t you need it?”

“I would not offer if I was not sure,” Taekwoon replied in his creepy whispery voice - that wasn’t really creepy, but Sanghyuk’s jealousy wanted to make a point - and almost immediately the raven flew from his arm to sit atop Jaehwan’s shoulder. “It understands everything you say. If you need anything, ask and it will help.”

“Aw, Daeguni, you must really love me,” Jaehwan cooed at the elf. Taekwoon made a face. Sanghyuk looked away.

“Just go already.”

“Fine, fine,” Jaehwan said, sighing in affectation, and turned to Sanghyuk. “And you.”

Sanghyuk wanted to lunge forward and attach himself to Jaehwan’s legs to not let him walk away. Not let him leave. Make him stay.

Instead, he said, “Be careful.”

Jaehwan smiled softly. “Yeah. You too.”

Sanghyuk nodded, keeping his eyes on the ground. “I will.”

“Good. Remember what I told you, ok?”

“Ok.”

“Good. Then… I’ll see you guys in a few days,” Jaehwan said, and the others mumbled their goodbyes and well wishes. Sanghyuk tried to tune them out, tried not to hear the sounds of Jaehwan’s footsteps as he walked away, the sounds of the others starting to turn towards the bridge to make their way across.

Sanghyuk stayed put. His feet didn’t want to move. It couldn’t be like that, he couldn’t let Jaehwan go without saying something more. That could be the last time he saw him, the last chance he had. He couldn’t let him go knowing that the last thing he said to Jaehwan was ‘ok’. No.

Sanghyuk raised his head - Jaehwan was already several steps away, the others already crossing the bridge.

No.

Sanghyuk let his impulse take over, for once, and ran. His footsteps were heavy, the sound of them causing Jaehwan to stop to look behind him, the raven on his shoulder flying away as he did. Sanghyuk only had time to see the surprise on Jaehwan’s face before they collided, his arms naturally finding their way around Jaehwan’s body, looping around his waist under the obnoxiously large traveling pack on his back, to hold him close, tight, his face all but buried in the crook of his neck.

Jaehwan stiffened for a moment, be it out of shock or discomfort - Sanghyuk didn’t know. He didn’t care to know, not while Jaehwan was still there, within his reach. And then Jaehwan was sheepishly wrapping his own arms around Sanghyuk, and Sanghyuk could cry was he not more preoccupied with taking in the feeling of having Jaehwan so close. He felt so warm in his arms, his hair so soft against his cheek. He didn’t want to let go. He never wanted to let him go.

“I never hated you. Idiot,” Sanghyuk whispered after a moment, and Jaehwan reply was a breathy chuckle that raised goosebumps all over his body.

“And you decide to tell me that  _now,_ ” Jaehwan said and laughed, his own arms tightening around Sanghyuk’s body. If only they could stay like that. If only Jaehwan didn’t have to go. “Be good while I’m away, ok?”

“I will if that makes you come back faster,” Sanghyuk knew he sounded like a whiny brat, but, really, he didn’t care. At all.

“It’s not like Perendale will be like a dream vacation for me, so I’ll come back soon either way,” Jaehwan jokingly said, making Sanghyuk chortle. “But yes, you being a well-behaved child will be an extra incentive, since I’ve never actually seen you behaving before and I can’t miss the opportunity of witnessing such a miracle.”

“You’re an ass,” Sanghyuk said and squeezed Jaehwan just a tad bit tighter and inhaled deeply and slowly, breathing in the smell of Jaehwan’s skin, of herbs and flowers and _home_. “Jyani,” Sanghyuk called in a whisper, and he hoped he didn’t imagine the way Jaehwan shuddered when his breath hit him, “please, come back.”

“I will,” he promised. “Remember to mind your temper and to take the tonics if you need it,” Jaehwan gently reminded him, starting to move back, away from him. Sanghyuk reluctantly let him go. “Now off you go, the others are waiting.”

Sanghyuk nodded to agree, but didn’t return right away - he stood there for a while longer, watching as Jaehwan walked further and further away, the raven flying low in the sky as it followed him. Sanghyuk had to make a significant effort not to run after him again instead of returning to his other four companions’ sides, but, somehow, even if his feet felt like they were being weighed down by heavy boulders, he did it.

Hakyeon, Wonshik, and Taekwoon were already crossing the bridge, but Hongbin stayed behind, watching the scene that had unfolded. He wasn’t sure how to interpret his expression, too neutral for him to read, but his eyes were sparkling with interest. Sanghyuk kept his head low, mind set on ignoring the elf, but Hongbin - of course - had to say something as Sanghyuk walked by him.

“You should have kissed him.”

“Shut up, Hongbin.”

“Just sayin’.”

Sanghyuk picked up his pace to catch up with the others, hoping his ears weren’t as red as he felt like they were.

 

✶✶✶

 

One thing Hongbin had learned very early in his life, was that the world was not kind - especially not to elves. It was a lesson he learned when he was still around three or four years old, a lesson he lived through and carried with him into his adulthood.

His earliest memory was of his mother’s distressed face as she hid him inside a tight little crawl space underneath the floorboards of their home, the sounds of things breaking and crashing so loud he barely could hear her voice.

_‘Stay still, stay quiet, and remember we love you very much, my sunshine.’_

He remembered. He loved them very much too.

Love didn’t make a difference in the end, though; his mother and father were taken that night, never to come back again. Taken away by Tevinter slavers who raided the Alienage in the dead of night, cloaked by darkness and the blatant disregard of the guards towards the elven community.

Love didn’t make a difference. The tears he shed - and they were many - also made no difference. Loving his parents would not save them, crying would not turn back time. He was just a child, small, frightened and alone. There was nothing he could do.

He had to learn to survive on his own. He trained his legs and feet to move quickly, trained his fingers to be nimble and light, trained his eyes to spot opportunities. He learned how to steal and how to get away with it. He learned what leftovers were safe to rescue from small restaurants’ waste and which ones would make him sick if he ate them. He learned to fish with string and sticks and with fine little nets, and then how to clean the fish and how to make a fire to cook his spoils. He learned how to stay warm in winter, and where he could pick the best fruit in spring. He learned how to make himself invisible to escape abuse, no matter how the cost of it was having to delegate that pain to some other elf who had no way out.

He learned how to keep himself alive. He hardened himself, his heart and mind, so he would never suffer loss or grief again.

He was doing fine. Great, even. He was surviving and getting by and the other kids at the rundown little orphanage they had in the Alienage didn’t try to pick fights with him because he scared the crap out of them.

And then— Wonshik happened.

It was just another day, uneventful and boring, so much that Hongbin wouldn’t remember it if he tried. It just bled into the other days, into the routine he’d made for himself. Then something happened that changed everything, and from then on the world might as well have turned upside down.

Someone caught him stealing some lady’s coin purse. So, naturally, he ran away and searched for a place to hide, which ended up being a clothing store. He crawled under a clothing rack, a perfect hiding spot for a small, skinny elven child - that is, if someone wasn’t already there. He remembered freezing on the spot once he met the other child’s eyes, both staring at each other at a complete loss and mild panic.

“Who are you?” the child - a human, judging from the round ears, ugh - asked in a small voice, and that broke Hongbin from his trance and he finished crawling under the rack, tucking himself next to the boy before covering his mouth with one hand.

“Shh, they’re after me,” Hongbin whispered urgently, and the kid looked even more confused for a moment, if that was possible. That kid looked dumb, Hongbin distinctively remembered thinking; he was lanky and skinny, his mouth was tiny and his hair had that stupid bowl shape that made Hongbin want to push him inside a mud puddle.

The kid pushed Hongbin’s hand away from his mouth and whispered back, “Stay here.”

Hongbin would later question his decision of letting the kid leave that hiding spot, of trusting him not to rat him out. But he didn’t. The guards that had been chasing Hongbin came into the store, and the kid told them he’d been there the whole time and saw no elf coming in. He kept Hongbin hidden there, where it turned out to be Wonshik’s mother’s store, until it was safe to come out; he even gave Hongbin something to eat after saying he looked ‘too thin’.

Hongbin had learned long ago that humans were all scum, until he found the one exception - an eight-year-old Wonshik. Wonshik was the very first kind human he’d ever encountered, a human who had no hidden motives to treat him well other than being genuinely good. Wonshik was good, through and through. Hongbin wasn’t good, he was aware of that - he was blackened and rotten on the inside, his heart salted land where nothing could grow, and, in the off chance something did sprout, whatever came of it was bound to be cursed.

Like his love for Wonshik. It was cursed.

Wonshik came from a background of love. He had a family who adored him, parents who covered him with affection, a little sister who was sunlight personified. Hongbin didn’t have any of that, and all the chances he had of knowing such familial devotion was robbed of him the night the slavers took his parents.

But he was selfish. He was selfish and used to getting what he wanted, and he wanted Wonshik.

They would see each other every day. Hongbin would find ways to sneak Wonshik into the Alienage and Wonshik would always bring food from home to give to Hongbin. Wonshik made Hongbin smile, something he’d almost forgotten how to do. They would play together in the margins of the Minanter River from morning until sunset, and they would lie down on the rough grass side by side and draw figures in the stars.

He thought living like that would be enough. That just having Wonshik by his side would be enough.

But nothing could change the fact that he was an elven orphan in the Alienage. He was nothing. Less than nothing. He still had to rob others to survive, and he still had to go through garbage to find scraps of food or old blankets to keep himself warm. He still suffered in the hands of humans who didn’t see a person, a child, but a punching bag.

Hongbin was nothing. He almost believed that himself, until he finally decided not to be nothing anymore. He wanted to be— Anything, anything but what he was. He didn’t have a future there, and, really, who was he kidding when he wished upon shooting stars to be with Wonshik forever? Wonshik would find himself someone better, because Wonshik deserved the best - Hongbin was aware that he was the worst. Wonshik would grow up, get married to a nice girl and have a couple of nice kids, and Hongbin would likely die alone in a dark alleyway either from starvation or cold or from being beaten to death by a mob of self-righteous humans.

Hongbin had never left Nevarra City before, and leaving the only life he’d known behind was at the same time thrilling and terrifying, but, in the end, he figured that the world could not be worse than the Alienage.

So he left. He left, leaving Wonshik with one first - and last - kiss to remember him by.

He never forgot Wonshik, however. Every step of the way, he carried Wonshik in his memory. He thought of writing. He thought of writing so many times, but there was always an excuse: the first one, not really an excuse but a fact, was that he was never taught how to read or write. He learned. Then he told himself he just didn’t have the time to write a letter. When he had free time, he would sigh woefully because, that silly head of his, he’d completely forgotten his address!

It was all to cover up one thing: he was scared. He’d been gone too long, gave Wonshik too much time to move on. He didn’t know what he would find if he ever tried to contact him again.

So he didn’t. He just carried on and pretended he was fine. That he didn’t miss Wonshik. Convinced himself Wonshik would be better off without him anyway.

Then one day the opportunity came in the form of that ridiculous job. Hongbin would usually not take jobs such as that - stealing a brooch seemed like a waste of his talents, really - but the location— It gave him pause.

Fact: he hated Nevarra.

Fact: he loved Wonshik.

The scales didn’t tip one side or the other with just that, but they did once the matter of payment came up. It was enough for him to buy a small house in a quiet countryside if he wished. Enough for him to settle down somewhere, start a life, a family. Enough for him to finally go back to the country he hated so much, to get the one person he loved - Wonshik. One last time setting foot in Nevarra only so he could finally, after so many years, have the one thing he’d always wanted.

The hope caused him to forget that he was cursed.

As if anything had ever been easy for him.

Of course Wonshik wouldn’t be waiting for him. Of course he would have moved on, given his heart to someone else. Hongbin hated that girl, the woman Wonshik had been with. He did. He wouldn’t deny it if asked.

But he didn’t want her _dead_.

Sure, he might have fantasized one or a hundred times about pushing her in front of an incoming wagon, but he wouldn’t _actually_ do it. He was bad, but not that bad - and alright, maybe he would have gladly snuck into her house as she slept to cut off generous chunks of her hair in the way of petty retribution, but she would still be alive. Her hair would look hideous, but she would be alive.

It stung seeing Wonshik smiling that stupid smile of his at someone who wasn’t him, but Hongbin would have let Wonshik go if he thought he was happy. He could see, though, from the look in his eyes and the line of his shoulders that Wonshik was many things, and ‘happy’ was not one of them.

He thought Wonshik would be at least a little glad to see him again. Hongbin was expecting at least a smile. Or a hug, but that would be too much to ask, in retrospect. But Wonshik was— He was more hurt than Hongbin thought he would be. In a way, it made Hongbin feel like he was important enough for Wonshik to have bothered being upset about him leaving, but it also made him feel like, well— garbage.

He apologized. He admitted he was wrong for not contacting him. He was honest about it, and he didn’t kill Wonshik’s little girlfriend or whoever she was. Why couldn’t that be enough?

Maybe he should have listened to Hakyeon, left when they had the chance, given up that stupid jewel and everything that came with it, but— If there was a chance, even a slim one, to reach that seemingly impossible dream, Hongbin wanted to take it.

Besides, it’s not like he could turn back, even if he wanted to. There was too much at stake, now.

And he would be damned - more than he already was - if he left Wonshik behind a second time. No. Never again.

They reached Hunter Fell a little past noon, and blending into the crowd was easy enough; they weren’t the only travelers there, as Hunter Fell was a city that saw many wanderers every day who would stop to replenish their supplies and rest before continuing on their journeys. There were plenty of merchants as well, commerce there always good thanks to those same travelers, and thus, it was easy for their party of now only five to enter the town without raising any alarms.

Hongbin took the lead from there, keeping to the main streets only until the crowds began to thin out as they went deeper into the city, and from there Hongbin took them down dark, forgotten little side streets. He noticed the suspicious looks both Wonshik and the prince kept giving him, but nobody spoke out as they followed his lead, which was good - he was tired and not in the mood to defend himself. Again.

They walked for about fifteen minutes more until finally reaching their destination. Hongbin had to bite the insides of his cheeks not to laugh the horrified expressions in Wonshik and Sanghyuk’s faces.

Hakyeon squinted up at the worn sign for a second and, with a sigh, read out loud, “‘ _The Laughing Harpy_ ’. Really, Bin?”

“I could take you to ‘ _The Singing Clam’_ , but I don’t think that’s your crowd,” Hongbin deadpanned and began walking towards the tavern’s entrance. As nobody followed, he turned to the rest of the group. “What?”

“Do you have a reason to take us into this—” Wonshik looked around before finishing, “very respectable establishment?”

“No, I just got a little thirsty for cheap ale, _of course I have a reason,_ ” Hongbin snapped. “It’s where we’re meeting my contact, so if you want to wait outside, by all means, but we would do well to stop wasting time. Or do you want the cultists to catch up to us? Because in that case, I can wait.”

“Binnie,” Hakyeon said, sighing, and shook his head. “We’re all tired, let’s not get into another fight, yes?”

“Tell that to Guardsman Self-Righteous, he started it,” Hongbin declared, then turned around again and entered the tavern, deciding to get moving on his own - if the others wanted to hang out outside in the cold, that was their problem.

Hongbin sighed happily once the warm air enveloped him, the smell of spices and cinnamon invading his nostrils as he breathed in. The inside of the tavern was much more inviting than the outside - something the other four idiots would have known if they just trusted him, but hey, that’s their loss - with a roaring fireplace at the far side and several round wooden tables haphazardly distributed around the room. There weren’t many people there at the time, likely for being the middle of the afternoon and not exactly peak time for drinking; Hongbin wasn’t sure if that was good or bad for their situation. It would depend on how long his contact took to show up, he figured.

The others still had not come in when Hongbin moved to the barkeep, hitting the old wood of the counter a couple times with the tip of his middle finger to get the man’s attention. The barkeep was a rather large man, with a thick mustache and plump cheeks Hongbin could only describe as “jolly”.

“Yeah, what can I get you, lad?” the man asked, and Hongbin plastered on his nicest smile.

“Can I get five orders of beef stew and five mugs mulled wine, please?”

“Five?” the man echoed, his laughter loud and boisterous. Hongbin sort of liked that guy. “That’s a lotta food for just one person.”

“It’s not all for me, my companions are just outside,” Hongbin informed, still smiling. “And also,” he added in a lower, “please, let the mutt know his parcel has arrived.”

The man gave him a knowing look and nodded, pointing at a table near the fireplace. “Sure thing, lad. You go make yourself comfortable, I’ll get you what you need.”

“Thank you so much,” Hongbin said and beamed at the man at the same time the door of the tavern opened again, and through came shuffling in a tired-looking Hakyeon, a disinterested Taekwoon, a suspicious Wonshik, and a fascinated Sanghyuk. Hongbin would laugh if he wasn’t still a bit bitter with the constant distrust thrown his way.

Hongbin raised a hand to catch their attention and, once that was accomplished, motioned with his head towards the table at the back, making his way over without checking if they were following. If they weren’t, well, their problem - Hongbin would gladly sit there and warm up by the fire on his own.

It seemed his companions weren’t a complete lost cause, for they hesitantly followed him, each of them taking a seat around the table and all of them almost melting with glee for being able to sit down on an actual chair after almost three days on the road.

“Now I get why the harpy is laughing,” Hakyeon joked, getting a chuckle out of Taekwoon and Hongbin. Wonshik and Sanghyuk didn’t seem to be paying attention - Wonshik was still looking around with an eyebrow raised suspiciously, while Sanghyuk was staring at the table top, eyes glazed over and expression blank. Hongbin knew why, and maybe that was the only reason he didn’t try to poke fun at the kid.

He understood - broken hearts can’t be pieced back together in a couple of hours. Or even a couple of decades.

Their order of food came in less than ten minutes, and the sight of actual food that was not dried up rations and salted meat worked to cheer them all up a little. Hongbin looked around, taking note of how there was no trace of suspicion left in their faces as they ate and couldn’t help a little comment.

“I guess I should have told you their stew is really good from the get-go, it would have saved us some time.”

“Make that your opening line next time,” Hakyeon agreed, one cheek puffing out since he stuffed all his food in there so he could speak.

“So where’s your contact?” Wonshik asked, glaring at him through his lashes as he ate.

Hongbin gave Wonshik a shrug as he sipped on his mulled wine. “He’s on his way.”

“Uh huh,” Wonshik hummed and narrowed his eyes. “How do you know this isn’t a trick?”

For all that Wonshik’s blatant distrust hurt, Hongbin still managed to feel more exasperated than upset. “Right. I’ve brought you here to pay for your last meal, because I’m just that nice of a murderer. Do you even hear yourself?”

Wonshik didn’t reply, but had at least the decency to blush. Hakyeon sighed next to Hongbin and shook his head, and Hongbin was thankful that his friend also didn’t make any comments. Sanghyuk was mindlessly poking at the food at the bottom of his bowl, while Taekwoon seemed much more interested in shoving his face with stew, sparing no attention to anything other than his meal.

Little mercies.

By the time his informant finally arrived, they were all done with their meals and nursing their second round of wine. Even covered head to toes by a black traveling hood, Hongbin recognized him right away and grinned up at him, standing from his seat to meet him halfway.

“There you are, I was beginning to think you were ignoring me,” Hongbin greeted, getting a chuckle in response.

“Like it’s possible for anyone to ignore you,” he said and immediately pulled Hongbin into a tight hug, which Hongbin gladly returned. “It’s good to see you, Bin.”

“You too, Channie.”

“Channie?” Hakyeon echoed, perking up at the sound of the name. “Binnie, why didn’t you tell me your contact was Chansik!?”

Hongbin carefully let go of his friend to turn around and face Hakyeon, a side smile playing on his lips. “And ruin the surprise?”

“Hakyeon, I didn’t know you’d be here!” Chansik exclaimed and smiled brightly at Hakyeon as he removed his hood, finally revealing his face to the others. He still looked as handsome as always, Hongbin thought, with his wavy black hair and dark brown eyes, his elven ears just slightly longer than Hongbin’s.

“You know each other?” Wonshik asked Hakyeon, who had gotten up from his seat to give Chansik a hug as well.

“We’ve been on a caper together a few years back,” Hakyeon informed, turning back around to regard the others while keeping an arm around Chansik’s shoulders.

“I think we ran across the entire city of Jader chasing this one guy—” Chansik started and Hongbin finished, snapping his fingers at the memory.

“With the extra big toe! He was married to that former prostitute, right?”

“Yeah, the lady with the lazy eye!” Hakyeon exclaimed, laughing to himself.

Glancing at the table, Hongbin laughed even harder at the exact same expressions of confusion being sported by Wonshik, Taekwoon, and Sanghyuk. Hakyeon was the first one to get himself under control.

“Ah, sorry,” Hakyeon said, motioning for Chansik to take a place at the table with them while Hongbin gestured at the barkeep to bring them another round of wine. “This is Chansik. Chansik, these are Wonshik, Sanghyuk, and Taekwoon.”

“Nice to meet you all,” Chansik politely said, just as Hongbin sat back down.

“I can’t believe it’s really you, it’s been ages,” Hakyeon said, obviously excited. “How have you been?”

“Oh, you know, trying to stay out of trouble for a change,” Chansik replied with a side grin. “What about you? Are you still with Wongeun?”

Hakyeon blushed at that and squared his shoulders. “Definitely not. We ended things a little after Jader.”

Chansik grimaced. “Bad break up?”

“You can say that,” Hakyeon said with a sniff. “He wanted to keep raiding, I wanted to stop, he made me choose, so I chose.”

“Ouch.”

“Water under the bridge,” Hakyeon said, making a dismissive gesture with his hand.

“Damned be the dumbass who stands between Yeonnie and his dancing,” Hongbin wisely added, thanking the barkeep who came over with their drinks under his breath.

“Speaking of dancing,” Chansik started, taking a sip of his mulled wine to buy time as the barkeep walked away, “I’m assuming you don’t need my help to find you new dancing shoes. What’s up?”

“All business, always all business,” Hongbin sighed the words. “But yes, we might have run into— A small problem.”

Wonshik scoffed. “Small.”

Hongbin ignored that. “This is probably not the best place to get into details.” Hongbin lowered his voice. “Have you heard of the massacre at Castrum Draconis?”

Chansik raised an eyebrow at him. “Who hasn’t? It’s all people have been talking about for the past few days.”

“News does travel fast,” Sanghyuk commented bitterly, staring at his drink.

“What have people been saying?” Wonshik asked, suddenly more interested in the conversation.

“Just that some mercenaries invaded the Autumn Ball and killed everyone,” Chansik said, simple, and took another sip of wine. “Killed the king and queen, and the prince is missing. Some people are saying he’s dead too, other people say they took him for ransom.”

“They don’t know where the prince is?” Hongbin asked idly. “He’s probably dead too, in my opinion.”

Hongbin shot a pointed look at Wonshik, who seemed to get the message - Sanghyuk’s identity had to stay a secret.

“Maybe. Who knows,” Chansik commented and shrugged. “Everything I hear about it is a mess. Were you there when it happened?”

“You’re looking at the sole survivors,” Hongbin revealed and gestured around the table, then pointed to Sanghyuk with a thumb. “That one lost an eye. Poor thing’s still in shock. And that one got so traumatized he can’t even speak anymore.”

Chansik frowned when he looked at Taekwoon. “Isn’t he Dalish? Why was a Dalish at the ball?”

“ _Former_ Dalish,” Hakyeon corrected, patting Taekwoon’s shoulder in a friendly gesture. Hongbin had to remember to congratulate his friend later for his quick thinking. “He wanted a taste of civilization, ended up a servant. Not the most glamourous exchange, I’m afraid.”

“Thing is, Channie,” Hongbin took the reigns of the conversation again, “the mercenaries weren’t exactly the ones responsible for the massacre. We think they were hired by another group. And, well— They may or may not be after us.”

Chansik huffed a small laugh. “Of course they are. You always did have a knack to attract trouble.”

“Must be his winning personality,” Wonshik said, acidic. Hongbin made a point to ignore him.

“I think they just want to finish the job. You know, dead men can’t talk and all that.”

“Mm, you’re probably right,” Chansik said, agreeing with a nod. “What do you know about them?”

“All we know is that they seem to be part of a cult called ‘Somnavaris’,” Hongbin quickly said before any of the others decided to open their big mouths and reveal too much. Chansik was good at what he did, and that was one of the reasons Hongbin wanted to give him as little information as possible - he wanted to see what Chansik could dig up on his own, without the assumptions they had made so far.

That, and also to keep Chansik safe. Chansik couldn’t know about the jewel. Not yet, anyway.

“Hm. I’ll see what I can dig up on them,” Chansik said and smiled. “From the name, I take it they are Tevinter?”

“It appears to be the case, yes,” Hongbin agreed with a nod.

“I see,” Chansik murmured and frowned for a moment, before smiling softly. “It might take me a couple of days, but I’ll find something for you guys to work with. You can stay at my place in the meantime, but I must warn you that it’s very small and it might be a little crowded, since I live with my partner.”

“Partner? You and Sunwoo finally get hitched?” Hakyeon asked, eyes wide and sparkling. Chansik chuckled, delighted, and nodded.

“Yeah, it took a while but he finally saw reason and stopped lying to himself.”

“That’s great!”

“Yeah, it is,” Hongbin agreed and gave Chansik one of his genuine smiles, which was something very rare to happen lately. “And don’t worry about the space, we can all sleep squished together like little hamsters.” He turned to Wonshik and grinned innocently. “Right, Shik?”

Wonshik’s cheeks became a shade pinker and he looked away without answering.

“Great, it’s settled then!” Chansik said. “And I think I know someone who could help you, if you feel like traveling a little bit.”

Hongbin immediately sobered up from the previous teasing. “What have you got?”

“You said this cult is from Tevinter,” Chansik started, leaning in to continue in a low voice, barely audible. “There’s a maleficar living in the woods south of here, about two days away. He’s from Tevinter. Rumor has it he had to escape the magisters because he knew too many of their secrets.”

Hongbin hummed as he considered. The story seemed a little far-fetched, but it was a start - he didn’t really think that maleficar was running away from magisters, but he did believe he could know something useful. Looking around the table at his companions, Hongbin found that they all seemed at least a little intrigued by that information.

“Yeah… I think we should pay this maleficar a visit.”

 

✶

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hah, didn't see bin's pov coming, did ya? who was surprised raise your hands 
> 
> this was a little shorter than the last few chapters, but i hope you enjoyed it!  
> as always, if you have any comments, suggestions, questions, if you want to scream at me for making bin suffer ~~or if you have any ideas for fillers because i'm struggling~~ you can leave a comment here, or @ me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/ghostlike91), or you can drop by on my [tumblr](https://ghostlike91.tumblr.com/) if you prefer to do it all anonymously.♡
> 
> thank you for all the hits, kudos and the kind messages i've received so far, it means the world to me! ♡♡♡  
> until the next update! ♡


	7. Curious Little Thing.

✶

 

It was something he should have done sooner, Wonshik sadly knew, but that, at least, was truly beyond his control.

Ever since that night, the night of the massacre, he’d not had the opportunity to set foot inside a chantry, to light a candle and say a prayer for Jimin. He’d done so in thoughts, but it didn’t seem like enough. Nothing was enough.

“Though all before me is shadow, yet shall the Maker be my guide.” Wonshik recited under his breath, knelt down before the altar of Hunter Fell’s chantry, eyes closed. There had been a service earlier, and the building had been full to the brim, but now he was alone there, everyone else having left to return to their own homes, with their families.

There was such peace in an empty chantry; he’d always thought so. It was the sort of peace he needed, desperately, after all the events of the past few days. Praying had also always been a source of comfort to him in troubled times; he was overdue.

“I shall not be left to wander the drifting roads of the Beyond, for there is no darkness in the Maker's Light and nothing that He has wrought shall be lost.” He continued, even if he felt the exact opposite of the words he spoke.

He felt lost and he felt alone. He’d lived his life so far under a controlled structure, and that structure was suddenly thrown into complete chaos and all he was doing was following the motions, mindlessly going along with whatever was happening around him. He didn’t have the time to— To _process_. To actually think things through, instead of going with his instinct and trying to do what was right.

Protecting the prince, that was right. Avenging the death of Jimin, of the court, the king’s and the queen’s. Finding out _why_. It was right. That was the right thing to do.

But he didn’t know what to think about it all. How to feel. He hadn’t quite found the clarity in the midst of chaos just yet, and it didn’t help that Hongbin— Hongbin. He didn’t want to make it about Hongbin. He didn’t want to make Hongbin a factor, not like he had been doing for basically all his life. This shouldn’t be about Hongbin, it shouldn’t be about— Himself. His own hurt, his own resentment. It shouldn’t be about them, because it wasn’t about them.

Hongbin had been right. He hated to admit it, but it was true - Hongbin was right. Whether or not Hongbin had returned, the massacre would still have happened all the same. People would still have died, and, yes, maybe even Jimin. Maybe even himself.

Who was he kidding, really? Were Hongbin not there to provide him with a distraction, Wonshik would have rushed right into the ballroom, no matter if Jimin was there to stop him or not - he would not have listened to her, because, despite the immense fondness he felt towards her, she wasn’t Hongbin, didn’t have the same power Hongbin held over him. He wouldn’t have chosen her over the life of the entire court, not like— Not like he’d chosen Hongbin. Not like he would continue to choose Hongbin, despite his better judgement.

And he was angry, yes, not at Hongbin, but at himself - one more thing Hongbin had been right about.

Hongbin didn’t kill Jimin and he didn’t kill the king or the queen. He said he didn’t know about the coup, and Wonshik, albeit reluctantly, believed him. What could he hold against Hongbin other than the fact that he made the conscientious choice of leaving and never sending word? Not even that, because Hongbin never promised to either come back or keep in touch - whatever expectations he had, Wonshik had built up on his own.

Wonshik had nobody to blame for his broken heart but himself.

“I am not alone.” He prayed on, hands clasped together tight. Now that clarity was finally found, he wished he could have stayed in darkness instead. “Even as I stumble on the path with my eyes closed, yet I see the Light is here.”

The cultists had to be stopped. That was fact. Whatever it was they had planned, it couldn’t be anything good - cults rarely had pure intentions, and this one seemed to be especially heinous judging from their actions so far. Whatever they wanted to find, be it an Old God or something else, could not be good. If he could help in some way, he wanted to do so - prince or no prince. Hongbin or no Hongbin.

It was terrifying, of course it was, he could not deny it to himself. He was scared. Everything felt so— Big. So important. So much larger than himself and the life he’d led so far. A week ago, when he still resided in the city guard barracks, lying on his uncomfortable bunk staring at the ceiling, he wished for a more meaningful duty. A more exciting life. Being a knight, protecting the king and their land, helping people. He’d seen injustice, had to face it everyday, and he could not do much as he was. Patrolling was not enough, never had been.

Then suddenly— He had it. He was protecting the future king. He was on a quest to, presumably, protect the land from an unseen threat. He was— He was helping. Scary as it was, he wanted this. Wanted to see this through.

“Draw your last—” Wonshik began the next verse of his prayer, but stopped once he heard the soft sound of footsteps, bootheels clicking against the stone floor.

For some reason, the surge of anger he usually felt when in his presence was nowhere to be found, this time. Clarity, he thought. It was all about clarity. Perspective.

“There you are.” Hongbin said when he was close enough, and Wonshik turned his head just enough that he could see the elf approach him. “I looked all over for you.”

Wonshik chuckled, this time not derisive but resigned. “No, you didn’t. You knew I was here.”

That seemed to give Hongbin pause, as he didn’t immediately reply. Instead, he came even closer, standing next to Wonshik before the altar, the dozens of lit red candles making the shadows dance on his skin, the flames shimmer in his eyes. Stunning. Hongbin had always been beautiful, ever since they were young, but Wonshik could never have prepared to how gorgeous an adult Hongbin would be - he never thought he had to.

“You got me.” Hongbin finally said, bland. “But I figured I should give you a moment.”

Wonshik didn’t answer. Didn’t thank him, despite feeling like he should. He wasn’t angry with Hongbin - hurt, resentful, cagey and unsure, yes, he was feeling all those things. But not angry. The anger Wonshik was feeling was towards himself. He didn’t trust Hongbin’s intentions just yet, how could he - he’d been away for over a decade only to return acting like someone else. Hongbin had been headstrong as child, had always been awkward with his affections, yes, but his reactions, his smiles and his laughter, all of those used to be genuine. Now— Now he couldn’t be sure what was real and what was an act.

And then there was something else, something bubbling inside him just under the surface, something that tickled and made him feel fuzzy. Happiness. He was happy that Hongbin was back. He hated to admit it, but he was - he’d been dreaming of having Hongbin back ever since he was twelve, and now Hongbin was there, back, wanting them to be close again. Of course he was happy.

But one doesn’t get over a decade of pain in a only a few days.

Wonshik had changed and Hongbin had changed. If they were to move on, move forward, be it as friends or enemies, then Wonshik would need to get to know the new Hongbin. Let the new Hongbin get to know him.

He wasn’t sure how to feel about that just yet. It seemed like a dangerous path to be walking on.

After a brief stretch of silence, Hongbin moved again next to Wonshik and, Wonshik was surprised to see, reached around the altar to take hold of the taper and quietly use it to light up one of the few unlit candles. Wonshik frowned slightly, both in suspicion and curiosity.

“I thought you didn’t believe in ‘such things as gods’?”

Hongbin shot him a side smile and shrugged, before kneeling next to Wonshik at a safe enough distance. “I don’t.” He tossed the taper back to its original spot after blowing out the fire at its end. “But you do, and I assume your friend did as well.” He paused, wetting his lips with the tip of his tongue. “Sometimes, it’s the thought that counts.”

Wonshik blinked, turning forward to the altar. He was stunned at the gesture, kindness he had not been expecting coming from Hongbin. It could be a trick, for all he knew. Hongbin could be trying to play him for a fool and have him believe he wasn’t the stone hearted fiend he appeared to be.

At that moment, however, he couldn’t feel anything other than gratitude. “Thank you.”

Hongbin hummed, and from the corner of his eyes, Wonshik saw that the elf had clasped his hands together, like himself, in a position of prayer. “Don’t mention it.” He said, then sighed, as if dismissing the conversation up until that point. “So, where were you— Ah.” Hongbin cleared his throat, and continued reciting the verses from where Wonshik had stopped, “Draw your last breath, my friends. Cross the Veil and the Fade and all the stars in the sky. Rest at the Maker's right hand—”

Wonshik turned his face slightly towards Hongbin and, in a soft voice, finished the prayer.

“And be Forgiven.”

 

✶✶✶

 

Hakyeon always thought of himself as the ‘big brother’ type. Maybe it was the way he was raised, maybe it was just his personality, but ever since he was very young he’d always been the one to watch over his friends and the younger kids with whom he used to play with, make sure they didn’t get hurt and comfort them if they did. It was just what came naturally to him.

And with that, Hakyeon was also equipped with the uncanny ability of sensing when someone around him was in distress. Like a sixth sense, of sorts.

He’d noticed a while back, of course, but, admittedly, he’d been a bit preoccupied with Taekwoon and his antics to pay attention to anything else. Plus, Jaehwan had still been around.

Sanghyuk wasn’t well. Of course he wasn’t, how could he be - a child should never have to witness the death of their parents, especially a death so cruel and senseless like that. Hakyeon was of a mind that Sanghyuk was able to keep it somehow together so far because Jaehwan had been there; he didn’t know them enough just yet to be sure of their usual dynamics, but Hakyeon could tell just by looking at Sanghyuk that he held Jaehwan in a special place in his heart. Now that the mage had gone ahead to Perendale, Sanghyuk’s last support system was gone with him.

Dinner was ready and the table set by the time Hongbin returned with Wonshik in tow, and Hakyeon decided not to ask what took him so long - something about Wonshik seemed— Less tense than before. Not completely relaxed just yet, but calmer in a way that told Hakyeon his friend and the guard hadn’t gotten themselves into a slapfight. It was a start.

Taekwoon, Hakyeon was finding out, seemed to be very single-minded when it came to food - the elf stared wide eyed at the tray with roasted pork Chansik and Hakyeon himself had prepared for dinner, following its every sway as Chansik’s partner, Sunwoo, set it on the center of the table. Taekwoon began to reach for it, but Hakyeon softly slapped his hand away. The elf gave him what only could be described as ‘puppy eyes’, but Hakyeon would not be swayed by Taekwoon’s puppy eyes, no matter how cute. He made the elf wait for everyone to be seated, ignoring the sizable pout Taekwoon displayed all through those brief five minutes.

Dinner was a noisy affair, as it turned out - both Chansik and Sunwoo were very lively hosts, and Hongbin and Hakyeon joined in on the talking, sharing tales of their so-called adventures and laughing, and even Wonshik, so far mostly stoic, eventually began to laugh along and share some of his own stories from his time as a guardsman. Taekwoon only listened and laughed - whenever he wasn’t too busy stuffing his face - dark eyes sparkling with interest, curious like a child. Adorable.

But Sanghyuk seemed to have his mind somewhere far away throughout their meal, barely touching his food and only speaking when spoken to. Seeing that the young prince was in need of some quiet time, Hakyeon took it upon himself to suggest, loudly and very publicly, that he went ahead upstairs while they cleaned up, because he looked very tired. Sanghyuk simply nodded and shot Hakyeon a grateful little smile before doing as suggested and retiring to the guest bedroom Chansik had so kindly prepared for them.

Hongbin gave him a look from the corner of his eyes that was both curious and judgemental - probably because Sanghyuk got off the hook about doing the dishes - but said nothing in protest and continued his task of clearing out the table. Not that it would have made a difference if Hongbin had said anything, in the end.

Of course, Hakyeon had a plan. Hakyeon often had a plan, as he liked to think of himself as a very pragmatic, organized person, and he firmly believed everyone would have a much easier time if they just listened to him for once, but alas.

Still. A plan. He had one.

Sanghyuk needed some alone time, that was fact and Hakyeon fully intended on giving him a moment to gather himself in private. So he took his time cleaning up, and then having tea with the others in the living room. When he felt enough time had passed, Hakyeon excused himself saying he would check on Sanghyuk and took with him an apple tart from the tray Chansik had placed on the table - Taekwoon tried reaching for it, but Hakyeon slapped his hand away and gently reminded the elf that he’d already had about five of those.

Taekwoon pouted but also didn’t try to stop him, going back to his previous position of half hiding behind Wonshik on the couch. Hakyeon figured that their few times keeping watch together had brought them at least a little closer. Or maybe Taekwoon felt safer with Wonshik since the guardsman hadn’t actively threatened him with bodily harm, unlike Hongbin.

Hakyeon made his way upstairs, trying to look as natural as possible as he knocked on the slightly ajar door; door open or not, he didn’t want to interrupt Sanghyuk if he was having himself a good cry.

As no reply came, Hakyeon pushed the door open the rest of the way and peered inside, finding the room empty. He frowned, standing at the doorway holding the little plate with the apple tart and looking around dumbfounded. He came very so close to panicking, but relaxed upon noticing that the window was wide open and he could see Sanghyuk’s shadow reflecting on the walls of the room from the lamp posts outside.

Hakyeon followed Sanghyuk’s presumed footsteps and stepped over the ledge of the window, which led directly to the rooftop where, as he figured, Sanghyuk was sitting. The prince had his knees drawn up to his chest and his arms hugging his legs, the position so childlike Hakyeon felt like picking him up and rocking him to sleep like a newborn.

“Hey.” Hakyeon called, casual, and Sanghyuk raised his head to regard him. He had taken off the bandages that covered his scales, but his eyes seemed— Well, normal. Normal brown, not puffy or reddened, no traces of tears anywhere. “You didn’t have dessert, so I brought you some.”

“Ah.” Sanghyuk didn’t seem that interested in the tart, but took the plate easily once Hakyeon offered it to him. “Thanks.”

“It was no trouble.” Hakyeon smiled at the prince, smile that turned gentle after a few seconds. “How are you feeling?”

Sanghyuk’s response was a lifeless little shrug as he set the plate down next to him on the rooftiles. Hakyeon was sort of expecting that already, so instead of feeling discouraged, he stepped closer and sat down next to the prince.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

Sanghyuk turned to look at Hakyeon as if he’d gone mad. “Uh… I barely know you.”

“So?” Hakyeon questioned. “Sometimes it’s easier to talk about things that hurt with strangers. Besides… Nobody should be left to deal with their grief alone.”

That gave Sanghyuk pause, for his eyebrows hitched just the slightest as he assessed Hakyeon suspiciously for a moment, soon sighing and letting his shoulders drop. “I guess you’re right.”

“I usually am.” Hakyeon smiled smugly, spine straight with pride. Sanghyuk chuckled through his nose. “Now, tell me, what’s going on in your mind?”

“What isn’t?” Sanghyuk threw back, messing up his own hair with one hand to express his frustration. “Everything went to shit overnight, I don’t think I’ve even began to fully comprehend what’s happening.”

Hakyeon could only sigh and agree with a brief nod of his head. “Yeah… I think that can be applied to all of us, to some extent. All of this— Cults, Old Gods, blood magic, all the senseless death… I don’t think anyone can see all that coming at the same time. Nobody is equipped to deal with a situation like this, to take everything in stride and be fine with it.” Hakyeon paused to breathe before adding in a more careful tone. “And you are the one who suffered the most loss. I don’t think I’ve had the chance to say this before, but I’m so sorry about your parents. About the castle, your friends… Everything. I won’t pretend to know what you’re feeling, but I do know that you must be hurting.”

Sanghyuk lowered his head again, scowling at his own feet. “I am. But— It’s more complicated than that.”

“It often is.” Hakyeon gave Sanghyuk a sympathetic smile. “Do you want to talk about them? Your parents.”

Sanghyuk turned his head to shoot Hakyeon a quizzical look. “What could I tell you about them? Father was a fair king, who ruled his country well, and my mother was a kind, caring queen to the people.”

“I didn’t mean as the monarchs of Nevarra. I meant as your parents.”

Hakyeon’s correction certainly took Sanghyuk by surprise, for the crown prince widened his eyes in shock. “As— Excuse me?”

The confusion on the young royal’s face brought a pang of sadness to Hakyeon’s heart. “How were they as your parents?”

Sanghyuk didn’t reply right away, and Hakyeon allowed him to take his time, to do that at his own pace. And if he chose not to answer at all, Hakyeon would be fine with that as well; the only goal of his plan was to get Sanghyuk to feel better, even if only a little.

“Father was a private man. Stoic.” Sanghyuk began, his voice firmer than Hakyeon expected. “He was the type of man that could command an entire room with only the tone of his voice. I always knew I was in trouble when his voice became lower, like a warning, and I would stop whatever I was doing and go stand before him with my head down to be scolded.” Sanghyuk’s lips twitched with the recollection of that memory. Hakyeon couldn’t tell if he wanted to smile or grimace. “And mother, she… She was always a perfectionist. Everything had to be just right, the perfect clothes, the perfect decoration, the perfect power move. She made sure Castrum Draconis was always spotless, if she found anything out of place she would gather the servants and reprimand them.” Sanghyuk chuckled at that. “The servants absolutely dreaded her. I can’t blame them for it, she truly was a difficult woman to handle.”

Hakyeon said nothing, waiting patiently for Sanghyuk to continue; the prince looked like he still had things he wished to let out.

“But my mother… She wasn’t always so strict with me.” Sanghyuk finally, eyes lost somewhere on the rooftiles. “I remember her being kinder. I remember— She would read to me when I was little. We would sit in the parlour in the afternoon and she would put me on her lap and read to me.” He paused, Adam’s apple moving as he swallowed down the urge to cry. Hakyeon suddenly felt like crying himself, but held it in - Sanghyuk needed to be comforted, not to comfort him instead. “Father was never the warmest man, but— He cared about me. I know he did. Sometimes he would come watch me training with my sword and he would nod and smile. I knew he was proud of me, even if he never said it.”

Sanghyuk sniffed, rubbing his arm over his eyes to dry away the errant tears with his sleeve. Hakyeon quietly placed a hand on the young prince’s back, just a point of contact to tell him he wasn’t alone.

“It’s not fair, I— I wanted to find a way to fix things and tell them I loved them, I wanted to apologize for being a brat and complaining so much, and now they’re gone and— Fuck.” Sanghyuk’s voice cracked, his tears now all but pouring out his eyes, little hiccups escaping his throat. “I feel like I’ve failed them, I’ve failed them and they were disappointed in me and I’ll never have the chance to make them proud, I— I—”

“Shh, it’s okay.” Hakyeon wrapped one arm around Sanghyuk’s shoulders and gently pulled him into a tight hug, rubbing his back in a way he hoped was soothing. “I know it hurts, it’s alright. Let it out.”

And so Sanghyuk did.

Sanghyuk cried long and hard, sobbing into Hakyeon’s shoulder. The two layers of clothing Hakyeon was wearing soon became wet, the prince’s tears warm as they reached his skin after soaking through Hakyeon’s shirts. Hakyeon just held him, one hand stroking Sanghyuk’s back and the other running through his hair, something his mother always did for him whenever he was upset.

Hakyeon blinked away his own tears as he thought of his mother. He didn’t have many memories of his father, who’d died before Hakyeon could remember much of him, but his mother— Just thinking about losing her, much more in the gruesome, heartless way Sanghyuk had lost his own mother, it gave Hakyeon such a feeling of dread he was surprised he could still breathe through it. He had no idea how Sanghyuk had stayed strong for so long, how he’d managed to smile and joke and _function_ since the massacre.

Hakyeon didn’t know if he would be as strong in the prince’s place.

Perhaps it was the different ways they were raised, the different sort of relationship they had with their respective parents. Hakyeon had always been very close to his family, and his mother had always been a loving, caring woman. From what Sanghyuk had told him, the queen was never as warm, the king never as doting. It sounded like a complicated relationship, and maybe it was the duality of the feelings Sanghyuk harbored towards his parents the reason why he’d managed not to break earlier.

But he was breaking now. And he would likely break again before that whole ordeal was over.

Hakyeon wanted to help, no matter if he could do nothing except let the young prince cry on his shoulder.

Sanghyuk’s sobs gradually began to lessen, slowly happening in longer intervals until he was only crying quietly, tears silently streaming down his face. Hakyeon continued to hold him, seeing that the contact was helping to steady the prince.

“I don’t know what I’ll do if Jaehwan doesn’t come back.” Sanghyuk shakily said once he regained some of his composure. “He’s— We wasted so much time fighting and bickering, we just started to get along.” The prince revealed. Hakyeon wondered if Sanghyuk was even aware of what he was saying, if he wasn’t just letting everything he wanted to say pour out of his mouth.

“He thought I hated him, I— I never hated him, how could anyone hate him?” Sanghyuk took a deep breath, wiping at his cheek with the back of his hand. “Was I really that awful to him for him to think I hated him? I never meant to be.” Sanghyuk confessed, and he sounded like a lost child, small and fearful. Hakyeon tightened his hold on him. “I never meant to hurt him, I— How can I make amends for it? What if he never comes back and I don’t have a chance to make amends? L-like with my parents, I didn’t have a chance to say goodbye, and Jaehwan— He’s _alone_ there—”

“Hey, Jaehwan is crafty.” Hakyeon said, trying to sound light-hearted for all that Sanghyuk’s sadness had affected him. “I’m sure he wouldn’t have gone on his own if he didn’t know what he was doing. Besides,” Hakyeon paused, smiling at the prince even if he couldn’t see it from that angle, “from what I’ve seen, Jaehwan would walk through fire for you. No matter what, he’ll come back.”

Sanghyuk took a deep steadying breath and said in a wisp of a whisper, “I miss him.”

“I know.” Hakyeon continued to rub Sanghyuk’s back in slow motions. “I’m sure he misses you too.”

At that, Sanghyuk scoffed. “More likely he’s throwing himself a party for having a break from me.”

“I haven’t known you two for long to talk, but I think Jaehwan is attached to you just as much as you are to him.”

Sanghyuk snorted. “Doubtful.”

“Well, I guess you’ll have to ask him this yourself once he comes back, because he _will_. I’m certain of it.” Hakyeon said, firm and sure, and Sanghyuk pulled back from the hug so he could wipe off the tear stains from his face using his shirtsleeves. Hakyeon easily let him go.

“I hope you’re right.” Sanghyuk muttered, giving a mighty sniff and clearing his throat. “I don’t remember the last time we were separated like this. We were never really ‘attached to the hip’, per se, but… He was always there. Always. If I wanted to see him all I had to do was go searching for him around the castle and he’d be there, sitting somewhere with his big nose stuck in a book about something boring.” Sanghyuk paused, throat bobbing as he swallowed down what Hakyeon assumed to be another wave of emotion. “It’s strange not having him around.”

Hakyeon smiled to himself hearing Sanghyuk speak of his advisor. “You seem to care for him a great deal.”

Sanghyuk’s face became positively red with the comment. “W-we were practically raised together, of course I care about him.”

Hakyeon had to bite the insides of his cheeks not to laugh at how flustered the prince had gotten. “Yes, of course.” After taking a deep breath the reel in the urge to snicker, he asked gently, “Are you feeling a little better?”

Sanghyuk sniffed and jerkily nodded in response. “Yeah. I’m sorry for that.”

“No need to apologize. I’m just glad you’re alright.” Hakyeon gave Sanghyuk’s shoulder an encouraging squeeze. “I know we’re still pretty much strangers, but if you need me, I’m here for you. I’m no Jaehwan,” he added in a teasing tone, which made Sanghyuk chuckle, “but I care too.”

Sanghyuk frowned slightly at Hakyeon. “You do? How do I know that’s not a lie? I still don’t know if you and Hongbin are not involved with the coup somehow.”

Hakyeon couldn’t help but to laugh at that. “Well, I can’t speak for Hongbin on this, but me, what do I have to gain from staging a coup? I have everything I need. I’m free to go where I want whenever I want, to love who I want, to live how I want. I do what I love. Why would I want to get involved with a political coup, of all things?”

Sanghyuk made a face. “When you put it like that… I can see your point.”

“You have nothing to fear from me, kid.”

Sanghyuk scowled at him. “I’m not a kid.”

Hakyeon rolled his eyes and laughed. “Alright, alright, I take it back. But I stand by what I’ve said, you have no reason to be wary of me. I have nothing against you.”

“Maybe I shouldn’t, but I believe you.” Sanghyuk breathed in slowly, letting out the air after a few seconds through his lips. “Thanks for this. I appreciate it.”

“None of that. I know it feels like that right now, but you’re not alone, Sanghyuk.” Hakyeon gave the prince a last pat on the back before getting up, saying in a lighter tone, “And you should hurry up and eat your apple tart, before Taekwoon comes to tackle it from you.”

That made Sanghyuk smile, at least. “He can try.”

Hakyeon left the roof feeling like his plan had been a complete success.

 

✶✶✶

 

Sanghyuk barely slept at all that night, and it didn’t help that their group set out on their short journey to find the maleficar Chansik had mentioned before the sun was even up. Not that he’d be able to sleep much if they stopped either way, but still. He was dead on his feet.

Talking with Hakyeon did help ease some of the heaviness that had sat upon his heart, but one talk can’t fix everything. He was glad to find a new ally in Hakyeon, and talking of his parents was surprisingly comforting, considering. The matter of Jaehwan being gone, though— That was not such an easy thing for him to forget or feel better about, because, in the end, Jaehwan was still out there somewhere on his own, with nothing to keep him safe but a demon bird and his blood magic.

Jaehwan was not incompetent, Sanghyuk never believed so for a second, but he was, after all, only one person; if he got himself into a situation where he was too vastly outnumbered, there was a large chance he would not survive. And what if he pissed off a templar? Or ten? It wasn’t unheard of and Jaehwan had the most useless talent of getting into people’s nerves without realizing. They could make him Tranquil. They could keep him trapped in the Circle. There could be cultists hiding in there that could kill him or keep him as a hostage. They could torture him. They could—

Sanghyuk took a deep breath and shook his head to chase those thoughts away. Those were the thoughts that kept him from getting a decent night’s sleep in the first place, he couldn’t let them continue to haunt him all through the day as well. He had to keep it together. He was trying very hard not to get worked up, not to let his nerves run rampant. He didn’t want to lose control. Losing control meant putting his companions in danger, and they were in enough danger to begin with.

It was not easy. He could feel his hands shaking, his heart beating rabbit fast, cold sweat on his temples, his neck, running down the dip of his spine. He was so nervous, so _scared_ —

“You alright?” Hakyeon’s voice caused Sanghyuk to jump, focused on his panic as he was. Hakyeon jerked back, startled himself at Sanghyuk’s reaction. “Andraste’s scorched nipples, I’ll take that as a no.”

“Sorry. I was distracted.” Sanghyuk said, clearing his throat and trying not to look _too_ embarrassed.

“What’s gotten into you?” Hakyeon asked, approaching him again. “Worried about Jaehwan?”

Sanghyuk pursed his lips and nodded to answer Hakyeon’s question, keeping his gaze down as they walked. He heard the dancer sigh next to him, the sound followed by the feeling of Hakyeon’s hand resting on his shoulder.

“I’m sure he’s fine.”

Sanghyuk only nodded again. He knew Hakyeon meant well, but his words felt hollow somehow - it wasn’t enough to ease his mind. He needed something solid, he needed to know, without a shadow of a doubt, that Jaehwan was alive and well. He needed—

Oh. Of course.

He raised his head so fast it was a wonder it hadn’t detached itself from his neck and turned around to look behind Hakyeon, to Taekwoon, who was lurking around the dancer’s back saying nothing, like he usually did.

“Taekwoon.” Sanghyuk called, bold for all that the Dalish still gave him the creeps. Taekwoon simply looked up to regard him curiously, waiting for him to continue. “Uh… You and Jaehwan are friends, right?”

Taekwoon tilted his head to side, looking like a legitimate confused puppy dog. “He seems to think so. Why?”

Hakyeon was looking from Sanghyuk to Taekwoon suspiciously, which was distracting to say the least. Still, Sanghyuk wanted answers and Taekwoon was the one who could likely offer those.

“You— Your raven.” Sanghyuk started, unsure. “It’s a demon, right?” Taekwoon answered with a simple nod. “And you talk to it.”

“It talks to me.”

“Sure, whatever, can it somehow tell you how Jaehwan is doing?”

Taekwoon stared at him silently for a long moment, long enough for it to be uncomfortable. Hakyeon was still looking between them expectantly, and as Taekwoon didn’t reply, the dancer said, “So? Can it?”

The Dalish turned his piercing gaze to Hakyeon, who, unlike Sanghyuk, didn’t seem at all fazed by it. It wasn’t a surprise, though - Sanghyuk had noticed how those two were getting along well. After a few more seconds of staring creepily, Taekwoon finally decided to talk.

“Jaehwan is fine.”

“The raven told you that?” Hakyeon questioned, and Taekwoon blinked lazily at him but didn’t reply. Hakyeon inhaled sharply, nostrils expanding. “I don’t know if you do that because you want to keep your secrets or if it’s just to drive me mad.”

Taekwoon shot Hakyeon a tiny side grin. “Both.”

Hakyeon made a noise that was close to a whistle through his nose, Taekwoon’s grin growing wider, and Sanghyuk rolled his eyes.

“Is Jaehwan truly fine? Where is he?” He asked, intent of keeping Taekwoon focused. If he wanted to flirt with Hakyeon he could do that some other time.

Taekwoon turned his attention back to Sanghyuk and said in his wispy voice, “Yes. He is traveling with merchants, and his journey is going smoothly so far.”

“That’s one chatty raven you have.” Hakyeon snided. Taekwoon huffed a breathy chuckle.

“Will the raven keep you updated while he’s away?” Sanghyuk pretended Hakyeon said nothing. “Is that why you sent it with him?”

“Fear will protect him.”

“And keep you updated?”

Taekwoon shrugged at that. Sanghyuk sighed, figuring that it was probably all he would get out of the elf. He then decided that, since he’d gotten _something_ out of Taekwoon, maybe he could try and flex his reach a little more. Taekwoon seemed to be in a decent mood, so that was as good a time as any.

“Do you have the jewel with you? The brooch.”

One of Taekwoon’s eyebrows quirked up at that. “Yes.”

“Can I have it?” Sanghyuk asked point blank, and quickly added when Taekwoon’s gaze turned suspicious. “J-just for a while! I’ll give it back to you.”

Taekwoon looked at him even more suspiciously. “You will?”

“Yes.” Sanghyuk promised with a short nod. “I just— I don’t have anything of my mother’s. Or my father’s, for that matter. The jewel… It was the last thing she gave me, you see. I just want to have it with me for a while.”

Taekwoon’s eyes narrowed, but he didn’t have enough time to do much more than that before Hakyeon waltzed into the conversation again.

“Taekwoon. Let him have the jewel.” Hakyeon said sweetly for all that his expression was commanding.

The elf— _Pouted_ at Hakyeon. He looked like an overlarge child seconds away from throwing a tantrum, and Hakyeon just scoffed at him.

“None of that. It’s not like you’re doing much with it right now anyway, so just let Sanghyuk have it, will you?”

Sanghyuk couldn’t even begin to comprehend the dynamics between those two, especially considering how they had met less than a week ago, and now they were doing this odd communication thing where Taekwoon would make faces and Hakyeon would— Just— _Understand._ Like Taekwoon had an entire silent dialect and Hakyeon was the only person in the world who knew the cipher. And Sanghyuk was also noticing that Taekwoon wasn’t this expressive with anyone else.

He’d thought about it in a spur of bitter jest earlier, how Taekwoon was flirting with Hakyeon, but there might be actually something to the joke - Taekwoon sure seemed to like Hakyeon a great deal more than he liked any of the others, at least. Even Jaehwan.

It didn’t look like either of them were even aware of that, though. And, granted, it wasn’t so obvious; Hakyeon was, from what Sanghyuk could tell, a friendly person, communicative and warm. He treated all of them equally, was kind and gentle to all of them, and it wasn’t clear if he was flirting with Taekwoon in return or if this was a one-sided attraction. But Taekwoon— His eyes, usually sharp and menacing, softened and lit up like a clear night sky whenever Hakyeon talked to him. It was all very cute. And also a little disturbing.

Sanghyuk hoped he didn’t look as dumb when he looked at Jaehwan.

“What do you think he’s going to do with it? Give it away to some stranger on the road? Toss it in a lake? Just give him the damn jewel already.” Hakyeon said, and Taekwoon, albeit reluctantly, agreed with a nod of his head. Hakyeon was thoroughly pleased by that, if his smug expression was anything to go by.

Giving Hakyeon a glare that was as effective as it usually was, Taekwoon whistled to call for his remaining demon raven, who materialized rather creepily on his shoulder, smoke tendrils becoming solid.

“Deceit, jewel.” Taekwoon muttered to the bird, and Sanghyuk was sure he didn’t imagine how the elf’s voice became somewhat cutesy - that stupid voice people make when talking to their pets kind of cutesy.

The raven bristled its feathers, flapped its wings briefly, and—

Sanghyuk grimaced, not unlike Hakyeon. The raven opened its beak and, jerking its head up and down while making the most disgusting noises Sanghyuk had ever heard, regurgitated the jewel, dropping it into Taekwoon’s waiting palm.

Ew.

Both Sanghyuk and Hakyeon were staring at Taekwoon and Deceit with thoroughly horrified looks on their faces, but Taekwoon wasn’t at all bothered by the fact his demon chicken had just basically puked on his hand. And the Dalish was still completely unperturbed as he moved his open hand towards Sanghyuk, prompting him to take the jewel.

“I guess you weren’t joking when you said the bird had eaten it.” Sanghyuk quipped, not making any move to take the brooch and instead inching away from it.

“Not to be that one guy who backtracks on his word, but I really, _really_ think you should reconsider taking that thing.” Hakyeon advised, entire face scrunched up in disgust.

Taekwoon rolled his eyes. “Deceit is a spirit. It has no internal organs, and thus no bodily fluids.”

“I’m not sure if that makes it better or worse.” Sanghyuk flinched when Taekwoon moved his hand closer to him.

“Do you not want it then?”

Sanghyuk gulped as if that would lessen the general ickiness of that moment and tentatively reached for the jewel, tapping it with his fingertips as a test before snatching it from Taekwoon’s palm with a whimper.

“Aaah, gross, gross, gr— Oh, it’s dry.”

“Told you.”

“Eugh.” Hakyeon cringed and took a step away from Sanghyuk.

“Hey, is that my jewel?” Hongbin, who had so far been walking further ahead of the group looking behind himself and stopped walking so the others could catch up.

“It’s not _your_ jewel.” Sanghyuk argued, clutching the brooch against his chest protectively.

“Can we not start fighting over this stupid jewel again?” Wonshik, walking a few paces behind everyone else and so far keeping to himself, decided to speak up. “I think we have more important things to worry about than who has the jewel.”

“He’s right, you know.” Hakyeon chirped.

“For example,” Wonshik continued, “you said your mother gave you this jewel?”

Sanghyuk quirked an eyebrow at the guard, who had picked up his pace to walk beside the others. “Yes.”

“And do you happen to know where she got it from?”

“She only said the tailor who worked on my clothes for the ball sent it through a courier.” Sanghyuk didn’t know much more than that, so he ended his sentence with a shrug.

Wonshik frowned, gaze fixed on the floor as if he was deep in thought. “You didn’t see this courier?”

“No, I did not.”

“And had the tailor mentioned anything about the brooch during your fittings?”

It finally dawned on Sanghyuk where Wonshik was going with those questions. “No, not once.”

“And have you seen any sketches of your clothes prior to their fabrication?”

“Briefly, yes.” Already knowing what Wonshik would ask next, Sanghyuk freely added, “The jewel wasn’t in it.”

“And do you know if anybody besides your mother saw the courier?” Wonshik continued, and Sanghyuk shook his head.

“No. I’m assuming she didn’t see the courier either, it was likely one of the stewards or a servant who received it.”

Hongbin, who had been quietly processing everything, muttered. “If they ‘received’ it at all.” When all five pairs of eyes turned to him, the elf continued in a slightly louder voice so all of them could hear. “Judging from how well organized the attack was, the likeliest possibility was that it was an inside job. The jewel might not have been delivered at all, meaning it had been there all along.”

“But if all they wanted was the jewel, then why give it to me?” Sanghyuk asked, and Hakyeon’s eyes went wide with a sudden realization.

“Wait. What if the jewel is not only something they want, but also an excuse to get Sanghyuk killed?”

“How so?” Wonshik asked, the gears very clearly still whirring inside his head.

“Hongbin was hired to steal it. What if whoever hired him to do it was expecting him to kill Sanghyuk for it and use Hongbin as a scapegoat for the massacre?”

Hongbin hummed pensively. “Hm. They did say ‘whatever means necessary’. And I have been known to enjoy the occasional murder.”

“Is there anyone who lived in or spent a lot of time in the castle that who could be behind it?” Wonshik carefully asked, and Sanghyuk could only shake his head defeatedly.

“I don’t know. I suppose plenty of people would have reason, no position is more coveted than that of a king, but— I can’t single out just one person.”

“What of the blood magic that killed the royal knights?”

Wonshik’s inquiry made the blood freeze inside Sanghyuk’s veins. “What of it?”

“Could Jaehwan have—”

“No.” Sanghyuk interrupted him before Wonshik could finish his sentence. “ _No_ , absolutely not. And he couldn’t have been behind it, I was with him the whole night. And most of the day as well. It wasn’t him.”

“Were there any other mages in Castrum Draconis?”

“The Mortalitasi often visited the castle to see my father.” Sanghyuk replied slowly, measuring each word. “But none of them lived there. The only mages who truly lived in the Castrum were Jaehwan and my father’s own Arcane Advisor, Seungho.”

There was a beat of silence at that. Sanghyuk looked around quizzically. “What?”

“Could this Seungho be the one behind it?” Wonshik’s question made Sanghyuk feel distressingly wrong-footed.

“I don’t think so? He’d been ill for a while before the ball.” Sanghyuk informed.

“Ill?”

“Yes, bedridden. He couldn’t even attend the party, in fact.”

“What was wrong with him?” Hakyeon’s tone was gentler, but there was still that probing edge to it that was slowly starting to make Sanghyuk very uncomfortable.

“Nobody knows. He would only allow this one physician to treat him and he didn’t tell anyone the diagnostics.” He informed. “Jaehwan even tried to help, but Seungho refused. His loss, really, Jaehwan was always an excellent healer.”

“The ‘illness’ could have been an excuse to give Seungho a plausible alibi.” Hongbin suggested, sounding way more chipper than anyone ever should while talking about a massacre. “You know, the old ‘but how could I have done it, I was super sick!’”

“And this physician you’ve mentioned could have something to do with it.” Hakyeon helpfully added. “You know, this does make a lot of sense.”

“I’m hungry.” Taekwoon suddenly blurted out, for whatever reason, and Hakyeon shot him an unamused look.

“You’re always hungry.”

“But if that’s the case, then why give me the jewel if they already had it?” Sanghyuk was very annoyed already.

“They could have miscalculated the results of their plan.” Hongbin mused. “If they wanted to use me as a scapegoat, then they would likely be confident that I would kill you for the jewel.”

“If they wanted Sanghyuk dead, why didn’t they hire you to kill him?” Wonshik’s voice betrayed a little of his suspicions. Hongbin wasn’t bothered by it.

“Because I’m not an assassin. What do you take me for?” Hongbin asked, unimpressed as they come.

“Sorry, I forgot you’re just a scheming thief as opposed to a heartless murderer.”

“Oh no, I am definitely a murderer.” Hongbin breezily corrected. “I just don’t do it for money. It’s more of a hobby of mine.”

“Noted.”

Sanghyuk chuckled, bitter, mirthless, the sound just bubbling out of him as he stared at the jewel on his palm. “My parents died, because of this. My home burned down, my city is in chaos, _because of this_.” He laughed again, shaking his head. “We’re running for our lives, Jaehwan is out there alone, and it’s all because of this stupid jewel.”

“Sanghyuk.” Hakyeon called his name gently, a hand being placed over his shoulder. “We’ll figure it out. It’s going to be alright.”

Sanghyuk didn’t say anything in response to that. He only stared down at the brooch on his palm, the deep blue stone in its center glistening under the morning sun, the silver of the dragon cold against his skin. Sanghyuk felt as if it was mocking him, laughing at his misfortune, snickering at the way they were caught running in circles trying to make heads or tails of the meaning behind it all.

He hated it.

 

✶✶✶

 

Hongbin was avoiding him.

It wasn’t a sudden conclusion, but something Wonshik slowly realized throughout the day. In fact, ever since the day before, after they left the chantry, Hongbin seemed to be intent on not speaking or hanging around Wonshik if not necessary. It was, for a lack of a better word, weird.

Ever since Hongbin had waltzed back into his life, he’d been constantly trying to be close, to speak to him, be around him. Now Hongbin had deliberately chosen to sit all the way across their camp, as far away as he could from where Wonshik was sitting, near the fire, with Hakyeon and Taekwoon between them working on something for them to eat for dinner. Hongbin would not even look his way, keeping his head down as he sharpened his daggers - not even when he wiggled around and flailed his arms to shoo Deceit away from him would Hongbin glance Wonshik’s direction.

Wonshik wasn’t sure what to make of it. Wasn’t sure if he should feel glad, relieved, or if he wanted to mourn the loss of Hongbin’s constant attention. It was like sitting atop a high wall, trying to keep his balance, and no matter to which side he fell at the end, he would end up with a few shattered bones.

And it wasn’t like Wonshik wanted to have Hongbin around; he hadn’t exactly forgiven Hongbin just yet, not for leaving without a word. All he did was acknowledge that Hongbin had no fault in current events, on the matter of the coup and Jimin’s death. He wanted to give Hongbin a chance, yes, but— What was the point of giving him a chance if Hongbin suddenly seemed uninterested in taking it?

Wonshik wanted to get to know Hongbin and the person he’d become over the years. He wanted Hongbin to know him, too. He thought that’s what Hongbin wanted as well, but now… He wasn’t sure.

Unless it was all a ploy to get Wonshik to lower his defenses. Maybe Hongbin was toying with him. Or maybe Hongbin had just given up.

The not knowing was driving Wonshik mad. He just didn’t know what Hongbin was thinking. He used to know. He always knew.

Times certainly had changed. He would have to keep an eye on the elf.

 

✶✶✶

 

Their second day of journey went by smoothly, much as the first day. Sanghyuk had been subdued after the conversation they’d had the day before about the ‘who could have beens’ of the attack, and Hakyeon couldn’t blame him - in his place, Hakyeon would be withdrawn too. The prince would sit somewhere on his own and just stare at the jewel, like the damn thing would somehow come alive and give them all the answers.

Hakyeon decided to allow Sanghyuk some time to think things through, but if he noticed the young prince was becoming too obsessive about the brooch, then he would step in.

And that was the plan.

Hongbin, thank the Maker, had stopped trying to pick a fight with everyone, and Wonshik also stopped his valiant attempts of making Hongbin angry. Sanghyuk was doing as well as he could, considering the circumstances, and Taekwoon—

“I’m hungry.”

“And what else is new?” Hongbin said without any bite.

Hakyeon sighed and pulled his own bag to search for anything edible for the elf to chew, finding that his supply of food was starting to run low. “Yeah, I’ve got no snacks anymore.”

“I can hunt.” Taekwoon informed, unprompted, but all of them understood where the elf was going with it.

“It’s getting late anyway, we can make camp for the night.” Wonshik suggested, already looking around to find a good spot to set up camp. “We’ll run out of sunlight soon enough, and we’ve made good time today.”

“Sounds fantastic.” Sanghyuk mumbled, kicking at the ground.

“And I can go hunt.” Taekwoon said with a firm nod, determined to make it happen. Adorable.

“I’ll go with you.” Hakyeon offered without knowing exactly why. It just— Came out.

Taekwoon looked as confused as Hakyeon. “You can hunt?”

“No, but backup can’t hurt, right?” He grinned at Taekwoon, who ducked his head but nodded to agree.

“You guys can go ahead, I see a clearing that way.” Wonshik pointed somewhere beyond the line of trees to their left. “It’s a good enough spot, so that’s where we’ll be.”

“Alright.” Hakyeon agreed, promptly shrugging off his pack from his shoulders and handing it to Hongbin.

Taekwoon did the same, looking around awkwardly without knowing what to do with his pack until Wonshik kindly stepped forward to get it from him. Taekwoon mumbled a ‘thank you’ under his breath, still not making eye contact, before he adjusted the bow and quiver around his shoulder. Hakyeon sort of wanted to pinch his cheeks.

Whistling to call for Deceit, Taekwoon turned and began walking the opposite way from their camp, going deeper into the surrounding woods with his demon raven perched on his shoulder. Hakyeon patted his sides to make sure his daggers were there and swiftly followed the elf into the thicket while the others moved to the clearing to set up the camp.

They walked in silence for a while, Taekwoon a few steps ahead of him and Hakyeon following where the elf led. He wanted to say something, talk about something, but he felt uncharacteristically tongue-tied.

Taekwoon was warming up to him, and Hakyeon couldn’t deny that he was not only curious but was coming to actually enjoy the Dalish’s company, quiet and unnerving as he was. There was this out of place vulnerability around him. It made Hakyeon want to craddle him like a baby, which was probably a creepy thought to have, but still. It was there. It was a thing.

And truly, it was good that Taekwoon wasn’t completely alone in their group. The others still found him too suspicious, too _eerie_ , and besides Jaehwan, Taekwoon hadn’t really become close to anyone. Spooky and secretive as he might be, Taekwoon was still a person - alienating him from the group wouldn’t do anyone any good and would only serve to hurt Taekwoon. And he was sensitive, Hakyeon could easily tell, and watching everyone getting along from the sidelines would be painful for him.

He said he’d been alone a long time. Hakyeon didn’t know exactly how long that was, but he could guess it was a considerable amount judging from how awkward he was around people and how weak was his voice. Thinking about it made Hakyeon’s heart ache, overflow with sadness. He wouldn’t go as far as to say he trusted Taekwoon just yet, but from what he was seeing of him, Taekwoon wasn’t a bad person. He didn’t deserve to live like that.

Hakyeon was yanked out of his thoughts when a very large, very menacing dark mass appeared before them, a few feet away, causing Hakyeon to dig in his heels and immediately go for his daggers.

A bear. A very big, very heavy looking bear. With very sharp claws.

Very bad.

So very bad.

In his shock with the sudden appearance of the beast, Hakyeon took a few seconds to notice Taekwoon hadn’t stopped walking. In fact, he was— Maybe a little too close to the bear. And getting closer.

“Taekwoon, step _back_.” Hakyeon urged between teeth, but Taekwoon, damn him, ignored his plea and kept advancing towards the bear, his bow still at his back. The elf showed no sign he intended to make use of his weapon, and that only made Hakyeon’s fear that much stronger.

Bears were bad news. Bears were _always_ bad news. And that wasn’t just any bear, it was a Great Black. Great Black Bears were larger and stronger than other bears, and maybe - _maybe_ \- the both of them could wound the creature enough to give them time to run away, because they would never be able to beat that thing on their own.

But there was Taekwoon, confidently stepping towards the beast as if it were no more dangerous than a kitten.

“Taekwoon, have you gone mad? Get _back_!” Hakyeon called again, voice closer to a squeak than anything else, and, again, was ignored. “Taekwoon!”

Taekwoon glanced over his shoulder at Hakyeon, eyes narrowed assessingly. After a pause, he said, “Lower your daggers.”

Hakyeon blinked. Taekwoon certainly have gone mad. “What?”

“Lower. Your. Daggers.” Taekwoon repeated, enunciating the words clearly. As Hakyeon made no move to oblige the request, Taekwoon sighed and added. “I need you to trust me. Lower your daggers.”

One more second ticked by, then two, and Hakyeon decided that if things went south, having his daggers sheathed would make running away a lot easier. With a resigned sigh, he finally did as Taekwoon asked and changed his stance to a relaxed one, sheathing his daggers and letting his arms fall limp to his sides.

Taekwoon seemed satisfied and turned to the bear again. The creature had been staring at them, obviously gauging its opponents. Part of Hakyeon wanted to just book it back to camp, but he would never just run away and leave Taekwoon to be eaten in his stead.

“ _Dirthamen’enansal_.” He heard Taekwoon say to the bear, and frowned.

Was Taekwoon— Was Taekwoon starting a _conversation_ with the bear?

Once he saw the elf _bow_ to the bear and continue speaking something in elven, he was sure - Taekwoon had lost it. Taekwoon was about to get eaten by a giant bear and they were too far away from camp for the others to hear their cries for help. Even if they did, they would never arrive in time; one swipe of those claws could nearly tear them in half, and that could be accomplished in about two seconds.

To his utter shock and surprise, the bear— Didn’t attack. The bear visibly relaxed and sat down, liquid eyes watching Taekwoon without that dangerous glint anymore. Instead, there was mild curiosity in them.

But when Taekwoon made to step forward towards the bear, Hakyeon jerked in fear. “Taekwoon—”

“It is alright, Hakyeon.” Taekwoon called back, still moving towards the bear to—

...To pet his snout.

Hakyeon’s jaw dropped. “You’re petting the bear.”

He heard Taekwoon’s chuckle even from a distance. That entire situation was surreal. Taekwoon, an elf, faced with a giant, deadly bear, a bear which was now sitting on its hindlegs being petted like an Orlesian lap dog.

Hakyeon could only watch, unsure if he should be concerned or enchanted by the scene unfolding before him. It was so unreal that when Taekwoon looked behind him and extended a hand to him in silent invitation, Hakyeon jolted as if awaken from a dream. He eyed Taekwoon’s hand warily for a moment, a flash thought of that being a ploy of Taekwoon’s to get Hakyeon killed and escape into the forest, but Hakyeon was slowly learning that he was incapable of denying Taekwoon anything.

And he was about to prove that fact by being eaten alive by a Great Black Bear.

 _Smart move, Hakyeon_.

Carefully, hesitantly, Hakyeon stepped closer to Taekwoon and, consequently, the bear, reaching out his own hand to hold Taekwoon’s once he came close enough. Taekwoon smiled, a movement so subtle Hakyeon could easily blame it on the soft sunlight that bled through the canopy of trees casting odd shadows on the elf’s features, and coaxed Hakyeon closer to the bear. Hakyeon glanced quizzically at Taekwoon, but the elf was serene, relaxed, as he guided Hakyeon’s hand to the beast’s snout.

It let Hakyeon pet it.

Hakyeon exhaled shakily, stroking the rough fur with more confidence now that the bear didn’t seem to be in a hurry to attack them. Taekwoon simply watched, looking rather pleased with himself.

“Long ago,” the elf started in that soothing, melodic, whispery voice of his, “before humans came to this land, Dirthamen decided to do an experiment and told each species of animal a different secret.” Taekwoon said, and Hakyeon found himself already entranced by the tale, by the atmosphere, by Taekwoon himself. “All creatures eventually shared their secrets, unable to keep them to themselves. All creatures, except the bear. The bear was the only one who kept the secret told by the Lord of Knowledge. From then on, Dirthamen favored bears above all, for they are trustworthy creatures. Loyal.” The Dalish turned his lovely dark eyes to Hakyeon. “You must never hurt those who are loyal to you, Hakyeon.”

Hakyeon let out a shaky breath without noticing he was doing so, eyes wide in wonder and lips slightly parted as he stared back at Taekwoon.

Taekwoon caught himself first, ducking his head shyly and turning to the bear. “Go in peace, friend. Dareth shiral.”

The bear blinked at Taekwoon and, lifting itself on its four legs again, slowly stalked back into the woods. Hakyeon was still reeling over the whole moment, that entire situation surreal and he’d been part of it. Had lived through it with Taekwoon, The Bear Whisperer.

What the ever living fuck, really.

“Will you explain to me how you managed to convince that bear not to eat us?” Hakyeon asked, his voice cracking in places from the fear he’d just experienced, legs still a little unstable.

Taekwoon rolled his shoulder lazily, watching the bear as it moved further and further away. “I just did.”

“You’re the most frustrating person I have ever met.” Hakyeon said jokingly, but Taekwoon didn’t seem to take it as one for he, again, ducked his head in embarrassment.

“I’m sorry.”

Hakyeon finally snapped back into himself and quickly said, “No, don’t apologize, I wasn’t—”

“It’s alright. I understand.” Taekwoon said in a wisp of a voice, raising his head to meet Hakyeon eyes. “I know— I know we are not friends.”

“Taekwoon—”

“Please, let me speak.” Taekwoon interrupted him again, firm for all that he was still whispering. Hakyeon obliged and stopped talking. “I— I don’t understand many things of how you humans live. I don’t— Don’t know how to properly express myself.” He paused, likely to let his vocal chords rest for a second before continuing. “I also know I don’t inspire confidence and that I am— Odd.”

“Taekwoon, you’re not—”

“Let me finish?” Taekwoon asked shyly, and Hakyeon stopped talking again after nodding to agree. “All I want to say is that... While I don’t have many experience with— _People_ , you… You have shown me kindness when I didn’t do anything to deserve it. When you didn’t have to show me any kindness at all.” His voice cracked a little at the end of the sentence, and, after clearing his throat briefly, he continued in a much softer voice. “I… I just— I need you to know that I appreciate it. And… And even if you don’t trust me, I trust you.”

Hakyeon couldn’t hide the surprise on his face at that, his heart picking up speed in such a way that his eardrums were pounding.

“I don’t ask for you to reciprocate this, I don’t expect it from you or anyone. The path I walk is a lonely one, and I have long since accepted it.” Taekwoon continued, gaze fixed on somewhere on the leaf covered floor of the forest bed. “I don’t understand many things, but I do understand loyalty. I know I am a stranger to you, that you see me as an enemy and someone to be wary of, but I am loyal to you.” Taekwoon glanced up briefly, as if he wanted to meet Hakyeon’s eyes but was too flustered to manage to do so. “You have proven many times to be a good person. That is valuable. I will never repay your kindness with anything that could do you harm. This I swear.”

By the end of his speech, Taekwoon’s voice was so weak it was a wonder he could talk at all, and that spoke volumes of his determination of saying those things to Hakyeon. Were Hakyeon not so stunned, he would have likely started to cry with how touched he was with Taekwoon’s clumsy words.

Instead of crying, Hakyeon said, “Taekwoon, you’re not alone right now. Not anymore. You don’t have to be alone.”

Taekwoon swallowed, throat bobbing up and down, and he looked down at the ground again, a sad smile on his lips. “Gentle.” He whispered, more to himself than Hakyeon. “Thank you.”

For some reason, Hakyeon had the impression Taekwoon hadn’t believed him; he didn’t have a chance to ask.

Without waiting for Hakyeon to say anything or even giving him a chance to process the last five minutes, the Dalish turned around and continued on his way. Hakyeon couldn’t do much else other than to follow him.

 

✶✶✶

 

Wonshik wasn’t sure what to expect when their little party arrived at Sunwoo’s contact’s house. It was lost somewhere in the middle of the woods for the sake of isolation, safety. It was a little cabin, made of grey wood with a straw roof, simple and rustic, almost fragile looking. It seemed the type of house one would see in an old children’s story, the house where the old crone, the village witch, lived.

And he didn’t forget, of course, that usually in such tales the village witch had a tendency to _eat_ the children.

For a flash of a moment, Wonshik thanked the Maker for being skinny. Hongbin looked meatier anyway. Let the witch eat him first.

Not that he would ever admit to having noticed Hongbin’s, erm… _Meatiness_.

“Alright… This place is creepy.” Sanghyuk commented, looking around curiously but not seeming frightened at all. Wonshik wished he had that control over his fear; he got scared far too easy, for one who worked as a guard. Not his most prideworthy trait.

“The Veil is very brittle here.” Taekwoon muttered, only his eyes moving as he took in the scenery. “I can feel the Fade moving around us.”

“Stooop.” Hakyeon whined, half-hiding behind Taekwoon like a frightened child. Taekwoon huffed a breathy laughter and Hakyeon swatted him on the shoulder. “Shush, it’s not funny.”

Wonshik figured he could at least take solace on the fact that he wasn’t alone in his fear.

“Well, we should, uh… We should go in, yes?” Wonshik vaguely gestured forward, hoping to the Maker nobody noticed how his hand was shaking a little.

“Chansik said the maleficar is harmless.” Hongbin reminded them. “No need to be afraid.”

“Sunwoo seemed to disagree with Chansik.” Sanghyuk helpfully pointed out, and Hongbin sighed.

“In his defense, Sunwoo gets scared of his own shadow.”

“That was in his _defense_?” Sanghyuk’s eyebrows shot up.

“Can I wait outside?” Hakyeon asked in a shrill whisper, peeking around the relative safety of Taekwoon’s broad shoulders. “I feel like my legs are made of pudding, if I try to walk I’ll fall, that’s how bad it is.”

“I’ll just have to carry you then.” Taekwoon shot an amused glance at Hakyeon. Wonshik noticed the blush on the former raider’s cheeks before he hid his expression behind Taekwoon again. “It’s too dangerous to stay here alone.”

“Ugh, fine, let’s just get this over with then.” Hakyeon snapped, clearing his throat and begrudgingly leaving his hiding spot, albeit not completely.

As if that settled matters, the group began moving towards the house’s entrance, Sanghyuk, bold as brass, taking the lead. The prince had just raised his knuckles to knock on the door when it opened with no warning, a dark-haired man appearing before them with one hand on his hip and the other leaning on the doorframe. His face almost dripped amusement.

“Took you long enough.” The apostate said, grinning.

“You— You knew we were coming?” Hakyeon asked, fearful.

The apostate raised an eyebrow like Hakyeon just said something very stupid. “Uh, I have windows, and you people were standing on my lawn like a teen gang of scarecrows for a long time, so… Yeah, that gave me a pretty good clue that you wanted to talk to me.”

“Oh.” Hakyeon blushed furiously and lowered his head. “Sorry.”

“Pfft.” The apostate made a dismissing gesture and then motioned them inside. “Come on in, come on in, you’re letting all the warmth out.”

Again, Sanghyuk was the first to move, followed by Taekwoon - who was diligently tugging Hakyeon along since he knew Hakyeon would turn and run for the hills at the first opportunity -, then Hongbin and Wonshik at last, who closed the door behind them. Wonshik had a thought that he just ended his own opportunity to run for the hills himself.

Maker help them.

“Kyuhyunie, we have guests!” The apostate called out, already on the other side of the living room, dropping onto a worn but comfortable looking armchair.

Wonshik was expecting the room to be dark and eerie, filled with herbs and chicken’s feet hanging from the ceiling like any decent spooky witch’s cabin should be, but the place looked— Actually very homey. There were two couches, one facing the other, and an oval coffee table sitting between them, the make and shape of it as rustic as the rest of the house. The armchair the maleficar had sat down on was located at one extremity of the table, making it look like the disposition of furniture was planned with the thought of holding meetings and consultations such as the one they were about to have.

The apostate crossed his legs and leaned back, dark eyes going from one face to the next with curiosity. Wonshik vaguely noticed Hakyeon trying to hide behind Taekwoon again.

“Guests?” Another man looking slightly disheveled entered from an adjacent room - Wonshik assumed it to be the bedroom - and looked around at them with mild curiosity. “We never get guests, though.”

“I know, that’s why I wanted to let you know that miracles do happen.” The apostate said, grinning at the man and then turning back at the group. “But where are my manners. Welcome, teen gang of scarecrows who spent an ungodly time standing around in my lawn, I’m Heechul, sorcerer extraordinaire, and this is Kyuhyun.”

“I’m not a sorcerer extraordinaire, but he never complained.” Kyuhyun added, cheeky, sending a look heavy with undertones at Heechul who just snorted.

“Shush, you’ll traumatize the children.” Heechul turned to their group after exchanging a smile with Kyuhyun, who’d moved to disappear into another room, grinning amicably. “Now, youngins, who the fuck are you and what do you want from yours truly?”

“I’m Hongbin, I’m a friend of Chansik’s.” Hongbin introduced himself with a confidence Wonshik envied a little, and Heechul nodded in acknowledgement.

“Ah, yes, Chansik. I haven’t seen the brat in ages.” He mused, tapping a finger to his chin. “I told him to visit me more, but that little boyfriend of his is terrified of me, for some reason. And your friends?”

“These are Taekwoon, Hakyeon, Wonshik and Sanghyuk.” Hongbin motioned to each person as he said their names. “We— Ugh, how the hell do I even start explaining this?”

“We got involved with some bullshit and there are people after us who are supposedly in this cult from Tevinter, so we have some questions we hear you could answer.” Sanghyuk supplied in Hongbin’s stead, and Heechul snorted.

“Well, that’s one way to explain it.” Heechul clapped his hands and leaned forward. “Take a seat, kids, before your scrawny legs give out.”

They shyly filed onto the two couches that sided Heechul’s armchair. Surprisingly, there was enough space for all of them even if they had to squeeze together a little.

“Alright, tell us your tale and ask us your questions.” Heechul leaned on one of the arm rests, eyeing each of them as if waiting for someone to speak.

“You have probably heard of the massacre at Castrum Draconis, during the Autumn Ball.” Sanghyuk took the reigns yet again. Wonshik wished the prince had let someone else speak of that particular part of their story, but Sanghyuk looked to be in control enough; there was a fire in his eye as he spoke, a determination. He wanted to see their quest through. “We were there when it happened, and not only the people responsible seem to want to finish the job and kill us, we also got ourselves mixed up in this wild goose chase for this thing here.” Sanghyuk plucked the jewel from his pocket and handed it to Heechul, who frowned with curiosity and took it in his hands to examine it. “We have no idea why this is so important.”

“I see.” Heechul said pensively under his breath, analysing the jewel with fascination. “I’ve heard rumours about this, I never dreamed I’d have it in my hands.” He bounced it on his palm as if testing its weight, before bringing it up eye level and squinting at it suspiciously. “You just happened to _trip_ on this?”

“It’s a long story.” Hongbin sighed. “Thing is, we have it and a bunch of weirdos in black robes are after us, and it all points to them wanting to get this jewel from us.”

Heechul hummed. “Weird people in black robes are never a good sign, you did good getting this away from them.”

“If only they weren’t chasing after us now to get it back.” Hongbin rolled his eyes. Heechul lowered the jewel and smirked at him.

“Actions have consequences, child.” Heechul promptly gave the jewel back to Sanghyuk, who stored it back in his pocket. “And I’d rather not have deal with those consequences as well, touching that thing for too long will result in some real bad juju.”

“Is it cursed?” Hakyeon asked with shock, and Heechul, again, looked at him with a bewildered expression as if he had just sprouted another head.

“Of course it’s not cursed, you’d be dead already from the time you’ve been holding on to it.” Then, frowning as if noticing something, Heechul looked around the room. “There’s an energy etched to it that is different, but I don’t see how—” He lifted his eyes, looking from Sanghyuk, to Hakyeon… And stopping on Taekwoon. “Oh. Hello, there. You were the one who had the jewel for the most time, weren’t you?”

Taekwoon blinked in that lazy cat way of his, and nodded to confirm. Wonshik got the impression Taekwoon was nervous, which was something new and very concerning, considering where they were; he could have chosen a better moment to break his aloof confidence.

“But you’re not going to tell me anything about it, are you?” Heechul was the picture of amusement, eyes glinting as he watched Taekwoon with a grin that was more than a little unnerving. When Taekwoon didn’t reply, that grin widened. “Oh, you’re a curious little thing, aren’t you? Wish I could crack that pretty head of yours open just to have a peek at what’s inside.”

Taekwoon narrowed his eyes, but continued silent. Heechul giggled like he had just heard a funny anecdote.

“No reason to worry, kittycat, your secret will only come to light when you choose to let it shine - nobody will hear anything about just how _wonderful_ you are from me.”

All eyes turned to Taekwoon at that, questioning, wary, and Taekwoon only lowered his head, forehead almost touching his knees in his attempt at concealing his face. Heechul chuckled and turned to the others again.

“But moving on.” The apostate huffed a small exhale. “Considering the massacre was about a week ago, you guys are certainly moving fast. What do you need to know from lil’ ol’ me?”

“This cult. We learned they are called Somnavaris and that they worship one of the Old Gods. The Dragon of Dreams, according to what we learned. Or, well, what we _think_ we learned.” Sanghyuk explained, uncertain. “We didn’t find much information about this Old God, we were expecting you would be more knowledgeable on the subject.”

Heechul’s smug grin was back. “I am. And yes, you are correct, they do worship the Dragon of Dreams.” Kyuhyun chose that moment to enter the living room carrying a tray with mugs of what looked like tea. Heechul beamed at him. “Aw, look at you, you precious diligent ray of sunshine, you wouldn’t be this well-mannered if I trained you.”

Kyuhyun scoffed, leaving the tray of mugs on the center table before moving to stand behind Heechul’s armchair. “The only thing you’d train me to do would be something unfit for the virgin ears of our guests to hear.”

“Hey, I’m not a virgin!” Sanghyuk protested, while Taekwoon managed to sink even lower in an attempt of hiding his face. Hakyeon blushed up to his ears. Hongbin laughed - cackled - and Wonshik had a coughing fit. Both Heechul and Kyuhyun seemed pleased with the results.

“I don’t think they’re here to have their sexual activities - or lack thereof - questioned, honey.” Heechul tutted and Kyuhyun landed a hand on one of the apostate’s shoulders. From all that their dynamics were odd, the gesture seemed intimate, loving. Wonshik immediately pictured himself having moments like that with someone, his eyes darting to Hongbin at his side briefly. He shook his head to chase the image away.

Nope. He was not going down that road. Not again, and not at that particular moment when he needed to stay focused.

“Uh, so, this Dragon of Dreams.” Wonshik forced them back to the point of the conversation, and Heechul tilted his head towards him to give him attention. “Is there anything you can tell us about it?”

“Oh, absolutely.” Heechul nodded, one of his hands moving up to rest atop Kyuhyun’s, the latter promptly lacing their fingers together naturally. Wonshik’s heart flipped inside his chest at the sight, and he made a point not to look at Hongbin - he was getting good at forcing himself not to look at Hongbin, almost mastering his Do-Not-Look-At-Hongbin face. “This Old God worshipping business began eons ago, it’s only natural many records of its early accounts were lost. There are some texts, very few texts around, that do mention an Old God unknown by the vast majority of people, but recently there are some debates happening. There was a chantry scholar, you see, sister whatshername, who published a thesis questioning the meaning of a particular constellation of stars, Draconis. She questioned the meaning behind it - Tevinters worshipped dragons for millennia, and yet they have a constellation representing a dragon that is not assigned to any of their gods? It does make one wonder.”

“The other Old Gods have their own constellations?” Hakyeon asked, eyes sparkling with curiosity. Heechul seemed pleased with the interest.

“Yes, they do, little swan.” The apostate nodded. “Dumat is represented by the constellation ‘ _Silentir_ ’, Zazikel by ‘ _Kios_ ’, Toth by, well, ‘ _Toth_ ’—” Heechul rolled his eyes at the lack of creativity on that one. “Andoral is represented by ‘ _Servani_ ’, Urthemiel by ‘ _Bellitanus_ ’, Razikale by ‘ _Eluvia_ ’ and Lusacan by ‘ _Tenebrium_ ’.”

“So they are depicted by constellations that somehow reflect what they represent? But... Having a constellation depicting a dragon with no name could be a way to just represent dragons in general, to honor them in a way, so did the scholar know of something that would indicate otherwise?” Wonshik asked, and, again, Heechul was pleased when he turned to face him.

“Indeed.” Heechul’s eyes were gleaming as he looked at Wonshik. “You’re not as dumb as I thought. I saw the sword and the shield and thought you’d be just another one of those Brawl-Before-Brains type, this is a rather pleasant surprise.”

Wonshik straightened his spine and smiled with the compliment.

“The constellation Draconis, the High Dragon, _could_ very well be a general representation of dragons.” Heechul continued, using the bridge Wonshik offered to proceed on the path of their conversation. “But, as much as tevinters worshipped dragons, there was a _big_ difference between their devotion to the beings they knew as Old Gods and other not-so-mystical dragons. For example, if you worship the God of, I don’t know, Butterflies, you will, of course, be respectful towards butterflies, but that doesn’t mean you’ll pray to every butterfly you see. The Old Gods are much more than just dragons.”

“But none of the other Gods are represented by a constellation that depicts a dragon.” Wonshik continued with his musings, and the corner of Heechul’s lips twitched in a small smirk. Wonshik caught himself, then, and blushed ever so slightly, shoulders hunched. “I, uh… Well, I don’t know much about this stuff, I never really got an education beyond ‘read and write’, so I’m not sure I’m not making a total fool of myself right now. I apologize if that is the case.”

“Oh, none of that, sweet thing.” Heechul made a dismissing gesture with his free hand. “Education or not, your logic is sound. Education is not a requirement for logic, and you are a very rational person, from what I can tell. So don’t sell yourself short.”

Wonshik huffed a breath, eyes wide with surprise, thoroughly touched by Heechul’s words.

“I… I won’t, thank you.”

Heechul smiled at him, almost paternal, and continued. “And your line of thought was correct. None of the other Old Gods is represented by a dragon in the stars. Razikale, for example, is represented by a constellation that depicts a woman with her head in the clouds, based on an old Orlesian folktale. There is nothing of ‘Mystery’ in a woman with her head in the clouds. The only mysterious thing about it is why would anyone see a woman with her head in the clouds in the goddamn stars.” Heechul scoffed. “Fucking Orlesians.”

“Then what is it about the constellation being a dragon that makes this so important?” Hakyeon asked, a hitch between his brows as he processed all that information.

Heechul watched Hakyeon for a long moment, long enough for Hakyeon to fidget awkwardly under the apostate’s gaze, before he turned to Wonshik instead. “Say, tiny mouth, what could be the meaning of Draconis representing an Old God?”

Wonshik blinked, taken aback. He cleared his throat, hesitating a little before speaking. “Uh… Well. If it’s the only God represented by a dragon, then… I suppose it’s a very powerful god?”

Heechul just watched him for a long moment, and Wonshik blushed again thinking he said something dumb, but soon enough Heechul was smiling and nodding at him. “Exactly. The Dragon of Dragons. If you think about it, the most powerful beings are always envisioned as the most powerful force of nature - take the Dalish, for instance.” Heechul motioned to Taekwoon. “Their most powerful god, Elgar’nan, the God of Vengeance, is represented by the sun. I would wager that the sun would win in a battle against a dragon, but that is irrelevant - though it would make for a fun discussion, Kyuhyunie, remind me later - because my point here is, Tevinters believed dragons to be the most powerful creatures in the world. So we are talking about a dragon powerful enough to earn his own representation… And then _poof_. Vanished from historical records. Why would that be?”

“Maybe…” Wonshik started, gears turning in his head. “Maybe the dragon was _too_ powerful? Maybe it caused too much destruction, or… Or maybe it went rogue, turned on their subjects?”

Heechul nodded slowly, considering. “Perhaps. Perhaps it simply called the historian responsible for keeping its records a big poopoo head, point is - there is a reason. To that I have no correct answers.”

“It could have been the followers themselves.” Hongbin mused. “If this god's followers became a nuisance, it would have been on the best interests of the majority to smother them before they went too far. It is still common today to see small cults and religions being brought down by the Chantry, although I believe the Chantry is far more sensitive on the matter.”

“Indeed, you are correct.” Heechul agreed with a motion of his head. “A God that keeps to themselves would have no reason to be erased, but if their followers are loud enough the neighborhood would start complaining. And if said followers are keen on _impressing_ their god in some revolutionary way, it’s more logical than not that the very government would take issue with them.”

“What could they do that would be so horrible to the point of having a god erased from historical records?” Sanghyuk questioned, looking like a confused puppy.

“Who knows. Maybe they threw little children to the sea as offerings. Maybe they sacrificed virgins and bathed in their blood - careful, kids, you’d be in danger. Maybe they sang very loudly and very poorly at all hours of the day. Maybe they were all old men with flacid cocks sauntering naked in public. The real answer is long lost, I’m afraid.”

“I really hope these people in robes are not an old-men-with-flacid-cocks-in-public sort of cult.” Sanghyuk shuddered and Heechul snorted.

“Yeah, well, who knows, did you have a look to see what they’re wearing under the robes? Didn’t think so. So stay alert and try not to look at them below the waist.”

“Speaking of the robed people.” Hakyeon started, pausing for only a moment to gather his thoughts before continuing. “Would they try to find this Old God and set it free? Would that mean the beginning of a Blight?”

“Oh, no, no Blight.” Heechul waved a hand as if the idea was ridiculous. “That would only happen if darkspawn were the ones to find it, and I’m assuming the robed people are _not_ darkspawn. An Old God only becomes an Archdemon if it’s tainted, so someone taint-free would very likely just unleash one very angry, not-contagious and incredibly powerful dragon into the world.”

“That’s… Not very comforting.” Hakyeon sighed.

“You didn’t come here for comfort, you came here for answers.” Heechul wisely pointed out. “If this was about comfort I’d have wrapped you in a blanket, given you a mug of hot cocoa, and I would be on my knees with my mouth on your—”

“Heenim.” Kyuhyun said with a warning undertone, even if his expression was amused. Heechul clicked his tongue.

“Spoilsport.” The apostate cleared his throat. “Anyway, as I was saying. This cult can be either pro or against this Old God, so any reason behind their motives to find it are up in the air. They might want to kill it, they might want to release it, they might want to hump its hind legs, _I don’t know_ , but I don’t think anyone would be safe if they did get to the dragon.”

“What if we destroyed the jewel?” Hakyeon asked, and Heechul shrugged, an amused smile on his lips.

“Good luck trying, I guess.” Heechul giggled. “And call me to watch, I could do with the entertainment.”

“That difficult?” Sanghyuk’s eyebrows shot up with concern.

“It’s a very powerful artifact, the one you guys found. I wouldn’t be surprised if one or all of you lost one or all limbs in the attempt.”

“But what _is_ it?” Hongbin asked, his voice betraying how frustrated he was. “Why is it so important?”

Heechul rolled one shoulder in a lazy shrug. “It can be many things. An old offering, perhaps. Or a map. Or a key. Or all these things combined. I’m afraid I cannot answer that for certain.”

“What of the massacre?” Sanghyuk suddenly asked, all eyes turning to him. “If the cult is just after the jewel, then why kill everyone at the ball?”

Heechul watched him for a moment, assessing, before answering. “They might be after the jewel, but judging from the happenings at the Autumn Ball, the jewel is not their only goal.” The maleficar paused, watching Sanghyuk intensely. “But you have probably figured that out already, haven’t you? You just wanted someone else to confirm it for you, to tell you that the cult’s objective seems to be political as well to give you a logical explanation for it.” A placid smile appeared on Heechul’s lips. “Am I correct, Your Highness? We’d bow, but we’re not Nevarran.”

They all paled at the words, eyes going wide and stomachs dropping. Sanghyuk looked like he’d seen a ghost.

Heechul, however, simply shrugged. “Oh, none of that. It’s not like I’ll go around advertising it.” He waved his hand dismissively at Sanghyuk.

“H-how did you know?” Sanghyuk asked, uncertain.

Heechul snorted. “If you’re expecting me to say something mysterious like ‘oooh, I could smell the blood of dragons in you’, you’ll be disappointed to hear that I merely have very good eyesight.” He motioned towards Sanghyuk’s neck. “Your bandages are coming loose there. Nice scales.”

Sanghyuk jolted in his seat and quickly covered his neck with one hand, ducking his head just as his face became crimson with embarrassment. “A-ah, thank you.”

“Don’t mention it. Now, kids, drink your tea, I think we have some cake?” Heechul looked up at Kyuhyun, who nodded and headed back to where the kitchen was. “You’re delightful guests, heaven knows how I love visits.”

“Cake sounds lovely, but is there anything else you can tell us?” Hongbin asked, an edge of tension in his voice. Wonshik wasn’t sure what to make of it. “Anything at all that can point us in the right direction?”

Heechul raised an eyebrow at him. “I’m not sure what else you can expect me to know. Fair, I am an apostate and former magister with a vast knowledge of various subjects, but I am, unfortunately, no historian.”

Seeing the disappointed looks on their faces, Heechul snorted and said, “Oh, come on, no need to be so bummed out. You asked me to point you in the right direction, maybe I can do that since you seem to be forgetting one very important fact.”

Sanghyuk perked up at that, eyes widening with expectation, curiosity. “And what fact is that?”

Heechul blinked slowly at the prince, eyes going from one person to the next slowly, like a teacher expecting a student to come forward. His smile widened as nobody spoke, pleased with the chance of sharing with them something they should have known already - it seemed to be Heechul’s favorite thing to do.

After about ten seconds or so, the maleficar leaned back on his armchair, looking pleased as the cat who got the cream.

“You traveled all the way here to ask me questions of Old Gods when you could have found answers right where you were.” As more quizzical looks followed, Heechul grinned smugly at them and said, “The third Archdemon, the Old God Toth, was slain in Hunter Fell.”

 

✶

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok, lemme get emotional for a sec here
> 
> the previous chapter got this fic to 100 kudos and 1k hits, and i cannot express how much that means to me. i started posting this story firmly believing nobody would give it the time of day, and it makes me so incredibly happy to know that you like this fanfic.  
> i know that for some of you this milestone doesn't mean much, but this is actually huge and meaningful to me because a) this is the first story i post anywhere in over a decade and b) it's the first story of mine i post in english, because it's not my native language and my vocabulary is not the greatest. all the feedback i've received so far was positive and i can't even begin to describe the relief and joy i feel to know i'm not completely screwing this up. so thank you.
> 
> for this reason, i thought of maybe doing something to celebrate. i'm not exactly sure what, and by the time i get it done i'll have reached another milestone (hopefully), but i want to share this with my readers somehow.  
> i thought of a few things, those being writing a little collection of party banter (as in, only random dialogue the characters exchange during their travels, something that is part of the dragon age games), or maybe hearing out a few of your headcanons/theories/requests about this au and maybe writing little ficlets about them, or... i don't know, whatever you guys want, i suppose. i thought of making individual gifsets for each character, but i think that's more appealing to the readers who have a tumblr and i know not everyone has one, so... yeah. i want everyone to be able to enjoy it.
> 
> so if you have any opinions on this or any other suggestions or ideas, hit me up! like i've said, english is not my native language, so if you feel somehow intimidated about having to speak english with me, i speak portuguese and understand spanish (i can't speak spanish, but i understand it. it's a talent.), so if you want to talk me in those languages, you can go right ahead! you can reach me here through the comments, or on my [twitter](https://twitter.com/ghostlike91), or on [tumblr](https://ghostlike91.tumblr.com) if you prefer to stay anonymous.
> 
> again, thank you so much for all the support thus far, i hope you continue to enjoy my story! ♡


	8. In Dreams

✶

 

Hakyeon was dreaming.

He had no idea how he knew that - he just did. He was dreaming.

The world was bright around him, sunny and warm. The colors were vibrant, the sand golden under his bare feet, the ocean a deep turquoise almost matching the hue of the sky, the line between them blurry on the horizon. Looking around him, he found the rocky cliffs he used to climb when he was younger, the outline of the rustic houses that made up the village where he was born in the distance.

He was home. 

And he was absolutely certain he was dreaming; he remembered very clearly going to sleep. More than that, he remembered having dinner with the others, remembered eating the fish Hongbin had caught for them earlier that evening, remembered the idle conversation around the fire. He remembered setting up his bedroll somewhat close to the firepit to keep warm, that night colder than the previous ones, and he remembered snuggling under his blanket and saying goodnight to the others.

He was definitely asleep and that was definitely a dream.

It was so real, though. Too real. Everything had that dream-like quality to it, fuzzy around the edges, but Hakyeon felt so—  _ Present _ . He could feel the rough texture of the sand where he stood, the warmth of it, could feel the breeze hitting his face and dislodging his hair strands, could smell the salty air of the ocean, hear the seagulls overhead. 

He’d heard of lucid dreaming before, not only once, and he remembered hearing that if one slept somewhere where the Veil was thinner, they would experience more vivid dreams. Maybe it was that. They were already several hours away from Heechul’s house, but who knows, maybe the Veil was still just as thin where they decided to camp as it was back at the maleficar’s home.

Or this was nothing but a freak occurrence, something he was experiencing for the first and last time and there was nothing to be concerned about. He was happy to be home either way, no matter if only inside a dream.

Hakyeon took a few hesitant steps forward, afraid of breaking the illusion if he moved too fast, but seeing that everything continued to look as solid as ever, he relaxed and walked confidently to the edge of the water, the temperature of the sand growing colder as he approached, damp and then wet. So real.

Closing his eyes, he breathed in the ocean air slowly, let it fill his lungs completely before exhaling just as calmly. He wondered if he walked all the way to his mother’s house he would find her there, if she would be cooking lunch and humming under her breath, a scene he’d witnessed so many times growing up and that he dearly wished to see again.

And maybe he would have done that, if he hadn’t suddenly felt a presence nearby.

It didn’t startle him. Didn’t make him nervous. It was just—  _ There _ . He was no longer alone on that beach and that was perfectly alright. Whoever it was didn’t have a threatening aura, wasn’t there to hurt him. It was alright.

“You miss it.”

That voice made Hakyeon both freeze up and melt at the same time, which was an entirely new sensation to him. He decided it wasn’t a bad one.

Looking back to face to the new feature in his dream, Hakyeon found Taekwoon standing in the sand a few steps away, looking clearer than anything else around him and extremely out of place in his leather gear and boots, the outfit made for cold weather. It suited him, Hakyeon rather thought, how Taekwoon never seemed to  _ fit _ anywhere, always sticking out like a sore thumb while being, at the same time, inconspicuous enough to go by unnoticed if he so wished.

It didn’t look like he wanted to go by unnoticed at that moment, though.

“I do.” Hakyeon confirmed with a soft smile, turning back around to face the ocean again. “I haven’t been back in a while. I want to visit after— After all this is over.”

He didn’t want to say ‘if we’re still alive when this is over’, but he felt that it was implicit enough that he wouldn’t have to say it out loud. He didn’t want to accidentally speak it into existence.

“It’s beautiful here.” Taekwoon muttered, and in that dream setting his voice sounded much clearer and louder than it actually was. “Peaceful.”

Hakyeon smiled to himself and nodded. “Yes. Yes, it is.” Inhaling the fresh air of the sea again, Hakyeon finally turned around to approach the Dalish. “It’s better in reality, though. I’m glad to see it again, but I know it’s just a dream. It’s not— Not tangible, I suppose. Once I wake up, it will be gone.”

Taekwoon’s head tilted just the slightest to one side as the elf pondered over Hakyeon’s words.

“Doesn’t it make it more special?”

Hakyeon cocked his own head in confusion. “More special how?”

Taekwoon rolled his shoulder, a smooth, effortless motion. “You tend to appreciate something that you know is fleeting much more than something that you know you will always have.”

There was something in Taekwoon’s voice that broke Hakyeon’s heart, crystal shards jingling inside his ribcage. He heard so much in that gentle whisper; he heard sadness, regret, longing. He heard pain. He wanted to make it go away, wanted to tell Taekwoon that he deserved happiness just as much as anybody else, that he didn’t have to be alone, but how could he say something like that, speak of such personal things, to someone he barely knew? He didn’t want Taekwoon to take it the wrong way, didn’t want him to feel like he was trespassing his boundaries, overstepping the limits of the Dalish’s comfort zone.

But it was just a dream. He didn’t have to feel so pressured to be careful.

“Are you alright?” Hakyeon asked with some caution, stepping closer to the elf. “You sound sad.”

Taekwoon blinked, expression giving nothing away, but Hakyeon could still see the surprise in his eyes. “I am alright.”

“You don’t have to lie, you know.” Hakyeon shot Taekwoon a little side smile, motioning for him to come closer as he sat down on the sand. Taekwoon hesitated for a moment, but soon moved to sit next to him.

Hakyeon took notice of the distance between them. He wouldn’t reach Taekwoon even if he stretched out his arm.

“Do you want to tell me what’s wrong?”

Taekwoon licked his bottom lip nervously, something Hakyeon was learning was an anxious tick of the elf. “It doesn’t matter.”

Hakyeon frowned. “What doesn’t matter?”

“Talking.” Taekwoon mumbled, poking at the sand with the tip of his index finger. 

“You can’t know that if you don’t try.” Hakyeon argued smartly. Taekwoon continued to poke the sand, digging a tiny little hole in it like a bored child. “Come on. Tell me what’s making you sad.”

Taekwoon jutted out his lips in an adorable pout. “You’ll laugh. And you’ll think I’m weird.”

“I always think you’re weird, though.” Hakyeon joked, but Taekwoon didn’t seem to take it as such for he lowered his head and hunched his shoulders, trying to make himself smaller. Hakyeon kicked himself in thoughts because, really, not even his dream self could keep his own damn mouth shut, and quickly said, “That’s not a bad thing. You’re fine the way you are.”

Taekwoon glanced at him from the corners of his eyes, shy as shy could be, before ducking his head again. Hakyeon wasn’t sure if he was still sad or just embarrassed. Perhaps a little bit of both.

Deciding to take more action than just tossing some nice words Taekwoon’s way, Hakyeon scoot closer to him to sit at a distance where he could reach out and touch if the elf required so, but still far enough to give Taekwoon room to be comfortable. The elf startled with the sudden proximity, eyes widening, but other than curling up more into himself Taekwoon didn’t try to move away. Hakyeon would take what he could get.

“I really didn’t mean it in a bad way.” Hakyeon said, earnest. Taekwoon kept his gaze firmly turned to the ground. “Forgive me?”

For a few seconds, Taekwoon didn’t react, still keeping his eyes low and poking at the sand awkwardly. Hakyeon didn’t try to rush him, didn’t try to coax him into forgiving him, just sat there and waited for elf to choose to say something on his own. It’s not like he was in a hurry anyway. It was a dream after all.

At last, Taekwoon nodded shyly, once and then twice, before he turned his face a few inches so he could meet Hakyeon’s gaze. Hakyeon smiled—  _ beamed _ at the elf, and was delighted to see the adorable pink dusting his cheeks. Taekwoon was so cute. It wasn’t fair. Shouldn’t be fair. Hakyeon sort of wanted to pinch his cheeks, and since it was his dream there would be nothing more natural than to do whatever he wanted, right? Right

Then Taekwoon winced and hugged himself, and the moment was over. Hakyeon’s eyebrows shot up with concern and he reached out to touch Taekwoon’s arm gently. He felt so solid under his palm. So real.

“Taekwoon, what’s wrong?”

Taekwoon blinked and turned to him, face twisted into something that looked like… Well, a pout. Another adorable pout.

“I’m cold.”

Hakyeon’s eyes snapped open, and he was greeted by the dark canopy of leaves overhead and the distant sounds of crickets and owls hooting. He wasn’t asleep for even a couple hours, judging it was still very dark.

Fighting the sleep from his muscles, Hakyeon pushed himself up and looked around. His companions were all sound asleep, Wonshik snoring loudly and seeming quite content all snuggled up in his bedroll; Hongbin was sleeping not very far from the guard, all curled up in fetal position and hugging his blanket; and Sanghyuk was pouting in his sleep, his cheek squashed against the pillow.

Hakyeon got up and stepped around the others, being deliberately careful not to wake anyone, only stopping near Taekwoon’s belongings to pluck a blanket from his possessions before continuing on his way. Taekwoon was sitting not far from where the group was sleeping, perched on a fallen log, hugging his knees. He seemed bored out of his mind, even more now that they were finally in a place comfortable enough that they weren’t keeping watch in pairs anymore. Hakyeon simply approached and draped the blanket around his shoulders.

Taekwoon’s head snapped up with the surprise, eyes wide - it was almost the same expression he had during the dream, when Hakyeon said he looked sad. The memory caused Hakyeon to fluster.

There he was, dreaming of having personal conversations with the elf and then acting like a blushing flower when facing the real Taekwoon. Now he understood why Hongbin cringed so much.

“You, uh… You looked cold.” Hakyeon explained, deciding not to mention how he had dreamed about it instead of just having a hunch.

Taekwoon’s lips quirked up in a tiny little smile that made Hakyeon’s stomach flop around like a dying fish inside his belly.

“Thanks. I really was cold.” He said, closing the blanket tighter around himself.

“Anytime.” Hakyeon smiled down at the elf. They just stared at each other for a moment long enough for Hakyeon to feel uncomfortable and awkward, which made him clear his throat and babble out, “I should, uh… You know. Bed. Get back. Get back to bed. Yes.”

Taekwoon’s head tilted a little to the side, and he nodded briefly to agree. “Mm. Good night.”

“Good night.” Hakyeon waved a hand in farewell, only to immediately feel stupid for it. Blushing up to his ears, Hakyeon turned around and stomped back to his bedroll.

 

✶✶✶

 

“—and this is how I learned that fire spells actually do burn.” Jaehwan ended his tale and Fear squawked on his shoulder, feathers puffing out. “It’s a good story, right? I tried telling it to Daeguni back when we were on our way to Hunter Fell, but all he did was stare at me like I just hadn’t told him the funniest story ever.” He huffed with the memory of such indignity. “Not you, though, you know how to appreciate a good story.”

Fear cawed in reply and Jaehwan smiled at the raven, before turning his gaze back around to the road.

“I hope those five are doing well.” Jaehwan sighed. “Daeguni said they are, but— I worry about Sanghyuk.”

He did. He knew Sanghyuk wasn’t doing well, and were his task not important he would never have left the prince’s side. He was tasked to take care of him, look after his well being, but how could he do that not being there? He trusted Taekwoon to keep an eye on Sanghyuk, but he sadly knew Taekwoon’s attention span was not the best. The second best thing would be Wonshik, but Jaehwan had the most distinct impression that the guard had other things on his mind. Hakyeon— He didn’t know what to make of him just yet. He didn’t seem bad, not really, but knowing the man had been a raider once upon a time made him look… Less than reliable.

And Hongbin could be trusted as much as one can trust a fish not to swim.

Sanghyuk was strong, though. Jaehwan had known him for years, and that was fact; Sanghyuk was stronger than anyone, even Sanghyuk himself, gave him credit for. He was determined and hard-working, focused and disciplined when he wanted to be. When he had to be. And the prince, despite being a stubborn little shit sometimes, was careful enough not to get himself into trouble.

He missed him. It felt so strange to wake up in the morning and have nobody to attend to other than himself. No one to look after but himself. And only to make matters worse, Sanghyuk had told him he never hated him. At the worst possible moment.

Jaehwan had been over the moon about it. How could he not be, finding out that his future employer and the person closest to him didn’t hate him. Of course he was happy, he was ecstatic about it; not only that made him and Sanghyuk (sort of) friends, it also meant that the fondness he harbored towards the prince was not one-sided.

Yes, fondness. It wasn’t love. Of course not. Yes, sure, he found Sanghyuk extremely attractive and more than once had to contain the urge to trace his scales with his fingertips in a Not Academic Way, and yes, he cared for him a great deal, but it wasn’t love.

Absolutely not.

It would be unprofessional anyway, to have such feelings for Sanghyuk. And unrealistic, because, truly, really, seriously, what was he? Some pure maiden sighing at the night sky and making wishes upon shooting stars for prince charming to reciprocate their affectations? Ridiculous. Jaehwan enjoyed telling jokes, but that— That was a very bad joke, even for himself.

It’s not like it mattered, in the end; Sanghyuk would be crowned, and, after that, he would choose himself a bride, likely a woman from another nation in the name of ‘ensured friendship’, get married and go on his merry way to make a bunch of tiny little Sanghyuks that would tear down Castrum Dacronis in about five minutes. They’d call him Uncle Jyani. He would be the fun uncle who gives them candy behind their parents’ backs and always has a new magic trick to awe them with.

And that’s how the story would go. Sanghyuk would get himself a happy ending. Advisors don’t get happy endings - advisors are the ones in the backstage, making sure the prince, the king, got his happy ending. The ones that made sure that happy ending would last.

Jaehwan had long since come to terms with the fact that he would likely never get a happy ending of his own. His life’s purpose was to serve Sanghyuk until the day he decided to dismiss him. He was trained for that. His job was to keep him steady and guide him in the right direction, to be available to him at all and any times.

He wasn’t even sure advisors  _ could _ marry; he’d never seen or heard of an advisor who was married before, or who had kids. In fact, he never even heard if advisors could have  _ lovers _ . It was never mentioned during his training, but it made an awful lot of sense. Love was a distraction, and one could not be distracted from their duties when advising the ruler of a nation. Love skewed one’s perception, made them biased. Following that logic, Jaehwan would gladly live the rest of his life in chastity if it meant keeping Sanghyuk safe and happy.

...But what if their lover  _ was _ the ruler of the nation?

The thought hit Jaehwan so suddenly he tripped on his own feet and almost dropped to the ground like a ripe apple from a tree. Fear squawked in protest, flying off his shoulder up to the sky. No. No, no, no and no, he couldn’t think those things. Sanghyuk—  Sanghyuk was barely more than a teen. Sanghyuk was trusting him to keep him safe and guide him, he couldn’t betray that trust thinking those kinds of thoughts. No.

He was just feeling a little lonely, that was all. Not only because he was traveling alone, but also because the last time he had a romantic affair was back when he was fourteen, still at the College in Cumberland, and he’d gotten his first and last boyfriend - whom he left behind for the chance of being the Arcane Advisor to the crown prince of Nevarra. Which, in retrospect, he didn’t regret.

He didn’t. Really, he didn’t. It was just loneliness. He was just— Just attention starved. Yes, that was it. He just needed some human interaction, that’s all. Fear was fine to have around, but it didn’t reply to him, didn’t make conversation. Jaehwan wasn’t Taekwoon, Demon Bird Conversationalist Extraordinaire. 

Breathing in slowly, deeply, Jaehwan counted to ten inside his head. Being on his own was driving him a little crazy, that was all. He was just lonely. It was just loneliness and it would pass. That Sanghyuk was the current object of his fixations wasn’t all that odd as well - Sanghyuk was the one he missed the most, after all. Of course his mind would automatically conjure thoughts of him. Of course. It meant nothing. It wasn’t— It was fine. Everything was fine.

Looking up in search of Fear, Jaehwan whistled at the raven to call him back to his side. He was lonely enough, he wanted to at least keep his demonic traveling companion close. The raven promptly shifted its course to fly down and perch back on Jaehwan’s shoulder, and Jaehwan, pleased, gave the bird a little pat on the head.

The best he could do was to focus on his journey. Yes. He’d managed to catch a ride with a caravan of traveling merchants, but they had stopped at a settlement and Jaehwan decided to continue on; they weren’t going to Perendale anyway. The amount of ground traveled was good enough already, having cut down three days of the amount of time it would take to reach his destination. The faster he got to Perendale, the faster he would be able to leave Perendale. The faster he’d be able to return to Sanghyuk’s side.

...And there he was, thinking of Sanghyuk again.

It was silly. So silly. Even in the remote chance Sanghyuk saw him as anything more than his nosy (pun not intended) advisor, nothing between them could ever be - Jaehwan was a mage, and not only a mage, but a blood mage. It was already bad enough that he was a blood mage advising the future ruler of Nevarra, to have a blood mage as a  _ lover _ — No. If word got out, it would destroy Sanghyuk’s image and credibility in the eyes of the people. Jaehwan would be either made Tranquil or executed, and Sanghyuk— Sanghyuk could lose the throne. And he could be executed along with him, if they decided he’d been possessed or was under Jaehwan’s “evil” influence.

Sanghyuk deserved better than that. He’d been through enough, suffered enough - he shouldn’t worry about Jaehwan being a liability on top of everything else. Once that entire ordeal with the jewel and the cultists was done and over with, once Sanghyuk was crowned, Jaehwan would take it upon himself to ensure Sanghyuk chose a good bride. Someone nice. Someone he actually liked.

He would stop using blood magic, too. He never used it much before, keeping his spells clean of any blood as much as he could, Sanghyuk’s tonics a rare exception to it. His blood magic was needed now, when they were out there literally fighting for their lives and running headfirst into potentially dangerous situations, but he wouldn’t need it anymore once it was all over.

He would give up his blood magic, for the sake of Sanghyuk’s rule.

Yes. That was the plan.

He would give up blood magic, he would help Sanghyuk find a good queen, and he would make sure he was the best king he could possibly be. And that would be enough. Keeping Sanghyuk safe would be enough.

Jaehwan vehemently ignored the empty feeling inside his chest as he had those thoughts.

Set on pretending he wasn’t having an existential crisis, Jaehwan decided to continue having his one-sided conversations with Fear, who, despite not being very communicative, was a good enough listener. And Jaehwan liked to talk, so— Wins all around.

“You know what I miss? Singing.” Jaehwan said, Fear only tilting its head to the side as he spoke. “You know they taught us to sing? Both me and Sanghyuk, we learned to sing and play a myriad of instruments. It’s apparently  _ expected _ from us, you see, to be educated in various forms of art. I liked painting too. Drawing, in general. Sanghyuk was always better with his words - but only on the paper. It’s like he can’t express himself if not on paper. I remember one particular piece of poetry he wrote that was quite scandalous; our tutor smacked him on the head with a rather heavy book.”

Jaehwan started to laugh at that particular memory but promptly clamped his mouth shut again.

Oh.

He was talking about Sanghyuk again.

His spirits deflated some, shoulders slumping as he continued to drag his feet along that scarcely traveled road.

“Does Daeguni ever start sounding less than sane spending so much time on his own?” Jaehwan asked Fear in a small voice. Then, realizing what he said, he scoffed. “I forgot about the ‘vow of silence’ thing. Nevermind.”

Fear only cawed in response and began grooming the feathers on its belly, obviously not giving a flying nug’s ass to what Jaehwan was saying. Jaehwan sighed and decided to just keep walking. He would likely have to stop soon to eat - from the position of the sun in the sky, it was close to noon already. He would find somewhere with a nice shade to sit down, have some of the honey bread he bought for himself at the last settlement, and rest for a while before setting out again. He was making good time, all things considered; traveling on his own had at least that one bright side.

He was already dreaming of the sweet taste of honey bread when he noticed Fear had gone completely still on his shoulder. Jaehwan frowned and stopped walking, looking at the raven with a question written on his features.

“What’s wrong?”

Fear’s head was twitching slightly as the bird looked from one side to the other, until, finally, fixing its gaze towards the hills that sat on the left side of the road. Jaehwan followed the bird’s line of sight and— Yes, that was definitely smoke. A campfire, perhaps. They had passed several travelers along the way, but none of them had made Fear react like that.

Probably best not to ignore the demon bird.

Jaehwan veered away from the path towards the hills, climbing it as quietly as humanly possible. As he walked, he began discerning noises coming from the presumed campsite - voices. Laughter. Definitely more than one person. Highwaymen? Or another caravan of merchants? Maybe he’d be lucky and this group would be headed to Perendale.

He almost laughed at that. When was he ever lucky?

As he got closer to the top of the hill, the voices became clearer and, with it, so did the conversation whoever was was having.

“—probably won’t even notice we’re gone!” One voice spoke, gruff and booming. Sounded like a big guy; Jaehwan’s mind conjured the image of a bear, for some reason. “Those cultists types don’t care about who they hire!”

Jaehwan froze mid step, the blood draining from his face. ‘Cultists’. The guy said ‘cultists’.

“They pay like crap too.” A second voice added to what the first one said, this one more high pitched than the other one but just as rough. “Issa wonder the others din’ wanna come with us.”

“The others are suckers, that’s what they are.” A third voice spoke this time, this one sounding almost bored. Or drunk. Maybe both. “Betcha them cultists will kill all of ‘em once they get whatever they want, gettin’ mixed up with that lot is never good.”

Jaehwan didn’t need to hear more than that - bandits and cultists working together wasn’t something so common that he would, quite literally, happen upon them walking down the road. No. Those were the same bandits who attacked the castle. Who killed the court. Who ruined everything.

Jaehwan’s breathing became shallow, ragged, his heartbeat speeding up and his fists clenching. He was so angry he could feel the rage making his blood boil in his veins. He understood now what people meant when they used the term ‘seeing red’ - Jaehwan wanted to rip them apart. He’d never felt such raw anger before; he had to wonder if that was Sanghyuk felt with his dragon blood constantly keeping his emotions running high, if that was how anger felt like to the prince.

And he really had to stop thinking about Sanghyuk.

He finished climbing the hill and peaked over it, finding the bandits sitting around a small campfire near the bottom of the slope. He took a moment to count them - six. Six fairly large men, which was bad, but six fairly large men who were distracted and had no weapons nearby.

Looking over at Fear, Jaehwan grinned. “So, should I kill them fast or should I kill them slow?”

Fear cawed and flapped its wings, looking rather happy for a bird. Jaehwan nodded in acknowledgement, already slipping the knife out of his belt calmly. Where would it hurt more? Thigh? Thigh, yes, stabbing himself on the thigh always hurt like a bitch.

“Slow it is.” He concluded, raising the knife and taking a deep breath before bringing it down with all the force he could muster on the meaty part of his innerthigh. The burst of energy filled him instantly, eyes glowing red, and Jaehwan let himself go - let the power of his blood take control.

Later he would regret not saving at least one of them for questioning, but at that moment— He would show those bandits what a massacre really looked like.

 

✶✶✶

 

Things had been somewhat calm since they left Heechul’s house. Nobody had bickered yet, at least, and they were all learning to work together and be around each other, how not to step on each other’s toes. Wonshik was learning how to get along with Hakyeon - who, he found, was not hard at all to get along with - and was also getting closer to Sanghyuk. Taekwoon— He creeped the hell out of him, but he was also beginning to understand the Dalish elf better. He wasn’t a bad person, from what he could tell - he was just an oddball. Taekwoon, Wonshik was learning, could be extremely sweet when he wished to be.

And Hongbin… Hongbin was still avoiding him.

It wasn’t something so glaringly obvious that the others had taken notice as well, but to Wonshik it felt like whatever bridge they had started to build between each other was torn down. And the rubble of it set on fire. And the ashes scattered in the wind.

In short, it felt very,  _ very  _ frustrating.

They had stopped to rest and have something to eat after walking all morning, not bothering to start a fire since the sun was high and the sky clear, and they didn’t have anything that needed to be cooked. Heechul had supplied them with bread and biscuits - and a small jar of strawberry jam for Sanghyuk since he was the prince and all - so their lunch was well under way. Hakyeon and Sanghyuk were already sitting down under a tree, the prince using a small pocket knife to cut his bread in half and spread jam inside, while Hakyeon fussed over how Sanghyuk was letting the jam drip on his clothes like a child. Taekwoon was perched on a branch above them, reclined against the trunk of the tree with one of his legs dangling in the air, munching away on the biscuits while looking around at the scenery. And Hongbin was crouched next to his pack, a little ways away from the others, searching for something in his belongings.

Wonshik rolled his shoulders, took a deep breath, and approached the elf. If Hongbin was so set on avoiding him, then Wonshik would take it upon himself to try and change that.

“Uh… Hey.” Wonshik started and immediately felt stupid. He could have started with something a little better - maybe open the conversation with a joke?

Too late. Hongbin was already looking up at him, blinking questioningly. “Hey?”

“Did— You— Have—” Wonshik babbled, groaning after the third attempt of getting his words out, until he finally settled on, “Are we good?”

Hongbin quirked an eyebrow, retrieving the item he’d been looking for inside his bag - which turned out to be his wineskin - and got back on his feet, eyes not leaving Wonshik for a second. “Yes. Why?”

“You— I just feel like you’ve been avoiding me.” Wonshik choose to go straight to the point; he’d already proved that his talking ability was not at its best that day, he didn’t want to make it worse. “Ever since that night at the chantry, you have been… Distant.”

Hongbin narrowed his eyes for a moment, assessing. “Isn’t this what you wanted, though? For me to back off?”

Wonshik was taken aback by that. “I— I don’t know. I thought we had reached a middle ground.”

Hongbin rolled his shoulder, nonchalant. “I suppose. And I wasn’t avoiding you. Not truly.”

“Oh?”

“I was— I was trying to give you space.”

Wonshik felt like he’d been struck dumb. “Give me space?”

“Yes.” Hongbin replied, tone biting. “Contrary to what most people think, I do have a heart.”

“You two coming or what?” Came Hakyeon’s voice, interrupting what was slowly building up to be a much more emotional conversation than what Wonshik had expected. He wasn’t sure he was glad for the respite or if he wanted to wring Hakyeon’s long neck.

“Ever heard of waiting, Yeonie?” Hongbin threw back, glancing at Wonshik one last time before moving to sit with the others.

“Taekwoon, get down from there before you fall and break something, we don’t have a healer.” Hakyeon said to Taekwoon, who blinked slowly down at him and dropped down from his tree branch, settling down next to Hakyeon. “And yes, Binnie, I’ve heard of waiting, but this is not brunch at the royal gardens, we’re in a bit of a hurry.”

“Someone’s grumpy.” Hongbin teased in a singsong voice. “What’s the matter, Yeonie, didn’t sleep well last night?”

For some reason, the question caused Hakyeon’s cheeks to pinken. “I slept fine! Like a baby!”

“If you say so.”

Wonshik decided it was best not to ask and simply moved to sit next to Taekwoon, which put him between the Dalish and Hongbin. 

“I like it here.” Sanghyuk commented once all of them were sitting down and eating, his face tipped up at the sky as he watched the clouds float above through the canopy of trees. “It’s pretty, and it’s quiet, and nobody attacked us yet.”

Hakyeon snorted. “Now you jinxed it, now someone is going to jump out from behind a tree and mug the shit out of us.”

“Why would someone want to mug us for shit?” Hongbin asked with a throaty laugh.

“Underground crap market?” Sanghyuk threw back and the group descended into juvenile snickering.

“Well, underground crap market or no, we should move on soon.” Wonshik said after they had regained some composure. “Those people are still after us and I don’t want to put Chansik and Sunwoo in danger by staying in Hunter Fell too long. We should start thinking where to go next.”

“I think we should go to Perendale meet Jaehwan.” Sanghyuk said, chewing on a large bite he’d taken from his jam sandwich.

“And I think that would be a dumb risk for us to take.” Hakyeon mused, offering Taekwoon a biscuit. Taekwoon ate it straight from Hakyeon’s hand like it was the most natural thing in the world and Hakyeon blushed, but managed to keep the rest of his reactions contained - Wonshik wagered it would have been something close to a high pitched squeal. “I understand you’re worried about him, but going after him might put the cultists on his trail. Besides, we don’t know what he’ll find in there, if he finds anything at all; going after him could be a waste of time if it turns out we need to go the opposite way.”

“I’ve been thinking that, maybe…  _ Maybe _ we should go to Tevinter.” Hongbin said, and the others stared at him in shock. “We do need more information, and where would we find out more about a god from ancient Tevinter other than Tevinter itself?”

“But how could we go all the way to Tevinter like this? We’d be sitting ducks for slavers.” Sanghyuk pointed out. “And both you and Taekwoon would be in the most danger, since you’re elves.”

Hakyeon jerked and put one hand on Taekwoon’s arm to then, after noticing what he’d done, quickly pull his hand back as if he’d burned it, focusing on his food again and not saying a word. Taekwoon was just quietly eating the entire time and didn’t even seem to have noticed.

“And we would have to travel all the way to Minrathous for their archives and that’s almost an entire month’s journey.” Wonshik pointed out wisely. “We could reach Weisshaupt in half the time it would take for us to get to Minrathous.”

“The trip to Weisshaupt would be awful, though.” Sanghyuk made a face. “Like, butthole chafing awful, and I mean that literally because it’s in the middle of a desert. Imagine all the sand.”

They shuddered collectively at the thought. All except Taekwoon, who was - surprise, surprise - still stuffing his face with food.

“We would do well finding the Grey Wardens, though.” Wonshik scratched his chin thoughtfully. “If anyone has knowledge of Archdemons and Old Gods, it should be the Wardens.”

“I hear the Wardens actually know where all the Old Gods are.” Hongbin added, brows knitted together in deep thought. “They just can’t get to them to kill them before they turn into Archdemons because they’re too deep underground in the Deep Roads, and there’s too many darkspawn for them to get down there.”

“Even if they know about this God of Dreams, I don’t think the Wardens would just share the locations with us, though.” Sanghyuk said, taking a sip of wine from his cantil.

“Maybe, maybe not.” Wonshik began, slowly, and Hongbin looked at him with a knowing look on his face, the look he usually wore when he knew Wonshik was about to say something that would get them into trouble. Or something very stupid. Either. “But the Deep Roads sound like a good a place as any to continue searching.”

“...You’re joking, right?” Hakyeon had his eyes narrowed at Wonshik. “You want us to go… To the Deep Roads?”

“Yes, that’s what I’m saying.”

“Assuming we could locate an entrance to the Deep Roads, how would we even begin to find our way once we’re there?” Sanghyuk seemed as alarmed as Hakyeon. “The Deep Roads are an unkempt, crumbling, shitty underground maze that keeps changing and there’s nobody there but darkspawn to keep track of which passages still work and which ones don’t.”

“We would need a map, of course.” Wonshik continued, sounding far too serious for any of his companions’ liking. “And Kal Sharok is about two weeks away from here.”

“And now you want to go to Kal fucking Sharok?” Sanghyuk’s eyes were wide as saucers. “Did Hongbin knock you in the head while we weren’t looking!?”

“Of course not, he’s too pretty for me to aim at his head.” Hongbin replied, breezy, and Wonshik made a garbled noise that sounded wholly inhuman. Hongbin giggled, reaching out a hand to pinch one of Wonshik’s cheeks. “Aw, look at this precious face.”

“Can we not?” Wonshik spluttered, leaning so far away from Hongbin’s fingers he almost fell on top of Taekwoon’s lap. Taekwoon leaned away in turn, causing him to knock against Hakyeon’s side. “I’m trying to make an important point here!”

“Fine, make your point.” Hongbin sighed and pulled his hand away, going back to his food.

“Thank you.” Wonshik cleared his throat and sat upright again. Taekwoon continued to lean on Hakyeon. “Like I was saying, Kal Sharok could provide us with some answers. They would have maps of the Deep Roads and at least some knowledge of what’s in there.”

“Assuming they would even let us  _ in _ , do you really think the dwarves of Kal Sharok would just give us the information we need for free?” Sanghyuk still seemed baffled at the notion. “Those dwarves are batshit crazy, they rarely ever make dealings with outsiders. Our chances of getting captured and killed are actually higher than if we decided to go to Minrathous.

“It’s going to be dangerous no matter where we decide to go.” Wonshik argued. “We will have to go to the Deep Roads at some point, that’s where all the Old Gods are and I don’t see why it would be any different with this Dragon of Dreams. Kal Sharok is the closest dwarven city and our best bet to find maps of the Deep Roads, and yes, it’ll be dangerous and we’ll likely get ourselves into more trouble, but what else can we do?”

There was a long beat of silence after Wonshik’s words, all of them with their eyes low and turned inwards to their own thoughts. Wonshik himself wasn’t sure of his suggestion - he didn’t know anything about Kal Sharok and its elusive dwellers. He didn’t know anything about Minrathous either, only that there were slavers and evil magisters there, but— They would have to go  _ somewhere _ .

“We really are running out of options, aren’t we?” Hakyeon mumbled almost as if reading Wonshik’s thoughts, plucking grass blades idly with his fingertips. “Like a bunch of headless chickens running straight to the furnace.”

“That’s us.” Sanghyuk quipped, but with no true humor behind the words. Then, completely serious, Sanghyuk continued. “What about… What about Jaehwan?”

“What about Jaehwan?” Hakyeon echoed, gentle, prompting Sanghyuk to elaborate.

“If we go to Kal Sharok…” Sanghyuk started but trailed off, hesitating. They gave him the space to gather his thoughts, to find it in him to voice his concerns. “If we go to Kal Sharok, or Minrathous, or wherever else, how will Jaehwan find us if he decides to come back?”

“He’ll know.” Taekwoon spoke for the first time during the entire conversation, a certainty in his voice that left little room for doubt he knew what he was saying was true.

“How will he know?” Sanghyuk blinked up at the Dalish, eyes pleading. Taekwoon only stared back at him, a sharpness in his feline eyes that spoke of confidence.

“He just will.” Taekwoon said. “We should, however, wait for Jaehwan to accomplish the task he set out to do. He might discover something that will tell us, with more certainty, where to go.”

“Taekwoon’s right.” Hakyeon said, a small sigh escaping his lips. “We need to give Jaehwan a chance, otherwise he went all the way to Perendale for nothing.”

Sanghyuk pursed his lips, obviously struggling with the idea of leaving Jaehwan alone for so long, but Wonshik understood where Taekwoon and Hakyeon were coming from - and he agreed. He was antsy about the whole situation, wanted to keep moving. Staying in the same area for long would just make it that much easier for the cultists to find them; his idea of going to the Deep Roads, despite being valid, was brought on by a sense of urgency. They  _ had _ to keep moving.

Glancing over at Hongbin, he found the elf eating his bread seemingly without a care in the world, and had to ask himself if Hongbin was truly not worried about their situation or if he was just  _ that _ good at hiding his emotions.

“And what if this God of Dreams is not in the Deep Roads?” Hakyeon asked, sudden, all eyes turning to him. “It’s true that the Olds Gods are all somewhere in the Deep Roads, but this is— It’s not like the others. You heard what Heechul said about it being ‘the dragon of dragons’ or something. What if it’s somewhere else? Somewhere beyond the darkspawn’s reach?”

“Honestly? If we don’t have to go to Deep Roads at all I’ll count it as a win.” Sanghyuk said. “Anywhere is better than the Deep Roads.”

“Oh? Ever been there?” Hongbin asked.

Sanghyuk smiled, a youthful, mischievous little thing. “Not ever.”

Hongbin, for all he was always at odds with the young monarch, snorted at the reply. “Let’s hope we can keep it that way. I, for one,  _ have _ been there. It sucks.”

Wonshik’s eyebrows shot with surprise and interest. “You have? What is it like?”

Hongbin grimaced, presumably, at the memory. “It’s dark, it’s claustrophobic, it’s damp and it’s full of deepstalkers. Ever been bit a by deepstalker? They’re tiny but their bites  _ fucking hurt _ .”

“Thank the Maker I wasn’t there for this particular adventure of yours.” Hakyeon airily said, giving Taekwoon another biscuit. This time, the Dalish took it from Hakyeon properly before eating it.

“When were you at the Deep Roads?” Wonshik continued with his line of questioning. Hongbin looked at him for a second, and something in his eyes told Wonshik the elf was pleased with the interest.

“Right after the Blight. You see, after a Blight, there is a small window of time when the Deep Roads are not as full of darkspawn as usual, since they’re all— Well, up here.” Hongbin explained. “I joined some Orlesians in this expedition to retrieve some long lost treasure or whatever.”

“Did they find any treasure?” Sanghyuk asked, tossing the last piece of his jam sandwich into his mouth.

“They did. They didn’t want to give me any of it, though.”

“That’s very unfair.” Hakyeon looked as offended as he sounded.

Hongbin gave him a one shouldered shrug. “It was very unfair. I suppose I got even after I killed them and took all their stuff.”

An awkward silence fell over the group at Hongbin’s words. Hongbin looked from one to the other before huffing.

“It’s a joke, you prudes. I didn’t kill them.”

“Oh, thank the Maker.” Hakyeon breathed out a sigh of relief.

“...But I  _ did _ steal all their stuff.”

Wonshik chuckled, fondness swelling in his chest. If it were anyone else he would likely feel mortified and give them an earful - he was a guard, he was supposed to be against such things as thievery - but it was Hongbin. Hongbin made thievery look… Well. Cute.

“Speaking of which,” Hongbin continued, “Wonshik and Sanghyuk sort of suck in a fight against dagger-wielding opponents.”

“How is that related!?” Sanghyuk gasped with indignance.

“Sorry, but— Hongbin’s right, you two suck against daggers.” Hakyeon agreed, Taekwoon nodding enthusiastically next to him.

That was way less cute, in Wonshik’s opinion.

“I propose we start sparring as we travel, to keep ourselves sharp and give you two losers some pointers.” Hongbin daintily took a sip from his wineskin.

“We’re not  _ that _ bad—”

“You are.” Hongbin interrupted Wonshik before he could finish the sentence. “You’re too slow. You weren’t trained to fight fast opponents, you were trained with— I don’t know, honor and rules or some crap like that. Honor and rules don’t really mix with survival, in the end.”

“As much as I hate to admit, you really do have to fight dirty sometimes. You don’t always get a choice.” Said Hakyeon.

“Mm.” Hongbin hummed, a smirk playing on his lips as he side-eyed Wonshik. “I  _ do _ want to see Shik getting down and dirty.”

Wonshik’s entire face burned up with embarrassment with the sultry way Hongbin had spoken and he quickly lowered his head to hide it from the others, who were now laughing and hooting teasingly. Not cute. So not cute.

 

✶✶✶

 

It appeared he wouldn’t be going to meet Jaehwan after all. Sanghyuk had hoped his companions would jump at the chance of getting a move on, of going to meet their only mage - a  _ healer _ , something they certainly needed - and hiding his disappointment throughout the day was not an easy feat. Everyday that went by without Jaehwan, Sanghyuk became more and more anxious. What if something went wrong? What if Jaehwan needed him and he wasn’t there? It was driving him mad.

Taekwoon was trying to keep them all updated, promising Jaehwan was fine and about two days away from Perendale, but it wasn’t enough. Sanghyuk would only be satisfied once he saw Jaehwan standing right before his eyes, alive and unharmed, smiling that adorable lopsided smile of his.

The others were all getting ready to sleep, looking around the clearing to find good spots for their bedrolls, but Sanghyuk had drawn the shortest stick and thus was chosen to keep first watch. Hakyeon had been worried, for he knew Sanghyuk wasn’t sleeping very well the past few days, but Sanghyuk insisted he was alright - he didn’t think he’d be getting much sleep anyway. Might as well keep watch and let the others rest.

His body didn’t agree with his line of thinking, though. He felt like he was about to drop, the fatigue from the stress and all the traveling he’d been doing getting to him like a heavy boulder to the head. Maybe he should take Hakyeon up on his offer and let him keep watch in his stead, certainly Hakyeon would understand. He just needed about an hour of sleep to recharge and he’d be fine. Yes, it was all he needed, he thought as he gave the biggest yawn of his life.

“Hey kid, you ok?” Hongbin’s voice made Sanghyuk raise his head to regard him, blinking away the bleariness from his eyes after his massive yawn. “You don’t look too fresh.”

“I’m fine. Just tired.” Sanghyuk replied and shook his head to spook away the sleep.

“Thought so. Here.” Hongbin stretched out a hand to him, offering a wooden cup with a steamy, fragrant liquid inside. “It’s a tea to help you sleep.” Sanghyuk raised an eyebrow in a silent question, and Hongbin rolled his eyes. “It’s not poison, you really think I’d off you in front of all the witnesses?” Hongbin motioned to their surroundings, to Hakyeon, Wonshik and Taekwoon. “I noticed you’ve been sleeping like crap. You can think of this as me trying to be nice, so take the tea and go to sleep, I’ll keep watch in your place.”

“I— Alright. Thank you.” Sanghyuk was struck dumb at Hongbin’s sudden act of charity, but decided to accept the gesture in a sign of good faith; Jaehwan had warned him not to trust that elf, but so far Hongbin hadn’t done anything other than be a snarky asswipe at times. Yes, he was entirely aware of Hongbin’s capacity to do damage and enjoy every second of it, but this— It seemed innocent enough.

So Sanghyuk took a deep breath and downed the tea in one go, glad that it wasn’t hot enough to burn his internal organs. He grimaced at the bitter aftertaste it left on his mouth, whatever the herb Hongbin had used leaving the most distinctive taste of grass on his tongue.

“Eurgh, what is this?”

“This is something I learned in Orlais. There are many members of the Orlesian court who have trouble sleeping, so they drink this tea and sleep like babies all through the night.” Hongbin explained. “It’s a concoction of a few different herbs - in fact, it can be quite potent and knock someone out for several hours depending on the dosage. It’s almost instantaneous if the herbs are ground into a powder.” Hongbin continued on, taking the empty cup from Sanghyuk’s hand. “The one I gave you is pretty weak, but it’ll do the job.”

“How come you just  _ happened _ to have this?” Sanghyuk felt the need to ask.

Hongbin stared at the bottom of the cup for a moment. “I have trouble sleeping sometimes, too.”

Now  _ that _ Sanghyuk hadn’t been expecting. “Oh. I see.”

“Let me know if you ever need more. I have plenty and the herbs are easy to acquire if my stores start running low.”

“I will. Thank you, Hongbin.”

“Don’t mention it.” Hongbin sighed, looking around so he wouldn’t have to make eye contact with Sanghyuk. “You should go to bed, this thing acts fast.”

“Yeah, I will.” Sanghyuk nodded jerkily and got to his feet. “Thanks again.”

“Anytime, kid.” Hongbin gave him a tight lipped smile.

“I’m not a kid!” Sanghyuk whined as he moved to get his bedroll ready, Hongbin settling down where he’d been sitting, laughing at his little outburst.

It was a small action, yes, but Sanghyuk still rather thought it was one very big step in the right direction.

 

✶✶✶

 

It was the deck of his old ship this time, yet another familiar scenery, nostalgic and filled with many memories of different times. There was nobody around at that moment, the entire ship completely empty and his old crew nowhere in sight. It was just him, his ship and the open ocean, blue as far as the eye could see.

Hakyeon was dreaming again, and he found that it was fine. He was glad to be enjoying it again, the sense of freedom the open water could bring, possibilities waiting for him no matter which direction he decided to go. Dream or not, he would enjoy it.

Closing his eyes, Hakyeon focused only on the gentle sway of the ship following the ocean waves, the cries of seagulls, the wind, the sun. Freedom. Boundless, limitless. Wonderful, wonderful freedom.

He let the sway guide him, let the waves set the tone, and moved. It was his dream, he could dance if he wanted to - and the ocean had always been his primary source of inspiration, one of the things that always rang in the back of his mind like a clear bell, what gave him direction when he was lost. The ocean had been part of every choreography, every move, every step. Deep and mysterious, beautiful and terrifying, familiar and unexplored. The ocean was everything, had everything.

It certainly had Hakyeon’s heart.

So he moved, feet following the rhythm set by the waves and the song he could only hear in his mind, the deck of his old ship a stage and the seagulls his audience. He used to dance a lot on his ship - the smooth floorboards of the wide deck had always been a rather acceptable dance floor, and his crew were supportive of his passion. Some of them even joined in. He laughed to himself, memories of the good times spent with his old crew, his friends, bubbling up and making him feel fuzzy, giddy. That was a good dream. That was a great dream.

He kept on dancing, movements wide, ample, fingertips reaching out as far as they would go, up and up and up, skyward. Not even when that familiar presence hit him did he stop dancing; on the contrary, it only made him dance with that much more enthusiasm, the audience of a person who could appreciate his craft much better than those of seagulls who likely only cared if he had a snack to offer them.

And— It was Taekwoon. Hakyeon was slowly learning that he liked Taekwoon’s eyes on him, that he enjoyed the attention of that so very mysterious and alluring elf, with his secrets and half words and shy smiles. And he remembered, very clearly, Taekwoon complimenting him for his dancing skills.  _ Like nothing he’d ever seen before _ , he said.

There was just something about Taekwoon. A pull. Like something in Hakyeon’s very core automatically gravitated towards the elf, something that didn’t dwindle even in dreams. It was not something he could understand - he wasn’t even sure he wanted to - but something he gladly acknowledged as being real, something that was  _ there _ . He couldn’t ignore it, couldn’t pretend it wasn’t there when every fiber of his being was screaming at him the exact opposite. And Taekwoon— 

_ I will never repay your kindness with anything that could do you harm. _

His voice echoed so clearly in Hakyeon’s mind, the soft cadence, the raspiness brought on by the lack of use of his vocal chords, how gentle and small he sounded. He called Hakyeon kind, but Taekwoon was also kind - he could be an absolute brat at times, yes, but he’d never done any of them any harm. Even when they were all after him for stealing the jewel, Taekwoon never hurt them. Never raised his weapons at them if not for his own defense.

Taekwoon was— Lovely. Lovable. It made no sense to Hakyeon that someone like Taekwoon could be alone, like people could meet someone so sweet and turn him away. Secrets or no, demon ravens or no, Taekwoon deserved so much more in life, so much more affection and acceptance than he was getting, he deserved so much  _ love _ .

Hakyeon began to slow down his movements until stopping completely, and soon the sound of applause - or rather, one person clapping - somewhere behind him reached his ears. He turned to find Taekwoon sitting on the floor by the main mast, legs crossed and expression full of wonder, like a child seeing fireworks for the first time. Had Taekwoon ever seen fireworks? Unlikely. He wanted to see his reaction to that, someday.

Grinning from ear to ear with pride, Hakyeon bowed exaggeratedly at his one-person-audience, and Taekwoon giggled, delighted with the joke. Hakyeon liked that sound. He liked that sound a lot.

“I’ll prepare a proper choreography next time.” Hakyeon said in the way of a greeting, and Taekwoon’s eyes went wide.

“That— That wasn’t a choreography?”

Hakyeon chuckled and shook his head, eyeing the elf fondly. “No. That was just me improvising.”

“O-oh.” Taekwoon lowered his gaze, pale cheeks becoming pink and the tip of his tongue darting out to lick his bottom lip. “It was— It was very good.”

“Thanks.” Hakyeon beamed proudly, and then, having a sudden idea, approached Taekwoon. It was his dream. He didn’t have to hold back in his own dream. “Come here, I’ll teach you.”

Taekwoon jolted back, and Hakyeon could see the effort he was making not to jump overboard into the sea to escape. “I c-can’t dance.”

“If you can walk, you can dance.” Hakyeon said sagely, grabbing Taekwoon by the hands and pulling him up on his feet. Taekwoon stood up awkwardly, shoulders hunched in what Hakyeon was learning was one of his many defense mechanisms, dark eyes watching Hakyeon warily from behind the loose strands of his messy long hair. He looked like a small woodland creature caught by a predator; Hakyeon wanted to pick him up and pet his hair. “I promise I’ll go easy on you, we’ll do it together.”

Taekwoon twisted his lips, uncertain, nervous. “You won’t laugh?”

“Of course I won’t laugh, you silly kitty.” Hakyeon poked the tip of the elf’s nose with the tip of his index finger, making Taekwoon scrunch his nose and blush even harder. So cute. “Come on, it’ll be fun! I’ll teach you how to waltz, it’s really easy.”

“Waltz?” Taekwoon echoed, voice a pitch higher than usual. “B-but isn’t that… Isn’t that a dance for couples?”

“It’s a dance for pairs, yes, and we are two people, therefore a pair.” Hakyeon teased and tugged on Taekwoon hand. “Come on. Please?”

Taekwoon stared at him for a long moment, looking every bit like a sulky child, until finally giving in with a short nod. Hakyeon almost jumped around with excitement but managed to contain himself, guiding Taekwoon by the hand towards a more spacious area of the deck, only so they wouldn’t have to worry about twirling their way off the ship.

“Alright, put your hand on my waist.” Hakyeon said after stopping where he deemed a good enough spot, motioning towards his waist to illustrate.

Taekwoon jerked his hand away and craddled it against his chest. “Wh-what?”

Hakyeon clucked his tongue and forcefully pulled Taekwoon’s hand back, holding it against his waist. “My waist, just put your hand here.”

Taekwoon was very close to going from an elf to a tomato so red was his face. “B-but—”

“‘But’ my butt, it’s just a waist.” Hakyeon shook his head, smiling at Taekwoon. “You can rest your hand here instead of holding on to it, it’s ok.” It took a few seconds, but Taekwoon finally seemed to lose the fight against his need to escape, for he sighed and let his hand rest on Hakyeon’s waist, just above his hipbone. “Good, now hold my other hand like this— Shoulders straight.” Hakyeon explained as he adjusted Taekwoon’s position, his grip on his hand. “Try not to lower your elbow— Here,” Hakyeon motioned to the space between them, “you have your own space and I have mine. We don’t invade each other’s space, that way we have room to move comfortably.”

“That sounds like a lot to remember.” Taekwoon muttered, eyeing Hakyeon’s hand as it moved to rest on his shoulder.

“Once you get the hang of it you won’t even think about it.” Hakyeon promised, although it didn’t seem to convince Taekwoon.

“And if I don’t get the hang of it?”

“Then I’m here to remember it for you.” Hakyeon shot Taekwoon a soft smile, something he hoped was reassuring enough. “We’ll start moving now, I’ll go backwards. When I move my left foot back, you move your right foot forward.”

Taekwoon still looked unsure when they began, but slowly his stance relaxed some from the awkward stiffness he’d started on, and got even better after Hakyeon began to count out loud; for all that he was untrained, Taekwoon had a good sense of rhythm and he was surprisingly coordinated for someone with such long limbs. Maybe it was his subconscious making it so, but it all still felt so vivid, so real, that it was hard to imagine it any other way - if it turned out that Reality Taekwoon was an uncoordinated mess, Hakyeon would spend the rest of his life having an existential crisis.

The thought of dancing with Taekwoon while awake sent a shiver of excitement down his spine. Someday. Definitely.

It got easier and easier for Taekwoon to follow his lead as they glided across the deck, slow and awkward at first before they found their pace and comfort, Taekwoon now smiling bright and wide, and how beautiful it was to see him smile so openly, his expression genuinely happy. Hakyeon wanted to see it more times. He wanted to make sure he would see it more times.

“See? It’s fun, right?” Hakyeon asked through giddy giggles and Taekwoon nodded fervently to agree, his smile bright as the sun itself. “Dancing is no mystery. My mother always used to tell me, ‘ _ to dance is to follow your heartbeat wherever it takes you _ ’.”

Taekwoon blinked, curious. “What if takes you somewhere you shouldn’t go?”

“Like where?” 

Taekwoon shrugged, almost dislodging Hakyeon’s hand. “I don’t know. Somewhere— Somewhere you’re not welcome.”

“Where wouldn’t you be welcome?” Hakyeon frowned quizzically, still smiling as he searched Taekwoon’s expression. His eyes were intense as he looked back at him, a thousand words unsaid in their depths, but Taekwoon spoke none of those words and instead lowered his gaze to the ground. Hakyeon had the distinct impression he’d just missed something important. “Taekwoon?”

Taekwoon opened his mouth to reply but closed it again just as fast, uncertain, the grip he had on Hakyeon’s waist tightening the slightest bit. Hakyeon stopped dancing so he could give Taekwoon his full attention, and the elf took the cue and stopped as well after a small stumble.

“You said you trust me, right?” Hakyeon asked, gentle, and Taekwoon answered with a nod. “You  _ can _ trust me. You can tell me anything.”

Taekwoon licked his lips nervously, fidgeting where he stood. Hakyeon waited, patient, watching Taekwoon go through several different stages of indecision, back and forth between wanting to say what was bothering him and never saying a word again - Hakyeon hoped he wouldn’t choose the latter. He couldn’t bear the thought of Taekwoon going back to a life of silence, a life where he didn’t communicate with anyone, didn’t connect. He didn’t want Taekwoon to be alone anymore. He said he was fine with it, that he had accepted his way of life, but Hakyeon didn’t buy it for a second - he could see in Taekwoon’s eyes, hear it in his weak voice, that he longed for something more than what he had. That he wanted all the things he swore up and down he didn’t need.

And Hakyeon was discovering that he would gladly give Taekwoon anything. Everything.

At last, the elf seemed to reach a conclusion and bravely raised his eyes to meet Hakyeon’s, determination written on his features. Hakyeon held his breath expectantly, the moment so charged with  _ something _ he could feel goosebumps raising on his arms.

Taekwoon swallowed down his fear, the movement of his throat catching Hakyeon’s attention for a slip second, and then Taekwoon was grabbing his hands and looking into his eyes and suddenly it was all too much. Too real.

“Hakyeon.” Taekwoon said, his sweet voice even sweeter in Hakyeon’s ears. “Hakyeon, I—”

A loud  _ crack _ sound broke through the air and Hakyeon startled himself awake, looking around wildly in search of the source of the noise. He could hear rustling nearby, the shuffling of feet on leaves. An attack? Had the cultists found them?

A figure came walking from the woods into the clearing where they set up camp and Hakyeon squeaked with surprise, and the figure - who turned out to be Hongbin - stumbled back with fright at the unexpected sound and almost fell on his ass, one hand on his chest over his heart.

“What the— Maker’s balls, Hakyeonie, you almost gave me a coronary.” Hongbin gasped.

Hakyeon, taking a deep breath to reel in his surprise, answered, “ _ I _ almost gave you a coronary!? What are you doing sneaking around in the creepy dark woods at night by yourself?”

Hongbin huffed, shoulders lifting slightly in a nonchalant shrug. “I had to piss. Why, would you rather I’d done it on that tree next to you? ‘Cause I can take it into consideration next time.”

“Ew, gross.”

Hakyeon grimaced, running a hand through his mussed hair as he looked around their camp. Everyone was asleep - Wonshik snoring quite loudly, in fact -, including Taekwoon, who had his blanket pulled almost all the way up, only the upper half of his face visible. The dream was still fresh in his mind, the look in Taekwoon’s eyes, the temperature of his body so close to his own, the careful cadence of his voice. He felt like he’d been robbed of something, and now— Now he would never know what Taekwoon wanted to tell him, because what are the chances of having the same dream twice? Very small, practically nonexistent.

“What’s the matter, Yeonie?” Hongbin asked, moving around the camp to go sit back down where he’d been sitting earlier to continue his watch. “You look like someone just stole your favorite candy. Did I wake you in the middle of a wet dream with the Dalish wonder or something?”

Hakyeon made an indignant noise at Hongbin’s general direction, giving him the middle finger before pulling his blankets all the way up. Hongbin’s laughter was more than enough, his friend didn’t need to see the extent of Hakyeon’s embarrassment - it hadn’t been a wet dream, and if it  _ would _ turn into one, Hakyeon wouldn’t ever find out.

Best to close his eyes and try to get back to sleep.

 

✶

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> uuuh yes, so.
> 
> first of all, let me say how happy i am with all the love ch7 got last week, i've received so many comments and asks and nice messages, you guys turned me into a pile of goo all week and i'm so thankful to you all.♡♡♡
> 
> i honestly didn't expect the amount of love this story is getting, it's both humbling and mind boggling.
> 
> and i've been meeting a lot of cool new people through this, and one of them is chris (hi chris), who made this beautiful [reaver hyogi](https://idwimor.tumblr.com/post/177881044446/a-quick-reaver-hyuk-i-drew-for-ghostlike91-s) art (look at the boopy nose, the boopy nose always gets me) and wrote this #adorable [ficlet](https://archiveofourown.org/works/15944627) ~~that i shamelessly enabled them to write because i'm a shameless enabler~~ with a qunari hyuk stuck in a human sized tub ♡♡♡
> 
> regarding those milestone ideas, i've received a couple of suggestions and some people also told me the party banter idea was a good one, so Things might be coming. i currently don't have the time to work on any extras, unfortunately, but it's coming. eventually. if i manage to organize myself like a functional adult. yes. i'm still very open to suggestions, i love hearing your thoughts and headcanons and questions and everything else!! (and i went ahead and started doing aesthetics/moodboards for the individual characters even after i said i wouldn't because i'm a Liar, [here's hakyeon's](https://ghostlike91.tumblr.com/post/177957409509/watching-the-ships-dock-and-set-sail))
> 
> as always, thank you so so so much for all the kudos and comments and all the love this story's been getting ♡♡♡  
> any questions, suggestions, theories, headcanons and whatever else your heart desires to let me know, you can leave a comment here, or you can also find me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/ghostlike91) or on [tumblr](https://ghostlike91.tumblr.com) if you prefer to stay anonymous.  
> thank you if you've read this far, i hope you enjoyed this chapter!!♡


	9. Lathbora viran

✶

 

“So, what’ve you got?” Hongbin asked the moment Chansik opened the door for them, entering his friend’s home followed by his other companions.

Chansik gave him an unimpressed look, one eyebrow arched as if saying ‘ _really?_ ’. “Hello to you too, Hongbin.” Turning to the others with a much more amicable expression, he said, “Welcome back. I see Heechul didn’t kill anyone.”

“Heechul liked us very much, thank you.” Hakyeon said arrogantly as he walked in, followed by a scurrying Taekwoon that was more like his shadow than his own person at this point. Hakyeon didn’t seem to mind; then again, Hongbin was pretty sure Hakyeon wouldn’t have it any other way.

“Yeah, he even gave us cake.” Sanghyuk entered next, and Wonshik closed the procession.

“And he said I’m smart.” He added just as Chansik closed the door behind them.

“What a miracle, Heechul is not usually so friendly. Last time I saw him, he set Sunwoo’s cape on fire.” He paused before saying, “Although, Sunwoo did say his house smelled a bit like cat piss.”

“It did! He was completely irrational.” Sunwoo argued from where he was sitting in the living room.

Taekwoon whispered something near Hakyeon’s ear, who flinched with surprise before relaying the question. “Heechul has a cat? We didn’t see any cats.”

“He does, a big grey monster.” Sunwoo shuddered.

Chansik rolled his eyes. “Heebum is not a monster, but Heechul threw him at you. He just got scared and scratched your entire face, it’s not his fault his owner’s insane.”

Taekwoon nodded fervently to agree with Chansik, and before they could continue that pointless argument, Hongbin decided to cut it short. “Chansik. Info?”

“Fine, fine, Maker’s holy scrotum, calm down and take a seat.”

Chansik motioned impatiently at the couch, where Hongbin gladly sat down, followed by Hakyeon and, of course, Taekwoon. Wonshik and Sanghyuk sat down on the floor near the lit fireplace, while Chansik went to sit on the arm of the armchair where Sunwoo was currently slouching.

“We did a little digging, as much as we could without raising any alarms.” Chansik began. “There’s not much out there to discover about these people, especially not in a few days, but they _do_ originate in Tevinter. It seems to be a cult that existed for a long time now.”

“A long time? How long long, exactly?” Hakyeon asked, leaning forward on his seat to be able to look at Chansik better.

“About a couple thousand centuries, we’re not so sure on that.” Chansik answered. “It’s been long enough to spread around, though. There are branches of this cult in Tevinter, the Anderfels, Nevarra and the Free Marches. I wouldn’t be surprised if they were lurking around southern Thedas as well.”

“That’s not very encouraging.” Wonshik grumbled.

“Is there anything else?” Hongbin asked, eager.

“Just that the leader is someone who calls themselves The Harbinger. Sorta lame, if you ask me.”

“That’s all?” Hongbin deflated a little. “You didn’t find out any identities, headquarters, goals? Anything at all?”

Chansik gave Hongbin a helpless shrug in response. “I’m sorry, Bin. I did say it wasn’t much.”

“We can keep searching and send you reports, if you want.” Sunwoo offered, and Hongbin could see how he would be happy to help them out with their problem, but they had done enough already. He didn’t want his friends getting deeper into that mess than they already were. They were good at what they did, and if they kept digging they would eventually unearth something bad - or good, depending on the point of view. Being privy to important information always put one in danger.

“No, it’s alright. We’ll figure it out.” Hongbin smiled at the pair. “Thanks for trying.”

“Yeah, you’ve done the best you could, it’s already more information than we had.” Hakyeon agreed with a smile of his own, and Hongbin remembered the last advice given by Heechul.

“Oh, by the way, do you happen do know where Toth was slain?”

“Toth? The Archdemon of the Third Blight?” Chansik asked as if he needed confirmation. Hongbin only nodded in response. “It was right outside the northwestern gates. There used to be another part of the city there, but it was destroyed so badly they decided to just tear it all down.”

“Why do you want to go there, though?” Sunwoo grimaced. “It’s just a big empty field of dead grass.”

“Heechul hinted that there might be something there.” Hongbin said. “Unless there’s some sort of archives here in Hunter Fell that I don’t know about detailing how to kill an Archdemon or whatever it is Heechul wants us to find.”

Sunwoo snorted. “Definitely no archives, this is Hunter Fell, not Cumberland. We have smoked trout fresh from the Minanter if it tickles your fancy, but definitely no archives.”

Taekwoon whispered something on Hakyeon’s ear again, and, sighing, Hakyeon said to him, “We can get you smoked trout when we go out later.”

Taekwoon gave Hakyeon a closed lipped smile in a show of his appreciation, and Hongbin almost cringed at the way Hakyeon looked at the Dalish Wonder. All… Fond and soft and gross. Ew.

Hongbin knew he shouldn’t judge them too much as that was likely the same way he looked at Wonshik, but still - he at least had the decency to look at Wonshik like that when he knew nobody else was watching.

Just as the thought crossed his head, his eyes were automatically drawn to Wonshik, sitting by the fireplace, helping Sanghyuk with a persistent knot on his traveling cape that prevented him from taking it off. Wonshik was smiling. He’d always loved Wonshik’s smile, the way it never failed to light up his eyes. He loved his laughter too, that booming, ridiculous _hahaha_ that had the effect of making Hongbin himself smile along.

He was tired of being at odds with Wonshik. He was tired of walking on eggshells, tired of trading barbs, defending himself, tired of going against his very instincts and running around playing tag when all he wanted to do was drop all pretense and just— Just get Wonshik back.

Hongbin was a patient person, to an extent - he wasn’t made of stone, didn’t have an endless supply of Wait It Out pills. He was a more proactive person, didn’t like to sit around and wait for the universe to align itself and drop everything on his lap. That was unrealistic and a waste of time; Hongbin had learned a long time ago that time was far more valuable than gold, that wasting time had worst consequences than wasting money. With the jewel and the cultists and everything else going on, time was precious currency. He’d given Wonshik time to mourn, to grief for his friend, and he’d given himself time to adjust to the new order of things, but he didn’t have time to keep giving. There was no time.

Time.

Time was running out.

Time to drop the act and listen to his instincts.

 

✶✶✶

 

“The Third Blight began in 3:10 Towers.” Sanghyuk read aloud from the History book Chansik managed to find for them, his expression one that spoke of excitement. “The Old God of Fire, Toth, awoke in central Thedas and the darkspawn swarmed the cities of southern Tevinter and northern Orlais in greater numbers than ever before.”

Sanghyuk wasn’t the only one who appeared to be in high spirits. Hakyeon was also in a good mood, humming an old song under his breath as they walked, and Taekwoon looked pleased as punch after Hakyeon made good on his promise of buying him smoked trout - he was still nibbling on the now bare stick that once held the fish, as if trying to eat away all the taste left behind.

Hongbin, on the other hand, was quiet, pensive, eyes fixed on the ground watching his own feet moving. Wonshik wasn’t sure he wanted to know what was going on inside his head.

And Wonshik himself was— Fine. Normal. Pretty neutral about the whole thing. It was a sunny day, if a little chilly, the sky bright blue with a few white clouds lazily rolling by from time to time - a good day for a field trip, indeed.

“The Grey Wardens were fast to organize a defense and managed to push the invading darkspawn back despite the heavy losses. The most significant battles of the Third Blight were massive in scope, which set this one apart from the previous Blights.” Sanghyuk continued reading animatedly as they crossed the northwestern gates of Hunter Fell. “The darkspawn then moved east to the Free Marches, easily overpowering the unprepared city-estates along the Minanter River. Orlais and Tevinter focused their efforts in rebuilding their destroyed lands, but caved in and send aid to the war effort due to Grey Warden pressure.”

“Trust Tevinter and Orlais to be unreliable egocentric assholes.” Hongbin snided without raising his head, the grass beneath their feet going from green to a yellowed brown the farther they moved from the gates.

“In 3:25 Towers, fifteen years after the beginning of the Blight, the combined forces of the Grey Wardens, the Orlesian Empire and the Tevinter Imperium met the darkspawn horde in Hunter Fell - that’s here! - in what has since become known as one of the bloodiest battles in history. It is said that the darkspawn corpses were piled as high as a hundred feet, their remains then set on fire.”

“Gross.” Hakyeon smartly said.

“The Blight ended with the death of the Archdemon, blablabla, some nonsense about some cursed daggers—” Sanghyuk skimmed the contents of the page before closing the book with a loud _smack_ and looking up at their surroundings. “And this is where all the magic happened.”

They all stopped side by side and looked around like curious children, only to deflate little by little as they realized that— There was nothing there. Just a big empty field of dead grass, exactly like what Sunwoo described. It seemed pretty useless for anyone who wasn’t a dog, because a dog would absolutely _love_ to run free there and play fetch. Maybe he should get a dog after all that was over. He would name him Butt. He would take the dog out on patrols with him.

And he was getting sidetracked, because his thoughts were far more interesting than— _That_. That big fat pile of absolutely nothing.

“Who wants to go all the way back to Heechul’s house to kick his ass?” Hongbin asked, a little bit _too_ serious for his words to be considered a joke.

“I’m— I’m sure there’s _something_ here, he wouldn’t have mentioned if there was nothing.” Hakyeon said, trying to sound positive when it was written on his face how disappointed he was.

“I don’t know, he seems like the type who enjoys playing pranks on people. His boyfriend too.” Sanghyuk said. “And if we had met his cat, the cat would have pranked us as well.”

“Leave the cat out of this.” Taekwoon muttered - whined, more like - and Hakyeon gently shushed him and said something akin to ‘not the point’.

Before Taekwoon could even consider arguing, Deceit materialized on his shoulder and cawed loud and shrill, causing Taekwoon to flinch, before it flew off towards somewhere on the middle of the field. They, of course, took off running after the raven like a band of maniacs, their feet falling heavily on the ground in a steady _thud thud thud_. It was good there was nobody around to witness that, five grown men running after a bird. Not Wonshik’s proudest moment, that.

Deceit didn’t go far, though; it stopped around the middle of the field, landing on a darker patch of land, bare of grass, only dark, dry dirt. Wonshik was expecting it to start digging at the dirt with its beak, but Deceit just— Sat there. Doing nothing.

“What is it, Deceit?” Taekwoon asked, hoping his demon bird would do - say? - something, but the raven just cawed at him and continued to do nothing. In fact, it began grooming its feathers, unbothered.

“That’s very anti-climatic.” Hongbin helpfully pointed out. “Isn’t your creepy bird supposed to be a little more helpful?”

“It usually is.” Taekwoon was frowning at the bird, looking as confused as everyone else.

“Wait.” Sanghyuk said, eyes narrowed at the patch of dirt. “If you squint and turn your head a little, doesn’t it vaguely look like a dragon?”

As if they had rehearsed, all of them squinted and tilted their heads to the left in perfect synchronization, analyzing that massive patch of dirt with an amount of scrutiny that was, perhaps, excessive. And— Alright, maybe Wonshik could something there, a shape that could resemble a dragon, but it still felt a bit like a stretch.

“I _think_ I see it.” Hakyeon said and pointed to one end of the patch. “That looks like a head.”

“Sure it’s not the tail?” Hongbin’s eyes were squinted almost closed.

“What kind of tail has horns?”

“A dragon’s tail, apparently.” Realization suddenly rained down on Hongbin, for he snapped his fingers and said, “Oh! That’s right, the dragon would be standing when it was killed, if you use that logic then it really does look like a dragon but its legs, belly and tail.”

“Oh, now I see it!” Hakyeon pointed at the dirt patch like an excited kid. Wonshik pretend not to see the completely smitten way Taekwoon was looking at Hakyeon.

“Yeah, good catch, Hongbin.” Wonshik said, and Hongbin turned to look at him with surprise in his eyes, surprise that soon turned into a sheepish grin.

And now Taekwoon wasn’t the only one staring at someone while being completely smitten anymore.

Wonshik had to tear his gaze away from Hongbin. Hongbin was— So beautiful. More beautiful than Hongbin realized himself. It wasn’t just his physical beauty, it wasn’t that he was like a gorgeous marble statue one could stare at for hours, marvelling at its perfection, it was— It was Hongbin. Hongbin was beautiful. And when he smiled, not that dagger sharp, maniacal grin he sometimes wore to intimidate and scare, but the genuine, real smiles, like the bashful little thing he’d just flashed Wonshik’s way - that’s when he was the most beautiful. Hongbin, smiling, happy, honest.

Maker, if Jimin was watching him from whatever higher dimension she now resided in, she would likely be calling him a big dork and throwing peanuts down at him, like that time he went with his little sister watch a puppet show on the main square in Nevarra City and the thing was so terrible the crowd began booing and throwing edibles at the poor puppets. And the puppeteers, by proxy.

He even looked up just to check no peanuts would start falling from the sky.

“It makes sense, since Archdemons are supposed to be Taint on wings.” Sanghyuk mused, breaking Wonshik away from his Hongbin and sky peanuts reverie. “When an Archdemon dies, I suppose there must be some serious magical reaction to it. It kills the Warden who deals the killing blow, right?”

“Rumor has it.” Hakyeon confirmed. Sort of.

“It must be the taint, then. The ground looks like this because it’s tainted.” Sanghyuk concluded.

Everyone simultaneously took a step away from the dirt patch.

“Deceit, get out of there.” Taekwoon said to the bird, but the demon ignored him. “Deceit!”

“Eh, leave it. I don’t think demons can be tainted.” Hakyeon gave Taekwoon a small pat on the arm.

“If Deceit doesn’t move, we’ll probably find out.” Hongbin helpfully added, getting a glare from Hakyeon in response.

“There must be something here that can help us, Heechul can’t have given us this hint if he didn’t know _something_ was here.” Wonshik said as he ran a hand through his hair, frustrated.

“Maybe it’s buried?” Sanghyuk suggested, and Taekwoon promptly crouched down and began digging out little bits of dirt with the tip of his bare smoked trout stick.

Hakyeon chuckled and gently pulled the elf upright again, “Don’t touch that, silly.”

“Why do you talk to him like he’s a baby?” Hongbin questioned, expression judgemental as he watched Hakyeon.

“Because he’s cute like one, look at him.” Hakyeon cooed at Taekwoon, pinching the elf’s cheek without any force. Taekwoon grimaced and moved his face away from Hakyeon’s grasp, glaring at him from the corners of his eyes, and Hakyeon only laughed. “See? Cute.”

“Get a room.” Sanghyuk grumbled, bitter, and turned back to the patch. “Let’s fan out and see if we can find anything.”

They all agreed very easily to that request, moving around the large dark patch of dirt that vaguely resembled a dragon to try and figure out what it was that Heechul expected them to find. All things considered, maybe Heechul could have been more blunt about what should they be looking for, because all Wonshik could see was black earth and dead grass - and the occasional insect that had him jumping back and running the other way.

They must have spent the better part of two hours walking around, kicking at the ground, plucking grass, Taekwoon trying to dig into the dirt with his stick. There was nothing there. Only dirt and grass and disappointment.

If he ever saw Heechul again, he was going to kick his ass.

“You know what? Screw this, there’s nothing here, Heechul pranked us good.” Sanghyuk said, huffing and puffing like a big brat.

“No, I refuse to believe that.” Hakyeon shook his head, looking around. “Maybe we’re searching the wrong place, I’ll go try the tree line over there, somewhere go look closer to the city walls.”

Sanghyuk groaned but yelled out an ‘I got it’ and moved away towards the city walls to do as Hakyeon suggested. Taekwoon was still crouched near the far side of the dirt patch, poking at it with his stick like it would do anyone any good. It was— Kind of endearing.

To Wonshik, however, the field trip was over. He was tired, the top of his head was baking from standing under the sun for so long, and his back was aching from all the bending down to stare at the grass. And he was starting to get hungry, on top of everything else. He was done.

Wonshik looked around for a moment, searching for a patch of grass that didn’t look tainted and plopped down, legs crossed and elbows resting on his thighs. His mother would likely lecture him for his deplorable posture, but he was too tired to hold his spine up properly. Maybe he should find a shade somewhere and take a nap. A nap would be great.

“Is this seat taken?”

Wonshik looked up to find Hongbin standing beside him with one of those neutral expressions on his face, the ones Wonshik constantly had trouble interpreting. He didn’t answer with words, merely nodding his permission, and watched as Hongbin sat down on the ground next to him. He was close, close enough that Wonshik could wrap his arm around his shoulders if he so wished, close enough that their knees were knocking together. He found that he liked it, that proximity.

They just sat there in silence for a while, staring out into the field ahead of them, at that stain on the ground that vaguely looked like a dragon, a thousand things going unsaid between them. Wonshik wasn’t even sure where he could start; his feelings towards Hongbin were all complicated, little knots in a fine thread of silk, too difficult to loosen up without damaging the string.

For his relief - or terror - Hongbin was the one to speak first.

“I thought about writing to you so many times. Every day.” Hongbin said, still staring off into space. Wonshik didn’t register what he was talking about at first, the beginning of the topic too sudden for him to realize what that was, but when it clicked into place Wonshik could only feel like someone had just hit him on the head with a heavy hammer. “I should have. I know I should have, but— I was scared.”

Wonshik was struck dumb, looking at Hongbin with his mouth hanging open with the sheer shock the subject caused. Licking his dry lips, wishing he had brought along his waterskin, he muttered out, “Why were you scared?”

Hongbin rolled his shoulder, a helpless gesture. “Of you. Of myself. Of what I would find if I reached out.” A sad smile spread on Hongbin’s lips. “I was afraid of confirming my fears that you would move on without looking back, that me being gone had meant nothing to you, that you forgot all about me.”

“Never.” Wonshik whispered before he could catch himself.

“I’m sorry.” Hongbin’s eyes turned to him then, large and shiny, a whole universe in his chocolate brown irises. “I know I fucked up, I do. You meant everything to me. You still do, and I’m— I know I’m not exactly a pot of honey. I know I push people away, I’m know I’m difficult to love. It’s what I am, it’s what I’ve always been, so I got used to people forgetting about me at the first chance. I— I don’t know what I’d do if you turned out to be like one of those people.”

Wonshik blinked repeatedly, trying to wake himself up if that was some sort of dream, but it wasn’t. Hongbin really was sitting there, pouring out his heart to him, trying to reach out, to rebuild the bridge between them. It was surreal.

“I’m not sure what brought this on,” Wonshik began, careful, measuring his words, “I don’t know what made you decide to tell me this now, but— You’re not difficult to love, Bin. You never were, not to me.”

Hongbin’s smile turned more genuine. “Is that so? Does that mean you don’t completely hate me?”

“I don’t hate you at all.” Wonshik rolled his eyes. “I’m hurt and confused, but I don’t hate you.”

“I know it will make no difference now,” Hongbin said and paused, seemingly unsure if he should finish the sentence for a second, “but I never meant to hurt you.”

Wonshik smiled at Hongbin. “I know.”

“But I did.”

“But you did.” Wonshik’s smile widened. “You can’t change that now. What’s done is done.”

“Do you think we can move forward? Get past this?” Hongbin’s question was cautious, tentative. “If you don’t think we can, I— I’ll back off. I’ll give you space. I’ll go away for good once th—”

“No.” Wonshik interrupted, shaking his head firmly. “No, you’re not leaving again.”

Hongbin cocked his head, grinning smugly at him. “Should I take that as a yes?”

“Obviously.” Wonshik turned his face away, mostly to hide how his cheeks had gone pink. “I want us to— I want us to be friends again.”

Hongbin blinked slowly, grin still in place. “Just friends?”

Wonshik didn’t resist and gave Hongbin’s shoulder a shove, causing him to laugh at his reaction. “Please, be serious.”

“I’m always serious.” Hongbin scoot closer, the complete length of their thighs touching now. “Or did you affections change somewhere along those twelve years?”

Wonshik shook his head, not even considering moving away. “No. I have only loved one person ever since I was eight years old.” In the back of his mind, he knew he should be feeling at least a little mortified for admitting it, but at that moment he just couldn’t care - he wanted Hongbin to know. Needed him to know. “You— You have changed since then. I’m not sure I still know you, I don’t know this person you’ve become.”

“Mm, you’ve mentioned this once or twice.” Hongbin nodded. “And you’re right, I’ve changed. You’ve changed too.”

“I did.”

“Where does that leave us?” Hongbin asked, earnest for all that his voice was quiet.

“We can go slow.” Wonshik suggested after taking a deep breath.

“Slow.” Hongbin echoed. “I think I can do that.”

“That means no more running away and avoiding me.” Wonshik felt like he should add, his words causing Hongbin to chuckle. “And no more hiding behind sarcasm.”

“Only if you stop fighting me on everything.” Hongbin threw back smartly, and Wonshik huffed.

“Fine.”

“And you have to stop treating me like a criminal.”

“But you ar—”

“I know I’m a criminal, that’s not point.” Hongbin snapped. “I’m not a criminal right now, and you’re not a guard. We’re all together in this, so you have to get off your high horse and treat me as an equal. Can you?”

“It’s a habit that will be hard to break, but— I’ll try. Since you asked so nicely.”

Hongbin snorted. “There’s nothing nice about me.”

“I disagree. You’re nice when you want to be.” Wonshik retorted, getting a glare from Hongbin in response. “Don’t look at me like that, you know I’m right.”

Hongbin clucked his tongue. “You say I’ve changed and yet you still know me quite well.”

“Maybe you haven’t changed that much.” Wonshik concluded, pausing before adding in a whisper. “You just learned to lie.”

“I can’t argue with that.” Hongbin easily agreed. “But I’ll tell you this,” he turned so he could look at Wonshik in the eyes, “I’ll never lie to you. You probably think this is a lie too, but it’s not - I want you to know me. Lying would go against that, don’t you think?”

Wonshik stared at Hongbin for a long moment, looking deep into his eyes, searching for any signs that he was playing one of his mind games, but he found nothing - only hope, bare and desperate, and he knew that he would never be able to deny him anything, never tell him no, never turn him away. Hongbin had him, hook, line and sinker, wrapped around his fingers with red string, his love for him like quicksand dragging him down and down and down, going deeper until it swallowed him whole.

Hongbin would shatter him. He knew so. Taking that first step forward to reconnect with him was also the first step toward his doom; Hongbin was the only one with the capacity to break his heart, always had been.

He couldn’t help but to think of Jimin. He’d never spoken of Hongbin to her. What would she have said, if he’d told her? Would she have laughed and told him to go get him? Would she scold him for being an idiot in love, give him a lecture of how he should respect himself and move on? He would never know, now. Another regret for his ever growing collection.

Finally, against his better judgement, against everything his instincts and intuition were telling him, he nodded. “Alright. I believe you.”

Everything in Hongbin seemed to relax, as he’d been sprung and tense before, and he smiled a smile so genuine it felt to Wonshik like he was seeing a star in daytime so bright it was. “Thank you.”

“Don’t thank me so soon.” Wonshik warned him, feeling like he had to at least keep some control of himself. “It’s your second and last chance, this. I’m going to trust you, but if you do anything to break that trust, if you lie or go behind my back for anything— Then we’re done for good.”

Hongbin blinked, eyes widening for a brief second out of surprise. Wonshik thought he wouldn’t take that deal, but just as soon Hongbin was nodding. “That’s fair.”

“Alright. It’s a deal.”

“Yes. It’s a deal.” Hongbin confirmed and, without saying a word more, leaned against Wonshik’s side, head resting on his shoulder.

Wonshik froze for a second, not expecting that sudden contact, but he found that he’d missed this. Being close to Hongbin, no tension, no fear. Just them, side by side, basking in each other’s company.

So he leaned his own head over Hongbin’s and closed his eyes, letting the sunlight and Hongbin’s presence wash over him.

 

✶✶✶

 

Hakyeon was discouraged, to say the least. He didn’t think it would be easy - because, honestly, when was anything ever easy for them? - but he didn’t think it would be _that_ difficult. He was trying to remain positive, for his own sake as well as his companions’ but— There was a limit to his optimism, and he’d reached it.

He was exhausted, aching to his very bones, and he wasn’t sure it was possible to become sun-poisoned, but he felt like that’s what was happening to him. He felt light-headed, dizzy, unsure if it was the sun or the fact that he’d spent so long looking down; he just knew the world was spinning a little too fast and he needed to sit down for a moment. He wouldn’t be of any help if he passed out from exposure.

Hakyeon shuffled to the nearest shaded area and dropped to the ground unceremoniously, breathing long and deep, eyes closed. The breeze there felt cooler, and as the day itself was more on the cold side, he certainly would feel much better after spending a few minutes there. Early winter or not, spending too much time under the sun, walking back and forth, was a sure way to overheat - and they were all wearing warmer clothes too, which didn’t help matters. Just a few minutes and he would be fine. He just needed a moment to rest, catch his breath, then he would be up and running again, ready to keep searching.

The soft breeze on his face reminded him of the dream he’d had the night before, of how he’d waltzed around the deck of his old ship with Taekwoon, a breeze as cool as that one brushing across his skin. He smiled with the memory; Taekwoon had looked so happy in his dream while they were dancing, his expression bright, eyes shining with the wonder of experiencing something new. He liked that look on him. Taekwoon seemed inexperienced in so many ways, so many things - Hakyeon wanted to open all of those doors for him, take him by the hand and show him everything the world had to offer. Every taste and every smell and every texture, every place, lake, mountain, beach, meadow, river, wanted to take him to different cities, have him try different kinds of food, sweets, pastries, soups, cakes, drinks, everything. He wanted to show Taekwoon that the world was full of beautiful, exciting things. He wanted to show Taekwoon that he didn’t have to be alone. That there was a place for him.

Taekwoon was slowly opening up to him, and Hakyeon, always happy with physical contact, was glad of how clingy Taekwoon was turning out to be. He enjoyed having him close, liked being able to reach out and touch him and not be rejected, even liked the way the elf would whisper into his ear when he wanted to convey something to a person outside their little band, that he chose to whisper in _his_ ear as opposed to anybody else’s. It made him feel all fuzzy inside, giddy and warm in a way he hadn’t felt in a long time - the last person he could recall ever making him feel that way was Wongeun, but Wongeun had made him choose and Hakyeon didn’t regret choosing his passion over his relationship. He liked Wongeun - loved him, really - but Hakyeon loved himself more. He deserved someone who would encourage his dreams, not— Not make him choose between one love or another. And it came as a surprise to him, too; Wongeun, before that point, was always supportive of his dancing. It was the moment Hakyeon decided to pursue it as a career that things went south.

Hakyeon believed he’d figured it out somewhere along the way since their breakup - Wongeun was scared. He could understand that, and he could understand the panic the prospect of losing someone you love can induce, but— Hakyeon was never going to choose between Wongeun and dancing. In his mind, he would have both, no matter what, but Wongeun saw it different. To Wongeun, Hakyeon would dance away towards the horizon and never return.

That was the root of that ultimatum, and now, looking back, Hakyeon would have tried to reason with Wongeun, talk to him about it at length and reassure him that their relationship would be fine. But he didn’t know then. When it happened, Hakyeon was hit by a feeling of betrayal. He felt trapped, cornered, something he’d never felt once before with Wongeun, and that caused his emotions to overflow, to burst out in red hot flames. He was angry, offended, and he made his choice. Raiding wasn’t making him happy anymore, not completely, and he was never one to survive on love alone. Hakyeon was the type who couldn’t sit still, wasn’t the type to conform to a less than ideal situation. He was a go-getter, proactive and hardworking, and that combined with the fact that he was also a romantic, a dreamer, meant that he set his goals high. His end goal was, had always been, perfection - to live a life where he was content with his choices, no regrets, satisfied in every aspect of his existence.

A career he loved, that he already had; enough money to survive comfortably, he had that as well, too; a family he loved and loved him just as much, he had since birth and that family was constantly growing; he had many good friends, friends who genuinely cared about him; and love— That was, perhaps, the one and only thing he was currently lacking, not because he _needed_ it, but because he wanted it. He wanted romantic love; maybe he would have had that if Wongeun hadn’t been such a big baby about it.

...Fine. He was still a little bitter with Wongeun, but who wouldn’t be?

He was certain there was the perfect love waiting for him down the road. It could even be Taekwoon - Hakyeon wasn’t at all opposed to the idea, on the contrary. The fact he’d been dreaming about him so much had to mean _something_ and he refused to believe otherwise, and if it wasn’t Taekwoon he would be more than happy just to have him as a friend. He liked that soft spoken elf a little bit too much to simply let him frolic out of his life so easily. He wanted to keep him around, for as long as possible.

But then again, he wanted to keep the others around too. Wonshik, Sanghyuk and Jaehwan. Hakyeon was becoming fond of them all, not only Taekwoon.

Taekwoon was different, though. His fondness towards Taekwoon felt more— _More_. He was definitely attracted to him, not only physically but to his personality as well, the childish behavior, the penchant for drama, his strange humour, how mysterious and cool he could be, his candy sweet voice.

It wasn’t the time or place to go around developing crushes on handsome strangers, but Hakyeon could definitely see and feel something blooming inside his chest, something that looked a lot like—

“Lathbora viran.”

Hakyeon’s eyes snapped open at the sudden voice, startled with the Taekwoon’s presence. He hadn’t heard him approach, likely for being too involved in his own thoughts.

He blinked, at a loss, before asking, “What did you call me?”

Taekwoon chortled with the question, shaking his head. “I didn’t call you anything. It’s— It’s a poem.”

Hakyeon’s entire body relaxed from where he was getting into fight mode, expression softening as he rose to stand next to Taekwoon. “A poem?”

“Mm.” Taekwoon nodded. “An old Dalish poem, from the times of Arlathan. The entire work has been long lost and nobody was ever able to translate the text that survived completely.”

Hakyeon was hanging on every word that left Taekwoon’s lips, on the way his voice cracked and failed at some points of his speech, the low, soothing cadence of it. It didn’t help that Taekwoon looked lovely standing there in the shade, the sunlight that leaked through the canopy of trees overhead peppering his face with little flakes of light, the vallaslin on his forehead and nose glowing bright in places. He almost believed he’d fallen asleep and that was just another dream he was having that featured the elf, but he figured that, if it was a dream, they would be somewhere— Less blighted.

“The poem begins, ‘Under the blackberry vines, I felt it - lathbora viran’.” Taekwoon continued, looking somewhere above Hakyeon’s head. Following his gaze, Hakyeon found that he had taken a seat right under a blackberry tree, which made everything make sense; Taekwoon hadn’t just approached him to woo him with poetry. Of course not, that would be ridiculous.

“What do those words mean?” Hakyeon asked, curious like a young child.

“Lathbora viran?” Hakyeon nodded to confirm, and Taekwoon smiled softly at him. “The literal translation is ‘the path to a place of lost love’. But it means something else.”

“Yeah? What is it?”

“Lathbora viran is— It’s missing something you never had. Longing for a place you’ve never been to, a feeling you never experienced.”

Hakyeon exhaled softly. “Oh.” He didn’t know how the elf managed to make Hakyeon feel so enchanted, so enamored with him with only words, only by conveying his elven stories. Hakyeon felt like an idiot with a crush. “Have you— Have you ever felt that way?”

Taekwoon hummed, considering for a moment. “I believe every Dalish elf has and will experience this.”

“Ah, Arlathan, of course, I— I’m sorry.” Hakyeon stuttered, flushing with embarrassment over his stupid question, but Taekwoon didn’t appear to be offended by it, shaking his head to dismiss the apology.

“It’s alright. It is, unfortunately, something we learn to deal with.”

“Still, it was insensitive of me, I should have thought before I asked.” Hakyeon insisted, and Taekwoon smiled gently at him.

“It’s truly fine.” Taekwoon licked his bottom lip, eyes darting towards the ground for a brief second before he asked softly, “What about you?”

“Mm?”

“Have you ever felt it?”

Hakyeon had to think a little before replying. “I suppose so. Yes.”

He didn’t articulate on that - the thoughts that passed through his mind were thoughts he was not exactly comfortable saying outloud, especially not to the skittish Dalish elf before him. Is it possible to miss holding someone you’ve never embraced, he wished he could ask, miss the taste of lips you’ve never kissed, miss lazy mornings with someone who never woke up by your side? Because he had felt that, he’d felt all those things.

Lathbora viran.

A lovely name for such a bittersweet feeling.

Hakyeon hadn’t even noticed he’d gone quiet when a movement from Taekwoon brought him back from his thoughts, just in time to stop him from reaching for one of the berries on the tree. “Don’t touch that, it can be tainted.”

Taekwoon’s lips jutted out in a cute pout. “But they look tasty.”

If the mood wasn’t ruined before, now it was.

“I’m sure we can find a better place to pick berries, somewhere taint-free.” Hakyeon promised.

Taekwoon huffed, unhappy with the idea, but accepted it easily enough and turned back towards the field. Hakyeon followed his gaze, eyes landing on the heartwarming sight of Hongbin and Wonshik sitting next to each other, having what seemed to be a whispered conversation. Something in Hakyeon eased with the scene, while another part of him ached with longing, with wanting to experience that sort of intimacy with someone.

Glancing over towards Taekwoon, Hakyeon found that same longing in the elf’s expression, his eyes distant as he watched their two companions finally solving their differences. Hakyeon could practically read his mind, loneliness emanating from him; Taekwoon was jealous, envious of the pair.

Hakyeon wasn’t sure how to deal with that.

“It’s good that they’re not fighting for a change.” He said, and Taekwoon nodded slowly to agree, eyes never leaving the scene. Hakyeon sighed. “Taekwoon— There’s a place for you somewhere. There’s someone for you too, if you open yourself up for the possibility.”

Taekwoon’s dark eyes turned to him then, intense and liquid under the sunbeams. Hakyeon barely contained a full body shudder. “I’m not looking for someone.”

Hakyeon, again, flushed with the embarrassment his big mouth always seemed to cause him. “O-oh, I’m sorry for assuming, then.”

Taekwoon shot him a cryptic little side smile, looking away again. “ _Ar'na'vena. Vira ma vhenan na._ ”

Hakyeon blinked, looking like the definition of confusion. “Excuse me?”

“Mm?” Taekwoon looked back at Hakyeon, staring at him innocently. “I’m sorry. I was just thinking out loud.”

“What does that mean? The thing you just said?” Hakyeon insisted, but Taekwoon shrugged, dismissive.

“It was nothing. No need to concern yourself.”

“Just tell me!” Hakyeon whined, pulling on Taekwoon’s sleeve.

Taekwoon giggled, and it would have been adorable if it weren’t so infuriating. “It was nothing!”

“But I want to know!”

“I don’t even remember what I’ve said!”

“Liar, I know you just don’t want to tell me!”

“Stop asking then!”

“Come on, tell me!” Hakyeon tugged on Taekwoon’s arm, causing him to stumble closer, bumping into Hakyeon’s side. “Tell me!”

“I won’t!” Taekwoon was still smiling, cheeks flushed pink, eyes turned to crescents. Hakyeon stopped everything and just stared, mouth hanging open in awe - he felt starstruck. Taekwoon noticed Hakyeon fixed gaze and blinked confusedly, smile still in place. “What?”

Oh.

Someone he never embraced. Lips he never kissed.

Lathbora viran.

_Oh_.

Was that— No, but it couldn’t— It was too soon, wasn’t it? He barely knew Taekwoon, even with Wongeun it had taken them several months to— No. It was just an infatuation. Just a crush. An itsy bitsy teensy little crush. Nothing more.

He couldn’t get ahead of himself on that. A crush. If he rushed into conclusions and it turned out to be nothing— He couldn’t do that to Taekwoon. He couldn’t just pull him behind a bush and kiss him, couldn’t have anything casual to make sure they were both on the same page before making any commitments, he couldn’t— Taekwoon was… Fragile. His heart was sensitive and it would break so easy if Hakyeon screwed that up.

He didn’t know what he was feeling. It was best to pretend nothing was happening, at least until he managed to figure it out.

“Hakyeon?” Taekwoon called again, the smile fading from his features. “What’s wrong?”

Hakyeon opened and closed his mouth a couple times, unsure what to say, but soon shook his head and managed to smile in a way that didn’t feel forced. “It’s nothing, I got distracted.”

“Ah.” Taekwoon stammered out, lowering his head to stare at the ground. “I— I should get back to searching.”

“Taekwoon?” Hakyeon’s voice was as gentle as he could make it in his nervous state. “Will you tell me what it means someday? What you said earlier.”

Taekwoon didn’t raise his eyes to look at Hakyeon, and didn’t answer right away either. To Hakyeon’s surprise, Taekwoon chuckled to himself, the sound barely there. “It means I’m a fool.”

Hakyeon frowned, even more confused than before. “Taekwoon, what—”

“There’s nothing by the city walls, I’m ready to call it.” Sanghyuk appeared as if out of nowhere. Hakyeon startled; Taekwoon didn’t. “You guys ok?”

“Yeah, we’re fine.” Hakyeon smiled at Sanghyuk, and before he could say anything else, Taekwoon had already scurried away. Hakyeon jolted, ready to call for him to wait, but contained himself the last moment.

Sanghyuk frowned, looking towards where Taekwoon had gone for a moment before he turned to Hakyeon again. “Did you two have a fight?”

“I— Don’t think so?” Hakyeon said tentatively, grimacing a bit. “I have no idea what just happened.”

Sanghyuk only shook his head and sighed. “You two.” He muttered under his breath. Hakyeon only glared at him. “Come on, there’s nothing here for us to find.”

Hakyeon clucked his tongue but agreed, beginning to follow Sanghyuk back to the city gates, Wonshik and Hongbin also getting up from where they’d been sitting to join them. Taekwoon was already waiting for them up ahead.

If only they had waited a while longer for the sun to set.

If only they had looked up, to the stars.

 

✶✶✶

 

Perendale was a depressing little place.

That was all Jaehwan could think of as he walked those depressing streets, dodging the depressing people and inhaling that depressing air. Everything was covered in sand and dust, making breathing hard and his eyesight precarious.

He’d been there before a couple years prior, accompanying the King and his own Arcane Advisor, to watch as they met with the Senior Enchanters at the Perendale Circle. It was meant to be a learning experience, but the whole thing was extremely dull; what he remembered most were Sanghyuk’s constant complaints and valiant efforts to sneak away to find something more interesting to do, often dragging Jaehwan along just because. If Sanghyuk were there, perhaps the place wouldn’t feel as depressing.

But Sanghyuk wasn’t there. Jaehwan tried to focus on his task, his mission, the only reason he was setting foot in that odious city for a second time. It was fairly late, so going straight to the Circle was out of the question - not only would it be suspicious to just show up randomly in the middle of the night, but the path that led to the place was not the safest one to travel in the dark.

The Perendale Circle had been built into the base of the Blasted Hills, the structure designed and constructed by dwarves using similar techniques to those applied to their own subterranean cities; that made the Perendale Circle one of the most secure Circles around, having only one door to enter or leave, no windows, no secret passages. Everything was inside the mountain’s core, the mages that resided there trapped by thousands of tons of rock, rarely ever being allowed to see the light of day.

If something went wrong, Jaehwan would not be able to escape.

He tried not to think about it.

Jaehwan crossed the city as swiftly as he could, keeping to the busy main avenue that cut through the entire place while keeping his head down, face hidden by shadows and the long hood he had on in case someone who’d met him crossed his path. He couldn’t be recognized. He didn’t know who he could trust.

He passed by the inn he had stayed during his last visit, but didn’t even hesitate before he continued going forward; it was a good inn, but it was an expensive one and too risky. People could recognize him there much more easily than anywhere else, for he’d had stayed there for three days and made friends with some of the staff. Good people, but again, he didn’t know if they could be trusted. His best option was to go for a cheaper inn, somewhere in the outskirts of town, closer to his destination. He would get something to eat in his room and go to bed, so he could wake up early to get that whole ordeal over and done with. He should probably try contacting Taekwoon as well, to see if he had any updates regarding their own findings. They’d been doing well; Jaehwan hoped he could add to his companions’ discoveries.

Fear was flying somewhere overhead, far away and out of sight, but Jaehwan could feel the demon around, its presence giving Jaehwan the occasional shiver, his skin constantly prickling. He wasn’t alone, Fear was there to help. Demon as it was, Jaehwan knew he could trust Fear; it was bound and followed Taekwoon’s orders, and Taekwoon had ordered it to obey Jaehwan’s orders. It was good enough.

It took him about half an hour to reach the western end of the city, and finding an inn to stay wasn’t hard at all - the western gates saw a good share of traffic, people traveling the road that lead to and from the border with the Anderfels, merchants mostly, and so there were plenty of inns, taverns and hostels where one could spend the night. He chose the most discreet place close to the gates, to save himself the trouble and not waste time.

The establishment he chose was small, simple, but very well kept. The woman who greeted him seemed like a nice enough person, all smiles and pleasantries, and she was also experienced enough to know not to ask her customers any questions - that was what made Jaehwan feel the most reassured that he would be safe there.

He snagged himself a private room, the window facing the Blasted Hills. He shuddered when he entered the room and saw the view - he could see, even from a distance, the two torches burning at the sides of the wide iron doors of the Circle, the doors that were always locked, the doors that were spelled not to let anyone leave without permission. When he crossed those doors in the morning, he might not come out again.

Fear materialized on his shoulder, smoke turning solid, likely sensing how scared he was, feeding off his terror. Jaehwan didn’t mind - that fear was useless at that moment, when he needed to keep a level head. If the raven wished to feast on it, then by all means.

“We have to contact Daeguni, let him know we’re here already.” Jaehwan said to Fear, who cawed in response. “If everything works out it’ll be best if they are already on the move, and if not— Then it’ll be even better if they’re already on the move.”

It had to work. He needed to get out of the Circle, he needed to find something, anything that could give them a clue as to what to do next. It had to work.

_‘Maker_ ,’ Jaehwan prayed, something he so scarcely did but that he felt was necessary at that moment, trying hard to will his thoughts to whatever higher power was listening, ‘ _please, let me get out of this alive. Let me leave this place. Let me return to Sanghyuk’s side._ ’

 

✶

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i... have nothing to say today lmao this is the proof miracles do happen
> 
> just know that sanghyuk's moodboard thing is [here](https://ghostlike91.tumblr.com/post/178211328364/when-sanghyuk-looked-at-himself-he-saw-he) if you're interested in that!
> 
> as always, thank you so much for all the kind comments and kudos!♡  
> any suggestions, theories, headcanons, angry rants, questions, anything, you can leave a comment here, on my [twitter](https://twitter.com/ghostlike91) or on [tumblr](https://ghostlike91.tumblr.com) if you prefer to remain anonymous! i hope you enjoyed this short af chapter ♡♡♡


	10. No, thank you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter kicked my ass
> 
> and i'm still not sure i'm happy with it
> 
> i'm sorry in advance

✶

 

Everything had to be perfect if he wanted this stupid idea to work.

He woke up early that day to prepare, and he started by eating a reinforced breakfast - the most important meal of the day - and taking a bath, for he needed to look presentable, like someone with more means, instead of someone who was counting his coppers in order not to run out of money so soon. That was the easiest part. After that, he began working on his appearance to put in motion the plan he’d been hatching ever since he decided to go to Perendale.

Thank the Maker he was blessed with good drawing skills - using a little bit of his own blood and some ash, Jaehwan concocted something close enough to paint so he could draw a brand on his forehead; the Tranquility brand. It took him the better part of an hour to complete it, but it seemed realistic enough.

Just the sight of it in the mirror was enough to make his gut churn, wanting to expel the food he’d just consumed for breakfast.

As he waited for the makeshift ink to dry, he took the time to choose the best robes he had in his possession. He didn’t have many options, as most of the clothes he’d brought along were not robes, but the few he had were good enough. It couldn’t be one of the woolen ones he liked to wear to sleep, of course not. No, those he would wear underneath. He had to go for the robes that spoke of wealth, like— Yes, the blue velvet robes he had made for the Wintersend Ball a few years ago, those would do. He’d grown a bit since, it would be a little snug around the shoulders, but it would be enough. He could hide it with his traveling cape.

Once dressed, he combed his hair, taming it as well he could - there was a little part of his hair that refused to stay down, and he would usually consider it his charm but at that moment it was less than ideal - and got dressed. It almost felt like he was back at Castrum Draconis, getting ready for another one of the King’s fancy dinner parties, paying attention to every aspect of his appearance to make sure he was impeccable. He was getting dressed as if the Queen herself was going to come and inspect his attire.

Maker keep their souls.

Looking at himself in the mirror, he already felt like someone else - a rich Tranquil, really, which was disturbing - but he was still not quite done.

One of the many things he learned through the years was that the best option was always the safe option. ‘Stick with what you know’. Do what you already know will work.

So he dug through his pack until he found the mask he’d used during their visit to the Grand Necropolis, the one he used to impersonate an Orlesian enchanter. That had worked. It had worked wonderfully well, in fact - he would make it work again.

He didn’t put the mask on right away, instead storing it in one of the large pockets of his robes for later.

His plan consisted of four relatively simple steps:

One: gain access to the Circle.

Two: find something related to the cult or the jewel.

Three: leave the Circle.

And four: make sure nobody could follow him.

Then came the part he was looking forward to the most: leaving that place and running back to reunite with the others. He made sure all his belongings were properly packed and ready, that he hadn’t left anything behind, and placed the items he would need for his infiltration scheme inside a basket - some rope, a large cut of cloth, a comb, and a second, more worn traveling cape.

Checking himself in the mirror one last time to make sure his hair was covering the fake brand on his forehead and that his traveling cape was properly closed as to not reveal the blue velvet underneath, Jaehwan took his belongings and his basket, left his room and the inn, and began his journey towards the Circle.

Leaving the city, there was a good amount of people traveling the western road, at least until the point where it split into two: one led to the Anderfels, which was the goal of the vast majority of the people there, traveling to the neighboring nation for trade. The other one led to the Circle and only the Circle.

The road that led to the Perendale Circle was a winding, man-made dirt path that wasn’t very well traveled - those who used it were only the people who had some business in the Circle, or the Tranquil in their supply runs to the city. That made for a very narrow, poorly kept road, low trees branches in the way and overgrown flora on both sides.

Jaehwan could use that in his favor.

Once he was deep enough into the path, hidden from the eyes of those who stayed behind in the city and those who were further ahead, Jaehwan swerved into the wilderness. He didn’t go very far, only enough so that whoever was in the path couldn’t see him, and found a tangle of almost bare bushes that were good enough to hide his belongings. He pushed his pack underneath it first, then the basket with the items he would need later, making sure they were out of sight but still in a position that would make it easy to reach. Once satisfied, Jaehwan stood, cleared away any dry leaves that clung to his clothes, took the mask from his pocket and put it on. He cleared his throat, testing out his voice with a few ‘ah ah ahs’ to find the right timbre as he opened his traveling cape and pulled up the hood of the robes. The hood of the cape would have another purpose.

Deeming his outward appearance good enough - because on the inside he was a mess - Jaehwan made his way back to the road, summoning forth everything he’d learned from his years at court observing stuck up nobles; the disdainful raised up chins, straight spines, how every step they took seemed to be a way to assert their dominance. He’d seen it enough to be able to emulate it well, and so he did.

He found that it wasn’t hard. All he had to do was convince himself he was better than everyone else.

Not hard at all.

He traveled the rest of the way to the Circle like that, questioning how in the world could anyone hold such an uncomfortable posture for so long - would his back ever bend again, he wondered, was he forever stuck in a position that made it look like he was being held up by a string - and in about ten minutes or so, he reached his destination; the base of the Blasted Hills were wide and precarious looking, and Jaehwan tried not to think about how he may very well be a victim of a rockslide and fall to his death as he trudged up the path that sided the mountains. The last time he’d visited, that part of the journey was made inside the comfort of a carriage, because, logically, the King and Prince were far too good to climb it like normal people.

Jaehwan swallowed down the bitterness, reminding himself that he was privy to those same luxuries, once.

Fear, so far flying high above, trailing him, dove from the sky to perch on his shoulder, bristling its feathers momentarily before disappearing from sight as if not there at all. He could still feel the presence of the demon, however; he’d discussed his plan with Fear at length several times. It knew what to do.

Upon reaching the summit, the tall, wide double doors of the Circle loomed over him, threatening, smothering, looking every bit as impregnable as they actually were, and Jaehwan had a moment of doubt, a moment where he just wanted to turn around and run, run far away from that place, run back to Sanghyuk’s side and convince him to leave Nevarra for good and settle down somewhere those cultists would never find them. They could fake their own deaths, even - Deceit could certainly help with that.

But no. No, he couldn’t run. He had to see it through, do what he’d traveled all that way for, otherwise any sacrifices would have been in vain.

Taking a deep breath to settle his nerves - with a bit of difficulty, because _mask_ \- Jaehwan stepped up to the Templar guarding the doors, head raised in defiance, and in his best imitation of an entitled Orlesian noble said, “Grant me passage, Templar! I have traveled far from the White Spire to peruse of your tome collection and I shan’t be denied!”

The templar eyed him from head to toes, not impressed in the least, “State your name.”

“Did you not receive word of my coming!?”

“No, we did not.”

Jaehwan scoffed, outraged. “I have not come here to be interrogated! If you must know, I am Enchanter Latruffe, from the White Spire, in the glistening jewel that is Val Royeaux, but I am sure you know that. Now let me pass.”

The templar sighed, visibly already tired of having to deal with his Orlesian persona. Good. That’s what he was going for. “What is your business here, Enchanter?”

Jaehwan clucked his tongue in annoyance. “My business here, Templar,” he said with some scorn, “is to make use of your collection of tomes, as I have already stated first thing when I arrived! Have you not been paying attention!?”

The templar’s nostrils flared a little. Good, very good. “And why do you wish to make use of our tomes?”

“For research, of course! I am a scholar, my good sir, I am currently working on a new thesis regarding lyrium and their most addictive properties!” He stated, knowing what would make him look more sympathetic in a templar’s eyes. From the way the templar’s eyes sparkled, it seemed to have worked. “Can you imagine! What a breakthrough it will be!” He exclaimed, the templar now hanging from his every word. “To make use of lyrium without becoming dependent of it! Oh, what an incredible advance this would be for us all! I have a permission letter from the Grand Enchanter _and_ the Divine, now where did I put that pesky thing—” Jaehwan began patting his pockets in a pretense of trying to locate the nonexistent letter, but the templar stopped him.

“There is no need, Monsieur Enchanter.” He said, noticeably more amicable. “You may enter.”

“Much obliged, kind knight!” Jaehwan exclaimed. “They should make more templars as you, what a diligent man, thank you!”

Jaehwan waited until the Templar had unlocked and opened the door - a smaller, less threatening door within the bigger door, which was helpful, Jaehwan decided - and ushered him inside. A second templar was waiting for him on the other side, whom eyed the first one quizzically. Outside Templar quickly explained, “An enchanter from Val Royeaux, come to do research on the addictive properties of lyrium.”

Inside Templar’s eyes went wide, obviously realizing the implications of that - Jaehwan had chosen his lie very well, even if he felt bad for playing the templars’ biggest concern and personal struggle into his deception. He would reserve himself a moment to feel guilty about using templars’ lyrium addiction against them later.

“W-welcome, sir mage!” Inside Templar stammered out, bowing his head awkwardly to Jaehwan.

“Thank you, good knight!” Jaehwan sniffed, making a dismissing gesture with his hand. “Fetch me someone who can escort me to your library.”

“Y-yes, right away!” Inside Templar scrambled out, leaving Jaehwan alone in the wide foyer with Outside Templar.

“Make yourself at home, Monsieur, I will be right outside if you need me.” The templar said, bowing to Jaehwan before exiting through the front door, the bang of it closing echoing in the vast room.

And then Jaehwan was alone.

He let out a shuddery breath and shook himself. Part one of his plan had worked out well and without a hitch, but he couldn’t let himself relax just yet; no, he would only relax once he was outside again. His hands might even be empty when he left, as long as he _left_.

Rolling his shoulders and cracking his neck in a feeble attempt to ease his tension, Jaehwan began pacing around the room, not dropping his arrogant stance even for a second in case someone walked in on him. He couldn’t risk having his cover blown so soon.

He looked around, taking note of the very few pieces of furniture around, the heavy looking wooden benches on each side against walls of polished dark stone, torches lighting up the room and giving it a feeling that he’d just stepped inside a dungeon instead of a Circle. On the far side of the room there were two doors, a wide bookshelf between them with what Jaehwan knew to be mostly short novels and poems, the kind of literature to keep guests entertained - he remembered checking out a few of them with Sanghyuk, both of them snickering behind their hands whenever they found something cringeworthy, like the tale of the young noblewoman who was captured by an evil pirate captain who would then fall in love with her and proceed to “deflower” her on a beach. That was the word that was used: _deflower_. Yuck. Jaehwan had seen that very same book in Hakyeon’s possession, now that he thought of it. Weird.

He wandered towards the shelf leisurely, steps sure, even if he was trembling like a leaf in a storm on the inside. Maybe trying to find the pirate deflowering book again would keep his mind occupied and distract him from his fear.

He let his eyes roam over the many titles as he tried to remember the title of that damn book - it something about ‘passions’ or ‘fruit’ - when one of the doors opened and caused him to jump with the startle. Jaehwan was expecting to see Inside Templar returning with a senior mage, but no. it was a woman, from what he could tell, since her face was covered by the large pile of books she was carrying in her arms.

Politeness and everything Jaehwan ever learned about courtesy flashed through his mind as his first instinct was to offer her some help, but he caught himself at the last second - he was playing a part, and the part he was playing did not offer help.

He still felt super bad, though.

So he kept his head raised and his back straight, hands clasped behind himself as he continued to look over the titles, taking notice of the woman with his peripheral vision. She dropped the pile of books on the floor with a ‘ _oof_ ’ and Jaehwan frowned under his mask. That voice was somehow familiar.

He looked at the woman who was crouched down now, picking up a few books that had tumbled off the top of the pile, and almost fell back with recognition. Her hair used to be longer back in the day, now cut in a bob style that looked adorable on her, but her face was still the same; Jaehwan could cry with the joy of seeing a familiar face - a dear face - in that terrible place.

“Ning-ning?” He gasped, and the woman immediately looked up, frowning in confusion. “Ning-ning, it’s really you!”

“Wha— The only person who calls me that should be in the capital.” She asked as she raised herself from the ground.

“It’s me!” Jaehwan pushed his mask up to reveal his face, and his dear friend let out a little squeak of surprise.

“Jyani!” She exclaimed, a little loud, and Jaehwan rushed to cover her mouth with one hand.

“Shh, I’m undercover.” He whispered, slipping the mask back down.

“Oh, right, sorry.” She nodded to show she understood, but that didn’t stop her from lunging forward to hug the air out of his lungs. “What are you doing here, aren’t you supposed to be serving prince charming!?”

Jaehwan hugged his friend - Heeyeon, his Ning-ning - just as tight as she was hugging him. “I am! I’m here for him, in fact.” He stated, before adding after considering for a second, “And he’s not charming at all, who said that?”

“Isn’t every prince a little charming?” She shrugged after letting him go, keeping hold of both his hands. “I can’t believe you’re here!”

“I can say the same about you, I thought you were in Cumberland!” Jaehwan squeezed her hands gently.

“I was transferred last year.” Heeyeon answered with a sigh. “I hate it here, it’s so depressing.”

“It really is.” Jaehwan easily agreed. “What about Hyojin?”

Heeyeon pouted. “She’s still in Cumberland. We write, but… It’s not the same.”

“I’m so sorry, Ning-ning.” Jaehwan pulled her into another hug that was promptly reciprocated. “What about Junghwan?”

“Also in Cumberland, living his best life.” Heeyeon replied, sounding a bit more cheerful as they parted. “He’s working in the library now, happy like a baby chick in a pile of trash.”

“At least someone’s doing well.” Jaehwan’s face dropped under the mask, hidden from his friend, but his tone betrayed his feelings either way. “What about— What about Seokjin?”

Heeyeon’s expression became one of sadness. “Jyani—”

“I know. I got the letter about— Yes.” He sniffled and cleared his throat. “I just want to know if he’s alive. If he’s— If he’s well.”

“He’s as well as he can be, I suppose.” Heeyeon mumbled, unusually subdued. “I guess it’s hard for a Tranquil to be anything but well.”

“Yes— You’re right. Yes.” Jaehwan cleared his throat again, forcing himself to sound more chipper than he currently felt. “Maybe I’ll drop them a visit soon, if I travel that way.”

“Why are you traveling, though?” Heeyeon looked around, clearly looking for something - someone. “Are you here alone? What’s with the mask? Where’s your prince?”

For some reason, Jaehwan bristled at that. “He’s not _my_ prince.” He said, fixing his clothes arrogantly. “And yes, I’m here alone. It’s a long story that I will hopefully have the chance to tell you in detail someday, but right now I—”

The sound of the door opening startled him for a second time, although this time he wasn’t alone jumping around in fear - Heeyeon had jumped too.

Inside Templar came back followed by a man that appeared to be in his early thirties, face round and small - much like his hands, which were firmly clasped in front of him - and an analytical gaze that had Jaehwan wishing he could turn around and run again. The templar motioned towards Jaehwan and bowed politely before resuming his previous post by the door, the mage that had accompanied him eyeing Jaehwan up and down as if measuring him. Heeyeon looked from one to the other, confused, and stammered. “F-First Enchanter! This is—”

Jaehwan felt a rush of panic and cut in before Heeyeon could blow his cover, “I’m Enchanter Latruffe, from the White Spire!” He said in his Orlesian accent and forced timbre, and Heeyeon looked at him at a loss for a second before realization crossed her eyes.

“Yes!” She agreed, turning around again. “Enchanter Latruffe from the White Spire. In Val Royeaux. Which is in Orlais.”

The First Enchanter stared at her with a look that could curdle fresh milk. “I am aware of the location of the White Spire, Miss Ahn.” Then, turning to Jaehwan, he spoke in a more polite tone. “Welcome, Enchanter Latruffe. I am First Enchanter Jonghoon. I was told you are to consult our collection to research lyrium properties, is that correct?”

“Yes, it is precisely that.” Jaehwan agreed with a brief little nod. He hoped the nod looked disdainful, if a nod could look disdainful at all. “I have traveled a long way, First Enchanter, I would prefer to conclude my business here swiftly.”

Jonghoon slapped a forcefully polite smile on his face. “Of course, right this way.” Turning to Heeyeon, he said, “No slacking, Miss Ahn, you have been warned twice before.”

“Yes, First Enchanter!” Heeyeon squeaked, scrambling to continue her task of putting away all the books she had brought along. Jaehwan had to bite his tongue not to speak out about the way his dear friend was being treated; he couldn’t speak out, not when everything was riding on him not being discovered.

But he would get Heeyeon out of there. Perhaps not that day, but as soon as he possibly could. Certainly Sanghyuk would be willing to help with that - he filed the thought away for when he could do something about it.

In silence, he followed the First Enchanter through the door, glancing one last time at Heeyeon to make sure she was alright - she was - and forced himself to stay in character. As he followed the man, he wondered at his age - First Enchanters were usually much, much older than that Jonghoon guy. Firstly because a mage only went through their Harrowing around eighteen years of age - Jaehwan had gone through his at fourteen because he was a damn _prodigy_ , thank you very much - and after that it took years to climb the ranks to the point of being considered good enough to oversee the entire Circle and its inhabitants.

Either Jonghoon was much a prodigy as Jaehwan himself was - he was twenty-three and already holding the position of Arcane Advisor to The Crown Prince of Nevarra, _thank you very much_ \- or something had gone terribly wrong in that Circle. Or terribly right, if you were Jonghoon.

The implications of it weren’t very encouraging.

_A coup here, a coup there, coups, coups everywhere—_

“I am not sure what you believe you will find in our humble collection, Enchanter,” Jonghoon said, thoroughly starling Jaehwan that barely managed to contain a yelp, “certainly you would have more luck in other Circles?”

“I am extending my research to every Circle!” Jaehwan replied promptly. He’d been expecting such a question, because he was already aware that the Perendale Circle had nothing to offer anyone. “I wish to make sure I am not missing anything. That is what makes a good scholar, and I am an _exceptional_ scholar.”

Jonghoon didn’t say anything in response, merely nodding his head in acknowledgement.

Jaehwan prefered it that way - he didn’t want to risk making small talk. Small talk could ruin everything if he said something wrong, and he was known to, sometimes, speak a little more than he probably should. He’d rehearsed a few things to say, of course, because he would need to - and soon - but he had completely forgotten about small talk. How lucky that Jonghoon didn’t seem to be the chatty type.

Or maybe he just had a thing against Orlesians.

But then again, who didn’t.

Sighing exaggeratedly and looking around, Jaehwan clucked his tongue twice. To anyone paying attention it would just appear that he was judging his surroundings very hard, when in reality it was the signal he’d settled on to tell Fear it was its time to shine. The presence of the demon, so far close to him, almost smothering, grew dim as it flew away to start its search.

Jonghoon - _finally_ \- showed him to the— _Decent_ library the Perendale Circle had available. It was ok, Jaehwan supposed, not bad, but not exceptional either. At least he wouldn’t have to keep up that charade for very long.

“The books on lyrium are in this section.” Jonghoon motioned with one hand towards a nearby hall of shelves, and Jaehwan, lifting his chin, walked primly over to begin looking over all those boring books he didn’t really need.

“Much obliged, First Enchanter.” Jaehwan said, flourishing his hand to toss his sleeve out of the way before reaching for a book. “Let us see if there is anything on this one! It’s very heavy, no? Must be good!”

Jonghoon made a face at him, unamused and unimpressed as they come, and Jaehwan flipped through the pages before stopping on one, pointing at a random sentence with his index finger and exclaiming, “Aha! Look at this!” He shoved the book almost in Jonghoon’s face. “See this here? This is exactly what I am looking for, yes!”

Jonghoon squinted at the page, obviously trying to read what was written there, but Jaehwan purposefully kept shoving his hand in front of it, gesturing wildly.

“Formidable! I cannot wait to see the look on Jacques-Pierre’s face!” Jaehwan continued, at the very same time he felt a brief tug and a small weight placed inside the hood of his cape. Fear was doing well. “Jacques-Pierre said I would find nothing here, I will show him!”

“What have you found, sir—?” Jonghoon began asking and Jaehwan promptly held the book up and all but pressed it to Jonghoon’s face.

“Here! Right here, you see this!?”

“What the—”

Jaehwan continued to excitedly exclaim that he found something, not once taking the book away from Jonghoon’s face, and all so that the First Enchanter couldn’t see the way Jaehwan’s clothes rustled as a rather heavy tome was placed inside the pocket of his robes by Fear.

That was going so much better than he’d predicted.

Once the tome was safely hidden inside his pocket, his cape hiding the way it was protruding it’s rather conspicuous rectangular shape, Jaehwan retracted the book back to himself and looked down at it, going quiet for a moment.

“Oh. It appears this is information I already had. Nevermind!” Jaehwan exclaimed, shoving the book back into the shelf without a care, which ripped a little squawk of shock from Jonghoon. Jaehwan felt bad for mishandling the book too, but desperate times. “Ooh, what is that!”

He rushed to the other side of the row and grabbed a book from a very low shelf, crouching down so he could reach it. Jonghoon, obviously concerned that Jaehwan was about to mistreat another book was quick to join him, also crouching down to keep an eye on him.

In that position it was easier to hide how Fear was shoving yet another book inside one of the pockets of his robes, this one much smaller and lighter than the first one; a diary, perhaps?

“Ah yes, by Brother Genitivi!” Jaehwan said, reading the cover of the book. “I have met the man when I visited Ferelden. Very thick in the head, so very dull!”

“You have met Brother Genitivi!?” Jonghoon looked impressed, which was encouraging after how cold he’d been thus far. If Jaehwan managed to capture his interest, it would make his life that much easier.

“Indeed! I have been to Temple of Sacred Ashes, he was there giving a lecture!” Jaehwan lied through his teeth - although he had, in truth, visited the Temple along with the King a few years back. Very pretty. “Not as impressive in person as he sound in his books, oh no! Very dull, very dull indeed. And balding! The man did not even bother to wear a hat!”

Fear was placing something else inside the hood of his cape - from the feeling of it his against his back, it was a small scroll.

Jaehwan pushed the book back into its previous position, with more composure this time, before standing up and reaching for a book on a higher shelf. “Fascinating! Superb! Oh, Jean-Auguste would love this, he would! Jean-Auguste loves stories about griffons!”

“I thought you were researching lyrium?” Jonghoon asked, eyes narrowed in confusion. Jaehwan theatrically slapped a hand to his mask covered forehead.

“Oh, this mind of mine! You are correct, yes, I am getting distracted.”

And he should probably already be working out a way to call his visit short; he didn’t think Fear would find much more and the more time Jaehwan wasted in there, the more chances he would be caught. If he was caught then he would either end up dead, or that brand he’d drawn on his forehead earlier would be replaced by the real thing.

“I am in a hurry, I must get to to Hossberg in only a few days and time’s a wasting!” He said, placing his hand on his hips and looking around. “Please do point me to a tome you believe would help my research.”

Jonghoon arched an eyebrow and sighed before moving to find a book for Jaehwan. Jaehwan simply followed, blabbering about Jacques-Pierre and Jean-Auguste like the First Enchanter gave a damn - he didn’t, which was entirely the point. Jaehwan needed to be annoying enough for the man to want him to leave as soon as possible.

Fear managed to shove yet another book into Jaehwan’s hand, which he deftly hid under the long sleeve of his robes since it was a relatively small book, as he peered into the tome Jonghoon was showing to him.

“I am sure you must have come across this volume before, but this is a passage about lyrium and its components that had always struck as me as very compelling.” Jonghoon said, and Jaehwan hummed as he read over the paragraph.

“Yes, yes, it is very compelling indeed.” He agreed. “But I have come across it before, yes. I own a copy of this book myself, in fact.”

“I see. A shame, then, that I don’t seem to have anything more of interest.” Jonghoon slapped that falsely polite smile on his face again. Good.

“Nothing at all!? Why, but this is perhaps the least I have found in any of the Circles I’ve visited thus far! Oh, what a waste of my precious time!”

“A shame, such a shame.” Jonghoon agreed with brief little nods, placing the book he’d been holding back into the shelf before motioning with his hand towards the door. “I will walk you out.”

“Very well, I suppose I have wasted enough of my time in this place!” Jaehwan threw a hand up dramatically - the one that wasn’t secretly holding a stolen book - and gladly followed Jonghoon out to make their way back to the entrance.

It had been easy, it had been way too easy. Something surely was about to go wrong. He tried to keep his head high and shoulders squared as he walked, but each step felt heavy, as if there were bags of sand strapped to his ankles. He could feel eyes on him, every templar, mage and apprentice he walked past staring holes into him.

_They’re just curious because you’re a stranger and they barely ever get any visitors, nobody is on to you, it’s ok, you’re safe—_

Logic kept trying to tell him that, to put him at ease, but the panic was stronger. Fear was happily perched on his shoulder again, he could feel its heavy presence even if the demon was not solid at the moment, hidden away by the Veil.

He crossed the long corridors and passed in front of open doors, and he felt eyes on him, so many eyes. They could see through him, they knew who he was and what he was doing, and they were not going to let him leave, they would keep him in there forever, they would brand him and make him Tranquil and strip away everything he was, like they did with Seokjin, and he would be left an empty husk and Sanghyuk—

_Oh, Sanghyuk, I’m so sorry—_

At least he wouldn’t be alone. Yes, Heeyeon was there, he would have his Ning-ning there with him to keep him company— But what would it matter if he was Tranquil and didn’t feel anything?

He really had to stop thinking before he had a panic attack or something. Now _that_ would be very bad.

He could wait to freak out once he was out of that pit.

The foyer was closer now; he could see the door in the distance, just a little more and he’d be out and he could rush back to Sanghyuk’s side. He was tired of being alone, traveling alone, having only a demon to talk to - or talk _at_ since Fear didn’t speak back. Parts one and two were over and done with, if he managed to get part three out of the way he’d be in the clear. Just a little more.

“First Enchanter!” A voice called and Jaehwan wanted to cry, because Jonghoon stopped walking to give whoever was calling him his attention.

Turning around, Jaehwan was met with a very tall, very menacing looking templar who was eyeing him up and down, sizing him up. Jaehwan raised his chin at him, defiant, but the templar didn’t seem interested for he turned back to Jonghoon just as fast.

“Two apprentices got into a fight. Your attention is needed.”

“Ah, yes, of course.” Jonghoon agreed and turned to Jaehwan. “I trust you can find your way out from here, Enchanter Latruffe?”

“Certainly, First Enchanter.” Jaehwan nodded and reached out a hand - again, the one that wasn’t holding the stolen book - to shake Jonghoon’s. “You have been most helpful, I shall speak well of you when I return to the White Spire!”

“Thank you, Enchanter Latruffe, and I am sorry you could not find anything new for your research here.”

“Yes, a pity!” Jaehwan sniffed, stepping away from the First Enchanter and the tall templar to start making his way out. “Fare you well!”

He didn’t wait for anybody else to speak and just strode down the hall towards the door, and it was with considerable effort he didn’t break out running. He had to be cool, calm and collected, he had every right to be there for he wasn’t Jaehwan, he was Enchanter Latruffe from the White Spire doing a research on lyrium, that’s all, _stay calm, stay calm, staycalmstaycalmstaycalm—_

Ten more steps and he’d reach the door. Just ten more steps. One, two, three— Why were those templars staring at him? Four, five— Why were they whispering to each other?

Oh, _crap_. They were coming over.

Jaehwan pretended not to see them and just continued on, taking the last five steps to the door as calmly as he could; good thing his hands were covered by his sleeves, because they were shaking violently, all his jitters concentrated in them since he couldn’t express his anxiety anyway else.

At last he reached the door, not wasting any time in pushing it open and walking through it, closing it briskly behind himself. Looking to his side, he found that Heeyeon was still there, putting away the books, but stopped once she noticed his presence, eyes widening. He moved towards her to say a quick farewell, but the door opened again before he could reach her to give way to the two templars that had been moving towards him.

Heeyeon looked from Jaehwan to the templars and back to Jaehwan, again realizing the situation. Fear was getting impatient on his shoulder too, and the waves of dread were hitting him with uncanny force. He was about to have a break down and he would be stuck in there forever and he would never see Sanghyuk again—

Heeyeon moved in then, with the small pile of books she had in her arms, and walked right into one of the templars with more force than necessary, causing the books to fly everywhere and Heeyeon to stumble back and fall on her butt. The templar merely swayed.

“Wh— Look what you made me do, don’t you watch where you’re going!?” She shrieked, more dramatic than necessary, but it was enough to avert the templar’s attention. “I think you broke my ribs! You brute! Your commander will hear about this!”

“My lady, are you alright?” Jaehwan faked concern and bent down to offer a hand to help her up.

“I am absolutely _not_ alright! Not only did they hurt me, a _woman_ , they also are responsible for destroying the Circle’s property! Our precious books!” She accepted Jaehwan’s outstretched hand to hoist herself back up.

Jaehwan took the chance to whisper in her ear, “ _I’ll find a way to get you out of here, I promise._ ”

Heeyeon squeezed his hand, a way to let him know she’d heard him, before she went back to her act. “You two are in big trouble!” She pointed a finger to the templars and turned to Jaehwan. “I apologize, Enchanter, this is not the way I had wished for you to depart the Circle, we are better than this on a regular day, I swear.”

The templars were confused but seemed taken aback by the fury in Heeyeon’s voice, and were now scrambling to pick up all the books from the floor. “I’m— I’m sorry, ma’am!”

“You better be sorry! I thought templars were supposed to be the epitome of discipline and care, what are you doing!?” She scolded them like a nagging grandmother, and turned to Jaehwan. “I am so sorry, Enchanter, don’t let these messy templars keep you, I’m sure your time is precious.”

“That it is! Farewell, my lady.” Jaehwan bowed his head to hear and she gave him a quick curtsy, mouthing a ‘ _good luck_ ’, before he turned on his heels and moved to the wide doors that separated him and the outside world.

Inside Templar was still at his post, watching the scene that was still unfolding with an amused expression on his face. Seeing Jaehwan’s approach, he quickly bowed and opened the door. “Have a good day, Monsieur!”

“You too, lad, you too!” Jaehwan waved at him and finally - _finally_ \- he was out.

He could cry if he didn’t have the last part of his plan to complete.

Waving to Outside Templar too, Jaehwan hastily made his way down the mountainside path, running once he was out of sight. Fear materialized on his shoulder again, solid, tangible, and took flight again, this time to keep watch and warn him of any pursuing templars. His hands were shaking uncontrollably, his legs felt like pudding, his heart jumping around inside his ribcage like a wild rabbit. He felt like he was about to throw up. He couldn’t throw up, he would have to stop to throw up and to then recover from that, he didn’t have the time. Later. Later he would heave out his breakfast, but not at that particular moment.

He swallowed down the lump in his throat, again and again until it went down, rushing down the path in a hasty pace until he reached the first curve on the road, since Outside Templar would be able to see him from his post.

From then on, he ran.

He trusted Heeyeon to keep those templars occupied for as long as she could, but if they were set on chasing him she wouldn’t be able to keep them for much longer. When they came out, they would be rushing to catch up to him. His time was precious, each second counted.

Jaehwan reached the spot on the road where he’d left his belongings and immediately swerved that way, maneuvering through the thicket towards his hiding spot. As he moved, he already took off his mask and untied his cape, having it off by the time he found the place where he left his things. Careful not to end up losing everything Fear managed to find, Jaehwan pulled out the basket from under the shrub, at the very same Fear appeared on his shoulder for a moment before disappearing again - the templars were coming.

Hands shaking, Jaehwan took the items from the hood of the cape, the latter item being laid out on the ground. He put the mask, books, scroll and letter - a letter? - over the cape, then promptly took off his bright blue velvet robes to reveal his worn grey woolen ones underneath, bundling it up and adding it to the pile. Closing the cape over the items, he then used the rope he’d brought inside the basket to tie it all up, making it as small as possible, a little pack of clothes that might as well have been laundry, and placed it inside the basket. He covered it up with the cut of cloth, and used the comb to part his hair in the middle, to make sure the fake brand he’d drawn on his forehead was visible.

And then he put on his worn traveling cloak, placed the basket in his arm, took a deep breath, and walked back to the road.

Now that would be the hard part - pretending to be unfeeling when he was feeling so much.

He walked slowly up the road, keeping his posture straight but relaxed, his expression neutral with that disturbing empty smile Tranquils had on his face; as he walked, he tried to detach himself from the situation. He wasn’t there. He was somewhere else, somewhere warm and safe, he was with Sanghyuk back in Hunter Fell, eating something tasty and having fun with the others, he wasn’t in the middle of an empty road where nobody could hear him scream or come to his aid, he wasn’t in the midst of a very dumb endeavour that could get him killed, no.

Just before he reached the bend in the road, he met the two templars.

That was it. The final moment, the moment which would define if Jaehwan would leave that place or not.

His hands were shaking. Dammit. Tranquil hands don’t shake.

_Deep breath, you’re not really here, you’re not here—_

“You there, Tranquil!” One of the templars called out, and Jaehwan raised his head to met the templar’s gaze. Tranquils always make eye contact. Damn, that was so much harder than he expected.

“Yes? How may I be of service?” Jaehwan asked, keeping that creepy smile on his face and somehow managing to sound mild and lifeless. The templar who hadn’t spoke grimaced, which was a good sign - a Tranquil was supposed to be slightly unsettling.

“Have you seen a masked mage?” First Templar asked, and Jaehwan nodded slowly, only once, and after fixing his basket on the crook of one arm, pointed down the road towards where he’d come from.

“I have. He was hastily moving towards Perendale.” He said in dull voice. “It has not been two minutes since I have seen him. You might catch up to him if you hurry.”

“Thank you.” The templar said, and both men moved along without another word, rushing down the path to catch up with ‘Enchanter Latruffe’.

Jaehwan watched them go and, once they were out of sight, entered the thicket again. No way he would stick around on the road, no - he would move around the bushes, where his grey robes would help keep him camouflaged against the early winter scenery.

He brusquely wiped the fake brand away with the sleeves of his robes, shaking violently, no longer bothering on containing his panic. His vision was blurry with tears, he was having trouble catching his breath, all the fear and anxiety he had built up overflowing, shooting out of him like a volcano of emotions. He didn’t know how he managed to walk all the way to the rest of his belongings on his shaky legs, didn’t know how he found the strength to hoist up his heavy pack onto his shoulders, how he was present enough to figure out which direction to turn to. He’d planned to take the long way around Perendale, to travel within the woods, hidden trails, not on the main roads anymore.

But he was out. He’d gotten out, he was alive, he could still _feel_.

He could only walk for about ten minutes, deeper and deeper into the woods, before he could move no longer. He collapsed to the floor, all his belongings toppling off to the ground along with him, and he just stayed there, violent sobs raking through him, forehead pressed against the cold dirt in fetal position. He was so scared, so nervous, feelings of absolute terror and incredible joy because it was over clashing inside him like two powerful waves. He just cried, sobbed, tears streaming down to the earth in a seemingly endless rush. He got out. He did it. He did it.

He lost track of time as he cried, letting all those awful feelings leave his body, his heart, until he felt like he was in control of all his faculties enough to push himself up to a sitting position. He was still crying, hiccuping, but not with the wanton abandon he’d been seconds ago. The first thing Jaehwan registered was Fear, perched atop the basket, happily grooming its feathers.

At least someone was happy, and why wouldn’t it be - the amount of fear Jaehwan had felt the last couple hours certainly fed the demon well.

Sniffling, childishly wiping at his eyes and nose with his sleeves, Jaehwan breathed in and out, attempting to calm himself down. He didn’t need to be the picture of serenity, he just needed to be able to function again; he didn’t think there was a way to stop his tears completely. He was certain he would continue to cry for a fair amount of time as he journeyed back to his companions’ sides.

With shaky hands he pulled the basket closer to himself, Fear happily flying away to let him take it, and without bothering to lift the bundle of clothes and stolen items from the basket Jaehwan untied the rope and dug through the rumpled fabric until he found that letter - that letter had sparked his curiosity the most.

Carefully not to rip it with his unstable fingers, Jaehwan opened the thin parchment envelope and pulled out a folded note, written in neat script but still illegible - a code.

Because of course it was a code.

He skimmed his eyes over the black ink symbols, searching for anything familiar, until he spotted the footnote; in ancient tevene, was written the name of the cult. Somnavaris.

Jaehwan’s shaking returned with a vengeance when the realization hit him: he’d been, and still was, in much more danger than he previously believed.

Fear cawed happily from a tree branch above.

 

✶✶✶

 

The Hunter Fell market square wasn’t as large or crowded as the market square in Nevarra City, but Wonshik found that markets were all the same at their core, in the end. Pickpockets galore, wares of all kinds, greedy merchants.

When Taekwoon told them earlier that morning that Jaehwan had reached Perendale safely and that they should be ready to move out, they had devised a plan to organize themselves. Hakyeon took it upon himself to wash their clothes and dragged Sanghyuk along, saying that as the future king he needed to learn basic skills to feel closer to the common people - Wonshik had the impression Hakyeon just wanted to put Sanghyuk to work for a change. Taekwoon was left in charge of taking stock of their current supplies and dividing everything equally between all of them, and Wonshik— Wonshik was literally grabbed by Hongbin, who decided for the both of them to go buy the supplies they were lacking.

And that’s how Wonshik found himself choosing the best fruits from a stand owned by a kind looking old woman. Hongbin was next to him, a bunch of still somewhat green bananas in his hands.

“Shouldn’t you get the ripe ones?” Wonshik pointed to the bright yellow bananas that were right in front of Hongbin’s face.

“Not if we want them to last, no.” Hongbin replied, placing the green bananas in his basket. “If we bring the ripe ones, they’ll go bad in a few days, unlike the green ones who will continue to ripen for a while before going bad.”

“Oh. I didn’t know that.” Wonshik mumbled, turning his attention to the tangerines before him. “What about these?”

“You can go for the ripe ones.” Hongbin shot Wonshik a side smile. “Citrus fruits last longer, one or two weeks.”

“You seem to know a lot about fruit.” Wonshik commented idly as he picked a few tangerines and oranges.

Hongbin chuckled through his nose. “More like I know a lot about traveling. And surviving.”

“Ah. That makes sense.” Wonshik stammered, suddenly shy; this new development with Hongbin got him unsure of how to act, what to say or not to say, what to do or not to do. It was awkward being around Hongbin after all the hostility and distrust of the past couple of weeks, still not knowing how to treat him - he didn’t feel like he was at a stage where he could feel entirely comfortable in Hongbin’s presence, but treating him like a stranger or distant acquaintance didn’t feel right either. He was having trouble finding that middle ground.

Hongbin grinned at him, amused. “Relax. I don’t think I can be offended by anything at this point, considering all the kinds of bullshit I’ve heard through the years. Besides,” Hongbin turned back to the bunches of bananas on the stand, choosing a couple more as he spoke, “I think I know you enough to know you would never deliberately say something to offend anyone, even me.”

Wonshik couldn’t argue with that.

They continued their quest for the best fruit for their journey, Wonshik now lingering on the bright red apples on display while Hongbin looked over some lemons. Wonshik had to ask again, even if he felt like he should know the answer, “Are we eating lemons too?”

Hongbin giggled and shook his head. “No, of course not. But lemon juice can work to prevent certain foods from going bad too soon. Like apples.” He pointed at the apple on Wonshik’s hand. “If you only eat half of that, for example, just squeeze some lemon juice on the half that is left and it’ll last longer. It’ll taste really good too.”

Wonshik sighed, a tiny smile playing on his lips. “You’re like an encyclopedia for fruits.”

Hongbin snorted. “Not really. Fruits are not the only thing I can make last longer.”

Wonshik choked with his own spit at the innuendo of Hongbin’s words. Not only the words, but the nonchalant way he’d said them, like it was something as simple and harmless as a comment on the weather.

Likely noticing how flustered Wonshik had become, Hongbin lifted his head to blink innocently at him. “What’s wrong? Was it something I’ve said?”

Wonshik could feel that a vein in his forehead was about to pop. “N-no, it was— The sun is very hot today, isn’t it?”

“The sun is always hot. It’s the sun.” Hongbin said wisely, picking a few lemons and placing them in his basket. Then, as if that conversation had never happened, Hongbin perked up and reached for the pears. “Oh, these taste really good with lemon too.”

“You like fruit so much.” Wonshik had to comment, glad that the previous subject had been forgotten. “It’s cute.”

“Aw, you think I’m cute?” Hongbin beamed at him, and, again, Wonshik’s cheeks turned pink. Hongbin giggled. “Was it the sun again?”

“Y-yes. The sun.” Wonshik stuttered, grabbing a few more apples. Clearing his throat, he asked, “What else do we need to buy?”

“Hakyeon asked us to buy spices. Said the food is too tasteless.” Hongbin huffed. “Trust Yeonie to have a delicate palate. He gave me a list of crap to buy only so he could make sauce. _Sauce_.”

“Sauce?” Wonshik echoed. “What sauce?”

“This tomato sauce they make in Rivain, they put that stuff in literally everything.”

“Is it bad?”

“Not at all, it’s pretty tasty.” Hongbin granted, paying the lady at the stand for the all the fruit they had bought with a few silvers. “It just seems like something we don’t really need. We can’t afford the luxury of preparing banquets, we should be traveling light.”

“I think Hakyeon is just trying to help.” Wonshik mused, following Hongbin to their next stop, this time a stall selling all sorts of grains, from peas to rice to beans. “I don’t know him much, not like you do, but he seems to be the type of person who always tries to make the best out of a bad situation.”

Hongbin smiled to himself at those words and nodded. “You’re right. That’s Yeonie.” Hongbin immediately grabbed a few sacks of rice from the stand, Wonshik going for the beans. “And I understand it, he’s always been the type to want to comfort others while ignoring his own suffering, and he’s been feeling Sanghyuk’s grief a lot. Dragging the kid all the way to the Minanter to wash clothes today is his way of trying to keep Sanghyuk busy.”

“To distract him.” Wonshik concluded. Hongbin nodded.

“Hakyeon is like a big mama bear. And, if you hadn’t noticed, we’re all his cubs at the moment.” Hongbin’s voice had an edge of laughter to it. Wonshik found that he liked it very much. “He’ll do everything he can to make sure we’re all comfortable and well taken care of.”

“I suppose that means you’ll buy all the ingredients he asked for.” Wonshik teased, making Hongbin grin mischievously.

“Of course I will. And I’ll complain about how hard it was to find everything once I bring it all to him and whine about it for a week.”

“You two seem to get along very well.” Wonshik commented, going for casual when he was, in truth, very interested in the response.

“We do. As inconsistent and nomadic my life has been the past few years, Hakyeon is the one stable relationship I have.” Hongbin said, and Wonshik’s gut coiled with jealousy until Hongbin added, “Hakyeon is like a brother to me. The big brother I’ve never had.”

“Oh? I thought I was the big brother you’ve never had.” Wonshik tried joking, but Hongbin’s expression was not one of amusement - his large eyes were sharp and intense when he looked at him.

“Perhaps you would have been, if I had ever seen you as brother.”

“What do you see me as, then?”

“You know the answer to that.” Hongbin winked at him and grinned, going back to choosing the wares they would need. Wonshik hoped he wasn’t as red as he felt he was. “Should we take the peas?”

Wonshik was dizzy with how fast Hongbin was able to change the subject, so naturally. “Uhm, yeah, just one sack should be enough.”

“You’re right, I don’t think Sanghyuk will be keen on eating his peas.” Hongbin decided as he plucked a sack of peas from the stand. “Oh, we’re definitely taking some oats, oatmeal makes for a great breakfast.”

“It tastes like nothing, though.”

“That’s because you have the taste buds of a five year old.” Hongbin poked Wonshik’s side, only to make him squirm.

“And you have the taste buds of an eighty year old.” Wonshik threw back as Hongbin grabbed some oats.

Hongbin barked a laugh, reaching for his coin purse to pay for their purchases. “So you _can_ fight back, guardsman Kim, I didn’t think you had it in you.”

Wonshik scoffed. “Like I’m going to just stand here and take this gratuitous slander.”

“I like it. It’s hot.” Hongbin commented, breezy, and moved on to the next stand. Wonshik breathed the wrong way and had a small coughing fit.

“I thought we were taking this slow?” Wonshik asked, voice an octave higher than usual.

“It was just a compliment. Should I not compliment you?” Hongbin’s question was made in that nonchalant tone, his eyes focused on choosing some carrots and potatoes from the stand.

“You c-can, but— It’s a little…” Wonshik trailed off, unsure how to finish that sentence. Hongbin shot him a quick glance, the corners of his mouth quirking up.

“Say no more. I’ll tone it down.” He promised easily, but added, “For now.”

Wonshik didn’t want to think about the implications of that.

They continued buying supplies, their banter dying out a bit but not completely, a comfortable silence settling between them. Maybe it wasn’t so hard being around Hongbin after all. Wonshik was finding out that he liked it, that he was having a pretty good time with him just by shopping and discussing the wares they should or shouldn’t buy. Hongbin was smart and eloquent, his voice smooth like warm honey, and he could listen to him talking for hours. Forever.

Alas, they couldn’t keep shopping forever. There were only a few more things for them to buy according to the list - flour, sugar, salt, assorted spices. Those could all be easily found on the same stand, and Wonshik began moving towards it alongside Hongbin, when a stall selling sugar cakes caught his attention. Hongbin, ever attentive, of course, noticed.

Without even asking if Wonshik wanted one, Hongbin promptly moved to the stand and asked for one of the cakes. Wonshik hurried after him, trying to stop him. “Hongbin, we shouldn’t waste money like this!”

“It’s not like we’re going bankrupt over a cake, Wonshik.” Hongbin said, shaking off the hand Wonshik had placed on his arm to stop him and grabbing his coin purse. “Besides, it’s not a waste if it makes you happy.” Wonshik, again, felt himself flush just as Hongbin paused everything he was doing for a second, before cringing. “Ugh, I can’t believe I just said that.”

Laughter bubbled out of Wonshik’s lips, embarrassment forgotten with Hongbin’s adorable reaction to his own words. “You’re so cute.”

“Shut up, pretend I never said anything.” Hongbin snapped, his own cheeks a bit red, just as the tips of his pointy ears. Adorable.

Wonshik kept quiet, smiling to himself like an idiot as he watched Hongbin complete the purchase, a little bit of the Hongbin he knew all those years ago finally peeking through the layers of armor he had wrapped around himself. It was still him. Still his Hongbin.

“Here.” Hongbin handed him the sugar cake after paying for it. “Don’t tell the others, they’ll never shut up if they find out I bought cake for you and not for them.”

“My lips are sealed.” Wonshik smiled as he took the cake, giving it a hearty bite. Those cakes were basically all strawberries and sugar-cream icing, so he immediately made a mess, the icing getting all over his mouth and his fingers - he felt like a big kid with face covered in frosting like that.

Hongbin was watching him with a little smile playing on his lips, and Wonshik, feeling like he should at least share some of the treat Hongbin had paid for himself, pushed the remaining half of the cake towards Hongbin’s mouth. Hongbin gave him a judgemental look, eyes squinted, but he ended up opening his mouth to accept the cake; he certainly ate it with much more finesse than Wonshik, barely getting icing on his lips at all.

Wonshik was quick to try and lick away all the remaining icing from his fingers and from around his mouth, hoping to look at least presentable next to Hongbin - if that was even possible, anyone looked like a goblin next to Hongbin. Hongbin himself was just waiting for him to be done, the tiniest smile on his lips as he watched. Wonshik, to his own mortification, blushed yet again.

“W-what?” He asked once he felt he was clean enough.

Hongbin rolled one shoulder, a graceful little movement. “Nothing. You’ve missed a spot.”

And just like that, Hongbin reached out a hand towards Wonshik’s face so he could wipe off some icing from the corner of his lips with his thumb. That would be enough for Wonshik to combust into flames, but Hongbin had to go ahead and lick off the sugar-cream from his thumb like it was nothing, the motion as natural as breathing. Wonshik just stared, slack-jawed.

Hongbin, noticing Wonshik’s expression, smiled one of his deceitfully innocent smiles. “Something wrong?”

Wonshik blinked himself back to the present and shook his head. “N-no, nothing, all is fine.”

“Just the sun, right?” Hongbin teased, his grin widening into a charming side smile.

“Yes. The sun.” Wonshik stammered, to which Hongbin giggled.

“Right.” He looked around for a moment, a pensive expression on his - _handsome, gorgeous, stunning_ \- face before turning back towards Wonshik. “Let’s do it like this then, since the sun is bugging you so much, why don’t you go ahead with this stuff we bought already while I finish up?”

Wonshik frowned, confused. “Are you sure? I can go if you want me to but—”

“It’s not that.” Hongbin sighed, rolling his eyes. “We’ve been out here for a while now, and I can see in your face that you have no idea how to act around me. I’m just trying to give you a break from my shining presence.”

“I don’t need a break from you, though.” Wonshik blurted out, only to regret it the next second.

Hongbin looked genuinely surprised, though. “You don’t?”

“No, I don’t.” He confirmed, against his better judgement.

“Oh.” Hongbin exhaled the word. “I— Thank you.” He cleared his throat. “Still, you should go back first. We’re almost done anyway, and I still have to run around searching for the ingredients for Hakyeon’s magic sauce.”

“You don’t want help with that?”

“No, it’s alright. I plan on taking my time so I have more reason to complain to Hakyeon later.” Hongbin grinned mischievously. “Go rest. I’ll be fine.”

“If you insist, I— I’ll go, then.” Wonshik finally relented, starting to get the nagging feeling that Hongbin was the one who needed a break. “Here, I’ll take these.” He took the basket with their supplies from Hongbin’s hand easily, the elf letting him take it without complaint. “I know I don’t have to tell you that, but be careful.”

“I always am.” Hongbin smiled at him. “Is there anything you’d like me to get for you? More cake?”

Wonshik huffed a small chuckle through his nose. “No, I’m good. See you later, I guess.”

“Be careful on your way back to Chansik’s.” Hongbin advised and Wonshik nodded, beginning to walk away.

He still looked back one last time before turning the corner that would lead him to his destination, finding Hongbin still standing where he’d been before, smiling at him and waving. Wonshik just nodded in acknowledgement, as his hands were busy with the supply baskets, and continued on his way.

 

✶✶✶

 

“By the Maker and his blessed semen, Fear, can’t you turn into a super horse or something!?” Jaehwan asked, already out of breath as he speedwalked away from Perendale. He was very close from a full run, and he wasn’t running only because he felt like it would be stupid to tire himself so fast; so speedwalking it was.

Fear was just perched on his shoulder, unbothered, feeding off Jaehwan’s panic like some lord. He would have a talk with Taekwoon about that.

Jaehwan couldn’t recall the last time he traveled out of anywhere so fast, not even the night of the massacre - he hadn’t been so completely alone then, he knew Sanghyuk would be waiting for him just a little ways away, but this time— This time he was alone. Sanghyuk was too far away. If Jaehwan screamed, called for help, nobody would rush to his rescue.

He was so stupid. Of course he managed to land on the enemy’s doorstep, and on his own. That he managed to get out of there at all was already a miracle, he didn’t want to push his luck - that was the first and last time he went anywhere on his own, he would find someone to escort him everywhere. He could hire Wonshik, even. Or bind Sanghyuk to himself with heavy iron manacles. Either way, no more lone crusades for himself, no, thank you.

And it didn’t help at all with his panic that he had the most distinct impression he was being followed.

It could be just his fear playing tricks on him, the paranoia kicking in and the adrenaline rushing through his bloodstream. He had nothing to worry about, Fear was there and it would keep any pursuers away, like it had done on his journey so far. He knew that. Logically, he knew.

Logic didn’t mean a thing in that situation, where there were so many variables it was impossible to predict what was about to happen next. Someone, something, might be waiting for him just around the corner, ready to pounce, ready to take him away somewhere, kill him, trap him, brand him.

Just thinking of being made Tranquil— It filled him with dread. He could barely imagine what it would be like not feeling fear or joy or sadness, what it would be like not being— _Him_. Not being Jaehwan, Arcane Advisor to the Crown Prince of Nevarra. Not being Jaehwan, mage specialized in healing spells. Not being a mage at all. Losing his sense of identity, his attachments, his pride. Looking at Sanghyuk and feeling nothing.

He would rather die than be made Tranquil.

Maybe he would, before all that was over. Not so soon, though; he still had much to do and he wasn’t quite done yet.

He looked behind him to the empty, dark road he’d traveled, eyes searching wildly for any sign of someone or something on his trail, but found nothing. He’d been walking for hours, was already tired, but stopping could mean very bad things.

But it would be just as bad if he collapsed.

He walked some more, searching his surroundings for a good place to stop and rest, ducking into a lush shrub by the side of the road he felt was dense enough to hide him. He still was certain someone was watching him; he felt eyes on him no matter where he went.

“Is there someone following us, Fear?” Jaehwan asked, voice a whisper, and the raven squawked in response a little bit too loud. Jaehwan flinched. “Shh, inner voice!” He moved deeper into the shrubbery, keeping himself low until he reached the line of trees a few feet away from the roadside. “We should contact Daeguni. No offense, Fear, but I think I need Deceit’s abilities right now.”

Fear snapped his beak with indignation, but Jaehwan didn’t have the luxury of time to make amends for wounding the demon’s pride. He had to find somewhere to hide, so he could get in touch with Taekwoon.

 

✶✶✶

 

Hakyeon found himself in a forest, this time. Not one Hakyeon could recall ever visiting, but not a foreign sight - it was a forest. General, normal. A forest.

The trees were lush with bright green leaves, just another proof it was a dream; winter had not yet reached his sleeping mind, it seemed. The sun broke through the canopy of leaves above, casting thousands of little spotlights of sunbeams on the forest bed, peppering the ground with luminance. It gave the world a golden quality, specs of dust shimmering in the sunlight like crystal shards. He could hear the birds chirping, the wind rustling the leaves, the gentle buzz of insects.

It was peaceful. Hakyeon felt at ease.

It was, also, the first time he found Taekwoon from the moment he arrived, instead of the elf suddenly appearing after a few minutes. Taekwoon was reclining at the base of a large tree, its roots all but cradling him, and he looked so comfortable there that Hakyeon felt like he was interrupting - but his eyes were closed, so Hakyeon took the opportunity to stare for a moment.

No matter the setting, Taekwoon always seemed to stand out in Hakyeon’s eyes; were he surrounded by bright colored flowers, eye-catching and vibrant, he would still be the only thing Hakyeon saw.

He shouldn’t be developing feelings for Taekwoon. He shouldn’t. It wasn’t the time or place for romance, regardless of how much Hakyeon longed for it, regardless of how strongly he believed Taekwoon deserved someone to love and cherish him. It wasn’t the time.

And yet.

_And yet_.

The very instant the thought crossed his mind, Taekwoon opened his eyes and calmly turned his head towards Hakyeon, not looking startled in the least. The way the soft sunlight hit him, shadows dancing in his features, made him seem almost like an otherworldly creature, a higher being, ethereal and mesmerizing.

Hakyeon was never more aware of how much trouble he was in, and he never cared less.

Taekwoon blinked slowly, lazy, sleepy, and Hakyeon took that as his cue to approach him instead of just standing there, staring at him like some creep. Taekwoon simply waited, watching Hakyeon with those cat-like eyes of his.

“I’m sorry about bothering your alone time.” Hakyeon said, light, and Taekwoon cocked his head to one side in a silent question. Hakyeon stammered, “I— I mean, you looked comfy.”

One of Taekwoon’s eyebrows quirked up. “I still am.”

Hakyeon smiled and shook his head. “Right. Nevermind then.”

Taekwoon motioned with one hand towards the roots by his side. “Join me.”

“A-ah, alright.” Hakyeon wasn’t expecting the invitation, but gladly maneuvered over the tangle on the floor so he could settle down next to Taekwoon. He had to wiggle a bit to get comfortable, but once he found the right position he understood why Taekwoon had looked so relaxed. “Oh, this is very nice.”

Taekwoon smiled and hummed. “Mm. It is.”

“I don’t spend much time in forests.” Hakyeon mused, looking up at the canopy of trees. “I guess I’ve been missing out.”

“Not really.” Taekwoon muttered, voice almost inaudible. “It gets old after a while.”

“Do you live in a forest?” Hakyeon tried not to sound too curious, but he had the most nagging feeling that he’d failed; not that it mattered much, that being a dream and all.

“I don’t live anywhere.”

The answer made Hakyeon frown. “There must be a place you consider home.”

“No. There isn’t.” Taekwoon’s answer was curt, almost cold, and Hakyeon barely stopped himself from flinching.

“Maybe— Maybe you just haven’t found the right place yet?” Hakyeon tried still, despite fearing his words would be taken the wrong way, but Taekwoon’s expression softened to one of— Sadness.

“Kind.” The word was barely more than an exhalation. “You’re kind. But— There is no place for me.”

“Don’t say that. Certainly you have somewhere to go back to once all of this is over.”

Taekwoon’s helpless little shrug didn’t do much for Hakyeon’s concern; even in his dreams Taekwoon’s loneliness and isolation appeared to cling to him like a leech, sucking out the joy, the light out of him.

“Here.” Hakyeon reached out his hand, palm up, in a silent request for Taekwoon to take it. As he only looked at it with a puzzled expression on his face, Hakyeon moved his hand closer in a way to encourage him. “Give me your hand.”

Taekwoon narrowed his eyes at him suspiciously, and slowly, hesitating, placed his own hand over Hakyeon’s waiting palm. Hakyeon smiled at him, an attempt to assure him it was alright, and laced their fingers together, intertwining them - slow, always slow, so that Taekwoon had the chance to stop him if he felt uncomfortable. He didn’t stop him; he flinched, surprised, but allowed the contact.

“I told you, didn’t I? You don’t have to be alone.” Hakyeon offered Taekwoon a smile. “You can come with me.”

Taekwoon lowered his eyes, his hand slack in Hakyeon’s grasp. “You won’t want me there.”

“Don’t say that.” Hakyeon tugged on Taekwoon’s hand, trying to coax him to look up again; he didn’t. “I like your company. If I’m saying you can come with me, it’s because I want you to.”

Taekwoon sighed and, finally, raised his eyes to meet Hakyeon’s gaze again. “I suppose it doesn’t matter. This is just a dream.”

Hakyeon wasn’t sure he liked how self-aware his subconscious was.

“Then say yes. If it’s a dream, then it’s ok, isn’t it?”

Taekwoon rolled his eyes, a puff of laughter escaping his lips. “You are relentless.”

“Only when I care about something.”

“Implying you care about me?” Taekwoon asked as if that was a challenge, but Hakyeon didn’t feel challenged at all.

“I’m not ‘implying’ anything. I care about you.”

Taekwoon might as well had been made of stone with the way he froze upon hearing the words. “You should stop.”

“Why?” Hakyeon held Taekwoon’s hand tighter when he felt the elf trying to pull it away. “Why do you insist on being alone?”

“Because—” Taekwoon began but stopped himself, lips pressed together into a thin line. A hitch appeared between his brows, and he took a deep breath as if steeling himself. “Because it hurts less.”

“Taekwoon—?”

“You’ll leave too.”

The words were spoken as if Taekwoon had to rip them out of himself, a whisper so pained Hakyeon felt it like the strike of a whip. Hakyeon’s immediate reaction was to shake his head, to reject Taekwoon’s affirmation.

“I won’t.”

“You will.”

“You can’t know that, I—”

“I know. You will.” Taekwoon squeezed Hakyeon’s hand, something he didn’t seem to have noticed himself. “I’m cursed.”

“You’re not cursed, don’t say that.” Hakyeon reproached, squeezing Taekwoon’s hand back. “I won’t leave you, I promise.”

Taekwoon chuckled, mirthless. “I won’t hold you to that.”

“You can, though. I’m not going anywhere.”

Taekwoon smiled at him, a soft, barely there, sad little thing. “It’s just a dream, Hakyeon. It doesn’t matter.”

“So what? Dreaming or awake, I mean it.” Hakyeon shifted on the roots so he could turn towards Taekwoon fully, clasping his hand with both of his own. “I won’t leave you.”

Taekwoon stared at him for a moment and sighed, turning away. “Saying this will only make it hurt more when you go.”

“But I’m not going to.”

“You will.”

“No, I won’t.”

“Stop.” Taekwoon pulled his hand away a bit roughly and Hakyeon let him go, pouting at the elf.

“What? Why is it so hard to believe?”

Taekwoon didn’t answer. He just turned his back to Hakyeon, changing his position on the roots so he was lying on his side, legs pulled up like he was trying to make himself smaller. Like a sulky child.

Hakyeon wasn’t having any of it - it was _his_ dream and in his damn dream Taekwoon was not allowed to be sad.

Clucking his tongue, Hakyeon pushed himself up and climbed over the larger root that kept him and Taekwoon apart in their respective little crevices, invading Taekwoon’s space without any reservation and settling himself behind him. Taekwoon jolted, looking back in complete shock, and immediately tried to turn around and move away, but Hakyeon held him easily; after a relatively quick struggle, Taekwoon gave up and huffed, tired and looking every bit like a spoiled brat who’d just heard the word ‘no’.

“What are you doing?” Taekwoon mumbled, sounding like the child he was at heart.

“I’m cuddling you, so be a good boy and let me, yes? Yes.” Hakyeon decided for him, wiggling next to Taekwoon to get comfortable. Taekwoon, who’d turned around during the struggle, simply made an annoyed face at Hakyeon but stopped trying to escape, letting him wrap his arms around him and hold him close. “See? It’s not so bad, is it?”

Taekwoon just groaned, making Hakyeon roll his eyes and cluck his tongue again.

“Here, hug me back.” Hakyeon instructed while moving Taekwoon’s arms so they fell around his waist. They were limp and hesitant, though. “You can hold me tighter, I won’t break.”

“But it’s—” Taekwoon huffed, ducking his head in a way that his face was half hidden against Hakyeon’s collarbones. “It’s embarrassing.”

“You’re just not used to people touching you.” Hakyeon replied, shifting again so he could fit better against Taekwoon’s larger frame. “Remember when we danced?”

“Yes.” Taekwoon replied, shy. So cute.

“It was alright then, wasn’t it? We were holding each other and it was fine.”

“It wasn’t like this.” Taekwoon pointed out, and Hakyeon agreed with a hum in the back of his throat.

“Mhm, you’re right. This is nicer, isn’t it?”

“...Yes.”

“Relax. Take a deep breath and close your eyes.” Hakyeon held Taekwoon tighter, one of his hands finding its way to the hair on Taekwoon’s nape, his fingers tangling in it.

Taekwoon, still reluctant, did as Hakyeon requested and closed his eyes, his warm breath hitting Hakyeon’s exposed neck in long intervals until he slowly, so very slowly, began to go pliant against him, tucking his head under Hakyeon’s chin and snuggling close to him like a child. Hakyeon almost laughed at himself over how much he compared Taekwoon to a kid.  

Hakyeon didn’t notice when he began dragging his nails gently over Taekwoon’s scalp, or when Taekwoon began brushing his nose on the curve of his neck, but he would be damned if he tried to stop either of those actions. He couldn’t remember the last time he felt this comfortable, this relaxed, the warmth of Taekwoon’s body soothing and welcoming, his heartbeat drumming against his own a lullaby.

Were Hakyeon not already sleeping, he would have drifted off. Were Taekwoon a cat, he would be purring.

“Good?” Hakyeon asked, his voice a little slurred such was his level of relaxation.

“Mm.” Taekwoon hummed in response, whispering against his skin, “Even if you’re only doing this because this is a dream.”

Hakyeon sighed, ready to scold him for being negative in a moment like that. “Taekwoon…”

“I don’t mind.” He quickly added. “I’ll take it.”

“It’s not because it’s a dream.” Hakyeon grumbled, sulky himself.

Taekwoon chuckled, the sound low and husky, and it sent shivers down Hakyeon’s spine. “You wouldn’t do it in the waking world.”

“Yes, I would.” Hakyeon argued. Taekwoon laughed again.

“No, you wouldn’t. It’s alright.” Taekwoon exhaled, going silent for a moment before whispering, “Thank you.”

Hakyeon sighed, weary, and moved back a bit so he could look at Taekwoon’s face, brush his hair away from his eyes. “Why won’t you let me know you?”

Taekwoon averted his eyes. “You don’t know what you’re asking.”

“And you don’t know if I know what I’m asking.”

Taekwoon frowned, confused, and looked at Hakyeon again. “What?”

“No idea.” He chuckled, and Taekwoon, in turn, broke into a smile. “You don’t have to tell me your deepest, darkest secrets. You can tell me little things, like… Your favorite color.”

Taekwoon arched an eyebrow. “My favorite color?”

“Yes.”

“Even if I tell you that, how will you know it’s the truth? This is just a dream.”

“Stop reminding me!” Hakyeon whined, slapping Taekwoon’s arm with very little strength.

Taekwoon still winced like he’d been struck by Hakyeon’s full force. “Sorry.”

“You sure don’t make it easy.”

“Sorry.” Taekwoon repeated, hiding his face against Hakyeon’s shoulder. “You— You should try asking this when you’re awake.”

“Would you even answer?” Hakyeon asked mostly to himself, but Taekwoon replied anyway.

“I’d give you anything you asked of me.” The sincerity in his tone struck Hakyeon like lightning.

Before Hakyeon had a chance to even realign his flailing thoughts to come up with a decent enough reply, Taekwoon raised his head and looked up, neck craned in attention as if he was hearing something Hakyeon couldn’t.

“I have to go.”

Hakyeon didn’t know if he was more disappointed or confused, but he was most definitely both of those things. “Go where?”

“Go.”

“Will you come back?” Hakyeon grabbed Taekwoon’s hand when he sat up, propping himself up on his elbow.

Taekwoon blinked down at him. “Do you want me to?”

“Yes.”

“Mm.” Taekwoon hummed, squeezing Hakyeon’s hand gently before getting up. Hakyeon held on to his hand until he couldn’t anymore. “Rest, Hakyeon.”

“But—”

“It’ll only take a second.” Taekwoon promised with a gentle smile on his face. “Rest.”

Hakyeon pouted but agreed with a short nod, settling back down on the roots. “Ok.”

Taekwoon gave him one last smile - so soft, so loving - before he rounded the tree, disappearing behind the wide trunk.

He never reappeared on the other side.

 

✶✶✶

 

Sanghyuk couldn’t sleep. He knew he should, for they had agreed that they would set off to meet Jaehwan before the sun was up and he needed all the rest he could get, but he felt— Restless. He missed Jaehwan so much, more and more each day, and now that it was so close to finally seeing him again… It didn’t feel real. Nothing about their situation felt real, but that was the least real of all.

When Sanghyuk thought of his parents, gone to never return, he felt guilty - he didn’t miss them. He was sad they were gone, wished dearly to have them back, to have a second chance at their fractured relationship, but their presence— He found that he didn’t need it. No matter how shitty their situation, Sanghyuk was experiencing a freedom he was never able to in the past, nobody around to tell him how to behave and how to speak and how to dress. It was liberating not needing to hold his tongue, eating whatever he wanted whenever he wanted however he wanted, even keeping the social circles he wanted; his parents would have taken issue with him being around Hongbin and Taekwoon, elves and thus in a lower rank of society according to the former monarchs, and they would likely not see Hakyeon and Wonshik as worthy enough to be seen socializing with the Crown Prince of Nevarra.

Even Jaehwan was only accepted by their parents for being an incredibly talented mage, and not only that, but also because he didn’t look at all like an elf despite being of mixed ancestry. Jaehwan faced no small amount of prejudice because of it - never openly, but in the ways of thinly veiled remarks, looks, whispers. It was just another one of the things that made Sanghyuk’s blood, dragon or no, boil.

So, no - he didn’t miss his parents. He loved them, yes, and he would carry them in his heart, mourn them forever. But he didn’t miss them. Perhaps he would have, many years ago, and maybe he had missed them the first few days after the massacre, but the Sanghyuk of the present felt their loss without needing them to be there.

It was different with Jaehwan. When Jaehwan wasn’t there, the world just wasn’t as bright. Jaehwan’s presence was comfort, a balm not only to his heart, but to his very soul. Jaehwan was the sun and Sanghyuk the sunflower, following his light. Where Jaehwan was the moon, Sanghyuk was the tide, rising and falling along with his whims. If the world was fair at all, Jaehwan would be the one who inherited the throne, the one to become king, because Jaehwan had everything, everything Sanghyuk did not - Jaehwan had charisma, he was open and communicative, kind and fair, had the wisdom to make good choices for the kingdom, for the people. Sanghyuk didn’t think he had any of those characteristics, and it was truly a blessing that Jaehwan would at least be there to help him rule.

Maker, he missed Jaehwan so much. He was so close to seeing him again, only a few more days, and yet there he was, wide awake, feelings of fear and hope and happiness all tangled up in his chest. He’d already figured he would only sleep soundly again once he was reunited with Jaehwan, but the fact that he wasn’t able to sleep at all while facing the prospect of seeing him again so soon was getting very annoying.

It would be fine if he had something to focus on instead of his thoughts, but the only books around were those weird Orlesian romance novels Hakyeon liked to read. Sanghyuk was desperate but not _that_ desperate.

No, he would be alright, he didn’t need a distraction. He was perfectly capable of shutting off his brain and stop thinking about Jaehwan. Yes. Who was thinking of Jaehwan? Not him. No, sir. He was most definitely _not_ thinking about Jaehwan. Or his bright grey-blue eyes. Or the shape of his nose. Or his plump, round, very inviting lips. Or his lovable smile. Or the scent of herbs - _Embrium_ \- that always clung to his clothes. Or the way his body seemed to have been molded exactly to fit in Sanghyuk’s arms, from the very few times he’d embraced him. The way he called him ‘Hyogi’ with that beautiful voice of his. The scars on his back, marks from a childhood trauma Sanghyuk wished to kiss one by one and promise that nothing of the sort would ever happen to him again—

Taekwoon suddenly sat up on his bedroll, no warning, no sound to prepare Sanghyuk for it, and Sanghyuk, miles deep in his Jaehwan Thoughts squeaked like a scared little mouse, almost tumbling out of the chair where he’d been sitting by the window.

“Wh-what the—!” Sanghyuk exclaimed while Taekwoon looked around wildly, chest heaving. “Did you have a nightmare or something?”

Taekwoon didn’t reply, just whistled to call for Deceit that appeared promptly on his shoulder. He whispered something to it that Sanghyuk couldn’t hear, and just like that the raven was gone.

“What’s going on?” Sanghyuk asked again, and Taekwoon finally turned his head to regard him as he’d just noticed Sanghyuk was there at all.

“Jaehwan needed some assistance.” Taekwoon answered, calm, too calm.

“What!?” Sanghyuk croaked, shooting up from the chair. “Is he alright!?”

“He is fine, Deceit will be able to help.”

“Is he hurt, is he—” Sanghyuk’s breathing was all over the place, as was his heartbeat.

“He is fine.” Taekwoon repeated, slower this time so Sanghyuk could process the words. “He left Perendale unscathed.”

“Oh. He did?” Sanghyuk calmed some with the news, although the fact that Jaehwan was still needing help kept him on edge.

“Yes. He believes, however, that he is being followed.” Taekwoon explained. Sanghyuk’s stomach dropped. “Deceit will be able to throw off any pursuers, if there are any.”

“Are you sure?” Sanghyuk asked, not only a little desperate. “Shouldn’t we go to him?”

“We will.” Taekwoon agreed with a nod. “In fact, we should move out as soon as possible.”

Sanghyuk barely held in a sigh of relief. Yes. Finally.

Taekwoon threw the blanket off of him and moved on his hands and knees towards where Hakyeon was sleeping not far from he’d put his own bedroll, gently tugging on his hand to wake him up. “Hakyeon? Hakyeon, it’s time for us to go.”

“Mmf.” Hakyeon groaned, burying his face on the pillow. “I was— I was having a dream.” He mumbled, voice thick with sleep. Taekwoon smiled down at him. Sanghyuk grimaced with how sweet the sight was.

“I’m sorry to interrupt your dream.” Taekwoon whispered. “Come on, we need to get ready to leave.”

“You didn’t come back.” Hakyeon complained, eyes barely open as he let Taekwoon help him sit up. “You said you’d be back and you didn’t come back.”

“I didn’t?” Taekwoon asked, laughter in his voice as he fixed Hakyeon mussed hair. “But I’m right here, I didn’t go anywhere.”

Sanghyuk decided to ignore the syrupy sweet moment those two were having and moved on to wake up Wonshik and Hongbin. The sooner they left, the sooner they would meet Jaehwan - no time to waste.

 

✶

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm too tired to talk much today, so............
> 
> comments, suggestions, questions, theories, anything at all, you can reach me through the comment section down here, or on [twitter](https://twitter.com/ghostlike91) or on [tumblr](https://ghostlike91.tumblr.com/) if you prefer to remain anonymous ♡
> 
> i'll go sleep for a week now, bye~♡


	11. Deceitful.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi
> 
> here's a chapter
> 
> enjoy ♡

✶

 

All things considered, Jaehwan was lucky. Sure, lives were at risk and cultists were after him, but he’d at least found himself somewhere to spend the night, on the inside of an old hollow tree that would be enough to protect him from the elements while also keeping him out of sight.

Jaehwan shivered inside the blanket he’d wrapped around himself, the cold now hitting him fully since he’d stopped moving, no longer warm from exertion. He couldn’t even make a fire in order not to attract attention to himself and expose his location; of all the hardships he’d endured since beginning his lone journey, the nights were particularly difficult. With the others, he would be having a fun, mindless chat to keep his mind occupied, but on his own there was nothing to do but to wait for sleep to take him, which was usually something that took a while - letting his guard down enough to fall asleep in the harsh, frigid air of night required a level of self-discipline Jaehwan, sadly, did not possess.

Fear had finally quieted down some, after Jaehwan himself found his composure, and now was just grooming its feathers nearby, certainly feeling full and sluggish after feeding on so much of Jaehwan’s terror. Damn that demon.

If only there was a way to teleport himself to where the others were - he couldn’t wait to be reunited with them, hear the tales of their misadventures and the trouble they’d gotten into while he was getting into trouble all by himself. Wanted to hear about their discoveries, everything they’d learned about the problems they were facing; Taekwoon kept him in the loop, but Taekwoon was a man of very few words.

Jaehwan nearly jumped out of his skin when he felt a weight on his shoulder, a sigh of relief escaping his lungs once he turned and found a raven there - not Fear. Fear was still on the ground by his legs.

“Deceit, long time no see.” Jaehwan greeted the newcomer, glad for having different company for once. “Daeguni sent you to help?”

Deceit cawed in response. Jaehwan decided to take that as a ‘yes’.

“Alright then, you can go do your thing.”

Deceit flapped its wings and left Jaehwan’s hiding place, presumably to work on cloaking them to avoid detection. That meant he would  _ finally _ be able to fall asleep without worrying about being found by the cultists.

“And you, Fear.” Jaehwan turned to the second raven. “Thanks for everything so far, you were great help.” He gave the raven a gentle pat on the head. “Tell Daeguni thanks for me. And—” Jaehwan wetted his dry lips with the tip of his tongue as he thought of what to say, “Tell him to tell Hyogi that I’m alright and that he doesn’t need to worry about me. I’ll meet them soon.”

Fear cawed once, bristled its feathers, and just like that it was gone, like smoke in the breeze.

 

✶✶✶

 

Packing in a hurry wasn’t all that hard when you’re traveling light. All Sanghyuk had to do was wrap up his bedroll and change clothes for something warmer, in order not to freeze to death while braving the cold of an early winter night. They had already divided their supplies and put away their belongings earlier, knowing they would leave very soon, but now that they were actually leaving, and to meet Jaehwan— Sanghyuk was filled with anxious energy, with the urge to  _ go go go go _ .

He’d been pacing up and down waiting for the others to get ready, wringling his fingers nervously. Hakyeon had scolded him once already, and probably would do so again soon, but Sanghyuk had to keep moving, had to spend all that pent up nervousness somehow.

They were finally going to go meet up with Jaehwan.  _ Finally _ . He was so tired of missing him, so tired of the sleepless nights wondering if he was alright out there on his own, facing Maker knows what all by himself. The ache in his chest was almost unbearable whenever he thought of Jaehwan; he needed to see him, needed Jaehwan at a close enough distance to touch him. 

_ Soon _ , he reminded himself,  _ soon _ .

When he heard Hakyeon shriek a few steps away from him, Sanghyuk had been so caught up in his urge to leave he barely contained a yelp of his own, turning to see that a raven had appeared on Taekwoon’s shoulder - Hakyeon obviously hadn’t been expecting it.

Taekwoon sighed, glancing at Hakyeon before petting the raven’s hair. “You scared Hakyeon, Fear. You should apologize.”

The raven cawed and bristled its feathers, obviously set against the request. Taekwoon could only sigh.

“You have a message?” Taekwoon asked Fear, inclining his head towards the demon as if hearing something. Sanghyuk couldn’t hear anything other than Hongbin on the other side of the room going on about how Deceit would finally leave him alone for five minutes.

Sanghyuk ignored that - Hongbin complained about Deceit at least once every fifteen minutes, so it was nothing new - and rushed to Taekwoon’s side. “Is Jaehwan alright?”

Taekwoon continued to listen to the raven intently for a while longer before he looked towards Sanghyuk. “Jaehwan is alright. He asked to tell that he is fine and that you don’t have to worry about him.”

Sanghyuk stared at Taekwoon for a long moment, blinking slowly as he let the message sink in. Once it did, laughter bubbled out of him.

“That’s just so like him. That idiot.” Sanghyuk mumbled to himself as he shook his head, taking a deep breath and rolling his shoulders right after. “Let’s go, we have a dumb blood mage to meet.”

It was all relatively fast after that. They finished gathering everything they owned and Hongbin went to warn Chansik they were leaving as the rest of them trudged down the stairs. Sanghyuk could hardly suppress his impatience - if at all -, the others too slow, way too slow. He wanted to be out in the road already, moving, running towards Jaehwan. But he had to wait. He had to wait for Chansik and Sunwoo to get out of bed so they could thank them for all the help and bid them goodbye.

It was the polite thing to do.

Sanghyuk hated having to be polite at inopportune times, but on that particular time it was downright torture.

Fortunately for him, Chansik was quick to get up, quicker than Sunwoo who stumbled after him with his eyes still closed. “A shame you guys have to leave so soon, I didn’t have time to prepare anything to give you for the journey.”

“It’s fine, Channie, you already gave us more than you should have.” Hongbin said, a smile on his face; it was odd to see Hongbin smiling like that, looking so friendly. “We’re the ones who should be repaying you.”

“Nonsense.” Chansik shook his head as Hakyeon approached him for a hug.

“Thank you so much for everything, Channie.”

“Anytime, Hakyeon.” Chansik hugged Hakyeon back with the same amount of force as him. “You guys be careful out there, ok? We’re here if you ever need us.”

“Yeah, we’re here.” Sunwoo mumbled, eyes still shut.

Hakyeon laughed and gave him a hug as well. “Sorry you had to get out of bed for this. Go back to sleep, Sunwoo.”

“But I wanted to see you guys off.” Sunwoo whined in his sleepy voice and Hongbin snorted.

“See us off? Your eyes aren’t even open.” Hongbin joked and hugged Sunwoo briefly. “Go back to bed.”

“Hmph, fine.” Sunwoo relented, waving lazily at the group before shuffling back up the stairs. Chansik watched him go with a fond look on his face.

Turning back to them, he asked, “You guys have everything? Water, food?”

“Yeah, we packed everything we’ll need already.” Wonshik said, smiling amicably. “Thank you for having us.”

“Tell Sunwoo bye for us.” Sanghyuk added, just to say something.  _ Be polite _ .

“Will do.” Chansik nodded, and that was that.

He showed them to the door and one by one they left the cozy warmth of Chansik’s home to brave the gelid wind blowing outside. Sanghyuk shuddered, shrinking into his fur lined coat. He hoped Jaehwan was staying warm that night - soon he would be able to make sure he was properly protected from the cold.

_ Soon _ .

Hakyeon took the lead, Taekwoon diligently shadowing him, followed by Wonshik a few steps behind. Sanghyuk joined them after, jogging to catch up to them.

Looking behind to see if Hongbin was following, he saw him in the midst of hugging Chansik tight. Sanghyuk immediately felt awkward, like he’d witnessed something he shouldn’t, but at the same time he couldn’t look away. Hongbin looked so—  _ Soft _ . Had they misjudged him? Jaehwan had told him not to trust Hongbin, and he didn’t. They weren’t at each other’s throats anymore, but Sanghyuk wouldn’t trust Hongbin as far as he could throw him. Seeing that side of Hongbin, though… It gave him pause.

He looked on, seeing the moment Chansik whispered something in Hongbin’s ear that caused the latter’s face to shift into a frown as he pulled away to look at his friend with confusion. His expression smoothed out soon enough and he smiled again, nodding and patting Chansik’s arm, reassuring.

Just then Hongbin moved to join them.

Sanghyuk turned back around, towards the road, a hundred million thoughts about trust swirling in his mind.

 

✶✶✶

 

They only stopped to rest when the sun was already rising, having covered a good amount of ground during the night. Wonshik was used to being awake at night, since most of his patrolling was done during the graveyard shift back when he was still with the city guard - was he still a guardsman? He didn’t know. So when morning came, he still had a considerable amount of energy to spare, unlike Sanghyuk and Taekwoon who dropped the moment they stopped walking.

Hongbin then announced he was going to do some fishing in the Minanter since it was early, and thus a good time to catch the best fish, and Hakyeon invited Wonshik to spar with him in order to teach him a thing or two about fighting dagger-wielding opponents. Wonshik accepted because— Well. It’s not like he had anything better to do.

Wonshik was learning that he liked Hakyeon - it was probably very hard  _ not _ to like Hakyeon, with his warm, friendly, earnest personality, his tendency to mother everyone around him and constant desire to help. Sure, he could be a wee bit overbearing at times, but his intentions were good.

One other thing that spoke in Hakyeon’s favor was how protective he was of Hongbin, and how protective Hongbin was of Hakyeon. Wonshik liked to believe he knew Hongbin enough to be sure that Hongbin would never be loyal to anyone who didn’t thoroughly deserve it, and if Hakyeon qualified, then he must be an extraordinary person indeed.

Another thing Hakyeon was, was a great duelist. His fighting style, mixed with dancing, was both beautiful and deadly - Wonshik was, basically, having his ass handed back to him on a platter by Hakyeon.

Hard as it was, Wonshik  _ was _ learning; he was becoming faster, his reactions were getting better, and he was figuring out what to look out for when his opponent was so fast. They could have speed on their favor, but they had weaknesses Wonshik could explore - lighter gear, shorter blades, less physical strength. As much as he hated biting the dust time and time again at increasingly more ridiculous ways, sparring with Hakyeon, Hongbin and Taekwoon was improving his technique.

When his back hit the ground for what it felt like the hundredth time, Hakyeon chuckled as he ran his fingers through his sweat damp hair. “Let’s take a break.”

Wonshik agreed, getting to his feet with some help from Hakyeon, who’d offered him a hand. They walked together to where they’d made up camp to grab their waterskins from their packs, dropping to the floor with twin ‘ _ oofs’. _

“You’re getting a lot faster.” Hakyeon commented after taking a long gulp of water. “You’re improving so quick, in a few days you’ll be the one knocking me down on my ass.”

Wonshik huffed a small laugh, also taking a few sips of water. “I don’t think so, but thanks for the encouragement.”

“I mean it.” Hakyeon insisted with one of his warm smiles. “You’re doing really well.” His expression became pensive for a moment before he added. “And I’m not encouraging anything, you shouldn’t knock me down on my ass. My ass is too beautiful for this.”

The unexpected comment caused Wonshik to bark a surprised laugh, which he tried to contain quickly when Sanghyuk and Taekwoon stirred in their sleep. Hakyeon winced, watching the two sleeping men warily, concerned they would wake up, but when Taekwoon only turned around and Sanghyuk only burrowed further into his blanket, both of them relaxed.

“They must have been more tired than I thought.” Hakyeon watched them fondly, smiling to himself - Taekwoon in particular, Wonshik noticed, seemed to be the focus of Hakyeon’s adoring gaze.

He was curious about what was going on between those two, but it wasn’t his place to ask.

“Anyways, what’s up with you and Binnie?” Hakyeon asked, point blank, and Wonshik choked on the water he had on his mouth, spraying a significant amount of it out onto the floor. Hakyeon arched an eyebrow. “That sounds like answer enough.”

“I— We— He’s—” Wonshik babbled, face like burning coals. Hakyeon sighed, taking pity on him, and gave him a brief pat on the back.

“It’s alright, I didn’t mean to fluster you. I was just curious, because Bin obviously thinks the world of you, and yet he’d never mentioned you before.”

Wonshik took a deep breath, fanning himself with one hand as he recovered. “Yeah, I— I don’t think he would have mentioned me.”

“It’s so like him.” Hakyeon scoffed and shook his head, looking towards where Hongbin was fishing by the edge of the river. “Anything that makes him feel something he doesn’t know how to deal with, he tries to bury it.”

“He’s not doing a very good job.”

Hakyeon laughed at that jab. “You’re not wrong.” More seriously, he continued, “If you don’t mind me asking, how did you meet?”

Far from being offended or put out, Wonshik smiled and gladly answered, “We were still kids. Hongbin got into some trouble, as he’s been known to do, and came seeking for a hiding place inside my mother’s shop. I helped him.”

“That’s so cute!” Hakyeon cooed. “I can imagine it clearly, a little Binnie and a little Wonshik playing together in the mud.”

Wonshik couldn’t help but laugh at that. “That’s fair, we did play in the mud a lot.” Wonshik’s eyes shifted towards where Hongbin was sitting down by the Minanter, seemingly waiting for a fish to bite. “We were hardly ever apart. He was—  _ Is _ … The best friend I’ve ever had.”

Hakyeon sighed next to him as he followed his line of sight. “When I asked him about it, the night of the massacre, the way he spoke of you hinted to you being a little more than friends.”

Heat shot up to Wonshik’s face again, his cheeks undoubtedly becoming crimson. “It’s— It’s a little complicated.”

“It always is.” Hakyeon murmured, gaze shifting briefly towards Taekwoon. Wonshik pretended not to notice. “If it’s of any help, as far as my insight is helpful at all, Hongbin— He really cares about you.”

“I know. I care about him too, it’s just— It’s been a long time.” Wonshik mumbled, shy, but Hakyeon was the closest to Hongbin. He felt like he could trust him, not because he was friends with Hongbin, but because Hakyeon genuinely appeared to want to help. He could be the link that was missing to help him reconnect with Hongbin, and if not, at least shed a light on the person Hongbin was now, the person he was still trying to get to know better.

“I hope you two can figure this out.” Hakyeon said, smiling again. “As I’m sure you will. Hongbin— He doesn’t love easily, and he’s loved you for a long time. In Hongbin-Language, that means a  _ lot _ .”

An amused chuckle escaped Wonshik’s throat. “That’s a very good way to put it.”

Hakyeon joined in on the laughter, taking another quick sip of water before pushing himself up. “Come on, let’s keep sparring, and while we do it I’ll try to give you some ‘Hongbin Tips’.”

Wonshik smiled at Hakyeon, and, properly closing and putting away his waterskin, got to his feet and followed him to keep sparring.

 

✶✶✶

 

After an early lunch, Hongbin, Wonshik and Hakyeon himself settled down to sleep for a while. Hakyeon didn’t stay asleep for long, waking up after an hour or so, and found that he didn’t particularly wish to go back to sleep - the main reason being, if he was asleep, he might dream with Taekwoon again. And sure, he liked dreaming of him, the dreams he’d had featuring the elf had all been pleasant and comfortable, but his latest dream had been so— Down to earth.  _ It’s just a dream _ , Taekwoon had said then. It was just a dream. He didn’t want to spend time with Taekwoon like that, get to know him like that, a version of him that was… Well. Just a dream.

So he got up, grabbed a drying cloth and shuffled towards the Minanter river to throw some water on his face to fully wake up, deciding that he should try doing something more productive than sleep; he could sleep a little more later, when they next stopped to rest.

Approaching the river, he spotted two of his companions - Sanghyuk, knee-deep into the water, only his breeches on as he bathed, and Taekwoon, sitting at the edge of the river, hair dripping wet and a drying cloth hanging from his head. Hakyeon couldn’t decide if he was relieved or disappointed that Taekwoon wasn’t in a similar state of undress as Sanghyuk, who was bathing without a care in the world, scales exposed to the sunlight.

Well. Good for him.

Taekwoon was dressed, though, in a simple linen tunic and loose pants, staring dazedly ahead as if lost deep in thought. Hakyeon didn’t interrupt him right away, instead doing what he’d primarily set out to do and washing his face, rinsing his mouth too for good measure.

Only after properly drying his face and hands did Hakyeon move towards Taekwoon, who gazed up at him upon noticing his approach.

“You’re going to catch a cold like this.” Hakyeon nagged like a doting mother and immediately grabbed the drying cloth from Taekwoon’s head, sitting down behind him. “Tip your head back, please.”

Taekwoon said nothing, but promptly obliged and leaned back so Hakyeon would have easier access to his hair. Hakyeon hummed his approval and began working to remove the excess water from Taekwoon messy hair, gently rubbing the cloth over it to get rid of the excess dampness. Taekwoon seemed relaxed, at ease with having Hakyeon so close, and Hakyeon’s heart felt like it could burst with the joy it caused him; it’s what he wanted. For Taekwoon to be comfortable around him, for Taekwoon to feel like he could let go and have the freedom to— To be himself. To express his thoughts and feelings without the fear of being rejected.

Hakyeon felt like he was getting there, slowly but surely. Baby steps.

He took that chance to stroke Taekwoon’s hair affectionately, for the first time touching the strands directly - damp as they were, they felt soft under his palm, the less tangled parts silky, and that sparked an idea inside his head.

That was such a great opportunity, Hakyeon just had to take it.

“Wait here, I’ll be right back.”

Without waiting for Taekwoon to answer, Hakyeon just shot up to his feet and jogged back to their camp, zooming towards his pack to rummage through it until he found one of his combs. Barely containing his excitement, he returned to Taekwoon. The elf hadn’t moved from his spot, merely glancing back over his shoulder curiously to accompany Hakyeon’s movements.

“What are you doing?” Taekwoon asked, uncertain, as Hakyeon settled back down behind him.

“Something I’ve wanted to do for a long time.” Hakyeon replied, simple. “Keep your head up, face ahead.”

Taekwoon scowled at him, an obvious show of distaste from being ordered around like that, but ultimately complied and turned around.

Gently as not to end up hurting him, Hakyeon gathered Taekwoon’s hair in his hands. “You have such pretty hair, you should take better care of it. I have a couple extra combs, you can have this one.”

Taekwoon took a moment before softly replying a shy, “Thank you.”

Hakyeon smiled to himself, smitten to his very core. “This might hurt a little bit, it’s pretty tangled. I promise I’ll be gentle, but there will be a few pulls I can’t avoid.” He warned, smoothing Taekwoon’s hair with one hand while he held onto it with the other, to make sure no strands were loose.

“I trust you.” Taekwoon said without a second’s hesitation, and the fact that Hakyeon managed not to squeal with delight was surprising even to himself.

Holding on to Taekwoon’s hair, his hand close to his nape, Hakyeon carefully began combing the tangled tips, the knots there coming loose with more ease than he’d been expecting.

“I used to brush my mother’s hair when I was little.” Hakyeon began, feeling a need to fill in the silence. “She had this hair brush decorated with white seashells, and every night she would ask me to brush her hair. ‘One hundred times’, she would say, ‘to make it shine’.”

“Hair shines if you brush it a hundred times?” Taekwoon’s question was made in such a childish way that Hakyeon couldn’t help but to smile wider.

“I’m not sure. I think it’s superstition, or maybe because you brush it so much there will be no knots at all and the hair will appear softer? I don’t know.”

“Oh. I see.” Taekwoon sounded disappointed with the lack of magic in Hakyeon’s response. Maker’s breath, he was so  _ cute _ .

Hakyeon continued to comb his hair, the ease he had at the start making him grow a little lax with how careful he was being, which caused him to yank Taekwoon’s hair with a bit more strength than necessary. Taekwoon made a pained little noise in his throat, a small whine, and Hakyeon gasped, not even thinking twice before wrapping his arms around Taekwoon’s shoulders.

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, I’ll be more careful!” He said urgently, squeezing Taekwoon gently in his arms and swaying a little, the same way he would comfort a child or a close friend.

But it was Taekwoon.

He only realized what he was doing when Taekwoon shyly murmured a “It’s ok”, his soft cadence smacking Hakyeon in the head and bringing him back to reality. Hakyeon blushed up to the tips of his ears (much like Taekwoon), and let go of Taekwoon so he could go back to his previous task.

Clearing his throat and mumbling an “I’m sorry”, Hakyeon took hold of the elf’s hair again, continuing to comb it with much more care this time.

He just had to go and make it awkward.

Set on glossing over his previous action, Hakyeon kept talking as if nothing had happened. “One other thing my mother taught me is that you should always start brushing your hair by the tips and work your way up, to avoid losing more hair than necessary.” He said, carefully sliding the comb through Taekwoon’s ink black strands of hair. “I started brushing her hair from the top once and she told me this story about the little girl who started to brush her hair from the top, but used too much force and ripped out all hair at once and became bald, so needless to say I never started brushing from the top again.” Hakyeon laughed to himself at the memory. “I was a very impressionable child. I’m actually afraid of ghost stories until this very day, and I firmly believe that—” Hakyeon took notice of how quiet and still Taekwoon had gotten, and peeked around him only to check if he was awake - his eyes were closed. “Are you listening to me? You’re not listening to me!”

“I am.” Taekwoon promptly answered, the lack of delay proof enough he wasn’t asleep. “I like the sound of your voice. Keep talking.”

“O-oh, alright.” Hakyeon stammered out. The words got him by surprise - usually, his friends would either ignore him or stop paying attention in the middle of his speech. To have Taekwoon hanging on to his every word, and liking his voice too— It made his heart flutter. No helping it.

He shouldn’t be letting himself be so affected by Taekwoon. Dreaming of him was one thing, but he wasn’t dreaming - that was the real Taekwoon, a real person with real feelings and a real heart that he could really break. It was fine for him to him to humor himself in dreams and pretend he was closer to Taekwoon than he actually was, but  _ that _ , combing his hair and hugging him and trading sweet words— It was dangerous, more to Taekwoon than to himself.

Hakyeon couldn’t help but think of Jaehwan, how he’d gotten so close to Taekwoon in a mere couple of hours, when Hakyeon had been around the elf for over two weeks and still felt so far away from him. It bothered him.

No, he was  _ not _ jealous. Not at all. Just— Vaguely bothered. Miffed. Slightly inconvenienced.

Clearing his throat again, Hakyeon said as casually as he could, “So… You and Jaehwan seem close.”

“Close?” Taekwoon hummed thoughtfully for a moment. “Not really.”

“He certainly acts like you are.”

Taekwoon shrugged. “He’s weird.”

“Weird or not, he sure knows more about you than I do.” Hakyeon hoped he didn’t sound as bitter as he felt. “You two seem to have a lot of secrets.”

Again, Taekwoon shrugged. Hakyeon sucked in a breath trying to calm himself enough to make it through the discussion without crying out of frustration - he was a crier. A sad crier, a happy crier, an angry crier. He hated that trait of himself, especially in situations like that when he needed to stay collected, keep himself together. He didn’t think it would happen, not so soon at least, unless Taekwoon said something to really wound his pride; unlikely. Still, it was good to be prepared. Just in case.

After a long beat of silence, Taekwoon’s soft voice spoke. “Are you angry with me?”

Hakyeon opened his mouth to reply but snapped it shut just as fast. He wanted to say no, but that would lead to more questions. Whatever question they would turn out to be, Hakyeon didn’t think the time was right to answer any of them. Instead, he asked, “What is Jaehwan to you?”

Taekwoon turned slightly to look at him over his shoulder, a small frown on his face and eyes watching Hakyeon with confusion as if the question had thoroughly puzzled him. “Jaehwan is my friend.”

“You knew him for five minutes.” Hakyeon pointed out, trying to keep the bite reeled in. “How can you be so close, have so many secrets, with someone you just met?”

“Jaehwan and I talk a lot.” Taekwoon explained, again with that straightforward simplicity that Hakyeon couldn’t help but to know was the truth, but that at the same time felt so grossly incomplete he wanted to claw at his own eyes.

“When? We’ve been around you both basically all the time and I know for a fact that you didn’t talk much at all.” Hakyeon’s accusation was received with a slow, catlike blink, the ones that Hakyeon had learned meant Taekwoon wasn’t inclined on speaking. He wasn’t ready to let it go yet, however. “You don’t talk. You never talk.”

“I talk.” Taekwoon said, defensive, averting his eyes back to the river ahead.

Hakyeon let out a chuckle that just bubbled out of him, a joyless, empty little sound. “Not to me, you don’t.”

Taekwoon’s eyes turned back at him immediately, his expression confused as if Hakyeon had suddenly started speaking another language. “I talk to you.”

“No, you don’t.” Hakyeon scoffed, shaking his head as he couldn’t believe the turn the conversation was taking.

“Do you want me to talk to you?” Taekwoon asked, his voice sounding uncharacteristically insecure. Hakyeon almost choked on his tongue at the direct question.

“T-that’s not the point.” He could feel his face heating up, and blushing like a teen having his first crush was definitely not how he had expected that conversation to end.

“We can talk.” Taekwoon said, and that— That gave Hakyeon pause.

Narrowing his eyes minutely, he asked, “We can?”

“Yes.” Taekwoon nodded for emphasis. Hakyeon’s eyes narrowed further.

“And you’ll tell me things?”

Taekwoon licked his bottom lip nervously. “It depends.”

Hakyeon huffed, annoyed, but he’d been expecting it - he knew Taekwoon wouldn’t simply start talking about his deepest darkest secrets. Instead, he twirled his index finger to indicate for Taekwoon to turn around, which he promptly did.

Going back to combing the elf’s hair, Hakyeon asked the same question he’d asked in his most recent dream, “What’s your favorite color?”

“Blue.” Taekwoon answered after a second to think of it.

“Blue? Like the sky?”

“Mm, but the sky at night, when the sun is just setting and the color is not too dark and not too light.”

Hakyeon smiled to himself at how specific the description was. “That’s a pretty color.”

Taekwoon was quiet for a moment before he asked, “What’s yours?”

Hakyeon’s smile widened. “Red. Like roses.”

“You like roses?”

“I find them very romantic.” Hakyeon said, separating a strand of Taekwoon’s hair to comb it.

“Mm.” Taekwoon hummed thoughtfully, falling into silence.

Hakyeon grew anxious with the sudden silence for some reason and asked the first thing that came to his mind, “Do you like flowers?”

Taekwoon glanced back at him briefly, looking a little caught off guard, and as he turned back around he said, “Yes.”

Hakyeon decided to stick to that line of questioning. “What’s your favorite?”

“Dawn Lotus.”

The answer made Hakyeon huff a small laugh. “It suits you.”

“How so?”

_ Pretty and mysterious,  _ Hakyeon answered in his thoughts _. _ Out loud, he only replied with a simple, “It just does.”

“Mm.” Taekwoon gave him another one of his thoughtful hums - which Hakyeon was discovering he both loved and hated, but what could he do? Taekwoon wasn’t well verse in keeping a conversation going, and Hakyeon didn’t want him to feel pressured to continue a topic he had nothing to add to.

So taking a quick breath as he began combing another strand of hair, he asked, “What’s your favorite food?”

Taekwoon took a lot longer to answer this time, humming all the way in a thoughtful manner and Hakyeon almost felt sorry for asking such a difficult question. Finally, after several seconds, Taekwoon replied, “Hearth cake.”

“Hearth cake?” He echoed with a lilt. “I don’t think I’ve ever had that.”

“It’s very common amongst the Dalish. It’s made with flour, sugar, halla butter and dried fruits.”

“That sounds tasty.” Hakyeon mused, finishing another strand of hair and moving on to the next. He was almost done. “If you give me a list of all the ingredients, I can try making it for you.”

Taekwoon chuckled through his nose. “I know how to make it.” A pause. “Maybe I’ll make it for you.”

Hakyeon’s grip on the comb faltered at the words, his face flush with heat. Taekwoon— Taekwoon had just said he would bake a cake. For Hakyeon. He didn’t want to read too much into it, didn’t want to hope it meant anything else than a friendly gesture, but his heart was already doing cartwheels inside his chest beyond any control.

Taekwoon was going to be the death of him. He just knew.

To cover up his embarrassment, he asked as naturally as he could, “You know how to bake?”

“Yes.” Taekwoon responded promptly.

“Who taught you?”

“My sisters.”

Hakyeon paused everything upon hearing that information, eyes wide with curiosity. “You have sisters?”

Taekwoon went rigid with his question, like he hadn’t realized what he said until Hakyeon acknowledged it.

“Taekwoon?”

“No. I don’t have sisters.”

Hakyeon sighed, tired, going back to combing the last strand left of tangled hair. “Taekwoon— I don’t want to pressure you into talking about things that hurt, but don’t lie to me.”

Taekwoon bowed his head, like a child who had just been scolded. “I’m sorry.”

“I forgive you.” Hakyeon said as gently as he could, finishing up with the comb. Taekwoon’s hair was much longer than it seemed to be at first, going beyond his broad shoulders. “Your hair is so pretty.”

Taekwoon was silent for a few seconds. “I should cut it.”

“No, you should not. It’s pretty like this.” Hakyeon said, combing Taekwoon’s hair back carefully. “I can’t do much, but my sister did teach me how to make a simple braid. It’ll be enough to keep your hair from falling in your eyes.”

“Alright.” Taekwoon muttered, and Hakyeon noticed how subdued he’d become since the mention of his sisters.

As Hakyeon separated some of Taekwoon’s hair, holding it in his hand in a messy half ponytail, he wondered about it; how many sisters did Taekwoon have? Why didn’t he want to talk about them? Were they dead or alive? Were they somewhere waiting for him, were they good people? He wanted to know. He wanted Taekwoon to tell him. To trust him.

“Taekwoon?” He called a while after, already halfway through the braid. Taekwoon hummed to prompt him to continue. “Will you tell me someday? About your sisters?”

“Someday.” Taekwoon said, a somber, sad timbre. “Someday I’ll tell you. About my sisters, and about everything else.”

Hakyeon said nothing in response - it was enough for him. So, silently, he finished braiding Taekwoon’s hair, enjoying being so close to the puzzle that was Taekwoon.

 

✶✶✶

 

All in all, things were going well. Deceit was doing a superb job in keeping him safe and helping him travel undetected, and Jaehwan was making good time on his journey, more motivated now that he was so close to reuniting with the others.

The sun was beginning to set, bathing the world in a soft orange glow. Jaehwan had been walking for the good part of three hours without stopping, in a slow but steady pace; he could continue walking for a little longer, and would have were he not hungry. Jaehwan veered off the path, once again braving the wilderness to find himself a nice hidden spot to rest. The woods weren’t so thick there, the trees narrow and sparse, but Deceit could certainly handle it. He would still not make a fire, though - he was willing to take some risks, but that seemed like a stupid risk that should be avoided.

His dinner consisted of dry bread and an apple, not enough to extinguish his hunger but enough to keep him alive, which, he figured was the most important thing. He missed having decent meals, though - roasted meats with orange, steamed vegetables, the spiced chicken pot pie the cook at Castrum Draconis used to make.

Jaehwan stared at his half-eaten apple and sighed; thinking about food was making him depressed. 

So, instead of suffering and torturing himself thinking about warm delicious meals, Jaehwan pulled his pack closer to search for the items he’d managed to snatch from the Perendale Circle - that letter in particular. He’d been looking at it from time to time, trying to decipher the code and had a vague idea of what some of the symbols meant, but not enough to know what it said.

Biting into his apple, Jaehwan opened the letter with one hand and proceeded to stare at it. He chewed slowly, frowning thoughtfully. He knew that the symbol that looked like a tree was the letter ‘E’, and the one that looked like two coiled snakes was a ‘T’. The one that appeared the most was a diagonal line, so logic dictated it to be ‘A’. He couldn’t be sure; maybe that was a language that didn’t require the letter ‘A’ at all. It could be a language of only consonants. Maybe the symbols weren’t letters at all but entire words.

Jaehwan groaned, frustrated, before finishing his apple and tossing its remains over his shoulder, wiping his hand on the front of his clothes so he wouldn’t get apple juices all over the parchment. Rolling his neck to ease the tension on his muscles, Jaehwan went back to staring at the symbols; he was determined to make sense of it, to decode it, no matter what.

Damn those sneaky, conniving, deceitful little cultists with their— 

Oh.

Deceitful.

What is a code if not a way to deceive?

“Deceit!” Jaehwan called the raven, hoping he didn’t sound too loud - he was excited about his capacity for logical thinking. The demon appeared by his side in an instant. “Deceit, can you help me out with this?”

Jaehwan held out the letter to the demon, and Deceit just— Stared at it. Jaehwan sighed.

“You can understand this, yes?” He asked. Deceit cawed. Jaehwan retreated his hand, looking down at the letter as his shoulders rounded in defeat. “But you can’t tell me what it says because you can’t speak. I get it.”

There was only one way to make it happen, but Jaehwan didn’t wish to resort to that; Deceit was a demon. Bound, yes, but still a demon. If something went wrong— 

No. Nothing would go wrong. Jaehwan had to find out the next step, for Sanghyuk’s sake. He was willing to take the risk and deal with any consequences if meant helping Sanghyuk get justice for his parents. To any lengths, he’d told him.

To any lengths he would go.

He didn’t have any lyrium at hand for that, but that wasn’t a problem for a blood mage - he didn’t need much, just enough to last until he’d finished reading the letter. Taking a deep breath, he slid out the small knife he carried on his belt. “Alright. Deceit, I have to borrow you for a moment.”

Jaehwan lifted his sleeve up to his shoulder and reached out towards the demon in a silent invitation, and Deceit happily perched itself on Jaehwan’s arm, already sensing what was to come. He eyed it suspiciously for a moment.

“If you don’t behave, I’m telling Daeguni you’ve been a bad demon.” He said, stern, and Deceit flapped its wings briefly. Jaehwan took that as a sign it understood the message.

Taking a deep breath, already preparing for the pain that would follow, Jaehwan rested the blade over the inside of his elbow, closing his eyes as he muttered the incantation under his breath. Slowly, so very slowly, he increased the pressure of the blade until it cut through the sensitive skin, sliding through his flesh as calmly as he could when all he wanted was for it to be over. He could feel the warm blood spilling from his recent wound, running down his arm and trickling down onto his clothes, the ground, and focused on it, pictured it with his mind’s eyes and let the power build.

He’d read about it before, several times and from various sources, but he never thought he’d be doing it himself. Temporary possession wasn’t the type of magic mages were encouraged to experiment with, after all, and Jaehwan was aware that there were risks that came with it. He considered himself a very talented mage, yes, but he wasn’t infallible - if he got distracted, Deceit might get too comfortable in his skin and not wish to leave.

Then he’d become an abomination. He was far too cute to become an abomination.

It didn’t happen all at once. He felt an odd tingle inside his skull, like someone was tickling his brain with a feather, and a lightness in his chest, a fluttering. The tips of his fingers went numb, the weight of the raven once perched on his arm now gone, and his body became warm, as if being engulfed by light. It felt nice. Too nice, and that was a problem, because he could end up liking it too much - that was the catch.

He had to keep himself focused, grounded, aware, and not forget that Deceit, friendly as it was, was still a demon.

It was surprisingly easy to do, likely because he knew the consequences and everything at stake.

When he opened his eyes again, the world looked much different - he could see  _ more _ . He could spot each and every hidden creature, be it inside a hole in the ground or camouflaged against the trunk of a tree. He could hear sounds he wasn’t supposed to, animals calling each other, communicating. Looking up, just out of curiosity, he saw stars he never knew were there before, an entire world of light in the firmament above.

How easy would it be for him to slip and wish to be able to see such sights forever.

He couldn’t. So he looked down, dropping the knife in favor of taking hold of the letter again. He found that the symbols hadn’t changed, but he could understand them as if they had been written in the common tongue. A victorious grin spread over his face. How did Taekwoon not think of it when he was trying to decode the cultists’ letters? He wouldn’t even have to be possessed by Deceit for that, he could hear what the demon had to say.

That wasn’t the best time to wonder about Taekwoon’s thought process, though.

Jaehwan shook his head and focused on the text before him. The letter was short, very to the point, as if the person who wrote had no time to waste during its conception - all it said was there was something related to the jewel, referred there as ‘The Key’, and that that something was lost somewhere— Somewhere in the Silent Plains.

And like a bucket of ice cold water had been dumped over his head, Jaehwan gasped, his body only his again, Deceit perched on his shoulder as if it been there all along.

He was shaking all his muscles twitching with leftover energy and the dread of his discovery.

The Silent Plains.

“Well,” Jaehwan muttered to himself, teeth clattering together as he shivered, “shit.”

 

✶

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i feel like i could have done a much better job on this chapter and it's way too short for my tastes, but it's here! i got a little swamped with work and with my self-given promptfest for halloween month (which is [here](https://archiveofourown.org/series/1147973) if spooky stories are your thing), so all the things i wanted to have finished this week... are not finished. october is turning out to puh-wretty crazy for me, so... yeah. anyways.
> 
> as always, thank you for all the kudos, hits and comments, and for all the messages i get on [twitter](https://twitter.com/ghostlike91) and on [tumblr](https://ghostlike91.tumblr.com/) as well, all of it means the world to me ♡♡♡


	12. So Far Away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> over 200 kudos?? woah, thank you so much!! ///w///
> 
> as always, you can reach me through the comments here, or on [twitter](https://twitter.com/ghostlike91), or if you prefer to stay anonymous you can send me an ask on [tumblr](https://ghostlike91.tumblr.com/) or on [curious cat](https://curiouscat.me/ghostlike), which i recently got off my ass to make.
> 
> enjoy!♡

✶

 

Pink and orange skies greeted Hakyeon when he opened his eyes. He was dreaming again - he knew so. He was dreaming, and for some reason he was lying down on his back while dreaming. Weird.

The air was cool on his skin and sweet on his nose, calming, soothing, and Hakyeon didn’t think he would ever find it in himself to get up, so comfortable he was on that bed of— Bed of what?

His curiosity got the best of him in the end, as it usually did, and Hakyeon propped himself up on his elbows to look around his surroundings. His immediate reaction was to gasp in wonder, scrambling to stand up fully to see further; a sea of red roses, as far as his eyes could see. He’d been lying on a bed of rose petals.

“You said you like roses.”

Hakyeon turned around to face Taekwoon, standing a few paces away from him, his head low as he scratched his left arm with his right hand awkwardly. He couldn’t help but to chuckle, in awe and disbelief. His subconscious deserved a medal, or a parade, or be granted lands and a fancy title for how up to date and elaborate its scenarios were. Incredible.

“Yes.” Hakyeon agreed, swiping off some hair the breeze blew into his eyes with one hand. “I do like roses.”

Taekwoon fidgeted where he stood, shifting his weight from one leg to the other. “Alright. I— I’ll go now.”

“Go where?” Hakyeon asked, taking a couple steps towards the fidgety elf before him. “You don’t want to stay?”

“I—” Taekwoon glanced up at him briefly, shy, always so shy. “I don’t want to bother you.”

“And who said you bother me, silly?” Hakyeon grinned, frowning in confusion. “I like your company.”

For some reason, that seemed to thoroughly puzzle Taekwoon. “You do?”

“Of course I do.” Hakyeon reached out to grab one of Taekwoon’s hands once he was close enough to him. Taekwoon didn’t try to pull away, but didn’t squeeze his hand back either. “Besides, don’t you think you should be allowed to enjoy the ocean of roses you gave me?”

That flustered Taekwoon, his cheeks pinkening. “I— How did you know I gave them to you?”

Hakyeon frowned, confused. “You implied it just now, so I came to my own conclusions. Am I wrong?”

Taekwoon, for some reason, relaxed. “Do you like it?”

It didn’t escape Hakyeon’s notice that Taekwoon didn’t reply to his question, brushing it off completely. He decided not to think too much of it - it was a dream, and dreams were often confusing. “Yes, very much so.” He tightened his hold on Taekwoon’s hand. “Thank you.”

A timid smile appeared on Taekwoon’s lips and he nodded, acknowledging Hakyeon’s gratitude, but said nothing else. Hakyeon sighed and took hold of Taekwoon’s other hand, giving it a gentle tug. He knew that silence. “What’s wrong?”

Taekwoon gave him a one-shouldered shrug. “Nothing.”

“Taekwoon, what did I tell you?” Hakyeon asked, stern like a parent educating a child.

“That I shouldn’t lie to you.” Taekwoon diligently replied, not meeting his gaze. “I’m sorry.”

“Will you tell me what’s wrong? Please?” Hakyeon requested in a soothing tone, trying to get Taekwoon to look up at him. He didn’t.

“Are you mad at me?” Taekwoon asked, making Hakyeon confused for a moment before elaborating, “Because I don’t tell you things?” 

Hakyeon pursed his lips as he considered it for a second, even in dreams not wanting to say the wrong thing and hurt Taekwoon’s feelings. “I’m not mad. I’m— Frustrated, I guess.”

Taekwoon bowed his head and tried pulling his hands back. “I’m sorry—”

“None of that.” Hakyeon didn’t let him go, twining their fingers together and squeezing his hands tight, but carefully. “All I want is to get to know you. I don’t want to force you to tell me anything, and I understand that there are things you don’t feel comfortable sharing, but— It’s hard when you lie. It… Hurts.”

Taekwoon stared at him with a stricken expression on his face. “I don’t want to hurt you.”

“I know.” Hakyeon gave him a tight-lipped smile. “And I also know you don’t owe me anything, you’re not forced to answer my every question and reveal your every secret.”

“I want to.” Taekwoon finally squeezed Hakyeon’s hands back. “I really want to, but I’m— You’ll leave too.”

“You keep saying that.” Hakyeon, overcome with a sudden wave of bravado brought on by his concern with Taekwoon’s words, reached up one hand to cup his face gently. “Who left you?”

Taekwoon lowered his eyes once more. “Everyone.”

Hakyeon’s immediate reaction was to shake his head, denying the fact. His mind couldn’t process the information, as if Taekwoon had spoken a different language. How could anyone leave him? How could  _ everyone _ leave him? As much as he still had to learn about Taekwoon, he couldn’t think of a plausible reason for him to be alone, for people to want to be away from him. Taekwoon could be intimidating at times, with his stoic, brooding demeanor, but he was sweet and kind and lovable; it didn’t make sense. It didn’t make  _ any _ sense.

“I— I can’t believe that, surely not everyone left you.”

Taekwoon exhaled slowly, expression so sad Hakyeon could practically see his shattered heart. His lack of response was an answer all on its own, and Hakyeon did the first thing that crossed his mind and pulled Taekwoon towards himself, hugging him tight, like his arms could somehow shield him from any more pain.

“I’m not leaving you.”

“Don’t.” Taekwoon shook his head, pushing Hakyeon away. “Please, don’t.”

“Taekwoon—”

“It’ll just hurt more later.” Taekwoon stepped away from him, to keep Hakyeon from pulling him back. “Don’t.”

Hakyeon groaned in frustration, running one hand through his hair. His vision was becoming blurry already, and he didn’t want to start crying like he always did - it didn’t look like it was something he’d be able to stop, however. “Even in dreams— Even in dreams all you do is push me away, this is— Why can’t I have just this, it’s my own dream!”

Taekwoon flinched at the outburst. “I’m sorry.”

“Stop saying you’re sorry.” Hakyeon sighed and stepped closer to Taekwoon again, cupping his face with both hands this time while looking in his eyes, trying to see into them, into his soul. “Why do I keep dreaming about you? What’s the point in dreaming of you if you just keep running away, exactly like you do when I’m awake?”

“Hakyeon—”

“We talked about so many things, we danced, we cuddled, you gave me an endless field of roses, and nothing’s changed!” Hakyeon closed his eyes and took a deep breath, reeling in his emotions, his tears, before gazing up at Taekwoon again. “It feels like I’m stuck in the same place and I’m so tired of this.”

Taekwoon’s expression became blank, a carefully crafted façade to hide his feelings. “If you want to stop dreaming of me—”

“That’s not it, that’s— That’s not the point.” Hakyeon let Taekwoon go in order to rub his hands over his own face. “This is a dream. My dream. I want it to be a happy dream for once, and if not happy, then just a good dream where I don’t wake up feeling lonely and frustrated.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Stop apologizing.” Hakyeon let his arms drop limp at his sides, too drained emotionally to keep them up anymore. “Can’t we— I don’t know, sit down on this beautiful place and just talk?”

Taekwoon eyed him warily. “Talk?”

“Yes,  _ talk _ . About anything, about the silliest, most mundane things, about the weather or battle techniques or whatever else.” Hakyeon paused upon noticing he was raising his voice again. “Even if I’m the only one talking, I don’t care. I just want for us to be close.”

Taekwoon’s shoulders were hunched, the elf trying to make himself look smaller. “You’re angry.”

“I’m not angry, I already told you I’m not.” Hakyeon sighed, tired. Giving himself a few seconds to ponder over his next question, Hakyeon leveled his gaze with Taekwoon, and as seriously as he could in the state he was in, asked, “What are we doing?”

Taekwoon opened his mouth to reply, but closed it just as soon, shaking his head helplessly. “I don’t know.”

Hakyeon nodded as he took a long, deep breath. He was expecting that; it didn’t make it any better, though. “And yet I’m still dreaming about you.”

“I can leave.”

Hakyeon chortled and stepped closer to Taekwoon once again. “I don’t want you to.”

Taekwoon licked his bottom lip anxiously. “What do you want, then?”

“I want us to stop arguing and to enjoy all the roses you gave me.” Hakyeon said with a simple shrug, smiling softly up at Taekwoon. “Do you think that’s something we can do?”

“Yes.” Taekwoon replied immediately with a short nod and Hakyeon took hold of one of his hands again.

“Good. This is a dream, it should be pleasant.” Hakyeon gave Taekwoon’s hand a tug to prompt him to follow him once he began walking. “No point talking about real things here, it’s not going to solve anything in the end.”

Taekwoon didn’t reply, following him in silence. Hakyeon didn’t mind, not truly - he was more used to Taekwoon’s silences now, knew that his lack of reply didn’t equal to a lack of interest. Where Taekwoon didn’t talk much, he was otherwise a good listener, attentive, and if he had something to add to the conversation, he would do so.

As Hakyeon was learning, the silence was one of Taekwoon’s many peculiarities he found deeply endearing. That elf had so many little quirks, gestures and expressions so subtle one might miss completely - the only reason why Hakyeon had noticed was because he was very invested on learning more about Taekwoon. And because he liked looking at him. Not in a creepy way, in a longing way.

...Those might be one and the same. Maybe he should stop staring at Taekwoon. Yes.

“I’m sorry I snapped at you just now.” Hakyeon decided to break the ice. “Like I said, I’m just frustrated.”

“I understand.” Taekwoon muttered. “It’s my fault, in the end. I should have stayed away from you.”

“What?” Hakyeon stopped walking, staring up at Taekwoon looking like the living portrait of bafflement. “It’s not— What are you even saying?”

“I’m hurting you.” The words were said as if they were obvious.

“Not in the way you think.” Hakyeon squeezed Taekwoon’s hand, a silent plea for him to understand. “It’s— I hate being confused, and you’re the most confusing person I have ever met. I guess I was just hoping to know where I stand.”

“Where you stand?” Taekwoon echoed, and Hakyeon took a few seconds to choose his words, eyes lowering to the ground.

“What I mean to you. What I hope I  _ could _ mean to you.” Hakyeon let out a shaky breath, biting his bottom lip nervously. He was afraid to look up at Taekwoon, to face him, to see his reaction.

“Hakyeon.” Taekwoon called in a whisper, gentle, so gentle, and Hakyeon felt it like a caress. Taekwoon’s free hand came up to cup his cheek, guiding his face up so they were looking at each other. 

The expression on Taekwoon’s face took his breath away.

“You mean everything.” Taekwoon’s confession was shy, shaky, but no less firm, a certainty he clearly had for a long time. His eyes were so intense, so full of promise, that Hakyeon wanted to just drown in them, let himself sink into that darkness. “You  _ are _ everything.”

“Taekwoon—” Hakyeon started but caught himself. It was too much, it was too real, and he could  _ feel _ Taekwoon’s breath ghosting over his own lips, the cool temperature of his fingertips on his cheek, how round and plump and inviting and pink his lips looked and he couldn’t handle it. It was too much, too much.

It wasn’t enough.

“I would do anything for you.” Taekwoon said without any hesitation, without blinking or flinching or showing any signs he didn’t mean every single word, and Hakyeon felt as if he were about to burst with happiness, like he was about to start crying and laughing like a lunatic at the same time, and he wanted to get out of there, he wanted to wake up and stop fooling himself because it was all just a dream and it  _ hurt _ , it hurt so damn much— 

And then Taekwoon was moving away from him, looking beyond the sea of roses like an animal who hears an unexpected sound, his head cocked to the side in attention, eyes wide and alert. Hakyeon held his breath so it wouldn’t distract him and tried to listen for whatever Taekwoon could hear.

There was no sound.

Ugh, not that again.

“Taekwoon?” Hakyeon called, and the elf stared back at him.

“I have to go.”

“Wha— Why?” Hakyeon asked, but Taekwoon was already stepping back, away.

Before Hakyeon could even think of going after him, stopping him from leaving, Taekwoon leaned back and let himself fall into the roses, petals flying, scattering everywhere with the disturbance.

Hakyeon hurried to the spot where Taekwoon had fallen, concerned he could have hurt himself -  _ it’s a dream, idiot, get a grip _ \- but there was nothing there but a bed of rose petals. Taekwoon was gone. Taekwoon was gone, and Hakyeon was alone again.

 

✶✶✶

 

Sanghyuk was having the most pleasant dream.

He was back at his chambers in Castrum Draconis, sunlight streaming through the window and the smell of freshly baked bread from the kitchens far below wafting in along with it. His sheets were soft and warm, his bed comfortable, and the best part was that Jaehwan was there, in his arms, expression sleepy as he looked up at him with that lopsided smile of his on his lips. Jaehwan looked relaxed, happy, entirely at ease with being in Sanghyuk’s embrace; it wasn’t a new dream, and he would certainly have that same dream many times in the future, but each and every time he had it, Sanghyuk wished to never wake up.

If he did, he would never see Jaehwan looking like that again. He would never hold him close like that, enjoy a lazy morning in bed with him.

Dreams were all he had. All he would  _ ever _ have, he sadly knew.

Sanghyuk grazed his fingertips over Jaehwan’s cheek, down the side of his neck to his shoulder, slow and reverent, hearing Jaehwan sigh with delight at the caress, eyes fluttering shut. Sanghyuk, unable to contain himself, pressed gentle kisses to Jaehwan’s forehead, his eyelids, the tip of his nose, his cheeks— His lips. Were Jaehwan’s lips that soft in reality too? He would never know.

“So lovey dovey today. What’s the occasion?” Jaehwan asked, snuggling closer to Sanghyuk, burrowing deeper in his embrace.

“No occasion.” Sanghyuk replied before kissing the crown of Jaehwan’s head. “Just happy.”

“Careful, Your Highness,” Jaehwan tipped his head up to look at him, laughter in his voice, “if you keep this up people will start thinking you’re in love with me or something.”

“Good. Let them all know.” Sanghyuk rolled over so he was lying on top of Jaehwan, peppering kisses all over his face, heart bursting with joy as he listened to Jaehwan’s adorable giggles. “I’ll tell them myself, I’ll hire town-criers to spread the information and shout it from the highest tower in Castrum Draconis.”

Another wave of giggles erupted from Jaehwan’s mouth. “You’re an idiot.” Jaehwan shook his head, wrapping his arms around Sanghyuk’s neck to pull him down for a quick kiss before whispering against his lips, “I love you.”

“And I love you.” Sanghyuk pressed another kiss to Jaehwan’s lips, and another, and another. And one more, for good measure.

“Hyogi.” Jaehwan called his nickname in a singsongey voice. “Can you do something for me?”

“Of course, anything.” Sanghyuk agreed without a second’s hesitation, not even bothering to ask what it was.

Jaehwan looked up at him, entire worlds in his eyes, and with a smile said, “Wake up.”

Sanghyuk frowned. “What?”

“I said,” Jaehwan said, his voice shifting into Taekwoon’s as he said, “wake up.”

Sanghyuk jerked awake, flailing his legs and sitting up, thoroughly disturbed by the change in Jaehwan’s voice. Taekwoon was crouched down next to him, eyeing him with some concern.

“Are you alright?”

Sanghyuk cleared his throat, trying to cover up how flustered he was with the rough awakening in the middle of what he considered to be a very intimate dream - more intimate than all the many steamier dreams he’d had featuring Jaehwan in the past. “Y-yeah, I just— You scared me.”

“I’m sorry.” Taekwoon said, although he looked more cautious than truly apologetic.

“Uh, anyways!” Sanghyuk’s voice was an octave too high, but Taekwoon didn’t appear to have noticed it. “What’s up?”

Taekwoon tilted his head and blinked a couple times, now finally realizing Sanghyuk was acting a little off. He didn’t ask any questions, though - and thank the Maker for that. “I’ve received a message from Jaehwan.”

That was enough to get Sanghyuk’s attention. “Is he alright?”

“Yes, he’s fine.” Taekwoon nodded to confirm. “He has, however, made some sort of discovery. He didn’t elaborate on it, only said that we are to meet in Caimen Brea.”

Sanghyuk arched an eyebrow at that. “Caimen Brea? As in, Caimen Brea, which sits right on the border with Tevinter?”

“Yes.”

After taking a deep breath, Sanghyuk said, “I’m sure he has a very good reason for telling us to go right into the snakes’ nest, but I’ll give him a piece of my mind once we meet up.”

“I’m sure he wouldn’t have decided that if he didn’t think it was necessary.”

“I know.” Sanghyuk sighed, throwing off his blanket so he could get up to gather his things. “I’m just so tired of him charging towards danger like this. He’s still alone, you know.”

“He won’t be alone for long.” Taekwoon said before he stood up to go wake the others, and those words certainly did work wonders in Sanghyuk’s resolve.

Damn right Jaehwan wouldn’t be alone for long.

None of them was very talkative when they set out; Wonshik was half asleep on his feet, stumbling forward like a zombie; Hongbin was only a little more alert than Wonshik, yawning every other two minutes; Hakyeon had his eyes trained ahead and avoiding Taekwoon like the plague, for some reason; Taekwoon looked grim - more grim than he usually did - and his expression was one of concern, but he didn’t voice what that concern could be; and Sanghyuk himself was… Eh. He wasn’t feeling particularly great, but he was also not feeling bad either. He was— He felt like he had a goal to achieve. Something pushing him forward.

They had traveled northwest for most of the morning, pausing to eat and rest for only an hour before they continued on their path, Fear flying high above them keeping watch. The road they were in was scarcely traveled and littered with debris, roots and pebbles, which made maneuvering there tricky - they were doing their best, tripping here and there but not stopping, wanting to make the most out of their time and reach Caimen Brea as soon as they possibly could.

Caimen Brea. Sanghyuk wasn’t sure that was the brightest idea, but he could easily agree with Taekwoon when he said Jaehwan must have a good reason to tell them to head that way.

Like Hakyeon said once, they were like a bunch of headless chickens running straight to the furnace.

It made him antsy, anxious, though, this running around searching for clues. Sanghyuk loved learning and discovering new things, he had loved it since he was a child, but in this particular situation it felt like a pointless waste of energy - it felt like wasting time, playing detective like children searching for hidden treats on Wintersend. He hoped that, whatever Jaehwan had discovered, was something that would lead them somewhere closer to the end of it all, to answers, not to more questions.

He wanted that ordeal to be over. He wanted to go home. He wanted to go home and sleep on his own bed and eat decent cooked meals and wear his favorite clothes. He wanted not to have to bandage his face every single time they set out somewhere to hide his scales, he wanted— He wanted his life back.

Of course, it would never be the same - it could never be the same, not after the massacre, not after his parents’ murder, not after the ballroom of Castrum Draconis had been forever stained with the blood of so many people Sanghyuk had known. He wasn’t even sure which of those people had managed to escape, how many had lost their lives. It felt like he was already failing as a king, and he hadn’t even been crowned yet.

Sanghyuk huffed, frustrated, fishing out the jewel he had put earlier inside his pocket and holding it up before him at eye height. All that trouble for that tiny little thing.

_ You ruined everything _ , he wanted to hiss at the jewel, but held back from doing so - he settled for just glaring at it, mouth twisting and nose scrunching and eyes narrowing. If it wasn’t for that stupid little thing they wouldn’t be in that situation, they wouldn’t have to be running for their lives, hopping from place to place like butterflies tasting flowers at the cusp of spring.

What was so important about that stupid brooch anyway? It wasn’t even that pretty, for starters. Sure, it had been imbued with powerful ancient magic and whatever else, but— It was just a brooch. It was decoration. They shouldn’t be going through so much trouble for  _ decoration _ .

Fair, they didn’t know what exactly that thing could do. It could be a deathly weapon, even. Jaehwan would know, certainly. He wouldn’t be telling them to haul ass to Caimen Brea over nothing.

He kept staring at the jewel, wondering what it could do— Wondering where Jaehwan was. Taekwoon said he was about three days away from them, and that he was alive. It was a comfort knowing that, but Sanghyuk had the distinct impression that Taekwoon wasn’t saying everything - it was a feeling he often had when he spoke to that mysterious Dalish elf.

Secrets. All those secrets. He hated secrets. He was weary of them.

So caught up in his thoughts he was, he completely forgot that he was walking on a dirt road littered with obstacles that went from very large rocks and pebbles to overgrown roots that poked from underneath the earth.

It was on one of those overgrown roots that Sanghyuk tripped and which caused him to fall on his belly, the jewel flying off from his grasp. It hit the ground with a muffled little  _ tunk _ and it bounced a couple times, landing inside a puddle near Sanghyuk’s head.

“Ouch.” Sanghyuk groaned as used his hands for balance and to push himself up. In a blink, both Hakyeon and Wonshik were at his sides, hauling him back up.

“You ok?” Hakyeon asked, eyes going up and down Sanghyuk’s body in a fussy attempt of locating any wounds.

“I’m fine,  _ mom _ .” Sanghyuk teased, and Hakyeon clucked his tongue, twisted his mouth and gave him a neck chop, but didn’t complain about the nickname.

“You have to watch where you’re going, this road is a bit messy.” Wonshik advised and Sanghyuk only nodded, fighting back the urge to groan ‘ _ I know _ ’ like a petulant child.

Then, once the duo let him go, Sanghyuk bent down to retrieve the jewel. He made a face, since the thing was now muddy and wet and dripping and gross. He wiped it on the rim of his tunic until it was dry enough, tipping his head up to pray to the Maker for patience, when he spotted Fear diving from the sky towards the direction where they’d come from. Sanghyuk frowned, turning around as to not lose sight of the raven. That— Did not seem like a good sign.

“Uhm... Guys?” Sanghyuk called, voice shaky, and all heads turned to him. The rest of the group followed his line of sight to the demon, confused expressions on all their faces - except Taekwoon.

“We have to run.” The Dalish said, urgent, and when the others only stared dumbly at him, Taekwoon nearly shouted as he already started to move, voice cracking as his vocal chords were not used to that volume, “Run!”

Wonshik didn’t have to be told twice, immediately grabbing Hongbin by the wrist and sprinting down the road with the elf in tow. Hakyeon also didn’t argue Taekwoon’s order, rushing after them, and Sanghyuk could do nothing but follow, falling into step with the others as they ran through the road like a horde of wild antelopes, dust rising in their wake.

“What is going on!?” Sanghyuk yelled to no one in particular, and Wonshik was the one who chose to answer.

“No fucking clue!” He shouted over his shoulder, still dragging a stumbling Hongbin behind him.

They let Taekwoon lead, and Taekwoon easily slipped into the role of guide, steering them out of the road and into the wilderness that sided it. The trees there were barren and thin, brittle looking, and it was hard to maneuver between them as close as they were to one another, so many of them, and the sheer amount of trees made the light of day grow dim and gray, like a perpetual dusk. There were no sounds other than their own hurried footsteps, no sounds of animals or anything - anyone - pursuing them, but Taekwoon kept running, making sudden turns and changing directions so many times it was clear he was trying to shake something off their tail.

Sanghyuk had no idea how long they ran, or how far or where they were after so many twists and turns, but finally, after what felt like forever, Taekwoon stopped, crouching down on the floor with his head low, breathing hard. Hongbin let his legs give out, falling on the floor on his knees. Wonshik basically flopped down to the ground, limbs sprawled open, belly up, staring at the canopy of twisted branches overhead. Hakyeon leaned against a tree, all but hugging it, head resting on the dried up trunk. 

And Sanghyuk stopped, hands on his hips and head tipped upwards, mouth wide open to suck in as much air as he could possibly inhale.

“Alright, what the fuck just happened?” Hakyeon was the first to recover enough to speak, turning his head towards Taekwoon without moving it away from where it was resting against the tree. Taekwoon took a deep breath and got up from his crouch, turning to the rest of the group.

“Someone was following us.” He started, panting from the exertion. “Fear is trying to distract whoever it is, but Fear can only do so much.”

“Oh, for fuck’s sake.” Hongbin groaned, leaning back on his palms and stretching his legs on the ground. His shirt was sticking to his body with sweat. “When we think it can’t get any worse—”

“Who in Andraste’s name can it be?” Sanghyuk asked, running his hand through his hair to move it away from where it clung to his forehead. 

Taekwoon shrugged, eyes low and lost. “I don’t know. Maybe the cultists, or templars, or mercenaries, or random bandits…” 

“So it could have been anyone?” Wonshik concluded, still sprawled on the ground, looking up. He looked more than a little dead, eyes wide and glazed, pale, skin shiny with sweat.

Taekwoon raised one shoulder, but only barely; Sanghyuk figured that was meant to be a shrug, one that Taekwoon was just too tired to convey properly. “Anyone with ill intentions towards us. Fear can read into people’s emotions and intentions, if Fear reacted like that—”

“Maker’s breath, can’t we catch a break?” Wonshik groaned, interrupting Taekwoon.

“No, we can’t.” Taekwoon said, matter-of-factly. “We have to keep moving.”

“What about whoever’s following us?” Hakyeon asked, a hint of urgency in his voice.

“We’ll try to lose them. Take some odd turns, maybe double back around.”

“Great.”

“Oh, here.” Sanghyuk moved forward, extending the jewel towards Taekwoon; he didn’t want to hold onto it anymore. The dragon shaped indent left on his palm after clutching it so hard as they ran was all he could deal with at the moment. Let Taekwoon have the damn thing. 

Taekwoon looked at him for a moment, thoughtful, then crouched down again and got a hold of his pack. From there he plucked a tattered old shirt, stained in some places, and used it to wrap around the jewel. Then, he shoved it back into his pack and flung it over his shoulder again, getting up.

“I’ll feed it to Fear once it’s back from— Whatever it is it’s doing. Fear will keep it safe.” He said, already beginning to walk away. “Let’s go, the further we get from our pursuers, the better.”

Reluctantly and making all sorts of noise in protest, they got up and hauled their packs onto their backs again, trudging through that creepy forest as fast as they could without collapsing.

Sanghyuk thought better not to mention, but he had a very bad feeling about it all.

 

✶✶✶

 

Wonshik didn’t remember the last time they had walked for so long without stopping - probably because they never had. It was dusk when they finally found a place to settle down and make a camp, the five of them shaking with fatigue and about to drop. Hongbin’s hands were trembling when he tried grabbing his pack, and Wonshik stepped in and slid it off his back for him. Hongbin smiled softly at him, weak, as if even smiling was too much effort.

Wonshik understood. 

They decided not to start a fire, not to prepare supper from scratch, opting for just eating bread and fruits and sleeping close together to keep each other warm. It wasn’t pleasant - they were tired, sticky with sweat, scratched all over from the branches that had caught on their skin, sore and definitely not in the mood for cuddling, but it was either that or freeze and they still had far too much to do to freeze just yet.

Wonshik offered to stand guard, taking the spot in the outermost place from where they chose to set down their bedrolls. Taekwoon was on the other side, Hakyeon next to him, followed by Sanghyuk in the middle, and Hongbin lastly, now laying down behind Wonshik himself. It was a cozy little corner that they’d found, surrounded by clustered trees and hard to reach, and Wonshik was guarding the best entrance. They’d be fine. He wouldn’t let anyone hurt them.

He could barely see in the dark, the canopy of branches too thick to truly let the moonlight through, but he could see enough, hear enough, to be prepared in case something or someone tried to attack them. He was looking around, bored but alert, when he felt a gentle tug on the back of his shirt.

He turned around slightly, finding Hongbin’s big brown eyes open and watching him with a mysterious glow. They caught the little light that got through in a way that was eerie, almost ethereal. Those elven eyes of his.

“Hey.” Hongbin whispered, smiling softly up at him from where he was still lying down on his bedroll.

“Hi.” Wonshik couldn’t help but to smile back. “You should go back to sleep.”

“You should sleep too. I can take over for you, for a while.” Hongbin offered, earnest, but Wonshik shook his head to decline.

“No, I’m fine. You’re more tired than I am.” Wonshik said, trying to ignore how Hongbin’s hand was resting on his lower back. “I’ll keep watch for as long as I can, and if I feel I can’t continue I’ll wake you, alright?”

Hongbin scowled at him, and even in the dark he could see the judgemental glare he was shooting him. “You’re tired too. You’ve been up long enough, Shikkie.”

Wonshik thanked the Maker in thoughts that it was too dark for Hongbin to be able to see just how red his face had gotten; Hongbin hadn’t called him ‘Shikkie’ in over a decade. “But—”

“No ‘buts’.” Hongbin argued as he pushed himself up. Wonshik felt one of his hands resting on his waist, just above his hip. It sent shivers down his spine - the good kind. “I know you have a bit of a hero complex, but you’re still human. You need to rest sometimes.”

“I’m alright, Bin.” The nickname slipped out before he could catch himself. Hongbin leaned his chin on his shoulder, his warm breath hitting the sensitive skin under his ear. “Just— Go back to sleep.”

“Will you sleep with me?” Hongbin asked, teasing, and Wonshik felt the heat rising in his cheeks.

“N-no! You’ll sleep on your own.”

“But it’s so cold tonight.” Hongbin almost purred the words, one of his hands moving up and down the length of Wonshik’s arm. “We could keep each other warm.”

“Hongbin—”

“Just let me keep watch, hm?” Hongbin asked, baritone low next to his ear, and Wonshik wondered if that was what melted chocolate would sound like if it could talk. “I worry about you.”

Wonshik closed his eyes and sighed. Hongbin. Trust Hongbin to always know how to breach all his defenses. Slowly, he nodded. Hongbin smiled gently at him and combed his hair with his fingers slowly, tenderly, before he moved so they could switch places, Wonshik lying on the bedroll Hongbin had just vacated.

“Get some sleep, alright?” Hongbin said, leaning over Wonshik, fingertips glazing over the skin of his cheek. “Rest.” His fingertips trailed the bridge of his nose, the shape of his lips, his chin. “I’ll be right here next to you.”

“Is getting you sleepy the only way of seeing the sweet side of you?” Wonshik mumbled, slurring his words a bit as he was already half gone. Hongbin chuckled, light, airy.

“No. My sweet side is something I reserve to show only to you.” Hongbin smiled, dimples and all, and Wonshik felt himself relax, eyes closing on their own. “Sleep, Shikkie. I’ll make sure nothing bad happens.”

Wonshik nodded, slow and lazy, and let Hongbin’s gentle fingertips lull him into the land of dreams.

 

✶✶✶

 

It looked like the kitchen of Chansik’s house, but also not - the real kitchen in Chansik’s house was greyer, darker, and it smelled of flour and sugar. This kitchen was bright, the windows wide open letting the sunlight in, and it smelled of… Hakyeon wasn’t sure. Like the earth after the rain. Like clothes, just washed, left out in the sun to dry. Like fresh coffee in a cold morning. Like chocolate.

It smelled of comfort.

And, of course, Taekwoon was there. Hakyeon sighed, unimpressed, staring at the elf who was standing a few paces away, near the table. Taekwoon looked shy, fidgety, in a way that was both adorable and annoying, considering his latest dream starring the elf - in his previous dream, Taekwoon basically  _ confessed _ to him, and now there he was, looking like a lost child waiting for his mother to pick him up in her arms and tuck him into bed. 

It was pissing Hakyeon off. He would have to take matters into his own hands.

Fair, he also spent the entire day feeling self-conscious and exposed, even knowing it had all been a dream and that real Taekwoon had no idea what transpired in his dream; it wasn’t that Taekwoon who spoke words of devotion to him, who said Hakyeon was his everything.

But he wasn’t awake at that very moment, he was dreaming. It was  _ his _ dream anyway. It was his dream, so he was free to make up the rules of that game, right? He didn’t have to just sit there and wait for Dream Taekwoon to make a damn move, he could take the reigns of his own stupid subconscious.

He licked his dry lips idly, quietly observing Taekwoon while leaning back on the counter behind him, hands resting on its edges. Taekwoon shot him furtive glances from time to time, face red as a ripe strawberry, hands clasped tensely in front of himself.

Adorable. Annoying.

“So.” Hakyeon started, and Taekwoon flinched like Hakyeon had whipped him. “I’m dreaming of you again.”

“I’m sor—”

“I’m dreaming of you again,” Hakyeon interrupted, raising his voice just a little to indicate that Taekwoon should let him finish, “and the last time I dreamed of you, you said I mean everything to you. Does that still apply?”

Taekwoon blinked, lifting his gaze from the floor to Hakyeon, eyes wide with surprise as he was clearly not expecting that question. “Yes. It does.”

“So I’m everything to you?” Hakyeon repeated, and Taekwoon nodded.

“Yes. You are.”

“And that means you want me?” 

“Wh— What? I—” Taekwoon stammered, looking around nervously as if searching for the nearest escape route.

“It’s a very simple question, Taekwoonie.” The nickname rolled off his tongue too easily despite being the first time he used it. Taekwoon glanced up at him upon hearing it, surprise obvious in his eyes. “Do you want me?”

Hakyeon fought back the urge to grin smugly when Taekwoon’s face became even redder and his eyes skittered away to the floor once again.

“...Yes.” He muttered, barely audible, like that confession was something shameful, something wrong. Hakyeon didn’t like the sound of that, the tone behind his words.

“And this is my dream, right?”

Taekwoon’s eyes found Hakyeon’s again, and the elf blinked that lazy cat way of his that never failed to make Hakyeon’s heart stutter. “Yes, it is.”

“Which means I make the rules?”

Taekwoon frowned at the question. “Yes, I… I suppose you do.”

“Mm… Good.” Hakyeon nodded lazily and pushed himself away from the counter, taking the three steps that separated him and Taekwoon deliberately slow, a little sway to his hips. 

Hakyeon was an attractive man and he was very much aware of it.

Taekwoon was frozen to the spot, just watching as Hakyeon came closer and closer, eyes wide and lips slightly parted. Hakyeon placed one hand on either side of Taekwoon’s body on the table, trapping him there, pressing himself flush against the elf. Taekwoon swallowed audibly, face flushed with something other than embarrassment.

“Hakyeon?” Taekwoon called, shaky, uncertain, as he looked down at Hakyeon.

“What? You don’t want this?” Taekwoon’s hands came up to clutch at Hakyeon’s shoulders like he had absolutely no idea what to do with them. Hakyeon just pressed even closer to him, positioning himself in a way that would allow them all the contact possible, one of his legs between Taekwoon’s. “Dream or not, if you ask me to stop, I will stop right away.”

Taekwoon’s expression was difficult to read so many emotions it was portraying; longing, fear, uncertainty, want. Taekwoon bit his lips, fingers digging into Hakyeon’s shirt over his shoulders.

“I thought you were angry with me.” Taekwoon confessed in a whisper, and Hakyeon’s eyebrows shot up with surprise; he wasn’t expecting that change of tone, not when he had Taekwoon pressed against a table. He nuzzled at Taekwoon’s cheek, hands sliding to his lower back in a loose embrace.

“I’m not, I told you I’m not, silly.” Hakyeon smiled against the soft skin of the elf’s cheek, shivering when he felt Taekwoon’s warm breath near his ear.

“You barely looked at me today.” Taekwoon continued, now burying his face on the crook of Hakyeon’s neck as if searching for comfort. Hakyeon pulled him closer, tightening his hold on him.

“I’m looking at you right now.” Hakyeon brought one hand up to Taekwoon’s face, cupping his jaw gently to guide him to look at him again. Taekwoon let him. “I’m not angry. Or do you think I’d be touching you like this if I was angry?”

The question renewed Taekwoon’s blush and he bit his lips shyly, shoulders hunching like the elf was trying to make himself look smaller. Hakyeon smiled fondly at him, heart warming up from inside out, and sighed, leaning his forehead on Taekwoon’s. The awareness that he was in way too deep was never so tangible, so strong, but— It was just a dream. He could give in to his desires in a dream, couldn’t he?

“It’s alright.” Hakyeon spoke in soothing tone, hushed and gentle, his hand moving from Taekwoon’s cheek to the side of his neck, his thumb rubbing the skin there softly. “This is alright. It’s just a very good dream.”

Hakyeon leaned in to finally -  _ finally _ \- end the distance between, to kiss Taekwoon like he’d been wanting to do for weeks, but just before he could close his lips over Taekwoon’s, the elf jerked back, out of reach.

Hakyeon’s heart sank, and he was unable to keep the disappointment and confusion from showing on his features. “Taekwoon?”

“Not like this.” Taekwoon shook his head, a deep frown on his face. “Not like this, this is wrong.”

“Taekwoon, what are you talking about?”

Taekwoon was still then, silent, silent for long enough for the lack of sound to be ominous.

“Hakyeon.” Taekwoon called his name, and there was something in his voice that alarmed Hakyeon, his feline eyes watching him intensely, a note of fear in their depths.

“What’s wrong?” Hakyeon brought one hand up to Taekwoon’s face, caressing his cheekbone softly with his thumb in an attempt of soothing him. Whatever it was, no matter how disappointed Hakyeon was at that turn of events, Taekwoon was clearly distressed.

Taekwoon closed his eyes, breathing out a shaky sigh before speaking. “It’s not a dream.”

“What?” Hakyeon frowned, confused, and Taekwoon was shaking his head frantically now, eyes low to the ground.

“It’s not a dream. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”

“Taekwoon, what—”

“ _ —ack! _ ” The foreign voice sounded through the small kitchen as if coming from under water, and Hakyeon pulled back and turned in search of the voice. It sounded like Hongbin. Then the voice rang again, and this time it was loud and clear. “We’re under attack,  _ wake the fuck up! _ ”

Hakyeon’s return to consciousness was jerky and sudden, and he sat up abruptly to look around. Hongbin was on the other side of the camp, still yelling for them to wake up. Wonshik was already on his feet, longsword and shield in hands and charging, and Sanghyuk was stumbling up onto his feet, blinking blearily and wobbling towards where his greatsword was resting.

And Taekwoon—

Hakyeon felt it, then, a weight on his hand and looked down, finding that his hand, his fingers, were twined with Taekwoon’s, palms warm with each other’s heat as if they had been like that for a while. Lifting his gaze up to the elf’s face, he found his eyes wide, shiny with tears and fear.

Shit.

It wasn’t a dream.

“I’m sorry.” He heard Taekwoon mutter, shaky, before the elf pulled his hand away and rushed to his own weapons, leaving a dumbstruck Hakyeon behind to do the same.

Later he would reserve a moment to die of mortification for the way he acted in front of Dream Taekwoon who turned out to be Actual Taekwoon, but right now he forced himself not to think about it and get up, grab his daggers and follow the others. He could hear the sounds of fighting, of swords clashing and arrows flying, screams and grunts and shouting, he could see fire, torches, and he had just been sleeping and it was too much, there was too much going on for him to fully process what was happening.

Hakyeon was still groggy with sleep, his vision still foggy, blurry, and he wished he had the time to throw some water on his face to be able to focus, but the world would not be kind enough to stop spinning just so he could get his bearings. He could see the others fighting in the edges of his field of sight, he could see Wonshik ahead fighting off two robed assailants, his shield swinging left and right in front of him and his sword slashing down over and over again. Sanghyuk was closer to Hakyeon, covered in splatters of blood from head to toes, but Hakyeon was relieved to find that it was all from others he had already cut down, none from any wounds the princeling might have suffered himself. Hongbin was fighting one of the robed people, slashing away with his daggers at incredible speed and precision. And Taekwoon… Oh, Taekwoon. He couldn’t think of Taekwoon right now, not without blushing and losing focus.

He could see Taekwoon moving, fast, always so fast, somewhere to his left, this time having preferred his daggers to his arrows. Hakyeon wanted to stop and watch him, how quick and effortlessly that beautiful elf moved, but there was a masked person running towards him and Hakyeon had to keep himself grounded. He could sigh over Taekwoon’s awesomeness at a later time.

The masked person charged at him, holding a longsword in one hand, and Hakyeon braced himself, managing to step aside just in time for the first blow to miss him. He got into position, the battle stance coming easily to him, second nature, just as his foe regained their balance and turned to attack him once more.

He blocked the first blow, wincing at the loud metallic sound when the masked man’s sword met his daggers, and with only one hand he slashed forward, managing to scratch the surface of the black mask. The man jerked his head back to get away, leaving his throat open and Hakyeon saw the opportunity to end it and quickly shoved his dagger through the man’s throat in a quick and simple motion. He grimaced at the sticky, warm feeling of the man’s blood when it spilled over his hand and pulled his dagger back, watching the man fall limp to the floor. He was shaking from fear and adrenaline, his grip on his dagger becoming slippery because of the blood, but he forced himself to stay focused despite all the warring emotions in his heart, whirling around in search of his next target.

And, of course, his eyes immediately tracked Taekwoon down. Hakyeon rushed to his side, the elf too busy to notice his approach while fighting off two masked men at the same time. He was doing pretty well on his own, but Hakyeon would be damned if he just let Taekwoon -  _ oh, Taekwoon _ \- alone at a time like that.

He had almost reached the elf when a third assailant materialized seemingly out of thin air in front of him, and Hakyeon only had time enough to react by throwing himself back to the floor to dodge the sword the man was swinging, avoiding it by mere inches. He grunted when his back hit the ground but didn’t dwell on the pain, kicking one leg forward with all his might and hitting the man on the knee, making the stranger gasp and stumble back, giving Hakyeon time to get back up.

The time he snatched for himself wasn’t enough, however, and he didn’t get ready in time before the man landed another blow at him. Hakyeon flinched, closing his eyes, but the impact never came.

He opened his eyes just in time to see that Taekwoon - oh,  _ Taekwoon, wonderful Taekwoon _ \- had pulled the man back by his hood just in time, and had one of his daggers buried on the side of the man’s neck. Hakyeon blinked, heaving, panting, as he watched as Taekwoon dislodged his dagger from the masked man’s body and pushed it forward, letting it fall to the ground. Taekwoon looked up at him, pale face stained red with blood, hair messy and wild, dark eyes shiny, lips parted.

Hakyeon wanted to rush forward and kiss him. Kiss him like he wished he had done in his dream. Or not-dream.

Maker, what was going on?

Then Taekwoon turned around to get back to the fight and the moment was over. Hakyeon felt the loss of his gaze like he’d been wrapped on a warm blanket that was suddenly ripped from his body, leaving him cold and unprotected, but forced himself not to think about it. No, he had to keep himself focused.

He turned in search of his next target, but before he could even finish turning, he felt as if all the air had been knocked out of him.

Then came the pain. Sharp, throbbing pain. 

Looking down, he found the tip of a spear lodged just under his ribs, on the meaty side of his waist. His vision grew blurry, spotty, as he reached down to try and pluck the spear out, fingers shaking, movements slow. His shirt was all red.

He screamed with pain as he felt the sharp blade sliding off of his body, and the world tipped around as he fell, first on his knees, then on his back. The branches above him were too thick. Too dense. He couldn’t see the stars. He wanted to see the stars.

He heard Taekwoon’s voice - oh, Taekwoon,  _ Taekwoon, he was so sorry - _ sounding so far away, yelling out his name. So far away.

Hakyeon opened his mouth to yell back, say he was fine, that it was just a scratch and that Taekwoon shouldn’t worry, but the world faded before he could make a sound.

 

✶✶✶

 

“Hakyeon!”

Sanghyuk turned around just in time to see as Hakyeon fell to the ground, Taekwoon already charging at the man who struck him down with a fury Sanghyuk had never witnessed before in his life. He finished off his own adversary before running towards where Hakyeon had fallen, kneeling on the ground next to him. He had been pierced cleanly through by a very large spear, on the right side of his abdomen. The wound was large, ugly, and Hakyeon was losing blood, too much blood. 

“Oh, fuck, fuck, fuck.” Sanghyuk cursed, pressing down on the wound with his hands in a futile attempt to stop, or at least slow down the bleeding. Hakyeon’s face was pale, lips almost white, and he was cold, so cold that Sanghyuk would have thought him dead if he couldn’t feel his heartbeat. He turned around, seeing that there were still a few robed men left, and he had to go back to the fight. “Hongbin!”

Hongbin whirled from where he’d been fighting one masked person, having just finished him off by stabbing him through the stomach, and the elf ran to him at the sight of Hakyeon.

“What happened!?” Hongbin demanded, kneeling down next to Hakyeon on the floor and removing his own linen vest to wrap it around Hakyeon’s body as a tourniquet.

“No idea, stay with him.” Sanghyuk ordered, his prince-self shining through, and he went back to the fight, helping Wonshik and Taekwoon finish off their attackers. 

Hakyeon was dying. He was dying and Sanghyuk had no idea what to do, what to think, his mind immediately focusing on the fact that Jaehwan should have been with them, should never have left, and then Hakyeon wouldn’t be bleeding out in the middle of some creepy forest.

Jaehwan could have saved him. Jaehwan could have healed him.

There was nothing he could do, and it was killing him.

The last man fell to the ground once Taekwoon slashed his throat messily, and the next second Taekwoon was already by Hakyeon’s side, smoothing his hair away from his forehead fondly, despair etched onto his features.

“Hakyeon!” He called, voice weak, trembling. “Hakyeon, please open your eyes, please look at me.”

There was no response, as Sanghyuk had already been expecting. Hongbin was still pressing down on the wound, his pale, trembling hands covered in blood, while Wonshik stared at the scene at a complete loss.

“He needs a healer.” Hongbin said, voice shaky and weak, eyes wet with tears, expression twisted with concern, fear, despair.

Taekwoon was looking around them, to their surroundings, upwards towards the sky, and Sanghyuk could tell he was trying to figure out where they were, where to go. Sanghyuk vaguely registered Wonshik moving next to him, and turned to see the guard crouching down on the floor and removing the mask of one of their attackers.

A good thought, even if nobody else was in the right state of mind to appreciate it.

“Get our packs.” Taekwoon’s soft voice, weak as it was, sounded firm enough for them to recognize it as an order. Sanghyuk and Hongbin immediately started moving to do just that.

“What should we do?” Wonshik asked, analyzing the features of their dead attacker, trying to see if he could recognize him. He couldn’t, Sanghyuk knew.

If they were to recognize one of the cultists, it wouldn’t be the grunts sent out to fight and perhaps die in the skirmish. The recognizable people were the ones who sat in the shadows and whispered their orders to those who were lesser than.

“Just get our packs.” Taekwoon repeated, lifting Hakyeon’s limp body from the ground carefully and propping him upon his shoulders. The back of the elf’s shirt was immediately stained red. “I know where to take him.”

 

✶

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *sits and waits for the screaming to start*


	13. Len'alas Lath'din

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> uuh hi, i haven't been murdered for ch12 after all ~~this might change~~
> 
> this story's been getting so many readers and so much love, i'm overwhelmed!! thank you so much ♡♡♡
> 
> as always you can reach me here on the comments, on [twitter](https://twitter.com/ghostlike91), [tumblr](https://ghostlike91.tumblr.com/) and on my relatively new [curious cat](https://curiouscat.me/ghostlike)!! ~~(just please try not to outright say any spoilers lmao if you want to discuss the events of the fic you can dm on twitter or go off anon on tumblr so i can reply to you privately♡)~~
> 
> enjoy!! ♡

✶

 

Wonshik could easily tell that Taekwoon wasn’t thinking clearly - it was obvious for anyone who could see - but after walking west for over an hour, Taekwoon refusing to let anyone help him carry an unconscious and bleeding Hakyeon, he was starting to think that the already peculiar Dalish elf had completely lost his remaining marbles.

Taekwoon had a glazed look to his eyes, as if he was looking ahead but not truly seeing anything, his expression blank but tense at the same time, and he walked with a purpose Wonshik had never seen before, not only in Taekwoon, but in anyone. Taekwoon’s breathing was heavy and it was obvious he was tired - exhausted - from the way his back muscles were spasming but the elf didn’t slow down.

The grey forest they were in had become a faded green, yellow and orange in places, no longer completely barren as it was before. Wonshik had no idea where they were, and he was beginning to grow concerned not only for Hakyeon, but for the rest of them as well; did Taekwoon even know where he was going? Was he walking aimlessly, hoping to reach a village or someone who could help?

Finally Taekwoon seemed too tired to go on, his steps faltering, and he lowered himself to one knee on the ground and carefully, gently, removed Hakyeon from his shoulder. Hakyeon’s golden skin had gone pale, and the only proof Wonshik had that he was still alive was the slow rise and fall on his chest. It was a good sign, but not good enough. Hakyeon wouldn’t survive much longer if they didn’t find a way to stop the bleeding. They had slowed it, yes, but he was still losing blood - Taekwoon’s shirt, once white, was almost completely red.

“I can carry him for a while.” Sanghyuk offered, but Taekwoon shook his head, looking pale himself.

“No, I… I have to do this, I have to feel him breathing.” He answered, his voice usually so soft sounding even softer with all the physical exertion and emotional wreckage. “I need to know he’s still alive.”

“Alright.” Sanghyuk said, dropping one of the packs he had been carrying in his hand to help Taekwoon. “Here, I’ll help get him on your back.”

This offer Taekwoon accepted, and soon he was giving a passed out Hakyeon a piggyback ride. Hakyeon’s head lay limp over his shoulder, half buried on the crook of Taekwoon’s neck, and Wonshik thought he saw him moving for a second. Maybe he did move. Maybe it was wishful thinking.

They kept walking for more about half an hour or so, and Wonshik’s eyes widened once he saw red through the sea of trees ahead.

Aravels. Dalish aravels.

Taekwoon had led them directly to a Dalish clan.

Slowly more aravels appeared, and they could see smoke from campfires. Smell roasted meats, hear the sounds of voices and laughter. Children.

They never truly got to the camp proper, however; a small group of elves appeared before them from the surrounding trees, all with arrows readied and aimed at them. They stopped walking immediately.

“Who goes there?” One of the elves asked, taking a step forward. Taekwoon lowered himself to one knee again, handling Hakyeon gently until he was laying across his lap.

Wonshik was already preparing to speak on Taekwoon’s behalf, taking his vow of silence into consideration, but to his surprise Taekwoon didn’t hesitate before speaking loud and clear.

“Please, I need to see Keeper Heejun.” Taekwoon said, eyes and head low. Wonshik looked around at the others, finding them in as much of a loss as he himself felt.

“Why— _You._ ” The elf snarled at Taekwoon, the bright green lines of the tattoo on his face twisting. “You are not welcome.”

“I’m not asking to be let in, I’m asking to see Keeper Heejun.” Taekwoon snarled back, eyes coming up and shining with such rage that Wonshik would have pissed himself if it was directed at him.

The elf didn’t move, staring Taekwoon down, but the other elves seemed less angry and more afraid and turned to go fetch their leader. A wise choice in Wonshik’s humble opinion. Taekwoon’s breathing was erratic and loud, his grip on Hakyeon strong, and he didn’t move nor say anything until the elves returned with two other elves in tow, one of them wearing robes of brighter colors than the others’ - the Keeper, Wonshik assumed. The second was taller and wearing white robes; a mage then, probably a healer.

“When they told me you were here, I did not quite believe them.” The Keeper said, staring harshly at Taekwoon almost like was looking at a vermin. “You are not welcome here, Ghilas’sethen’lan.”

“I’m not here for me.” Taekwoon lowered his head again, looking at Hakyeon’s pale face. “Please, Keeper. He’s dying.”

“And why would we help a shemlen? A shemlen who is _your_ companion?” The Keeper’s voice sounded harsher, and Taekwoon was seething with rage and pride and despair. It was both fascinating and terrifying to watch.

“Because you _owe_ me.” Taekwoon’s voice was louder than Wonshik ever heard, firmer, angrier. The Keeper flinched. “You took away _everything_ from me, you tossed me out with nothing, your own kin, your own _blood_.”

“Mind your tongue, len'alas lath'din.” The Keeper barked and it was Taekwoon’s turn to flinch. “You were a curse to this clan, you brought only death and misfortune, we had reason to exile you.”

Taekwoon’s face twisted with hatred, and Wonshik could actually see the effort it took for the elf to reel those ugly feelings back in, to ease his stance to a more harmless one. It was difficult, but Taekwoon, somehow, managed it.

For Hakyeon. He was doing it for Hakyeon.

“Keeper, _please._ ” Taekwoon finally pleaded, and Wonshik could hear the desperation in his tone. “Ma halani. I have never asked for anything before and I will never ask for anything again, please. _Please_ , save him.”

“Heejun.” The second elf, the one taller than the Keeper, placed a hand on his shoulder. “Saving a life is never unworthy.”

“Unless it is a life that does not merit saving.” Heejun threw back and Taekwoon literally snarled at him.

“His life is worth more than all of your clan combined.”

“ _Careful_. You are already lacking good graces here.” Heejun warned him. Taekwoon looked to be physically holding back from throttling the Keeper. “You are the one begging for help, do not antagonize us.”

Taekwoon huffed a derisive laugh. “ _I’m_ antagonizing _you_ ? You are the ones who kicked me out, a little more than a child, and now I come here against all the good sense I still have left to, yes, _beg_ you to help me because I have run out of options and you have the audacity to tell me not to be hostile? I could have helped improve our clan, I could have helped regain our history, but your foolish fears—”

“Ma banal las halamshir var vhen, len'alas lath'din.” The Keeper barked, and Wonshik wondered at what _that_ had meant.

Taekwoon let out a mirthless chuckle, dark eyes shining with contempt. “How would _you_ know?”

“Heejun.” The taller elf spoke again when Heejun opened his mouth to argue, a warning, moving his gaze from the Keeper to Taekwoon. “If we save his life, what will you do?”

“I will leave and you will never have to worry about seeing me again.” Taekwoon promised, earnest. “Save him, and you and your clan will be free of my existence, for good.”

“Heejun—”

“No.” Heejun said, firm. “Nothing good can come from aiding this— This abomination.”

Taekwoon’s teeth were bared, hatred oozing from him like poison. Fear materialized on his shoulder, flapping its wings and puffing out its chest, cawing loudly. Both Keeper and Healer stared at it with wide eyes.

“Dirthara’ma, you blind fool, and I hope regret finds you swiftly.” Taekwoon said, shaking with fury as he held onto Hakyeon’s limp form. “Your only lucky is that I have made a vow to not engage in pointless violence.”

“If the clan is harmed in any way, you will carry the weight, Ghilas’sethen’lan.” Heejun warned, although the impact was not as great as he was clearly hoping it would be.

Taekwoon slowly got to his feet, holding Hakyeon tight against himself, his eyes unblinking and staring Heejun down. He was paler than he usually was, dark hair askew, covered in blood, and he loomed over Heejun like a spectre of fury, dark eyes shining with loathing. After a silence that felt too long, too tense, Taekwoon whispered with a voice that was even and clear, heavy with emotion. “As long as he lives, I shall carry it gladly. And if he doesn’t, then _you_ will carry the weight. I’ll make sure of it.”

Heejun looked stricken, stumbling backwards one step as if the sheer force of Taekwoon’s hatred had knocked him back. Then, turning around, Taekwoon stalked away into the woods without looking back.

Wonshik was ready to follow Taekwoon, as was Sanghyuk, but Hongbin didn’t seem quite done, his fists clenched and shaking as he stared at the Keeper.

“Taekwoon might have made a vow not to engage in violence, but I haven’t.” Hongbin said, angry like Wonshik had never seen him before - and he’d seen Hongbin angry plenty of times. This was— This was a rage of an entire different level. “Our friend dies, and I’ll be glad to demonstrate.”

“Curb your tongue, _shem_.” Heejun basically spit the word. “You have no space to speak here.”

“You—”

“ _Leave_ , flat ear.” Heejun urged. “This will be your only warning.”

The sentry elves who’d been silent so far all raised their bows, arrows aimed right at Hongbin. Hongbin’s eyes narrowed dangerously, not even flinching at the hostility.

“You should start praying to your dead gods. Just a thought.”

“Hongbin, let’s go.” Wonshik moved and grabbed Hongbin’s wrist, tugging him along. “They’re not worth it.”

Wonshik was relieved when Hongbin followed him without trying to argue, glaring at the Dalish elves until they were out of sight. He could feel Hongbin shaking in his grip, eyes wet and shiny with tears, but he wasn’t crying; Wonshik could imagine some of what he was feeling, perhaps something akin to what Wonshik himself had felt when he realized Jimin was at the ballroom when the massacre at Castrum Draconis began.

He moved his grasp from Hongbin’s wrist to his hand, holding it tight.

It wasn’t hard to catch up with Sanghyuk and Taekwoon, the latter having slowed down significantly out of exertion and despair. The refusal from his former clan was clearly a blow he hadn’t been expecting, and Taekwoon was now looking around wildly, obviously trying to think of a solution, a way to save Hakyeon who continued to slowly bleed out in his arms.

They continued walking aimlessly for about ten or twenty minutes more, following the stream that Wonshik assumed to be an adjacent to the Minanter River. There was nothing around them, no signs of civilization, no signs of _help_. They were alone, completely alone, with nobody and nowhere to turn to, and Hakyeon was going to die. Hakyeon was going to die, and they were lost in the woods somewhere, too close to a clan of very hostile Dalish elves who apparently hated Taekwoon, and Wonshik was panicking because what could they do? There was nothing, nothing—

Finally Taekwoon’s strength ran out as the elf stumbled forward and fell on his knees, panting and sobbing silently, hugging Hakyeon like that would be enough to save him. Fear flew from his shoulder to land on the ground next to Taekwoon, making soft noises to, presumably, try to soothe Taekwoon.

The sight broke Wonshik’s heart.

“Taekwoon, we— We have to do something to close his wounds—” Hongbin tried approaching Taekwoon, careful, his voice shaking, but Taekwoon was beyond any attempt at comprehension, at communication.

Taekwoon was rocking back and forth, face pressed to Hakyeon’s chest mumbling something frantically under his breath, something in elvish. Wonshik couldn’t make out much, not even after he stepped closer, unsure of what to do, what to say, but he caught a few words - “ _ar'ena, elgar'falon'en, ara'lath'ama isala halani_ ” - and despite not understanding the elven language at all, Wonshik could hear the desperation in his tone, how he was speaking those words as if they would make a difference, like they would help—

Taekwoon, suddenly, went utterly still, quiet, tense.

Wonshik heart shot up to his throat, and he was sure that the worst had happened, that Hakyeon had succumbed to his wounds, that Hakyeon was dead in Taekwoon’s arms, and there was nothing he could do, he couldn’t help, he couldn’t—

Then from stillness Taekwoon’s entire body began to tremble in the most unnatural way, a sort of manic twitching, like he had completely lost control of his muscles. Just like it had begun, the spasming stopped and the stillness returned, this time not tense, but like Taekwoon was a doll, a marionette that just had its strings cut. He held onto Hakyeon for a heartbeat longer before he gently laid him out on the ground, movements slow and mechanic.

That was it. Hakyeon was dead. Hakyeon was dead and Taekwoon was losing it, what were they going to do _now_ —

“Taekwoon?” Hongbin called, fear heavy in his voice as he had come to the same conclusion as Wonshik, letting go of Wonshik’s hand to step around Taekwoon so he could stand in front of him. “Taekwoon, what—”

Hongbin never finished his question, for upon seeing Taekwoon’s features he gasped and jumped back, hands covering his mouth to muffle a scream of shock. Wonshik and Sanghyuk rushed to where Hongbin stood, and Wonshik himself stumbled back with the sight that greeted him.

Taekwoon’s expression was completely blank of emotion, pale and bloodstained, but his eyes—

His eyes were glowing a bright, blinding white.

Shocked into silence, the three of them could only watch as Taekwoon raised both of his hands and lowered them over Hakyeon - _he’s still breathing, still breathing, I can see him breathing, he’s alive_ \- right atop the wound on his side, resting his palms there.

It all happened very quickly after that.

Taekwoon’s hands were over Hakyeon’s injury for about five seconds, his palms glowing that same white as his eyes, and then the light was gone, his eyes back to their normal appearance, and Taekwoon was gasping and falling back, clutching at his own side - the exact same place where Hakyeon had been injured.

And, just like that, Taekwoon was out like the light of a candle left on the window during a windy night.

Fear began flapping its wings wildly, cawing so loud it sounded like it was screaming, black feathers scattering around such was the demon’s distress.

“Taekwoon!?” Sanghyuk rushed forward to aid him, dropping all the bags and weapons he’d been carrying in order to check Taekwoon’s pulse, see if he was alright. He seemed to deem the elf not dead, for he immediately scrambled to lift up Taekwoon’s shirt to take a look at the place he’d been clutching, revealing a wound that was an exact copy of Hakyeon’s. “Maker’s breath, what the—”

Hongbin broke out of his trance then and moved to check on Hakyeon, sighing in relief to find that his friend was still alive - though barely. Like Sanghyuk had done with Taekwoon, Hongbin lifted Hakyeon’s clothes to see how bad was the situation, if his wound was still bleeding too much.

“What—” Hongbin breathed out the word so softly it was a wonder he could hear it at all, and Wonshik approached him to see what had surprised Hongbin so.

It wasn’t hard to tell.

Hakyeon’s upper body was a mess of blood and soot, the piece of clothing Hongbin had used to slow the bleeding soaked through, but— There was no wound. His abdomen was smooth and unmarred, not a single scratch on him.

Somehow, and Wonshik wasn’t sure he wanted to know how exactly, Taekwoon had transferred Hakyeon’s wounds into himself.

“We have to stop the bleeding!” Sanghyuk called, using his hands to try to slow down the blood seeping out of the wound on Taekwoon’s waist, and Hongbin moved to try and help.

“Here, tie this around his wound, make sure it’s tight.” Hongbin said after digging through his pack and finding an old shirt. “Shit, shit, ok, I think I can cauterize it, we need— We need fire—”

“I’m on it.” Wonshik said, dropping his own baggage on the floor without a care and running to the nearby woods to get some branches for a fire.

“Sanghyuk, once you’re done tying that I need you to get some water from the stream.” Hongbin said, voice more level now that it wasn’t his best friend’s life on the line; cold, but at least Hongbin had his priorities. “I need—” Hongbin was talking to himself as he began digging through his pack. “A needle, thread, a knife— _Fuck_ , I have no idea what I’m doing— Can someone make that damn bird shut up!?”

Wonshik took a moment to approach Hongbin and place a hand on his shoulder, a gesture he hoped to be soothing. “Bin. Breathe. You can do this.”

Hongbin looked up at him, pale and gorgeous and terrified, and inhaled deeply for a long moment.

Then he returned to his task and Wonshik left him be, praying to the Maker to shine His light down upon their group. For Him to save Taekwoon and Hakyeon. For Him to save them all.

 

✶✶✶

 

Jaehwan was traveling fast, much faster than he thought he was able to. His breaks were becoming shorter, his stamina higher. He couldn’t help think that he wouldn’t become winded from climbing the endless stairs of Castrum Draconis anymore, wouldn’t reach Sanghyuk’s chambers ready to spit out his lungs.

Sanghyuk. He would see Sanghyuk again very soon, just a couple more days. Did Sanghyuk miss him? Would he be happy to see him again? Probably not. Relieved, maybe, for seeing a familiar face after so long amongst strangers. Why would Sanghyuk be _happy_ to see him, the guy who kept nagging him left and right? Stupid.

Taekwoon would be happy to see him; he could play cool and pretend he was cold and aloof all he wanted, but Jaehwan knew Taekwoon liked him. Or, well, maybe not, since Taekwoon didn’t exactly miss Jaehwan, keeping him updated through dreams every night, and those were as good as talking to Taekwoon himself. The only annoying thing was that Taekwoon kept taking them to random forests. Very unoriginal.

That only meant that nobody would be happy to see him, which was— Not very encouraging. They’d be happy to have a mage around, sure, but not because the mage was him, Jaehwan.

...And why in the memory of Andraste’s holy privates was he having those kinds of thoughts so close to the day he’d been looking forward to the most?

Jaehwan pushed those thoughts away, swept them under the rug of his mind, and decided to pay attention to the road ahead of him instead. It was a dark night, clouds obstructing the moonlight and making it harder to see; the road he was on was desolate, oddly so considering he’d encountered a settlement not too far back. It was lonely and creepy, and Deceit wasn’t exactly very helpful to fight off that feeling, perched on his shoulder with its head tucked under its wing, “sleeping”. The little rascal. Demons don’t sleep.

It was so dark that, against his better judgement, Jaehwan had to conjure a wisp of light just so he could see where he was going, to make sure he wouldn’t step into a hole on the ground and break an ankle - breaking a bone was the last thing he needed. Bones were a piece of work to heal, magic or no magic. He could still recall clearly how much of a pain it was to heal Sanghyuk after he’d broken an arm while riding a horse; it wasn’t something he was keen on doing again.

And there he was, thinking of Sanghyuk in a random moment where thinking of Sanghyuk was not called for.

It was just the habit. He was Sanghyuk’s advisor, of course thinking of Sanghyuk came easily to him. He had been trained to put Sanghyuk’s needs and well being over his own, so of course— Or course—

His line of thought was completely interrupted by Deceit, who not only woke up from its fake nap, but started screeching loud and frantically right by his ear, causing Jaehwan to let out a yelp of surprise and almost stumble out of the road into the shrubbery around him.

“Deceit, what the—!” Jaehwan started, but Deceit took flight before he could finish, flying away at incredible speed. “Deceit!”

Jaehwan could do nothing but to run after the desperate demon, a feeling of dread settling in his heart.

 

✶✶✶

 

The first thing Hakyeon managed to make out with his blurry vision was the tarp of the tent above him, the sunlight barely filtering through it. He blinked slowly, trying to get his bearings, trying to remember where he was and how he’d gotten there, what had happened.

He remembered Taekwoon. _It’s not_ _a dream_. He remembered the battle in that gray forest, he remembered—

His hands immediately moved to his side, to the place where he had been pierced through by a very sharp spear, touching it gently with the fear of pain, but— There was none. No pain. No wound.

The movement caught the attention of someone, and Hakyeon turned his face to find Hongbin scrambling from where he’d been sitting, dozing off under a blanket, to crawl his way towards him. His friend looked so pale, so exhausted— “Yeonie, you’re awake!”

“Binnie.” Hakyeon called, his voice so hoarse it almost sounded like a croak. “Where’s Taekwoon?”

“Here, drink this.” Hongbin ignored the question in favor of pushing a cantil to Hakyeon’s lips. Hakyeon thought of refusing, but his mouth was dry like a desert and the temptation of water was too strong for him to be able to resist.

Sitting up with some help from Hongbin, Hakyeon took several large gulps of water before pushing the cantil away gently so he could ask again, “Where’s Taekwoon?”

Hongbin opened his mouth to answer but closed it again, clearly trying to find the words to explain. Hakyeon was starting to panic, the fear growing stronger each second Hongbin took to start talking, but finally his friend settled on something to say, “It’s a funny story—”

Hakyeon pursed his lips, nostrils flaring. “Hongbin—”

“He’s— He’s sort of, uh… Out.” Hongbin replied, tentative, unsure.

Hakyeon’s eyes narrowed suspiciously. “Out.”

“Yes, out.”

“Out where? Did he go hunting?” Hakyeon asked, knowing his assumption was wrong but wishing there was a chance it was right.

“No, he’s— You see,” Hongbin shifted where he was sitting on the ground, brows hitched in thought, “he saved you, somehow. We’re not sure how, but once he did, he— He passed out, and it’s been two days and he hasn’t woken up and we—”

“What!?” Hakyeon demanded, throwing off the blanket that was covering him to push himself up, his vision blackening when the head rush hit him for standing up too fast. Hongbin was at his side when he swayed on his feet, hands on his shoulders to steady him. “Where is he?”

“Hakyeon, you lost too much blood, you need to—”

“Where is he?” He repeated, shaking his head to chase away the dizziness and stalked out of the tent with determination before Hongbin could try to stop him.

He squinted the moment he stepped outside, the sunlight blinding him for a second. Next thing he knew someone had collided against him and was now giving him the tightest hug he’d ever received in his life.

“Hakyeon!” Sanghyuk’s voice was loud next to his ear and heavy with emotion. Hakyeon couldn’t help but to smile softly and hug him back, patting his shoulder soothingly.

“Hyukie, hey.” He greeted, giving Wonshik a smile too once Sanghyuk stepped back and he could spot him sitting by the campfire, also looking tired but relieved. “Where’s Taekwoon?”

“You sound like a dumb parrot who only knows two words.” Hongbin groaned behind him; he didn’t need to look at him to his friend was rolling his eyes. “Come on, this way.”

“I can take him, you should rest.” Sanghyuk said, watching Hongbin with some concern. “Go sit with Wonshik for a while, I got this.”

Hongbin sighed. “Fine, just make sure he eats something.”

“Of course.” Sanghyuk promised and, placing one hand on Hakyeon’s shoulder, began guiding him to a tent next to the one he’d just been in, to their right.

“Why is he in a different tent? Why not put us next to each other, to make it easier to take care of both of us?”

“We were worried it would stress you out if you woke up next to him, considering.” Sanghyuk answered with a small shrug. Seeing Hakyeon’s distress, he quickly added. “He’s alive, don’t worry. We _somehow_ managed to close his wounds and stop the bleeding but he hasn’t—”

“Wounds!? He’s wounded?” Hakyeon’s panic returned full force and he rushed away from Sanghyuk’s reach to enter the tent on his own.

Sanghyuk called for him but Hakyeon ignored him, almost knocking over the entire tent in his haste to get inside. A helpless little noise escaped his lips once he entered and saw Taekwoon lying there, pale as a spectre of death and covered in blood, chest rising and falling with his slow, shallow breathing pattern. Fear, nestled against Taekwoon’s side, raised its head to regard him. Hakyeon stumbled to his side, legs like gelatin, and let himself fall on his knees next to Taekwoon, placing a hand on his forehead to check his temperature. He felt so cold, so very cold.

“Hakyeon!” Sanghyuk caught up with him, sighing as he entered the tent and saw Hakyeon checking on Taekwoon. “I did say he was alive.”

“What happened to him?” Hakyeon asked, smoothing Taekwoon’s hair away from his face. The braid he’d weaved had come undone, likely somewhere in the middle of the mess he’d missed.

“We don’t really know.” Sanghyuk started, cautious, as he stepped further inside to crouch next to Hakyeon. Even more carefully, he pulled away the blanket that was covering Taekwoon so he could lift his shirt. Hakyeon immediately looked away.

There was a large, ugly wound on his waist that had apparently been cauterized and stitched rather crudely - amateurish as it was, at least it worked its purpose and stopped the bleeding. Hakyeon touched the side of his body, where his own wound had been. There was nothing there to hurt him anymore; the pain he felt was in his heart instead.

“He took it, didn’t he?” Hakyeon closed his eyes and took a deep breath.

“That’s what it looks like, yes.” Sanghyuk confirmed. “There’s more to it, but you should rest—”

“Why didn’t any of you clean him up?” Hakyeon interrupted him, fixing Taekwoon’s clothes and pulling the blanket back up to cover him, keep him warm. “He’s still wearing bloody clothes, he’s got blood all over.”

“We, uh— We’ve been sort of afraid that we’d rip open the stitches if we moved him too much.” Sanghyuk scratched the back of his neck awkwardly.

“Oh, for—” Hakyeon started, but stopped himself to take yet another deep breath. He was confused and upset and terrified, but taking out his frustration on Sanghyuk wouldn’t help anyone. “Can you bring me a basin with warm water and some cloth, please?”

“Hakyeon, you have to rest.” Sanghyuk tried again.

“I’m fine.” Hakyeon didn’t look up to the prince as he spoke, taking hold of Taekwoon’s pack and pulling it closer to himself to look for clean clothes. “I’ve been resting for two days.”

“You lost a lot of blood, you should be lying down and drinking a gallon of water.”

“Yeah, and I will.” Hakyeon found a clean tunic and trousers, setting them aside. “But I’ll take care of Taekwoon first.”

“Ugh, Andraste’s steaming asshole, you’re stubborn.” Sanghyuk groaned. “Fine, but I’ll bring you water and food and you’ll eat it all, got it?”

“Yes, yes, warm water and cloth, please.” Hakyeon repeated his request, moving around the tent so he could sit by Taekwoon’s head, resting it over his lap gently.

Sanghyuk rolled his eyes as he turned around to leave and called for Fear to follow him out, where he would, hopefully, get the items Hakyeon requested. Once he found himself alone with Taekwoon, Hakyeon let out a little hiccup, eyes filling up with tears.

“Why would you do something like this?” Hakyeon asked the unconscious elf on his lap, running a hand over his hair gently. “Idiot.”

He knew what Taekwoon had done, he’d seen it before - his sister had done it once, although the injury in question wasn’t as serious as the one currently killing Taekwoon. It was a child, a child who’d stepped on a large, rusty nail when they were playing at the beach. His sister took pity on the child and summoned forth a spirit of Kindness to take over her body and relieve the child from their wound.

The difference was, Hakyeon’s mother was there to heal his sister once she returned home.

But his sister was a mage, she was able to summon spirits at will like that; Taekwoon wasn’t a mage.

Or was he? The dreams— Was Taekwoon a Dreamer? But Dreamers are mages, and Taekwoon wasn’t a mage, so— How? Taekwoon very obviously had the ability to shape the Fade, but that was a skill only mages possessed. Taekwoon was not a mage, so what was he?

A spirit possessing a person with no magical inclinations was, technically, possible; Hakyeon had never seen it happen before, but all of those who dream have a connection to the Fade and thus are somehow able to attract spirits. The emotions at play would have to be incredibly strong to catch the attention of a spirit, though. What spirit had it been? Despair? Hope? Guilt?

...Love?

Hakyeon felt his face heat up at that thought, trying to push the idea away but it was hard to do now that it had presented itself. Was it a spirit of Love? Was Taekwoon— Did Taekwoon love him?

No, that would be ridiculous. Taekwoon was fond of him, and maybe he had a bit of a crush, but _love_ — It couldn’t be.

Then again… Taekwoon had taken a wound that could be fatal onto himself to spare Hakyeon’s life. If that wasn’t love then what was it?

“Idiot.” He murmured again, lowering himself to press a kiss to Taekwoon’s forehead. “If you die I’m going to be so pissed.”

Of course, Taekwoon didn’t say anything in response. Hakyeon took a deep breath, reeling in all the fear and doubt, forcing himself to stop crying because tears wouldn’t help Taekwoon. Taekwoon needed to be taken better care of, his wound needed to be cleaned and properly bandaged, he needed water and he needed warmer clothes. He would take care of him, he would make sure Taekwoon survived.

Sanghyuk returned not long after that, bringing the items Hakyeon had requested - good for him, otherwise Hakyeon would smack him no matter how weak from blood loss he still was - and a bowl of what looked to be soup.

“Eat first, worry about your knight in leather armor later.” Sanghyuk said, placing the bowl on the floor close to Hakyeon. “He’s not bleeding out and he seems stable, you have time to eat.”

Hakyeon huffed, annoyed, but decided that arguing would be a waste of time - he would eat fast so he could focus on Taekwoon.

Moving around the tent again after carefully placing Taekwoon’s head back on the pillow, Hakyeon settled down close to him but far away enough that if he spilt any food it wouldn’t fall on Taekwoon. Sanghyuk was sitting in front of the entrance of the tent, arms crossed and staring at him like a guard.

Sticking out his tongue at the young prince, Hakyeon began to eat, chewing only enough not end up choking before swallowing. “So.” He started, after forcing down a particularly large piece of potato. It was a little hard, but he decided against mentioning it. “What exactly happened?”

“Honestly, I’m not entirely sure.” Sanghyuk began. Hakyeon shoved another spoonful of soup into his own mouth. “After you— After you were injured, Taekwoon led us to his old Dalish clan—”

“What!?” Hakyeon exclaimed, a little bit of soup running down his chin. He absently cleaned it with his sleeve and swallowed the food properly before speaking again. “He took you to his clan?”

“ _Old_ clan, there’s apparently a lot of bad blood between them.” Sanghyuk made a face. “Something about him being exiled—”

“He was _exiled_!?” Hakyeon exclaimed, voice a little too loud. “But why, why would they do something like this to him!?”

“Calm down, you can’t get all riled up like this!” Sanghyuk raised his hands in an appeasing gesture, and Hakyeon, breathing heavy with the anger that information caused him, tried to contain his outrage. “I don’t know anything, so you’ll have to wait until Taekwoon wakes up to ask him that directly.” Sanghyuk waited a few seconds for Hakyeon to calm down before he continued. “Once we got there, Taekwoon begged their leader to help you, but he refused. He called Taekwoon a lot of names - I have no idea what they meant - and said your life wasn’t worth saving or something. That pissed Taekwoon off big time.”

“Wait, Taekwoon— _Spoke_ to them? As in, he talked to them directly?” Hakyeon questioned, and Sanghyuk agreed with a nod.

“He did. He actually yelled a little bit, too.”

“But— His vow—”

“I don’t think he cared about the vow.”

Hakyeon took a deep breath, looking down at the unconscious elf beside him. Taekwoon must have been really desperate to completely ignored his vow, something he was always very careful about and intent on not breaking. Would he face consequences for that? Would he punished? He shouldn’t be, he’d done that to try to save a life—

“I’ve never seen anyone so angry, and this is coming from me with my dragon blood and short temper.” Sanghyuk continued. “If he wasn’t carrying you, I’m pretty sure Taekwoon would have strangled the Keeper.”

“He was carrying me?” Hakyeon’s eyes snapped back towards Sanghyuk, his vision becoming blurry with tears again.

“He carried you all the way, he wouldn’t let anyone else do it.” Sanghyuk replied with a little side smile. “We walked for almost two hours, he carried you on his back through every second.”

Hakyeon let out a shaky breath, feeling a tightness around his heart, a cold feeling in the pit of his stomach, a strange sort of emptiness, of— Of longing. Looking down at Taekwoon again, at his slumbering face, the closed eyes and parted lips, Hakyeon questioned— Everything. He’d had relationships before, not too many but enough, the most serious being with Wongeun - which was also the longest, having lasted a little more than three years. Would Wongeun have gone as far as Taekwoon have for him? Hakyeon didn’t think so. Wongeun couldn’t even support his dream of dancing when things came to a head, but Taekwoon— They had met only a few weeks ago, and Taekwoon had gone as far as to face the people who shunned him, as far as to break his vow, as far as to carry Hakyeon’s dead weight on his back for hours… As far as taking Hakyeon’s wound from him, just to save his life.

 _‘I would do anything for you._ ’

Taekwoon had told him that, and now Hakyeon was sure he meant every word.

From that perspective, maybe it wouldn’t be so ludicrous to believe it had truly been a spirit of Love.

“You know what,” Sanghyuk said with a sigh, pushing himself up to stand, “you’re still recovering and I’m sure you have a lot on your mind, so… Eat your soup, take care of Taekwoon, and just try to get your thoughts in order. I’m sure Taekwoon himself can tell you what happened once he wakes up.”

Hakyeon could only find it in himself to nod in acknowledgement before Sanghyuk stepped out of the tent, leaving him alone with an unconscious Taekwoon and the hundred thousand thoughts inside his head.

 

✶✶✶

 

“Deceit!” Jaehwan called, slowing down on the fast sprint he’d been in until he stopped completely, knees bent and hands on his hips like an old man. “Andraste’s crispy buttcheeks, Deceit, slow down, I can’t—”

Deceit interrupted him with a loud screech, flying around him frantically as if urging him to keep moving. Jaehwan glared at the demon.

“I’m only human, I can’t keep going without resting!” Jaehwan said as tried holding his spine upright. Even that hurt. “We’ve been running for two days, there’s only so much my potions can do for me to keep up with you!” Deceit screeched again as if those words were offensive. “None of that! I need to rest, and I need to eat something and I need to drink water, can I do that, please? Give me ten minutes.”

Without waiting a second as to not give Deceit a chance to stop him, Jaehwan plopped down on the floor exactly where he stood, groaning with the relief of being off his feet. Good thing those were comfortable boots, otherwise he would have blisters from his pinky up to his knee.

Grabbing his waterskin, Jaehwan took a long gulp of water and smacking his lips said, “I don’t know what’s with the hurry.” He cleaned his mouth with his sleeve. “Where we even going? Caimen Brea is that way.” Jaehwan pointed north. Ish. “We’re going the wrong way!”

Deceit cawed at him and snapped its beak, disagreeing. Jaehwan rolled his eyes and took out a piece of bread he’d bought for himself in the last settlement. “You know what, I don’t care, I’m sitting here and eating this tasteless bread and I’m resting, and you’re going to wait until I’m done.”

Deceit screeched loud and long, and Jaehwan pretend not to be bothered by it, chewing on his dry bread and looking up at the canopy of trees overhead. Despite the sinking feeling that had settled inside him, despite knowing in his bones he should keep walking, he just— Couldn’t. He was exhausted, had barely stopped to take a breath in two days and Deceit wouldn’t let him sit down for more than two minutes at a time. Not only that, Taekwoon hadn’t given him any updates since Deceit began freaking out, and that was obviously a sign that Taekwoon was in some sort of danger; Taekwoon wouldn’t have spent so long without contacting him. Their connection through dreams was all they had to keep each other informed, and now that they were traveling to meet it was vital that they kept tabs on each other’s whereabouts. If something happened to Taekwoon—

If something happened to _all_ of them—

Jaehwan almost choked on his food and quickly downed several long gulps of water to recover. No. No, no, no and no, they couldn’t be— But if—

“Oh, fuck.” Jaehwan groaned and got up again, shoving the rest of his bread into his pack again. “Fine, let’s go, just try to remember that I can’t ke—”

Jaehwan was interrupted by a loud _snap_ somewhere to his left, the echo of a branch snapping.

“Deceit.” Jaehwan called in a lower voice, throwing his pack around his shoulders again. “I know you’re pissed right now, but let’s try to run away in silence, ok?”

Whatever that sound had been, it was close enough to cause alarm and put Jaehwan on edge. They were deep enough in those woods to know it wasn’t anyone just strolling past, no - whoever it was, it was either a clan of Dalish elves, who could very well be hostile, or templars after Jaehwan. Or bandits hired by the cultists, also after Jaehwan.

Best to get out of there before they found him, be him right or wrong.

The moment he felt Deceit’s magic envelop him, Jaehwan began running after the demon again, letting it guide him to wherever it wanted to take him.

“Deceit, if you can find a way to get in touch with Daeguni, that would be great right about now!” Jaehwan hissed at the bird between teeth at the same time he tried searching his pockets for a tonic or potion that could keep him running for as long as possible.

This time, Deceit answered with nothing but silence.

 

✶✶✶

 

The image that greeted Hongbin once he entered the tent where Taekwoon still lay unconscious was Hakyeon, Taekwoon’s head propped up on his lap, trying feed him some water with the help of a wooden spoon. Hongbin sighed, heart aching, but pushed the feeling away. He didn’t want Hakyeon to worry about his well being too.

Hakyeon had done so much already; he had bathed and clothed Taekwoon, changed his bandages, everything on his own, and now he was spoon-feeding him _water_ . Hongbin was acquainted with Hakyeon’s kindness, but _this_ — It was too much.

“Yeonie, you have to rest.” Hongbin said as he entered the tent, walking closer to where Hakyeon was sitting.

“I know, I will once I get him to drink a little more water.” Hakyeon barely looked up to acknowledge him. “He lost a lot of blood, he needs water.”

“He lost a lot less blood than you and I don’t see you drinking water.” Hongbin wisely pointed out with a tired sigh, crouching down next to his friend to hand him a mug. “Here, I made some tea for you.”

“Thanks, you can leave it there, I’ll drink it in a moment.” Hakyeon said absently, feeding another spoon of water to Taekwoon and careful dabbing away at the little bit that ran down from the corner of his lips. “I just want to get him to drink a couple more of these.”

Hongbin took a deep breath, and if he believed in the Maker he would be praying for some patience at that exact moment. “Hakyeon, you need to rest. You gave Taekwoon enough water for tonight, you can try giving him more in the morning.”

“But—”

“Drink. The. Tea.” Hongbin ordered, enunciating the words slowly as he pushed the cup into Hakyeon’s hands. “It will help you sleep.”

Hakyeon stared at Hongbin for a long moment before sighing, shoulders slumping in defeat. “I don’t want to leave him alone.”

“Sleep here, then.” Hongbin frowned; he thought Hakyeon had come to that conclusion already.

“I— I can do that?”

Hongbin arched a judgemental eyebrow at him. “Yes, you can do that. You’re a big boy, you can make your own decisions about in which tent to sleep.”

That got Hakyeon blushing to the tip of his ears. “F-fine, I’ll get my bedroll and sleep here then.”

“As you wish.” Hongbin raised his hands in a sign of surrender and got up again. “You can stay here, I’ll get your bedroll. Just don’t sleep too close to him, you’re a cuddler and he’s in no position to withstand your death grip.”

“Shut up.” Hakyeon pouted and glared at him, and Hongbin just snickered and left the tent.

Once outside, Hongbin closed his eyes and took a long, deep breath. He felt so incredibly drained, body and mind, after two days worrying and taking care of both Taekwoon and Hakyeon, though more the latter than the former. He was worried about Taekwoon, sure, but Hakyeon was his best friend. He might no longer be in a life or death situation, but Hakyeon would always be the priority.

Besides, Taekwoon was doing just fine. He was stable, no longer bleeding out, heartbeat and breathing were fine, the wound was not infected. That he hadn’t woken up yet was strange, though, considering how he hadn’t lost as much blood as Hakyeon. Perhaps it was whatever he did the responsible factor for his unconsciousness?

There was no point wondering about it - once Taekwoon woke up, they could ask him what happened.

 _If_ he woke up.

He hoped he did, for Hakyeon’s sake.

It worried him how Hakyeon was attached to Taekwoon; Hakyeon’s heart was always open to welcome new people, and that Hakyeon was friendly and loving was something Hongbin had always admired about his best friend, but at the same time… It made him vulnerable to heartbreak. Hongbin didn’t know Taekwoon, didn’t know of his past, didn’t know of his intentions, didn’t know if whatever he felt towards Hakyeon was something that would last or if he was simply starstruck by Hakyeon’s bright personality. That entire thing had the potential to go so wrong, and judging from how Hakyeon was invested— It was concerning.

“Hongbin?” Wonshik called from where he was sitting by the fire, and Hongbin turned his face to regard him. “Are you alright?”

Hongbin nodded in response, a small smile appearing on his lips. “I’m fine. I just have to go grab Hakyeon’s bedroll, he wants to sleep close to Taekwoon.”

“I’ll get it, you rest a little.” Sanghyuk piped in, getting from where he’d been sitting to do as he said and get Hakyeon’s bedroll. Hongbin didn’t argue, quietly moving to take a place next to Wonshik and snuggling against his side like a particularly needy cat.

Wonshik tensed up a bit, but relaxed just as fast and wrapped one arm around Hongbin’s shoulders. “Are you sure you’re alright? You look so pale.”

“It’s just the moonlight, Shik. I’m fine.”

“Sure. The moonlight.” Wonshik sighed. “You barely slept today, you need to rest.”

“I’ve gone longer than this without sleep, this is nothing.”

“Just because you’ve done it before, doesn’t mean you should do it again.” Wonshik smartly told him, making Hongbin chuckle through his nose.

“That’s a fair point. I’ll rest, I just need to make sure Hakyeon is asleep first.” He said, resting his head on Wonshik’s shoulder. Sanghyuk left the tent Hakyeon had been sleeping in so far with the bedroll tucked under his arm. Hongbin watched the prince go by before continuing. “I gave Yeonie some tea to help him along, once he falls asleep I’ll have some myself.”

“Promise?”

“Promise.”

They were quiet then, Hongbin allowing himself to relax next to Wonshik, happy to bask in his warmth, in his presence. He was so tired. He would be glad to just let himself drift off to dreamland, but he was too worried, too nervous about their situation to allow sleep to take him. He would have to drink some of his tea if he ever wished to sleep that night, but at the same time he didn’t want to be knocked out. What if Hakyeon needed him? What if Taekwoon woke up? That tea was strong and would keep him unconscious for a good few hours, he wasn’t sure he wanted to risk not being available in case something happened. What if they were attacked again? What if next time one of them was killed, gone for good? What if it was _Wonshik_ —

“Hey, Binnie?” Wonshik called with his low timbre. “You ok? You’re crushing my hand.”

“Ah, sorry.” Hongbin let go of Wonshik’s hand. “I was just— Just having worrisome thoughts.”

“Do you want to talk about it?” Wonshik asked, but Hongbin promptly shook his head.

“No, at least not now.” He took a deep breath. “Once the worst is over, then— Then I’ll talk.”

“Whenever you’re ready.” Wonshik squeezed Hongbin gently against himself.

Sanghyuk chose that moment to get out of the tent, hands empty of any items. “Hakyeon drank the tea, he’s knocked out in there.”

Hongbin let out a sigh of relief. “Thank fuck, I thought I would have to force it down his throat.”

“I’d help you if it came to that, but he drank it willingly.” Sanghyuk said, stretching his arms above his head. “He fell asleep holding Taekwoon’s hand, it’s so cute.”

Wonshik cooed. Hongbin made a face.

Before they had the chance to react any further than that, Fear, who had been perched atop the tent Taekwoon was occupying, began screeching loud and wild, wings flapping and black feathers flying everywhere. The three of them startled, jumping to attention, and the demon took flight, circling them and pulling on Sanghyuk’s clothes, trying to coax him towards the woods.

“What the ever living fuck, Fear!?” Sanghyuk yelped, and the bird pulled on his hair urgently with its beak. “Ow, what!? You want me to follow you?”

The raven shrieked, causing them all to wince.

“Oh, for—” Sanghyuk groaned and ran towards the tent he’d been sharing with Wonshik to retrieve his greatsword.

“I’ll come with, I can’t leave him alone to go wherever the demon wants to take him.”  Wonshik got up to also retrieve his weapons, and Hongbin could only pace nervously from side to side, trying to tune out the incessant shrills of the demon.

The two warriors stepped out of the tent with their weapons in hand, and Hongbin took a deep breath to reel in the dread.

“Be careful out there.” He said, and with a last glance exchanged, Wonshik left with Sanghyuk to follow Fear, leaving Hongbin alone with two unconscious idiots.

It seemed he wouldn’t be getting any sleep that night after all.

 

✶✶✶

 

Jaehwan didn’t know how long he’d been running, but it felt like forever. His lungs were burning, his legs had no strength left, he felt a rather painful stitch on his side, but he pushed himself, forced himself to keep running; he _had_ to keep running, if he wanted to still be alive to ever run again come morning.

His footfalls drummed in his ears, not at all in time with his erratic heartbeat and giving away his location far too easily, and as loud as those sounded it was still not loud enough to muffle the sounds of the various pairs of footsteps in pursuit, heavy and intent on catching up. He wanted to stop for a moment, catch his breath, but he didn’t want to lose momentum, dashing through the thicket and the trees, ignoring the few branches that cut through his skin and got tangled in his clothes. He just had to run. Keep running.

Deceit was trying its best, trying to confuse their chasers, but there was only so much the demon could do while trying to guide Jaehwan through the woods at the same time; however small the respite, it still gave him a semblance of hope. Hope enough to give him a small boost of speed, praying to Andraste that he wouldn’t end up tripping over a root or falling face first to the ground, wanting only to gain enough distance from the bandits so he could stop and find a place to hide.

He pushed through the shrubbery and had to grab onto a tree not to end flying down a steep slope that appeared seemingly out of nowhere, but he had no time to be picky about where to run to - looking over his shoulder briefly, just to check how far away were the mercenaries, Jaehwan jumped and let himself slide down the slope, hearing the fabric of his pants and shirt tear as they got caught in dry branches along the way, cold seeping through and making him shiver when the moisture made contact with his warm skin. There had been no rain in the past few days, but the ground was wet with dew and after rolling the last half of the way to the bottom of the slope Jaehwan was covered in mud, hair sticking to his forehead with dirt and sweat, but he could notice none of that since he was already running again the moment he found his footing.

That moment’s decision turned out to be a great one, for the bandits hesitated before following him down - he had gotten at least a minute advantage and he would have to use it wisely, decide his next move.

He stopped amongst a thick group of large, ancient trees, choosing the widest one to hide behind and catch his breath for a moment. His back hit the rough trunk of the tree and he tipped his head up, eyes closed and mouth open, taking one long breath after the other. He wouldn’t be able to keep running forever. He was already close to his limit. He wanted to go back, to fight, but he was too tired, too drained, his mana running low and his magic too weak to do any damage. He could try blood magic, but it wouldn’t be enough. He was far too outnumbered. One arrow was all it took to take Jaehwan down, and the risk was not worth it.

Clucking his tongue to call for Deceit, Jaehwan shed his heavy pack from his back and laid it out against the tree. Once the demon appeared on his arm, Jaehwan looked into its eyes, willing his thoughts to reach the raven. _Hide this from view_ , he said to Deceit, _hide this, and if something happens to me, make sure Daeguni and the others find it._ Deceit puffed out its feathers and moved from his arm to perch atop his pack, clearly having gotten the message.

That matter solved, Jaehwan took a deep breath and held it, eyes closed and ears alert to pick up any sounds. He could hear water nearby, perhaps from a stream, and the rustling of leaves somewhere towards the slope he had just passed. Those were likely the bandits, and if he could hear them, then they were too close to stay there.

Exhaling slowly, trying not to make any noise, Jaehwan began moving towards the stream, keeping himself low so the thick brushes would help concealing him. The full moons gave a decent amount of lighting, but if Jaehwan could see well enough, then so did the bandits. He took one step, and stopped. Then another, and stopped. He repeated this again and again, moving deliberately slow as to not make unnecessary noises. The bandits’ footsteps got closer and stopped, and it didn’t sound so far away anymore.

“Come out, come out, wherever you are!” He heard one of the men taunt, while the others merely snorted and laughed like they were having a jolly good time. Jaehwan pursed his lips and bit his tongue before he yelled back to them to go fuck a nug. He chose the pragmatic option and continued to move, a bead of sweat rolling from his forehead to his eye and he stopped when it stung, the mud that clung to his skin burning. He blinked several times in quick succession to make the sting go away, but now his right eye was blurry and that definitely did not help matters.

An owl hooted somewhere above and Jaehwan flinched with a start and lowered himself to a full crouch, arms shaking violently and legs threatening to give out. Maker bless the adrenaline running through his veins, otherwise he wouldn’t have been able to keep himself up.

“Here, here, pretty boy.” The man called again, and Jaehwan made a face once he heard kissing noises following the words. Now he wanted to be caught even less than he did before, if that was even possible.

He had to get out of there, and he had to get out of there fast.

Slowly, he began moving again, one step after the other, and he was beginning to feel like his tactic was about to pay off until a loud _crack_ broke the silence of the night. He stepped on a twig.

Well, ain’t that peachy.

“That way!” He heard a different voice speak and gave up sneaking around in favor of speed, bolting through the trees towards the stream.

He tripped on a large pebble and fell on his hands and knees inside the cold water, but his body didn’t register the temperature so strong was his despair to keep moving, keep running, and he pushed himself up almost immediately, leaping through the current of the stream to the other side. He heard the splashing sounds only a couple seconds later, the bandits again right behind him, and Jaehwan ducked his head forward and sprinted as fast as his tired legs could carry him.

It wasn’t fast enough. He could hear them getting closer, could hear, _feel_ one of their swords slash the air a bit too close to his ear, and panic took hold of him. He was about to die, cold, tired and alone in the middle of the woods, with nobody to hear him scream, nobody to help. This was so not how he had expected his life to end.

He tripped on a high tree root that stuck out of the ground and went tumbling a few feet, bouncing back up and thankfully the fall helped him get a little bit of distance between him and the outlaws, but not enough. Not even nearly enough. He wanted to stop running. Maybe he should.

 _No_ , his tired mind screamed at him, _keep running, keep running for Sanghyuk’s sake._

And so he did.

 

✶


	14. Blind, deaf and stupid.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi, welcome to my redemption arc, rated f&g (fluff&gore)  
> if you feel uncomfortable with gore or violence, you should. you know. skip the first scene.
> 
> enjoy!♡

✶

 

Sanghyuk cursed under his breath after tripping on yet another protruding root on the ground, stumbling but dead set on keeping up with Fear. Wonshik, running next to him only a couple steps behind, was in equal state of fatigue and determination, sweat glistening over his skin, cheeks reddened with exertion.

They’ve been running for almost two hours, barely stopping to rest before taking off again, mouths dry and legs sore. Sanghyuk could barely feel the soles of his feet anymore, could only feel the ripples of each step up his overworked legs. His shirt was clinging onto his skin, sweat running down the dip of his spine, his temples, stinging his eyes. Whatever had Fear acting like that had to be important, and whether Sanghyuk knew what it was about or not, he felt the urgency of the situation, knew that he had to move quick.

He jumped over the next root, this time having seen it coming, and ignored the spark of pain in his leg muscles, forcing himself to ignore the ache and keep moving. He could feel the dragon blood in his veins reacting, making him stronger, faster. He didn’t need anyone to tell him his eyes had turned gold.

The air began to smell fresher, like dew and wet earth - water. They were getting close to water. Sanghyuk forced himself to move faster, almost catching up to Fear, Wonshik falling behind. Water was good.  _ Great _ , even. They could have a quick drink of water, throw some of it on their faces to bring out some alertness back through the fog of tiredness, and keep on moving. They would still be tired, of course, but it would help. Anything would help, at that point.

He deftly dodged a low branch, having learned his lesson a while back when he felt the sting of one slicing through his right cheek; it was still stinging, in fact, a numb burn across his cheek that, like the rest of his discomfort, he was doing his best to ignore.

He just wanted to get out of that forest. Sit down for five minutes. The best was to accomplish that was by moving even faster.

With an impulse forward, Sanghyuk burst through a cluster of foliage and into a clearing, and immediately saw movement on the other side of it. He gripped the hilt of his greatsword tighter, raising it over his shoulder already prepared to attack whoever was coming their way, when the figure stepped out of the shadows of the tall trees and into the moonlit clearing, recognition hitting him a kick to the head.

Jaehwan.

It was Jaehwan.

Fear had led them straight to Jaehwan.

A grin immediately split across his face, Jaehwan’s eyes going wide before him once their gazes locked.

“Hyogi!” Jaehwan called, voice a little strangled, rough, his skin shiny with sweat and smeared with mud, with blood.

That’s when Sanghyuk realized that Jaehwan was not the only one coming that way - there was a group of men after Jaehwan, too close for comfort, brandishing their weapons as they gave  _ his _ Arcane Advisor chase.

Not on his watch.

He felt the rage swell inside, power pulsing through his bloodstream, and roared loud, threatening, the men’s steps faltering with shock at the sound. When Jaehwan was close enough, Sanghyuk shouted a hasty “Jyani, get down!” before swinging his sword in a wide arch and bringing it down with all his might, slashing the nearest assailant from the right shoulder to the left hipbone. Jaehwan threw himself back just in time, sliding over the damp grass on his knees to avoid the blow.

While that was happening, Fear was swooping in over the group of bandits looking much larger and menacing than usual, like a blanket of darkness covering them, its wings elongated impossibly wide. The mercenaries promptly began scrambling away, screaming with pure terror trying to escape the demon.

“Good thing it’s on our side!” Wonshik yelled as he too joined the fray, slamming his shield right at the side of the head of a cowering bandit.

Sanghyuk laughed, wild and joyous - Jaehwan was safe, right behind him, and he was about to take revenge on the people who had been trying to hurt him. He was going to enjoy himself.

Running a few meters ahead, Sanghyuk swung his sword again, this time slamming it on the floor causing the ground to ripple around the zone of impact. The bandits closer to him all lost their footing, not prepared to have to balance themselves while trying to run away from Fear at the same time. Sanghyuk took the opportunity to look over his shoulder to check on Jaehwan, finding the mage sitting down on the floor, breathing rapidly trying to recover from what Sanghyuk assumed had been a very long run.

He didn’t have the time to reassure Jaehwan, couldn’t tell him he was safe now, for one of the bandits managed to pull himself together and was charging at him. Sanghyuk grinned, teeth sharp and eyes glowing, and stomped his way to the bandit who stumbled back at the sight of him, all scales and rage. He knew the effect he had on his foes, knew what Reaving brought to the surface in those who stood against him.

Sanghyuk easily gripped the man by the throat and lifted him up, the man skinnier and much shorter than himself, and brought him close to his own face. His grin widened. “Are you scared?”

His voice sounded like a growl, rumbling inside his throat, and the man whimpered, nodding frantically in response as if that would be enough to convince Sanghyuk to let him go. Maybe he should just scare the piss out of him and toss him aside. It’d be lesson enough.

Before he could, the man simply exploded in his grip, blood splattering everywhere, making him close his eyes as to not get blood in them. He looked behind himself and, like he presumed, Jaehwan had gotten up on shaky legs, a dagger on his hand and an ugly looking cut all the way down his inner forearm.

“Stop stealing my kills!” Sanghyuk shouted at him jokingly, and Jaehwan rolled his eyes, also smiling despite looking like he’d just been run over by a wayward wagon.

“You never did learn not to play with your food.” Jaehwan tossed back, a side grin on his face, and in a quick motion, sliced his own palm with the dagger and smeared the blood over the blade of Sanghyuk’s sword. It immediately came alive with power, pulsating in his hands. “Wonshik!”

Jaehwan rushed to Wonshik’s side, who had just finished off another bandit, and did the same he’d done with Sanghyuk’s weapon, smearing his blood over Wonshik’s sword and the front of his shield. Wonshik gave him a bright smile.

“Good to have you back!”

“Good to be back!” Jaehwan said back, now turning to the bandits who were regrouping for a new wave of assault. “I’ll cover you guys, go have fun.”

Sanghyuk didn’t have to be told twice, rushing forward to the nearest bandit with his sword low, slicing it upwards this time around, cutting the man through the chest. He caught a glimpse of Fear from the corner of his eyes, no longer a raven but a tall, pale figure, a wide mouth with sharp teeth and long fingers with even longer nails, eight jointed structures sprouting from its back like spider legs, fighting three bandits at the same time.

Wonshik was right - they were very lucky Fear was on their side.

Sanghyuk decided he didn’t want to know what Fear was doing, for the sake of his sanity and peace of mind, and instead turned to the next bandit, who was already coming at him with a rustic looking machete in hand. Sanghyuk growled again, and dismissing the sword entirely, easily dodged the first blow and grabbed the man’s wrist, pulling him forward and slamming down his head against the bandit’s. The man stumbled back, nose gushing blood, and Sanghyuk shoved him away with his foot, finishing him with a clean thrust of his sword once his back hit the ground; the strength behind it was enough that the blade cut through the man’s abdomen and hit the dirt underneath him.

He tugged his sword free, just as Jaehwan was shouting “ _ Hyogi, behind you _ !”. Sanghyuk simply swung the sword over his head as he spun around, bringing it down right on time - the bandit was so close one more step and he would have done him in, but before he could do so Sanghyuk had already slashed his head clean off.

Sanghyuk laughed and hooted, “That was  _ awesome _ !”

Jaehwan rolled his eyes, but there was a little smile trying to come out. Maker, he’d missed Jaehwan so much.

Not the time, though.

“At least kill them honorably!” Wonshik chided from somewhere on his left and Sanghyuk could only find it in himself to reply with a cheeky “ _ Honor my ass! _ ” before rushing to his next target. 

This time around there were two bandits before him and Sanghyuk found himself smiling again - was he about to show off a little bit to impress Jaehwan?

Yes.

He picked up speed, the two men gripping their weapons with shaky hands; Sanghyuk could only imagine what he looked like, with scales and golden eyes and sharp teeth, roaring like a dragon and brandishing a gigantic blood covered sword. Maybe he’d be shaking too, were he one of those two mercenaries.

The men were not ready for him when he finally reached them, feinting to one side before spinning and crouching, sword slashing them under their knees. They fell forward with cries of pain, and Sanghyuk simply stepped around them to finish them off with a clean strike on the back of their necks.

He looked cool doing that, probably. Jaehwan must have been impressed.

Turning around to check, he was disappointed to see that Jaehwan had his back turned, casting spells at a bandit of his own, and had completely missed that display of awesome. Damn.

Sanghyuk took a deep breath to recover and looked around to assess the situation. Wonshik was finishing off one lone mercenary to his left, while Jaehwan had just used his blood magic to make one bandit kill the other - _he’s so cool_ _he’s the best I’ve missed him so much_ \- and Fear was tearing a poor sod apart with its clawed hands.

Sanghyuk looked towards the woods, catching glimpses of movement beyond the tree line.

“Fear, go get the stragglers!” He yelled to the demon, and Fear promptly glided away at incredible speed -  _ wait, how many legs did it have under those rags it was wearing, four? - _ sharp nails dripping blood as it moved.

It was over.

Sanghyuk dropped his sword on the ground, letting instinct take over, and ran as fast as he could towards Jaehwan. Jaehwan turned around just in time to smile one of his lovely lopsided grins at him and stretch out his arms, and Sanghyuk easily hooked his arms around his middle and lifted him off the ground, spinning Jaehwan around, hearing his laughter right next to his ear.

He’d missed him so much, so much he didn’t know how he had managed to survive so long without him.

He spun round and round until exhaustion and dizziness got the better of him and he let himself fall back, careful to be the one to hit the ground and not Jaehwan, keeping him safe in his embrace so he wouldn’t get hurt. He liked Jaehwan’s weight on top of him, he faintly decided.

He squeezed him for a moment longer before turning his body slightly around so Jaehwan could roll off to the grass, now both of them lying side by side on the ground, panting and heaving but smiling at the dark night sky. Wonshik soon came over and joined them, dropping on the floor next to Jaehwan and making a noise of happiness for being off his feet. Sanghyuk could relate.

Catching movement next to him, Sanghyuk turned his head and was met with Jaehwan already looking at him, eyes closed almost all the way and that lovable half smile on his round lips.

“Thanks for the timely rescue, Your Highness.” Jaehwan said, voice rough and scratchy. Jaehwan probably needed to drink some water, but then again, so did Sanghyuk and Wonshik.

He wanted to answer with something smooth, maybe slip in a compliment, call Jaehwan cute or pretty. The words would not leave his throat.

In the end, he settled for a tired smile and a rumbling, “Anytime.”

“I’ve never been so happy to see people running towards me with swords.” Jaehwan joked, and Wonshik laughed on the other side of him. Sanghyuk only chuckled through his nose, moving his hand to grab Jaehwan’s in a spur of courage.

“I can’t believe Fear was guiding us to you all along. It just flew off in a panic and we followed, we had no idea—”

“Oh, right.” Jaehwan turned to Sanghyuk. He didn’t move his hand away and Sanghyuk tried to pretend he didn’t notice. “Did something happen to Daeguni? He hasn’t been updating me.”

Sanghyuk swallowed down the wave of jealousy. “He— It’s a long story, I’ll tell you more on the way back to camp, but basically he’s— He’s been passed out for the past two days.”

Jaehwan frowned. “He’s what?”

“Out. Just—” Wonshik said and made a vague gesture in the air with one hand, “Out.”

Jaehwan heaved a deep sigh. “I can’t be gone five minutes.”

“You can’t.” Sanghyuk said without thinking much and, groaning like an old man, pushed himself up to sit. “Come on, we shouldn’t stay here in case they have more people coming.”

“I have to get my stuff, I left it with Deceit.” Jaehwan also sat up, just now letting go of Sanghyuk’s hand. He missed Jaehwan’s touch already. “There’s a stream up that way too, so we can wash away some of this blood and sweat, we’re gross.”

“Sounds like a plan.” Wonshik agreed and got up, extending a hand to help Jaehwan do the same. Sanghyuk kicked himself in thoughts for not thinking of doing that first. “Good to see you again, Jaehwan.”

“Good to see you too, Wonshik.” Jaehwan beamed and turned to Sanghyuk, reaching out a hand to help him but retreating just as fast once he saw that Sanghyuk was already halfway up. “A-ah, sorry.”

Sanghyuk, again, kicked himself in thoughts, this time for not waiting two seconds to have an excuse to hold Jaehwan’s hand again. “It’s ok, I’m— Uh— Ah, there’s Fear!” Sanghyuk exclaimed, trying to divert the subject as the demon returned to their side, looking like a raven once more.

Jaehwan turned to Fear and smiled like a happy kid, making grabby hands at the demon who flew right over to perch on his arm. “Fear! I’ve missed you, you cute little devil.”

“Cute.” Sanghyuk echoed in a deadpan.

Wonshik made a face that spoke of confusion and concern in equal amounts. “You did see what it looked like five minutes ago, right?”

“Cuteness lies in the eye of the beholder.” Jaehwan said wisely. “Come on, let’s get my stuff and wash up, I think there’s blood all the way through my small clothes.”

Sanghyuk laughed, not even for finding the words that funny, but because he was— Just happy. Happy that Jaehwan was alright, happy that Jaehwan was back.

He would never allow Jaehwan to be on his own again.

 

✶✶✶

 

Hakyeon woke up feeling cold, lying with more than half of his body on the ground, obviously having tried curling towards Taekwoon in his sleep. He flushed, face heating up like a tea kettle, and thanked Andraste for the fact that nobody had witnessed it - if Hongbin had seen it, he would probably have wrangled Hakyeon back to his own bedroll and he wouldn’t have woken up like he did at all.

Letting go of Taekwoon’s hand, Hakyeon pushed himself up so he could crawl on his hands and knees towards him, placing a palm on Taekwoon’s forehead to make sure he didn’t get a fever. His skin felt cold, but not enough to cause any alarm; Hakyeon took the blanket he’d been using himself and covered Taekwoon with it, tucking the edges around him to make sure he would stay warm and safe from any drafts.

He stopped for a moment to look upon Taekwoon’s peaceful sleeping face, rosy lips slightly parted, chest rising and falling slow and rhythmically. His throat felt clogged, his heart tight, concern and infinite affection filling him up as he watched him. He should try giving him some more water. Did they still have milk? Probably not, but he’d ask Hongbin anyway.

After caressing Taekwoon’s hair one last time, Hakyeon got up and shuffled lazily outside, stretching his arms behind himself and rolling his shoulders. It was still dark, dawn perhaps one or two hours away judging from the position of the stars. Hongbin was sitting by the fire, wrapped up in a blanket and staring blankly at the flames, the rim of his eyes red - Hakyeon couldn’t tell if his friend was just tired or if he’d been crying. Hongbin raised his head to him as Hakyeon approached, expression giving nothing away.

“Why are you up so early?” Hongbin asked, one eyebrow raised. “Go back to sleep, you should—”

“I’m  _ fine _ , Binnie.” Hakyeon interrupted with a tired sigh. “And I’m antsy, if I have to spend one more second lying down I’m going to combust.”

Hongbin rolled his eyes. “Fine, stay up and light-headed then, whatever.”

“Do we have milk? I wanted to give Taekwoon something with a little more sustenance.” Hakyeon asked, combing his own hair with his fingers.

“Nope, we’ve been out of milk for days, even before you impaled yourself on a spear.”

“Damn.” Hakyeon pouted. “I guess I’ll just keep giving him water then.” Pausing, he watched Hongbin for a few seconds, taking in the ragged, exhausted air Hongbin had about him. “Have you slept at all?”

“Nope.”

“Where are Wonshik and Sanghyuk?”

“No idea.” Hongbin shrugged. The blanket slipped down one of his shoulders. “Fear began freaking out about something and took off, so they went after it.”

“What!? When?” Hakyeon’s eyes went wide, panic hitting him like a brick to the back of the head. “Why didn’t you wake me up!?”

“You had  _ just _ fallen asleep and you almost died from blood loss, no fucking way I’d wake you up.” Hongbin gave him his trademark judgemental glare. “That was about, what… Five, six hours ago.”

“What if something happened to them!?”

“Yeonie… Calm down.”

“How are you so calm!?”

“When you sleep for maybe five hours in the span of three days, very few things worry you.”

“You— Go to sleep, Binnie!” Hakyeon’s eyes, already wide, became even wider. “Are you insane, you need to rest!”

“I’ll rest, don’t worry.”

“Bin—”

“I will.” He insisted, giving Hakyeon a reassuring look. “I’m fine. Go take care of your Dalish Charming.”

“Ugh, you’re impossible.” Hakyeon groaned, beginning to move towards the stream to wash his face. “And if you don’t go to sleep soon, I’ll knock you out myself.”

“I will, I already said I will.” Hongbin replied, tired, wrapping the blanket tighter around himself.

Hakyeon decided to leave him alone after that.

After washing up and rinsing his mouth, Hakyeon trudged back to where Hongbin was sitting, one arm extended towards him offering a drying cloth. Hakyeon smiled at his friend as he took the cloth, dabbing it over his face to get rid of the excess water.

“You should eat something before you go play nurse.” Hongbin said, rubbing at one of his eyes like a sleepy kid. “And I have some tea here, if you want.”

“Not the one that will put me to sleep?” Hakyeon squinted at Hongbin, playfully suspicious. Hongbin just sighed.

“On the contrary, this one is to help keep you awake.”

“Ah, in that case I’ll have some.” Hakyeon finished drying up before going in search of something to eat, Hongbin quietly preparing him a mug of tea.

They were quiet for a while after that, Hakyeon having settled down next to Hongbin with a couple bananas and small cut of brown bread, Hongbin still wrapped around his blanket, staring ahead at the fire. He ate fast and silently, sipping his tea between one bite and the next, barely tasting anything. He was too worried, about Taekwoon and about Hongbin and now about Wonshik and Sanghyuk too, running off chasing demons. He should probably start sleeping less - it seemed every time he fell asleep, something important happened.

And what about Jaehwan? Without Taekwoon awake and in charge of his functions, then the link between them and Jaehwan was severed; if Jaehwan reached Caimen Brea without them and someone had followed him— 

Hakyeon took a deep breath and shook his head, tossing back the remaining bits of tea and setting the mug aside. Hongbin turned his eyes towards him.

“You really should rest more.”

“Look who’s talking.” Hakyeon scoffed and pulled Hongbin to a tight hug. Hongbin groaned unhappily, but didn’t try to push him away. “Thank you, Binnie.”

“For what?”

“For taking such good care of me—”

“Of course, you’re my friend—”

“—and for saving Taekwoon.”

Hongbin was silent for a long stretch of time before he sighed and pulled away from the hug. “I did it for you.”

“I know.” Hakyeon smiled softly at his friend. “I know you and Taekwoon are still not exactly best buddies, but he’s really not bad.”

“Of course you’d say that, having the hots for him and all.” Hongbin said, half teasing half serious. Hakyeon wanted to dig himself a hole in the ground to hide.

“T-that’s not the point.” He stammered. “He is a good person. He’s kind and he’s sweet, and I know you don’t like strangers, most of all strangers that somehow conflict with your interests, but— Give him a chance.”

“I kept him alive. If that’s not giving him a chance, I don’t know what is.” Hongbin sniffed, raising his chin. Hakyeon stared at him, going for his best puppy eyes, and soon enough Hongbin clucked his tongue. “Ugh, fine. He saved your life in a pretty epic way, so I guess I can tone down the hostility.”

Hakyeon chuckled through his nose, getting up to place a kiss on the top of Hongbin’s head. “It’s a start.”

“Whatever, go take care of your Dalish in distress.” Hongbin said, expression a grimace as he fixed his hair. “He’ll appreciate this sappiness way more than I do.”

“Fine, grumpy, the lack of sleep is really getting to you.” Hakyeon teased by pulling Hongbin’s earlobe gently, to which his friend simply batted his hand away impatiently. Still snickering, Hakyeon did as Hongbin suggested and moved back inside the tent to take care of Taekwoon.

Taekwoon was exactly like he’d left him, still sleeping under the blankets without having moved an inch. Hakyeon took a deep breath to control his nerves; that Taekwoon was still not awake after almost three days was beginning to frighten him as opposed to concern him. That was not normal, it couldn’t be normal. He should be awake by now, he hadn’t lost that much blood from what Hongbin had told him, his wound was not infected in any way, his temperature, breathing pattern and heart rate were all fine. He just wouldn’t wake up.

Hakyeon approached Taekwoon and sat down next to him, closer to where his head was resting, and checked his temperature again. He wasn’t as cold anymore and Hakyeon hummed, satisfied. He only moved the blankets to check if his stitches hadn’t come loose, if there was no new blood staining the bandages, pulling them up again once he made sure everything was alright.

Hakyeon exhaled slowly as he looked upon Taekwoon’s sleeping features, pulling one of his hands to his lap and squeezing it gently with both of his.

“Why won’t you wake up?” Hakyeon asked in a whisper, more to himself than Taekwoon as he already knew he wouldn’t give him an answer. He shifted, moving one hand to touch Taekwoon’s cheek lovingly. “I have so much I want to ask you, so much I don’t understand— I miss you. Idiot.” He inhaled a shaky breath, leaning forward to rest his forehead on Taekwoon’s chest. He could feel his slow heartbeat, a faraway drum against his skull. “If this ever happens again… Just let me go. I’m not worth all this, I’m not worth your life.”

He thought he felt Taekwoon’s hand twitch in his grip for a flicker of a second, looking down to make sure it was happening, but Taekwoon was as still as he’d been before, his hand limp in his. Hakyeon sighed, an outward expression of his disappointment, and gazed up at Taekwoon’s face once again. His eyes lingered on Taekwoon’s lips for a beat too long, time enough for him to feel the strange urge to kiss him - wasn’t that how fairy tales worked? True love’s kiss saving the day?

Just as quick as the thought came to him, Hakyeon was already pushing it away. No, it was wrong to take advantage of Taekwoon like that. It wasn’t a fairy tale, Taekwoon would not wake up if he kissed him; all that would happen was Hakyeon kissing someone who was not in a position to deny him. Taekwoon hadn’t kissed him in dreams for deeming it wrong, Hakyeon would not be the one to rush through morals and personal boundaries just because he felt like smooching the man who had saved his life. If— No,  _ when _ Taekwoon woke up, then… Then he would maybe kiss him, if Taekwoon was alright with that. Yes, only once he woke up.

The urge was still there, so Hakyeon found a compromise in pressing his lips to Taekwoon’s knuckles, lingering for a good few seconds before he pulled away.

After that he forced himself to let go of Taekwoon’s hand, placing it over his chest again, and moved away to fight the lingering impulse. The temptation was too strong, he couldn’t stare at Taekwoon for too long like that. It hurt more than it should.

He breathed deeply again, stomped down on those feelings, and moved to get Taekwoon some water. He’d get him to drink some, and then… Then… He had no idea what he’d do next. He’d figure it out as he went along. Maybe sew some of the clothes that needed mending?

He focused on giving Taekwoon water with the wooden spoon, little bits at a time to avoid wasting too much. They should really find something else to feed Taekwoon with, something with some sustenance. They had oranges, maybe he should feed him some orange juice? Or make some very thin soup with potatoes? Hakyeon would even hike to the nearest settlement to get him milk if need be.

He was musing about those issues when he heard voices outside, one of them definitely Hongbin’s yelling something akin to ‘leave me alone’, followed by laughter that was obviously Wonshik’s. Hakyeon got up to go check on them, make sure they were alright, and was surprised to see Jaehwan with them once he stepped out of the tent. Jaehwan turned to him and smiled a sunny smile.

“Hakyeon, hey!” Jaehwan greeted as he dropped his pack on the ground. “I see you’ve recovered well, Sanghyuk mentioned you were injured.”

Hakyeon could cry with relief. “Yes, I’m fine, but Taekwoon—”

“I know, Sanghyuk mentioned that too.” Jaehwan sighed and shook his head. 

Hongbin, defending himself from a very excited Deceit with both his hands as Wonshik watched on with a blissful smile and Fear on his shoulder, turned around slightly. “Just go heal him and get him to wake up before Hakyeon loses all his hair with concern.”

Jaehwan snorted. It didn’t escape Hakyeon’s notice the way Sanghyuk was looking at Jaehwan, like his advisor had hung the moons and the stars in the sky. It was so cute, so cute Hakyeon could coo and pinch Sanghyuk’s cheeks. He didn’t.

Instead, he motioned Jaehwan towards the tent and, consequently, to Taekwoon, letting him step in first before following in. Jaehwan tutted and shook his head like a nagging old lady, settling down on the ground next to Taekwoon. “Oh, Daeguni, you hopeless romantic with a hero complex, look at this mess.”

“Do you know why he’s not waking up?” Hakyeon asked uncertainly, barely noticing that Sanghyuk had entered the tent after them to watch Jaehwan work his literal magic. 

“I have my suspicions.” Jaehwan responded, moving Taekwoon’s blankets away and lifting his shirt to remove the bandages and take a look at the wound. He hissed painfully at the sight of it, cringing. “Ouch, that looks painful.”

“It is.” Hakyeon confirmed, remembering how unpleasant having a spear through him had felt, as he shuffled further inside, sitting down by Taekwoon’s head.

“Hongbin did a good job stopping the bleeding.” Jaehwan said as he examined Hongbin’s crude stitches and the reddened skin that had been cauterized. “And you’ve taken good care of him, he might be unconscious but he seems physically sound.”

“He is very strong.” Hakyeon said with a smile, placing a hand on the top of Taekwoon’s head. “I just don’t understand why he’s not waking up.”

“I’ll heal him and see what I can do about that.” Jaehwan turned around to give Hakyeon a reassuring smile before he got to work on Taekwoon’s injury, using a small pocket knife to remove the thread used to stitch his skin. Hakyeon winced at the sight and decided he didn’t want to watch that particular part of the healing process, turning his attention to Sanghyuk instead.

“So, Hongbin told me Fear took off flying and you chased it into the horizon?”

Sanghyuk, who had been staring like a lovesick fool at Jaehwan from the tent’s entrance, blinked and turned to Hakyeon. “A-ah, yes! Fear took us right to where Jaehwan was, we got to him just in time to save him from a wild band of mercenaries.”

“Talk about timely rescue.” Hakyeon chuckled, fingers tangling absently in Taekwoon’s dark hair.

“We’ll probably sleep for a week after that, though. Chasing demon birds is no joke.” Sanghyuk huffed, crossing his arms as his eyes moved towards Jaehwan again.

“Tell me about it, Deceit’s been freaking out for days, wouldn’t let me stop to rest.” Jaehwan paused what he was doing to change his sitting position to a more comfortable one, legs crossed now. “I’m not sure how my legs didn’t fall off.”

“Everyone can rest now.” Hakyeon said, significantly less worried now that the vast majority of them was safe. All the sheep back with the flock. “You two and Wonshik should bathe, eat something warm and then sleep for the rest of the day.” Hakyeon thought for a second and added, “Well, Hongbin should do that too. He hasn’t been sleeping since the attack.”

“He’ll sleep now.” Jaehwan assured him, taking off the last bits of thread from Taekwoon’s skin. “He’ll sleep even if I have to hex him.”

Hakyeon smiled. “I don’t think that’ll be necessary. And Jaehwan?”

“Hm?” Jaehwan raised his head to look at Hakyeon.

“Welcome back.”

Jaehwan’s face split into a wide grin. “Thank you! I’m happy to be back, I was going crazy on my own already. Fear and Deceit are fine, but they’re not the best conversationalists.”

“They probably learned that from Taekwoonie.” Hakyeon looked down at the elf fondly.

“I see you two have gotten much closer.” Jaehwan gave him a knowing look before he focused on Taekwoon’s injury again.

Hakyeon ducked his head bashfully. “We— Yes. A lot closer.”

“Daeguni thinks the world of you, you know.” Jaehwan commented idly. “I wasn’t surprised at all when Hyogi told me he saved you.”

“He should have let me die, I hate to think he was in so much pain for my sake.” Hakyeon sighed, expression darkening. “I’m not worth all this.”

“Daeguni clearly thought differently.” Jaehwan gave him another meaningful glance before carefully wrangling Taekwoon so he was lying on his side, this way exposing the exit wound on his flank. Hakyeon took the opportunity to change his position so that Taekwoon’s head was resting on his lap. “And if it was worth it or not, it’s a moot point. Everyone is alive, that’s what matters.”

“You’re probably right.” Hakyeon began combing Taekwoon’s hair with his fingers, slow, distracted. “All I want now is for him to wake up, I have so much to talk to him about.”

“As I’m sure he has a lot to talk about with you, too.” Jaehwan said, deftly removing the stitches from Taekwoon’s back. “And he will, very soon. I’m waking him up whether he likes it or not.”

“If he wakes up just to eat something I’ll be happy enough. It’s been three days.” Hakyeon sighed, tired and heavy. “I’ve been trying to give him water, but it’s hard to get him to drink it.”

“I can try making a herbal infusion later. It’s not a meal, but it’ll help.”

“How did we survive so long without you?” Sanghyuk asked from the entrance, reminding Hakyeon he was still there. He’d completely forgotten about his presence, so focused he was on Taekwoon.

Jaehwan giggled. “That’s a very good question, but then again, you survived very well the past few years without heeding  _ any _ of my wise advice, so you at least have some experience in surviving without me.”

“Hey, I followed your advice!”

“Yeah?” Jaehwan paused everything to turn to Sanghyuk, hands on his hips. “When?”

“Uh… There was that time you told me the meat had gone bad and that I shouldn’t eat it. I didn’t eat the spoiled meat.”

Both Jaehwan and Hakyeon gave Sanghyuk flat, unimpressed looks.

“I rest my case.” Jaehwan declared and turned back to Taekwoon, removing the last piece of thread. “Alright, I think I got everything out.”

“Now what?” Hakyeon went back to watching Jaehwan work eagerly.

“Now I do my thing.” Jaehwan wiggled his fingers theatrically, making Sanghyuk snort from the entrance, and held one hand near each side of the wound in Taekwoon’s abdomen, eyes closed. Nothing happened for a long time and Jaehwan cleared his throat, shaking his fingers to loosen up as he smiled awkwardly. “H-how embarrassing, I must be very tired, I’m sorry. I’ll try again.”

Hakyeon swallowed down the fear. Was Taekwoon’s wound incurable? Had he damaged himself permanently and could not be healed?

Jaehwan continued trying, eyes closed and lips pursed in concentration. Hakyeon was about to start crying already, when the tips of Jaehwan’s fingers sparked and lit up, the light spreading to his palms. Jaehwan sighed, relieved.

“Thank the Maker, not being able to cast a spell like this feels exactly like what being sexually impotent would feel like.”

Sanghyuk snorted unattractively from the entrance, and even Hakyeon found himself smiling. The wounds began to close, skin knitting itself together neatly, the burned areas Hongbin had cauterized smoothing over with new, unmarred tissue. Hakyeon let out a breath of relief - he could feel Taekwoon’s breathing against the skin of his inner arm, already stronger, less shallow.

Jaehwan finished healing Taekwoon in about two minutes, gently moving him to lay down again on his back. Hakyeon gladly helped him, not worried about ripping open any stitches this time.

“There we go, Daeguni is all patched up.” Jaehwan said, fixing Taekwoon’s clothes and pulling up the blankets again, smoothing them over like a particularly anal maid.

Hakyeon looked at Taekwoon’s sleeping face expectantly. He should wake up now, right? He wasn’t injured anymore, and Jaehwan didn’t seem to have found anything wrong, so he  _ should _ wake up. The seconds ticked by slowly, one, two, then ten, thirty. Taekwoon didn’t even stir.

Hakyeon’s throat clogged up again. “Wh-why isn’t he waking up?”

Jaehwan’s mouth twisted, brows knitting together into a thoughtful scowl. He moved a little on the floor to come closer to Taekwoon’s face, hovering over him while assessing his current slumbering state. He hummed, sitting back for a moment, tapping his index finger on his chin. “He  _ should _ wake up. He’s fine.”

Hakyeon took a shaky inhale, clenching his hands into tight fists to stop them from trembling as he watched Jaehwan hover his hands over Taekwoon’s forehead then down to his chest, that same pensive look to his face. Jaehwan leaned in again, squinting down at Taekwoon while humming, deep in thought.

He raised a hand to Taekwoon’s face, slowly, calmly, and—

Poked his nose with his index finger. “Boop!”

Hakyeon just stared at Jaehwan as he’d gone insane. “What the—”

“Daeguni, wake up!” Jaehwan pinched Taekwoon’s cheeks and pulled, the skin stretching slightly. “Nap time’s over, get up, you lazy bum!”

“What are you doing?” Hakyeon questioned, batting Jaehwan’s hands away from Taekwoon’s poor cheeks.

“I’m trying to wake him up, of course!” Jaehwan sat back, hands on his hips. Just now Hakyeon took notice of the deplorable state of his clothes - no amount of sewing would be able to salvage  _ that _ . “Taekwoon is fine, he’s just being a brat!” Jaehwan said, ending the sentence in a slightly louder voice and staring pointedly at Taekwoon.

“He’s— What?” Hakyeon blinked, slack jawed. His brain was having trouble getting its gears to turn.

“He’s not awake only because he doesn’t want to be.” Jaehwan sighed, shaking his head judgementaly. “He’s doesn’t want to wake up.”

“He—” Hakyeon looked down at Taekwoon. “That makes no sense, he’s— Keeping himself unconscious?”

“Yep.” Jaehwan nodded, pinching Taekwoon’s nose with the knuckles of his middle and index fingers and giving it a little shake. “Come on, Daeguni, wakey wakey!” No reaction. Jaehwan rolled his eyes and clapped his hands to clean away any dried blood, pushing himself up. “I’m too tired to butt heads with this mule right now. Can you believe this? He’s stubborn even when he’s sleeping.”

Hakyeon let out an incredulous little chuckle. “So there’s nothing we can do to wake him up?”

Jaehwan didn’t answer right away, watching Taekwoon with that thoughtful expression again. “I’m going to give him some time to wake up on his own. I couldn’t do anything right now even if I wanted to, I’m too tired and need to recover a little before doing what I have to do.” He paused, thinking for a few seconds more. “Yeah, ok, here’s what I’m going to do.” He turned to Hakyeon. “I’m going to go eat something and bathe and rest, exactly like you suggested, and if Daeguni is still out by the time I wake up, I’ll try to reach him directly.”

“That sounds reasonable, yes.” Hakyeon promptly agreed.

“I’ll go prepare something to eat, I think Hongbin made porridge.” Sanghyuk said, moving towards the tent’s entrance.

“Ew.” Jaehwan made a disgusted face and Sanghyuk gave him a shrug.

“It’s good for you and all we have on hand.”

“Fair enough.” Jaehwan watched Sanghyuk leave the tent before addressing Hakyeon again. “I’m going to have to use blood magic for it, but it shouldn’t be anything too hard. I don’t think he’ll make it easy for me, otherwise he’d let me in willingly.”

“Is it—” Hakyeon started, but snapped his mouth shut just as fast. Jaehwan motioned for him to go on. “The way you two kept in touch… Is it through dreams?”

Jaehwan’s eyebrows shot up with surprise, one corner of his mouth quirking up in a cute little smile. “Yes! He told you about it?”

“Not— Not exactly.” Hakyeon grimaced. “We didn’t really have the time to sit down and talk about it. It was very unfortunate timing.”

“I’ll say.” Jaehwan inhaled sharply through his nose. “Well, I should go rest, then. The sooner we get him up, the sooner we can get moving. We have a lot to go through and places to be.”

Hakyeon nodded quietly, and after giving him one last reassuring smile, Jaehwan left the tent after Sanghyuk. Hakyeon looked down at Taekwoon, sleeping soundly with his head on his lap. Sleeping because he wanted to stay asleep. Because he preferred being unconscious than to— What, talk to Hakyeon? Face him? Was he shy, was he scared, did he regret saving him?

He did his best to try and keep his concerns and questions at bay - he would find out once Taekwoon decided to wake up.

 

✶✶✶

 

Wonshik’s muscles were sore, tender to the touch; all he wanted to do was flop on his bedroll and sleep for the rest of the day, too tired to even feel hungry. If he didn’t have to bathe to scrub off all the dry blood and grime from his skin, wash the mud off his hair, he would already be dead to the world.

He didn’t linger by the stream longer than he had to, though, washing himself thoroughly but fast. He would bathe later again once he woke up, but at the moment he wanted his warm blanket and the sweet respite of being unconscious and unburdened, at least for the next few hours.

He was getting dressed inside his tent, pulling on the warmest pair of trousers he had available, when he heard the flap of the entrance rustle. He looked over his shoulder just in time to see Hongbin skulking inside, head low in a subdued manner that was very out of character for him.

“Hongbin?” Wonshik called, careful. “Are you alright?”

Hongbin nodded slowly, as if his head was too heavy to move, if the motion was too tiring, too much effort. “I’m fine.” He said, and even his voice sounded as if it was being forced out of him. “Can I sleep here?”

Wonshik blinked, turning halfway around to be able to look at Hongbin better. “Of course you can.”

“Thank you.” Hongbin mumbled, head still low, turning around. “I’ll get my bedroll.”

“Bin?” Wonshik called him back, and Hongbin stopped mid-motion. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing’s wrong.”

Wonshik took a deep breath, held it for a moment, and let it out slowly before speaking again. “Binnie… Talk to me.”

Hongbin shook his head, the motion a little manic, hair falling over his eyes. Wonshik’s concern was growing steadily stronger, more urgent, and like a dam breaking panic swelled inside of him once he heard Hongbin sniffle, the sound a little wet around the edges.

“Binnie—”

Before Wonshik could finish his sentence or move towards Hongbin, Hongbin was already turning around, lunging himself at Wonshik, arms snaking messily around his middle and face hidden on the crook of his neck, his entire body shaking with silent sobs, his tears falling on Wonshik’s bare skin.

“Binnie, what’s wrong?” Wonshik urgently asked, squeezing Hongbin tight against himself. “What happened?”

“It’s all my fault.” Hongbin said, surprisingly clear considering the tears. “It’s all my fault, Hakyeonie almost died and it’s my fault—”

“It wasn’t your fault, Bin, you—”

“I dragged him into this! And I was the one keeping guard!” Hongbin protested, pulling back a little to wipe his eyes on his sleeve. “If I had been more careful, if— If I—”

“Bin, stop, don’t do this to yourself.” Wonshik took hold of Hongbin’s face gently with both hands, using his thumbs to wipe away his tears. “It’s not your fault, you couldn’t have known.”

“But it’s my responsibility!” He insisted. “My best friend almost died, and then Taekwoon— Taekwoon almost died too, and if I had kept better watch then none of this would have happened!”

“Binnie, they’re fine.” Wonshik felt the need to remind him. “They’re alright, they’re alive, and you’re the one who kept Taekwoon from dying.  _ You _ did it.”

“It could have been you!” Hongbin blurted out, hiccuping pitifully and covering his mouth with one hand, tears streaming freely down his face. “It could have been you and it would have been my fault, and I can’t— I can’t—”

“Hey, it’s alright, I’m alright.” Wonshik gathered Hongbin in his arms again, a tight embrace. “Everyone is alright, Hakyeon and Taekwoon are fine, and I’m right here with you.”

“I feel like such a hazard.” Hongbin said between sobs, head tucked under Wonshik’s chin. “Everywhere I go, everyone I love, I keep hurting everyone, I—”

“No, don’t say that.” He tightened his embrace. “Nobody blames you for this, not Hakyeon, not Taekwoon and definitely not me.”

“It’s still my fault.” Hongbin breathed deeply, his respiration against Wonshik’s skin warm and not only a little pleasant. “They could have died, I’ve been so  _ scared _ , Shik—”

“I know.” Wonshik muttered, pressing his lips to the crown of Hongbin’s head. “But you’ve also been so strong these past couple of days, nursing Taekwoon and taking care of Hakyeon. You’ve done good, Binnie, so don’t sell yourself short.” One of Wonshik’s hands moved up Hongbin’s back to tangle in the hairs of his nape, fingertips massaging his scalp gently. “You’re stressed and exhausted, that’s why you’re feeling so strongly right now. You’ll feel better once you get some sleep, you’ve barely got any since the raid.”

“I slept.” Hongbin lied through his teeth, which only made Wonshik sigh, fond and tired.

“You didn’t. You dozed and napped, but you didn’t get any actual sleep.” Wonshik gently coaxed Hongbin to look up so he could see his face. His eyes were puffy and reddened from the tears, dark circles underneath, and yet Hongbin still looked lovely. Wonshik smiled gently at the trembling elf in his arms, stroking his cheek with the back of his knuckles. “Look at you. You look like a handsome little raccoon.”

Hongbin scowled and punched Wonshik a bit too hard on the shoulder, making him wince despite the smile still lingering on his lips. “Go hump a nug.”

Wonshik snickered, pulling Hongbin back to himself. “Don’t be like that, I was just trying to lighten the mood.”

“Yeah, I’ll lighten your face with my fist, see how you like that.” Hongbin grumbled, but Wonshik noticed how his cheeks were a little pink, his lips jutting out in an adorable bratty pout.

“At least it worked to help you stop crying.”

“You’re still an ass.” Hongbin pushed Wonshik away with little to no force by the chest, pausing for a moment to stare at Wonshik’s torso. “Wait, why are you half naked?”

Wonshik snorted. “You just noticed this now?”

“I was a bit preoccupied.” Hongbin shrugged, raising his chin arrogantly. Wonshik noticed how he didn’t move his hands away from his chest. “You know. With all the crying.”

“Right.” Wonshik grinned. “I’ll put on my shirt.”

“Mm.” Hongbin hummed, eyeing Wonshik’s bare abdomen appreciatively. Wonshik almost felt self-conscious, but then again, exposing his body was never a problem and he  _ was _ in very good shape. Let Hongbin look. “Are you cold?”

“A little, yes.”

“You know a good way to warm up?” Hongbin raised only his eyes, expression shifting. “Body heat.”

Now  _ that _ made Wonshik feel self-conscious. “Wh-what?”

Hongbin giggled and stepped back; it didn’t escape Wonshik’s attention that he let his small, adorable hands drag down his chest softly as he moved away. It raised goosebumps all over his body. “I’m sorry, I can’t resist seeing you so flustered. It’s cute.”

“Hm.” Wonshik glared at Hongbin from the corners of his eyes before swiftly putting on his shirt. “Go get your bedroll, you menace.”

“I will.” Hongbin nodded, watching Wonshik for a couple heartbeats longer. “I’m sorry about— All the crying.”

Wonshik moved towards Hongbin slowly, without hurry, without worrying he would run away - he knew he wouldn’t. Hongbin would stay right there, would let him come close, would let him touch him. It was strange being so sure of it after over a decade of distance and weeks of Hongbin’s dodgy behavior. Still without rush, he took hold of Hongbin’s hands, tugging him forward, closer. “You have nothing to be sorry about, Binnie.” He said, looking right into Hongbin beautiful brown eyes. “You can always come to me when you’re upset, ok? I don’t want you to just— Just bottle everything up and pretend you’re alright when you’re clearly not. There’s no shame in it.”

“I don’t want you to think I’m weak.” Hongbin admitted in a small voice, lower than a whisper. Wonshik sighed and shook his head, fond and so in love he could punch himself in the face were his hands not busy holding Hongbin’s.

“I never, for one second, thought of you as weak. You’re many things, but weak is not one of them.”

Hongbin laughed through his nose, a quick huff of air that sounded awfully self-deprecating. “I’m hiding it better than I thought.”

Wonshik shook his head and, again, wrapped his arms around Hongbin protectively. “You’re not hiding it. You can’t hide what’s not there.”

“But I—”

“No.” Wonshik interrupted. “You’re so strong, you’re so brave, Binnie. It doesn’t matter if you get scared or sad sometimes, what matters is that you still get up and keep going despite it all. You’ve been like this since I’ve met you, it’s one of your greater qualities.”

“You must really love me.” Hongbin said, humor in his voice along with a drop of bitterness. “They say love makes you blind.”

“Blind, deaf and stupid, yes.” Wonshik agreed, smiling. “It’s still the truth. You’re strong.”

“Sap.” Hongbin exhaled slowly, resting his forehead on Wonshik’s shoulder. “Thank you.”

“Go get your bedroll, raccoon boy.” He teased, stepping back once Hongbin raised his head to glare at him. “You need to sleep. Go on.”

Hongbin huffed, bottom lip jutting out ever so slightly, and turned around to go retrieve his bedroll. Wonshik watched him go, a warm feeling in his heart; it felt like progress.

 

✶✶✶

 

Sanghyuk was feeling strange. Like his mind and his body were not occupying the same space, like he was floating somewhere far away and wasn’t actually  _ there _ — Nothing around him felt real.

Jaehwan was back. Jaehwan was back and he was alright. Sanghyuk had been looking forward to that for so long, and now that it was finally happening it just didn’t register inside his brain that it was reality and not a dream. Jaehwan. There. With him. Safe.

Or, well,  _ relatively _ safe, considering none of them were in a situation that allowed for complete safety.

Jaehwan was there, though. He was there and Sanghyuk was happy, elated, but also scared and nervous and feeling wrong-footed and insufficient. He wasn’t sure how to act, what to say. He’d spent so much time daydreaming of Jaehwan, imagining how it would feel to have him in his arms, contemplating the depths of his feeling towards Jaehwan that now being around the real Jaehwan was— A tad bit awkward.

Sanghyuk felt different too. Not his feelings for Jaehwan - never  _ that _ \- but Sanghyuk himself. He’d changed during that time they spent away from one another, life outside the sturdy walls of Castrum Draconis making him see things differently, see the world differently, see people differently. He’d felt detached from the outer world once, seeing it all through a glass bubble - he was inside, the rest of the world was outside and both were not meant to mix together. Oil and water. That changed once Sanghyuk was rudely catapulted into the world, his glass bubble shattered along with his old perspectives. Looking back now, he found that he could have been considered lazy, selfish and unhelpful. He didn’t consider himself any of those things now; he wanted to help, he wanted to be active in assisting his companions, he wanted to learn basic skills that could be useful. Cooking, sewing, washing clothes, mending wounds, things he’d never given a second thought about, things he hadn’t realized he wanted until Jaehwan had returned.

Jaehwan being back— It felt like the fog in his mind had cleared away, allowing his thoughts to order themselves, present themselves clearly again. When Jaehwan was still out there, alone and far away, his mind was stuck in that cycle of worrying and missing and longing and wishing time would move faster because he wanted Jaehwan around,  _ needed _ him around. Now he was there and Sanghyuk could breathe easy again. Could think.

Jaehwan was back. Jaehwan was back and Sanghyuk was petrified.

Running a hand through his still wet hair from the bath he’d taken a little while ago, Sanghyuk focused on his breathing to try and calm down. It was Jaehwan, it was just Jaehwan. They’d been around each other daily for almost a decade, there was no reason for him to be so nervous. He looked upon the bedroll he’d set out for Jaehwan, next to his but at a reasonable distance so Jaehwan wouldn’t think Sanghyuk had any weird intentions; he smoothed out a corner that was a little crumpled, fluffed the thin pillow, took a deep breath again. That was getting ridiculous already, it was just Jaehwan. Just Jaehwan.

Jaehwan chose that moment to enter the tent, his own hair damp from the bath he’d been taking, wearing fluffy looking woolen robes that made him look tiny and more adorable than usual, the sleeves long enough to swallow his hands. Sanghyuk’s heart fluttered at the sight.

Jaehwan stopped walking when he took notice of the bedrolls, expression hard to decipher. “I’m… Sleeping here?”

Sanghyuk’s heart stopped fluttering, crash landing inside his ribcage. “Yes. Do you not want to?”

“No— I mean, yes— Ugh, what I mean is, I don’t mind sleeping here, it’s just… Is it ok for you? To share your tent with me?”

“Of course it is!” Sanghyuk responded with a little too much excitement. He cleared his throat. “You, uh— Where were you planning to sleep?”

“I don’t know, I thought I’d shack up with Hakyeon and Taekwoon, but in retrospect that would probably feel like sharing a room with two newlyweds.” Jaehwan scoffed. Sanghyuk snorted. “I wasn’t expecting you to just— Just—”

“If you don’t want to sleep here I can—”

“No!” Jaehwan exclaimed, one of his hands coming up as if Jaehwan was trying to physically stop Sanghyuk from speaking, the sleeve rolling down to the crook of his elbow. Sanghyuk tried not to stare at the milky skin of his arm and how soft it seemed to the touch. “I— I’m fine sleeping here. Yes, this is— It’s fine by me, yes.”

Sanghyuk nodded, the motion stiff and mechanic.  _ Get a grip, it’s just Jaehwan, it’s not a stranger, it’s Jaehwan— _ “Alright, then, uh… Yes, you should— You should rest, you must be exhausted.”

“I am, yes!” Jaehwan agreed, nodding in short and quick motions as he moved to where Sanghyuk had placed his bedroll, in the innermost side of the tent - he hoped Jaehwan wouldn’t ask why, because he really did  _ not _ want to confess that he wanted Jaehwan to sleep on the safest side. Sanghyuk could sleep close to the entrance, be the one standing between a possible assailant and Jaehwan. He was done with letting Jaehwan just waltz into danger. Never again.

They were both quiet as they settled down on their respective bedrolls, crawling under blankets and shifting around in search of a comfortable position. Sanghyuk couldn’t get comfortable, though. Couldn’t relax. He just laid there, fingers crossed over his stomach, staring at the roof of the tent and chewing on his lips. Jaehwan was  _ right there _ . If he reached over, he would be able to comfortably rest his hand on Jaehwan’s shoulder - that close. An arm’s length away. Close enough to touch. After so many days without him, all the weeks not being able to see him or hear his voice, there he was. Right there. Smelling like soap and herbs. Embrium. Familiar, safe, and yet— There was something different, like there was a wall between them. Sanghyuk didn’t know what to make of it, didn’t know how to get past it.

He risked a glance towards Jaehwan and found him lying in the exact same position as himself, belly up, fingers crossed over his stomach, staring at the roof of the tent. Sanghyuk looked away, biting his lips to smother a fond smile.

Sanghyuk cleared his throat, deciding to be the one to break the silence. “So, uh… How was Perendale?”

“Oh, you know.” Jaehwan answered, forcefully cheerful. “Dusty and unpleasant.”

“Yes. Of course.”

A beat of silence. “I… I ran into an old friend while I was in the Circle there, from my time in the College of Magi.”

“Yeah?” Sanghyuk turned his head to look at Jaehwan, interest piqued. “Which friend?”

“Her name is Heeyeon. I call her Ning-ning.” Jaehwan informed, also turning his head to look at Sanghyuk. “She… She was of great help to me while I was there. Helped me escape.”

“She did?”

“Yeah.” A small smile appeared on Jaehwan’s lips. “I was wondering, actually… Once this is all over and done, and we’re back in the capital, and you’re crowned king… Do you think there’s a way to help her? Get her out of that place?”

“Of course!” Sanghyuk agreed without batting an eye. “It’s the least I can do after she kept you safe.”

It could be the faint light from the oil lamp, but Sanghyuk could have sworn Jaehwan’s cheeks darkened a little bit. Wishful thinking.

“Thank you. That place— I can’t just leave her there, it’s— It’s awful.”

“I’ll get her out. Maybe bring her to live at the Castrum, give her a position.”

Jaehwan’s eyebrows shot up. “Really?”

“Really.” Sanghyuk smiled, hoping the action was reassuring somehow. “We’re going to need new staff anyway, after— You know.” He shrugged, hoping the mention of the massacre, even implied, wouldn’t dampen the mood. “And I would feel more reassured with mages that aren’t in the Mortalitasi order around.”

“Thank you.” Jaehwan exhaled the words, eyes shining even in the half light. The sun was just beginning to rise outside, but the tent was still largely untouched by it. “She’s very good with kids, maybe she can be a tutor. Or maybe take care of the library.”

Sanghyuk chuckled. “Easy. We need to get back to the Castrum first and I need my crown.  _ Then _ we can start appointing positions.”

“A-ah, right, sorry, I— Got a little excited.” Jaehwan ducked his head, chin disappearing under the blanket. Sanghyuk wanted to pinch his cheeks, kiss the tip of his nose.

“It’s alright. I just want to make sure I’ll be able to fulfill the promise before I get your hopes up.”

Jaehwan turned his head towards him, blinking slowly. “I know. Thank you.”

Silence again. Sanghyuk wanted to roll over, closer to Jaehwan, and gather him into his arms, hold him against himself as they slept. He looked away instead.

“What about you? I hear you guys had some fun while I was away.” Jaehwan asked, light, playful.

Sanghyuk snorted. “I’m not sure ‘fun’ is the best word to describe it.”

Jaehwan giggled - music to Sanghyuk’s ears. “It can’t have been  _ that _ bad.”

“No, it wasn’t  _ bad _ , it was… I don’t know.” Sanghyuk sighed. Jaehwan turned around, lying on his side now so he could face him. Sanghyuk followed suit, also turning around to face Jaehwan. “I got a little closer to the others, I guess. Wonshik and Hakyeon, mostly.”

“Yeah?” Jaehwan smiled, a lopsided thing that made it hard for Sanghyuk not to sigh like a lovesick sap. “That’s good, I was worried you’d feel a little lonely.”

Sanghyuk gave him a one shouldered shrug. “Any loneliness I felt was sure nothing compared to what you experienced out there on your own.”

Jaehwan bit his lips, eyes shifting to the floor next to his head. “It was worth it.”

“It better have been, because I’m not letting you do that again.” Sanghyuk muttered, sounding a little too much like a spoiled brat.

Jaehwan looked back at him and smiled again. “I’m not going anywhere. I’ve done what I set out to do, my duty now is here. With you.”

“So you won’t leave anymore?” Sanghyuk’s voice shook some at the end; he hoped Jaehwan didn’t notice.

“No. Not anytime soon, at least.” Jaehwan answered, smile widening. “I’ll only ever leave again if it’s necessary to keep you safe, and right now I feel like you need me around, so,” he paused to shrug, “I’m afraid you’re stuck with me.”

Sanghyuk let out a relieved breath. “Good. I… I’ve missed you.”

He didn’t mean to confess that, but found that he didn’t regret it in the slightest once he did. It was the truth - he  _ had _ missed Jaehwan. He’d missed Jaehwan so much that he was still missing him, his heart still processing that he was back, safe, within arm’s reach.

Again, Sanghyuk had the impression Jaehwan’s cheeks turned a little rosy. “I’ve missed you too.”

The confession was made in a barely there whisper, no louder than leaves rustling in the breeze, but Sanghyuk’s heart reacted as if Jaehwan had shouted the words, as if his murmur was echoing inside his mind. He was so happy he could cry, but didn’t; he only smiled, so wide his cheekbones pushed up his lower eyelids and narrowed his eyesight, made his cheeks hurt with the strain of smiling so wide. Jaehwan was smiling too, although not as wide - Jaehwan’s smile was bashful, timid. Sanghyuk didn’t even find it surprising when his heart stuttered, falling deeper in love with his Arcane Advisor than what he thought was possible.

Falling deeper for Jaehwan had ceased to surprise him long ago.

“Sleep, Your Highness.” Jaehwan said, sounding soft and sleepy and sweet. “We’re barely making sense so tired we are.”

Sanghyuk couldn’t help a little chuckle. “You’re right. Good night, Jyani.”

“Good night, Hyogi.”

 

✶✶✶

 

Jaehwan entered the tent Hakyeon and Taekwoon were sharing with little flourish, finding Hakyeon barely awake and Taekwoon still out. Jaehwan sighed, disappointed and yet not surprised with Taekwoon’s lack of initiative. Good thing he already came prepared and wouldn’t have to make a second trip to his tent to retrieve the items he would need.

Hakyeon blinked up at him blearily, face still puffy from sleep, but already hard at work trying to get Taekwoon to drink some water. “Hey.”

“Good morning.” Jaehwan chirped. “Or, well. Afternoon.”

Hakyeon smiled at Jaehwan, fuzzy and a little groggy. “What have you got there?”

“Ah, this?” Jaehwan raised the little pouch he was carrying. “Some stuff I’ll need for the little ritual I have to do to get into Daeguni’s head.”

“Is it dangerous?”

“Not really.” Jaehwan shook his head as he approached to settled down next to Taekwoon. “It could be if Daeguni was possessed by a demon or something, but he isn’t. Besides, he might be acting like a brat now, but he wouldn’t let anything bad happen when he has a choice.”

“You’re right, he wouldn’t.” Hakyeon agreed with a heavy exhale. “Are you going to force him to wake up?”

“Not exactly.” Jaehwan said, giving Hakyeon a vial with green liquid inside. “Here, it’s the herbal infusion I mentioned.”

“Oh, thank you.” Hakyeon took it and opened it, carefully dropping a little bit of the contents into Taekwoon’s mouth, keeping his lips parted by gently holding his chin.

“And I’m not going to force him.” Jaehwan returned to the previous topic as he started taking the items he’d need from the pouch. “I’m going to have a serious talk with him and remind him that we don’t have time for him to have an existential crisis. If he wants to have a meltdown and drown in his angst he can do it awake like the rest of us.”

Hakyeon at least chuckled at that. Jaehwan gave him a brief smile.

He took the small ritual dagger from the pouch, the runes etched on the handle and the lyrium embed on the blade sparkled as they caught the light. “When I start the ritual,” Jaehwan said, taking a few whites stones carved with runes from the pouch, “I am going to fall asleep, so don’t be alarmed if I drop. You don’t have to worry about waking me up, unless I take too long - more than one hour should be odd, I don’t think it’ll take that long to talk to him.”

“Alright, so if you’re out for more than an hour, I’ll wake you up.” Hakyeon repeated with a nod. Jaehwan gave him a thumbs up.

“Exactly! Anything before that, do  _ not _ wake me up. I’ll wake up on my own once I’m done, and I’d rather only go inside Daeguni’s head once.” He shuddered.

“I… Would also prefer if you only did that once.” Hakyeon agreed, eyes narrowed just the slightest as Jaehwan arranged the stones in their right positions, placing one over Taekwoon’s forehead.

“Good, so we agree!” Jaehwan beamed at him before taking one of Taekwoon’s hands to prick his finger with the dagger. Hakyeon looked like he was about to protest, but pursed his lips and stayed quiet. He knew it was necessary, knew that Jaehwan took no pleasure in hurting Taekwoon.

He smeared some of the blood on the tip of his middle finger and closed his eyes, murmuring an incantation under his breath while he lifted his hand, drawing the same rune on the stone in Taekwoon’s forehead on his own, right between his brows. He drew the power that existed in Taekwoon’s blood - he was surprised at how strong that power was, considering Taekwoon was no mage - and soon enough he felt that familiar tingling, the crackling of the Fade around him, pulling him in; he let himself go, let himself drown in it, his head light, his chest lighter, and just like that, he was out.

 

✶

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SEE, everyone is alive and well, have some faith in me. :c
> 
> thank you so much for all the kudos, messages and comments, every little thing means the world to me ♡ and i've been getting so many new readers too, HI AND WELCOME TO THE PIT OF SUFFERING *waves energetically*
> 
> as always for any inquiries, comments, suggestions, theories and, yes, memes, you can leave your comment here, or you can follow me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/ghostlike91) where i make bad puns and whine about writing, or hmu on [tumblr](https://ghostlike91.tumblr.com/) or [curious cat](https://curiouscat.me/ghostlike) if you want to keep your secret identity.
> 
> thank you again for reading, i hope you enjoyed this chapter! see ya next friday, babes ♡


	15. Devotion

✶

 

Jaehwan opened his eyes and it felt like he hadn’t opened them at all; everything around him was darkness, endless, vast. Like he had just stepped into a dimension void of anything, empty and lonely.

His immediate reaction was to roll his eyes and huff, unimpressed.

What a dramaqueen.

“I get it, Daeguni, you’re sad, now show up so we can talk properly!” He shouted into the void, his own voice echoing back to him. The silence stretched around him as Jaehwan waited, tapping his foot impatiently on the floor. It didn’t make a sound. “Daeguni, don’t make me go after you!”

“I’m here.”

Jaehwan turned around and, sure enough, there was Taekwoon, arms crossed over his chest and pouting like a child who just had his toy stolen. Jaehwan smiled gently at him.

“Hey.” He greeted, walking over to Taekwoon. “I was worried you wouldn’t show up.”

Taekwoon rolled one shoulder in a dismissive shrug. Jaehwan couldn’t help but notice how Taekwoon’s expression, usually stoic at best, was lacking the usual sharp dagger’s edge that said he could - and would - stab someone if they crossed him. Taekwoon was subdued, dull, despondent. Jaehwan took a deep breath and shook his head.

“This just won’t do.” He finally said. “How about you take us somewhere nicer? Like, somewhere with a fireplace.”

Taekwoon arched an eyebrow at him but didn’t protest, and in the blink of an eye Jaehwan found himself standing in a comfortable room, perhaps a tavern Taekwoon had visited in the past, or maybe just some place he conjured up in the spot. Taekwoon’s talent was awesome like that.

Jaehwan didn’t waste any time and grabbed Taekwoon by the arm, guiding him over to the simple couch positioned in front of the roaring fireplace, coaxing him to sit down before taking a place next to him.

“Alright, much better. Now, talk to me.”

“There’s nothing to talk about.” Taekwoon mumbled, legs tucked underneath his body as he squeezed himself against the corner of the couch, trying to make himself smaller.

“Come on, we both know that there is.” Jaehwan insisted, always gentle. “You saved Hakyeon’s life. He’s worried sick about you.”

“He’s alright?” Taekwoon risked a glance towards him. Jaehwan nodded.

“He is. He’s already fussing over you like nothing ever happened.”

“How do you know that? Are you back with them?”

“I am! I’ve been back for a good few hours now.” Jaehwan beamed. Taekwoon hummed in acknowledgement.

“I see. Welcome back.”

“Thank you!” Jaehwan chirped. “But as I was saying, Hakyeon is very worried about you.”

“He shouldn’t be.” Taekwoon murmured, eyes low again. “Now he knows that I’m— That I’m wrong.”

“Daeguni… There’s nothing wrong with you.” Jaehwan said with a sigh. “And Hakyeon seems to already have a vague idea of what you can do. He doesn’t seem put off in the slightest.”

Taekwoon scoffed to himself. “Give it time. That’ll pass.”

“Oh for— Ok, look.” Jaehwan shifted on the couch, turning sideways to face Taekwoon. “I don’t know what’s going on between you two, I was not present to witness your blooming romance, but I’ve seen and heard enough to gauge that there is  _ definitely _ something going on between you and Hakyeon. You should see the way he looks at you, you might as well have hung the stars.”

“You don’t understand.” Taekwoon’s voice was so filled with pain that Jaehwan snapped his mouth shut. “Jaehwan— I can’t do this. Not again.”

“Daeguni—”

“Everyone I’ve ever loved, everyone I’ve ever cared about— All of them left, one by one, and I had to let it happen over and over and over again.” Taekwoon jerkily shook his head. “Even my sisters were taken from me, the only family I had, and I promised myself that I would never let myself get attached to anyone, but Hakyeon— I shouldn’t have let him near me, I should have pushed him away.”

“Why? Hakyeon seems as attached to you as you are to him, so why—”

“Because the moment he learns the truth about me, he’ll leave too.”

Jaehwan took a deep breath. “He won’t. I know you’re scared that he’ll leave you, and I’m sure you have good reason for that. I can’t even begin to imagine everything you’ve been through, and I won’t presume to try, but you need to give Hakyeon a chance to surprise you.”

Taekwoon was quiet for a long time, playing with a loose thread on the arm of the couch. “I’m afraid.”

“I know.” Jaehwan reached over to pat Taekwoon’s shoulder affectionately. “Have you heard from your— Whatever he is?”

Taekwoon chuckled at Jaehwan’s uncertainty. “I have. I spoke to him at length about this.”

“What did he say?”

“You know. The usual.” He shrugged. “I thought he would be angry, or at least disappointed with me, but he wasn’t. I suppose that’s a good thing.” Taekwoon paused, staring at the fire for a long moment before continuing. “He gave me the usual advice. I’m not sure it helped - he was always very cryptic.”

“At least you won’t be punished for breaking your vow.” Jaehwan commented and Taekwoon gave him a questioning look. Jaehwan grinned. “Sanghyuk told me all about your shouting match with your former Keeper.”

Taekwoon huffed a bitter laugh. “Desperate times.”

“The guy sounds like a real asshole. Want me to hex him?”

That, at least, made Taekwoon chuckle. “No, it’s alright. He’s not worth wasting mana on.”

“You’re no fun.” Jaehwan gave Taekwoon an exaggerated pout. Then, more serious, he continued. “You know you can’t stay here forever, right?”

Taekwoon was quiet for a couple heartbeats. “I know.”

“We have a lot to do still, I’ve learned some things in Perendale. I want to give you space to process this on your own time, but… We can’t afford to linger where we are for much longer.”

“I know, I just— I’m not ready to face him.” A shaky breath escaped Taekwoon’s parted lips. “Hakyeon, he’s— I don’t know what I’ll do when he leaves.”

“ _ If _ he leaves.” Jaehwan calmly corrected. “You don’t know what he’ll do. You know a lot of things, Daeguni, but you can’t predict the future.” As Taekwoon didn’t seem inclined to speak, Jaehwan continued. “He’s been nursing you since he woke up, did you know?” Taekwoon shyly shook his head. “Have you been hearing what he says?”

“No, I— I’m tuning it out.”

“Well, tune it in.” Jaehwan jabbed at Taekwoon’s side with a bony finger. “He says the nicest things about you. Just earlier he was gushing about how strong you are. He even called you ‘Taekwoonie’. Constantly caressing your hair, holding your hand, he’s been  _ obsessed _ with trying to get you to drink water and finding a way to feed you something.”

“He— What?” Taekwoon was staring at him as if Jaehwan had suddenly turned green.

“You heard me. Hakyeon— I can’t presume on what he feels, but whatever it is, he cares about you. A  _ lot _ . You know what he said to me, when I was healing the wounds you took from him? He said that you should have let him die because he hates to see you pain.”

Taekwoon jerkily shook his head, denying those words. “No, he— No.”

“Yes. He said it.” Jaehwan insisted. “So have some faith in him, hm? You’ll have to face him sooner or later.”

“I know, I— I will.” Taekwoon agreed with a nod. “I just need a moment. I need to think of what to say.”

“The truth, Daeguni. Just give him the truth.”

“That’s easier said than done.” Taekwoon inhaled long and deep. Jaehwan watched his expression for a moment, so very stiff and uncomfortable - he could only wonder at all the conflicting emotions going on inside his head. “I want him to know. I’ve been meaning to tell him for a while now, I truly have. I didn’t expect to have to— That I would be forced by circumstance to reveal it. He deserved better than this.”

“You can’t change what happened. You can only choose what to do  _ now _ .” Jaehwan wisely advised - it was his job, after all. “Hakyeon is an understanding person. He has an open mind and was brought up by a family who doesn’t fear magic the way you are used to. He already knows what you did to take the wound from him, and  _ still _ he sits by your side night and day to make sure you’re alright. Have some faith in him.”

“Jaehwan—” Taekwoon started, but closed his mouth soon enough. There was a blush creeping up his cheeks, down his neck, to the tips of his pointy ears. “Hakyeon— He makes feel things I’ve never felt before. Want things I’ve never wanted, care about things I never cared about. It’s so foolish of me, feeling so strongly about someone I haven’t known for so long, but it’s how I feel. Just the thought that I might lose him now— I’m scared.”

“Daeguni… I’m not the one you should be saying these things to.” Jaehwan reminded with a teasing side smile. Taekwoon’s blush deepened. “You have to take the leap and tell him.”

Taekwoon nodded, short, sharp movements of his head. “I will. I just need a moment.”

“You’ve had, what, four days already.”

Taekwoon’s eyes widened at that. “It’s been  _ four days _ ?”

Jaehwan raised an eyebrow at him. “You didn’t know?”

“It’s not like I can tell if it’s night or day in here…”

“Well, now you know.” Jaehwan shrugged. “So whatever it is you want to say to Hakyeon, you should figure it out fast. You really need to wake up to drink some water and eat something soon, you might be fine in here but your body is suffering out there without it.”

“Alright. Just— Give me a couple hours. I’ll wake up.”

“Good.” Jaehwan side eyed him briefly before smiling and pushing himself up. “Come here.”

“No.”

“Daeguni. Come. Here.” Jaehwan repeated, arms open wide. “I’m not leaving until you do.”

Taekwoon glared at him, one of his death glares that made him look closer to the usual Taekwoon, and reluctantly got up and approached Jaehwan. Jaehwan didn’t wait too long before pulling Taekwoon to himself and hugging him as tight as he possibly could. Taekwoon gasped and whined, complaining that he couldn’t breathe, but Jaehwan knew he was exaggerating. That big baby.

“No matter what happens,” Jaehwan began, still hugging Taekwoon, “know that I’m on your side, ok? You won’t be alone.”

Taekwoon was quiet for a moment, no longer struggling. Jaehwan felt him hug him back, awkward as awkward could be - it was a start, though.

“Thank you, Jaehwan.”

“Call me Jyani.”

“Don’t push it.”

“You’re no fun.” Jaehwan sighed, finally pulling away from the hug to smile up at Taekwoon. “Stop tuning the sound out, ok? Listen to what Hakyeon has to say, I’m sure he talks to you when nobody’s around. Listen.”

“Mhm, I will.”

“And wake up.”

“Yes.”

“Fast.”

“I will.”

 

✶✶✶

 

Wonshik stumbled out of his tent, still barely awake despite it being midafternoon. He squinted at his surroundings, eyes stinging with the bright sunlight. He spotted Sanghyuk by the stream, seemingly washing clothes, and Hongbin near the unlit campfire going through their supply packs. Jaehwan and Hakyeon were nowhere in sight, which meant they were either tending to Taekwoon or still sleeping.

He yawned, blindly beginning to shuffle his way to the stream, opening his eyes again just in time to see Sanghyuk lift up his head and smile at him in greeting. He smiled back, likely looking a bit dopey.

“I take it you had a good night’s rest.” Sanghyuk chirped, more cheerful than he’d been in weeks. “Or, well, morning-to-afternoon’s rest.”

“I don’t think I was asleep, I was straight up comatose.” Wonshik groaned in response, kneeling by the edge of the water and dunking his head inside without a care - he missed the judgemental look Sanghyuk gave him. He reemerged with an exaggerated impulse, tossing his head back and making water splash everywhere, including at Hongbin who wasn’t that far away.

“Hey!” Hongbin called, wiping the water droplets from the side of his face. “Rude!”

“Crap, I’m sorry, Binnie!” Wonshik called out while Hongbin picked up the items he’d been fiddling and moved away from the stream, settling down again at the other side of the camp.

Sanghyuk snickered. “Good to know you two are getting along, if that was me he would have pushed my head back into the water and held me there until I somehow developed gills.”

Wonshik opened his mouth to reply but thought better of it, rephrasing the words in his head with, “I was about to say it’s not like that, but you’re probably right.”

“Not sure how you tamed that temper of his.” Sanghyuk huffed, equally amused and sceptical. “He’s like a small tornado. But a tornado made of angry wolves. He’s like… A wolfnado.”

Wonshik’s laughter was so sudden he choked on his tongue. “A  _ what _ !?”

“A wolfnado. Or a tornwolf— No, that just sounds like a wolf faced with a difficult decision. Wolfnado.”

“Maker’s breath, you sure have a very interesting way to see things.”

Sanghyuk beamed at him. “Thank you!”

“Hongbin’s not  _ that _ bad, though.” Wonshik sighed after his laughter subsided, looking over his shoulder at the topic of their conversation. “Although I’ve met him during a time when he was more— Amenable.”

“Lucky you, I think you and Hakyeon are the only ones here who are in no danger of losing limbs.” Sanghyuk made a face, just a little widening of eyes that said a thousand words.

Wonshik rolled his eyes and smile, messing up Sanghyuk’s hair playfully before moving towards Hongbin, “Just keep washing those clothes, Your Highness.”

Sanghyuk’s laughter was still ringing in the background by the time Wonshik took a place on the ground next to Hongbin, who looked up at him and clucked his tongue.

“Has it ever occurred to you to dry your hair properly?” Hongbin rummaged through one of the packs and pulled out a drying cloth, tossing it at Wonshik’s face. Wonshik gurgled with surprise. “If you get sick don’t come running to me, I’m not nursing you back to health.”

Wonshik smiled to himself at Hongbin’s words; both of them knew Hongbin wouldn’t leave his bedside if Wonshik ever fell ill. “You wouldn’t have to, Jaehwan would just whip up some magic goo and I’d be back on my feet in about five seconds. The perks of having a healer around.”

“Mm, true.” Hongbin granted, then huffed a heavy sigh, shoulders slumping. “We  _ really _ should move out soon.”

“I’m sure Taekwoon will be up in a bit, now that Jaehwan’s on the case.” Wonshik shrugged, unconcerned.

“Our food supplies are starting to run low.” Hongbin ran a hand through his hair, swiping in up and away from his face. The dark circles under Hongbin’s eyes were so evident without his hair casting shadows over his features that Wonshik felt a pang in his heart. “It did help that our very own Sleeping Dalish Beauty hasn’t been eating, but now Jaehwan is back, which means there will be one more mouth to feed once Taekwoon decides to wake up from his power nap.”

“We’ll be alright, Binnie.” Wonshik gave Hongbin’s knee a gentle pat before focusing on scrubbing his hair dry with the cloth. “We’ve had less food before. _ You _ ’ve had less food before.”

“And it’s not exactly something I’d like to go through again.” Hongbin glared at Wonshik from the corners of his eyes. “I hope you like orange juice, soon oranges will be all we have.”

Wonshik frowned, realization slowly dawning on him. “Bin.”

“Hm?” Hongbin hummed but didn’t turn around to face him.

“Look at me.”

Hongbin let out an annoyed little puff of air and turned his face towards Wonshik. “What?”

“You’re still blaming yourself.”

Hongbin’s facial features twitched, only confirming Wonshik’s point. He sighed, tired, leaving the cloth hanging over his head as he took Hongbin’s hands between his.

“Did you sleep at all earlier?”

“I did. I  _ did _ .” Hongbin insisted when Wonshik looked at him with doubt. “Not as much as you, but then again, hardly anyone sleeps as much as you do, so—”

“I get it, you’re annoyed and frustrated, but don’t take it out on me.” Wonshik said, serious, and Hongbin snapped his mouth shut and glowered. A wolfnado, indeed. “I’m worried about you, Bin. You’re not sleeping, you’re barely eating, you’re working yourself to an early grave, and all because of a guilt you’re putting upon yourself.”

Hongbin scoffed. “You don’t know anything.”

“I know enough.” Wonshik retorted. “I get it, ok? I do. I know it’s terrible to feel responsible for bad things that happen, but you’re taking this too hard. Hakyeon is fine. Taekwoon is fine. You behaving like this is not helping anyone, and if anything it’ll only make Hakyeon worry even more, is that what you want?”

“Don’t talk to me like that.” Hongbin warned, tone low, dangerous. “Don’t presume to know how I feel, and don’t presume to tell me how I should deal with it. It’s  _ my _ pain, Wonshik.  _ Mine _ . My guilt, my fucking burden to carry for as long as I feel necessary, and you don’t get to choose when I should get over it.”

“Hongbin—”

“ _ No _ .” He cut him off sharply, the word like the edges of his daggers. “I agree that I have not been behaving in a very healthy way, and on that I will give you the point. But I won’t let go of anything. I  _ never _ let go of anything, it’s how I’ve dealt with everything in my life and you know what, it works for me.” Hongbin paused, breathing hard. Wonshik just stared at him, struck silent. “It teaches me to do better, I learn from it. So back off, alright? I’m fine.”

Wonshik took a deep breath, trying to steady his nerves. He didn’t want to enter a shouting match with Hongbin. “Hongbin— I’m not trying to dictate how you should deal with your problems. I’m just worried about you and I don’t know what to do.”

Hongbin seemed to deflate from his defensive posture as he exhaled, expression dropping with the realization of how he’d spoken to Wonshik. “Shit, I— I know. I’m sorry, I— I overreacted.”

“It’s alright, you’re tired and lashing out.” Wonshik said, pulling Hongbin against himself with one arm. “I just want you to rest. Relax for five minutes. I think you’ve been clenching your entire body so tight these past few days that you’re probably turning to stone.”

Hongbin chuckled at that. “It’s not  _ that _ bad…”

“Sometimes I think I can hear your bones cracking under the sheer force of your muscles clenching.”

“You’re an idiot.” Hongbin shot Wonshik a bashful smile. “I’ll try to rest later.”

“Rest now. Come here.” He pulled Hongbin closer, coaxing him to lie down and rest his head on his lap. Hongbin gave him a suspicious look but easily obliged, a happy sigh escaping his lips once he got comfortable. “Whatever you have to do, we have time. Sleep.”

“My, you’re such a softie.” Hongbin teased and Wonshik pulled on his earlobe gently in retaliation, making him giggle.

They were silent for a long stretch of time, Wonshik absently running his fingers through Hongbin’s soft locks of hair, his calloused hands feeling too rough, too inadequate to be touching something so beautiful. He remembered back when they kids, during the hot nevarran summer lazing on the shores of the Minanter river under a tree, and they would stay just like that, like they were in that moment, for hours. Not needing to say a word. Just there, together, basking in the other’s presence. Hongbin’s hair had been soft just like that back then, and Wonshik’s hands smoother. Lounging there, in the shade of a tree by the Minanter, Wonshik tricked himself into believing that they could stay like that forever. That summer would never end.

Summer ended. Winter had arrived.

It still made his head spin anytime he thought of how much things had changed, and how much they hadn’t; there he was, a full grown man, still head over heels for Hongbin just like he’d been when he was a child. His mother never taught him about loving only one person for the rest of his life - his family was loving and supportive, yes, but they never particularly thought of romance as a priority. Wonshik had no idea who he’d learned it from, from which side of the family came that hopelessly romantic streak in him.

Maybe it was just Hongbin, all Hongbin - Hongbin made him like that, like a sculptor molds a block of clay, Hongbin the artist and Wonshik’s heart a blank canvas. He wondered if he would ever come to feel like that towards Jimin were their time not interrupted in such a cruel manner. Would she have shaped him the same way Hongbin had? Would she have been able to chip away at the sharp edges Hongbin had left behind in his heart, smooth them over, sculpt something new over it? Or would she never even get close, the piece of a puzzle with the wrong shape trying to fit into his life?

It wouldn’t make any difference now to wonder about it; it was too late to find out.

Hongbin’s breathing pattern and weight changed the more and more he relaxed, going almost boneless under Wonshik’s caresses. It made him feel accomplished, only the fact that Hongbin had laid down at all already a victory. He liked taking care of Hongbin. Loved it, even.

He was surprised when Hongbin moved, turning slightly sideways so he could look up at Wonshik. “I’m sorry for snapping.”

Wonshik smiled down at him, rubbing gentle lines over Hongbin’s cheek with his thumb. “You can’t be perfectly composed all the time. It’s ok.”

“Mm, I know.” Hongbin sighed, eyes fluttering closed for a moment as if he was enjoying the touches. “I’m more sorry that it was you who had to deal with it, you didn’t deserve it.”

“Don’t worry about it. I understand and I won’t hold it against you.”

Hongbin’s lips curled up into the sweetest smile, Wonshik feeling the sight of it reverberate through his entire being, and in a simple but graceful motion he grabbed Wonshik’s hand, the one that had been near his cheek, and guided it in a way that made it possible for Hongbin to place a kiss on the middle of Wonshik’s palm. “You’re too sweet for your own good, you know.” His warm breath hit Wonshik’s skin as he spoke, goosebumps rising all over his body. “Thanks for not putting up with my bullshit.”

“Go to sleep, Binnie. You clearly need it.”

Hongbin chuckled and nodded, turning around again to get comfortable and do as Wonshik suggested. Wonshik stayed there until he fell asleep, and much longer still.

 

✶✶✶

 

Hakyeon watched over Taekwoon and Jaehwan like a hawk, waiting for one or both of them to stir. Each minute that ticked by was agony, his impatience having him want to claw at his own face. It had been about thirty minutes or so, not close enough to one hour for him to start getting ready to waken Jaehwan, but he was so anxious to hear news about Taekwoon he was very close to shaking Jaehwan awake just to know what was going on.

Closing his eyes and inhaling a deep breath to steady himself, giving a second for his nerves to settle, Hakyeon looked down at Taekwoon again, the features he was coming to know so well so much he watched him. He brushed a fingertip over the adorable mole Taekwoon had under his right eye and smiled to himself. He missed seeing his eyes, though. Hearing his voice.

He’d grown too accustomed to Taekwoon’s presence, to his company, their conversations. He hadn’t wished to take any rash decisions, didn’t want to move too fast, and now— He wondered why he’d hesitated at all. It was obvious, wasn’t it? That he had very strong feelings for Taekwoon, and that Taekwoon, too, had strong feelings towards him. He’d said so. Would things have been any different if he’d gotten over himself and his doubts sooner? Would that have kept him from getting hurt, and consequently Taekwoon from getting hurt to save him? Thinking back now, Hakyeon firmly believed so.

He’d been distracted during the attack, besides sleepy and disoriented. His head was in the wrong place, too far away from the battlefield, interest and focus left behind inside his dream. It wasn’t Taekwoon’s fault, of course not - Taekwoon couldn’t have known that the exact moment he chose to reveal his secrets was also the moment those cultists would attack. He didn’t blame Taekwoon for it, not even for a split second.

Of course the truth would hit him the moment he was faced with the possibility of losing Taekwoon, the moment he didn’t have Taekwoon next to him to keep him in his comfort zone. He should have seen that coming, should have had some preemptive thought, but he didn’t; he wasn’t ready.

If only Taekwoon would wake up so they could talk about it, clarify the things between them. Not immediately after he woke up, sure, since Hakyeon wanted to give him a chance to recover first before defining anything. He didn’t want to scare him, come off too strong. Taekwoon was still shy and fragile, not well versed in social situations, probably not very experienced with relationships either. Hakyeon was more than glad to take the lead, and also happy to allow Taekwoon to set the pace of it; it wouldn’t be easy, as Hakyeon was a territorial creature and wanted to make sure to stake his claim on Taekwoon’s affections, but he would be strong and patient, for Taekwoon’s sake. Anything for Taekwoon.

Jaehwan moving next to him startled Hakyeon from his musings, and he promptly turned to help him sit up. Jaehwan groaned, wincing and placing a hand on the side of his head as if he had a headache. “Ugh, I feel like I have rocks inside my skull.”

“Here.” Hakyeon took the waterskin he had nearby and offered it to Jaehwan, who smiled at him in gratitude and took a few swigs of water. “Did you talk to him?”

Jaehwan shot him an amused glance from the corners of his eyes, and Hakyeon had at least the decency to blush at his own eagerness. “I did. He’s alright, said he’ll be up in a couple hours.”

“A couple hours? Why a couple hours?”

Jaehwan chuckled through his nose, giving Hakyeon his waterskin back. “It’s cute how impatient you are. You always seemed like the calm type to me.”

Hakyeon’s blush intensified. “Y-yeah, well, I’m very worried about him.”

“He’s alright, he just needs a while to figure out what to say.” Jaehwan wiped away the now dry blood from his forehead using the sleeve of his shirt. It flaked off, but not completely. “You should try talking to him. He can hear you now.”

“H-hear me?” Hakyeon jolted, looking down at Taekwoon. “He can hear everything I say?”

“Yep, he can.” Jaehwan confirmed as he retrieved his white runic stones and placed them back inside the pouch. “I’ll let you do your thing now, I need to eat something. This ritual is really tiring.”

“Alright. Thanks, Jaehwan.” Hakyeon smiled at Jaehwan, soft but genuine. Disappointed as he was that Taekwoon hadn’t woken up yet, knowing he was at least alright was already very soothing to his nerves. “Did you tell him he needs to eat?”

“I did. He didn’t know it’s been four days.” Jaehwan huffed and shook his head. “He’ll wake up, don’t worry.”

Hakyeon just nodded this time, looking down at Taekwoon again. Jaehwan quietly finished gathering his things and left without saying anything, leaving Hakyeon alone to— ‘do his thing’, whatever that meant.

Hakyeon shifted next to Taekwoon, turning around in a way that would make it easier for him to look at Taekwoon without straining his neck too much. He had a lot to say to him, figured he would be there talking for a while - and yet his mind had gone completely blank the moment he settled down, opening and closing his mouth without knowing where or how to start. He didn’t want to say the wrong thing, something that would disencourage Taekwoon from waking up.

“Taekwoonie?” Hakyeon called, and then felt stupid. That Taekwoon could hear him did not mean he would acknowledge him. He cleared his throat and tried again. “Taekwoonie— I don’t want to pressure you to wake up, but— You really need to eat something, so… If you wake up only to eat, that’s fine. I won’t make you talk about anything you’re not comfortable with, ok? You can even take up your vow of silence and never speak to me ever again, just—  _ Please _ , just eat something.”

Of course, there was no response from Taekwoon. Hakyeon chewed on his lips for a moment, weighing his choices, and then decided to toss being careful out the window. He shifted again next to Taekwoon, this time lying on the floor next to him and lacing his waist with one arm, chin resting on his shoulder. He could feel the rise and fall of Taekwoon’s chest as he breathed, strong and steady. It was a comfort.

“You know I’m not angry with you, right? Or, well, I don’t think you know that, otherwise you’d be up already.” Hakyeon sighed to himself, taking a second to gather his thoughts. “But I’m really not mad at you. And I’m not afraid, or upset, or whatever it is you think I am. I’m— I’m confused and I’m curious and I’m worried about you, and that’s it. You don’t have to be scared, ok?” Hakyeon tightened his hold on Taekwoon as he spoke, not truly realizing it. “And I miss you. I’m not just saying that, I really,  _ really _ miss you, Taekwoonie.” He felt his face heating up after uttering those words, but didn’t take any of them back; he’d meant them. “Wake up soon, alright? I won’t try to push you into talking to me about anything, I promise I won’t. All I want is to make sure you’re alright. I won’t even stay near you if you don’t want me to, if you tell me to leave I will, just— Please,  _ please _ , wake up.”

He stared at him expectantly, as if his words would be enough to convince Taekwoon to open his eyes right then and there, but Taekwoon continued to sleep peacefully, eyelids fluttering in his slumber. Hakyeon just closed his eyes tight and hid his face against Taekwoon’s chest, hoping he could feel how much he cared for him through that alone.

 

✶✶✶

 

Sanghyuk paused for a moment in the midst of scrubbing one particularly dirty shirt. It had mud and blood all over it, likely the one he had been wearing during the latest battle. He wasn’t sure. He chanced a glance towards the tent where Taekwoon had been sleeping in - and now where Hakyeon was too - in search of any sign of Jaehwan. He’d asked to come along to watch the ritual, curious and fiercely protective of Jaehwan after so long without being around him, but Jaehwan convinced him not to go.  _ It’ll be boring, I’ll just be asleep _ , he’d said. Sanghyuk still wanted to be there, boring or not, but he also didn’t want to impose his presence on Jaehwan. Didn’t want to smother him.

And yet, he also did want to smother him. In a good way. With kisses.

He shook his head and took a deep breath, going back to scrubbing away the grime from his shirt. There was no point in dwelling on such thoughts; Jaehwan was his advisor and very obviously had no romantic interest in him, judging from how reluctant he was to stand too close to Sanghyuk for extended periods of time. Sanghyuk made Jaehwan uncomfortable - that was fact. Was it the scales? Had he known his scales would push away the one person he wanted to be close to him—

“Hard at work, I see.” Sanghyuk jolted at the voice, finding Jaehwan standing about a step behind him. His eyes immediately went to the smudge of blood on Jaehwan’s forehead, something his advisor immediately took notice of. “A-ah, this— Not mine.”

“Ritual?” Sanghyuk concluded, watching as Jaehwan came closer to him to wash the blood from his face and hands in the stream.

“Ritual.” Jaehwan confirmed, scrubbing the dried blood off his forehead with his fingertips. “It all worked out, by the way, I spoke to Daeguni. He should wake up soon.”

Sanghyuk arched an eyebrow. “He’s not up yet?”

“No, not yet. But soon.” Jaehwan repeated with a brief huff of air. “Daeguni is at a bit of a crossroads. He has a lot to lose.”

“Hm.” Sanghyuk hummed. He didn’t want to hear Jaehwan talking about Taekwoon, didn’t want to know just how close they were. Deep down, he knew the jealousy he felt was unfounded, that he had no right to be jealous of whoever Jaehwan decided to give his affections to, but— It stung. It stung feeling like Jaehwan would pick Taekwoon over him if given the chance.

“Since when do you do laundry?” Jaehwan asked. Sanghyuk gave him a half-hearted shrug. 

“Hakyeon taught me. He said it’s good for me to learn basic skills.” He replied. “He tried teaching me how to cook, but Hongbin freaked out about us wasting supplies, so that’s on hold for now.”

“Huh. Hakyeon sure is a good influence on you.” Jaehwan was smiling to himself when Sanghyuk peeked his way for a quick second. “If you listened to me half as well as you listen to Hakyeon, that would make my job of advising you so much easier.”

Sanghyuk rolled his eyes, even if there was a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. “I’m not  _ that _ unruly.”

“You’re a strong minded person. It’s not a bad thing to be.” Jaehwan used the sleeves of his robes to dry his face. Sanghyuk continued to scrub his shirt. “It’s very good, in fact, considering you’re the future king of Nevarra. Being assertive and firm, loyal to your beliefs, those are all important traits.”

“No offense, Jyani,” Sanghyuk said with a sigh, leaning back a bit so he could look towards Jaehwan, “but I really don’t want to think about being king right now.”

Jaehwan smiled gingerly at him. Sanghyuk quickly looked away, mouth dry and a feeling of emptiness in his chest. “Fair enough.”

Sanghyuk tried focusing again on washing his shirt, even if he was starting to think it was a lost cause, when Jaehwan gasped next to him, causing him jump where he sat and almost drop the piece of clothing into the stream.

“Hyogi!” Jaehwan said, and from his tone Sanghyuk was about to get a scolding. “What are those circles under your eyes!?”

Sanghyuk frowned. “Uh… You hadn’t noticed them…?”

“I hadn’t seen you under the sun yet.” Jaehwan’s nostrils flared. “Have you been sleeping properly?”

“Uhm… Sort of…?” Sanghyuk replied slowly, careful, dragging the words. Jaehwan’s eyes narrowed. “I’ve been having some trouble sleeping, that’s all.”

“You have— Andraste’s ashy uterus, I really can’t be gone for two minutes.” Jaehwan clucked his tongue, moving into Sanghyuk’s personal space before he could think to react or avoid it. “Here, look at me.”

Sanghyuk was too taken aback to fight the order and promptly did as Jaehwan suggested - or, well,  _ ordered _ \- and turned to him, leaving his shirt aside. He’d have to wash it again. He didn’t care much.

“Alright, eyes up.” Sanghyuk did as told and looked up at the sky. He could feel Jaehwan’s fingertips brushing the skin under his jaw, could feel the heat from his hands, his warm breath. The smell of him - embrium and blood. He clenched his hands into fists. “How long have you been having this insomnia?”

“A few weeks, I think.” Sanghyuk answered, glad that his voice didn’t shake like he feared it would.

“And you just can’t fall asleep or have you been having nightmares?” Jaehwan’s fingers were under his chin now, tipping his head up gently. Sanghyuk wondered if that was what dying felt like.

“Uhm, the first one, I think.” He said. “Anytime I lay down to try to sleep it feels like my head won’t shut up.”

Jaehwan hummed thoughtfully, leaning back into his own space and out of Sanghyuk’s. He missed his proximity already. “Stress, then. Anxiety. I can’t blame you, you’ve been through a lot— Is there something in particular that bothers you? A topic that gets stuck to your head most of the time?”

Sanghyuk pursed his lips and looked down, cheeks becoming significantly warmer. Jaehwan blinked, at a loss; that was not the most ideal situation for him to be in, Sanghyuk dimly thought.

“It’s— I—” He stammered as Jaehwan simply waited, patient. That only made it worse, somehow. “Lately it’s been— You know. You.”

Jaehwan made a face of confusion that would have been comical at any other moment. “Me?”

“Yes.” Sanghyuk awkwardly cleared his throat. “I’ve been— Worried.”

Jaehwan’s expression changed, softened, eyes wide in a way that made him look like almost childlike in his innocence, bright as if there were a million stars in them. Maker, he was so gorgeous. Sanghyuk loved him so much— He had to stop, but how could he do such a thing, stop loving someone like Jaehwan? It was impossible. Unfathomable. Jaehwan was the type of person one couldn’t help but love, cherish. 

“You couldn’t sleep… Because you were worried about me.” Jaehwan concluded. Sanghyuk nodded, only once, to confirm. “Sanghyuk, you— I told you that you didn’t have to concern yourself with my safety, you should be more focused on looking out for yourself.”

Sanghyuk scoffed. “I wasn’t traipsing into danger all by myself like an idiot.”

Jaehwan squinted at him. “Uncalled for.” Sighing, Jaehwan leaned in again to take a closer look to the dark circles under Sanghyuk’s eyes. “I really can’t be gone for five seconds, can I. Look at this, it’s like someone smeared tar on your eyelids.”

“It’s not  _ that _ bad.” Sanghyuk said, not able to look away from Jaehwan’s features, so close he was. He could count the dark blue specs in his eyes if he wanted. He wanted. He shouldn’t. “Hongbin helps sometimes.”

That gave Jaehwan pause, a hitch appearing between his brows. “Hongbin? How does he help you?”

“He knows how to make this tea, it works like a charm.”

Jaehwan watched him with a serious, unreadable expression on his face for a heartbeat longer. “Hyogi… Didn’t I tell you not to trust Hongbin?”

“You did, but he’s— He’s not that bad.” Sanghyuk glanced towards where Hongbin was sleeping soundly on Wonshik’s lap. “He’s difficult, but he’s actually a good person if you give him a chance.”

“You spent more time around him than I did, so I’ll have to take your word for it.” Jaehwan sounded tired when he spoke. “At least now I’m here to keep an eye on you.” He looked back up sharply, straight into Sanghyuk’s eyes. Sanghyuk’s heart wasn’t ready to take the impact of those blue-grey eyes. “That also means you can go back to sleeping soundly, like you always did. I’m here and I’m safe. Give your mind a rest.”

“I will.” Sanghyuk easily agreed - he was already sleeping better, in fact, as he demonstrated by sleeping like a rock during the entire morning.

“And no more taking tea from Hongbin or anyone else, unless you watched them prepare it for you.” Jaehwan said. “If you need any tonics of potions, you come to me.”

“Alright.”

“I’m not trying to be annoying.” Jaehwan sighed, and now he also looked as tired as he sounded. “You just have a lot of enemies who wouldn’t hesitate to take you down, through any means necessary.”

“I know, Jyani. I’m sorry, I’ll be more careful from now on.” Sanghyuk smiled at Jaehwan, hoping it was encouraging enough. “And you’re right, I can stop worrying so much now that you’re back. I think I’ll sleep better now.”

Jaehwan scoffed. “If you don’t, I’m right here to force you.”

Sanghyuk snort-chuckled at that. “Sounds kinky.”

Jaehwan glared at him, but Sanghyuk focused on the faint blush spreading over his cheeks. “You’re a little shit.”

Sanghyuk could only smiled at his advisor, cheeky, mischievous.

“I know.”

 

✶✶✶

 

The first thing Taekwoon registered as he returned to consciousness was Hakyeon humming what sounded like a lullaby, very softly, just under his breath. His body felt heavy and light at the same time, a strange feeling to have, and his head felt like it was full of soap bubbles. Moving only his eyes as to not catch Hakyeon’s attention right away, he found him sitting just a few meters away, absorbed in his task - mending a ripped shirt, from the looks of it. Taekwoon held in a breath of awe; he’d almost forgotten Hakyeon’s beauty, how effortlessly graceful was his every move, how bright were his eyes, always so full of life. 

All that time and Taekwoon still didn’t feel ready to face him. To lose him. Should he pretend to be asleep? Buy himself a few more minutes to gather himself before the hammer dropped?

The option was taken away from him when Hakyeon, turning his head minutely to, presumably, look for an item he’d left on the floor, noticed his eyes were open. They both froze, the moment stretching, hanging above them - Taekwoon felt it like a guillotine, ready to be let loose upon him.

Hakyeon must have seen the fear in his eyes - he must have, how could he not when Taekwoon was incapable of hiding - for he quickly tossed everything he was holding aside and scrambled to approach him, crawling on his fours such was his haste. Taekwoon flinched, almost expecting Hakyeon to strike him - but why would he, Hakyeon would never do that - but Hakyeon only stopped next to him, hands hovering awkwardly level with his chest, as if Hakyeon wanted to touch him but was containing himself not to. Taekwoon didn’t know if he was disappointed or glad of it.

“You— You’re awake.” Hakyeon stammered, eyes bright, liquid. Was he crying? Had he been crying? From that close Taekwoon could see the dark circles under his lower lids, the red rims of his eyes. “I— I— Here.” He searched for something on the ground close to them, which turned out to be a waterskin. “Here, drink some water.”

Hakyeon held the waterskin to his lips, and Taekwoon reluctantly raised himself on his elbows so he could drink some of it. He expected to be more thirsty than he was - Jaehwan mentioned Hakyeon had been trying to feed him water, so he figured he had Hakyeon to thank for that.

Hakyeon— He didn’t deserve his kindness.

Once he felt like he’d had enough, he pulled his head slightly away from the waterskin, signaling to Hakyeon he was done, and Hakyeon closed it and put it aside without asking any questions. Not about him needing more water, that is.

“How are you feeling? Light headed?” Hakyeon asked, raising a hand towards Taekwoon’s head. He flinched, and Hakyeon retracted his touch. “I— I’m sorry, I was just— But you probably don’t have a fever, Jaehwan would have said something— I— I should get you something to eat, it’s been— It’s been a few days.” Hakyeon babbled, nodding to himself in a way that was close to manic. “I’ll be right back, stay— Stay there, don’t fall back asleep, ok?”

Hakyeon shot up to his feet and rushed out of the tent, and Taekwoon was left alone again. Again. He bit his lips and tried to push the thought away.

Carefully, he raised himself to a sitting position, head spinning with the change in angle after days lying down. He could hear Hakyeon’s voice outside speaking to the others, what sounded like pots clanking together.

“ _ He’s awake?” _ Jaehwan’s voice asked. “ _ About time, I didn’t want to get back in there to drag him out _ .”

“ _ Yes, he’s up. _ ” Hakyeon confirmed. More pots clattered. “ _ He hasn’t said anything yet, should I be worried? _ ”

“ _ Why would you be worried? He’s a quiet person and he’s probably a little disoriented. Want me to check up on him? _ ”

_ “I— Later, maybe? I— I’m sorry, I just— I wanted to talk to him on my own first _ .”

Taekwoon froze, eyes going wide. Just him and Hakyeon. Talking. This was it, he couldn’t run away anymore, he would have to tell Hakyeon the truth and deal with the consequences. He was going to lose him, he was going to lose Hakyeon in just a few moments when Hakyeon was never even his to lose, and he would never have a chance to know what it felt like being wanted, being accepted for who—  _ What _ he was. He gripped the blankets in a failed attempt to stop his hands from shaking.

That’s how Hakyeon found him once he returned with a bowl of what smelled like soup, a piece of bread poking out at one side. Hakyeon seemed alarmed at the sight of him, for his expression immediately shifted and he hurried inside, settling down on the floor next to Taekwoon and leaving the bowl aside in favor of, again, hovering his hands over Taekwoon’s arm as if he wasn’t sure if he could - should - touch him.

“Hey, it’s ok, you don’t have to be scared, it’s fine.” Hakyeon said, the fear and hope in his eyes breaking Taekwoon’s heart further. It was his fault, it was his fault, Hakyeon was hurting and it was his fault— “I’m not angry and I’m not scared, I— Fuck, I’m making this worst, aren’t I?” Hakyeon forced out a small, bitter laugh. “I’m sorry. You just woke up and I’m already—”

“You have nothing to be sorry for.” Taekwoon said, voice rough, weak, scratching at his throat. Hakyeon snapped his mouth shut audibly. “You did nothing wrong. I… I’m the one who should apologize. For everything.”

“What are you talking about? You didn’t—”

“I did.” Taekwoon interrupted, lowering his head. He couldn’t face him, the shame was too strong. “I did. I’m sorry.”

Hakyeon was quiet for a few heartbeats. Taekwoon expected him to get up and leave, but he didn’t. “I don’t think you have anything to apologize for,” Hakyeon began, careful, more in control, “but if you feel like you need to hear it, I forgive you.”

Taekwoon pursed his lips and bit his tongue. That wasn’t it. It wasn’t the forgiveness he needed. It was, however, the only forgiveness he would get, so he accepted it with a nod. Hakyeon sighed with relief.

“Ok, that’s— That’s a start.” He said, trying for a smile again and failing. “Here, eat up.” He took the bowl and offered it to Taekwoon. He didn’t want to eat - his stomach was in knots and he felt like nothing he ate would stay down - but for Hakyeon’s peace of mind, he took the bowl in his hands. 

“Thank you.” Taekwoon mumbled. He hoped Hakyeon would leave, at least for a moment, at least so he could reel in his stronger emotions, but Hakyeon just sat there, watching him expectantly. Taekwoon shifted, uncomfortable, but did as Hakyeon was hoping he would and ate a spoonful of the soup. Hakyeon let out a long sigh, like he’d been holding his breath.

“It’s probably not the greatest soup you’ll ever eat. Wonshik is not the best cook.” Hakyeon said, an obvious attempt at making the mood lighter. “It’s still food, and it won’t be too harsh on your stomach. You should probably not eat meat for the next couple of days, by the way.”

Taekwoon nodded, numb, lost, feeling like he shouldn’t be there, feeling like he should have stayed asleep and let his body waste away. It would have been better. Better for him, and especially better for Hakyeon.

“Taekwoonie?” Hakyeon called him in a small voice. The nickname clogged up Taekwoon’s throat. “I— Can we talk?”

He wanted to say no, but knew he couldn’t, so he nodded his consent.

He expected many things, many ways Hakyeon could choose to begin that conversation - accuse him of being an abomination, call him out for lying, for hiding who and what he truly was— 

“You saved my life.”

Taekwoon stared at Hakyeon like a lost child. He was not expecting that.

“You— You saved my life and risked your own.” Hakyeon continued, unaware of how affected Taekwoon was. “Why would you do something like that? You could have died—”

“I know.” Taekwoon interrupted; he didn’t want to hear any more of it. “I know that. I know, and I would do it again.”

“Taekwoon—”

“I would do it as many times I had to.”

“Andraste’s mercy, you’re such a fool.” Hakyeon exhaled slowly, shoulders slumping. “I’m not worth your life.”

“You’re worth much more than my life.”

“I’m not—”

“You  _ are _ .” Taekwoon insisted, looking at Hakyeon in the eyes no matter how he wished to look away. “You are beloved by so many people. You have friends, a family to return to, you have dreams. You have everything to lose. Me— I have nothing.”

“Don’t say that.” Hakyeon snapped. Taekwoon flinched. “Never say that,  _ ever _ .”

“It’s the truth.” Taekwoon muttered, head low. 

“It’s not.”

“It  _ is _ —”

“What about me?” Hakyeon asked, strangled and desperate, and that hurt more than any wound Taekwoon might have taken from him. “What about me, have you thought about how I would feel if you had— If you had—”

“I’m sorry.” Was all he could say. He could hear Hakyeon sniffling next to him, but couldn’t bring himself to look his way, couldn’t bear to see him cry. It was enough that he’d hurt him so far, now he was sitting there, making him cry.

“You can’t just— Just—” Hakyeon stammered, wiping at his eye with the side of his thumb, “Just assume nobody will care if you’re gone, it’s not  _ fair _ !”

“I’m sorry.”

“Fuck.  _ Fuck,  _ if I knew you’ve been hurting so much, if only I had—”

“Please, don’t blame yourself.” Taekwoon said, leaving the bowl of soup aside so he could reach out and cover one of Hakyeon’s hands with his own. “This is on me.”

“No.” Hakyeon jerkedly shook his head, grasping Taekwoon’s hand with both of his own. “Stop blaming yourself for everything.”

“I should have kept my distance.”

“No.”

“I shouldn’t have— Have wormed my way into your affections, it was never going to end well for neither of us.”

“You can’t know that.”

“I can. I do.”

“Will you tell me?” Hakyeon asked, hope again sparkling in his eyes. He was more in control now, no new tears leaving his eyes, only the rapidly drying tracks of the previous ones. “Will you tell me everything?”

Taekwoon hesitated for a second, but nodded. “Yes. You have the right to know, even if—” He clamped his mouth shut.

Hakyeon stared at him expectantly. “Even if what?”

Taekwoon didn’t want to say it, not out loud. Didn’t want to speak those words into existence, but he promised Hakyeon honesty, and he would give him honesty. “Even if that means that you’ll leave me.”

“Taekwoonie— We’ve been through this.”

“Inside of what you believed was just a dream.” Taekwoon glanced at him, but couldn’t hold eye contact for long before dropping his gaze to his lap again. “I shouldn’t have invaded your dreams without consent, and that was only one of my many mistakes.”

“So none of those dreams were really dreams?” Hakyeon asked, trying to catch his eyes. Taekwoon resisted the temptation to look his way. “We— Everything we did, everything we said—”

“It was all real. Or— Well, they  _ were _ dreams, but both of us were entirely conscious the whole time.”

“That’s—”  _ An abomination, a monstrosity, a freak of nature, wrong—  _ “That’s amazing.”

Taekwoon snapped his head around to stare at Hakyeon as if he’d just sprouted a second head. “You— What?”

“Are you a mage? You’re not a mage, right? I would have known.” Hakyeon asked as he squeezed his hand. “I don’t know how you do it without being a mage. The demons, the dreams, the— The way you saved me.”

Taekwoon’s face was flooded with heat and he ducked his head. “I— Yes.”

“It was temporary possession.”

Taekwoon frowned slightly, watching Hakyeon through the strands of his own messy hair for a moment before nodding. “Yes.” Tilting his head to the side, he asked. “You are not bothered by it?”

“Should I be?”

“It’s the normal reaction.”

“Maybe I’m not normal.” Hakyeon shot him a sweet smile, Taekwoon’s heart flailing madly inside his chest. “If I may ask… What was the spirit that came to you? The spirit that helped save me?”

Taekwoon’s face became even hotter and he felt forced to look away. He couldn’t say it, not with Hakyeon looking at him like that, with those gorgeous eyes of his. “It was— It was Devotion.”

He heard Hakyeon inhale sharply and then exhale slowly, and risked a look over at him to find a dumbfounded expression on his face. Taekwoon would have laughed at how cute it was were he not so nervous.

“Devotion.” Hakyeon echoed. “A spirit of Devotion— You attracted a spirit of Devotion.”

“Yes.”

“For me.”

“Yes.”

“Oh.” Hakyeon said dumbly, eyelids fluttering. “That’s— I thought—” he cleared his throat, and Taekwoon noticed how his cheeks had darkened as well. “I thought it had been a spirit of— Of Love.”

“Devotion is a form of Love, Hakyeon.” Taekwoon reminded him, even if he was mortified to say those words out loud. 

“... _ Fuck _ .” Hakyeon cursed, and Taekwoon couldn’t help a chuckle at the timing of his swearing. “Ok. Devotion. Yes, ok, that’s— That’s not the single most romantic thing I’ve ever heard in my life, I’m ok.” Hakyeon cleared his throat and shook his head, likely to get back to the present. “Alright. Will you tell me everything now?”

Taekwoon took a deep breath and, glancing one last time at Hakyeon in search of any signs of hostility or rejection - none of which he found - he nodded. “Yes. I will tell you everything.”

 

✶

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is not a cliffhanger, i'm just setting the stage for taek's big coming out party, ok
> 
> thank you so much for all the kudos and messages!! i'm too lazy to get the links right now, it's 1am and i'm sleepy af, but you know where to find me by now, right??
> 
> i hope you enjoyed this chapter!♡


	16. Fadewalker

✶

 

When Taekwoon was barely a few seconds old, he died.

It’s what they had told him years later - he died. He was dead for a few minutes before the clan’s Keeper at the time, a talented healer named Sunhee, revived him. Taekwoon, a newborn, somehow, survived; his mother, on the other hand, didn’t.

The first one to leave, and it was his fault.

His three sisters took it upon themselves to raise him, no matter how they were children themselves - his elder sister, Sojin, was barely ten years old when he came into the world. When he died and was reborn.

The Keeper helped, feeling responsible for his upbringing not only for being the guardian of the clan, but because she was the one who had saved his life. Keeper Sunhee was kind, the only mother figure he’d ever known, but his sisters were the ones who truly raised him. Sojin was young, but already a force to be reckoned with - a talented mage, the magic having awakened in her when she was eight. The Keeper did not choose her to be her First or Second only because she thought she was far too young for the training, but still she taught her how to control her gift as well as she did her apprentices. She did so, also, when Taekwoon’s second sister, Yoojin, came to her magic, and did the same when Taekwoon’s third sister, Woori, turned out to be a mage as well.

Three mages.

According to Sojin, Taekwoon would have been the fourth.

But he wasn’t a mage, could never be one; it didn’t stop the dreams from coming. Didn’t stop him from chasing them.

The first time it happened, Taekwoon was only three years of age. He opened his eyes to a world that looked and felt wrong, different, shadows dancing on the edges of his vision and bright colors beckoning him closer. He heeded the call, went after the colors because that was all he thought of to do.

He only awakened five days later, his sisters crying and the Keeper wearing an expression of concern.

A Somniari, Keeper Sunhee concluded. A Dreamer.

Of course, word spread quickly about Taekwoon’s unusual abilities - in a small clan, that was only natural. They began treating him differently, keeping a certain distance. Ghilas’sethen’lan, they called him. One Who Can Walk In The Land Of Dreams.

Fadewalker.

He didn’t understand, with his childlike comprehension of the world around him.  _ Did I do something wrong _ , he would ask his sisters, over and over, everyday, and they would always say no, he did nothing wrong. It was hard to believe them, though, when everyone around him seemed to be either afraid or wary of him. For years he didn’t know what was happening, why he was treated like that; he’d always been a quiet, timid child, well behaved, tame. He didn’t cause trouble, didn’t make any ruckuses or bothered anyone.

Only when he turned six, wise beyond his years thanks to everything he learned through dreams, was that Sojin talked to him more at length about it.

“I believe,” she said to him, “that when you died, the magic in you died too. Somehow, though, you still retained the part of you that was meant to be a Dreamer.”

“But how can I be a Dreamer without having any magic, sasae?” Taekwoon asked. His sister smiled gently at him.

“I don’t know, da’vhenan. Maybe you were meant to be a very powerful mage and not even death could kill all that power. Or perhaps the Creators have a path set out for you, and everything will have a meaning someday.”

“I don’t want to be a Dreamer.” He replied, cheeks puffed and a pout on his lips. “Everybody hates me.”

“That’s not true. I don’t hate you. Neither do Yoojin and Woori, or Keeper Sunhee.” Sojin said, brushing his hair back gently with her fingertips. “People are afraid of what they don’t understand. Or do you think they don’t give me, Yoojin and Woori skittish looks at times? People without magic can never understand magic, and most of them will never attempt to learn.” Taekwoon was still not convinced, and Sojin, sensing this, continued. “What you possess is a  _ gift _ , Woonie. It is a rare and wonderful gift to have. You should never let anybody make you think otherwise.”

“It doesn’t feel wonderful.” Taekwoon complained.

“Oh, little heart. It might not feel like that now, but everything has a meaning, a reason to be.” Sojin scooped him up in her arms and held him close over her lap. “All this pain will be useful someday, and the right people will love you for who you are.”

Taekwoon desperately wanted to believe his sister’s words, wanted to believe that someday he would be accepted and loved the way he was, that he would not have to deal with people being afraid of him for something he couldn’t control.

Less than a week later, Sojin left.

She was sent to another clan to be the Keeper’s apprentice, and there she would meet new people, come to love new people. There she would forget all about him, Taekwoon knew. Yoojin tried to fill the void left by their eldest sister the best she could, but Yoojin was never as motherly and nurturing as Sojin. Where Sojin was Spring, Yoojin was Autumn. Opposites. Yoojin didn’t react to things in the same peaceful manner as Sojin - Yoojin was wildfire, ready to consume anything to ash. She entered many fights, verbal and physical, in Taekwoon’s defense. She was fiercely protective of him, but she didn’t know how to soothe his concerns, how to comfort him.

The dreams kept happening, and Taekwoon only wanted them to stop.

One year later and Yoojin, too, left for a different clan.

“We have far too many talented mages within our midst, da’len.” Keeper Sunhee told him. “Their talents will be far more useful somewhere that lacks all the blessings we have in abundance.”

Taekwoon understood, to some extent, but he still felt betrayed, still felt bitter towards the Keeper. The woman who once had been the mother he’d never had, was now the woman responsible from taking his sisters away from him. And yet, he loved her still, those warring emotions tangled in his chest like vines. 

His third sister, Woori, was unlike Sojin and Yoojin. Summer, she was. Warm, friendly, open and sunny. An adventurer at heart, Woori never truly settled into any particular role. She loved Taekwoon dearly, but she also loved her freedom, and that was something Taekwoon had always envied and admired in her. She was beloved by many in the clan, had the ability of making friends with anyone, something Taekwoon never learned how to do - being who he was, he’d learned very early to keep his head down, keep to himself, keep out of trouble. Keep quiet. He made himself Winter - cold, icy. To protect himself, to protect those around him from what he could do.

When Taekwoon was ten, Woori woke him up in the middle of the night. She was fully dressed, wearing her traveling cape with its hood up over her head. Taekwoon stared at her, confused.

“Are we going somewhere, sasae?”

He never forgot the broken look his sister gave him, the wretched expression on her face. “Oh, Woonie— No. You have to stay here.” She pulled him to a hug. “I overheard a conversation earlier, they said they want me to marry some other clan’s Keeper, they want to send me off too, but I won’t let them choose my fate for me.”

“Sasae?” Taekwoon’s mind immediately processed what that meant, but he refused to believe it. “What—”

She shook her head manically, pulling back to stroke his cheek loving with her thumb. “I can’t take you with me, my darling, not right now. I wouldn’t be able to protect or provide for you, but I promise you, I  _ promise _ I will come back to get you the moment I find somewhere safe to settle down, ok?”

“But sasae—”

“You are very strong, you must keep being strong, alright?” She said, voice shaking as she fought back the tears. “You’ll be safe here, Keeper Sunhee will take good care of you.” She hugged him tight, tighter than anyone had ever hugged him before. “You are so loved, Taekwoon,  _ so  _ loved. Never forget it.”

“I want to go with you!” Taekwoon cried, no longer able to contain his pitiful hiccups, his loud sobs. “Please don’t leave me, sasae,  _ please _ , I’ll be good—”

“Shh, it’s alright, everything will be alright.” She said. Taekwoon didn’t believe her. “I love you, Woonie. I love you so much.” She pulled back, tears staining her face, and touched his forehead with the tips of her fingers.

He fell under the spell immediately, sleeping through the rest of the night. When he woke up, Woori was long gone.

Things did not get any better for him after that. The Keeper’s First, Heejun, brother to his late father and consequently his uncle, questioned him harshly for Woori’s sudden disappearance. He was accused of being responsible, that he’d brought forth a demon that took his sister’s mind and made her run. Taekwoon cried and denied, and was only removed from that situation when the Keeper caught wind of what was happening - Heejun had gone behind her back, had questioned him without permission.

The Keeper’s intervention came too late; Taekwoon walked away from Heejun believing he was the one at fault for his sister’s decision to leave. It didn’t help that Woori never fulfilled her promise - she never came back for him.

He was distrusted by the vast majority of the clan now, the reason behind every tragedy, the pariah, the unwanted. Keeper Sunhee did her best, but nobody ever trusted him again.

He was alone. Completely, utterly alone.

Unable to stay awake and face the fact that he was not wanted there, Taekwoon learned to accept his gift, embrace it. He found solace in dreams, in exploring the Fade. He attracted many spirits to him, spirits of Curiosity and Grief, of Wisdom and Longing. He learned from them, even befriended them in a way. They never pushed him away, never wanted him to be gone, were always glad to have company just as much as he did.

One day, one particularly bad day, Taekwoon ran blindly through the Fade until he found himself somewhere he’d never been to before. It was dark, cold, ominous, but he was not afraid; anything was better than being awake. Sleeping forever would be better. Death would be better.

It was at that dark place where he found Fear and Deceit - or, better yet, where Fear and Deceit found him. Demons they were, but Taekwoon wasn’t afraid of demons, hadn’t been for a long time. They spoke to him in whispers, whispers he could, somehow, understand even if those same whispers were in a long forgotten language. His language. The People’s language.

They asked him why he was there, why was he crying. How had he even entered that place, a place that was supposed to be unbreachable. Taekwoon said he didn’t know. He was just running.  _ Running from what _ , they asked.

_ Everything _ .

Fear and Deceit were silent then, circling him. Taekwoon simply waited, let them get a read on him. Hoped they would kill him, or possess his body, or anything else, because anything was better than waking up.

_ Follow us _ , they told him. He did.

They led him deeper into the darkness, pitch black everywhere he could see, until he was standing before a grand rusty looking set of gates. He could see nothing beyond but more blackness.

That was the day Taekwoon was introduced to the one who would become his teacher and his protector. That was the day Taekwoon met a god.

He could not see him. He could never see him. He was a voice, calm and gentle, warm.

_ You remind me of myself _ , Dirthamen said to him when Taekwoon, filled with a courage he didn’t know he had, asked him why he was helping him,  _ I do not wish for you to meet the same fate as I have. _

Everyday, Taekwoon would seek out Keeper Sunhee and ask her to tell him stories of Dirthamen. She was always delighted when he showed interest in their culture, their gods, and would gladly share with him every scrap of knowledge she had. Later he would go to Dirthamen and tell him of what he learned, and he would hear the God of Secrets sigh and lament the loss of their history, the warping of the truth. He would correct him, tell him the tales as they had truly come to pass. He would teach him of their old customs, tell him about Arlathan, tell him secrets he could never have dreamed of.

And like a faithful apprentice to the God of Secrets, Taekwoon never breathed a word about it. Those were his secrets to keep - at least for the time being.

Fear and Deceit became his faithful companions, be it dreaming or awake. It had been a direct order from Dirthamen that the demons kept a watchful eye over Taekwoon, kept him safe. It made him feel less lonely while awake, more confident. He wasn’t alone. He had the God of Secrets watching over him, had Fear and Deceit, demons of legend, as companions.

Of course, for the rest of the clan, his behavior was seen as odd, concerning. He became more isolated. More feared. There were whispers of him being possessed, as he was often seen whispering to ravens, smiling at shadows, sometimes smirking like he knew more than he should - he did.

Keeper Sunhee always kept things from escalating, reminding everyone that Taekwoon was a child and part of the clan, like everyone else. 

Only a few days after Taekwoon turned thirteen, he felt something strange in the air. A ripple. The Fade shifted, the Veil pushed open. A demon. A demon had left the Fade and was walking the waking world, too close to the clan. At that very same time, the clan’s hunters were all out, scouting for game, and amongst them was the man who had taught Taekwoon how to use a bow, one of the very few people in the clan who didn’t treat him like vermin.

So he ran, ran straight to the Keeper, who was in the middle of her daily teachings to her First and Second - Heejun and Chilhyun. He would usually be more polite, announce his presence and wait for permission to speak, but in his urgency he burst his way inside the tent and told the Keeper there was a demon in the forest. Heejun, of course, immediately accused him of being the one responsible for the demon being there in the first place, but the Keeper believed him and rushed to aid the hunters, staff in hand and orders for Heejun to watch over the clan while she was away.

She was too late to save the hunters. Too weak to save herself.

She defeated the demon, but succumbed to the wounds she suffered during the battle. Heejun became the Keeper, and his first act was to exile Taekwoon, the one responsible for Sunhee’s death.

And so Taekwoon found himself without a home, left to his own devices to fend for himself at only thirteen.

Dirthamen was furious when Taekwoon told him, wanted to order Fear and Deceit to tear the clan apart, but Taekwoon asked him not to - he did not want to be responsible for more death, he said. Dirthamen was saddened by those words and gently reminded Taekwoon that he was not responsible for anything.

Taekwoon wished he could believe him.

Dirthamen directed him to travel southeast, to Orlais. Fear and Deceit showed him the way, led him from the Nevarran forests where he as born to that unknown nation, keeping him from harm all the way to Val Chevin. From there, they traveled further south, and with the help of the demons, Taekwoon found what would be his home for the next few years - Dirthamen’s Temple.

Taekwoon uncovered every secret to be found there, received daily lessons from Dirthamen, learned how to hide his body within the shadows, how to fight with daggers. When he was old enough, he pledged himself to Dirthamen’s service; his pearly white vallaslin he received as a brand of honor from the God of Secrets himself, in the Fade, and awoke with the markings etched to his skin. He made a vow of silence, something Dirthamen never asked of him, and made a vow to avoid senseless slaughter and violence, something Dirthamen requested.

_ You are now my High Priest, the Keeper of all my Knowledge _ . 

Taekwoon finally felt like he belonged.

For the next few years, Taekwoon traveled Orlais, searching for lost elven history in the Dales, in the Emerald Graves. A pilgrimage, of sorts. From Orlais, he traveled north to the Anderfels, as it had always been a subject of curiosity for him. He went to Tevinter then, intent on seeing the ancient Arlathan forest with his own eyes, and it was during that time he had his first brush with the Somnavaris. How he found himself in Nevarra City only a couple months later. How he became involved in that mess.

Hakyeon listened to it all with rapt attention, not once interrupting Taekwoon as he told his story, and Taekwoon was glad of it; he didn’t look up at Hakyeon as he spoke, afraid he would lose the little composure he had, and it did help that Hakyeon didn’t distract him from his line of thought.

Once he was finished, however, he heard Hakyeon sniffle. Taekwoon looked up, alarmed, to find Hakyeon crying quietly, one hand covering his mouth to keep his sobs muffled.

“Hakyeon— I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to upset you, I—”

“You’re an idiot.” Hakyeon said, voice cracking. “I’m not crying because of you. I’m crying  _ for _ you.” Hakyeon took a deep breath, likely to contain himself, before he came closer to Taekwoon and pulled him into a tight hug.

Taekwoon froze, unsure how he should react. Should he push Hakyeon away, should he hug him back?

“I’m so sorry for everything you had to go through.” Hakyeon said against his shoulder. Taekwoon closed his eyes tight.

“I should have told you sooner. I should have.” Taekwoon muttered. “I shouldn’t have invaded your dreams the way I have, I shouldn’t— I’m sorry, I know it was wrong, and if… If I make you uncomfortable, if you want me to go, I’ll leave right away and—”

“What!?” Hakyeon pulled back to stare at him, eyes filled with tears and wide as plates. “No! No, no, no, you’re not going anywhere.”

“But—”

“No!” Hakyeon raised his voice a bit, making Taekwoon flinch and lower his head like a scolded puppy. “I don’t want you to go, after everything I told you why would you think for a second that I’d want you gone?!”

Taekwoon didn’t know how to respond, so he just gave Hakyeon a jerky shrug and remained quiet, too scared to lift his head and face him. His mind was still reeling, his fear still too smothering; the truth was out, and Hakyeon held everything in his hands, all the options, and Taekwoon would leave his fate gladly in his care, no matter what.

He heard Hakyeon exhale, felt him reach out to grab his hand and give it a squeeze. “I’m not angry with you. And I’m not scared of you.”

Taekwoon frowned, looking up at Hakyeon. “You’re not?”

“No, I’m not.” Hakyeon smiled sweetly at him. “You’re not a monster and you’re not wrong in any way. Whoever made you feel like you were either of those is the real monster, not you.”

Taekwoon closed his eyes again, this time to fight back the prickling of tears wanting to fall. He didn’t want to cry, but the relief was so immense— 

“Come here.” Hakyeon said and pulled Taekwoon to himself. Taekwoon went limply, hiding his face on the crook of Hakyeon’s neck, burrowing there in search of safety, comfort. “Thank you so much for trusting me enough to tell me all of this.”

“You’re the only one I’ve always wanted to tell and the one I was scared would find out the most.” Taekwoon confessed in a meek whisper. Hakyeon held him tighter.

“Jaehwan knows, though.” Hakyeon pointed out. Taekwoon hoped he didn’t imagine the little bite of jealousy on the edge of his tone.

“Not everything. He knows about me being a Dreamer and about Dirthamen, but the rest— I never told him.” Taekwoon felt exhausted now, like he’d ran an emotional marathon. His words were soft, lazy, slow. Relaxed. “He has a vague idea about some things, but he doesn’t know what you know now.”

“Oh. Thank you.” Hakyeon whispered, his breath tickling the side of his neck. 

“I’m sorry for the dreams.” Taekwoon said, to which Hakyeon chuckled.

“They were good dreams. Very good dreams.”

Taekwoon was glad that Hakyeon couldn’t see his face, because he was absolutely sure he was as red as a ripe strawberry.

“Taekwoonie?” Hakyeon called him gently, and Taekwoon hummed his acknowledgement. “You know you’ll have to tell the others all of this, right?”

Taekwoon went rigid in Hakyeon’s embrace. He had completely forgotten about the others.

“Not everything, of course.” Hakyeon quickly added, noticing Taekwoon’s reaction, and pulled away so they could look in each other’s eyes. “Just about being a Dreamer. And— Well, maybe about Dirthamen, to explain why you have two demons following you around.”

Taekwoon gave him a nervous little smile. Hakyeon cooed at him, eyes still somewhat wet, but no more tears staining his lovely face. “If they ask, I’ll tell them.”

“Good enough. It’s probably cold by now, but eat your soup.” Hakyeon said, motioning with his head towards the forgotten bowl of food. “Eat, give yourself a moment, and then we can go talk to them.”

Taekwoon looked questioningly at Hakyeon. “We?”

“Mhm, we. I told you I’m not leaving you, I meant it.” Hakyeon took Taekwoon’s hands again.

“What if they want me to leave?”

“They won’t.” He interlocked their fingers.

“But if they do?”

Hakyeon shrugged, simple, dismissive. “Then I guess I’m leaving with you.”

 

✶✶✶

 

Jaehwan scowled at the tent where Hakyeon and Taekwoon had been cooped up for the past hour or so. There had been some raised voices - or, well,  _ voice _ since it had only been Hakyeon - but it had been quiet for a long while now. After so long he was certain everything had gone fine, otherwise one of them would have stomped out already. Or there would have been more shouting. Or both.

As it was, Jaehwan took a deep breath and turned his focus to his food, the soup Wonshik had so valiantly prepared with their remaining potatoes and carrots. It was a little tasteless, lacking spices, but it wasn’t bad.

“The soup’s really good, Wonshik.” Jaehwan praised with a smile. Wonshik grinned bashfully to himself.

“A-ah, thank you. It isn’t though, I should have put more salt in it.”

Ah, so he noticed too. Jaehwan decided not to say that out loud. “The soup is good, really. Thanks for preparing it.”

Wonshik’s grin widened. He was pretty cute, now that Jaehwan had the time to stop and observe. “It was no trouble at all.”

Sanghyuk shifted next to him, drawing his attention away from Wonshik. Despite having a wide range of options to choose from, Sanghyuk had taken a spot right at his side, not close enough to touch, but close enough for his every movement to be noticeable - and Sanghyuk was moving  _ a lot _ .

Jaehwan turned to him and gave Sanghyuk a quizzical look, one that Sanghyuk returned in the same way. “Did you need something?”

“No, why?” Sanghyuk asked after swallowing the food he had in his mouth.

“You’re— Fidgeting.”

“Ah, am I?” Sanghyuk blinked slowly, seemingly not at all bothered by the statement. “Sorry.”

Jaehwan decided to just ignore it and return his focus to his food. He’d forgotten how Sanghyuk was a little shit who did things only for the sake of attention - as much as Jaehwan wanted to give that attention to him, he knew that he shouldn’t encourage that behavior. Sanghyuk was to be king, he couldn’t act like a spoiled brat.

“Is your soup good?” Sanghyuk suddenly asked.

Jaehwan narrowed his eyes at him, suspicious. “Yeah, why?”

“Can I try it?”

Jaehwan blinked. Once. Twice. Thrice. “Why?”

“I want to know if it’s better than mine.”

“...It’s the same soup. From the same pot. Literally served one after the other. It tastes the same.”

“How do you know?” Sanghyuk asked that question in a way that reminded Jaehwan too much of the late queen, the little condescending lilt of one who talks to a toddler. Jaehwan wanted to smack him. “Have you tried mine?”

“No, but it’s—”

“Here, try it.” Sanghyuk took a spoonful of soup from his bowl and held it out for Jaehwan, who only stared at him in confusion. Sanghyuk gave the spoon a careful shake as incentive. “Come on, try it.”

Jaehwan inhaled sharply through his nose, lips pursed tight. Sanghyuk was truly trying his patience. He decided that this time it would be better for his sanity to give in and go along with whatever Sanghyuk wanted, and then try and pick up the slack later on.

He failed to realize that he’d been telling himself that same thing since Sanghyuk was twelve.

If it was possible to open his mouth in an exasperated way, Jaehwan was pretty sure he’d done so. Sanghyuk seemed pleased as he carefully moved the spoon closer to Jaehwan, who grimaced a bit when his teeth clattered on the wooden spoon in a most unpleasant way. Jaehwan then made a surprised face as he chewed and swallowed the bits of rice and carrots.

“Wow!”

“Is it different?”

“It is— Exactly the same!”

“No way, let me try yours.” Sanghyuk, without waiting for Jaehwan’s permission, shoved his own spoon in Jaehwan’s soup, scooping up a generous bit of and shoving the thing inside his mouth. All Jaehwan could do was watch in disbelief. “Yeah, it’s the same.”

“I told you—”

“Yours is a little bit better, though.”

Jaehwan just sighed, shook his head, and went back to his food. “Whatever you say, Your Highness.”

“If you two are quite done with your indirect kisses.” Hongbin said, too loud in the calmness of their camp. Jaehwan’s ears warmed up. Next to him, Sanghyuk ducked his head. “Should we choose someone to keep guard tonight?”

“Nah.” Jaehwan said, squaring his shoulders and straightening his spine in the most dignified way possible. “We have two demons who don’t need rest or sleep, and I believed everyone trusts everyone by now. The demons can keep watch.”

Hongbin narrowed his eyes minutely. “You’re putting our safety in the hands— Claws, wings or whatever - of two  _ demons _ ?”

“Why not? They were perfectly helpful during my journey to Perendale.” Jaehwan shrugged. “And they kept Daeguni safe for much longer than that.”

“That if he’s not a demon himself.” Hongbin commented as one comments on the weather. Jaehwan narrowed his eyes at him.

“He isn’t a demon.”

“Oh, come on.” Hongbin scoffed and looked around at Wonshik and Sanghyuk. “Tell me you guys didn’t think this exact same thing.”

Jaehwan glared at Wonshik as if daring him to speak. Wonshik flinched, shrinking into himself. “Uhm… I mean, I don’t think he’s  _ exactly _ a demon, but— There are things he does and says that are… Concerning.”

Hongbin’s eyebrows shot up in a ‘I told you so’ way, which Jaehwan completely ignored before turning to Sanghyuk.

Sanghyuk, who was shoveling soup into his mouth in an obvious attempt to avoid talking. Jaehwan’s nostrils flared. “Your Highness?”

Sanghyuk glanced briefly his way before chewing his food - very slowly - and swallowing. “Uh… I don’t think he’s a demon, I— Don’t know what’s his deal is, I’m trying to stay… You know. Neutral.”

“Hm.” Jaehwan stared at Sanghyuk for a moment longer. “Well, he’s  _ not _ a demon and nothing about his gift is a matter for concern.” He paused, a noise coming from the tent catching his attention. Jaehwan smiled. “As I’m sure you are about to find out.”

Less than ten seconds later and Hakyeon was leading a pale, groggy Taekwoon out of the tent. Jaehwan sighed, leaving his bowl aside to go grab a restorative tonic for him in his pack; he was probably feeling very weak, considering how he hadn’t eaten anything in four days after a considerable amount of bleeding. Finding it was relatively easy, as he’d placed them on one of the outer pockets of the pack for quick access, and promptly he was already back, shoving the tonic into Taekwoon’s hands.

“Here, drink all of this.” He said as Taekwoon took the vial in his hands dumbly, blinking at it for a few seconds before doing as he was told. “How are you feeling? Dizzy? Nauseous?”

“Uhm… Dizzy, I think.” Taekwoon muttered after finishing the tonic, voice barely a whisper. 

“Mhm, that was to be expected.” Jaehwan nodded and reached up to touch Taekwoon’s forehead with his palm. “Temperature is normal too, you’re probably just dehydrated and malnourished. You need to eat a  _ lot _ of vegetables the next few days, mister.”

Taekwoon meekly nodded to agree, keeping his eyes low, and Hakyeon gently guided him to sit down. “You can examine him later, he’s not going anywhere.”

Jaehwan noticed the dubious glance Taekwoon shot Hakyeon, but decided not to comment on it. “Of course, yes, I’m— I’ll go over there now.” Jaehwan stammered and shuffled back to his previous spot, ignoring the way Sanghyuk was watching him from the corner of his eyes.

“It’s good to see you awake.” Wonshik said, tentative, careful. “How are you?”

Taekwoon looked at Wonshik from under his lashes, cagey, like a small animal surrounded by predators. “I’m alright. Thank you.”

Hakyeon, who hadn’t taken off the arm he had placed around Taekwoon’s shoulders, spoke next. “Taekwoon has something to tell you guys.”

Of course, all the attention turned to poor Taekwoon, who was very clearly trying to make himself smaller by shrinking under Hakyeon’s arm. Jaehwan sighed, but said nothing; there was nothing he could, not in that situation. Not his secrets to tell.

“So, are you a demon or what?” Hongbin blurted out, getting a gasp from Wonshik and a glare from Hakyeon.

“Hongbin!” Hakyeon hissed out a warning, pulling Taekwoon tighter against himself, protective. “Andraste’s blessed heart, you can’t just— Just ask people if they’re demons!”

“Well, is he?”

“He is  _ not _ a demon!”

“Told you.” Jaehwan shrugged, taking his bowl from the floor to continue eating.

“Then what is he?”

“He’s a person!” Hakyeon snapped, holding Taekwoon close.

“I’m a Somniari.” Taekwoon spoke in his whispery voice. Hakyeon clamped his mouth shut and turned to him. “A Dreamer.”

“So you’re a mage?” Wonshik asked, uncertain, to which Taekwoon shook his head, limp strands of black hair swaying with the motion.

“No. Maybe I would have been, but I am not. I can visit the Fade freely, shape it inside dreams, but I do not possess the ability to tap into it for spellwork.”

“What about the—” Hongbin gestured towards Fear and Deceit, who had been quietly perched atop Taekwoon and Hakyeon’s tent, observing everything without moving.

“They are— Friends.” Taekwoon looked over his shoulder at the demons. Jaehwan could spot the ghost of a smile on his lips. “They are family.”

“Didn’t you have to summon them for them to exist outside of the Fade?” Hongbin asked, obviously still suspicious.

The corners of Taekwoon’s mouth twitched, and Jaehwan could almost see the smugness he was trying to contain. “No. They are— They are very powerful demons. They can cross the Veil freely.”

A beat of silence followed that statement.

Sanghyuk was the first to speak. “That’s badass.”

“Watch your language, you little shit.” Jaehwan playfully snapped at him, making Sanghyuk and Hakyeon laugh, while Taekwoon smiled bashfully, Wonshik watched everything with a dumb look on his face and Hongbin rolled his eyes.

“So… You’re a Dreamer.” Wonshik said, and Taekwoon nodded to agree. “Is that how you learned about the cultists and the jewel?”

“Not exactly.” Taekwoon shifting a bit next to Hakyeon, sitting up straighter, head held higher. “I was in Tevinter—”

“Tevinter?” Hongbin raised his eyebrows. “Impressive, I wouldn’t expect an elf to travel there alone.”

“I wasn’t alone.” Taekwoon, again, shot a glance towards the two ravens before continuing. “I wanted to visit Arlathan forest. On my way there, I ran into the cultists and Deceit sensed something off about them. After consulting with my— My mentor, we decided I should look into whatever they were doing.”

“Your mentor being…?” Hongbin prompted.

Taekwoon shared a look with Hakyeon, who smiled gently at him and rubbed his back, encouraging. Jaehwan wasn’t sure if he wanted to coo or vomit. “My mentor— Dirthamen.”

Another beat of silence.

“Dirthamen.” Hongbin echoed. “Like the elven god?”

“Yes.”

“Right.”

“I am not asking you to believe me. It makes little difference if you do, in fact.” Taekwoon said, holding eye contact with Hongbin; Jaehwan had the impression of seeing his eye twitch.

“He’s telling the truth, Binnie.” Hakyeon jumped into the conversation, and Hongbin gave him an unimpressed look.

“Having the hots for him must have fried your brain.”

Hakyeon got positively red with that accusation, and Taekwoon wasn’t much different. “Th-that has nothing to do with this! He’s telling the truth, why would he lie about this!?”

Hongbin scoffed. “The best liars don’t need a reason to lie.”

“He’s not lying.” Jaehwan intervened before everything spiraled down into another discussion. This part of their group dynamics Jaehwan did  _ not _ miss. “He’s not lying about anything, I can attest to it all.”

Hongbin looked like he wanted to keep arguing, but instead he scoffed, shook his head and continued eating. Jaehwan took it as a victory.

“What’s up with your old clan, though?” Sanghyuk asked. Jaehwan felt like smacking him for the lack of tact. “That Keeper guy sure seemed to have beef with you.”

Again, Jaehwan was aware of the way Hakyeon wrapped his arm protectively around Taekwoon, the way he pulled him closer.

“Yes, Keeper Heejun— Because of what I am, he felt it would be safer for the clan if I was exiled.”

“That’s really stupid, I mean— Can you even hurt anyone with it?” Sanghyuk asked bluntly again, but this time Jaehwan was glad of it. It would be fine; their group would be fine.

Taekwoon, as if to confirm Jaehwan’s theory, smiled. “No, I can’t. I can only move in the Fade, that is in no way harmful.”

“The worst Daeguni can do is give you nightmares, if he feels so inclined.” Jaehwan added.

“That’s really fucking cool.” Sanghyuk’s eyes were twinkling. Jaehwan fought not to smile like some sap.

“I— I understand you all have reservations about me.” Taekwoon said, lowering his head. Hakyeon returned to rubbing his back soothingly. “If— If my abilities make you uncomfortable in any way, and if you would prefer I left, I will do so.”

“You’re not going anywhere.” Jaehwan immediately said, as if that ended the issue right there.

“I agree, you’ve been nothing but helpful to our cause.” Wonshik said. “We might have started off on the wrong foot, but you’ve proven yourself since, and while I don’t fully understand the complexities of your abilities, I don’t believe they were ever reason for concern.”

“I don’t want you to leave either.” Sanghyuk shrugged. “You’ve done nothing wrong and never gave the impression to be a liability in any way.”

All eyes then turned to Hongbin, who, again, rolled his eyes. “Well, I mean. I don’t like you, but then again, I don’t like many people. As long as you don’t bother me, I won’t bother you. You can stay.”

“See? I told you they’d be fine with it.” Hakyeon said to Taekwoon, smiling at him encouragingly. “Come, I’ll help you over to the stream.”

“I can walk on my own, Hakyeon.” Taekwoon mumbled, sounding equally bratty and sleepy.

“What if you get dizzy halfway there and fall on your head? Better safe than sorry.” Hakyeon got up, helping Taekwoon do the same. Just then Jaehwan realized that Hakyeon had been carrying a satchel at his side, a clean drying cloth peeking out on one corner from where it had been haphazardly stuffed.

Taekwoon reluctantly got up, turning around to face the group. “Thank you for— For letting me stay. I apologize for the time I made you all waste, and I promise to do better from now on.”

“It’s no harm done, these past few days were hard on all of us.” Wonshik said.

“Yeah, and you saved Hakyeon’s life too, a couple days of rest is the least we could give you.” Sanghyuk agreed.

Taekwoon smiled, shy and sweet, and nodded. “Thank you.”

“Come on, you should wash up quickly and get back to bed.” Hakyeon said to Taekwoon and turned to the others. “Are we leaving tomorrow?”

“Yes, if Taekwoon thinks he’s well enough to walk.” Sanghyuk replied and they all turned to Taekwoon, who nodded in response. “Then it’s decided, we’re setting out for Caimen Brea in the morning.”

“Very well, one more reason for you to wash fast. Need to get as much rest as you can.” Hakyeon finally walked away, guiding a still slightly dazed Taekwoon along.

Jaehwan watched them go with a pleased smile on his face, returning his attention to his unfinished bowl of soup. He’d gotten about three bites in when he noticed Sanghyuk had been staring at him, openly and unabashed. Jaehwan finished swallowing the soup he had in his mouth and asked, “What?”

“You knew all of this from the start.” Sanghyuk said, not a question but a realization. “You knew about Taekwoon.”

Jaehwan didn’t see the point in denying it. “I did. He felt it would be useful for all of us if I knew, and it turns out he was right. That’s how I was able to keep in touch with Taekwoon during my time away, how we exchanged updates.”

“I see.” Sanghyuk nodded slowly, letting all the information sink in. “We thought it was through the demons.”

“We communicated through them too, if I needed more immediate assistance and wasn’t in a position where I could easily fall asleep.”

“That… Explains so much.” Sanghyuk chuckled to himself and shook his head, lowering his eyes to the floor. In the light of the campfire, it was hard to tell if Sanghyuk’s ears were truly red. “I thought— I thought up so many things to explain how you two got so close so fast.”

“Oh? Like what?”

Sanghyuk bounced his shoulders up and down, an awkward attempt at shrugging. “Like— Like maybe you two had already known each other for a while and were working together somehow.”

Jaehwan couldn’t help a surprised chuckle. “Working together?”

“Y-yeah, you know… There had just been an attack, and I was— I was not thinking properly. I’m sorry.”

Jaehwan rolled his eyes fondly, smile still on his lips, putting his bowl aside and reaching out to pat Sanghyuk’s shoulder. He froze for a millisecond, eyeing Jaehwan’s hand with shock, but relaxed again just as fast. “You have nothing to be sorry for. I’m sure everyone came to their own conclusions about it, due to the timing of it all.”

“You’re always so— Calm about things like this.” Sanghyuk had a hitch between his brows as he spoke. “I always expect you to be upset with me.”

“I told you, haven’t I? It makes me proud to see you questioning things.” Jaehwan said, getting up from where he’d been sitting on the floor once he spotted Hakyeon returning to camp. “Maker knows how long I’ve been trying.”

Sanghyuk made a face at him and went back to his own food. “I wasn’t  _ that _ bad,” he mumbled into his bowl like a grumpy brat.

Jaehwan just laughed and shook his head, affection warm in his heart, and moved towards Hakyeon, intercepting him just as he was about to enter the tent. “Hakyeon?”

Hakyeon turned to him, looking exhausted but happy at the same time, shiny eyes lined with dark circles. “Yes?”

“I just— Thank you for everything you’ve done for Taekwoon.” Jaehwan said, glancing towards the stream. He couldn’t see Taekwoon from where they were, partially hidden behind shrubbery and darkness as he was, but he could spot his movements. “I don’t know everything he’s been through and I know better than to pry, but I know he’s had it rough.”

“Yeah, he— He told me.” Hakyeon sighed, eyes dropping to the ground momentarily before he locked them with Jaehwan’s again. “He was so scared. Still is, it’ll take him a long time to fully trust anyone.”

“I noticed you two have become… Close.” Jaehwan chose the word carefully, in order not to jump to any misguided conclusions.

“We have, yes.”

“Then I’m trusting you to take good care of him.” Jaehwan paused, then laughed to himself. “I hope he doesn’t hear me say this, he would smack me upside the head. All I mean is, he is very fond of you, so… Please, don’t break his heart.”

Hakyeon broke into a sheepish grin and gave Jaehwan a short nod. “I know, and I won’t. I hope I won’t, at least. He’s been through so much, and I’m trying to be careful as to not add one more heartache to his collection, but— I feel like it’s going to be ok. He’s so strong, I see that now more than ever.”

“Then Daeguni is in the right hands. I worry about him a lot, you know.” Jaehwan sighed. “We are not as close as you’d think we are, but I care about him. He’s a good person. He deserves better.”

“Mhm, he truly does.”

They stared into the distance for a moment, towards where Taekwoon was still washing up by the stream, before Jaehwan turned to Hakyeon with a smile. “I’ll let you get back to what you were doing.”

“Alright. And Jaehwan?” Hakyeon called when Jaehwan was already turning to get back to his previous spot. “Thank you for everything - and I mean  _ everything _ .”

Jaehwan beamed at Hakyeon and shook his head. “You have nothing to thank me for. It’s what friends do, right?”

“Oh, you— Come here.” Hakyeon said, not even waiting for Jaehwan to respond before pulling him into a tight hug, one that Jaehwan promptly reciprocated - he loved hugs, after all. Any chance for hugging, he would be the first in line.

Or. Well. If the person he had to hug was not Sanghyuk because that would be— Awkward. Unprofessional. 

But as it was Hakyeon, Jaehwan gave him one of his very best hugs, tight but not tight enough to hurt, just enough to feel warm and cozy and comfortable, that lasted long enough for the feeling to linger.

He entirely missed the longing in Sanghyuk’s eyes as he watched from the sidelines.

 

✶✶✶

 

Hongbin took a deep breath, pushing down his most volatile emotions, the ones who would have him crying in front of his best friend, and entered the tent. Hakyeon was busying himself with cleaning up a little inside, getting rid of old bandages and dirty bowls, dusting off the bedrolls - it didn’t escape Hongbin’s notice for even a second how Hakyeon was placing his bedroll uncomfortably close to Taekwoon’s, barely a palm’s length away.

So that’s what was happening, huh.

Hongbin had to stop for a moment longer to push down the new feelings that bubbled up inside him at the sight before clearing his throat to catch Hakyeon’s attention. Hakyeon, who had been kneeling on the floor fixing his bedroll, turned around to face him and immediately smiled. Hongbin felt the guilt coiling inside his gut again; he almost lost that. Almost lost Hakyeon.

“Hey, Binnie.” Hakyeon greeted, getting up and patting his trousers to dust them off.

“Hey. I— Can I talk to you for a sec?”

Hakyeon frowned slightly, as if the question confused him. “Of course, you don’t have to ask.”

Hongbin nodded stiffly, taking a deep breath. “Yeah. Ok, yes— I know that.”

“Binnie, what’s wrong?” Hakyeon asked, taking a step forward.

Hongbin couldn’t take the concern in his voice, in his expression, and decided to let go of his dignity in favor of showing Hakyeon the extent of his appreciation towards him for once. He lunged forward and latched himself to Hakyeon in a tight, almost desperate hug. Hakyeon seemed dazed for a second, taking a heartbeat to process what was happening, before he also wrapped his arms around Hongbin in a tight hug, the feeling enough to ease the weight in his heart.

“I’m so sorry, Hakyeonie.” Hongbin said into his shoulder. “I’m so sorry, I should have been more careful, I almost got you killed and I don’t know how I would live with myself if—”

“Hey, hey, Binnie, no.” Hakyeon shook his head and grabbed Hongbin gently by the shoulders, pushing him away from himself just so he could look into his eyes. “It wasn’t your fault, how could it have been? I was distracted and barely awake, I was an easy target that night. You’re not to blame.”

“But Yeoni—”

“ _ No _ . It’s  _ not _ your fault, alright?” Hakyeon gave Hongbin a little shake. “You have to stop blaming yourself, you think I haven’t noticed how tired you’ve been, that you haven’t been sleeping? I’ve been preoccupied, yes, but I haven’t gone blind.”

“I—” Hongbin stammered, voice sounding like a croak. “I can’t sleep, I— Every time I close my eyes I can see that spear going through you and I can’t help but feel I was the one who did it, for not being better, for not being more aware, for not being smarter or faster or stronger or—”

“ _ Stop _ . It wasn’t your fault.” Hakyeon repeated, embracing Hongbin again. Hongbin felt like his heart was made of thin fabric, and that fabric was being stretched and ripped and ruined and it  _ hurt _ . He closed his eyes tight, willed the tears not to fall.

“I don’t know what I would have done if you had died, Yeonie.” Hongbin squeezed Hakyeon tight against himself, not caring if that made him seem weak or desperate - he was both of those things. “I brought you into this mess and I can’t even do a good job watching out for your safety, I’m so, so,  _ so _ sorry.”

“Hey, it’s not like you forced me into this, you gave me the option to go or stay and I made the choice to stay.” Hakyeon gently reminded him; Hongbin didn’t think he deserved that gentleness. “I don’t regret it. Despite everything, the injuries, the fighting, the traveling, I don’t regret it. I’m happy that I chose to see this through.”

Hongbin inhaled deep and long through his nose, stepping back so he could look at Hakyeon’s face. “Because of Taekwoon?”

Hakyeon flinched and ducked his head shyly, cheeks darkening. “N-not  _ only _ because of him, I’m happy that I got to meet the others too.” Hongbin continued to stare at Hakyeon until he huffed, impatient, and added, “Fine, Taekwoon is special, but I mean it! I’m happy I agreed to come with you.”

Hongbin sighed, pushing down his still raging emotions. Having Hakyeon’s forgiveness helped, but— It would take time; even before he came to apologize, he already knew that the forgiveness he needed the most was his own. He decided to focus instead on his second most glaring emotion, which was concern.

“Yeonie… Be careful.” He said, holding Hakyeon’s hands and not breaking eye contact. “Whatever it is you feel for him— Please, walk with your eyes open.”

“I know, Binnie, I—”

“I’m serious.” Hongbin insisted and squeezed Hakyeon’s hand for emphasys. “I remember how you used to be like when you first began falling for Wongeun. You lose sight of things, get tunnel visioned.”

“I’ve grown since then, Binnie. I know better now.” Hakyeon earnestly said. Hongbin wasn’t sure he believed him. “And Taekwoon— He’s not Wongeun.”

“I know he isn’t, and even if he was— I worry about you.” Hongbin sighed. “You never knew how to protect yourself from heartbreak.”

Hakyeon, to his surprise, smiled. “And you never learned how to open yourself to chances.”

“What—”

“You know exactly what I’m talking about.” Hakyeon said, and before Hongbin could predict it, Hakyeon had already smacked a kiss on his cheek, making Hongbin splutter and stumble back, away. Laughing, Hakyeon continued, “You never open yourself to love, Bin, even when love is standing right in front of you. Or, rather, when love is standing outside by the fire sharpening his sword.”

As if on cue, there was the metallic sound of Wonshik hitting his blade with the whetstone outside. Hongbin glared at Hakyeon. “It’s not like that.”

“Mhm, whatever you say, Bin.” Hakyeon hummed, spinning graciously on his heels to return to his previous task of setting up the bedrolls. “You know I’ll support you no matter what, but if you want my advice—”

“I don’t—”

“You both should get over yourselves already.”

Hongbin sighed. “I really shouldn’t have worried about you, you’re clearly fine.”

“Told you!” Hakyeon said in a singsong voice.

“I’ll let you make yours and your new boyfriend’s nuptial cot.” Hongbin said, back to his sarcastic self. Hakyeon shot him a sideways glare. “I’ll be outside if you need, although I really hope you don’t, I don’t want to have to come in here and witness you and Dalish Charming getting it on.”

“Hongbin!”

Snickering, Hongbin turned around and left the tent. He felt relatively better, lighter, although the guilt was still hovering like thunderclouds over his heart. Hakyeon was alright, though - Hakyeon was alright, and Hongbin would find a way to live with the consequences of his actions, his choices. Would learn from it and do better in the future.

He would start by not volunteering for watch duty anymore.

Once outside, his eyes found Wonshik on their own, his line of sight on him with arrow-like precision. Wonshik, his sweet, patient Wonshik; what was he doing to him?

Walking slowly so he would have at least some time to talk himself out of it, Hongbin moved towards where Wonshik was sitting by the fire, just as Taekwoon was returning from the stream, wearing clean clothes and his damp jet black hair falling in tendrils around his face. He looked pale, a little too skinny to be considered healthy, but Hongbin figured that was normal after going four days on drops of water alone. They exchanged a glance and a polite nod as they passed each other; Hongbin could be cordial if he wanted to be, he wasn’t raised in a barn.

...He was raised somewhere worse, actually. Maybe it didn’t matter.

He sat down next to Wonshik, close, but not close enough that he was touching him, giving Wonshik the choice to initiate any contact. Wonshik looked up at him from where he’d been focused on his sword and smiled, welcoming and warm. Hongbin felt like a black hole had opened inside of him.

He gave Wonshik a tight smile back and looked away, around their camp. He spotted Jaehwan grinding herbs inside a small wooden bowl on the other side of the fire, and Sanghyuk over at the stream seemingly washing the plates and other utensils they had used during dinner. Good; put the princeling to work.

Hongbin glanced at Wonshik from the corners of his eyes, breathing in deep the most subtle manner he possibly could. Maybe Hakyeon was right and he should just— Go for it. Or maybe Hakyeon was wrong - it wouldn’t be the first time, and probably not the last.

Regardless, Hongbin gathered his nerve, the shreds of his dignity, and said, “I’m sorry.”

Wonshik turned to face with a puzzled look on his face. “Sorry for what?”

“I’ve been a mess these past few days. You’ve been so patient and understanding, and I know I can be—  _ Unpleasant _ when I’m upset.”

“That’s the thing, Binnie. You were upset.” Wonshik replied, simple, going back to his sword. “I appreciate that you’re trying to apologize for how you behaved, and I accept your apology despite also knowing that you were sad and scared and didn’t mean the things you’ve said.”

“You’re too lenient with me.” Hongbin sighed, bringing his knees up to his chest and hugging his legs, eyes lost in the dancing flames of their campfire. “You shouldn’t let me get away with everything.”

“And I don’t, but it’s not like you’ve committed some heinous crime. If you had done something wrong then I would have called you out on your bullshit, but you didn’t. You just had feelings.”

Hongbin made a face. “That makes it even worse.”

Wonshik gave him a side smile. “It might come as a surprise to you, but the vast majority of people experience feelings. It’s completely normal.”

“You’re going to experience a punch to the nose very soon.” Wonshik laughed at his threat and Hongbin sighed, deciding to change his tune. “How are you so— Laid back?”

“You never trained to be a guard, so I don’t think you understand how terrible some high ranking officials can be during training. I don’t think you could ever say something to me that would be worse than what I’ve heard from them.”

Hongbin narrowed his eyes dangerously. “Give me their names.”

Wonshik rolled his eyes. “Hongbin—”

“ _ Names _ . I’m going to murder them one by one.”

“You can’t solve everything with murder.”

“Watch me.”

Wonshik chuckle-snorted and shook his head. “You’re truly one of a kind.”

Hongbin immediately felt himself lose all the fight that had been building up inside him, suddenly feeling mellow and warm and fuzzy in that strange way that wasn’t entirely comfortable yet. Would he ever get used to it? Was he just doomed to be caught unawares for the rest of his life any and every time Wonshik even looked his way?

“So are you, you know.” Hongbin muttered, deciding to let go of the last bit of dignity he still had and give in to the urge to rest his head on Wonshik’s shoulder.

Wonshik merely scooted closer and nuzzled the top of his head before going back to his sword, and if Hongbin felt at ease enough to doze off he would never confess out loud.

 

✶✶✶

 

Hakyeon waited until Taekwoon was sitting down on his bedroll before pushing an apple into his hands. “Eat.”

Taekwoon gave him an annoyed sideways look but, like the diligent baby he was, took a generous bite out of the fruit. Hakyeon smiled, pleased, and settled behind him so he could brush his hair. Taekwoon let him, quietly eating his apple as Hakyeon handled his hair, untangling it carefully with a comb.

“Are you sure you feel well enough for us to leave in the morning?” Hakyeon asked, breaking the silence that had settled in the tent. “I think we can spare one more day if you don’t think you’re up to it.”

“I’m alright, Hakyeon.” Taekwoon said, voice frail. “I have traveled under worse conditions before.”

Hakyeon clucked his tongue in annoyance. “You’ll end up getting yourself killed like this, you have to take better care of yourself.”

“Mm.” 

“I’m serious!” Hakyeon insisted, not liking the despondent reaction. “It’s not just because you’re used to traveling alone that you can just disregard your health.”

Taekwoon didn’t answer and Hakyeon felt somehow choked up. Something wasn’t right there, Taekwoon was— Hakyeon thought he would be happy after talking to everyone and clarifying where he stood within the group, after being reassured that he was welcome to stay, that he would not be turned away. His sullen mood now didn’t bode well, and it was bothering Hakyeon greatly.

He was quiet for a moment, trying to decide the best approach to handle that situation. Should he ask him up front or just give him subtle, gentle reassurance? Taekwoon could be like a little snail sometimes - one little thing and he would retract into his shell. He didn’t want to just ignore the issue, but he also didn’t want to come off too strong and up scaring Taekwoon somehow, forcing him into his shell and thus making matters all the more difficult.

He continued brushing his hair, taking far longer than absolutely necessary, until he noticed Taekwoon was almost done with his apple. He promptly exchanged the remaining bits of apple in his hand for a cantil of water, and Taekwoon, again, drank it without complaint - he didn’t glare at him this time. Concerning.

Hakyeon swallowed down that concern as he put the remains of the apple away to be thrown out later, rubbing his hands on his clothes to get rid of the stickiness before continuing to work on Taekwoon’s hair.

“I could braid your hair again, but it’s not good to do it while your hair is wet.” Hakyeon said, trying to ease the tenseness in the atmosphere somehow. “Best is to let it dry better overnight and I’ll fix it for you in the morning.”

“Ok.” Taekwoon mumbled against the cantil, voice muffled. Hakyeon sighed.

“We can try something else too. Maybe a ponytail? Simple and classic.”

“Mm.”

Hakyeon huffed. “Alright, I give in, what’s wrong?”

“Mm?” Taekwoon hummed, glancing briefly over his shoulder at Hakyeon before taking one more sip of water and closing the cantil. “Nothing’s wrong.”

“Taekwoon… We talked about this.” Hakyeon sighed, tired. “No lying.”

“I’m sorry.”

“I thought you’d be… Maybe not happy, but I expected your mood to be a little lighter after talking to everyone.” Hakyeon said, continuing to comb his hair. “Is it Hongbin? He has a big mouth on him but he isn’t a bad person.”

“I know.”

“I can talk to him if anything he said made you uncomfortable, I’m sure that—”

“You don’t have to do this.” Taekwoon interrupted with a small voice, and Hakyeon promptly stopped talking.

“‘This’ what?” Hakyeon asked, shifting a bit so he was sitting more to Taekwoon’s side than behind him, to be able to see his face. “Talk to Hongbin?”

Taekwoon shook his head, hesitating for a heartbeat or two before saying, “Be nice to me.”

Now  _ that _ got Hakyeon by surprise. He blinked, dazed, lost, and frowned. “You— You think I’m just being nice?”

“Aren’t you?” Taekwoon glanced up at him; Hakyeon couldn’t quite read the emotion in his eyes before he looked away again. “Not only did I save your life but you are also aware that I have— That I have feelings for you. You might feel like you owe me something, like you owe me kindness when you don’t.”

Hakyeon took a deep breath. He really wanted to slap Taekwoon on the back of the head. “I’m not just being nice to you, you dummy. I care about you and I want to make sure you’re well.” He snaked an arm around Taekwoon’s waist in a semi-hug. “While I’m endlessly grateful that you saved my life and aware of your feelings towards me, I worry about you because you’re important to me. Is that so hard to believe?”

Taekwoon was quiet for a second. “It is, actually.”

“Aw, for— Come here, baby.” Hakyeon gently said, coaxing Taekwoon to lean against him so he could properly wrap his arms around his body. “I understand where you’re coming from, and I get that it might difficult for you to believe me, but I do care about you. This isn’t gratitude and it’s absolutely not me doing you any favors out of a sense of duty, this is real. You’re so important to me, Taekwoonie. You truly are.”

Taekwoon huffed, unconvinced, but gladly burrowed against Hakyeon’s chest, face partially hidden. Hakyeon smiled gently down at him, stroking his hair lazily, fondly. That silly overthinking elf of his.

“We’re not dreaming right now. Not anymore.” Hakyeon said, cadence soft as a cloud. “I told you, didn’t I? I told you I would treat you the same way be it sleeping or awake. It might have been a dream, but it felt real enough that I meant everything I said.”

Again, Taekwoon didn’t speak, simply burrowing further in Hakyeon’s embrace.

“You meant it all too, right?” Hakyeon asked. “The way you feel about me?”

Taekwoon’s hold on him tightened for a brief moment. “Yes.”

“Does that mean you love me?” Hakyeon asked, face burning and heart hammering and hands clammy and throat tight.

“I— I’m not sure. I don’t think I’ve ever been in love before, so I have no way to compare.” Taekwoon responded. Hakyeon felt himself deflate, little by little, even knowing that Taekwoon never truly outright said his feelings towards him were anything but platonic. He should have known, should have seen it coming, should have— “But,” Taekwoon continued, and Hakyeon held his breath, “if all the things I’ve read about love, all the stories and poems… If they’re real, then… Then I’m very much in love.”

Hakyeon felt like he’d been shot through the heart by an arrow in the best possible way, like he was floating high up in the sky and his head was filled with thousands of stars and his heart full with Taekwoon.

He pressed a kiss to the top of Taekwoon’s head and pulled him closer, hugged him tighter. “Things are a mess right now, and everything seems complicated, but we’ll figure it out. I promise. You—  _ We _ are going to be ok. I’ll make sure of it.”

 

✶


	17. Responsibility, liability

✶

 

“You’re feeling alright? Not dizzy?” Hakyeon asked, raising a hand to touch Taekwoon’s cheek with the back of his fingers, testing his temperature. “You don’t have to put on a strong face, we can stop to rest if you want.”

“I’m alright.” Taekwoon replied, shy, and Hakyeon cooed at him.

“That’s the hundredth time you’ve asked him in the last five minutes!” Jaehwan interjected with a huff, one arm hooked around Taekwoon’s. “Do you need another tonic, Daeguni? I still have lots of it, I made a ton.”

“I’m really fine.” 

“Leave him alone, guys, you’re overwhelming him.” Wonshik said with a tired sigh.

“Overwhelming him and annoying me.” Hongbin agreed.

Sanghyuk only rolled his eyes. That’s how it had been since the moment they set off to continue their journey, before the sun was even peeking over the horizon. Taekwoon was fine, he said so himself, so why was Jaehwan still hovering over him like a mother hen? Sanghyuk needed attention too, where was the attention for him? Nowhere, that’s where.

He just wanted to be Jaehwan’s primary focus for five minutes, why was that so hard?

Sanghyuk clenched his jaw and tried to push those thoughts away, clear his mind of them. It wouldn’t help anyone to feel like that, it was not— It wasn’t the right time to be lovesick or attention starved.

“I’m just watching out for him, he did save my life.” Hakyeon said, a lilt of conceit in his tone, pride, arrogance. Taekwoon saving his life really did a number on his already inflated ego, but then again, Sanghyuk was glad of it; he was happy that Hakyeon and Taekwoon were alright. Hakyeon could strut his big head around as much as he wanted.

“Can we talk about more important things?” Wonshik asked, obviously disgruntled. He had been still half asleep when they broke camp, and only now, about an hour later, was he beginning to look more alert. Still grumpy, though. “For example, why in the Maker’s holy name are we going to Caimen Brea?”

“Oh, that’s right, I didn’t mention it yet.” Jaehwan exclaimed and gestured for all of them to walk a little closer together for the sake of not having to shout. Once they were more or less huddled together, Jaehwan continued, “While I was in the Perendale Circle, Fear helped me find a few things. One of them was a letter, the name of the cult showed up in it, so once Daeguni sent me Deceit, it helped me decode what it said and it turns out there’s something related to the jewel in the Silent Plains.”

There was a beat of silence following Jaehwan’s word vomit, and Sanghyuk was the first to break it.

“The Silent Plains.”

“Yes.”

“As in, the worst place ever?”

“I would argue that the worst place ever is your room in Castrum Draconis because the sheets are  _ always _ stained and it smells really pungent, but considering it’s not blighted I’m guessing its position decreases some. So yes, the worst place ever.”

“Very funny.” Sanghyuk scowled, ignoring how the comment stung the slightest bit - he thought Jaehwan liked his room. Maybe he should start cleaning it more often, although he had servants to do that for him. Were they not doing their jobs? Damn it. “I’m serious, are you really telling us we have to go to The Silent Plains?”

“Yes, I am serious, or do you think I’d be able to make this up for funsies?” Jaehwan huffed, then paused. “Oh. On second thought, I  _ would _ be able to make this up for funsies. But I didn’t! It’s the truth.”

“Fucking great.” Sanghyuk grumbled. The worst case scenario was having to go to The Silent Plains, even if it wasn’t a scenario he had seen coming; maybe he should have.

The Silent Plains was probably the most inhospitable place in Thedas, and that included the harsh deserts in the Anderfels. It was said that there was no life to be found in The Silent Plains, no plants, no animals - nothing. It had been the final stage for the battle that ended the First Blight, the conflict that lasted nearly two centuries; it was where the first Archdemon, Dumat, the Dragon of Silence, was slain. The amount of spilt blood from the darkspawn and from the Archdemon itself was such that the soil was forever tainted, a vast expanse of grey, arid land left behind.

And they would have to go there.

Worst case scenario.

“I hear there are wyverns and ghasts living there.” Wonshik said, shuddering.

“I doubt it.” Hongbin replied. “If there are any, they will be closer to the edges of the Plains, where they can find food.”

“Now it makes sense why we’re going to Caimen Brea.” Hakyeon said. Sanghyuk noticed he was holding Taekwoon’s hand as they walked; Sanghyuk felt an emptiness behind his ribcage at the sight. “How far are the Plains from Caimen Brea? A day’s walk?”

“Something like that.” Jaehwan agreed. “We go to Caimen Brea, fill up our supplies, and hope they don’t run out while we’re wandering the Blight Desert.”

“Sounds fucking terrific.” Hongbin grumbled, kicking at a pebble on the ground.

“And what is it that we have to find in the Plains?” Wonshik asked.

“No idea.” Jaehwan chirped.

“Better and better.” Hongbin continued grumbling. Wonshik gave him a reassuring pat on the back and turned to Jaehwan again. 

“Did you find out anything else?”

“Not yet, we’ve all been a little preoccupied the past few days.” Jaehwan replied. “I have a good amount of reading to do and a couple books to look over, I’m sure I’ll learn something soon.”

“And speaking of learning something,” Wonshik said, still looking at Jaehwan, “I asked a couple things to Sanghyuk regarding the night of the attack at Castrum Draconis, and I’d like to ask you a few things as well.”

“Oh, of course, ask away!” Jaehwan immediately replied with an open smile that made Sanghyuk’s heart bounce around his chest like a kicking ball. He really had to start getting a grip, it was getting beyond ridiculous.

“Sanghyuk mentioned the late king’s Arcane Advisor.”

“Ah, yes, Seungho.” Jaehwan twisted his mouth and scrunched his nose at the mention of the name. “He trained me for a long while. He treated me well enough, despite being very strict with me— Ugh, all those rules.” Jaehwan rolled his eyes. “Can’t do this, can’t do that, needs to behave like this and this and this, he was a big ol’ stick in the mud. He had this big thin tree branch, he would hit my fingers with it whenever I made a mistake, it burned like a bitch.”

“What!?” Sanghyuk blurted out before he could stop himself, causing most of his companions to startle with the loud exclamation. “He hit you!? How haven’t I heard of this, I would have done something!”

Jaehwan blinked at him, seemingly at a loss for a second. “Why would you have known? It was part of my training.”

“Because you were being trained to advise  _ me! _ I should have a say on your training methods!”

“Sanghyuk, when I began my training you were twelve.” Jaehwan smartly pointed out. “You didn’t even have a say on what to eat for breakfast back then.”

“But still… You should have told me.” Sanghyuk sighed, a feeling of failure taking over him. To learn that Jaehwan had been through that, such a harsh training for his sake; it made him sick to his stomach.

“There are many unsavory things that were kept from you, for your own peace of mind. Digging them up now will do you no good.” Jaehwan said using his Advisor Voice. Sanghyuk wanted to scream. “As I was saying, Seungho was… He was an excellent mage, a good mentor, but only up until the point I chose not to join the Mortalitasi order. Once I told him my final answer was no, he— He became very distant.”

“Wait, Seungho was a Mortalitasi?” Sanghyuk exclaimed again, and Jaehwan sighed.

“Yes, he was. You didn’t know?”

“I don’t know anything about anyone, apparently.” Sanghyuk grumbled, a pout on his lips he didn’t notice was there.

“Yeah, well, he was. He tried to convince me to join the order for years, but I declined. After that, my lessons with him became more rare. I think he tried convincing the king to send me away, even, judging from some gossip I heard from the servants. He couldn’t do much, since he taught me maybe a bit too well, because the king was pleased with me, enough to let me stay. I was still under a lot of scrutiny, any mistake would be enough to get me sent back to Cumberland. Or worse, since I’d become privy to many secrets of the Royal Family.”

“What—?” Sanghyuk was really getting tired of all that new information, hating to learn how many times he’d come close to losing Jaehwan for good, and he would have never known why. “Jaehwan—”

“Water under the bridge.” Jaehwan shot him a tight smile over his shoulder. “It doesn’t matter now.”

“The fuck it doesn’t!”

“Sanghyuk—”

“Your Highness, please.” Wonshik requested, polite but firm. Sanghyuk ducked his head and bit his tongue. He wanted to cry with all the frustration climbing up his insides. “Jaehwan, is there anything strange about Seungho that you can remember?”

Jaehwan hummed, pensive, before answering, “Now that you’re asking, yes. He never let me go inside his study. It was something I’ve always found both odd and infuriating, because it made it very difficult for me to obtain the books I needed for my researches. He had wards in place, including spells on the door.”

“Why the secrecy?” Wonshik questioned. “The more you talk about him, the more suspicious he sounds.”

“You think he’s behind the attack.” Jaehwan concluded, nodding slowly to himself as pondered over the concept. “Yes, it would make sense. He fell mysteriously ill only a couple days before the ball. I was the one best suited to aid him, but he demanded to bring in a healer from outside instead. I was not allowed in his room at all.”

“And nobody questioned it?” Wonshik seemed baffled. Sanghyuk was too, but he was in a state of shock too grand still, the amount of information overwhelming.

“I found it suspicious, but I was trying to expect the best. I thought maybe it was some embarrassing illness or another. Like— Pustules on his manhood, or something similarly private.”

“Ew.” Hongbin helpfully added.

“Did he ever say or do something that made you feel like he had ill intentions towards the Royal Family?” Wonshik continued his line of questioning, and Jaehwan shook his head.

“No, never. He was always a very careful man.” Jaehwan replied. “He always measured his words, always seemed to know exactly what to say and what not to say. If he had a greater scheme in his mind, he never hinted at it.”

“Do you believe he could be somehow involved in all of this?” Wonshik asked what seemed to be the most important question of all.

Jaehwan thought for a long moment, before saying, “Yes. Judging from all the information, I believe he could have something to do with it. He had access and opportunity, and if he is indeed part of this cult, he had a motive as well.”

“I guess we can start considering this guy as our number one suspect.” Hakyeon piped in after being silent during the questioning. “Because there’s also the matter of the knights they found, Wonshik mentioned there were signs of blood magic.”

“Yes, it’s what I’ve been told.”

“That means the culprit was also a mage. Seungho’s a mage.”

“It all points to him, alright.” Sanghyuk said, bitter, wishing he was indoors only so he would have a wall to punch. “If I hadn’t been so blind—”

“It’s not your fault.” Jaehwan cut him off before he could finish. “You, out of everyone, is the one with the least responsibility in this.”

Sanghyuk wanted to protest, to say that he was the heir to the throne and that he should have known better, instead of running around to indulge his own whims and selfish desires. He should have tried harder, studied more, paid more attention to the world around him. He should have protected Jaehwan better; maybe if he had he wouldn’t be suffering with such heartache and longing now.

But he hadn’t. He hadn’t, and he paid the heavy price.

“Thanks for answering everything so easily, Jaehwan.” Wonshik praised and Jaehwan, of course, beamed at him.

“It was no problem! I’ll try to poke around my memory some more, if I remember anything noteworthy I’ll let you know.”

Sanghyuk looked away, down to his feet. He didn’t like the way Jaehwan was smiling at Wonshik, jealousy eating away at him beyond his control. And if it wasn’t Wonshik it would be someone else, someone who wasn’t Sanghyuk, and he would have to just— Just swallow his feelings and endure. He hated it. He hated everything about it, hated himself most of all for being so weak, for not being good enough, for not being brave enough to take that leap.

He should forget Jaehwan, find someone new, someone not so out of his league, someone who would see him as an equal, instead of a child, a prince, a responsibility. A liability. 

“Hyogi?”

Sanghyuk almost jumped with the soft voice next to him; he was so focused on his thoughts he didn’t notice Jaehwan’s approach. “Y-yes?”

“It’s really not your fault.” Jaehwan said, eyes wide with concern. Sanghyuk cursed himself in thoughts; the plan of forgetting Jaehwan was really impossible if all Jaehwan had to do was look at him like that to breach all his defenses.

“I know. It’s— It was just a lot to take in.” Sanghyuk lied.

“I didn’t want you to find at all, much less like this. I’m sorry.”

“You have nothing to be sorry about.” Sanghyuk said, and this time it wasn’t a lie. “I’m more sorry that I couldn’t protect you.”

Jaehwan chuckled. “It’s cute of you to think I need protection.”

Sanghyuk shot Jaehwan a side smile, teasing, fond. “It’s cute of you to think you don’t.”

 

✶✶✶

 

Just practice or not, Hongbin charging at him never failed to make Wonshik fear for his life. Hongbin enjoyed fighting a little too much, if the look in his eyes was anything to go by - there was a ferocity in them, eagerness, abandon. When fighting, Hongbin was in his true element, a physical way to unleash all the pent up frustration and anger that filled his heart, and he was  _ good _ . Quick and precise. Didn’t waste time, didn’t try to make the kill last; when Hongbin charged at someone, it was with the intent to kill.

It was— Actually sort of hot.

But only if he wasn’t the one about to get murdered, because in that case it was terrifying.

It was just practice, though. Hongbin wouldn’t kill him, not really. With that in mind, Wonshik forced himself to relax and pay attention, center his focus on the task at hand. 

Hongbin lunged at him first - Hongbin was always the one to attack first - and Wonshik quickly raised his shield to block the blow, using it to push Hongbin away at the same time. Hongbin leapt back as to not lose his footing, but he’d barely touched the ground and was already advancing again, forcing Wonshik to retreat. Wonshik blocked the blows as best he could, be it with sword or shield, and tried to find an opening to begin his counterattack; Hongbin was relentless, though.

Wonshik, intent on at least breaking Hongbin’s momentum, waited until he thrusted his dagger towards his shield, and once he did, Wonshik pushed the shield forward and then upwards, catching Hongbin off guard for enough time that he could aim a kick just below his sternum - gently though, never with the intention to hurt, only to push him back. The plan worked, for Hongbin stumbled back and grinned with pride, even while his eyes sparkled with the desire to get back at Wonshik for it. Wonshik wouldn’t have it any other way.

“You’re getting better at this.” Hongbin said idly, fixing his grip on his daggers as they circled each other.

“I have a good teacher.” Wonshik threw back and Hongbin chuckled, shaking his head.

“Flattery will get you nowhere.”

“We’re way past flattery, Binbin.” Wonshik said, cheeky, and Hongbin scoffed, rolling his eyes. “Come on, stop going easy on me.”

Hongbin snorted, his grin widening. “Careful what you wish for, Shikie.”

Without giving Wonshik time to prepare, Hongbin was charging at him again, much faster this time. Wonshik barely managed to spin his body around to avoid the first blow, Hongbin easily moving with him, following his every motion as if they had rehearsed beforehand. He went left, Hongbin went right to block him; Hongbin went left, Wonshik went left to circle around. It felt like a dance, and Wonshik was beginning to understand Hakyeon whenever he compared fighting to dancing - there was rhythm there, like a waltz not danced to the sound of musical instruments, but to the sound of metal clashing against metal.

And Hongbin— Hongbin seemed to come alive, violence second nature to him. There was something about him when Hongbin was fighting, a spark behind his eyes, something that made him look more beautiful than he already was, something that give him an edge of danger and enchantment, like there was a siren singing Wonshik towards his doom just under his skin.

The more he thought about it, the more he realized he didn’t mind being dragged over the edge.

And as the double-edged blade being head over heels for Hongbin was, Wonshik got distracted and Hongbin took the opportunity to spin and slide a leg under him, making Wonshik lose his balance completely and fall backwards.

With a yelp, Wonshik dropped both his sword and his shield and grabbed Hongbin by the arm, unknowingly pulling him down with him.

They landed awkwardly, Wonshik’s elbow hitting the ground first, followed by his lower back, the pain shooting through making him groan. Hongbin merely let out a  _ oof,  _ since he had the advantage of having fallen on top on Wonshik instead of the hard floor. Wonshik just let himself go limp, sprawling on the ground under Hongbin, who just shifted slightly to rest both arms over Wonshik’s chest, watching him with a teasing side smile.

“Got something on your mind?” Hongbin asked in a low voice, his baritone sounding even deeper somehow. “You seemed distracted.”

“I guess I was, a little bit.” Wonshik replied, placing one arm under his head for support, just to make it easier to look up at Hongbin. Maybe that was a mistake, because Hongbin looked gorgeous with his hair messy, face reddened with exertion, sunlight shining behind him making it look like he had a halo.

“You should stay focused. I could have hurt you, you know.” Hongbin said, resting his chin over his arms, eyes not moving away from Wonshik’s.

“I trust you.” Wonshik answered without a hint of hesitation. Hongbin blinked, the only thing that betrayed any surprise.

“You’re an idiot.”

“I know.”

“You should only trust yourself, especially in a fight.” Hongbin advised. There was something in his eyes, something Wonshik couldn’t quite read. “A moment’s hesitation could be your undoing.”

“I know, you don’t have to—”

“But I do.” Hongbin interrupted, pink tongue darting out to wet his dry lips. “I don’t want you to get hurt too.”

Wonshik immediately closed his mouth and sighed, raising his free hand to brush the hair away from Hongbin’s eyes. “I’ll be more careful.”

“Promise.” Hongbin asked— No,  _ demanded _ , and Wonshik smiled up him, nodding.

“I promise.”

“Hmph. Good.” Hongbin said, lips jutting out just the slightest bit into something that was not quite a pout. It was still close enough. “Let’s take a quick break.”

Hongbin pushed himself up almost immediately, reaching out a hand to help Wonshik do the same. Wonshik accepted the help easily, letting Hongbin haul him up to his feet before stretching his sore arms and rolling his stiff shoulder joints. Hongbin grinned teasingly at him when his bones cracked loudly as he moved towards his waterskin. Wonshik took a second to look around, check on the others; Jaehwan was sitting under a tree pouring over a book, while Sanghyuk was sitting a few meters away, sharpening his greatsword and whistling a random tune. Taekwoon and Hakyeon were a bit further away, in their own little world, their little bubble, talking to each other in whispers. Wonshik smiled to himself - he liked Hakyeon, and he was warming up to Taekwoon as well lately. That elf was probably one of the cutest people he’d ever met, for one, and Wonshik always had a soft spot for cute people. And they were good, on their own and for each other. Wonshik was happy for them, hoped they would work their relationship out sooner rather than later.

He was distracted with his thoughts, head miles away, when the feeling of arms snaking around his waist and warmth against his back brought him back to the moment. Looking over his shoulder, he found the top of Hongbin’s head, face hidden between his shoulder blades, just— Hugging him.

“Binnie?” Wonshik called, careful, placing one hand over Hongbin’s arms. “Everything ok?”

“Yeah. I’m fine.” Hongbin said, voice muffled. Wonshik didn’t believe him, but said nothing; trying to pry the truth from Hongbin would end in an argument, and Wonshik was done fighting with Hongbin. “Just let me hold you for a moment.”

Wonshik was stunned into silence with those words, so soft, so vulnerable, coming from Hongbin’s lips, in Hongbin’s voice. Wonshik smiled to himself, taking hold of both of Hongbin’s wrists to pull them gently, coaxing him to hug him tighter. Hongbin didn’t need much convincing to do just that.

“For as long as you want.”

 

✶✶✶

 

Sanghyuk was trying very hard not to stare, but it was, apparently, impossible to avoid it - Jaehwan, sitting under the shade of a tree and flipping the pages of a large old book, was looking like something— Otherworldly. His face was set with concentration, a hitch between his brows and a pout on his lips, the leaves of the tree above him swaying gently with the breeze, making shadows and spots of light dance in his skin, and the cream colored tunic, a bit too large for him, reflecting the sun and making it seem like Jaehwan was glowing.

Jaehwan was— Mesmerizing. Stunning.

And just like a moth flying headfirst towards the flickering flame of a candle - so,  _ stupidly  _ \- Sanghyuk dropped everything he was doing, which at that moment was sharpening his sword, and moved to sit down next to Jaehwan under the tree.

Jaehwan looked up at him, mildly startled, and smiled in a way greeting. Sanghyuk smiled back immediately, glad that he didn’t look like he was grimacing for once.

“What are you reading?”

Jaehwan gave him a dismissive shrug, eyes returning to the tome in his hands. “Just a book I got from the Perendale Circle. Fear seem to have thought this would be useful, but so far it’s just a book with ancient spells. Nothing about dragons, and most of these are forbidden anyway.”

“Says the Blood Mage.” Sanghyuk teased.

“Hey, my blood magic was a choice made on your behalf, and I haven’t used it for anything evil. So,” Jaehwan paused and turned to Sanghyuk just to say, “shush.”

Sanghyuk chortled but didn’t argue, looking down at the book in Jaehwan’s hands. It was open on a page about changing one’s shape. “Does this mean mages can really turn people into frogs?”

Jaehwan frowned, like Sanghyuk had just asked something outrageous, but soon broke into laughter. “Wh— No! We can’t turn people into frogs, imagine the chaos that would be!” Jaehwan shook his head, still smiling. “You see, magic is connected to the Fade. When we use magic, we— How can I explain this— We  _ pull _ a little bit of the Fade into the real world and give it the shape we want. We can’t really mess with the shape of real things, such as turning people into frogs. We can affect their bodies, we can make them freeze, or petrify them, burn them, but we can’t unmake what they are. Does that make sense?”

Sanghyuk nodded. “Yes, it does.”

“Being able to turn people into frogs would be so useful, imagine the amount of mages who could have escaped the Circle by turning templars into frogs.” Jaehwan mused with a giggle. “And they’d be well fed too, toad leg with lemon is a delicacy.”

“Wouldn’t that be cannibalism?”

“Don’t think about it too hard.” Jaehwan gave Sanghyuk’s arm a brief pat. “As I was saying, this shape changing thing is for the mage themself, it’s a school of magic called Shapeshifting. It’s very rare and forbidden by the Chantry since it makes it harder for templars to locate and capture mages.”

“So you can turn yourself into a frog?” Sanghyuk asked, eyes wide with wonder. Jaehwan smiled, sheepish, at him and shook his head; Sanghyuk almost let out an inhuman noise that would be very close to a squeal. Jaehwan was— He was so  _ cute. _

“No, I can’t. This is a very difficult type of magic, it takes years to master it. I’d have to study animals in the wild, understand their anatomy, the way they move, their nature. It takes a lot of work and patience.”

“I bet you could do it.” Sanghyuk said without thinking much, and Jaehwan gave him a dubious glance.

“Of course I could, I’m a great mage.” He said with an arrogant sniff. “But it seems like too much work and I don’t have the time right now. Besides, I can’t see a good use for it anyway.”

“You could turn into a raven and hang out with Fear and Deceit.”

“I can hang out with them whenever I want, though, they’re right there.” Jaehwan pointed to a nearby tree, where both demons sat, grooming their feathers. “It would confuse Daeguni something fierce too, and he’s been through enough.”

“You’re no fun sometimes.” Sanghyuk sighed. Then, realizing something, he turned to Jaehwan. “Wait, could this teach you how to change into a dragon?”

Jaehwan cocked an eyebrow at him. “A dragon? I mean… It’s  _ possible _ , I suppose, but for that one would have to study dragons for a long time, and they are very rare to find. And you’re probably thinking of the females, the High Dragons, who are bigger and more powerful than the males. They are even rarer.”

“But you could.”

Jaehwan rolled his eyes. “Yes, Hyogi, I could. I won’t, but I could. Why?”

“Because what if this is the reason for you to have this book?” Sanghyuk said, pointing at the page. “To fight the Dragon of Dreams as an equal!”

Jaehwan sighed and shook his head, giving Sanghyuk another one of those soft smiles of his. In his mind, Sanghyuk was screaming - yelling, even. “I don’t think that’s the reason, as disappointing as that sounds. Even if I turned into a High Dragon, my strength would not compare to that of a god.”

“Then what good is this for?” Sanghyuk was unable to hide the lilt of annoyance from his tone, and that, for some reason, made Jaehwan laugh.

“This is not the only spell here, I’m sure we’ll figure it out.” He informed, then frowned. “Although I’ve gone through it about three times and still can’t find the spell I’m supposed to find.”

“If anyone can figure it out, it’s you.” Sanghyuk said in a voice that was close to a whisper, soft, maybe a little too full of adoration. Jaehwan looked up at him again from where he’d been reading the contents of the book, eyes wide and glimmering and so beautiful, so incredibly beautiful, and he was so close, if Sanghyuk just leaned in a little further he could kiss him, he should kiss him, he should confess his feelings, take a chance, it was time and he loved Jaehwan so much, too much to keep it a secret. 

His mind was screaming at him  _ do it do it do it _ , and he wanted so much, he wanted Jaehwan so bad and the time was right, they were relaxed and together and having fun and Jaehwan seemed to be in a good mood and— 

A loud sound of metal hitting metal cut through the air and both Jaehwan and Sanghyuk jumped with the start it gave them. Sanghyuk looked up towards the direction the noise had come from and wished he could march over and snap their necks; Wonshik and Hongbin had gone back to their sparring session. Jaehwan chuckled nervously, cheeks dusted a faint pink.

“That scared me.” He said, that little smile still playing on his lips, and Sanghyuk wanted to kiss him, he still wanted to kiss him so bad, but now the moment was ruined.

If he could enact revenge upon Wonshik and Hongbin, he would.

As it was, he simply forced himself to smile. “Y-yeah, that was— Unexpected.”

An awkward silence filled the space between them, and Sanghyuk felt one clock tick away from starting to rip out his own hair with frustration. Why was it all so hard? He had taken so many people to bed without it being such a hassle, why couldn’t he just spell it out to Jaehwan he had been in love with him since they were teens? It should be easy.  _ I love you _ . Three words. Three very short words.  

And then what? Jaehwan would reject him, because  _ of course _ he would, when did Jaehwan ever give him any indication he returned Sanghyuk’s feelings? Never. He would let him down nicely, give him an excuse or another about being proper and professional, that he was his advisor, tell him to go find himself someone suited to be his queen because that’s what Sanghyuk was supposed to do. He was not supposed to fall in love with his Arcane Advisor, who was far too out of his league, too good, too perfect, too beautiful, too fragile. Sanghyuk could easily break Jaehwan, like holding a baby bird too tight would certainly shatter its frail bones.

He knew that. He knew all of it, and yet— He wanted. He still wanted Jaehwan so bad it physically hurt, claws taking chunks of his heart away one scratch at a time. If only for a night, he wanted to be able to hold Jaehwan close, whisper to him all the sweet nothings he deserved to hear, bury his nose on his hair, let himself sink into his embrace. Those were simple desires, simple enough.

Why did it have to be so hard?

The sounds of Hongbin and Wonshik practicing continued to cut through the air, carrying over to where they sat, reminding Sanghyuk of the moment he’d lost. He felt the need to make up for it somehow, to make it count for something, get closer to Jaehwan, perhaps try and show him he could be worthy to court him.

Yes. That was a good plan.

Now what was he good at that Jaehwan would not be able to compete with—

Ah. Of course.

“You know,” Sanghyuk began, as naturally as he could, “you should learn how to fight.”

Jaehwan whipped his head up to face him so fast he wouldn’t have been surprised if it had gotten dislocated from his neck and went flying away. “What? I know how to fight.”

“No, I mean, I know you can fight,” Sanghyuk quickly explained, hands up in surrender noticing how Jaehwan was getting defensive, “but I think it would be good if you learned how to fight close range.”

Jaehwan blinked slowly, only once, as he processed the suggestion. “Ok. I see. I have only one question.”

“What question?”

“Have you gone completely insane!?” Jaehwan shrieked suddenly, making Taekwoon and Hakyeon who had been talking nearby jump with fright. “I’m a mage! I don’t— I don’t have the build to fight close range! My arms are like overcooked Orlesian pasta! What are you thinking!?”

Sanghyuk didn’t want to laugh at the outburst, but there was no helping it; Jaehwan was so— So incredibly  _ cute _ . “Calm down. I know what I’m suggesting, and that’s exactly why you should consider it.”

“But—!”

“I know, Jyani, you can’t fight, your arms are pudding, blablabla.” Sanghyuk said, Jaehwan’s cheeks puffing out with outrage. “Isn’t that something you can use to your advantage? Think about it, what templar expects a mage to be able to defend themselves against a sword? No one.”

Jaehwan narrowed his eyes at him. “I suppose you’re right about that.”

“Of course I’m right.” Sanghyuk scoffed. “So my idea is, I’ll teach you some basics of how to fight close range, so you’ll know how to defend yourself if you ever need it.”

“When you put it like that... It does sound like that would be beneficial.” Jaehwan conceded with a tired sigh. “Fine. What’s the catch?”

“Catch?” Sanghyuk frowned. “I just want to be helpful, why would there be a catch?”

Jaehwan arched an eyebrow at him. “You never do favors without getting something out of it.”

“Oh, come on, you never asked for any favors from me.”

“Exactly because I know they come with strings attached!” Jaehwan protested. “Remember how you used to bribe the cook to give you extra portions of cake in exchange of you getting your father to order ingredients from his parents’ farm?”

“That was  _ one _ time—”

“And when we went to visit your cousin, Sungjae, in Val Firmin and he gave you his ridiculously expensive jewel encrusted bow and quiver in exchange of you delivering his love letters to his secret elven boyfriend!?”

“That wasn’t that bad, it was a good exchange!”

“You’re shit at shooting arrows! You broke half the windows of Castrum Draconis with that thing!”

“But Sungjae got all his mail delivered to his boyfriend.” Sanghyuk concluded. “And Ilhoon was happy too, so there you have it.”

“ _ What is the catch _ , Your Highness?”

“There is no catch!” Sanghyuk said, laughter in his voice. “I promise, there is no catch. I just want you to be able to protect yourself, in case I’m not there for any reasons. I— I worry about you.”

“...Oh.” All the fight in Jaehwan seemed to puff out of him with that single breath. “I— I see. Alright, I… I’ll accept the offer.”

“Really?” Sanghyuk perked up like a happy puppy.

“Really.” Jaehwan nodded. “But not today, we’ll probably head out soon.”

“Alright, we can start next time we stop.” Sanghyuk smiled and nodded. “You can use your staff, even. That thing looks sturdy.”

“It is, actually. It’s made of a rare metal.” Jaehwan informed. “It was given to me by the Grand Enchanter of the Ostwick Circle as a parting gift when I was transferred to Cumberland.”

“Seems like you hold it dearly.”

“I do.” Jaehwan confirmed with an absent-minded grin. “It’s been with me for a long time.”

_ Maker, he’s beautiful. _

“Jaehwan?”

“Hm?”

Sanghyuk opened his mouth to speak, to say  _ I love you _ , to confess his feelings, but something stopped him. It wasn’t the right moment. Instead he closed his mouth again and shook his head, smiling. “It’s nothing. I’m just excited about teaching you to fight.”

Jaehwan giggled and nodded, turning his attention back to his book and flipping the page explaining Shapeshifting to one explaining something called a Transference. Whatever that meant. Mage-y stuff, probably.

“I’m excited too.”

 

✶✶✶

 

“One braid… No, two braids.” Hakyeon said as he combed and tugged on Taekwoon’s hair, who simply made faces from time to time but didn’t complain, allowing Hakyeon to style his hair as he pleased. “Two braids on the sides here, and then a ponytail, you’ll look so good in a ponytail.”

Taekwoon laughed through his nose but didn’t argue Hakyeon’s point. Truth was, he wasn’t sure how to act. He had confessed his love for Hakyeon, but Hakyeon had not said it back, and while Taekwoon would never force or even expect a confession - or even feelings - from him, it made it very difficult to figure out how to behave around him. He didn’t want to make Hakyeon uncomfortable, didn’t want to pressure him into catering to his childish infatuation, which he didn’t ask for and didn’t need.

He didn’t want to burden Hakyeon any further.

“Tip your back a little?” Hakyeon requested and Taekwoon, of course, obliged. “Like that, thank you.”

Taekwoon hummed in response, a few quiet seconds passing by before Hakyeon spoke again.

“Are you still feeling light headed, by the way? I can get you something to eat.”

“I’m alright, thank you. I already feel much stronger.”

“Hm, good.”

“You lost more blood than I did, though.” Taekwoon said, his throat scratching. He didn’t like how faded his voice sounded. “You should eat too.”

“But I didn’t spend four days without food and barely no water.”

Taekwoon didn’t have a reply for that particular fact, so he remained quiet as Hakyeon continued to work on his hair. He closed his eyes, enjoying Hakyeon’s careful ministrations, the warmth of his body so close to him, the smell of him— Honey. Hakyeon smelled like something akin to honey, though not quite so sweet; honey and spices, but not only that. He smelled of... Faraway lands and sunshine. The ocean. Hakyeon smelled like— Like freedom. 

But there was danger there too, behind that freedom; a sea that could be calm and gentle, with waves coming and going languidly, caressing one’s feet, but that could also be wild and unpredictable, dark, deep waters that could pull you under without warning, without mercy.

Hakyeon would pull him under eventually.

Taekwoon would be happy to let himself drown in him when the time came.

“What’s on your mind?” Hakyeon’s question came in a low, soothing tone, as if he was being careful not to startle him. Taekwoon smiled to himself. “You’re so quiet.”

“I’m always quiet.” Taekwoon replied, cheeky, and Hakyeon huffed an unimpressed breath behind him.

“You know what I meant. You’re quieter than usual.” Hakyeon said and, tugging on Taekwoon’s hair to, presumably, finish his work on his hair, made a noise of victory in his throat. “Hah! Done! Now let me see.”

Hakyeon didn’t wait for Taekwoon to turn, instead getting up from where he was sitting to run around him and plop down again in front of him. Hakyeon blinked and widened his eyes, jaw dropping at the sight of Taekwoon.

“You look—” He trailed off and sighed. “You look so good.”

Taekwoon ducked his head, embarrassed, but smiled.

“I mean it.” Hakyeon insisted, reaching up to Taekwoon’s hair to fix some imperfection or another. “Let me just— There, just a few strands of hair to frame your gorgeous face. This hairdo will take longer to fall apart, it should stay out of your eyes when you’re fighting.”

Taekwoon nodded in acknowledgement. “Thank you.”

“No need to thank me, I like playing with your hair.” Hakyeon said, simple, but Taekwoon felt the need to duck his head again before Hakyeon saw the blush on his cheeks. “You didn’t answer me, though.”

“Answer you?” Taekwoon look up again and frowned.

“Yeah, I asked what was on your mind.”

“O-oh.” Taekwoon looked away, somewhere to his left. “I was— I was thinking about… The future.”

“The future?”

“Mhm.” He hummed his confirmation. “The future and— Something else.”

“What is that something else?” Hakyeon asked, reaching out to grab Taekwoon’s hands. Taekwoon simply let him, not moving to try to hold Hakyeon’s back. “Does it have anything to do with me?”

“Maybe.” Taekwoon murmured, licking his bottom lip nervously. Hakyeon laced their fingers together, humming as if in deep thought.

“I think I might know what the problem is.” Taekwoon shot Hakyeon a doubtful look, but Hakyeon ignored it and continued, “It’s because I haven’t said how I feel about you, right?”

“Not exac—”

“Because I  _ do _ have very strong feelings towards you, I haven’t felt this strongly about anyone in a long time,” Hakyeon continued as if Taekwoon hadn’t spoken at all, “but I don’t want to make assumptions, I don’t want to jump into conclusions and end up hurting you.”

“Hakyeon—”

“I want to make sure of what I feel before I say anything out loud and—”

“Hakyeon.” Taekwoon called, laughing, and Hakyeon clamped his mouth shut. “That was not what I was thinking about.”

“A-ah, it wasn’t?” Hakyeon cleared his throat, an awkward side smile on his lips. “Sorry, I… I guess I started rambling. Just a little bit.”

Taekwoon chuckled, smitten to his very soul. “It’s alright. I still appreciate your concern.”

“It doesn’t upset you?” Hakyeon squeezed Taekwoon’s hands, and now he held Hakyeon’s back as a form to reassure him.

“I won’t lie and say it’s not disappointing, but— I’m not upset. I don’t expect anything.”

Hakyeon narrowed his eyes at him. “Taekwoon—”

“I know.” Taekwoon smiled. “I know you will say that I should be more positive, but it’s the truth. I don’t expect you to feel the same way, and I won’t hold it against you if you don’t because I am aware that you have not asked for any of this. To push my feelings onto you would be unfair.”

“You certainly are the godchild of the Lord of Knowledge.” Hakyeon teased. “When did you become so wise?”

“Being alone for so long… It creates some detachment. I learned to be content with what I have, and realistic about things that are out of my control.”

Hakyeon grinned at him. “You’re going to have to teach me those, I don’t think I’ve ever learned how to do either.” Then, more serious, he asked, “If not that, then what is bothering you?”

“I’m not sure.” Taekwoon lowered his eyes to their joined hands, appreciating the stark contrast between Hakyeon’s lovely caramel skin tone against his paleness, his lithe hands on his larger ones. So different, and yet they seemed to fit like two pieces of the same puzzle. He almost laughed at himself over the helplessly romantic notion. “I’m not sure about many things, I— I don’t know what I’m doing.”

Hakyeon seemed confused for a moment, watching him carefully, thoughtfully. “Doing about what?”

Taekwoon rolled one shoulder. “This. I don’t know how to act around you, what to say, or— Or what I shouldn’t do, in case it makes you uncomfortable.”

“You— You’re really the sweetest thing, did you know that?” Hakyeon shook his head, smiling wide, bright, sunny. “I want you to act as you always did. Just do what comes natural, you don’t have to force yourself to do or don’t do anything.”

“What if I do something that upsets you?”

“Then I’ll tell you what’s wrong and you’ll know not to do it again. It won’t be the end of the world, Taekwoonie.”

“But—”

“And the same goes for you.” Hakyeon said, tightening his hold on Taekwoon’s hands in a silent plea for him to pay attention. “If I make you uncomfortable or upset in any way, I want you to tell me.”

Taekwoon immediately nodded to agree; Hakyeon could have asked him to fetch the very stars and he would have gladly agreed to it.

“We’ll figure it out. Figure  _ us _ out.” Hakyeon promised. “We’ll take this slow, see where it takes us. Good?”

Taekwoon blinked, those knots in his head easing apart and that weight being lifted from his heart. Hakyeon— He always seemed to know exactly what to say to soothe him, like he could read his deepest thoughts, understand him in ways nobody ever had before. Not only that, but Hakyeon so far had accepted every little thing about him, from his quiet personality to his strange Somniari abilities, and showed no sign of being at all scared or reluctant, wasn’t treating him any different.

Taekwoon was starting to question if he would ever stop falling for Hakyeon.

“Good.”

 

✶✶✶

 

Caimen Brea was not a large city, but was still as full and vibrant as one, being a bordering city. It wasn’t too hard for them to fit in, to join the masses walking the streets; just another group of travelers looking for a place to rest and resupply before going on their way.

Hongbin, the only one who had been there before, took the lead and guided them to the very center of the city, to the central market square, and, from there, to a discrete little inn hidden between two larger, colorful stores. Hongbin also took charge of arranging them a room, while they waited for him in the corner. Taekwoon was looking everywhere, eyes wide with curiosity, while Hakyeon simply watched Taekwoon fondly; Sanghyuk seemed bored, yawning openly and shoving his index finger under the bandages covering the left side of his face to scratch his skin, and Jaehwan standing next to him, glaring at him with disapproval. Wonshik could almost read his mind, hear Jaehwan’s voice in his head complaining about how that was no way for a prince to behave.

Wonshik liked this little group, he decided. They were so different, and yet, somehow, someway, they matched well with each other. Maybe it was all the running for their lives they’ve been doing, maybe it was the shared loss or a sense of companionship over their situation, but— He liked it. That makeshift little family. He wouldn’t have thought it was possible to feel this close to people who were, in ways, still as good as strangers, but there he was, ready to kill and die for them. Did they feel the same way? Was he becoming as important to them and they were to him?

He liked to believe so.

“Good news, I guess.” Hongbin announced as he walked back towards them, twirling a key on his index finger. “They had a big suite available, so we’re getting a private bath. And a couple’s bed, so that should be good for you two, lovebirds.” Hongbin said teasingly to Taekwoon and Hakyeon, both who blushed to their last strand of hair. Hongbin snickered and tossed the key to Jaehwan. “It’s the only room on the third floor, enjoy.”

“I call dibs on the bath!” Jaehwan announced, hauling his pack over his shoulder and making a dash to the stairs, followed by Sanghyuk who was rolling his eyes and fighting off a grin.

“You’re not coming with us?” Hakyeon asked, still with pink cheeks but looking less ashamed. Wonshik frowned at the question and turned to face Hongbin.

“I want to take a walk first, this place feels— I don’t know. Stuffy. I need some air.” Hongbin said, running a hand through his hair. “I won’t be long, just— Just a walk around the market should be enough. I won’t go far.”

Wonshik wanted to interject and offer to go with him, but he knew that Hongbin needed some space, some time on his own to clear his head. Instead of asking to tag along, Wonshik motioned to Hongbin’s pack, “I’ll take your stuff upstairs, then.”

Hongbin gave him a grateful smile and promptly slid his pack off his shoulder to hand it over to Wonshik. “Thanks, Shikie.”

“Be careful, alright?” Hakyeon warned him with a stern look.

Hongbin scoffed and nodded, turning on his heels to leave the establishment. “Always am.”

They quietly watched Hongbin go, only speaking again once the door had been closed behind him.

“I’m worried about him.” Wonshik confessed in a whisper, and Hakyeon looked up to meet his eyes.

“I’m worried about him too. He’s been— Distant.”

“I’m not sure what to do.” Wonshik lowered his head, hating to admit it but knowing that Hakyeon would understand. “He’s been much more open with me, but I know he’s not telling me everything. I know it will take time for him to open up, but he’s been so in his head— I’m concerned.”

“Hongbin hates admitting when he’s upset.” Hakyeon said, giving Wonshik a brief pat on the arm, something meant to be soothing; it sort of was. “He just needs time to come to terms with it on his own. The best you can do for him is be there for him when he comes back down. Don’t push him, just— make sure he knows you’re there for him.”

“Has anything like this ever happened before?” Wonshik felt the need to ask.

Hakyeon shrugged, hooking one arm with Taekwoon’s, who had, so far, remained quiet. “Not to this extent, but he has his moments. You can’t rush him when he gets like this, but he’ll get through it. Always does.”

“Did he talk to you? About the attack.” Wonshik turned to Hakyeon again.

“He did. He even apologized. I tried getting it into his head that it wasn’t his fault, but he’s stubborn.” Hakyeon huffed, resting his head on Taekwoon’s shoulder. “Once he gets something into that thick skull of his, it’s really hard to change his mind.”

“He really cares about you.” Wonshik shot Hakyeon a sideways grin. “I doubt he’d react like this if it was anyone else.”

Hakyeon snorted. “The only other person he’d react this strongly to almost losing is you. It would be much, much worse, I believe.” More serious, Hakyeon continued. “We’ll keep an eye on him. It’s the best we can do for now.”

“I guess you’re right.”

As if on cue, Taekwoon’s stomach grumbled loud, making Hakyeon giggle. Taekwoon ducked his head, embarrassed, but soon enough Wonshik’s stomach also growled, almost as if empathising with Taekwoon’s. That only made Hakyeon laugh harder.

“Come on, you two, let’s drop our stuff upstairs and come back down to get a warm bowl of decent food for a change.”

He didn’t have to say it twice.

 

✶✶✶

 

Jaehwan stepped out of the bath feeling much more like himself than he had in a long time, skin warm, the scent of one of his fancier flower based soaps clinging to him. He needed that - in fact, all of them needed that - after all the trials and tribulations they had been experiencing ever since the attack. They’ve had so little comfort since that a simple hot bath in a tiny wooden tub already felt like a luxury.

Leaving the small adjacent bathroom to the room they rented for the night, already clad in one of his fluffy fuzzy robes, Jaehwan found Sanghyuk leaning on the wall by the window, cutting slices off an apple with a pocket knife and eating leisurely. Jaehwan tried not to stare and most definitely didn’t have any thoughts regarding how ridiculously handsome the young prince was, with his laid back stance and aloof expression.

Sanghyuk noticed his entrance almost immediately, raising his eyes to regard him but not moving an inch from his position other than to raise his hand to his mouth in order to eat the apple slice he’d just cut. “I was about to break down the door to check if you hadn’t drowned in the tub, did you fall asleep in there?”

Jaehwan snorted and shook his head, moving to his pack to store away his belongings. “I didn’t, but it’s been so long since I’ve had a proper bath that I wanted to stay there for as long as possible.” He shoved his items in the pack haphazardly before moving towards Sanghyuk, holding up one palm to him. “Look how wrinkled my fingers are!”

Sanghyuk laughed through his nose as he chewed his apple, poking the pad of Jaehwan’s middle finger with the tip of his pinky. “They’re like dried plums.”

“I know, right?” Jaehwan giggled and stared at his own palm, entirely missing the lovesick look in Sanghyuk’s eyes. “I don’t usually stay in the bath long enough for my fingers to look like this. There was always something to do back at the Castrum, so I couldn’t afford to take long baths. This is very funny to me, pruney fingers.”

“Maker, you’re so cute.”

Jaehwan heard Sanghyuk mutter and looked up at him, surprised, but soon broke into a sunny smile. “You really think so?”

Sanghyuk ears were red and Jaehwan blinked at him innocently, waiting for the answer. Sanghyuk just called him cute and Jaehwan was over the moon about it, but Sanghyuk was also so cute that Jaehwan couldn’t feel self-conscious or flustered about the compliment, so distracted he was by Sanghyuk’s adorable reaction.

“Y-yeah, I do.” Sanghyuk mumbled, ducking his head and shoving another slice of apple into his mouth.

“Thank you! You’re cute too, Your Highness.” Jaehwan said, knowing he didn’t sound particularly sincere and only polite, but he meant it; for someone as tall and menacing looking as Sanghyuk was, with his scales that spoke of wild, untamed things, Sanghyuk was adorable like a kitten and gentle as a puppy. Were he not the Crown Prince of Nevarra and his employer, his responsibility to watch over, Jaehwan would likely be squishing his cheeks and poking his tummy.

...Although, judging from how much Sanghyuk worked on his body, if he tried to poke his tummy, Jaehwan would probably break his finger.

“Want some?” Sanghyuk suddenly raised the hand with which he was holding both the knife and freshly cut piece of apple, and Jaehwan jolted with the surprise.

He recovered soon enough, though. “I’d like some, thank you!”

Jaehwan was already mid-movement to reach out for the apple, to take it with his own fingers, but Sanghyuk simply pushed his hand forward, obviously intent on feeding Jaehwan the fruit. Jaehwan blinked, at a loss for a second, before hesitantly parting his lips, just enough that Sanghyuk could place the apple in his mouth. Jaehwan’s bottom lip definitely touched Sanghyuk’s finger during the exchange, but he was set on pretending not to have noticed it. It would be too awkward otherwise.

Sanghyuk noticed too, judging from the slightest widening of his eyes and the change of hues in his face, cheeks going rosy and making him look all the more adorable.

Jaehwan, still trying very hard not to react, chewed on his slice of apple and swallowed it, licking a little bit of juice that had stuck to his lips before smiling up at Sanghyuk. “Thanks.”

“Y-yeah, sure, you’re— You’re welcome.” Sanghyuk stuttered out, eyes lingering on Jaehwan’s lips for a heartbeat or two longer than absolutely necessary. Jaehwan couldn’t keep himself as unmoved at that, his own cheeks getting hot, too flustered to keep his eyes from looking downwards at the floor.

He couldn’t help but think back on the night of the attack - before the attack, when Sanghyuk had asked him to dance. It was something that popped into his mind occasionally, that question, the look in Sanghyuk’s eyes, a look that almost made Jaehwan feel like he saw him as more than just his nagging advisor, but as someone who— He didn’t even know. Someone precious, perhaps. It didn’t make any sense once he stopped to truly consider this as a possibility, but Jaehwan had felt something then, exactly as he had felt something just now when Sanghyuk fed him that slice of apple, something that was right in front of him, a word at the tip of his tongue but that he couldn’t quite form in his head. Maybe he didn’t want to know. Didn’t want to think about it. Didn’t want it to be real.

It would be wrong either way, wouldn’t it? Sanghyuk— He was still mourning his parents, his home, his old life. Any attachments he felt could be coming from a place of necessity, just Sanghyuk looking for comfort and company, looking for love in the wrong places, and Jaehwan just happened to be the one closest to him.

And there was, also, the matter of Sanghyuk’s mysterious infatuation, who very likely had also perished during the attack at Castrum Draconis. Whoever that was— Jaehwan was second-best. A replacement. And why wouldn’t he be, really, since judging from the parade of people Jaehwan had witnessed crawling in and out of Sanghyuk’s bed, he was clearly  _ not _ the prince’s type. He was just— Just the lucky sod who managed to survive the slaughter.

Jaehwan was leftovers.

The thought, for some reason, made his heart sting as if someone had dropped a bucket of needles over it.

“Jyani?” Sanghyuk’s voice startled Jaehwan out of his thoughts and forced him to look up again. “What’s wrong? You looked— Upset.”

Jaehwan promptly smiled and shook his head - smiling through unpleasant thoughts was a skill Jaehwan was glad to have. “I’m alright, I just got distracted.”

“Distracted by what?” Sanghyuk asked, swallowing the last bits of his apple and leaving the knife on the windowsill. Jaehwan glared at him when he tossed the remains of the fruit out the window. “Am I not interesting enough to keep your focus?”

Jaehwan felt his cheeks warm up and hated himself for it. “You do know that the only place you should put your head in is a crown, and not your ass, right? Because you seem to have forgotten that for a second there, Your Highness.”

He was expecting the prince to get annoyed at him and toss back another insult, but Sanghyuk laughed instead and took a step forward. Jaehwan instinctively stepped back, the angle a bit awkward; instead of moving away, Jaehwan managed back up against the window frame, Sanghyuk looming over him as if he’d gotten much taller in the blink of an eye. It was— Not off-putting in the slightest.

“I’m sorry. But— I know you were upset. I’ve been around you for years now.” Sanghyuk said, his eyes softening in a way Jaehwan had only witnessed a handful of times in the past decade. “Hiding behind a smile is not a good way to cope, but I admit I have always envied this ability of yours. I want you to trust me, though. I— I don’t want you to be sad, especially if I can do something to make it better.”

Sanghyuk looked so earnest, so eager to please, that Jaehwan nearly broke down and asked all the questions he had in his mind, but firmly reminded himself of who he was speaking to, before he ever even opened his mouth; that was the future King of Nevarra. It was not Jaehwan’s place to pry on his—  _ Personal _ affairs.

“Your Highness—”

“You don’t have to be formal with me, especially not when we are alone. Just call me Sanghyuk.” He asked, eyes sparkling as he spoke. Was he getting closer? Jaehwan had the most distinct impression he was getting closer. “Or Hyogi. I like it when you call me Hyogi.”

Jaehwan stared at Sanghyuk, eyebrows raised with surprised. “You do?”

“Yeah. You’re the only one who calls me Hyogi, so… I guess I began to associate it with you.”

“Oh.” Jaehwan blinked, managing not to look too disappointed. It was just the attachment talking, because Jaehwan was the only one there, the only link to his past, the closest he had to a sense of family.

Leftovers.

Sanghyuk frowned, and— Yes, definitely closer. “There it is again. What’s wrong? Was it something I said?”

“Of course not, I just have a lot on my mind and—” As Jaehwan spoke, Sanghyuk’s eyes suddenly shifted from him to somewhere beyond Jaehwan’s shoulder, outside, and without warning Sanghyuk grabbed Jaehwan by the waist with both hands and easily hoisted him up, only to put him down on the floor a few steps away from the window. Jaehwan would be lying if he said that demonstration of strength didn’t make him tingle under his fuzzy robes. “Wh-what was that for!?”

“I— Jaehwan?” Sanghyuk said, keeping a hold of Jaehwan’s shoulder as he leaned back to look out the window. “Is it normal for templars to stroll down the market in small packs in cities that are not close to any Circles?”

Jaehwan’s heart dropped and his blood turned to ice in his veins, shock hitting him like a punch to the stomach. Templars. Templars in Caimen Brea. Caimen Brea, which was inside Tevinter’s border, meaning that— Yes, there were not supposed to be any Templars there, for Tevinter’s Templars were few and they were all located further North, in larger cities such as Minrathous or Asariel. Templars in a bordering town to Nevarra meant that the Templars had come from the south, and they had no authority to enact any sort of punishment on Tevinter mages, which led Jaehwan to conclude that they were there tracking a southern mage.

“Jaehwan?”

Sanghyuk’s voice, stiff with concern, broke Jaehwan out of his panicked intake of a thousand thoughts per second and he swiftly turned around to peek outside from the corner of the window. A pathetic little  _ meep _ escaped his throat as he retreated inside, so fast his back hit the wall with loud  _ thump _ .

“Shit, shit, shit, they’re here for me,  _ fuck _ , they know I’m a blood mage, the cultists must have called for them and they tracked me down all the way here and the moment they find me they’re going to kill me,  _ shit, shit, shit—” _

“Jaehwan, stop.” Sanghyuk interrupted Jaehwan torrent of words, grabbing his hands tight and tugging at them, coaxing Jaehwan to look up. Jaehwan did, although his vision was growing blurry with tears, foggy with panic. He was about to throw up, he could feel it, could taste the bile on the back of his mouth already— “They’re not going to find you, I won’t let them hurt you, ok?”

“You won’t be able to stop them!” Jaehwan said in a frantic whisper, afraid to speak too loud. “Prince or not, they’ll just say I have you under a spell if you try to defend me!”

“ _ Breathe _ .” Sanghyuk said, firm, authoritative, and Jaehwan instinctively obeyed, clamping his mouth shut and inhaling a deep breath through his nose. “I won’t let them anywhere near you, ok?” Jaehwan dumbly nodded in response. “I’ll go get the others, stay inside and away from the windows.”

“Sanghyuk—”

“I’ll be right back, I promise.” Sanghyuk squeezed his hands tight but so gently that Jaehwan felt his heart shot up from the pit of his stomach where it had fallen when he saw the templars up to his throat. Sanghyuk’s hands were rough, years of sword training etched into his palms, and they were so warm, so  _ warm— _

Sanghyuk ran out of the room without another word and Jaehwan’s protest got stuck in his throat, hands stretched out midair in a silent plea to  _ please please don’t leave _ . The door banging closed startled him and he covered his mouth with both hands, turning to peek out the window again. The templars were a little ways away from the inn, closer to the center of the marketplace, looking around for a while only to look down at something in the hands of the man who stood in the middle. Something that was very clearly glowing crimson.

He felt so stupid. So incredibly dumb, so lacking of vision, and wasn’t that the kicker - an advisor who lacked vision. He’d completely forgotten about it, all about Circles and Templars and the ties that bound them together, the ties that not only connected them but that also made sure no mage who stepped foot into a Circle would ever be truly free, not even if the mage in question was the Arcane Advisor to the future king of Nevarra.

Whimpering, Jaehwan stepped away from the window, only to begin pacing from side to side around the room. 

It was only a matter of time. The templars would figure out the right direction soon enough, and once they did they would break down the door and drag him to the nearest Circle - which would be in Perendale, of all places - and give him the brand. But they wouldn’t give him the brand, why give the brand to a maleficarum with ties to the Royal Family? They would kill him. They would lay their eyes on him and bring down their enchanted swords and behead him right where he stood and Sanghyuk would bear witness to it all, and how would Sanghyuk ever recover from seeing Jaehwan, the last remaining survivor of his old life, be executed in front of him? No, that was an unspeakable scenario, he couldn’t let it happen, he should— He should walk outside and go meet the templars on his own, he should— Yes, he would give himself up, request to be taken away somewhere else if only to protect Sanghyuk from witnessing his demise. If there was no salvation for him, Jaehwan would at least make sure that Sanghyuk was spared any more traumas. 

He had his mind set, his plan clear, and was ready to step out of the room when the door was opened, missing his face for only a couple centimeters. Sanghyuk entered, followed by Hakyeon, Taekwoon and Wonshik, but stopped on his tracks when he almost crashed right into Jaehwan.

“Jaehwan—! What— Wait, where were you going?”

“Sanghyuk, you stay right here and don’t look out the window.” Jaehwan said, voice so strained he didn’t even sound like himself. “They have my phylactery and they will know to come here soon. I’m going outside, I’m giving myself up so—”

“No!” Sanghyuk protested, loud enough to startle him, grabbing Jaehwan by the arm and manhandling him back inside, while the others only watched at a loss. “You’re staying right here!”

“Sanghyuk, what the hell! You’re hurting me, let go!” Jaehwan struggled, wiggling his arm free from Sanghyuk’s grasp. When he met his eyes, they were faintly turning yellow. “I’m not going to be a liability and let the templars take all of us down, I’m going!”

“Oh yeah?” Sanghyuk mockingly challenged. “So as your future fucking king I order you to stay put and let me handle this!”

“Sanghyuk—”

“I said  _ no _ !” 

“Hyukkie, calm down!” Hakyeon said as he stepped into the room, placing a hand on Sanghyuk’s shoulder. “Shouting at Jaehwan won’t help anyone, we’re wasting time!”

“Didn’t you hear what he just said!?” Sanghyuk turned to face Hakyeon, cheeks splotched red with anger. Hakyeon didn’t seem fazed by it.

“I did hear it, and heard what you said too, so sit your royal ass down and calm yourself.” Hakyeon said, firmer than Jaehwan had ever heard him, authority he never noticed was there, and Sanghyuk, like a well trained puppy, plopped down on the bed, staring up at Hakyeon in silent rage. “You’re not going to give yourself up,” Hakyeon pointed at Jaehwan before turning to do the same at Sanghyuk, “and you’re going to apologize to Jaehwan for yelling and grabbing him like that.”

“But—”

“ _ Now _ .”

Jaehwan, head low, still could see enough from the corners of his eyes to watch Sanghyuk’s chest rise and fall as he breathed in and out slowly to calm himself. Without turning to face him, Sanghyuk murmured, “I’m sorry, Jyani.”

Jaehwan nodded, fast and a little manic. “It’s alright.”

“I— I just—” Sanghyuk stammered. “I can’t lose you, not you.”

Jaehwan didn’t have to question the meaning of those words, the emotion held behind them, when the door slammed open again and a tired, flustered Hongbin entered the room. “I can’t be gone for five minutes and there’s already a band of Templars coming to get you!?”

Sanghyuk got up immediately, shaking his head. “Nobody is getting to him.” He paused, looking over his shoulder at Jaehwan, jaw tense and eyes burning with determination. “I have a plan.”

 

✶✶✶

 

The phylactery in his hand was glowing bright, too bright for the mage they have been tracking to be far. He looked around, searching the crowd filling up the market for any sign of a mage - he’d never met this mage, none of his companions had, in fact. All they had was a phylactery and a vague description. 

It was their duty, though. They had become Templars to stop dangerous mages like this one from harming innocent people, and this mage was said to be a Blood Mage who had the prince of Nevarra, the only heir to the throne, under his thrall. They had to bring him down, one way or the other, even if that meant traveling all the way from Nevarra City to Cumberland, where the phylactery was stored, and then all the way back up, trying to figure out which direction to go having only the phylactery for guidance.

They had been at it for weeks already. Until a few days ago the phylactery seemed to be leading them west, and then, suddenly, it changed course and now there they were, across the border with Tevinter, somewhere they shouldn’t be - but they had to find this mage. 

Orders were to execute him on sight.

“How does it look, Kang?” His superior, Captain Hwang, asked, her tone impatient - with reason.

“Still bright, it’s not changing.” He answered. He didn’t want to be scolded again. “He  _ has _ to be nearby.”

“What’s the point if we can’t see the bastard?” His third companion, Woo, asked, sounding bored as he scratched his ear with his pinky. “Sure you’re not fucking something up, newbie?”

He scowled at the floor, biting his tongue not to tell Woo to go hump a nug. “I don’t think there’s a way to fuck this up, it’s a phylactery. Mage close, it glows, mage far, it doesn’t glow.”

“You little—”

“Stop arguing, both of you.” Captain Hwang sighed. “We’ve been chasing this guy for weeks, just shut up and do your damn jobs.” 

“Yes, ma’am.” Kang muttered. Woo only rolled his eyes.

“What was the guy’s description again?”

“Name, Jaehwan, surname, Lee.” Captain Hwang began, droning on the information she had already repeated about a hundred times. “Early twenties, tall in height, fair skin, dark hair, blue grey eyes. Notable characteristic is a large nose.”

“Large nose.” Woo snorted.

“Take the assignment seriously or you won’t be assigned anything at all anymore.” Captain Hwang warned.

Before Woo could reply, the phylactery began glowing brighter. “Captain!”

“He’s near!” She exclaimed, looking around in search of the mage. He also began to search the crowd frantically, and it wasn’t long until he spotted a figure a few produce stands over. “There!”

The man was, indeed, tall, broad shouldered. He was wearing a worn traveling cape, short enough to betray the robes underneath, those being of fine quality - fitting for the Arcane Advisor of the Prince. He had his hood up, but as he turned around he could see the tip of a prominent nose peeking out.

That was definitely the mage.

Without needing to be ordered to, Kang began chasing the mage down, followed closely by Captain Hwang and Woo. The mage seemed to notice he was being chased and began walking faster, forcing them to move faster to match his pace. A raven cawed loud overhead, distracting them for a second, and once they looked again the mage had gotten impossibly further.

“Go, go, go!” Captain Hwang order, impatient, and the three of them broke into a run, pushing people out of the way more roughly than absolutely necessary. He wanted to come back later and apologize, but that would likely not be possible.

They chased the mage out of the market and into a secluded side street, catching a glimpse of his robes turning another corner up ahead. They sprinted up the passage and turned where they’d seen the mage go, only to, again, only see a flicker of his robes turning around yet another narrow side street. With no other choice, they followed.

It went on for a while, the mage forcing them to chase him deeper and deeper into the city, down into the slums few people dared tread. It became quieter and quieter the further they went, less people around, their footsteps echoing back to them so loud they sounded like a small bronto stampede. 

Kang was really starting to get a bad feeling; something was not right. More and more that feeling grew stronger, the feeling they were being led right into a trap— But what choice did they have? They had to catch that mage, had to end the threat he posed to the nation, had to fulfill Knight-Commander Choi’s orders. 

He had to do something, though. He couldn’t  _ not _ try.

“Captain?” He called, receiving a harsh  _ shush _ in response. He bit his tongue again not to lash out. “Captain, I think we should—”

“ _ Shut up _ , newbie, we’re going to lose the Blood Mage.” Woo hissed at him, and Kang forced himself to be quiet.

They were about to get killed and all because his superiors didn’t respect his input. Wonderful.

Another sharp turn led them to a secluded alley - no way out other than the way they’d come, which also meant that there was no other way for the mage to escape, the buildings too tall for anyone to climb. Looking forward, the mage was right there, standing in the middle of the closed square, back turned to them. Waiting.

Kang swallowed a lump of fear that had lodged itself in his throat, praying to the Maker to allow him to make it out of that situation alive. He didn’t even care about the mage, didn’t care about the Knight-Commander, he just wanted to  _ live _ .

His two companions kept advancing, several steps ahead of him, getting closer and closer to the mage. He watched as Woo reached out to grab the mage by the shoulder, his jaw dropping when his companion’s hand closed around— Just a cape. No body inside, only air.

Kang whimpered and turned to run, but the way back was blocked by five hooded figures.

Stumbling back, he shakily reached for his sword.

The phylactery in his hand had stopped glowing.

 

✶

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> uuh that came out of nowhere, huh?? haha... hah... h...
> 
> as always, thank you so much for all the kudos, hits and kind messages!! if you want to reach me you can leave a comment here, or you can follow me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/ghostlike91) to keep up with my constant whining about writing or to get small sneak peeks and teasers of forsaken and other projects, or if you'd rather remain anonymous, you can send me your messages on [tumblr](https://ghostlike91.tumblr.com/) or [curious cat](https://curiouscat.me/ghostlike) (though i haven't been going to tumblr much lately, so if i take a while to answer, that's why) ♡♡♡


	18. Milk and Honey

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING the first scene contains gore, so you can skip it if it makes you uncomfortable! if you want to know what happens in the scene you can ask me about it and i'll summarize it for you ♡ i don't think it's necessary since it's mentioned later what happened, BUT just know you can ask me
> 
> enjoy!♡

✶

 

Sanghyuk was far from being a great strategist, but he’d learned a thing or two from the several lessons and tactical meetings he was forced to attend growing up. Even if he hadn’t, Jaehwan’s life being on the line brought out the protector in him, the one who could handle everything, go to any possible lengths to assure Jaehwan’s safety, and so he was quick to come up with a plan on the spot.

The only thing he needed to do was ask Taekwoon if Deceit would be willing to help - which, luckily, it was. From there it was easy to put his plan in motion.

All Deceit had to do was lure the Templars somewhere secluded, make them believe they were following Jaehwan. Meanwhile, Sanghyuk and the others would be tailing them, while Jaehwan stayed behind at the inn with Fear. Safe. Protected. Out of harm’s way.

Sanghyuk could feel, hear his blood pulsing in his ears as he followed the Templars, could feel the anger, the hatred towards those who threatened Jaehwan’s safety. It was only made worse by the dragon blood in his veins, that rage always skin deep and ready to surface at the smallest provocations, but Jaehwan— Anything involving Jaehwan was a guarantee that his fury would take over. Jaehwan was not only what was left of his family, his former life, but he was and always had been the most important part of it; Jaehwan was his everything. Jaehwan was his North Star, steady and reliable, always there to show him the way. Jaehwan was sunshine, no— The sun itself. Jaehwan was his reason to try and be better, do better. Jaehwan had his whole heart. Was his whole heart.

And nobody threatened his heart.

He felt almost like a predator stalking his prey as he chased those Templars. He was itching to cut them down already, put an end to the danger they posed, but it was deeper than that, and it concerned him; maybe he should have brought along some of those calming tonics Jaehwan made for him. It had completely slipped his mind.

Too late now. He would have to keep himself under control on his own.

Deceit led the Templars deeper and deeper through the city slums, the least traveled pathways and narrow alleys, and finally stopped after guiding them straight into a no end street, dark and forgotten, sided by the backs of buildings. No windows. No witnesses.

Sanghyuk fought not to grin with maniacal glee when one of the Templars turned around to run and was met with them blocking the only escape route. The way the color drained from his face, the terror in his eyes.

It’s what they deserved for coming after Jaehwan.

His other two companions took a couple heartbeats longer to realize the situation, and the moment they turned around to face them was the moment chaos broke loose and Sanghyuk finally let his urges take over, rushing the Templars with his sword gripped tight in his hands. He didn’t waste time on the first one, the one who was holding the phylactery. He looked young, maybe a little too young to be there, too young to know he was siding with the wrong people, so Sanghyuk took pity on him and finished him off quick.

One brief swing of his sword, aimed at his neck. The sound of metal hitting the stones of the ground was loud, the helmet heavy with a head still inside. He likely felt no pain.

The others, though. With them, Sanghyuk could take his time.

Wonshik and Hongbin had passed by him and were already engaging one of the Templars, the woman with the fancy cape - their leader, probably. Taekwoon had his bow and arrows readied, guarding the exit in case any of them tried to escape on Hakyeon’s request; it was the task that demanded the least exertion, and Taekwoon was, in his own words, better with arrows than daggers. Hakyeon, also weakened after his near-death experience, was standing at Taekwoon’s side, offering support in case something went south; this one was a request from Hongbin, who didn’t want Hakyeon putting himself in danger so soon after recovering.

So Sanghyuk rushed the remaining Templar on his own, which, for him, worked out just as fine. The man was a skilled fighter, he would give him that - despite the fear in his eyes, a result of the aura Sanghyuk was giving off through his Reaver abilities, he still met his first blow steadily, blocking it with his longsword. Sanghyuk growled, a low, menacing sound from the back of his throat and grinned. The man’s eyes widened with fear, and Sanghyuk wondered at what he was seeing. An angry man with scales, vertical pupils and sharp teeth, probably.

He planted his foot in the middle of the man’s stomach and pushed, following up with a hard strike with the back of his hand across the man’s jaw before he could recover and block. Sanghyuk dismissed his faithful greatsword, tossing it aside to the floor before advancing towards the man. He was tall, but Sanghyuk was a little taller and loomed over him like a vengeful shadow of rage. He hoped he was scared. He wanted that man to die screaming.

The Templar tried to get back the momentum and swing his sword at Sanghyuk, but he dodged it easily and grabbed his wrist, twisting it backwards until the man cried out and dropped his weapon. With his other hand, Sanghyuk wrapped his fingers around the Templar’s throat, his inhuman, dragon blood-fueled strength allowing him to lift the man off the ground.

The man whimpered and Sanghyuk’s grin widened, his blood rushing so fast it made his ears ring. He hated that Templar, he hated everything he represented. He hated that he was scaring Jaehwan, he hated that he was likely one of the Templars that took control of Castrum Draconis, his  _ home _ . One of the Templars that got rid of his parents’ bodies in the aftermath of the attack.

If he could kill that man a thousand times over, he would gladly do it.

He squeezed, heard the Templar wheeze, choke, gag, heard bones snap and flesh tear. He wasn’t grinning anymore, the smile replaced by a mask of fury, and it one quick movement, Sanghyuk slammed the man to the ground, never letting go of his neck, and rammed his other fist into the Templar’s face, over and over and over and over again. More bones crushing, tissues and brain matter squelching at every strike. Sanghyuk lost completely his sense of self, only killing that Templar, making sure he was dead, clear in his mind. He began pounding what was left of the man’s head with both fists now, aiming at his chest at times wishing he could tear out his heart, rip it away from his body and step on it, but the damn plate armor wouldn’t let him. All he managed to accomplish was to dent the smooth surface.

He didn’t notice he could taste blood in his mouth, didn’t notice he had begun to cry at some point, didn’t hear the voices calling for him. All he knew was the need to keep going, to make sure that Templar could never harm anyone else, that maybe through grinding that Templar to dust he would somehow magic all Templars away.

“Sanghyuk!” Hakyeon’s voice broke through the fog in his mind, sounding far away, muffled, as if there was a barrier between them. “Sanghyuk, stop, that’s enough!”

Bones crushing, blood splattering, he couldn’t feel his knuckles anymore but he had to keep going until there was nothing left—

“Sanghyuk,  _ stop _ !”

For all that he was angry, in a frenzy, whoever grabbed his wrist - Hakyeon? - did so with very little effort. Sanghyuk immediately stopped moving, panting with exertion, staring down at the mess of crimson blood and pale bones he’d left behind on the cobblestones.

“Sanghyuk, Sanghyuk, look at me.” Hakyeon’s voice was clear now, even through the ringing in his ears, and Sanghyuk shakily looked up to face him. Hakyeon was pale, eyes wide and obviously terrified. It was his fault. Sanghyuk was the reason. “Andraste’s mercy, you— What have you—” 

“Please don’t tell Jaehwan.” Sanghyuk mumbled, a whisper, voice cracking, wet around the edges. “Please.”

Hakyeon let out a heavy breath, letting go of his wrist, and leaned forward to wipe away his tears with his thumbs. “As long as you never do this again.”

Sanghyuk nodded, jerky little motions. He lost control. He couldn’t lose control. He could never know if he would ever regain control if he lost it.

“Here’s your prize, even if I’m not sure you deserve it after the whole— Disturbing murder scene you just pulled out of your ass.” Hongbin said and Sanghyuk turned to face him just in time to see him toss something his way. He scrambled a little, but caught it - Jaehwan’s phylactery, glowing faintly in his hands. “And you guys think I’m the crazy killer.”

“Hongbin, not now.” Hakyeon chided, one steady hand on Sanghyuk’s shoulder. “Come on, Sanghyuk, get up.”

He did so shakily, awkwardly, like a baby deer standing up on its own for the first time. It was like his entire body had been drained of its strength, like he had used it all to kill - butcher, really - that single Templar.

But Jaehwan was safe now. Nothing else mattered.

Looking around, he found that the female Templar was also dead, albeit in a much more dignified way. He looked away to the ground instead.

“Go on, go back to the inn, give the phylactery to Jaehwan.” Hakyeon instructed. “We’ll see what we can do about this mess.”

All Sanghyuk could bring himself to do was nod in acknowledgment and walk away, trying to ignore the way his companions were staring at him.

 

✶✶✶

 

Jaehwan took another deep breath and sat down on the bed, only to get up seconds after to continue pacing. They were taking too long to come back, were they hurt? Dead? No, Fear would have shown up in that case -  _ if anything goes wrong, Fear will go to you _ , Taekwoon had said. Fear was still outside keeping watch, so they were certainly alright.

What was keeping them, then?

He should probably take one of those calming tonics; those were made for Sanghyuk, but they should work fine for Jaehwan as well. He made them, so he would know.

The idea had only begun to form in his mind when the door was opened, startling him and making him jump as he turned around to face the newcomer - Sanghyuk, armor almost entirely covered in blood, eyes still glowing gold. Jaehwan immediately relaxed, a sob escaping his lips. Sanghyuk was alright, he was alive.

Jaehwan didn’t think - he lunged forward and wrapped his arms around Sanghyuk’s waist, face hidden on his chest, the plate of his armor uncomfortable, sharp edges digging into his skin, but he didn’t care about anything, not the armor, not the blood covering Sanghyuk, not about what was proper or professional. He was just—  _ Relieved. _ His mind was blank of anything that wasn’t Sanghyuk being safe, not a care in the world that he was crying like a blubbering child against the chest of the Crown Prince of Nevarra, showing him such a pitiful, weak side of himself.

Sanghyuk didn’t seem to mind, though. Jaehwan could feel his arms wrapped around him, tight, so tight, tight enough to shorten his breath, and it felt— It felt right. It felt good, comfortable, it felt like somewhere he could belong.

What a joke would that be - him, Jaehwan, an elven-blooded Maleficar, belonging in the arms of a prince. Jaehwan was a man of whimsy, but he wasn’t foolish enough to expect his life to be a fairytale.

It didn’t matter; at the moment, he just needed to feel— Precious. Dear. Safe.

“It’s alright.” He heard Sanghyuk murmur into his ear, breath warm and pleasant against his skin. “They won’t get to you, nobody is getting to you.” Sanghyuk’s hold on him tightened, the sudden pressure causing Jaehwan to gasp softly against the plate of his armor. “I’ll never let anybody hurt you, I promise.”

“I don’t care about me.” Jaehwan mumbled, tightening his own hold on Sanghyuk. He had to let go, but when would he have a chance to hug Sanghyuk like that again? No, he would let that embrace last just a little longer. “I was so worried you’d gotten hurt, and hurt because of  _ me _ , I’m sorry, Hyogi, I’m so sorry—”

“Shh, I’m alright, everyone’s alright.” Sanghyuk said, large hand rubbing gentle circles on his back. “Don’t cry, Jyani, I can’t bear to see you cry.”

“Look away then.” Jaehwan threw back, making Sanghyuk chuckle next to his ear, low and husky.

“Never.” Sanghyuk pulled away then, looking deep into Jaehwan’s eyes. “Are you alright?”

Jaehwan nodded, sniffling pitifully as he used his robe sleeves to dry his tears. “Yeah— I’m fine.”

“I’m so sorry for shouting at you earlier.” Sanghyuk said in a broken whisper that knocked the air out of Jaehwan’s lungs. “I’m sorry for shouting and I’m sorry for the way I grabbed you, I— I never meant to hurt you, I swear, I was— I was just so scared—”

“It’s alright, Hyogi.” Jaehwan managed to find it in himself to smile and Sanghyuk, vision still blurry with unspilled tears. “We were all on edge and not thinking properly.”

Sanghyuk nodded jerkily at him and, as if remembering something, he reached into the inner pocket of his cloak and from there produced a bright, glowing phylactery. “Here. This is yours.”

Jaehwan’s eyes went wide at the sight of his metaphorical leash and moved to hold it with trembling fingers. That tiny little piece of jewelry was all that tied him to the Circle, to Templars, all that kept him from being truly free. Sanghyuk— Sanghyuk was delivering Jaehwan’s freedom to him, handing it to him without asking for any favors, and Jaehwan felt a swell of emotion inside his chest that threatened to burst through his ribcage.

It was so small. A little vial of his blood, caged within a round, golden pendant. It looked so frail - all he had to do was throw it to the ground and shatter it, put an end to that threat once and for all.

Jaehwan gripped it in his palm, glancing at Sanghyuk at a loss. Sanghyuk only nodded to him, giving him permission to go through with whatever it was Jaehwan had planned, and so Jaehwan took a deep breath and raised the phylactery above his head, ready to slam it against the wooden floor.

Something stopped him in the last moment, though. His grip loosened and he lowered his arm again, staring at the phylactery in his hand. It— It didn’t feel right.

“Jyani?” Sanghyuk called, a bemused frown on his face. “Everything alright?”

Jaehwan didn’t reply; he only stared at the phylactery, thoughts a mile per second, of what it meant to have possession of it, of what it would mean to destroy it. The answer was clear, right in front of his face, and yet he was hesitating. He should destroy it, put an end to it, stop any Templars from tracking him down, but— 

“Sanghyuk?” Jaehwan called, voice soft, cautious, and turned to Sanghyuk. He stared at the phylactery for a moment longer, before raising his eyes to meet Sanghyuk’s and stretching out his hand towards him, offering him the phylactery. “I want you to have it.”

Sanghyuk was struck dumb for a second. “You— What?”

Jaehwan couldn’t help a little smile at the reaction. “I want you to keep my phylactery.”

“Why? You should—” Sanghyuk stammered, obviously unsure of what to say.

“I am your Arcane Advisor.” Jaehwan began, calm, a clarity filling the previous chaos that had been his mind. “I have pledged to serve you until the day you choose to send me away. I am sworn to watch over you, to keep you safe, but— I know, now, that you can keep me safe too. That this— This goes both ways. And this,” Jaehwan nodded at the phylactery still resting on his palm, “this is a tangible representation of that.”

“I— I don’t understand.” Sanghyuk was staring at Jaehwan as if he’d never seen him before, eyes wide, face a mask of bewilderment.

“This is me, placing my trust in you.” Jaehwan took Sanghyuk’s wrist with his free hand and pushed the phylactery into his palm. “This is my freedom you’re holding. I’m trusting you to protect it, not to abuse it, not to betray it.” He looked up to meet Sanghyuk’s eyes, cheeks warm with shame but smiling still, knowing that this was the right choice. “This is me telling you that I’ll always be there for you, because with this— You can always find me.”

Sanghyuk’s jaw dropped open with the words, his breath audibly catching in his throat. “Jaehwan— Thank you. I will treasure this.”

Jaehwan grinned at him, watching as Sanghyuk clutched the phylactery against his chest. “I know.”

 

✶✶✶

 

“Hakyeon? Wake up.”

Hakyeon groaned, curling under the blankets. “Five more minutes.”

Taekwoon’s soft chuckle rang in his ears. Music. “I’m sorry, you seem to be very comfortable. I want to show you something, though.”

Hakyeon sighed and grumbled something not even himself understood, cracking one eye open. It was still dark in the room, only Taekwoon’s silhouette visible. “Show me what?”

“It’s a surprise.”

Hakyeon sighed, raising his head from the pillow. “What is it?”

“Get dressed and I’ll take you there.”

Hakyeon groaned again and pushed himself up. Sure, he couldn’t deny Taekwoon anything at this point, but that didn’t mean that sometimes he wouldn’t rather—  _ Not _ indulge his every request. That bed was comfortable, especially after going so long sleeping on thin bedrolls on rough soil, and he was not keen on the idea of getting out of it so soon.

What convinced him was the fact that Taekwoon sounded… Happy. Excited, even, and Hakyeon had never heard that excitement in his voice before, so wasting the chance of witnessing the cause of that happiness just felt wrong.

“You’re lucky you’re so cute.” Hakyeon said, reaching up to pinch Taekwoon’s cheek teasingly. “Give me ten minutes.”

“Mm, I’ll be here.” Taekwoon answered, and Hakyeon could see his smile now that his eyes were getting used to the dark. Hakyeon couldn’t help but cup both his cheeks and coo at him.

“Ugh, so  _ cute _ .” Hakyeon smiled wide when he heard Taekwoon giggle again. “Try to get Hongbin and Jaehwan to sleep on the bed, after us, they’re the ones who need the comfort most.”

“Won’t be too hard.” Taekwoon deadpanned and it was Hakyeon’s turn to giggle, finally sliding off the bed to go wash in the adjacent bathroom and change his clothes to something warmer than the simple linen shirt and trousers he had on.

Usually, Hakyeon would take his sweet time getting ready in the morning - he had a skincare routine he always followed with the same religious fervor as the most pious Chantry Sisters - but under the conditions they were in, he had to make due with just washing his face, applying his milk and honey-based cream - the recipe homemade and passed down his family through many generations,  _ thank you very much _ \- and hoping for the best. He’d always been vain, attentive to his appearance, and working with his body meant he had to keep himself… Well, pretty.

And now there was Taekwoon too, and while he suspected Taekwoon didn’t particularly pay attention to things like that, he wanted to look pretty for him. And soft. And Taekwoon liked sweets, so smelling sweet was also a plus.

Basically, as long as Taekwoon wanted to be wrapped around him, Hakyeon would do his best not to skimp on skincare.

He tried not to think too hard about how much he’d been trying to please Taekwoon lately.

By the time he was done lathering himself in his lotion and properly dressed for the cold weather, Taekwoon was waiting for him on a chair by the door, the bed now occupied on one side by Hongbin, lying on his stomach and close to falling off the edge, and on the other side by Jaehwan, curled into himself in fetal position and mumbling something in his sleep. Hakyeon cooed at them, pulling the blankets over both to make sure they were warm before checking on Sanghyuk and Wonshik, lying side by side on the floor by the foot of the bed. They were dead to the world and still properly covered, so Hakyeon simply turned and moved towards Taekwoon.

“Do they know where we’re going?” Hakyeon asked in a whisper, and Taekwoon nodded in response.

“Yes, I asked them if it would be alright.”

“Will we take long? They’ll wait for us?” Hakyeon continued his questions, letting Taekwoon guide him out of the room. “Because we shouldn’t take long, we’re supposed to leave for the Plains early.”

Taekwoon chuckled. “Don’t worry. It should only take a couple of hours.”

“Hours?” Hakyeon blinked with the surprise it caused. “Where are we going?”

“I told you, it’s a surprise.”

Hakyeon whined in protest, but let it go; he trusted Taekwoon not to waste time with something that was not important.

He just held Taekwoon’s hand and let him lead them to wherever it was he wanted to take him, out of the inn and out of the city, into the wilderness. They were traveling southeast; it was all Hakyeon could tell from the position of the stars. 

Taekwoon was silent as they walked, as he often was, stealing furtive glances and smiling shyly to Hakyeon from time to time, and Hakyeon felt himself melt each time it happened. Taekwoon looked— Happy. His entire demeanor felt lighter, expression less tense, eyes brighter. More alive.

He couldn’t begin to fathom the pain Taekwoon had to endure throughout his life, all the hurt of not being understood, accepted, the constant burden of having to hide such a big part of himself in order not to be shunned, the fear of being left completely alone over something that was never his fault to begin with. That he’d shared his tale with Hakyeon, told him of his past and his sisters and his upbringing— Hakyeon felt honored that Taekwoon trusted him that much.  _ Loved _ him that much.

It still made his mind spin any and every time it crossed his thoughts - Taekwoon loved him. Was  _ in love _ with him. And Hakyeon— 

Hakyeon was a coward.

He felt strongly about Taekwoon, strongly enough that he could call it love and not feel like he was wrong. He remembered being in love, more than once, the most recent being with Wongeun - none of those times felt quite like what he was feeling for Taekwoon, in none of them did the sentiment creep up on him so stealthily. It had always been a slow build up, something that took him months, years even, not— Weeks. Less than a month. Much less if he considered the immediate attraction he’d felt when he first laid eyes on Taekwoon, the first time he heard his voice. That was the spark and each second he spent with Taekwoon afterward was the wind blowing underneath, giving life to the flames.

He was being held back by his own insecurities, not regarding Taekwoon, but himself. What if he wasn’t enough? What if he gave his heart to Taekwoon, let himself fall until he hit the cold hard ground, and just in time for Taekwoon to see he wasn’t that great? What if he broke Taekwoon’s heart? What if he was wrong and it wasn’t love at all?

And then, against those thoughts, there were the opposite thoughts. Thoughts of a future that seemed soft and bright, domestic and simple and— Right. Like… Taking Taekwoon to Rivain, introducing him to his family. Or embarking on a journey to search for Taekwoon’s sisters. Or simply waking up on a bed that was theirs, on a house that was theirs, to a life that they shared. Whenever those thoughts appeared in his mind, it didn’t feel wrong, it didn’t feel silly, it felt like… Like—

Lathbora viran.

Something he was missing, but that he never truly experienced.

He laced his fingers with Taekwoon’s and shifted closer to him, almost leaning fully against his arm. Taekwoon gave him a curious glance. “Are you cold? You can have my cloak.”

“No, I’m alright.” Hakyeon smiled up at Taekwoon, those thoughts of a bright future in his mind again. “Just like being close to you.”

“A-ah.” Taekwoon stuttered and ducked his head, the most adorable smile on his lips, bashful and giddy. 

Hakyeon licked his lips, staring at the forest bed as they walked. “Are you really not going to tell me where are we going?”

Taekwoon shot him a sideways look, only a brief second before he looked away once more. “If I tell you, then it won’t be a surprise.”

“Do I at least get a hint?” Hakyeon tugged on Taekwoon’s sleeve playfully, making him chuckle through his nose.

“A hint? Mm.” Taekwoon hummed, pensive, before saying. “It’s something you will like.”

“How is that a hint?” Hakyeon complained in a fake whiny voice.

“Alright, uhm… It’s something you want.”

“Your hints are terrible, Taekwoonie.” Hakyeon sighed, all but hugging Taekwoon’s arm as they continued to walk. “There are so many things I want! Can’t you narrow it down?”

“No, I cannot.”

“But—”

“When we get there, you’ll realize how obvious it was.”

Hakyeon pouted, resting his head on Taekwoon’s shoulder. “Is it something to eat?”

Taekwoon barked a surprised laugh, the sound making Hakyeon smile; so cute. “No, it’s not something to eat.”

“That narrows it down considerably.” Hakyeon said, teasing, only to make Taekwoon laugh again. It worked. “When we get back, I’ll buy you something tasty for breakfast.”

“You don’t have to.”

“I know I don’t have to, but I want to.” Hakyeon insisted, squeezing Taekwoon’s hand. “Let me spoil you a little bit, you almost died for my sake.”

Taekwoon didn’t reply and Hakyeon immediately knew he’d said the wrong thing; stupid, he was so stupid, why did he have to keep denying the real reason behind his constant doting on Taekwoon? Now Taekwoon would think everything he did, every action, every word, was out of gratitude or guilt when it wasn’t. He said it wasn’t, but how would Taekwoon believe him if he didn’t start acting like it?

It should be easy enough.  _ I want to spoil you because you’re important to me and I want to make you happy _ , that’s it, just the truth, and yet he couldn’t bring himself to even open his mouth. It felt like he was standing at the edge of a crumbling cliff, and he would either have to jump willingly or fall into the abyss.

Both of which were terrifying.

So he kept his mouth shut and tightened his hold on Taekwoon’s hand. It was all he could do since words were failing him. Just hold on to Taekwoon, feel him next to him, there, solid, tangible, unlike those fluttering feelings in his chest.

Taekwoon led them deeper and deeper into the woods, the leaves red and yellow, resilient against the changing seasons. The sun was just beginning to rise, bathing the world in shades of gold and pink, heralding a bright day ahead - it would be perhaps, even a little warmer than the chill of the past couple of days. Everything had a dreamy quality to it, and if he didn’t clearly remember waking up, he would have thought he was just in another one of his shared dreams with Taekwoon.

Which, now that he gave it more thought, had stopped happening. Maybe they would start happening again eventually, or maybe Taekwoon was still too weak to use his abilities for such frivolous things as visiting his dreams, but he missed it.

He didn’t have much time to truly give it much thought, for Taekwoon suddenly stopped walking. Hakyeon almost tripped with the unexpected pause and raised his head to give Taekwoon a quizzical look. “What?”

“Shh. We’re almost there.” Taekwoon whispered, and Hakyeon tensed up. Why the need for silence?

“Taekwoon?” Hakyeon called, unsure, but Taekwoon only gave him a small, reassuring little smile, and Hakyeon found that he would accept anything that was about to happen, even if Taekwoon was leading him right into an angry bear’s cave.

He sincerely hoped it wasn’t the case.

Very slowly, carefully, Taekwoon led them forward, one step at a time, into a thick wall of shrubbery blocking their path. Without letting go of Hakyeon’s hand, Taekwoon pushed the thicket aside to allow them passage, looking back at Hakyeon and nodding towards the opening, silently telling him to go ahead.

Hakyeon narrowed his eyes at Taekwoon suspiciously, playfully, but easily complied and moved forward, stepping through the shrubbery.

He stopped dead on this tracks, eyes wide with wonder, jaw slack.

Halla.

A small herd of wild halla, leisurely going about their business, barely acknowledging their arrival.

“You mentioned you had never seen halla before.” Taekwoon softly spoke next to him. “I asked Fear to find some, so you could see them before we continue our journey.”

“They’re… They’re so beautiful.” Hakyeon managed to murmur, still staring at the creatures in awe.

‘Beautiful’ didn’t seem like enough a word to describe them. They were— Ethereal. Fur pure white, horns like twisted branches of ivory, eyes shiny and black like onyxes. They looked like something straight out of a children’s story, not at all like the descriptions he’d heard - those descriptions were gross understatements, insufficient to truly express the grace and beauty of the beasts themselves.

Taekwoon made a clicking noise with his tongue, catching the attention of a couple halla that were closer to them. Hakyeon blinked as if waking from a dream and looked towards Taekwoon, just in time to see him crouch down on the floor and whisper something in elvish to one of the halla; from the size, Hakyeon concluded it was still in its infancy.

He watched the halla stumble its way closer to Taekwoon, who had reached inside his cape to produce a carrot from there, offering it to the creature. Hakyeon couldn’t help an incredulous chuckle.

“You brought snacks for them?”

Taekwoon looked up at him, tossing a cheeky grin his way. “Of course I did. Come closer, it won’t hurt you.”

Hakyeon swallowed down his nerves, the jitters, and crept closer to the little halla, lowering himself to the ground next to Taekwoon. The beast stared at him for a brief moment, but it was obviously far more interested in the food Taekwoon was offering it, eagerly biting off a large chunk off the carrot. Taekwoon chuckled and reached out a hand to stroke the creature’s snout. Hakyeon could only stare at the scene, starstruck.

Taekwoon’s smile, his relaxed stance, how his eyes were sparkling. Those visions of a bright future flashed through Hakyeon’s mind. Lathbora viran.

It was so obvious now.

Taekwoon looked up at him, that easy smile still on his lips. “Do you want to try feeding it?”

Hakyeon jerkily nodded and Taekwoon promptly took another carrot from his inner pocket and gave it to him. The halla followed the vegetable with its eyes, obviously interested. Hakyeon stretched out his arm, shakily offering the carrot to the halla, who approached him with little hesitation and bit the carrot like it was about to sprout legs and run. Hakyeon meeped and retreated his arm with the shock it caused, breaking into a fit of giddy giggles right after. Taekwoon only smiled at him, pleased, and handed him another carrot.

Hakyeon arched an eyebrow at him. “How many of these do you have there?”

“Not as many as you think, I assure you.” Taekwoon replied, watching as Hakyeon fed the new carrot to the halla. “I have only brought a few, four or five at most.”

This time around, Hakyeon didn’t get - too - scared when the halla ate the carrot he was holding. “You should have brought more.”

“Hongbin would have strangled me.”

Hakyeon let out a surprised laugh at the quick response. “You’re not wrong.”

“Try petting it.”

Hakyeon froze, staring at Taekwoon as if he’d suddenly up and turned purple. “What?”

Taekwoon, damn him, chuckled. “Don’t worry, I’ll protect you.”

Hakyeon felt the heat rising to his cheeks and pouted, turning his gaze to the halla still chewing the carrot and oblivious to his inner conflicts. “Will it let me?”

“Yes, it will.” Taekwoon said, lifting his own hand to, again, pet the halla’s snout. “See? It’s alright, it’s very friendly.” Hakyeon still hesitated and Taekwoon, noticing this, took his hand in his and carefully guided it towards the halla, placing it right over the plain of its snout. Hakyeon barely moved, eyes wide in complete wonder, staring at his hand on the little halla and Taekwoon’s hand covering his. “Relax, otherwise it will feel your hesitation. Halla are very perceptive creatures.”

“A-ah, I— I’ll try.”

Taekwoon’s hand lingered for a few seconds longer on his before he pulled it away, leaving Hakyeon to pet the halla on his own terms. He shot Taekwoon a dubious glance and sighed, turning again to the beast who was now watching him with mixed caution and curiosity. His heart immediately melted, a smile taking over his features, and gently he began stroking the pristine fur. The halla blinked and tilted its head towards him, enjoying the touches, and Hakyeon chuckled to himself, now completely engrossed on petting the halla. Everything about that moment was surreal. Everything about that entire morning was surreal, from Taekwoon gently waking him up, to the walk through the woods, to feeding and petting a halla. 

Taekwoon— Would a life with him be filled with such wondrous moments? It wasn’t the first time that shy, soft-spoken elf had completely caught him off-guard with the most unexpected surprises, in dreams and in reality. Dancing in dreams, talking to bears, taking a wound that would be fatal into himself only to spare his life.

Taekwoon did everything so— Fearlessly, despite being so insecure. He gave Hakyeon his heart without asking for anything in return, without knowing if Hakyeon would treasure it or not, and there Hakyeon was, tripping over his own fears and concerns when the facts were all staring at him right in the face.

“Taekwoon?” Hakyeon called, retreating his hand from the top of the halla’s head where it had been resting.

“Hm?” Taekwoon hummed, turning to give him attention.

It could have looked like something done out of an impulse to an onlooker, but it wasn’t an impulse - it was just something overdue, something Hakyeon couldn’t keep it in any longer. A cup filled with water finally overflowing.

He grabbed Taekwoon’s shirt with one hand and cupped his cheek with the other, pulling him closer without giving himself any more time to doubt. Taekwoon lost his balance and fell on his knees next to Hakyeon, who didn’t wait for him to get his bearings before pressing a kiss to Taekwoon’s lips, hard and a little desperate, but chaste, tentative, like a wish for the universe to be kind, to let them have that one thing without ruining it, without spoiling it.

Taekwoon went still in his grasp, holding his breath, but only for a moment - in the next second he was going completely lax, as if he’d been frozen and Hakyeon was the warmth eating away at the frost. The kiss lasted a few seconds, five or maybe ten, not nearly enough to sate that built up need in Hakyeon’s chest, but he forced himself to pull away regardless, face flushed with heat and eyes glazed with affection.

“I love you too.”

Taekwoon’s eyes widened minutely and a shaky breath escaped his parted lips, and he looked so beautiful, so gorgeous with his pinkened cheeks and liquid dark eyes. He blinked and swallowed, jerkily shaking his head as if Hakyeon’s words had somehow gotten jumbled inside his brain, and looked back up at him with such hope in his eyes that Hakyeon could physically feel his heart breaking.

“You— You mean that?” Taekwoon’s voice broke at the end of the question. “You— You don’t have to—”

“I mean it, I never meant anything so much, I— I've been meaning to say this for ages but I was so scared and worried about hurting you and I—”

“Hakyeon, it’s ok, it’s ok.” Taekwoon brought both of his hands up, cupping Hakyeon’s jaw gently, an incredulous smile on his face. “You don’t have to explain anything.”

“I’m so sorry, I should have said it sooner.” Hakyeon breathed out the words, a world lifted from his shoulders, finally deciding to jump of his own accord before he was swallowed by the ground. “I love you, I really do—” He pulled Taekwoon to himself again to press a second kiss to his lips before concluding by mumbling, “I really mean it.”

Taekwoon huffed a small laugh, still clearly not quite believing his ears. “You are maddening.”

Hakyeon couldn’t help a giggle. “We must be truly made for each other then, because you are maddening yourself.” Taekwoon’s smile grew bashful. Hakyeon’s heart was close to bursting with the amount of affection he had towards that elf.

Still grinning like an idiot, he pulled Taekwoon for a third kiss, this time tilting his head to the side to find the perfect angle to kiss him deeper, now taking his time to fully enjoy it. It was clumsy, as most first kisses are, but wonderful and right, and Hakyeon found himself already addicted to it, to Taekwoon’s lips on his and his large hands on his skin, so good, so perfect—

A loud bleat interrupted the moment, causing both of them to startle and turn to the halla who was now nosing at Taekwoon’s cape, obviously in search of more carrots. They exchanged a look and giggled, giddy and high on happiness.

“I get it, you greedy brat.” Taekwoon said to the halla, giving it a gentle pat on the head before taking another carrot from his pocket. Hakyeon just watched, smiling from ear to ear.

“Maker, you’re so cute.” Hakyeon squealed and Taekwoon ducked his head, giving him a sideways glance and pout in his silent of way saying ‘ _ stooooop _ ’. Hakyeon couldn’t keep in a squeak. “I’m going to combust.”

“Shush.” Taekwoon grumbled and took one more carrot from his pocket, handing it to Hakyeon. “Here, it’s the last one.”

Hakyeon gingerly took the carrot and offered it to the halla, who again was more than happy to accept the treat. “We’ll have to go back in a bit, right?”

“Mm, the others will probably be up soon.”

“Can we stay a little longer?” Hakyeon asked, looking hopefully at Taekwoon.

Taekwoon grinned to himself, shifting closer to Hakyeon and leaning against him to rest his head on his shoulder. “Yeah. Just a little longer.”

 

✶✶✶

 

It was so warm and comfortable around him. Soft and cozy. Jaehwan sighed, happy, thoughts stuck on the memory of Sanghyuk’s arms around him, enveloping him, keeping him safe from harm, and he mindlessly cuddled closer to the source of heat next to him.

In his sleepy, hazy mind, Jaehwan slowly began realizing that he’d been sleeping on the floor and that there shouldn’t be any heat sources around. Curiosity made him open his eyes, only to be faced with Hongbin, also opening his eyes, and lying way too close to him and— were they snuggling?

Hongbin seemed to reach the same realization Jaehwan did, for both of them stared at each other, wide-eyed, before pushing themselves away with all their strength and shouting with shock.

Jaehwan tumbled out of the bed into the hard floor, and that’s when he realized there was laughter ringing through all the shouting. He scrambled to sit up and look at the source of the laughter, finding Wonshik and Sanghyuk, by the foot of the bed, almost doubling themselves over at the scene. Hongbin, who managed not to fall off the bed, was glaring at them.

“Who did this and why?”

“No idea!” Wonshik said, taking deep breaths to reel in his laughter - Jaehwan really liked his laughter, that rumbling  _ hahahaha _ that filled the room. “Must have been Hakyeon or Taekwoon before they went out.”

Ah, yes. Jaehwan vaguely remembered Taekwoon’s soft voice and firm grip guiding him to the bed. He also thought he could recall Hakyeon tucking him in, but that could have been his imagination.

He was still thankful to them both, regardless of the awkwardness of his awakening.

“What’s wrong, Hongbin?” Jaehwan decided to tease, crossing his arms on the bed and resting his chin over them, a cheeky smile on his lips. “I think it was a pretty great nap we just took, you are very comfortable to hug.”

Hongbin shifted his death glare from Wonshik and Sanghyuk to Jaehwan. “I am going to tear out your spine through your throat, don’t test me.”

“Sounds kinky.” Jaehwan wiggled his eyebrows and followed the words with kissy noises.

Hongbin groaned, grimacing in distaste, and got up from the bed. “Ugh, it’s too fucking early for this.”

He walked around the bed to get to the bathroom, only stopping to give Wonshik and Sanghyuk audible slaps on the back of the neck, and slammed the door shut behind him. Jaehwan’s mischievous smile immediately fell from his lips and he turned to Wonshik with mild panic on his eyes.

“Is he really going to tear out my spine through my throat?”

Wonshik, still wincing and rubbing the back of his neck where Hongbin had slapped him, turned his attention to Jaehwan. “Nah, I’m sure he was just playing.” A pause. “I would still be careful, though.”

Jaehwan let out a little whimper and Sanghyuk chuckled, shaking his head. “Nobody told you to poke the angry elf.”

“He needs to cheer up a little, I was just trying to help.” Jaehwan pouted, finally pushing himself up from the floor and stretching his arms over his head. 

“Help, right.” Sanghyuk rolled his eyes.

“I am! I’m nothing if not helpful.” Jaehwan sniffed and frowned once he noticed something odd. “Did you sleep with gloves on?”

“No, I put them on just now. And actually,” Sanghyuk said maybe a little too quickly before sauntering over to where Jaehwan was standing, expression and tone smug, “if you want a cuddle buddy to sleep, I have been told I’m warmer than the average person. You know, because of the dragon blood.”

Jaehwan made a point to ignore how his heart leaped at the implications of that comment and scoffed instead. “In your dreams, Your Highness.”

Sanghyuk pouted, a little hitch appearing between his brows. “You always say that.”

“Because I’m not going to encourage your teasing remarks, otherwise I’d have no time to do anything else but be the butt of your every joke.” Jaehwan sniffed, moving away from Sanghyuk towards the corner where he’d left his pack; it was both with the intention of grabbing a change of clothes as it was an escape from how conscious of Sanghyuk’s presence he was suddenly becoming, more than what it usually was.

Giving in to his impulses the day before had been a mistake. He shouldn’t have hugged Sanghyuk. He was just sabotaging himself at this point, losing focus of his responsibilities, his duty. He was Sanghyuk’s advisor, not— Whatever he was starting to believe he was.

“You’re not, though? You never were.” Sanghyuk said, voice lilted with confusion. “Is that what you think?”

Jaehwan shot him an unamused glare over his shoulder before focusing on finding proper clothes for traveling; no robes this time, robes were the worst to travel in. “What else am I supposed to think?”

There was no answer for a moment, and Jaehwan thought -  _ hoped _ \- Sanghyuk had given up and gone about his business. He didn’t expect Sanghyuk to step closer, quiet as a cat, and stand right behind him before saying in a low timbre, “That maybe I was serious.”

Jaehwan jolted and turned halfway around, meeting Sanghyuk’s eyes. He found no mirth in them, no mischief, only— He didn’t know what it was, but it shot right through him like sparks of flame in his veins. And Sanghyuk was standing too close, far too close, there was not even room for his thoughts to align themselves properly anymore. And still, he wanted Sanghyuk to come even closer.

He hated himself for that desire. Selfish. Stupid. Irresponsible.

“Stop playing around and go pack, we have to leave soon.” Jaehwan mumbled, averting his eyes to the floor when continuing to look into Sanghyuk’s proved too much.

“Jaehwan—” Sanghyuk started but stopped himself. Jaehwan didn’t look up again, forcing himself to keep his line of sight entirely focused on the clothes inside his pack. “You’re probably right. I’m sorry.”

This time he heard Sanghyuk walk away, the sounds of his footsteps loud and clear. Jaehwan felt like he had just lost something, a flower shedding its petals one by one. Soon there would be nothing left for him to lose. He wasn’t sure that was a good thing.

He chose a simple shirt and trousers, done with it his selection at the very exact moment Hongbin opened the bathroom door, already washed and dressed for their journey.

“I’ll go downstairs get us something to eat.” Hongbin announced, running his fingers through the back of his hair to tame it a little; it was little things like that that reminded Jaehwan that Hongbin was a person like anyone else and not a gorgeous vessel of sarcasm and murderous intent - cute bed hair sticking out everywhere.

“Want me to come with?” Wonshik, of course, immediately offered and Hongbin shook his head, tone noticeably softer when he replied.

“No, it’s alright. You should pack up in the meantime, there are pieces of your armor everywhere.”

They all collectively looked around the room and, sure enough, there was at least one part of Wonshik’s armor in each corner. Wonshik had at least the decency to blush.

“A-ah, right. Yeah, I’ll do that.”

“I won’t be long.” Hongbin smiled at Wonshik and Wonshik alone, and gracefully turned on his heels to go procure them breakfast.

“You’re so whipped.” Sanghyuk teased under his breath and Wonshik made a garbled noise in his throat in response. Jaehwan decided he should probably get out of dodge before the teasing and bickering began, and hurried into the bathroom to get ready.

He didn’t linger this time, didn’t indulge himself like he’d done the day before for his bath. He washed his face, rinsed his mouth, changed his clothes. His hair was a mess but he didn’t bother combing it, just ran wet fingers through it to pretend he was at least a functional person. Judging himself presentable enough from the reflection on the old, cracked mirror hanging on a wall, Jaehwan gathered his things and got out of the bathroom.

Sanghyuk seemed to be ready to leave, already properly dressed and going over the contents of his pack - presumably to check if he hadn’t forgotten anything. Jaehwan caught a glimpse of his phylactery, shining bright red under Sanghyuk’s shirt, and forced himself to look away. It had felt right when he gave it to Sanghyuk, now— He wasn’t sure. Maybe he should have destroyed it after all.

Wonshik, on the other hand, was still fumbling around with his armor. He’d collected it all in a pile, and was now busy trying to get it all to fit inside its container. He was failing at it too, probably because he wasn’t storing it correctly. Jaehwan sighed and shook his head; Wonshik really was cute.

Making a point to go help him after putting away his own things - which at the moment were only the robes he had in his hands because he wasn’t a heathen who threw his stuff everywhere - Jaehwan moved to where he’d left his pack and carefully folded his robes, humming a random melody under his breath as he did so. All things considered, they were doing pretty good: they got to stay at a decent, warm place for the night, bathe like civilized individuals, were making good time on their travels, Jaehwan didn’t have to worry about Templars chasing him for the time being, their group was getting along well enough, the—

A sudden hiss of pain startled him, and he quickly turned around to search for the source of the noise. It was a very quick affair, since Wonshik was doubled over himself, cradling a hand against his chest. Jaehwan tutted and rushed over, while Sanghyuk only watched everything with a frown of concern.

“What’s wrong, did you hurt yourself on something?” Jaehwan asked, settling down on the floor next to Wonshik, who just nodded in response. “Here, let me see.”

Wonshik reluctantly revealed his wounded hand, an ugly cut on the heel of his hand, just under his thumb. Jaehwan grimaced at the sight.

“How did you manage this?” Jaehwan said, looking around for something he could use to stop the bleeding. Sanghyuk appeared to have noticed his intention, for he quickly rushed in with a clean cut of cloth. Jaehwan thanked him with a smile.

“My hand slipped as I was storing my sword.” Wonshik explained, face twisted in pain. “I guess I did a job too good sharpening it, huh?”

Jaehwan snorted, gently pressing the cloth over the wound to clear away the excess blood so he could see how bad was the cut. “Had your head in the clouds, guardsman?”

“I guess you can say that.” Wonshik chuckled, hissing again when Jaehwan pressed the cloth a little harder over the wound.

“Sorry.” Jaehwan mumbled, moving the cloth away to examine the cut closer. It was deep but not  _ that _ deep, the amount of blood a consequence of Wonshik having hit a little blood vessel. It should be very easy to fix. “Good news for you, you’re not going to die.”

“Thank the Maker.” Wonshik quipped. Jaehwan giggled. He really liked Wonshik.

“It should only take a second.” Jaehwan rolled his shoulders and, holding Wonshik’s hand on one of his own to keep it steady, placed his other hand over it, hovering but not touching. He took a deep breath, focused his intent, reached for the Fade—

And nothing happened.

He frowned and opened his eyes again, only to confirm that, indeed, nothing happened. Wonshik’s cut was still open and bleeding, which was— Concerning.

Jaehwan closed his eyes and tried again - tried again  _ very very hard _ \- and at last he felt that familiar spark of magic under his skin, tickling his fingertips. Something felt off, but he was set on ignoring it. It was nothing, certainly, just— Just a hitch. A phase. His magic was probably a little wonky due to all the stress he’s been under, it would go back to normal once they had a chance to catch their breaths.

Opening his eyes once again to follow the progress of his healing, Jaehwan was met with yet another oddity: Wonshik’s skin was— It was healing very, very slowly.

It was a minor wound, it should be a matter of only a few seconds. He’d done it countless times, it had never— it never took so long before. It was almost like what had happened when he healed Taekwoon only a few days back, but— Even Taekwoon’s wound, much deeper and much more serious, had healed faster than that little cut on Wonshik’s palm was healing.

He focused on his healing instead of giving the screaming concern inside of him any more fuel, and after about two or three minutes, the wound had been closed. Jaehwan swallowed and cleared his throat, smiling awkwardly at Wonshik. “I’m sorry, I— I must be out of practice.”

Wonshik smiled brightly at him and shook his head, getting hold of the cloth to clean away the remnants of blood from his hand. “You’re fine, you still did it. Thank you.”

Jaehwan could only duck his head, shy with the compliment, and get up to continue getting ready to depart. “Anytime.”

He almost crashed into Sanghyuk when he turned around, dodging him by a hair. He didn’t acknowledge what looked like jealousy in Sanghyuk’s expression, choosing to pretend it wasn’t happening - much like he was pretending his magic hadn’t just failed him.

He stalked away back to his pack, Sanghyuk following close on his heels. “Jyani?”

“Hm?” He hummed, non-committal, as he pretended to check his belongings.

“Are you alright? You seem— Nervous.” Sanghyuk said, and Jaehwan shot him an innocent smile.

“I’m fine. I think I’m still a little sleepy, is all.”

Sanghyuk didn’t look convinced, eyes narrowed at him in doubt. “If you say so.”

“Go finish packing, you don’t have to worry about me.”

Sanghyuk looked like he was about to say something more, going as far as to open his mouth, but he closed it just as fast and walked away, for Jaehwan’s relief. He thought he saw Sanghyuk fiddle with the chain that held his phylactery - like many other things that day, he chose to ignore it.

Luckily for him, he didn’t have the time to drown in his concerns, for the door of their room opened again and through came a giggly Hakyeon hanging on the arm of an equally giddy Taekwoon. Jaehwan arched an eyebrow and shot the couple a teasing side smile, at the same time Sanghyuk exclaimed a long  _ ooooh _ and Wonshik whistled. Taekwoon and Hakyeon stopped on their tracks and blushed up to their ears, but they didn’t look any less happy.

“I’m assuming you guys had fun.” Jaehwan said with a waggle of his eyebrows.

“A lot of fun.” Hakyeon confirmed and, after looking up at Taekwoon, he clucked his tongue and reached up to wipe something off Taekwoon’s upper lip with his thumb. “Baby, you got sugar all over.”

“ _ Baby _ ?” The three of them echoed in unison, which only made Hakyeon laugh and Taekwoon look down with embarrassment.

“Hakyeon and Taekwoon sitting under a tree—” Sanghyuk started in a child-like singsong voice.

“K-I-S-S-I-N-G!” Wonshik finished, equally childishly.

Hakyeon snorted. “Wrong, there was more than one tree.”

Another round of teasing whoops and whistles ensued, Hakyeon’s laughter drowned out by the volume of it, Taekwoon hiding his flushed face on Hakyeon’s shoulder. Jaehwan could only coo at the couple when Hakyeon wrapped a protective arm around Taekwoon’s shoulder and nuzzled the side of his head. They were too cute. They were the cutest couple he’d ever seen, even.

His eyes accidentally met Sanghyuk’s for a split second. Jaehwan was quick to look away.

“Why are you guys so loud?” Hongbin, having returned to the room carrying a tray with a milk jar, several loaves of bread and a little plate of butter, asked, a frown on his face. “I could hear you all the way from downstairs, shut up before they kick us out.”

“But they’re so cute!” Sanghyuk pointed at Taekwoon and Hakyeon. Hongbin looked at the pair and rolled his eyes.

“Yeah, I’ve seen them. Fucking adorable.” He left the tray over the dresser. “Come get your breakfast and eat, we should get going soon.”

“We’ve already eaten on the way back.” Hakyeon said, grabbing Taekwoon by the hand and guiding him deeper into the room, towards their packs. “We’ll just finish gathering everything, you guys eat and enjoy your food.”

“Good, I’m starving.” Sanghyuk hurried over to the tray of food, followed by Wonshik.

Jaehwan just laughed along and pretended to be engrossed with packing his own things, mind miles away and heart up on his throat. Something was definitely off with him; it was probably just stress. Just stress.

 

✶✶✶

 

The road to the Silent Plains was, surprisingly, a very easy one to travel. There was very little debris on their path, barely any trees and very few animals, like nature itself knew the dangers waiting just beyond. Sanghyuk would much rather be going the opposite way, and he would have already hit the ground running if he had that choice, but they’ve gone too far to look back now.

They stopped to rest mid-afternoon, near one of the few clusters of trees they found on their way, and Sanghyuk thought that was a good opportunity as any to get started on his offer to teach Jaehwan some basics of close range combat.

The same could not be said about Jaehwan, who was eyeing him warily as Sanghyuk retrieved his sword. He could keep that stink face on for as long as he wanted to though, Sanghyuk was not backing down on that idea - even if his hands were still hurt after his brief loss of control against the Templars the day before. His knuckles were swollen and bruised, cut in a few places where his armor dug into his skin, but he didn’t want Jaehwan to see it. Didn’t want him to suspect what had actually happened. Yes, Jaehwan could heal him, make the pain go away, but he would rather endure the physical pain than to have Jaehwan fear him. Than risk Jaehwan’s disappointment.

So he gritted his teeth and forced himself to suck it up.

Wonshik and Hongbin were napping under a tree, Hongbin curled up on Wonshik’s lap like an oversized child, while Hakyeon and Taekwoon were cuddling a little further away, sharing berries and whispering to each other. Sanghyuk was happy for them, of course he was, but at the same time he just felt so— Envious. He wanted to have that so bad, what they had. He wanted to have whispered conversations and giggles under the shade of a tree, he wanted to feed berries to his lover and smile and hold him like Hakyeon and Taekwoon were doing.

Jaehwan’s phylactery was light around his neck, but he felt its weight like gravity itself was pulling it downwards to the earth, there, present, the metal cold against his skin. Always cold. He noticed the phylactery didn’t warm up at all, no matter how much he tried heating it up between his palms. That Jaehwan had given it to him didn’t mean anything - at least anything he  _ wished _ it could mean. It was not done with the intention of being romantic, because Jaehwan— He wouldn’t. He didn’t have and never would have any romantic feelings towards him, and he had accepted that. Or, at least, he thought he had. Hoped he had.

He pushed those feelings down, just enough to pretend he was fine with it, and turned to Jaehwan. “Ready?”

“No.” Jaehwan answered immediately, like it was obvious. “This was a terrible idea.”

“We haven’t even started yet, you big baby.” Sanghyuk scoffed, rolling his shoulders and walking closer to Jaehwan. He had his staff in his hands and was clutching it against his body like a shield. “Come on, at least give it a try.”

“Ugh, fine. But if I lose any limbs I’ll make sure you lose a  _ very _ important limb as well.” Jaehwan threatened, pointing a finger at Sanghyuk.

“You’re not going to lose any limbs, I’m not going to hurt you.” Sanghyuk chuckled. “Get ready.”

Jaehwan groaned like a rebellious teenager and shifted his grip on the staff. Sanghyuk bit his lips not to laugh and stabbed his sword into the ground before walking closer to him.

“Don’t hold it like a bat.” He said, gloved hands reaching out to fix Jaehwan’s grip. “Here, space your hands like this to give you more stability.”

“Oh.” Jaehwan said, looking from one of his hands to the other. “This does feel better.”

“I told you, you can trust me.” Sanghyuk sighed, taking one last look to Jaehwan’s new grip to make sure it was decent, and, nodding to himself, moved to stand behind Jaehwan. “Alright, I’m going to show you a basic battle stance.”

“Isn’t it just about hitting people with a stick?” Jaehwan asked and Sanghyuk almost cooed at him.

“No, I’m afraid not. The stance makes it easier both to attack and to defend yourself. Here, keep your back straight.” He said, placing a hand on the middle of Jaehwan’s back, almost sighing with the feeling of his muscles shifting under his palm as he followed the instructions. “This should be easy for you, you’ve always had good posture.”

Jaehwan shot him a proud smile over his shoulder. “Thank you!”

Sanghyuk’s heart was booming like a war-drum inside his chest. He hoped Jaehwan couldn’t hear it. “U-uh, your shoulders should be aligned with your hips. You can stay slightly sideways, like this.” He placed both hands on Jaehwan’s hips, one on each side, and had to force himself not to let his mind wander. Jaehwan tensed up under his touch. Sanghyuk felt a painful little sting in his heart at that reaction. “Ok, uh— Now align your feet with your hips and bend your knees a little.”

“I feel like this is making me look a little foolish.” Jaehwan tried joking, but there was something in his tone that betrayed his discomfort. Sanghyuk removed his hands from him.

“You’re not, you’re doing well.” Sanghyuk said and meant it; Jaehwan was always a good learner. “You’re just too tense, take a deep breath and try to relax.”

“Easier said than done.” Jaehwan mumbled.

“You need to keep your muscles relaxed. You’ll lose balance too quickly if you’re tense, and your opponent will have an easier time bringing you down.” Sanghyuk explained, his hands moving to Jaehwan’s shoulders, thumbs pressing between his shoulders blades. Jaehwan, again, seemed uncomfortable, and Sanghyuk tried to ignore it. “Roll your shoulders a little.”

Jaehwan did as told, and once again Sanghyuk had to fight to keep his more inappropriate thoughts at bay, try not to focus on the way Jaehwan’s muscles felt under his hands, how warm he was even through the leather of his gloves. He wanted to enjoy it, knowing he might never have the chance to be so close to him again, but he felt the need to hold back at the same time. It wasn’t right.

“There, that’s better.” Sanghyuk said, faking cheerfulness. “Make sure the toes of the foot in front of you are aligned with the heels of the one in the back.” Jaehwan struggled a little with the directions, but Sanghyuk patiently waited and corrected him until he was satisfied. “Keep them aligned with your hips and your hips with your shoulders. Good.” 

“This is a lot to remember.” Jaehwan whined, and Sanghyuk knew he was pouting even if he couldn’t see his face from that angle.

“It’ll get easier with time, you just need to get the hang of it.” He finally stepped back, letting one of his hands run down the length of Jaehwan’s back as he did. Jaehwan tensed up. Sanghyuk swallowed the blow to his pride, his confidence, and walked back to where he’d left his sword. “Let’s get started, shall we?”

 

✶✶✶

 

The Silent Plains. Of course. He knew they would have to do something unsavory eventually, but he was hoping it didn’t have to be so soon. Hongbin had been in plenty of bad places before, but none of them was quite so literally blighted as the Silent Plains. He knew it would happen, of course, why wouldn’t it. He knew. He should have been more prepared mentally, but alas. Silent Plains. He could already see it in the distance, rapidly approaching, an ocean of ash and rock. Ugh.

At least Wonshik would be there, something that made any terrible situation more bearable. And Hakyeon, too.

Hongbin glanced over at his best friend, only to be met with the sight of Hakyeon clinging to Taekwoon’s arm and giggling in the midst of a whispered conversation. He grimaced.

Love was gross.

And, in that case, concerning for Hongbin. Maybe he was being selfish, but being selfish was a lifestyle that had kept him from meeting his demise so far; it worked for him. Regardless, Hakyeon’s blossoming relationship with Taekwoon made Hongbin antsy. It was simple math: Hongbin wanted to protect Hakyeon. Protecting Hakyeon also meant protecting his heart. Hakyeon’s heart was set on Taekwoon. Taekwoon was important to Hakyeon. Therefore, Hongbin would not only have to keep Hakyeon safe, but now also Taekwoon for Hakyeon’s benefit.

Not ideal.

He didn’t dislike Taekwoon, not really; he’d come a long way from when they first met in that department, but that still didn’t mean he would be jumping in front of any arrows for Taekwoon’s sake. Absolutely not.

But now Hakyeon was -  _ ugh _ \- in love with him, and that meant Hakyeon’s happiness and well being depended on Taekwoon being safe, so there Hongbin would go, extend, albeit very reluctantly, his cloak of protection over Taekwoon’s shoulders. It was stretched pretty thin already, being wrapped around himself, Hakyeon and Wonshik, but he would have to make an effort. For Hakyeon.

“Hey,” Wonshik’s voice caught Hongbin’s attention, forcing him out of his thoughts and back to the moment, “you alright? You look like you just sucked on a lemon.”

Hongbin huffed, shooting a glance at the two lovebirds a few steps behind them. “Close enough.”

Wonshik followed his gaze and frowned. “You don’t approve? They look cute together.”

The word ‘cute’ made Hongbin grimace. He was almost sure he could taste bile on the back of his throat. “Ugh, gross. It’s not that I don’t approve,” he clarified, turning his eyes back to the road ahead, “I’m just concerned. Hakyeon— He’s been through a lot, I don’t want him to get hurt again.”

“I don’t know, Binnie, not saying I don’t care about Hakyeon, because I like him a lot, but I’m pretty sure Taekwoon is in the most danger of getting his heart broken. He looks so innocent. It would be easy to hurt him even without meaning to, and he seems to be willing to do anything for Hakyeon, so— I don’t think you have anything to worry about. Hakyeon will be fine.”

“Innocence can be a weapon too, Shikkie.” Hongbin shot Wonshik a side grin. “I would know.”

Wonshik snorted. “I’ll bet.”

Hongbin only winked at him and turned ahead once more, all playfulness draining out of him as he halted and announced, “Here we are, the Silent Plains.”

They were standing over a steep slope of dry sand and pebbles, only a few hints of grass between the cracks, but beyond that— All grey. Bare, inhospitable, dangerous. Desolation and ruin. The scars of a distant past, death and pain and suffering etched into the earth, a grim reminder to all generations since that true evil existed and it was right under their feet. That such evil could return at any given moment, no warning, no reason.

“Well,” Jaehwan said with a huff, “this place sucks.”

“And we’re not even properly  _ in _ it.” Sanghyuk agreed, hands on his hips. “Do we really have to go there?”

“I’m afraid so.” Wonshik replied.

“Ah,” Taekwoon suddenly spoke, eyeing a little cave-like opening on the bottom of the slope, “ghast hole.”

Jaehwan, Sanghyuk, and Wonshik snickered like little children. Hongbin had to bite his lips not to follow suit.  _ Ghast hole _ .

Taekwoon, looking confused as to the reason of the laughter, continued, “We should find a better spot to get down there. I see wyvern tracks around here as well.”

“And I heard there are Maleficarum leaving in the edges of the Plains, since nobody would come looking for them here.” Wonshik added, looking around in search of said Maleficarum. Hakyeon gasped.

“Witches and wyverns and ghasts!”

“Oh my!” Hongbin exclaimed, sarcastic, making Hakyeon laugh. “We have our own Maleficar, I’m not too worried about witches of the wild. I’m more concerned about running out of water before we’re out of this dump.”

“We’ll figure it out, Binnie. We always do.” Wonshik said, placing a comforting hand on his shoulder.

“What are we waiting for? Let’s get going.” Jaehwan said, feigning cheerfulness, and together they walked around the slope in search of a better entrance to the Silent Plains.

Hongbin hoped they would have the chance to find a good exit as well; he didn’t want to die, but dying in a place like that was something he was definitely not keen on doing. If they died in the Silent Plains, he would come back as a ghost and haunt the shit out of those cultists for making them go there.

They were currently at the very top of his shit list.

 

✶


	19. A circle within a circle

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hewwo ´w`
> 
> first of all, for those who don't follow me on twitter and might have been concerned with the lack of updates, i'm sorry!!!! i was overwhelmed and needed a break from writing this story - weekly chapters are hard to get out and i've been basically living and breathing forsaken to get it all done in time, and it wasn't doing me much good.
> 
> but we back!
> 
> hopefully with no more breaks. i'm not sure, but i hope.
> 
> anyways, this chapter is very long, so maybe it'll make up for the lack of updates :<
> 
> enjoy!♡

✶

 

Taekwoon looked up and immediately spotted Fear and Deceit flying overhead, scouting their surroundings, searching for whatever it was they needed to find. He had the most distinct impression the demons were having fun - they were the only ones, really.

The Silent Plains were— Well. Terrible. Awful. The worst place he’d ever set foot on, and he’d been to the Anderfels, had walked those deserts and knew for a fact that it was horrible. The Plains definitely took the cake, though.

For starters, there was dust  _ everywhere _ . Not sand,  _ dust _ . Literal ashes that clung to everything and made breathing difficult, invading their nostrils, sticking to the back of their throats. They all had to wrap bandannas and makeshift cuts of cloth around the lower half of their faces, otherwise breathing was impossible. There was not much they could do for their eyes, having to squint their way around against the sting the dust caused them.

That led to the second worst thing about that place - they had a limited supply of water and couldn’t take a sip every single time they started to cough, which was, basically, all the time. They had to endure the dryness in their mouths, drinking water sparsely and only a couple sips at a time. 

The air itself was dry, stuffy, no trees around to renew it, which made the atmosphere oppressive and stale, too warm during the day, even during winter, and freezing cold at night.

Not to mention the damned dust got  _ everywhere _ . 

Two days into their trek to the Plains and everyone was ready to call it quits; it was impossible to survive in that place - unless, that is, if you were a spider. Or a scorpion. Taekwoon had lost count of the many scorpions they encountered so far, some as big as his fist, and he just couldn’t see himself getting used to those any time soon. How Sanghyuk would just swipe them aside with the hilt of his sword without a second thought was beyond his comprehension.

At least he had Hakyeon, and only that was enough to make everything bearable. Hakyeon was there, holding his hand, being an anchor when he began panicking at the desolation of their whereabouts. He was there to hold him through the night, share his warmth. He was there to whisper gentle encouraging words in his ear, remind him that they were together, that he wasn’t alone anymore.

Taekwoon had no idea how he hadn’t exploded into a million little pieces of happiness yet.

Still, their conditions were miserable; they were all miserable. Hongbin, in particular, was in such a sour mood he was snapping at the smallest things, even when it was Wonshik the one responsible. That said a lot about the state of things.

But Taekwoon still had Hakyeon. That made up for any discomfort.

The wind suddenly changed directions, deciding that they weren’t nearly as miserable as they should be, now blowing directly against them. Jaehwan squawked and spluttered, Wonshik stumbled back and Hongbin exclaimed a loud  _ ack _ , all of them promptly raising their arms to protect their eyes from all the dust that was now flying straight at their faces.

“I hate this place!” Sanghyuk yelled from the front of the group.

Wonshik had more of a presence of mind and raised his shield, pulling Hongbin closer to him so he could have that protection too. “Worst place ever!”

Taekwoon didn’t have a shield, but he could still protect Hakyeon. It would not be ideal and certainly put him in a position where he could fall on his ass, but making sure Hakyeon was as comfortable as possible in that hellhole of a place was more important, and thus Taekwoon turned around, now walking backwards, and positioned himself in front of Hakyeon; he would be the shield.

Hakyeon’s eyebrows shot up with surprise and he giggled, hands coming up to rest on Taekwoon’s hips. “You’re ridiculous, how will you see where you’re going?”

“I can’t see much of where I’m going anyway,” Taekwoon replied, making Hakyeon snort.

“That’s true. And I get to look at you like this.”

“You can see me under the layer of dust?” Taekwoon deadpanned and Hakyeon rolled his eyes, which crinkled and turned into little crescents when he smiled. 

“Moody baby,” Hakyeon cooed and pulled down the bandanna covering his face before doing the same to the cloth Taekwoon had wrapped around his own, hooking one hand around Taekwoon’s nape to pull him down for a quick, chaste kiss. Taekwoon could melt right then and there. “Next time we stop to rest I’m giving you a back massage.”

That made Taekwoon blush and duck his head; he fought the urge to hide against the crook of Hakyeon’s neck, but only because, if he did, Hakyeon would be exposed to the sharp winds. Hakyeon thought that was funny for some reason.

“How did you get so cute?” Hakyeon asked as he nuzzled Taekwoon’s nose with his own, laughter in his voice. “And how did I get so lucky?”

Taekwoon’s blush deepened, but he still leaned forward to give Hakyeon another quick kiss. “I’m the lucky one, ma vhenan.”

Hakyeon blinked, head tilting slightly sideways. “What does that mean?”

“It means ‘my heart’.”

Hakyeon’s mouth formed a silent ‘O’, eyes widening with wonder for a moment before he broke into a sheepish grin. “Your heart?”

“Mm.” Taekwoon hummed and nodded, nudging Hakyeon’s cheek with the tip of his nose affectionately. “You.”

Hakyeon sighed, wrapping his arms around Taekwoon in a tight hug that almost made both of them lose their balance. “Ma vhenan.”

The echo of his words in Hakyeon’s voice made Taekwoon shiver despite the stuffy, warm air of the Plains, and he took advantage of their new position to wrap his cloak around himself and Hakyeon, covering them, making a cocoon to protect them from the harsh conditions of the outside world. In there, it was just them; he could pretend for a couple of minutes that they weren’t traipsing around a scorpion-filled nightmare.

Hakyeon giggled, giddy, happy, and Taekwoon found himself smiling bright and wide, something he wasn’t used to - it was rare for him to smile like that, but with Hakyeon— It was easy. Hakyeon made everything easier. “We’re going to fall on our asses like this.”

“Probably,” Taekwoon easily agreed and, again, Hakyeon giggled. Taekwoon wondered how much wider could his smile get.

“Either that or Hongbin will come over here to kick our asses himself,” Hakyeon joked, making him laugh; a little more serious, he continued, “Taekwoonie, can I ask you something?”

“Anything.”

“Anything? Careful, I might end up asking about your deepest darkest secrets.”

Taekwoon rolled his eyes, fond beyond words. “You can if you want. I think you already know all my secrets, though.”

“It’s no fun teasing you, you’re too earnest.” Hakyeon faked an exaggerated sigh and, after stealing one or five more quick kisses, finally asked, “Why don’t you visit me in dreams anymore?”

Taekwoon blinked, not expecting that question. He thought it was obvious, but apparently not. “I— Didn’t think you would want it. We have reality now.”

“Why wouldn’t I want it, silly?” Hakyeon asked and smiled up at him, sunshine inside that cloak cocoon. “I love it when you visit my dreams. I always get the best sleep when you do, and—” Hakyeon paused, chewing on his bottom lip for a moment in a way that was almost bashful, “it’s a good way for us to spend some time together just the two of us, you know. Without the others.”

Taekwoon hummed, considering it for a moment, and, indeed, Hakyeon was right - they didn’t have any time to spend on their own without the others around teasing them or telling them to ‘knock the mushy stuff off’. Having whispered conversations with Hakyeon was good and he enjoyed the secrecy and intimacy of it, but he wanted to be able to talk to him without worrying the others could overhear them. Or see them. He was already self-conscious enough being clingy with Hakyeon, doing it publicly and in front of their four companions who were far too happy to make fun of them was not ideal.

“Alright.” Taekwoon finally agreed. “I can start visiting you in dreams again, if that’s what you want.”

“Yes, that’s what I want!” Hakyeon beamed at him, eyes sparkling; so beautiful. “Only if you want to, because it’s ok if you don’t and—”

“I want to.” Taekwoon interrupted him before Hakyeon started spiraling into nervous blabbering, as he had the tendency of doing. “I— Miss it.”

“Yeah?” He visibly relaxed, shoulders rounding, the hold he had on Taekwoon’s waist softening. “I miss it too.”

“Then I—”

“Hey, lovebirds!” Hongbin’s voice broke through their barrier, and Hakyeon, sighing, pulled back the bandanna to cover his mouth and nose before doing the same to Taekwoon’s. “If you’re not too busy in your love cave or whatever it is that you were trying to do, we have a bit of a situation.”

“More like a  _ shit _ uation.” Sanghyuk helpfully added.

Taekwoon finally dropped his cape, exposing them to the elements once more, and they turned around, realizing they had fallen a little ways behind the others. They jogged up closer to them, and the ‘shituation’ was immediately obvious.

“This is the worst place ever.” Hakyeon declared.

“Dust storm.” Hongbin stated the obvious, nodding at the far horizon. “It will hit us in a couple hours or so.”

Taekwoon sighed and whistled to Fear and Deceit to come down from the sky, the task of finding cover from the storm a more pressing matter than searching for long-buried secrets.

Definitely the worst place he’d ever set foot on.

_ Ever. _

 

✶✶✶

 

For all that Fear and Deceit creeped the living shit out of him, they were certainly useful - they were able to locate a large enough rock formation for them to hide behind and wait out the storm. There was just enough space for them to sit side by side against the rock, and they all quietly watched as Jaehwan set up a barrier around them with blood magic, bringing a magical dome of protection around them. Wonshik thought that, despite being illegal, Jaehwan’s blood magic was a big advantage to them; the spells were stronger and harder to break, for one, and in that Maker forsaken place it was a must to dispose of such magic.

They would be safe from the dust storm, at least; the only problem was that the barrier not only kept everything out - it also kept everything in. That meant no fires, since the smoke would kill them much faster than a dust storm would, and thus, they would have to deal with the harsh cold night air of that wasteland by huddling together like a small pack of hamsters and wrap themselves up in all the blankets they had available - which were not that many.

Wonshik made up for it by wearing three layers of shirts under his thickest gambeson; he could barely move his arms, but at least he was warm.

And so they sat down side by side, as close as they could be, all wrapped in their blankets; Sanghyuk was sitting on the outer edge, with Jaehwan to his left, Hakyeon and Taekwoon in the middle - as a unit since Hakyeon had Taekwoon happily nestled against his chest, sitting between his legs, all warm and happy, the lucky bastards - followed by Hongbin and Wonshik on the other end of the line. 

For dinner, as they couldn’t cook something, each one of them only had a cut of dry, old bread.

It was— Miserable. It was miserable. They were miserable.

“I’m so sick of this place,” Hongbin grumbled, giving his bread another bite and grimacing at how dry and hard to chew it was; Wonshik could relate. “Blergh.”

“At least we’re not out there.” Hakyeon nodded up at the shimmering barrier, through which they could see and hear the wind howling, the ash and dust flurrying rapidly outside. “Bright side, Binnie.”

“You’re honestly the only one who could think of a bright side in this situation and I don’t know if I should kiss you or punch you for it.”

“Eat your bread, Bin. Being grumpy won’t help.” Wonshik advised. Hongbin gave him a sideways look but gave his bread another bite.

“It would help lots if this bread didn’t taste like— I don’t know, this thing doesn’t even  _ have _ a taste. Ewrgh.” Jaehwan shuddered, expression twisted into one of utter disgust. 

“Ah, come on, Jyani. This isn’t bread. This is… Chocolate cake. With cherries and cream.” Sanghyuk said, eyes closed and a foolish smile on his lips.

“Alright, I think you completely lost it, Your Highness.”

“Ooh, I get what you’re trying to do!” Hakyeon said, visibly perking up and closing his eyes. He hummed for a few seconds before finally saying. “This is— Toasted garlic bread, dipped in red sauce.” He paused. “And tea. A blend of cinnamon, ginger, honey and cloves.”

“That sounds so good.” Jaehwan sighed. “I’d give my left foot for some tea right now.”

“What about you, darling?” Hakyeon asked Taekwoon, nudging his temple with the tip of his nose. “What do you wish you were eating right now?”

Taekwoon thought for a moment, half of his face hidden against Hakyeon’s chest. “Sugar biscuits and warm halla milk.”

“I know how to make sugar biscuits, I’ll make you some when I can. I don’t think I’ll be able to provide you with halla milk, though.” Hakyeon made a face.  “I didn’t even know halla milk could be drunk.”

“It can. It tastes a little sweet.” Taekwoon informed. “Halla milk cheese is very tasty.”

“Mm, cheese…” Jaehwan hummed - almost moaned, really, and Sanghyuk’s expression next to him was priceless. Wonshik had to look down to hide his amusement. “Smoked cheese and— Chicken pot pie. With more cheese. And a big glass of Chasind Sack Mead.”

“Isn’t that made with honey?” Wonshik asked, and Jaehwan grinned at him.

“Yep, it’s super sweet and it has a mean kick if you drink enough of it.” Jaehwan sighed wistfully. “Reminds me of the good old days in Cumberland when we used to sneak out to get hammered at the beach.”

“You— Got hammered at the beach?” Sanghyuk asked incredulously. “ _ You _ ?”

Jaehwan arched an eyebrow at him. “I didn’t  _ always _ have to behave, you know.”

“I’m— Shocked and surprised, but not disappointed.”

Jaehwan beamed at Sanghyuk, and the lovesick look on Sanghyuk’s face was so painfully obvious that Wonshik felt the need to intervene. He did so by clearing his throat and turning to Hongbin to ask, “What about you, Bin, what are you eating right now?”

Hongbin shot him an amused glance as he’d also noticed Sanghyuk’s besotted expression and answered after thinking for a second, “This is— Smoked ham from the Anderfels.”

Wonshik snorted. “Don’t those taste like despair?”

“Yes, and I eat despair for breakfast,” Hongbin said a little too seriously for it to be just a joke, but Wonshik decided not to think too hard about it.

Hakyeon suddenly piped up in a louder voice, “Did you know that in Orlais they have this ‘dish’, what was it called— Ah! Mad Burnard’s Gift of Flesh. It’s a whole wyvern, stuffed with a whole gurn, stuffed with a whole horse, stuffed with a whole halla, stuffed with a swan, stuffed with a duck, stuffed with a quail, stuffed with a bunting.”

Taekwoon grimaced. “Ew.”

“Of course it’s an Orlesian dish. Fucking Orlesians.” Sanghyuk rolled his eyes.

“What about you, Shikkie?” Hongbin asked, eating the remaining bits of his bread and wrapping his arm around Wonshik’s shoulder.

“My mom’s meatloaf. Maker, I miss my mom’s meatloaf.” Wonshik sighed, shivering and huddling closer to Hongbin. “She used to put a lot of garlic and herbs in it, it was so tasty.”

“I miss your mom’s meatloaf too, it was  _ so _ good,” Hongbin grumbled. “How is she, by the way? And Jiwon and your father?”

“Mom was in Hasmal the last time I heard, taking care of my grandmother,” Wonshik replied, a sad smile on his lips. “Jiwonie… Jiwonie got married earlier this year. She’s living in this little village near the border with the Free Marches.”

“Jiwon got married?” Hongbin’s eyebrows shot up with surprise. “But— She’s so  _ young _ .”

“Yeah, but she’s an adult, and she insisted.” Wonshik rolled his eyes and sighed. “The guy she married is a carpenter. Or a baker? I don’t know, never liked him much— Though then again, I wouldn’t like anyone who took my little sister away. Big brother complex and all.” He paused to chuckle. “But she’s happy. She writes a lot, all the time. She’s happy.”

“That’s good to hear, Shikkie.” Hongbin held him a little tighter, just enough that he was able to tell through the layers of clothes.

“Yeah. Yeah, it is. And dad’s still in Nevarra City, enjoying his retirement from the guard.” Wonshik finished. Talking about his family was starting to make him tear up. “Probably spending a lot of time playing Wicked Grace with his friends.”

“A game of Wicked Grace would be so good right about now.” Hakyeon chimed in, then chuckled, “Though I wouldn’t play against Hongbin, he’s a dirty cheater.”

“Am not!” Hongbin squawked as if the notion thoroughly offended him. “It’s not my fault if you have the worse luck.”

“We used to play a lot of Wicked Grace back when I lived at the College in Cumberland,” Jaehwan said, doing a good job pretending he was alright even if the tip of his nose was red from the cold. “Not much to entertain a bunch of bored teenagers in the dormitories there, so we’d sometimes play a few rounds before bed. I was quite good.”

“Yeah? You never told me that.” Sanghyuk said.

“You never asked, Your Highness.” Jaehwan threw back, cheeky, and Sanghyuk snorted.

“Next time we’ll have to play a round against each other. I’m quite good myself.”

“What’s Wicked Grace?” Taekwoon asked, voice muffled under the blankets he’d pulled up to his nose. Hakyeon laughed and pressed a kiss to the top of his head.

“It’s a game played with cards, dearest.” He explained. “I’ll teach you someday.”

“We didn’t have cards in the clan,” Taekwoon informed. He sounded sleepy; Wonshik wanted to pinch his cheeks. “We played with these wooden sticks. The clan’s craftsman would carve them to be smooth and straight and paint them different colors. Then we would throw the sticks to the ground in a small messy pile and try to remove one by one without collapsing the entire thing.”

“Sounds nerve-wracking,” Hakyeon commented.

“It was. I was very bad at it.” Taekwoon huffed and Wonshik was almost sure he was pouting under the blanket. “My younger sister would laugh at me every time I lost because I got so competitive.”

Hakyeon laughed and nuzzled the side of Taekwoon’s head. “Andraste’s mercy, you’re adorable, how are you so adorable?”

“Hmph.”

“Ugh, you two are so gross,” Hongbin complained.

“I think they’re cute,” Wonshik said, getting a sideways look from Hongbin. 

“I’m so jealous!” Jaehwan whined, clinging to Hakyeon’s arm. Hakyeon laughed, Taekwoon burrowed further into the blanket and Wonshik had to bite back the tired sigh that almost escaped his lips upon seeing the way Sanghyuk was staring at the back of Jaehwan’s head - like his advisor was made of stars and moonlight and other wondrous things.

Idiots.

“What, you want kisses too?” Hakyeon teased, lips already jutting out when Taekwoon raised his hand to cover Hakyeon’s mouth.

“No.”

“Are you jealous, baby?” Hakyeon’s voice sounded muffled behind Taekwoon’s hand but no less mischievous. 

“But I want a kiss!” Jaehwan play-whined. “Daeguni, kiss me!”

“No!” Hakyeon immediately blocked the path to Taekwoon with an arm. “No kissing my Woonie!”

“You guys are no fun.” Jaehwan sighed and settled back down. 

“I’ll give you a kiss, Jyani,” Sanghyuk said teasingly and stuck out his lips comically.

Jaehwan spluttered and squawked, “As  _ if! _ ”

“Fine, your loss.” Sanghyuk huffed and turned away like a spoiled brat.

“It’s like I’m surrounded by five twelve-year-olds.” Hongbin sighed and closed his eyes, hands coming up to massage his temples.

Wonshik scoffed, offended. “I didn’t do anything, I’m here quiet in my corner!”

“See, because you said that you’re confirming that you qualify for the twelve-year-old group.”

“You big judgy judge,” Wonshik grumbled.

“You’re right.  _ Eleven _ -year-olds.”

“Join the fun for once, Binnie, you might even enjoy yourself.” Hakyeon chided before cooing at Taekwoon who complained about being cold under his blanket.

“It’s really difficult to enjoy anything in this place,” Hongbin said, tone somber. “It feels like it’s sucking the life out of me each step I take.”

“The Veil is very thin here,” Taekwoon informed in the same subdued voice. “And considering the bloody history of the Plains, many spirits of Despair, Rage and Grief must be gathered here to feed on the echoes of the battles fought during the First Blight. It is surprising we haven’t met with any spirits yet.”

“At least  _ one _ of those hundreds of scorpions must have been a demon, come on.” Sanghyuk joked, bitter.

“Or one of those ghasts that tried ambushing us on the first day here,” Hakyeon suggested.

“It’s also important to remember that this is where an Old God was slain,” Jaehwan added. “I never met an Archdemon, hopefully never will, but a being so powerful is bound to leave an imprint behind, much like the taint that soaked through the earth here. This power, it— It’s  _ in _ the land. It’s all over, all around us, like— Like a fog.”

“That’s not very reassuring,” Sanghyuk said.

“At least we’re not alone here. We have each other.” Hakyeon said, firm, with so much conviction Wonshik felt his heart warm up. “We’ll get through this.”

They were all silent after this, all with their own thoughts, looking out at the dust storm still raging beyond the barrier, the sound of the violent winds the only noise breaking the quiet. One by one they began drifting off to sleep, Taekwoon first, then Jaehwan - which Wonshik was only able to tell because of the awkward angle Jaehwan’s head was resting on Hakyeon’s shoulder -, then, surprisingly, Hongbin, followed by Sanghyuk, and Hakyeon several minutes later.

Wonshik, however, couldn’t bring himself to fall asleep.

Sometimes, at the most random moments, it would hit him how strange his life had become - that was such a moment. Not long ago, a month or so, he was sleeping at the city guard barracks and patrolling the market square of Nevarra City, dreaming of a better life, a life of honor and servitude, a life that had meaning. A month ago he was helping Jimin with her grocery basket, thinking of building a future with her; a month ago, Hongbin was a distant memory, an old wound from his childhood that never healed.

He would never, not in a million years, have imagined himself being in a place like that, surrounded by his current companions - the Prince of Nevarra himself and his Arcane Advisor, a Dalish elf who could walk in dreams, a former Raider turned dancer and— And Hongbin. Of all those unlikely companions it was Hongbin the one he could believe was there the most.

And they were becoming so  _ close _ . Or rather, becoming so close  _ again _ . It was almost like it used to be when they were children, the teasing, the casual touches, the proximity, the— The love.

Granted, his love for Hongbin had never truly gone out - it was always there, burning low, the flames now regaining their old strength, surpassing it, brighter than they have ever been, and this time it felt right. It felt like everything was working in their favor. They weren’t rushing anything, weren’t acting on impulse, they were just doing what it felt right, treating each other the way it felt like they should. They were playing around freely, and talking a lot more about themselves, their thoughts, sharing their troubles, relying on each other. Hongbin had changed, yes, but he didn’t feel like a stranger anymore. It was his Hongbin, but a grown-up Hongbin, with a different mind but the same heart.

What would happen after their quest to stop these cultists was over? Would they just go their separate ways again? No, certainly they would not. Not this time, this time was different. Not just Hongbin, even, but all of them - the amount of terrible, painful, exciting and wonderful experiences they were having together, after all of that it would make no sense for them to just say their goodbyes and never see or speak to one another ever again. They were all so close now. So tightly-knit.

Wonshik would like to have met them all under different circumstances. Lighter circumstances, happier ones - but if not for the tragedy they faced, the coincidences that brought them together, they would never have met at all.

Nonetheless, he would like to spend time with them in a better time. Have a calm picnic, even. Or go to a tavern with the only intention of getting drunk and being a nuisance, no worries in their minds related to Old Gods or cultists or the throne of Nevarra. He wanted to play cards with Hakyeon. He wanted to tell a joke to Taekwoon and hear him laugh loud and freely. He wanted to listen to Jaehwan’s tales and knowledge of many things. He wanted to go out drinking with Sanghyuk, maybe even take him to the barracks to play some pranks on the other guards. He wanted— He wanted to kiss Hongbin under the lanterns hanging from the vhenadahl, under the stars. 

A movement next to him broke him from his reverie, and he looked down to see Hongbin rubbing one of his eyes like a sleepy child.

“Mnh, what are you doing up?” Hongbin slurred, face puffy with sleep; Wonshik wanted to squish him. “You should get some sleep.”

“I know, I— Too many thoughts.” Wonshik’s answer sounded lame even to himself, but it wasn’t exactly a lie - his thoughts truly were the reason he hadn’t fallen asleep yet. “And the dust storm—”

“The dust storm is outside,” Hongbin interrupted, shifting next to him, sitting up straighter. “There’s a blood magic barrier around us, we’re fine.”

“But—”

“No ‘but’, com’ere,” Hongbin mumbled, gesturing with one arm for Wonshik to come closer. Wonshik hesitated but obliged, and thanks to this he found himself being dragged over to snuggle against Hongbin’s side, Hongbin’s arm wrapped tight around his shoulders making it impossible for him to escape. Hongbin’s hands were small and he looked delicate, but there was nothing weak about him. “You keep bugging me to sleep, you have to sleep too.”

“What if something tries to attack us?” Wonshik insisted, and Hongbin arched a judgmental eyebrow at him.

“In the middle of a dust storm? Unlikely. Besides, we have two demons.” Hongbin indicated Fear and Deceit with his head, just sitting atop their baggage pile. “They don’t sleep and they’re on our side, if I remember what you said. They’re keeping guard, you can sleep.”

“But Hongbin—”

“Shh, relax, bunny.” Hongbin sighed, resting his head on top of Wonshik’s. The little pet name struck him speechless for a few seconds, mind coming to a screeching halt.

“You— Did you just call me  _ bunny _ ?”

“Mm?” Hongbin blinked blearily down at him, processing the question, then smirked. “Yes. What about it?”

“You— You called me  _ bunny _ .”

“Yes, I thought that was established.”

“I can’t quite believe it, am I dreaming?”

Hongbin snorted, smirk widening with his increased amusement. “No, you’re not dreaming.”

Wonshik craned his neck, trying to see if any of the others were awake to confirm what his ears had heard, but they were all sound asleep. “Why isn’t anyone awake when I need them!?”

“You know the best part about it?” Hongbin asked, grinning like the cat who got the canary. “Even if you tell them, they’ll never believe you, honeybunch.”

“ _ Honeybunch? _ ” Wonshik echoed in a distressed whisper. “Who are you!?”

Hongbin giggled, mischievous and gorgeous, and pulled Wonshik back to settle against him. “Don’t think about it too hard. I’m sleepy and not filtering the words right, is all. Go to sleep, muffin.”

“Now you’re just fucking with me.” Wonshik sighed, begrudgingly cuddling up against Hongbin’s side.

“Mm, that sounds like a good idea.” Hongbin purred and it was good that he couldn’t see his face from that angle because Wonshik was absolutely certain he was glowing red.

“That’s more like you,” Wonshik grumbled, Hongbin’s breath rustling his hair as he laughed, low and deep. Wonshik shuddered and covered it up by snuggling even closer to Hongbin to pretend he was just cold.

“So grouchy.” Hongbin clucked his tongue just as he began carding his fingers through Wonshik’s hair. “Sleep, sweetpea.”

“You’re right, nobody would believe this.”

“ _ Sleep _ . You’re safe with me.”

Wonshik sighed and turned his face towards Hongbin’s chest, snuffling like a needy puppy before settling down and relaxing, already feeling sleep starting to creep up on the edges of his mind.

“I know.”

 

✶✶✶

 

It was still dark and the wind was still howling outside, the shimmering barrier the only light source when Sanghyuk opened his eyes, neck stiff from the uncomfortable position he’d fallen asleep in. Sleeping while sitting down against a hard jagged rock formation was not something he would recommend.

He groaned as he rolled his shoulders, trying to loosen up his joints at least the smallest bit to be comfortable, but comfort wasn’t something he expected to find in that place; none of them did. They were there, though, and so he would have to suck it up and make the best of it. He remembered Jaehwan saying something to him the day before they started traveling, something about how he wasn’t used to living without comfort and that he would find how difficult it was to get by without his luxuries. He hated to admit, but Jaehwan was right. Jaehwan was right most of the time, in fact.

He looked over to his side, finding Jaehwan curled up against Hakyeon’s arm, deep asleep and looking peaceful. He wanted to draw him into his arms, cradle him against his chest and hold him while he slept. Keep him safe. Sanghyuk unconsciously brought a hand up to the golden chain around his neck, the chain that held Jaehwan’s phylactery. It had to mean something. Surely, it had to mean something.

He was wearing Jaehwan’s freedom around his neck, the vial of blood resting against his chest, right over his heart. If the Circle was a cage, then Jaehwan had given Sanghyuk the only key.

It just  _ had _ to mean something. It couldn’t be just— A contract. A demonstration of trust, of loyalty. 

And yet, Jaehwan’s reaction to being touched by him wouldn’t leave his brain. Jaehwan— Recoiled. He flinched, he jerked away, he obviously didn’t want to be close to Sanghyuk, not physically. Was it the scales? Were they the problem? He moved his fingers up to the scales on the side of his neck, unable to feel their texture as he was wearing gloves to hide his still very bruised, very damaged knuckles, but he understood that they could be off-putting to some. Was Jaehwan one of that some? Or was it just Sanghyuk the problem, scales or no?

He looked down, fishing the phylactery from the inside of his shirt and staring at it for a moment. Such a tiny thing to hold so grand a meaning - if he even knew what the meaning was.

He didn’t want to suspect Jaehwan, not again; he had suspected him for a couple days after the attack and that felt— Awful. Like suspecting his own heart for beating out of time. He didn’t want to think Jaehwan could have ulterior motives, that he was trying to earn Sanghyuk’s trust to stab him in the back. If he was, then— Sanghyuk would rather die thinking Jaehwan was innocent. It hurt enough knowing that Jaehwan didn’t want to be near him.

The bright glow of the phylactery caused Jaehwan to make a small noise and turn away next to him, hiding his face on Hakyeon’s arm to escape the light, and Sanghyuk cursed under his breath and let the pendant fall down his collar again, darkness taking its place once more. Jaehwan snuffled but, ultimately, didn’t wake up, and Sanghyuk let out a sigh of relief.

He wanted to tell him so bad. His feelings for Jaehwan were to the point of exploding, bursting out of him over the sheer pressure of trying to contain them, but how could he do that? Jaehwan— Jaehwan didn’t want him. Jaehwan wanted— Maybe someone like Taekwoon. Maybe someone like Wonshik. Not him, for whatever reasons Jaehwan had not to want him; he would be the first to admit that he had ruined everything by himself, by teasing Jaehwan and trying to provoke him into falling in love with him instead of actually behaving like someone worthy of falling for.

Was it too late to do that?

Maybe not - it was never too late to start treating someone the way they deserve to be treated, right? Yes, he would be— Kinder. Gentler, watch over Jaehwan better, not impose himself on him and try to get his attention by acting like a child. Even if Jaehwan didn’t fall for him in the end, he wanted him to be happy. He wanted to treat him right.

He wanted Jaehwan to stop seeing him as a kid he was responsible for, stop seeing him as an annoying little brother, and start seeing him as a man who was fit to be king. A man who could do right by him, a man that didn’t need the amount of protection Jaehwan insisted on placing upon and that could give him that protection instead. Sanghyuk— He was not a child. He might have been when they met, maybe he even was one still at the night of the attack, not in body but in mind. He wasn’t that person anymore, he wasn’t— He wasn’t the Prince. He was the King.

He just hadn’t gotten his crown back yet.

Being king was never truly something he saw himself doing - it had always felt like a faraway concept, just the word ‘someday’ told to him over and over instead of an immediate reality, but he  _ was _ the King. He was the King of Nevarra, and while he had fought tooth and nail not to think about it, it was time for him to accept his new status and do the best he could with it. Being king meant making the hard choices for the betterment of the nation; it was what his father told him once, long ago.

He had to practice making hard choices, and his feelings for Jaehwan seemed like a good place to start. He had to start choosing what was best for Jaehwan, instead of what was best for himself.

Even if that meant letting Jaehwan go.

It pained him to even consider, but— It was the best for Jaehwan. Jaehwan deserved so much, Jaehwan deserved— He deserved happiness beyond compare, he deserved to be loved, deserved a fairytale-worthy romance. It was time for Sanghyuk to admit that maybe he wasn’t the one who would - could - provide him with that.

It was obvious even in the way Jaehwan was sleeping, completely turned to Hakyeon as if trying to put distance between himself and Sanghyuk, and— It felt like thousands of needles piercing through his heart to realize that. So the first order of business would be to… Back off. Not follow him around or stick to him like a duckling after its mother. He would be courteous and polite, and he would treat Jaehwan well.

He would make sure he was safe and cared for, but he would give him space. Maybe that’s what he was doing wrong.

Sanghyuk looked up and sighed; the storm seemed to be growing weaker. It would be a couple of hours more, at least, until it cleared. He didn’t even want to begin to imagine how much worse it would get to travel after the dust storm - they would likely look like wandering snowmen, except instead of being made of snow they’d be made of ash and dirt.

He let out a dejected groan and almost jumped out of his skin when someone spoke, “What are you doing up?”

“H-hongbin?”

“Yeah,” Hongbin whispered back and Sanghyuk leaned forward just in time to see Hongbin gently untangling himself from Wonshik’s limbs and fix his position against the rock. “You should be sleeping.”

“I slept,” Sanghyuk answered, and he sounded like a child to himself; that’s the kind of behavior he would have to fix in the coming future. “What are  _ you _ doing up?”

“My back is killing me, I need to stretch,” Hongbin said just as he pushed himself up, grimacing when his spine cracked in several places. “Ugh, being alive fucking sucks right now.”

“I’m right up there with you on this one.” Sanghyuk agreed, placing both hands on the ground to help himself up, but the moment he put some pressure on them he immediately hissed and let himself fall sitting again.

Hongbin arched an eyebrow at him, eyes narrowed in suspicion, and approached to offer Sanghyuk a hand. Sanghyuk eyed him warily since it was— Well.  _ Hongbin _ . He relented, though, and accepted the help; they would have to take the first step into more friendly territory eventually. Hongbin grabbed him by the wrist and hoisted him up before brusquely pulling him away from the others, closer to where they had left their packs.

“Hands,” Hongbin said once he finally let him go.

“E-excuse me?”

“Show me your hands, Golden Prick.” Hongbin snapped at him, gesturing impatiently towards Sanghyuk’s gloved hands.

Sanghyuk ducked his head, the tips of his ears feeling uncomfortably warm, but he did what Hongbin said before he did so by force; he wouldn’t put it past Hongbin. Carefully as to not make the situation worse, Sanghyuk slowly stripped the leather glove from his left hand, gritting his teeth not to react. Hongbin whispered a curse once he saw the damage, Sanghyuk knuckles swollen and bruised, cut in several places, a mess of purples, yellows and reds staining his skin.

“For fuck’s sake.” Hongbin shook his head. “This is infecting, you dumbass, did you really think you could just cover this shit up and everything would be fine?”

“I just— I—”

“Don’t want your future ex-boyfriend to find out, I get it.” Hongbin cut him off, examining his hand carefully. “Crap, you haven’t used any medicine on it and you’re not letting the skin breathe with those gloves, are you stupid or something?”

“Uhm— I don’t think s—”

“Sit down,” Hongbin ordered, pointing at the ground next to their packs. Sanghyuk dropped to the floor immediately, and Hongbin followed suit with much more finesse, pulling his own pack closer. “You’re lucky this is actually something I can help with, otherwise I would be waking up your babysitter right now.”

Sanghyuk bit his tongue; that hit a bit too close to home.

“Take your other glove off,” Hongbin ordered and again Sanghyuk could only comply, watching as Hongbin took his wineskin from his pack. “Alright, this is gonna sting like shit, but be a big boy and take it, yeah?”

Sanghyuk nodded and bit his lips, nodding to Hongbin once he was ready. Hongbin gave him a last look of confirmation before splashing some wine over both his hands, not much, but enough to clean the wounds. Sanghyuk’s reaction was to inhale sharply to withstand the pain, eyes closed tight. That  _ did _ sting, it burned like hellfire.

“There, the worst is over,” Hongbin said, surprisingly soothing. Sanghyuk opened his eyes just to make sure it was really Hongbin in front of him. “I have some healing herbs and a poultice, it should be enough. You have to stop wearing the leather gloves, though.”

“Yeah, I— I think I have a pair made of cotton.”

“That will do.” Hongbin took a couple more items from his pack, taking a tiny jar first and opening it to reveal a strongly scented cream. Sanghyuk wrinkled his nose in distaste, his nostrils burning with the smell. “I’ll use some of this and the herbs, then I’m bandaging your fingers.”

“Sounds good,” Sanghyuk mumbled, wincing when Hongbin began dabbing the cold cream on his knuckles. “Why are you helping me?”

Hongbin looked up at him for a second before looking down again to focus on his task. “Let’s just say I can relate to your situation.” He answered, careful, slow, choosing his words. “And because— You’re not so bad.”

Now  _ that _ was new information. “O-oh?”

“Don’t let it go to your head,” Hongbin warned him immediately, shooting him a glare before continuing applying the balm on his skin. “What you did— You crushed that Templar like you were trying to make mashed potatoes, and I’m not saying it like it’s a bad thing because it isn’t. It was more honest than holding yourself back, albeit disturbing. But that’s not what I’m trying to say, what I’m trying to say is—” Hongbin paused, taking a deep breath before speaking in a much calmer, slower tone, “I understand what it feels like to want to protect someone so much. Especially when they’re all you have.”

They both silently looked over at their four sleeping companions for a moment. “Hakyeon and Wonshik—” Sanghyuk began, careful, knowing he was stepping into a dangerous zone, “They’re very important to you, aren’t they?”

“They’re everything,” Hongbin muttered lowering his head again to continue treating Sanghyuk’s injuries. “Like Jaehwan is your everything.”

Sanghyuk felt the heat pooling on his cheeks, spreading down to his neck, up to his scalp. Hongbin glanced at him briefly and chuckled.

“Not used to hearing it out loud, are you?”

“N-no, I— I suppose I’m not,” Sanghyuk admitted. “You haven’t told anyone, right?”

Hongbin snorted and shook his head, not looking away from his task as he spoke, “No. Not that I need to say anything, you grow more and more obvious each day. The only one who seems not to have noticed is your magical dumbass.” 

“I’m trying.” Sanghyuk sighed and Hongbin rolled his eyes, starting to wrap his hand in clean bandages.

“You could just, I don’t know,  _ tell him _ . It’s fucking painful to watch you running around him like a headless cockroach.”

“He doesn’t even want to be near me,” Sanghyuk whined and pouted, again feeling like a big baby, but he figured it didn’t matter - Jaehwan was asleep and not in a position to see it. “I think I gross him out, with the scales and all.”

Hongbin glanced up at the scales on his face, assessing, before shrugging and continuing to work with the bandages. “Maybe, but it shouldn’t matter.”

“How so?”

Hongbin sighed, finished with his right hand and moving to grab his left. “I called Jaehwan a dumbass just now, but you’re a dumbass too. You belong together.”

“Excuse me?”

“Did I stutter?” Hongbin shot him an unimpressed look from the corners of his eyes. “I’m not going to figure out your love woes for you and I’m not getting paid to give you advice. There are things you should figure out on your own, which, from what I can tell, you already started to do. So good luck with that.”

“You— are certainly an outspoken person.” Sanghyuk mumble, intimidated by Hongbin’s bluntness. He knew that about him, sure, but it was rare for two of them to talk one on one.

One side of Hongbin’s lips quirked up in a smug little smirk. “Keeping my mouth shut never helped, so I just stopped caring.”

“Fair enough. It’s not a bad thing, though.”

“I know it isn’t.” Hongbin’s smirk widened. “And even if it weren’t, I don’t give a flying rat’s ass about it.” Finally, he looked up and stared at Sanghyuk right in the eye, serious as serious could be. “If you want free advice, there’s only one I can give you: you will never gain the approval of every single person.  _ Ever _ . ‘Better’ will never mean ‘better for everyone’ because someone always will get the blunt end of the stick. You act based on your own conscience and the weight you’re willing to carry for your choices.”

Sanghyuk was stunned into complete silence for a moment, Hongbin’s words resonating within him. Hongbin noticed the impact he’d caused and chuckled, going back to treating his injuries as if nothing happened. “Don’t look so surprised. I say this because you’ll be king in a while. Big strong king man of Nevarra in your shiny golden throne overlooking your pretty royal gardens. There are parts of Nevarra you don’t see behind the walls of your castle that are not shiny or pretty, where the people don’t get to feast on sweetmeats and wine or wear fancy clothes. Or even have a roof over their heads, really. I lived in the Alienage during your father’s rule, and let me tell you, it’s  _ shit _ . If I’m telling you all of this, it’s because I’m hoping you’ll do better for the elves who still live there.”

“I will.” Sanghyuk immediately promised, eyes moving towards Jaehwan again. “Jaehwan’s mother was elven.”

Hongbin sighed and rolled his eyes. “So single-minded. Whatever your reasons, just— Do something for them.”

“I will. I swear it.”

Hongbin only gave him a dubious glance but said nothing else, completely focusing on his task of taking care of his wounds. For someone so harsh, Hongbin was certainly handling him with gentleness, but Sanghyuk decided not to read too much into it. It was good that they were much closer to seeing eye to eye, he didn’t want to presume anything else and end up ruining it.

And he gave him good advice, even if a little mortifying.

By the time Hongbin was done with his fingers, hands properly covered with his worn pair of white cotton gloves - that wouldn’t stay white for very long, the world outside was becoming brighter with the coming sun, the storm having finally settled. Hongbin stared up at the sky for a moment and sighed, getting up from the floor.

“Let’s go wake up the others and keep going.”

 

✶✶✶

 

Hongbin was concerned before, but concern didn’t begin to cover how he was feeling at that moment. Two more days had passed with them wandering that shitty wasteland, their water was getting scarce, some of the food had gone bad with the heat, there was dust in his eyes and sand where sand should not be, and Hakyeon and Taekwoon were being disgusting.

He was happy for Hakyeon, of course he was - what kind of friend would he be if he wasn’t happy seeing his best friend happy? He was aware he could a bit of a prick at times, but he wasn’t unreasonable. Hakyeon was happy, and Hongbin was happy for him. Truly. Hongbin knew how much of a hopeless romantic Hakyeon was, and he understood his desire to find himself someone to love and settle down with. His issue was never with Hakyeon finding love, his trouble was— Well. It was the timing. It was terrible,  _ terrible _ timing.

They were in the middle of this never-ending quest to find something deadly they had no idea what was, and any of them could be killed at any given moment; a giant wyvern could fall from the sky on their heads right then and there and eat them. The ground could give and swallow them. They could trip on a dragon living in the Plains. They could get lost there and starve, or die of thirst.

The point was, anything could happen to them. In Hongbin’s opinion that was  _ not _ the best time to start a romance, much less with a Dalish. Ugh, the Dalish. A bunch of stuck ups, from what Hongbin knew; he’d met a few during his travels, and they were always so full of themselves. Hongbin understood the cultural differences between them, understood the differences of their upbringing and it was expected that they would have grown up with different sets of values, but— Hongbin was as much an elf as they were. He just never had the chance to know what that really meant.

And the Dalish, at least the ones he’d met, were not willing to teach him.

So. Fuck ‘em.

Taekwoon was not like the other Dalish he met, at least; he was… Not a complete asshole. He actually liked Taekwoon, didn’t mind his company, and he liked  _ very much _ that Taekwoon minded his own business. And Taekwoon really did love Hakyeon, which was the most important thing.

But the damn timing. The  _ timing _ .

Couldn’t they have kept their sickly sweet feelings to themselves until that whole thing was over and done with it!? It was, admittedly, the only reason Hongbin himself had been holding off on pressing Wonshik against the nearest wall; Taekwoon and Hakyeon could learn a few tricks with him, really. Damn them. Damn that entire situation.

Maybe Sanghyuk had the right idea about keeping his mouth shut about how he felt about Jaehwan. Stupid feelings got in the way of everything. 

And it was so gross to watch. Ugh. A thousand times  _ ugh _ . If only he had water to spare to throw at them, maybe it would keep them apart for five seconds - just because you’re in love doesn’t mean that the rest of the world is obligated to bear witness to it.  _ Ugh _ .

By whatever higher power there was, he would  _ not _ act like that when he finally got with Wonshik. Because it would happen. Oh, and how it would happen.

But his complicated relationship with Wonshik was not important at that moment, the important thing was that Hakyeon was rushing headfirst into heartbreak without a helmet. It was not the time to skew his priorities; Hakyeon should focus on keeping himself alive, just as Taekwoon did, and Hongbin knew Hakyeon well enough to be able to predict disaster. What if something happened with Taekwoon? Hakyeon would go mad with grief and guilt.

And after everything was over?

Taekwoon was— He was a wanderer. He didn’t have roots anywhere, wasn’t used to staying in one place, being around other people. Hakyeon was a friendly, social creature, and while he also traveled a lot the circles he ran with were much different from what Taekwoon was surely used to. What if life with Hakyeon didn’t suit his tastes, what if he just— Just up and left. It could happen. It was not beyond the realm of possibility. And Taekwoon  _ was _ one very stubborn wood elf; if he decided to leave, nothing would stop him.

Hakyeon seemed invested enough that it would break him, destroy him if Taekwoon left.

The more he thought about it, the less he liked it. He didn’t know Taekwoon well enough to be able to tell what went on inside his - weird, very weird - head. He couldn’t accurately predict the actions he would take in the future, because there were so many variables, so many ways everything could go to absolute shit. If they didn’t die in the middle of this senseless quest of theirs, then they would get to— To  _ live _ . Death was a fairly simple thing, easy to understand, even easier to handle in the long run because, well. There was nothing anyone could do about it. But  _ life _ ? Life was a hurricane of piping hot steamy crap. Life was a swimming pool full of hungry sharks constantly sniffing around for the barest hint of blood in the water - and there was always blood in the water. You just never knew when one of those sharks would grab you between its jaws and drag you under, and even if you survived the scars would always be there.

Hakyeon was particularly susceptible to wounds related to love. He pretended he wasn’t, that he was strong and independent, but Hongbin saw the hurt lingering in his eyes whenever Wongeun was mentioned. Those were the scars left by the sharks, visible for always; like broken bones that sometimes ached when it rained, even after years of being healed.

And also because Hongbin  _ really _ didn’t want to watch over Taekwoon. He really didn’t. His life was difficult enough already.

Hongbin was forcefully yanked from his musings by Jaehwan yelping - screeching, more like - and he turned just in time to witness Dumbass Mage flying forward and tumbling to the ground after stepping on a prominent rock. Hongbin sighed, just as Wonshik came rushing by to go and help Jaehwan. Sanghyuk, a couple steps ahead of him, flinched but ultimately didn’t move to help despite clearly wanting to. Hongbin rolled his eyes. He could feel one of his eyelids twitching with annoyance.

“Hey, are you—”

“I’m sick of this place!” Jaehwan shouted to nobody in particular, ripping his bandanna from his face and throwing his arms up in anger. Wonshik jerked back not to get hit. “I’m hungry and I’m thirsty and I’m tired and if I see one more scorpion I sweat to Andraste’s charcoal wedgie that I’m killing someone!”

Taekwoon exhaled, as tired as everyone else, and let go of Hakyeon for one second to walk closer to Jaehwan and crouch down in front of him. “We’re all in the same situation as you, you know.”

Jaehwan pouted. “But Daeguni—”

“I  _ know _ ,” Taekwoon said, straightening himself back up and offering a hand to Jaehwan. “Come on, get up.”

Jaehwan huffed, annoyed and despondent in tandem, and accepted the help. “I’m so tired.”

“I know,” Taekwoon repeated, more sympathetic this time, and Jaehwan sniffled and threw himself forward into Taekwoon’s arms, forcing Taekwoon to hold him back and try to soothe him by giving his back awkward little pats. “Uh— There, there…”

“A-ah, please don’t cry!” Wonshik said urgently, hovering around Jaehwan without knowing what to do to comfort him.

“Jyani—” Sanghyuk’s willpower finally broke, and he approached to check on his beloved advisor, even if he still didn’t get close enough to touch him. “It’s ok, you’re ok and we’ll leave this place soon.”

Hakyeon moved to join the other three in the efforts of comforting the crybaby, but Hongbin was faster and held him by the sleeve of his shirt before he could go far. Hakyeon looked back at him curiously, and Hongbin murmured, “A word?”

Narrowing his eyes suspiciously, Hakyeon stepped closer to Hongbin so they wouldn’t have to speak any higher than a whisper to understand each other, and after both of them had lowered the bandannas from their faces he asked, “What?”

“You and Taekwoon.”

Hakyeon’s expression became stormy in the blink of an eye. “What about it?”

“Don’t get defensive already.” Hongbin rolled his eyes. “I just want to know what’s going on. I’m worried.”

“Binnie, you know I love you with all my heart, but this is really nothing of your business.”

“ _ You _ are my business.” Hongbin tossed back and Hakyeon groaned. “I just know that you sometimes act on impulse and how easy it is for you to get hurt.”

“Taekwoon is not going to hurt me.” Hakyeon looked back over his shoulder, where Taekwoon was still trying to comfort a distressed Jaehwan. “It’s more likely that I will be the one to hurt  _ him _ .”

“Did you think this through?” Hongbin ignored Hakyeon’s words, what he had to say more important at that moment. “What if one of you gets killed? And if you don’t get killed and survive all this, do you really think you’ll be able to have a life with him?”

“Wh-what—?”

“He’s a Dalish elf, Hakyeonie. He doesn’t know how to be tied down, and he doesn’t know how to live in society. He has two fucking demons as pets! Do you really think he’ll adapt to your lifestyle?”

“We’ll figure it out,” Hakyeon said, firm. “We love each other.”

“Just because you ‘love’ each other doesn’t mean that it’ll work out.” Hongbin placed both hands on Hakyeon’s shoulder, looking him deep in the eyes. “Please don’t let yourself have a repeat of what happened with Wongeun.”

“Taekwoon is not Wongeun,” Hakyeon said brusquely. “He’s  _ not _ . He’s not going to do the same.”

“You can’t know that.”

“But I do. I do.” He insisted, letting out a long breath to calm himself. “We’ve only just begun and we still have much to learn about one another. I know you’re worried and I appreciate that you care so much about me, but— I know what I’m doing. It’s different this time, Taekwoon— He’s different, Binnie.”

Hongbin closed his eyes and massaged the bridge of his nose. “You really are in love, aren’t you? Fuck.” Taking a deep breath - and trying very hard not to cough with the intake of ash that came with it - he looked back at Hakyeon. “You know I hate to meddle in yours or anyone else’s life, so this is the only time I’ll ever mention this. Please, be careful? I have nothing against Taekwoon, he seems like a good enough person, but good people make mistakes too.”

“I know, Binnie,” Hakyeon said, and Hongbin grimaced at the cooing tone his voice took. “I promise I’ll be careful, ok?”

Without waiting for him to reply, Hakyeon grabbed Hongbin’s face with both hands and mushed their faces together to rub his nose on his. Hongbin spluttered and tried moving back but Hakyeon had a vicious grip on his cheeks, so the effort was pretty much useless; his next idea was to try and push Hakyeon back by the shoulders, but again Hakyeon was faster and pulled Hongbin to a tight hug, deceptively strong arms wrapped tight around him, keeping his arms in place.

“Hakyeon, what the—!”

“I love you so much, you’re my best friend!” Hakyeon yelled with a childish voice as he buried his face on Hongbin’s neck and blew a raspberry, making Hongbin yelp and squirm. It fucking  _ tickled _ .

“Stop that!” Hongbin continued his attempt to escape, now trying not to laugh at the same time, but it was impossible - he couldn’t move his arms. What was Hakyeon, an octopus? “Stoooop!”

“I love you!” Hakyeon yelled again and gave his cheek a hearty bite, probably leaving behind teeth marks on his face, before finally stepping back. “Cutie!”

“You fucking suck, I hate you so much.” Hongbin pushed Hakyeon’s arm and punched it a few times with no real strength behind it, while Hakyeon just laughed and winced playfully. “I’m going to kick your ass!”

“Don’t, my ass is too beautiful to be kicked!”

“This warms the heart.” Sanghyuk deadpanned, staring at them with an odd look on his face. Hakyeon stuck out his tongue at him and Sanghyuk snorted. “Let’s keep going, you weirdos.”

Hongbin did manage to aim a kick at Hakyeon’s ass while he was distracted, not hard enough to hurt him but hard enough that he let out a short scream of shock before bursting into another fit of laughter. This time, Hongbin allowed himself to laugh along.

They continued walking like that, Hakyeon now hanging on Hongbin’s arm like an over-affectionate koala bear while the others were still fussing over Jaehwan who had become quiet, subdued, head hanging low. Hongbin held in a tired sigh; he didn’t dislike Jaehwan. In fact, out of the three new fixtures in his immediate situation, Jaehwan was the most likable one. Dumb as dumb could be sometimes, sure, but still likable. He was friendly and open and funny, traits he shared with Hakyeon - although Hakyeon was not funny at all, the only funny thing about him was how unfunny he was - and was resourceful and academically smart. Magically smart. His logic was sound too, when the matter on topic didn’t involve feelings. 

And sure, Jaehwan was quick to anger, could go from hot to cold in a heartbeat, but  _ crying _ — If Jaehwan, spokesperson of the Pretend-You’re-Doing-Well-No-Matter-What movement, was breaking down, then their situation was worse than they were all letting out.

They walked for a few minutes more, quiet, the mood dropping to glacial levels - which was ironic because that day was being particularly hot and bringing out more scorpions than usual. Probably what brought on Jaehwan’s meltdown. They were more huddled together now, a tenseness around them, like they were waiting for a hammer to drop on their heads. Hongbin felt— Alert. There was something there, something making the hairs in the back of his neck stand up on end, an ominous feeling that seemed to tell him ‘ _ you better watch your step, kid’ _ .

And like to confirm his thoughts, they all watched as Fear and Deceit changed the direction of their flight, diving into the ground at incredible speed once they spotted something. Nobody had to say anything, all of them promptly sprinting after the two demons to reach what was, hopefully, the goal of their journey.

It better not be another goddamn scorpion.

 

✶✶✶

 

They found Fear and Deceit pecking at the ground, sharp beaks punching holes through the dry earth, making large chunks of it crumble and crack. Jaehwan sighed, just as Hongbin groaned and said, “Fuck no, we’re not seriously going to dig here, are we?”

“It looks like that’s what they want us to do, yes,” Hakyeon said, a confused hitch between his brows.

“You know what, fuck it, step back everyone.” Jaehwan stepped forward, motioning widely with his hands after dropping his pack on the floor. “Fear and Deceit too, move away, buddies.”

Luckily for Jaehwan, nobody seemed to be in the mood to argue and all of them did as told without him having to set anyone’s ass on fire. Good.

Jaehwan took a long, deep breath and closed his eyes; the Veil being so thin there was of great help, and this time he didn’t have any problems tapping into the Fade, drawing forth his magic. He could feel it building inside of him, running through his veins, the power sizzling in his blood. He brought his hands close to each other, focusing all the energy there, in the space between them. He didn’t know how deep underground was whatever the ravens wanted them to find, but he figured that it must be quite a ways down - ancient secrets tended to be kept in inaccessible places. He didn’t want to end up damaging said ancient secret, however. It would have to be a controlled explosion, not too strong but not too weak either.

He took another deep breath, this time to calm his own racing nerves, and once he felt the energy build to the point he wanted he opened his eyes and pushed that concentration of magic, threw it at the spot on the ground where Fear and Deceit had been digging. The sound of the impact was loud, dust and ash rising around them, stinging their eyes and making them cough, and Jaehwan was quick to summon another, albeit smaller surge of magic to lessen the amount of dust around them, clearing a path to the small crater he’d just created.

They still had to kick down the edges of the passage, too stubborn to crumble all the way, and soon enough they had an entrance wide enough for them to pass through - not that they did it right away, of course.

“We have to go  _ in there _ ?” Hakyeon asked, concern making his voice sound brittle. He was staring at the darkness beyond the passage, its depth unknown to them. “How far down does it go?”

Hongbin, braver and much more proactive when faced with a dangerous situation, promptly stepped forward and kicked a loose rock into the hole, and, to their surprise, it didn’t take that long for them to hear it hitting the ground. “Not too far.”

Hongbin then took a deep breath, rolled his shoulders— And jumped.

They all immediately protested and moved towards the entrance, Wonshik reaching it first and looking down into the darkness where Hongbin had disappeared into. “Hongbin! Bin, are you alright!?”

“I’m fine!” Came the reply from the passage, the sound echoing as if Hongbin had just jumped into a well. “It’s too dark though, give me a second to light a torch!”

“Just a second!” Jaehwan yelled down before conjuring a simple wisp of light and sending it down to Hongbin. They could see some of the insides of that well-like entrance, the smooth stone walls, the black, shiny flooring. “Better?”

“Lots, thank you!” Hongbin yelled back, and now they could see him as he looked around for a moment before moving again. “There’s a door here. And stairs.”

“Don’t go down the creepy stairs on your own, we’re coming down!” Wonshik warned him, before looking up at the others and asking in a lower tone. “So, who wants to go first?”

After a short beat of silence, Sanghyuk shrugged and stepped forward, giving the passage an assessing look. Jaehwan felt a sudden burst of concern - what if the idiot broke a leg or something?

“Uhm, Your Highness, you should be—” Sanghyuk jumped down before Jaehwan could finish his sentence, “—careful. Alright then, fuck you too.” The last part he muttered only to himself.

The sound of Sanghyuk’s feet hitting the ground was louder than Hongbin’s, due certainly to his height and build, and he groaned as he braced himself on a wall to regain his balance. “It’s so cold down here, what the shit?”

“It’s a hole on the ground lined with stones, of  _ course _ it’s cold.” Jaehwan rolled his eyes. 

“No sh— I mean.” Sanghyuk cleared his throat. “You’re right, sorry, Jyani. Anyway, who’s next? The drop is not that bad at all!”

“Do you want to go next, Hakyeon?” Taekwoon asked in his gentle voice, and Hakyeon jolted next to him, staring at the hole suspiciously.

“I don’t know...”

“I can go first and be down there to catch you, then.”

Hakyeon stared at Taekwoon for a few seconds, weighing his options, then agreed with a nod. “Ok, that can work.”

“Alright.”

Taekwoon smiled at him and, after placing a kiss on his forehead, moved towards the passage and jumped down easily. Hakyeon whimpered next to Jaehwan and rushed forward to check if his lover was alright.

“Taekwoonie?” He called, his voice echoing back to him.

“I’m fine!” Taekwoon said from all the way down. “It’s safe, you can jump down.”

“A-are you sure?”

“Just jump down, Yeonie, all of us here are fine!” Hongbin added, annoyed.

“Fine! Grumpy.” Hakyeon huffed and, unlike the other three that went before him, sat on the ground and slowly scooted forward over the edge, hanging on until the very last moment before letting himself drop down.

From the noise, Jaehwan assumed that his landing was not as smooth as the others’ had been, but he didn’t hear any cries of pain, so he figured Hakyeon was fine.

“You go next,” Wonshik said to him, motioning politely with one hand.

“Oh, are you sure? I can go last, I don’t mind.” Jaehwan replied, also going for politeness, but Wonshik shook his head and smiled. Jaehwan liked his smile. Honest and open.

“It’s fine! I’ll stay here to make sure you get down the passage safely.” Jaehwan opened his mouth to argue but Wonshik shook his head and insisted, “No, please, I’ll be alright. I’m a guard, it’s what I do.”

Jaehwan chuckled, finding that entire exchange adorable, and finally nodded to agree. “Alright, guardsman, I’ll go next then.”

“What are you two doing up there! Hurry up!” Hongbin’s voice resonated from within the entrance and both Jaehwan and Wonshik exchanged a quick glance and snickered.

“On our way!” Jaehwan said as he approached the crater and, accepting Wonshik’s extended hand, he did like Hakyeon and sat on the ground before carefully lowering his body into the passage, Wonshik keeping a firm grip on his hand the entire time.

He only let go once Jaehwan was far enough into the entrance, and with an  _ oof _ he dropped down, pain shooting up his legs with the impact.

“You ok?” Sanghyuk asked, an edge of concern in his voice, and Jaehwan immediately smiled at him and nodded, moving away from his landing spot so Wonshik would have space to drop down.

“Yeah, I’m good.” He then looked up and called out, “You can come down, Wonshik!”

Wonshik didn’t hesitate before doing just that, joining them only a few seconds after Jaehwan’s call. While Wonshik got his bearings, Jaehwan took a second to look around, take in his surroundings; it was all built with dark stones, smooth, flawless. The flooring was black, the surface almost a mirror as shiny as it was. It was all top quality stuff, and to think it was all lost, buried under a desert of ash—

“Come on, let’s go down the creepy stairs,” Hongbin said, not waiting for them before he began his descent, taking step after careful step with the light of the wisp to guide him. The others quietly followed.

The passage was narrow, spiral, claustrophobic but surprisingly well ventilated considering it was underground. The air was cool and dry, and it smelled of— Of old parchment and stones. It was almost pleasant. The stairs didn’t appear to go down for long, but about halfway through Jaehwan felt— Off. Something… Something wasn’t quite right.

He could hear something. Humming. Whispers. A song.

He opened his mouth to ask if the others were hearing it too, but closed it just as fast. No, it would do him no good. They’d think he was going mad, that there were demons, and Jaehwan knew that there were no demons there - not any besides Fear and Deceit, that is - because he knew the difference between sensing a spirit and—  _ That _ . Whatever  _ that _ was.

Still, he looked behind him, to Taekwoon, who met his eyes and gave him a small, barely perceptible nod.

He heard it too.

At least now he knew he was not hearing things that weren’t there.

It got louder the further down they went, but still not loud enough to make out what the voices were saying, what they were trying to tell him. His skin was alive with goosebumps, spine overcome with cold shivers, fingertips trembling where he placed his hands on the walls to steady himself. How much power must have gone through that place for his reaction to it to be so strong after so many centuries?

Rounding a corner, all of them collectively gasped and raised their hands to shield their eyes from the sudden light - soft blue-green, bathing everything in a phantasmagoric glow. How very fitting.

“What— What the fuck is this green fire thing?” Sanghyuk asked, staring at the torch.

“It’s Veilfire,” Jaehwan replied, approaching the torch to get a better look. “I’ve read about it, but never seen it at work before.”

“Alright, Veilfire. What is it, exactly?” Hongbin was staring at the torch suspiciously.

“It’s elven magic,” Taekwoon spoke. Jaehwan sensed a small hint of bitterness in his tone. “It was—  _ adapted _ by mages in Tevinter after the fall of Arlathan.”

“By adapted you mean ‘stolen’.” Hongbin scoffed. “Fucking Tevinters, what a bunch of vultures.”

“Mm.” Taekwoon hummed in agreement.

“Veilfire is— It’s fire made of magic. It burns without needing anything to ignite or feed it, and it is useful to hide secret messages that are only revealed by its light.” Jaehwan explained.

“Tevinters never mastered  _ that _ , at least,” Taekwoon said, a side of his lips quirked up in a smug smirk. “We should find no hidden messages here. It is of Tevinter build.”

 “You’re so smart.” Hakyeon cooed and gave Taekwoon a noisy kiss on the cheek, which echoed in the smooth walls. Taekwoon just smiled to the ground, bashful.

“What about these doors?” Sanghyuk said, and Jaehwan turned to see what doors he was talking about.

They were— Very obvious double doors, made of dark metal, as tall as the ceiling. They were all so focused on the veilfire that they barely acknowledged anything else, including those ridiculously large doors.

“Hopefully it’s not locked,” Wonshik said, squeezing his way from the very back of the group to check the door. “I don’t see any keyholes or mechanisms.” He tried pushing it open once and seeing that the door didn’t even budge, he tried again with more force. It moved a little bit this time. “Maker’s breath this is heavy.”

“All hands on deck, then.” Hongbin promptly stepped forward, followed by Sanghyuk, one standing on each side of Wonshik. Hakyeon, Taekwoon, and Jaehwan soon joined them, all of their palms flat against the cold surface. “On three. One, two—  _ Three _ .”

They all pushed with all their might, Jaehwan’s arms trembling like gelatin with the strain, but the doors were moving. The side Wonshik, Hongbin, and Sanghyuk were pushing was moving much quicker than their side, but it was no surprise - Sanghyuk was a damn battering-ram when he wanted to be. They pushed for several seconds, until Wonshik called out, “Stop, stop!”

They gladly did, all of them gasping and groaning, exhausted.

“I can’t feel my arms,” Jaehwan whined.

“It’s open enough that we can go through,” Wonshik said, hands on his hips as he caught his breath.

“Let’s get going then, what are we waiting for?” Hongbin asked and, yet again, moved forward without waiting for the others. Wonshik tried to catch him, but Hongbin was faster and easily squeezed through the doors. Wonshik sighed, tired but fond, and followed him.

One by one, they passed between the doors and into a wide square chamber, made of the same material as the stairs and tunnel thus far, held by four carved pillars on each corner. Veilfire torches hung from the walls at equal intervals, making the entire room glow blue-green. And in the very center of the room, was a large cut of rock, flatter on top and carved on the sides with odd symbols.

And that was all there was inside.

“Well. What a waste of a spacious room.” Hakyeon said with a small sigh. “There’s not even a single chair.”

“You can sit on that table if you’d like, but I don’t think that’s made for sitting,” Jaehwan commented.

Without any more witty commentary, they slowly ventured further inside, eyes wide as they looked around in wonder and curiosity. Considering that chamber was related to an Old God, it was all surprisingly simple - which was in and of itself strange considering that Tevinter was much more flashy than that. There was not a hint of gold anywhere, no silver, the only quality in the walls, floor, and ceiling. Not even the table seemed to be worth much from a material perspective.

It was overflowing with ancient magic, though.  

Upon finally reaching the table, Jaehwan let out a soft little gasp, a barely there puff of air, and rushed forward, going around the table to look at its surface better.

“That… Is that a map?” Sanghyuk asked, voice low, careful. Jaehwan nodded.

“It’s— A little different, but yes, I think this is a map of ancient Thedas.”

“It’s so beautiful,” Hakyeon whispered, fingertips tracing the edge of the table almost reverently.

He was right - it truly was beautiful. The surface of the table was entirely carved, a map etched into the stone with incredible detail, a small eight-pointed star marking the place where they were. Hongbin quickly dropped his pack to the floor and rummaged through in search of his map, which he opened hastily to compare to the map in the table.

“It seems we’re about one or two days away from the Imperial Highway.” Hongbin declared, relieved. “It seems we’re not going to die here after all.”

“Thank the Maker, dying here would be terrible.” Wonshik sighed. “I don’t want my remains to become scorpion food. And I don’t want ghasts anywhere near me.”

“Hey, what’s this?” Hakyeon called, pointing to what looked like a socket on the bottom center of the table’s surface. Taekwoon hummed for a moment before whistling, Fear appearing on his shoulder. Without saying anything, he held out his palm and the demon—  _ Vomited _ the jewel on his hand.

“What the fuck was that!?” Jaehwan exclaimed, thoroughly disgusted.

“Oh, right, you weren’t here the first time it did that,” Sanghyuk said. “It does that, it swallows the jewel for safekeeping and just— Spits it out when Taekwoon asks.”

“It’s gross!”

“Yes, yes it is.” Sanghyuk grimly agreed.

Ignoring them, Taekwoon carefully placed the jewel in the socket, and immediately before them appeared— a galaxy. Expanding over the map, translucent and dotted with tiny, shiny stars, like a miniature of the night sky. Struck speechless, all of them could only watch as a few of the stars became larger and brighter than the others, drawing a constellation - Draconis.

And from one of the stars, a thin, frail beam of light shone down onto the map - somewhere in the Waking Sea.

“Oh, fuck.” Hongbin murmured and sighed, searching his bag for something and coming back with a piece of charcoal to mark his own map with the information shown by the table. “Why does it have to point to the goddamn ocean?”

“ _ Goddamn _ ocean? How dare you, the ocean is amazing.” Hakyeon gave Hongbin’s arm a playful slap.

“Sure, but do you want to probably dive into the very depths of that salt water hell just to find whatever it is we have to find?” Hongbin asked, and turning back to the map, concluded, “Didn’t think so.”

“I wonder what’s in there,” Wonshik said as he stared at the map, mesmerized.

“Probably a big angry dragon god ready to wreak havoc in Thedas,” Sanghyuk answered.

“So what Heechul told us was really right, wasn’t it? The constellation being a representation of this eighth dragon.” Wonshik continued, not moving his eyes away from the map.

“The dragon of dragons.” Taekwoon murmured.

They were all silent for a long moment after those words, the weight of them a burden upon their shoulders. The dragon of dragons.

“No point in worrying about it now,” Hongbin said, finally done copying the main points of the map on the table into his own parchment one. “The sun is probably setting about now, I say we stay down here for the night. It’s safe and there’s only one entrance, and we’ll probably sleep better on this floor than on that dry shitty dusty ground up there.”

“You’re not wrong.” Wonshik agreed.

“I rarely ever am.”

“And we’ll be safe from any dust storms too,” Sanghyuk added. “And with this much space, there’s no need for all of us to sleep huddled together.”

“I’ll still huddle together with Woonie, I don’t care.” Hakyeon declared, wrapping his arms around Taekwoon’s waist.

“Shocking.” Hongbin deadpanned, and together the five of them moved away to choose a good spot to set up their impromptu camp. Taekwoon removed the jewel from the socket and the constellation immediately disappeared, leaving behind only the stone map again.

Jaehwan stared at it for a moment longer, the whispers and the song ringing in the back of his mind like a siren call.

The Waking Sea.

The dragon of dragons.

He had a very bad, terrible, awful, gut-wrenching feeling about it.

 

✶✶✶

 

The cold air hitting his back woke Hakyeon up from his slumber, and he sat up with an annoyed groan while searching the spot next to him for Taekwoon. He should be there, had been there when everyone laid down to sleep, but the bedroll was now empty. His immediate reaction was to panic at his absence, but in a chamber as large and empty as the one they were in, finding Taekwoon was a matter of only a couple heartbeats.

Taekwoon was there, not gone, standing in front of the large stone table and staring at the carved out map, arms crossed. He couldn’t see his face from that angle, but he could just tell his love was frowning, that thoughtful scowl he wore at times. Hakyeon released his panic in a drawn-out sigh, all worry leaving him instantly before he pushed himself up and walked closer to Taekwoon. The blue-green light of the Veilfire gave everything around them a fantastical air, fairytale-like, and against Taekwoon’s skin it looked— Magical. There was no other way to describe. Taekwoon looked like a particularly broody being of legend.

Without saying anything to announce himself, Hakyeon carefully slid his arms around Taekwoon’s waist, pressing his chest against his back and a kiss to the side of his neck. Taekwoon flinched with surprise but relaxed just as quick.

“What are you doing up, baby?” He asked, giving Taekwoon’s waist a little squeeze.

Taekwoon didn’t answer him right away, continuing to stare at the stone map as he rested his arms over Hakyeon’s, keeping them there. “Do you—” He started and paused, as if searching for the right words. “Do you feel strange here?”

Hakyeon frowned, hooking his chin over Taekwoon’s shoulder and turning his head just the slightest so he could see his love’s face better. “Strange how?”

“I’m— Not sure,” Taekwoon said, the hitch between his brows deepening. “I feel like I can hear something, but— I can’t, not really, no matter how much I try.”

“Taekwoonie, that’s— Really creepy, please tell me you’re joking.” Hakyeon pressed closer to Taekwoon, looking around wildly. Taekwoon chuckled, damn him, and grabbed one of his hands in a gesture that was meant to be soothing.

“I’m not joking, but you have nothing to worry about.” He said as he laced their fingers together and  _ that _ — That was very soothing. “Fear and Deceit didn’t pick up on any danger, whatever is here is— An echo of something. That it lasted this long speaks numbers of its power, but it can’t hurt us.”

“That doesn’t make it any better.” Hakyeon sighed, turning his head to bury his face on the curve of Taekwoon’s neck. They had tried to clean themselves up from the ashes that clung to their skin, but it was no use - without water the best they could do was dust themselves off, which was not very helpful. Taekwoon didn’t smell like Taekwoon, like sweet grass and spices; he smelled of ashes. He smelled like that place, just like Hakyeon and the others did. He hoped they wouldn’t smell like that forever. “What if a ghost appears?”

Taekwoon snorted. “No ghost will appear, vhenan.”

“But what if it does!?”

“It won’t, I promise.” Taekwoon turned his head to nuzzle at Hakyeon’s temple. “You really can’t hear anything?”

Hakyeon sighed, but diligently closed his eyes and tried to focus on the sounds of the room. He could hear Taekwoon’s soft breathing and controlled heartbeat, just under his ear; he could hear the Veilfire crackling; he could hear Wonshik’s snoring echoing on the stone walls; he could hear the faraway sound of the wind howling outside.

“What am I supposed to be hearing, exactly?”

“It’s— A song.”

Hakyeon groaned and burrowed his face further against Taekwoon’s neck. “That’s creepy! And I don’t hear any songs, just Shik’s snoring.”

Taekwoon laughed through his nose, the sound so endearing Hakyeon just  _ had _ to nip at his neck. The action made Taekwoon giggle, which was only yet another reminder of how whipped Hakyeon was. “I think people all the way in Orlais can hear Wonshik’s snoring.”

Hakyeon’s laughter was muffled against Taekwoon’s skin. “They probably think it’s an angry dragon.”

Taekwoon had to let go of Hakyeon’s hand to cover his mouth before his fit of giggles woke the others up, and Hakyeon sighed, smitten, thoroughly in love. 

Hongbin’s words suddenly invaded his mind, but he quickly shoved them aside. What did Hongbin know about love anyway? He’d been running in circles around Wonshik since ever, that didn’t make him an expert. He loved Hongbin, he did, but— He didn’t want anyone to try to throw cold water on his and Taekwoon’s relationship. It was not of anyone else’s business. 

They would figure it out. Their relationship was still new, they had much to learn still, and they would get there.  _ What ifs _ meant nothing, not at that moment. They were only together for a little more than a week; he wouldn’t start second-guessing his— His  _ boyfriend _ . No.

“Come on, dearest, let’s go to sleep.” Hakyeon urged, just a hint of whining in his tone. “We have a long day tomorrow.”

“You can go. I’m not sleepy.”

Hakyeon didn’t bother holding back the whining this time. “Taekwoonie! Are you really going to make me sleep alone in the cold?”

Taekwoon sighed and shook his head, pressing a kiss to Hakyeon’s forehead. “You can use my blanket.”

“No, I don’t want your blanket, I want you!” Hakyeon squished Taekwoon against himself and peppered kisses over every inch of skin he could reach, Taekwoon simply giggling at the treatment. “Pretty please?”

“But I’m not tired.” Taekwoon said, sounding too close to a petulant child. Hakyeon clucked his tongue, ready to give his beloved an earful when a better idea formed in his mind.

His demeanor immediately shifted, pout replaced by a teasing smirk. “I think I know how to make you tired.”

Taekwoon blinked and tilted his head to the side like a confused kitten, his innocence forcing Hakyeon to hold himself back from cooing. “You do? How?” Hakyeon opened his mouth to reply but Taekwoon interrupted him. “Are you going to give me that tea Hongbin makes? Won’t he be angry if you go through his stuff?”

Hakyeon let out a breath of disbelief and shook his head, an incredulous smile on his lips. “You— I  _ love _ you.”

Taekwoon seemed confused at the fervent confession, but Hakyeon didn’t give him enough time to process before he grabbed his face - gently, only gentleness for Taekwoon - and pulled him down for a kiss. Taekwoon tried to protest, but the sound was muffled by Hakyeon lips immediately - not that Taekwoon tried very hard to make his point, easily giving in to Hakyeon’s whim and letting him pull him by the hand, breaking the kiss only to guide them to the other side of the table. Taekwoon followed without a question despite his look of confusion, throwing a quick glance to their sleeping companions.

“Wh-what about the others?”

“What about them?” Hakyeon chirped, turning around as he reached the opposite side of the stone map.

“What— What if they wake up and see us?” The blush on Taekwoon’s face made a squeal-like noise bubble out of Hakyeon’s mouth before he could stop himself, and he pressed a hard kiss to Taekwoon’s chubby cheek before sitting down on the floor, back propped up against the side of the table.

“Sit here with me and they won’t see us.”

Taekwoon gave him another dubious look but obliged, making to sit next to Hakyeon. Hakyeon hummed and shook his head, patting his thighs to signal Taekwoon to sit there instead. Taekwoon’s blush intensified but still he moved to sit sideways on Hakyeon’s lap, and, again, Hakyeon hummed and shook his head, this time adding a gesture where he pointed at Taekwoon’s face and then his own. The message was obvious - facing each other. From the way Taekwoon immediately ducked his head and turned his face away, he understood.

“You told me to sit  _ with _ you, not  _ on _ you.”

“Trust me, you’ll see how great this idea is.” Hakyeon insisted, tugging on Taekwoon’s hand. “Please, pretty please, my sugar pie?”

“Sugar pie?” Taekwoon echoed with an amused little grin, then sighed in resignation and nodded. “Fine.”

Hakyeon made a little noise of happiness and stomped on the ground with his feet a few times like an excited kid, making grabby hands at Taekwoon until he relented and, shy, sat down on Hakyeon’s lap, one leg on each side of his waist. He was clearly feeling awkward, unsure of where to put his hands, how far back to sit, so Hakyeon took it upon himself to help; he guided Taekwoon to place his arms around his shoulders and deftly hooked his hands on his waist, pulling him possessively to himself until they were chest to chest. Taekwoon made a sound that was close to a mewl of embarrassment.

Hakyeon giggled and pressed a kiss to Taekwoon’s neck. “See, isn’t this nice?”

“It’s— Not that bad.”

“It’ll get even better if you relax.” Hakyeon teased, nuzzling his nose on Taekwoon’s like an affectionate kitten. “If you’re still uncomfortable after a while we can stop. Good?”

Taekwoon agreed with a brief nod and Hakyeon could only smile and gather him into his arms, trail soft kisses all over his face, sigh with how happy he felt having Taekwoon so close to him. He’d been so stupid for denying himself that happiness for so long— Denying  _ Taekwoon _ that happiness. He could just see how happy he was, how he’d been smiling more and playing more, acting clingy and adorable with him, being more open with the others. There was a light behind his eyes that wasn’t there before, a light that spread all over him and shone through his every action, and Hakyeon was stunned, lovestruck, head over heels for him.

He’d been so dumb, had wasted so much time.

And, he was also finding, he loved kissing Taekwoon - not because he was Taekwoon, but because his kisses were so— Honest. Eager, hungry, with a real desire to do well and please despite his lack of experience. It was dizzying how much adoration he could feel through Taekwoon’s kisses alone, and he was thoroughly baffled that he, just a Raider turned dancer from the faraway land of Rivain, would be the object of so strong an affection. He didn’t feel worthy of it, didn’t think he was good enough to warrant so much love, and yet there was Taekwoon, loving him with the burning intensity of a million suns. It was— Humbling, but it also boosted his confidence up to the sky at the same time. 

He kissed Taekwoon unhurriedly, enjoying the way their lips slid against one another, each touch of their tongues, the little sounds that sometimes escaped Taekwoon’s throat. His hands stayed put on Taekwoon’s lower back, just holding him close, keeping him there, but Taekwoon’s hands were starting to wander, one tangled in his hair, the other tracing the column of his neck, just over his jugular, the pulse point, his fingertips lingering there as if it was fascinating.

Hakyeon wanted to laugh hysterically from how happy he was, how in love he was.

Taekwoon must have started feeling more comfortable, more confident, for he suddenly nipped at Hakyeon’s neck. The action was so unexpected that Hakyeon reacted with his whole body, muscles going tense, spine arching, head being thrown back— And hitting the stone table with more force than it should.

“Ow!” The noise combined with Hakyeon’s yelp of pain made Taekwoon look up with concern, but Hakyeon didn’t have the time to reassure his love before something else hit him right on the top of his head. “What the—!”

Whatever hit his head bounced from it to his shoulder and rolled down his chest, getting trapped there thanks to his physical closeness with Taekwoon. Taekwoon promptly reached up to check on Hakyeon’s head, a look of concern on his face.

“Are you alright?”

“Yeah, I tossed my head back too fast and hit the table,” Hakyeon replied with a pout before taking the object that had fallen on his head. “What did—”

Taekwoon followed his line of sight down to the piece of stone resting on his palm, gingerly taking it into his own hands to examine it. It was round but flat, a small disc of stone about the size of Taekwoon’s palm, about a thumb thick, made of the same dark granite of the table. There were markings on one of the sides, words in a long forgotten language, while the other was completely smooth. In the very center was another round cut, a circle within a circle, and protruding from it was— A socket?

“What is this?” Hakyeon asked more to himself than anything else, staring at the object in a complete loss.

Taekwoon suddenly gasped and whistled, before calling out in a controlled voice, “Elgar’har, garas’in’an!”

Hakyeon frowned. “What?”

Taekwoon blinked and chuckled, just as Fear materialized on his shoulder. “I was calling for Fear.” Turning to the demon, Taekwoon stretched out his free palm. “Jewel.”

Hakyeon turned away as Fear began retching out the jewel in that gross, disturbing way he’d witnessed before. “Elgar’har means Fear?”

“It means spirit of fear.” Taekwoon clarified with a pleased smile. “And Elgar’harel means spirit of deceit.”

“Like Fen’harel?” Hakyeon’s question made Taekwoon’s smile widen, and he nodded.

“Yes. Fen’harel is a trickster god, he might be known as the Dread Wolf but his name is more literally translated as ‘wolf of tricks’.”

“Ah! Because he’s a deceitful wolf.”

“Yes,” Taekwoon confirmed with a chuckle, just as Fear finished spitting out the jewel on his palm. “You learn fast. I should teach you Elvish.”

“Yes, please!” Hakyeon beamed at him and that got him a kiss on the tip of the nose as a reward.

“Cute.” Taekwoon murmured before taking the stone disc and examining it for a moment. Hakyeon watched with increasing interest, mouth forming a perfect ‘O’ when Taekwoon deftly placed the jewel on the strange socket.

A perfect fit.

Instantly, the jewel began to spin on the disc, fast at first before slowing to a halt, the head of the silver dragon pointing somewhere to their right. Hakyeon looked towards that direction and found nothing, but it wasn’t hard to figure that one out. He was a raider, once. He could recognize one of those.

“It’s a compass.” He whispered to himself at the realization, eyes widening as he turned to Taekwoon and repeated in a louder voice, “It’s a compass!”

Taekwoon hummed in agreement, a cute hitch between his brows. “But where is it pointing to? The dragon?”

“Probably.” Hakyeon sighed; there went his quiet alone time with Taekwoon. “We should probably call the others.”

 

✶✶✶

 

Things weren’t going very well.

Not only were they all tired, grumpy, hungry and thirsty, but also their water supply was running ridiculously, concerningly low - it would not be the case had they not accidentally stepped too close to a ghast hole and got themselves jumped by the little creatures. Those disgusting little goblins swarmed them, ruined a good chunk of their belongings, and they had only not been ripped to pieces thanks to Jaehwan’s blood magic.

They were alive, yes, but more than half of their remaining water was gone. At least their food reserves were still fine enough that they wouldn’t die so soon.

Not that being alive in those conditions felt like such a victory.

At least the wind had shifted and there was not as much dust being thrown at their faces, which meant they could forego the bandannas for the time being - except Sanghyuk who had been getting nosebleeds from the dry air of the Plains, something that was driving Jaehwan insane because he couldn’t exactly heal a nosebleed.

Hakyeon and Taekwoon spent a lot of time walking a few steps behind the group, whispering to each other, hands clasped together and fingers entwined. Jaehwan was uncharacteristically quiet, staring at his feet a little too much, while Sanghyuk seemed fidgety, glancing towards Jaehwan from time to time as if he wanted to say something but couldn’t figure out what or how to do so. And Hongbin— Hongbin was very quiet. Very distant too, like his mind was miles away, like— Like he was close to giving up.

Wonshik didn’t like that, not one bit.

And if their morale was low, it was about to get worse.

“So, two elves, a prince, a blood mage, a guardsman and a former raider walk into a bar—” Hakyeon began, obviously trying to lighten up the mood, but Sanghyuk immediately interrupted him.

“If the punchline doesn’t involve the raider getting kicked right in the nutsack, I don’t wanna hear it.”

“Wow, rude,” Hakyeon complained with a small pout, half hiding behind Taekwoon’s arm.

“Can you guys  _ please _ not start. I have a headache.” Jaehwan said as he kicked a pebble on the ground, almost tripping over it when it didn’t go as far as he hoped it would. “Oh for fucking fuck’s sake I’m so fucking tired of this fucking—”

“Ah,  _ fuck _ .”

Hongbin’s exclamation when they reached the top of a small hill was quickly explained once they took a look at the valley below and saw that was— Not a valley, exactly, but a sort of marsh. There was a large, wide depression on the land and it was all filled with water - likely from past rain. The waters were still. Placid and dark, not a ripple on them.

It didn’t bode well.

“This is just great, the first body of water we see in  _ days _ and it’s a dirty disgusting bog in the middle of Taint-ville!” Sanghyuk threw his hands up as he talked, a manic grin on his face. “Fucking fantastic! This is the greatest place in the entire universe! Color me fucking amazed!”

“How are we going to get through this?” Hakyeon asked, looking from one side to the other presumably to search for a way around it. “It stretches as far as I can see, what the hell?”

“We shouldn’t just waddle in, we don’t know how deep it is,” Taekwoon muttered, staring at the dark water dejectedly. “Or if there’s anything living there.”

“I’m pretty sure there’s something living there, and it’s not anything good,” Wonshik said, massaging the bridge of his nose with his thumb and middle finger.

“Yes, like parasites,” Hongbin said smartly, and all eyes, of course, turned to him. “I heard from someone once that you should never pee in the water of lakes and bogs like this, because there’s a parasite that is attracted to the ammonia of your piss and will come and crawl into your dick hole and your dick might fall off.”

“Hongbin, what the hell!” Hakyeon exclaimed, a horrified expression on his face.

“I think I’m going to be sick. Or cry. Or both. Simultaneously.” Sanghyuk said, face twisted in such a way that it could be considered comical.

“What the— Where did you even hear that?” Jaehwan asked, to which Hongbin shrugged.

“Someone at a tavern told me once.”

“And you believed that!?”

“I’d rather not to put it to the test.”

“Fair.”

Sanghyuk groaned, tired, and turned to Jaehwan, “Jyani, can you make a bridge or something? Make some rocks float or whatever else that can get us across?”

“I can  _ try _ , but… I don’t know, I don’t think I’ll be able to hold the rocks up for long.” Jaehwan said, staring at the water with a concerned look on his face.

“You’re the best mage I know, I’m sure you can do it,” Sanghyuk told Jaehwan with an encouraging smile.

Jaehwan looked away immediately when their eyes met, returning his attention to the marsh ahead. There was a little blush on his cheeks - Wonshik wanted to coo but held back.

“You don’t know many mages, Your Highness,” Jaehwan said with a sigh. “I’ll  _ try _ . You’ll have to cross it fast, though.”

“We’ll all try our very best,” Sanghyuk promised and the others agreed.

“Uhm… Is this a bad time to mention that I can’t swim?” Hongbin asked, uncharacteristically unsure.

“You can’t swim?” Wonshik asked as he turned to face Hongbin, one eyebrow raised.

“Yeah, what about it? Problem?” Hongbin defied him with his chin raised, crossing his arms defensively.

“No problem, I’m just— Surprised.”

“If you fall on the water we’ll save you, there doesn’t seem to be a current so just… Waddle like a dog?” Hakyeon suggested, getting a sideways glare from Hongbin. “What!? I’m serious!”

“Come on, let’s get this over with,” Jaehwan said, motioning for them to walk up to the edge of the water.

One by one they went down the hill, careful not to end up tumbling down, and soon enough they were standing by the water - it wasn’t any better up close than it had been from further away. Jaehwan had a stiff expression on his face like he was smelling something foul as he looked over the surface of the water, the bits of moss and dirt and dead insects floating idly by.

“If there’s anything living in there, it’s not fish,” Wonshik said.

“Only if it’s a giant, blighted, thousand-eyed monstrosity of a fish,” Sanghyuk added.

“Shush, I need to focus.” Jaehwan hissed at them before closing his eyes to do as he said and concentrate.

They all stood quietly as they let Jaehwan do his thing. For a long moment nothing happened, but eventually Wonshik felt the ground under his feet start shifting, trembling, the calm waters rippling, a faraway grumbling reaching his ears. One by one, large boulders began appearing from the depths of the marsh, and now the water was not as still anymore - small waves were rising before them, water sloshing over the edge and causing them to jump back to escape getting wet.

“What— Why is the water moving so much? Please tell me you didn’t wake something up.” Sanghyuk asked, eyes wide as plates.

“It’s probably just the movement of the rocks, now get going because I won’t be able to hold on for too long,” Jaehwan said between his teeth, arms outstretched towards the water, fingers curled like claws.

“Taekwoon and I can cross it first with the heavier packs,” Hongbin suggested. “We elves have more balance.”

“Show off.” Wonshik teased.

As quick as possible, Taekwoon and Hongbin gathered the packs they deemed the most difficult ones to carry, those being the ones with their food supplies and cooking equipment, and easily crossed the stones - Taekwoon went first, his feet barely touching the rocks as he hopped from one to the next without hesitation, Hakyeon holding his breath next to Wonshik the whole time; then went Hongbin, not as gracefully as Taekwoon but equally as precise, jumping from one boulder to the other without faltering.

Wonshik snorted once he saw them high-five once Hongbin arrived at the other side.

“Elves rule!” Hongbin shouted, Taekwoon smiling smugly next to him.

“Less joking around, please, these rocks are really heavy!” Jaehwan whined.

“I’ll go next.” Hakyeon promptly stepped forward after speaking, shoulders squared and head raised confidently - Wonshik suspected he wanted to go next because now he was so used to being glued to Taekwoon that being away from him for two minutes felt like losing a limb.

Hakyeon’s steps were not as firm as Hongbin’s and Taekwoon’s had been. He had good balance, something Wonshik related to Hakyeon’s dancing background, but he hesitated too long before jumping to the next stone which caused him to falter at times and almost fall, forcing him to hold out his arms and sometimes spin them to regain his posture. It was— Actually sort of funny.

It was even funnier when, while jumping from the last rock to the shore, Hakyeon miscalculated the distance and slipped, one of his legs sinking deep into to the murky waters. They all collectively grimaced and exclaimed ‘eeeew’ at the sight. Even Taekwoon.

“You ok there?” Wonshik called out, biting back his laughter.

“Yeah, ‘m fine!” Hakyeon shouted in response.

“You didn’t pee in the water, did you?” Sanghyuk asked, jokingly, and Hakyeon flipped him off once Taekwoon helped him back onto his feet. One side of his pants was completely covered in the brownish green mud of the marsh.

“Stop wasting time,  _ please _ !” Jaehwan hissed at them.

Sanghyuk sighed and rolled his shoulders. “I’m going to show them how we do it in Castrum Draconis.”

“Just shut up and go, you dweeb.” Jaehwan rolled his eyes as he spoke, though Wonshik could see that he was trying to suppress a smile.

“Ugh, fine. Grumpy.” Sanghyuk sniffed in affectation and, after getting a little impulse, rushed forward and quickly jumped from stone to stone, twirling on his heels once he reached the other side and curtsying like only the Crown Prince of Nevarra knew how.

Wonshik turned to Jaehwan then. “Will you be alright?”

“Yeah, I’ll be just peachy.” Jaehwan gritted between teeth, trying to smile at him. There were droplets of sweat on his forehead. “Be quick about it and I’ll be even better.”

Wonshik chuckled and nodded. “You got it.”

Taking a deep breath to prepare himself mentally, Wonshik began running forward much as Sanghyuk had done. One stone, two stones. Once he got to the third one, however, he halted so fast he almost pushed down the boulder into the water.

“What the fuck are you doing!?” Jaehwan screeched. 

“What the fuck was that!?” Wonshik shrieked almost at the same time, a flying bug the size of his palm zooming by right in front of his face, close enough he could feel the wind caused by its wings.

“Come on, Shik, hurry up!” Hongbin urged him.

“Yeah, just get it over with!” Sanghyuk joined in.

Wonshik yelped when another bug, smaller than the first, flew too close to him again. “Aah, gross, gross, gross, gross—”

“Hurry  _ up _ !” Sanghyuk insisted, and only knowing that he would fall into disgusting greenish water filled with dead bugs like those was enough to get Wonshik moving again.

He wobbled a bit on the last couple stones, but ultimately didn’t fall and was welcomed by Hongbin who offered him a hand to help Wonshik steady himself after his very, very difficult trial.

And then there was only Jaehwan left. 

“Come on, Jyani, you can do it!” Sanghyuk yelled out to Jaehwan, looking so small across the marsh.

Jaehwan stared uncertainly at the first rock, expression stiff, before he finally started moving towards it. Jaehwan jumped onto the first stone, arms outstretched to keep his balance. It took him a moment to stop wobbling enough so he could jump to the second stone, then the third. He almost fell over on the fourth one, and now that he was closer, Wonshik could tell he was shaking, sweat running down his temples. He looked pale too, lips not looking healthy and rosy like they should be.

Sanghyuk noticed it too and called out in a surprisingly gentle tone, “Just one more, you got this!”

Jaehwan looked at Sanghyuk with a panicked look in his eyes, like he was quietly saying, ‘no, I can’t do this, I won’t make it’, and Sanghyuk took a couple steps closer to the edge of the water and held out a hand to encourage Jaehwan to keep going.

“Just a little more, come on,” Sanghyuk said, lower now that Jaehwan was closer to him.

Jaehwan’s arms were shaking violently now, probably from the strain of holding the rocks up while crossing the marsh at the same time. Maybe they should let Jaehwan get a little extra food that night; he certainly deserved it.

“I can’t—” Jaehwan stuttered, even his voice shaking as if speaking took him tremendous effort.

“You  _ can _ , Jyani, don’t give up now.” Sanghyuk urged. “Please, don’t give up, you’re so close—”

Jaehwan whimpered, face contorted into a pained expression. Like it was taking him every single drop of willpower he had, Jaehwan leaped towards the last stone, landing ungracefully but not falling down, his shaking worsening. Sanghyuk stretched his arm further towards him and Jaehwan did the same, reaching out to get a hold of Sanghyuk’s hand, fingertips almost touching.

And then, in the blink of an eye, all the stones sunk back into the dark depths and Jaehwan didn’t even have time to yelp before he, too, was swallowed by the waters.

“Jaehwan!” Sanghyuk called out, eyes wide as he stared at the point where Jaehwan had disappeared into. “Jaehwan, come on up!”

“Don’t pee in the water!” Hongbin tried joking, but Sanghyuk wasn’t paying attention.

“Jaehwan! I know you can swim, just—” Sanghyuk continued calling, fidgeting restlessly where he stood. “Oh—  _ Fuck. _ ”

“Sanghyuk, don’t—” Hakyeon began saying, but Sanghyuk, without hesitating or even dropping his baggage, dove into the water after Jaehwan.

They were all silent now, staring at the dark marsh anxiously, counting the seconds it took for their two companions to reemerge, but the moment stretched and they didn’t come back.

“No,” Hongbin said, shaking his, head. “No, no, no, we’re not going after them.”

“I don’t think we have a choice, Bin.” Hakyeon exhaled the words and, taking a deep breath, rushed forward and jumped into the water. Taekwoon promptly followed, both disappearing where Jaehwan and Sanghyuk did.

“Shik—” Hongbin stared at Wonshik, pleading, but as Hakyeon had said, they really didn’t have a choice.

“Here, hold my hand and don’t let go no matter what,” Wonshik said, offering his hand to Hongbin, who hesitatingly took it. “Take a big breath and hold it. When I count to three, we jump.”

“Shik, I— I don’t know if I can do this.”

“You can. I won’t let anything happen to you.”

Hongbin stared at Wonshik for a moment longer before agreeing with a jerky motion of his head. Wonshik gripped Hongbin’s hand tight and turned to the water.

“Here we go then. One… Two…” Wonshik counted, glancing at Hongbin as a sign to have him hold his breath, which he did, “Three!”

And they jumped.

 

✶


	20. Going under

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> alternate titles are "gay panic! at the disco" or "the beach episode" or "give jaehwan a hug challenge"

✶

 

The moment Sanghyuk hit the water he was already being dragged down by an incredibly strong current. He couldn’t fight it, his limbs no match to the power of the waters - all he could do was hold his breath and pray. Logic dictated that the current that got him was the very same one who also pulled Jaehwan under, and so they would likely end up at the same place, but thinking of Jaehwan felt so unreal when he was there, water whirling around him, the world a blur, his ears ringing from the pressure, the foul taste of those waters in his mouth, burning the insides of his nose.

He was going to die. He was absolutely certain he was going to die. The panic set in and Sanghyuk tried to scream, more water entering his mouth, his nose, stinging his eyes, and all the while he was tumbling down, going under, sinking deeper and deeper, all he could think about was of how he didn’t want to die. He wasn’t ready to die, not yet, he still had so much to do, so much he wanted to do.

He had to get his throne back from the cultists. He had to find the eighth Old God. He had to avenge his parents’ deaths. He— He never even kissed Jaehwan. Never told him how he felt, he had to tell Jaehwan he loved him, he had so much to do still, he was so young—

It felt like was falling, being dragged under for an eternity, until he was suddenly pulled up, almost catapulted to the surface only to fall back down with a loud  _ splash.  _ He swallowed yet another mouthful of dirty bog water, but there the waters were— Shallower. Still somewhat deep, but not enough that he couldn’t touch his feet on the bottom. Spluttering and splashing around, Sanghyuk managed to resurface, paddling his arms violently in his effort to swim to the nearest dry surface. Somehow, he did - it was rock, uneven, natural rock. A cave, then?

As he managed to pull himself up and out of the water, his vision still blurry, he made out a silhouette not far from him - Jaehwan.

“This is  _ fascinating! _ ” Jaehwan was saying as he, apparently, looked over at the farthest wall of that underground cave or wherever they were, “The bog up there, it’s like— Like this super cool self-reliant source of water, the water comes down here and—” Jaehwan stopped mid-sentence and looked back at Sanghyuk. “Hyogi, you— You jumped after me?”

Before Sanghyuk even opened his mouth to answer, there were two loud, consecutive splashes right behind him. He turned just in time to see Taekwoon and Hakyeon reemerge from the murky waters and waddle their way to where they were, Hakyeon dragging himself up to the rocks before reaching out to help Taekwoon do the same.

“Aw, you  _ all _ jumped after me? This is so sweet, thank you!” Jaehwan said, genuinely touched.

“Maker’s hairy testicles, you’re an idiot,” Sanghyuk grumbled, voice rough after nearly drowning, although the relief he felt for being alive, for Jaehwan being safe too, for the others to be ok— It was so strong that he couldn’t help but smile. And thanks to Hongbin’s mystery poultice the wounds on his hands had closed during the last couple days, so he wouldn’t have to cut them off for being infected from the gross marsh water. They were safe. Alive.

“Hey,  _ you _ are the one who jumped after  _ me _ , I think that makes  _ you _ the idiot here,” Jaehwan said, nose up and hands on his hips.

Sanghyuk only chuckled to himself and shook his head. He couldn’t even bring himself to be annoyed, he was only—  _ Relieved _ .

“Hold on, where’s Binnie and Wonshik?”

Hakyeon’s concerned voice managed to pierce a hole right through Sanghyuk’s relief bubble and he abruptly sat up, looking around wildly. Did they jump? Were they still up there at the edge of the marsh? If they were, then how would they get back there to reunite with them? 

And just like the universe decided to answer his questions, there were two consecutive loud splashes behind them, followed by more splashing and spluttering and shouting. Of course, their immediate reaction was to jump to their feet to go help, and Sanghyuk turned around to the scene of Wonshik frantically swimming towards Hongbin - Hongbin, who looked to be unconscious.

Panic settled in again and Sanghyuk immediately jumped back into the water, reaching the pair as Wonshik already had a good grip on Hongbin, his head lolling from one side to the other while Wonshik swam towards Sanghyuk. Sanghyuk easily grabbed Wonshik’s hand and dragged them towards the rocks, where Taekwoon and Hakyeon were waiting to help them up. Jaehwan was standing in the back of the cave, lost and wide-eyed, completely frozen in place.

“Hongbin? Come on, Bin, open your eyes,” Wonshik practically begged after they finally managed to bring Hongbin’s limp form up. Wonshik leaned in close to Hongbin’s face, obviously checking if he was breathing, and almost immediately placed both hands on his chest, one atop the other, and began pressing down on it at even intervals, his eyes never leaving Hongbin’s face. “Please, Bin, please breathe—”

No response. Sanghyuk was biting his lips, the insides of his cheeks, trying to remind himself to stay calm, to give it time, but the terror was taking over. Was Hongbin dead? Did he die because Sanghyuk made an impulsive decision and gave the others no choice but to follow him? If that was the case then— How would he live with himself? How would look at Hakyeon, at  _ Wonshik _ in the eyes after having been the one responsible for the death of someone they love? He didn’t want Hongbin to be dead, he— He liked Hongbin, he did, he didn’t want him to  _ die _ —

Wonshik leaned down to check Hongbin’s breath again, whispering a curse as he went back to pushing down on his chest, trying to revive him. Hakyeon was staring at Hongbin through tears, being held back by Taekwoon; Jaehwan was still watching everything from where he was, but Sanghyuk could tell even in that poorly illuminated cave, the only light coming from the crystal at the top of Jaehwan’s staff, that he was terrified.

And the relief that settled over them was instantaneous once Hongbin coughed and wheezed, Wonshik helping him lay on his side so he could expel all the foul water he’d swallowed. Hongbin was pale, shaking like a leaf, lips having gone almost completely blue, but he was alive—  _ Thank the Maker, he’s alive _ .

“You’re ok, you’re alright,” Wonshik tried to soothe him, his voice still shaky but laced with affection, and Hongbin reaction to the words was to turn around and latch himself to Wonshik, face hidden on his chest as he sobbed and blabbered incoherently. Wonshik, not expecting that reaction, only had the presence of mind to hold Hongbin tight and whisper, “I have you, Binnie, you’re safe. You’re safe.”

Sanghyuk looked away, suddenly feeling like he was witnessing something he shouldn’t, and instead looked towards Hakyeon, who had dropped to the floor with relief, a hand over his heart as he tried to calm his breathing. Taekwoon was silent next to him, having decided to give Hakyeon a second to gather himself. And Jaehwan—

Sanghyuk turned to him, and his heart broke once he saw the quiet tears streaming down his face. Sanghyuk acted on impulse and strode over to him, holding back on the last second not to pull him into a hug. “Jyani?”

Jaehwan turned to face him, a frail smile on his lips as he wiped the tear tracks away with his wet sleeve, “I’m alright.”

“You sure?”

“Yeah, I was a little scared but I’m alright now. Promise!” Jaehwan added when Sanghyuk gave him an unconvinced look.

“Alright. I’ll believe you,” he replied, a fond smile tugging at the corner of his own lips. “Did you get hurt?”

“No, I’m alright. Swallowed a fuckton of gross water, though.”

Sanghyuk snorted and agreed with a motion of his head, “Yeah, me too.”

“Let’s give them a second,” Jaehwan suggested, “Maybe we can try to find a way out in the meantime?”

“Sounds like a solid plan.”

Jaehwan turned to go look for a way out and Sanghyuk, going against his instincts, his habits, went the other way. Keeping away from Jaehwan was hard, harder than he thought it would be, but he was getting there - he would get there. He wanted Jaehwan to be well, for him to be comfortable and safe, so he would fight himself to make it happen. If he was a source of discomfort, he would stay away.

Maker, it was so  _ difficult _ . How could he see Jaehwan, hear his voice, and not want to be near him? To touch him? It felt he was walking away and leaving his very heart behind.

But no. It was for Jaehwan. He was doing it for Jaehwan and he would do anything for Jaehwan.

As he walked away, though, he immediately noticed that maybe being away from Jaehwan in that particular situation was not the best option, because— Light. There was no light. The further he got from Jaehwan, the less light reached him since the light was coming from his staff, so, sighing once he reached a point where he couldn’t see an inch away from his nose, Sanghyuk begrudgingly turned around.

“Jaehwan—”

Oh.

Jaehwan was staring at him. And he looked— Confused.

The moment their eyes met, though, Jaehwan jolted and turned his face away awkwardly, like one does when they’re caught staring, and Sanghyuk barely contained a satisfied smile.

“U-uh, yes, did you need something?” Jaehwan asked after clearing his throat and fixing his posture to look more natural.

“Yes, I— May I have one of those light orbs, please?” Sanghyuk asked, using the politeness taught to him all his life instead of demanding it as he would usually do when it came to Jaehwan.

From the way Jaehwan’s expression shifted at the request, he noticed the difference too. “Yes, of course, here.”

Jaehwan made a motion with his hand as if plucking air out of the crystal on the top of his staff, and it was like the light there split into two. Sanghyuk stared, amazed, impressed, as Jaehwan simply tossed the little wisp of light his way. He flinched, worried it would hit him, but it didn’t - it just floated over and stayed there, hovering by his ear.

Jaehwan chuckled at his reaction, the sight of it making Sanghyuk’s heart do that funny thing it did whenever Jaehwan smiled.

“If I wanted to hurt you I’d throw a fireball, Your Highness.”

Sanghyuk grinned awkwardly, ducking his head and scratching the back of his neck, “A-ah, you’re right, you— You caught me a little off guard, is all.”

“Hm.” Jaehwan hummed, not looking convinced at all, and Sanghyuk decided to get moving before he made even more of a fool of himself than he already had.

“I’ll keep searching then.”

“Yeah, sure, I’ll search too.” Jaehwan motioned a bit clumsily to someplace behind him and turned away from Sanghyuk, who barely held in a sigh of relief.

That was certainly an odd exchange.

Turning around, Sanghyuk stopped for a second to check on the others; Hongbin was still in the middle of a breakdown, but this time he was sobbing on Hakyeon’s shoulder, who was holding him tight and crying along with him, while Taekwoon stood next to them like he didn’t know what to do with himself and Wonshik rubbed soothing circles on Hongbin’s back. Sanghyuk swallowed down the lump that formed in his own throat - it had been so close. They almost lost Hongbin, maybe had actually lost him for a while there, and what would they have done if Hongbin had died? They couldn’t just— Just leave him there, in that awful place, like he was nothing, just like what had happened to his parents who were burnt to ashes and bones and piled outside like— Like—

Sanghyuk shook his head. No, he would not think of his parents, he would not think of that night. It was not the right time for that. 

He looked away from the scene and continued on his way to find an exit, searching the walls of rock carefully for any opening, paying attention to any drafts of air, anything that could point them to a way out of that cave. Maybe Jaehwan could blow a hole through one of the walls…? No, that could cause the entire place to crumble on top of them, and then they’d never leave. What if there was no way out? They would die there, die of dehydration or starvation and it was not going to be pretty and it was not going to be dignified and his companions— His  _ friends _ didn’t deserve a fate like that.

He searched harder, examining the walls from side to side, top to bottom, but he couldn’t feel anything, see anything. They couldn’t even try to swim through the tunnel that brought them there because the current was just too strong and Hongbin would probably not be keen on tempting fate again.

Hope was becoming harder and harder to find, harder to keep alive, despair beginning to set in. They were trapped. They were trapped who knew how far underground, and there was no way out. They were going to die there. In the dark, in the cold.

“Hyogi!” Jaehwan’s voice broke through that blanket of terror that had begun to surround him and he spun around to give him attention, the orb’s light flickering next to him. “I think I’ve found something.”

Sanghyuk didn’t hesitate to move closer to where Jaehwan was standing but didn’t stop right next to him - no, he stopped a couple steps away, making sure there was no way he would even accidentally touch Jaehwan. It was tempting to cause such an ‘accident’, but he was doing it for Jaehwan. For Jaehwan.

“What did you find?”

Jaehwan shot him a strange look from the corners of his eyes that Sanghyuk didn’t know how to interpret before crouching down to point at an opening very close to the floor. “Here, I think it’s a passage.”

Sanghyuk lowered himself to the floor to get a closer look and, indeed, he could feel a draft and see an opening about the size of his hand in the middle of a group of rocks. “I think you’re right.”

“I can try to clear the entrance.”

“What?” Sanghyuk asked, wide-eyed, head moving up so fast he got a bit dizzy. “You can’t, you exhausted yourself up there not too long ago, I don’t want you to overwork yourself and get hurt.”

“I’m alright,” Jaehwan told him with a little grin. “These rocks don’t look as heavy as the others, it should be easier to just get them out of the way.”

“Are you sure? I can move these by hand, they don’t seem heavy at all.” Sanghyuk offered, looking up at Jaehwan expectantly; again, Jaehwan looked at him strangely.

“I’m sure, it shouldn’t be too difficult.”

“Don’t you want to at least rest for a moment? Have some water?”

“Our water is almost over and our belongings are probably all soaked through after what just happened. We need every bit of clean water we still have.” Jaehwan said, very serious, and Sanghyuk sighed, unsure of what to do. He didn’t like how stubborn Jaehwan was being, but it was not like he could just force him to sit down for five minutes and have a sip of water. Jaehwan was free to make his choices - king or not, Sanghyuk had to allow him that.

“Alright.” He said at last, resigned to how thick headed and impossible his Arcane Advisor was - which was likely a good trait to have in that line of work. Compromising, however, seemed like a much better option. “But after you do this, please rest?”

Jaehwan opened his mouth to reply, clearly aiming for something along the lines ‘no, I do what I want’, but something in Jaehwan’s demeanor shifted, expression softening and instead he said, “Of course.”

Sanghyuk sighed, relieved, and smiled at Jaehwan. “Thank you, Jyani.”

Jaehwan didn’t reply to that, only looking away and standing back up. Sanghyuk followed suit, taking a step back under the guise of giving Jaehwan space to work, and quietly watched as Jaehwan, looking exhausted and ready to collapse, used his magic to move a couple large rocks aside to reveal what was, indeed, a tunnel. Sanghyuk crouched down again, the little wisp of light shining next to him, allowing him to see some into the tunnel - not far, but enough.

“We have to check if it’s not a dead end,” Sanghyuk muttered as he stood up. “Maybe ask Taekwoon to send down one of the demons to see if there’s an exit.”

“Good plan.” Jaehwan nodded at him weakly after speaking, bracing himself against the wall with one hand. “I need a second.”

“Are you alright? You’re very pale.” Sanghyuk said, looking at Jaehwan with increasing concern.

“Yeah, just— Can you—” Jaehwan trailed off and extended his free hand towards Sanghyuk, silently asking for his help, and, of course, Sanghyuk reached out to take his hand and support him as he led him closer to the others. Once there, he immediately let go after helping Jaehwan to sit down; he couldn’t indulge anymore, couldn’t— Couldn’t let himself fall back on the behavior he was trying to change. 

“Drink some water,” he instructed Jaehwan, “you can drink mine, even, I’ll give my share to you. I’ll go talk to Taekwoon in the meantime.”

He didn’t wait for Jaehwan’s response, turning on his heels and walking away towards Taekwoon, who was still standing nearby as Hakyeon and Wonshik comforted Hongbin. Now that he was closer and with the help from the light provided by the wisp, he could that Hongbin already looked much more— Alive. His lips weren’t blue anymore, they were still somehow pale but closer to their normal color, and his cheeks were splotchy and red from all the crying. He was alive. He was alive.

Taekwoon noticed his approach and raised his head to acknowledge him, and Sanghyuk leaned in close to whisper without disrupting the other three and whispered, “We might have found a way out.”

Taekwoon’s eyebrows shot up with interest and he said back in his feather-like voice, “Where is it?”

“It’s a tunnel, Jaehwan found it.” He informed. “Is it possible to send Fear or Deceit inside to see if there’s an exit?”

Taekwoon nodded and whistled, just a sharp, quick little sound, and one of the ravens materialized on his shoulder, “You can take Deceit there, it’ll be able to find any hidden passages.”

“Thank you,” Sanghyuk said, just as the raven hopped onto his own shoulder. Glancing at Hongbin, he asked in a lower tone, “Is he alright?”

“Just shaken,” Taekwoon replied. “He’s already much calmer than before.”

“He looks better.”

“Mm, he is. He is very strong.”

Sanghyuk shot Taekwoon a sideways smiled and said, “But we already knew that.”

Taekwoon’s reply was only a smile and, with nothing else to say, Sanghyuk walked away with Deceit back to the tunnel, but not even halfway there the demon just took flight and zoomed right into the passage, leaving Sanghyuk standing there, dumbstruck. 

“Ok then, have fun.” He said to the empty tunnel and turned around to walk to where Jaehwan was and sit down next to him - close, but not too close. Respectfully close. Jaehwan, to his relief, was sipping water from his own cantil, and softly he asked, “Feeling better?”

“Yeah, a little bit,” Jaehwan replied, staring into the cantil’s opening. “What I need is to sleep for a few hours, then I’ll be good as new.”

“I’d suggest we all camp out here for a moment, but I don’t think this place is very safe.” Sanghyuk mused as he watched the raging waters ahead. “If a wyvern falls in the marsh up there it’ll be trapped right here with us, and that is the worst thing that could happen right now.”

“You’re going to jinx us like this.” Jaehwan sighed, closing his cantil and shoving it back into his soaked pack. “Ugh, my books are probably ruined.”

“And smelly.”

“Shush.”

Sanghyuk chuckled while Jaehwan gave him a dirty look, although he could see some amusement in his expression. He didn’t let his eyes linger on Jaehwan for long, though, and instead turned his attention to Hongbin. He wasn’t crying anymore, now back to clinging onto Wonshik like a child as Wonshik whispered what were probably soothing words into his ear, holding him tight and close, and again Sanghyuk felt like he shouldn’t be witnessing that. He looked down instead, to the rocks that made up the floor of that cave.

He wanted to scoot closer to Jaehwan, wanted to hold him tight and whisper sweet nothings in his ear, just like Wonshik was doing with Hongbin, just like he’d seen Hakyeon and Taekwoon doing. He just wanted to— To  _ love _ Jaehwan, cover him with affection, remind him how incredible, how amazing he was at every minute of every hour of every day. Instead, he had to sit at arm’s length from him and keep his eyes down; maybe that was the biggest gesture of love he could offer Jaehwan at that moment. Maybe that’s what Jaehwan needed.

Except, no, it wasn’t what Jaehwan needed - Jaehwan needed comfort. He’d been having meltdown after meltdown during the last couple of days, and he needed to be soothed. But who could give him that? It wasn’t him, Sanghyuk knew. If Sanghyuk tried, Jaehwan would push him away.

And someone like Jaehwan— Jaehwan was lovable. Friendly, expressive. Certainly, he had someone, somewhere, maybe back in Cumberland, maybe in Nevarra City. Sanghyuk didn’t know - he didn’t know much about Jaehwan at all, as it turned out. The more he found out, the more he loved him, though. Jaehwan was so— He had everything. He was kind, he was smart, he was fun. He had a smile that could melt the heart of the toughest warrior.

He must have someone. Somewhere. Someone that had a hold on his affections much like he had a hold on Sanghyuk’s. A person with a heart as big as Jaehwan’s— Certainly. He must have someone. Someone in Cumberland, maybe. Waiting for him.

After everything was over, the whole deal with the jewel and the cultists, would Jaehwan want to leave? Would Sanghyuk be strong enough to let him go?

“Sanghyuk?”

He raised his head upon hearing Jaehwan’s voice, and, again, he was watching him with that strange, undecipherable look in his eyes. “Yes?”

“Are you alright?” Jaehwan asked. “You looked— Sad.”

Sanghyuk smiled, but it was— Well, sad. “Not much to be happy about lately. I’m alright, though.”

Jaehwan tilted his head to one side, in that way that never failed to remind Sanghyuk of a puppy, and asked, “Do you need a hug?”

That Sanghyuk hadn’t jumped from the sheer shock that question brought was a wonder in itself; that he hadn’t reacted with more than a chuckle and a confused frown, nothing short of a miracle. “What— No, I’m alright.”

Jaehwan pursed his lips and nodded.

And that was that.

Sanghyuk made sure to keep the line of his gaze away from Jaehwan’s general direction, focusing instead on the ground, or the ceiling, or the walls, or the water, occasionally glancing at Hongbin who was slowly getting a hold of himself. He could only imagine his terror - he’d feared dying too as he tumbled underwater, swallowing that disgusting green muck, all his plans for the future flashing before his eyes and the knowledge he might not be alive to fulfill them choking him more than the lack of oxygen could.

He shuddered and forced himself to think happier thoughts, even if those were difficult to find when they were stranded in some underground cave with very little water, and their food, at least a good portion of it, was probably ruined and—

The loud flapping of wings caused him to jump where he sat, Deceit flying by him and landing on Taekwoon’s shoulder easily. Taekwoon barely even flinched, and Sanghyuk would be envious of his control if he didn’t already know that Taekwoon had been around the demons for several years. He watched expectantly as Taekwoon leaned his head towards the birds as if listening to a voice only he could hear, nodding slightly after a few seconds and turning to Sanghyuk.

“The tunnels do lead to an exit, but they are very narrow and go on for quite a while.”

“Tunnels?” Hakyeon piped up, perking up his head and looking from Taekwoon to Sanghyuk questioningly. “What tunnels?”

“Jaehwan and Sanghyuk found a passage,” Taekwoon informed, “Deceit just came back from exploring it.”

“Oh, so there’s a way out?” Hakyeon asked, beginning to push himself up before accepting a hand Taekwoon had offered to help him.

“It appears so.”

“Let’s get going then.”

All heads turned to Hongbin, who was shakily getting back on his feet, expression stiff as if set in stone, determination burning in his eyes. Wonshik hurried to get back up, keeping close to Hongbin but not so close that he would smother him.

“We can wait a while longer, Binnie,” Hakyeon said, careful, and Hongbin shook his head.

“No, I’m fine. We stayed here long enough.”

Nobody had the heart to argue, and so they gathered all their belongings and shuffled towards the entrance to the tunnel. They stopped to eye the small passage warily.

“So… Who wants to go first?” Sanghyuk asked, trying to be cheery, but nobody was buying it.

“Hakyeon should go first since he’s the smallest out of us,” Wonshik suggested, getting a pleading look from Hakyeon in response.

“I agree,” Taekwoon said, and Hakyeon turned to him looking like the picture of betrayal. Taekwoon was quick to add, “I’ll be right behind you, ma vhenan.”

Hakyeon let out a small whimper and mumbled, “You’re lucky you’re so cute.”

Sanghyuk felt that sensation that was becoming more and more familiar to him, that feeling of emptiness, like a black hole had opened somewhere inside of him and was sucking out his insides, leaving only a cold, empty void behind. He looked away and tuned out their conversation. He didn’t like feeling like that.

They sorted out their belongings, tying some of it to their ankles with ropes and setting the heavier things apart to push them ahead of themselves, and one by one they entered the passage - Hakyeon, followed by Taekwoon, Jaehwan, Sanghyuk himself, Hongbin and Wonshik closing the procession. 

Deceit was not wrong when it told Taekwoon the tunnels were narrow - Sanghyuk had to wiggle quite a bit to get his broad shoulders to fit, and even then he had to position himself in a way to make himself smaller, which was by no means an easy feat.

“A-ah, Daeguni, you kicked me!” Jaehwan’s voice echoed in the tunnel, followed by a soft ‘sorry’ from Taekwoon.

“Can you guys move faster? A turtle is quicker than us at this point.” Hongbin complained behind him.

“I think I’m stuck— Oh, nevermind, I’m good.” Hakyeon said all the way from the front, and a shriek that echoed all around them followed right after, “What was that!?”

“I touched your ankle,” Taekwoon replied.

“Oh. Sorry.”

They continue on like that for quite a while, progressing slowly inside the tight, dark passage. It was cold and stuffy, forcing their breathing to be shallow, not enough air for them to be able to breathe easily. Sanghyuk never really had a problem with small, enclosed spaces, but after this tunnel that was certain to be changed. If the ceiling collapsed on top of them, they’d be buried alive under the debris. The thought was not comforting but it was a constant, and the further in they crawled, more and more he felt like the space got smaller around him, the walls of the tunnels closing in on them.

The tunnels became narrower and narrower, forcing them to slow down even more, and now the panic, the increased apprehension they were all feeling, was palpable. He could hear Jaehwan’s heavy breathing, the sound bouncing on the walls back to him, and Sanghyuk wanted so hard to do something, to ease Jaehwan’s fear and discomfort somehow, but they were all in the same situation.

It was so dark. The smell of rocks and earth was so potent it burned his nostrils, already abused from the time spent in the Plains - he’d probably have a nosebleed again, and there was not even enough space to hold his head up to lessen the bleeding. Jaehwan couldn’t turn around to help either, so if he got a nosebleed too strong he might end up bleeding to death; was that even possible?

Possible or not, now the thought was in his head.

It didn’t help.

“Shit.”

Hakyeon’s strained voice and the concerned tone didn’t help with his nerves.

“What?” Hongbin asked, harsh, but the harshness was only a device to hide his fear.

“Now I’m really stuck.”

“Are you sure?” Taekwoon asked. “You can’t move at all?”

“No, I’m really stuck,” Hakyeon said, breathy, shaky. “It’s too narrow, my shoulders won’t move back or forward, shit, shit, shit—”

“Hakyeon, easy,” Taekwoon said, trying to soothe his lover. “It’ll be worse if you give in to panic.”

“Taekwoonie,” Hakyeon called, not only a little desperate, “if we don’t make it—”

“Don’t say that—”

“I love you, ok? I love you with my whole heart, and— Shit, I don’t want us to die here, there’s so much I want to share with you, I want to take you to Rivain and I want to bake cookies for you and I want to sail somewhere with you because you said you’d never been on a real ship before, and I want—”

“Hakyeon, hey, stop,” Taekwoon said, gentle. “We’ll do all of it, we’ll make it somehow.”

“Taek— I can’t breathe—”

“Yes, you can. Here, can you feel my hand on your leg?”

“Yes.”

“When I tap your leg, you breathe in slowly, ok?”

“Ok.”

There was only quiet then, their ragged respirations the only sound in those tiny tunnels, Hakyeon’s panic not helping matters. Sanghyuk didn’t want to admit, neither out loud or to himself, but he, too, was having trouble breathing. There was not enough air to go around, and with their panic, there was even less air. They were going to die there, suffocate to death because there was no air for them to breathe.

Maybe Hakyeon had the right idea.

Sanghyuk dragged himself forward, just enough so he could reach Jaehwan and place a hand on his leg, just over his calf. “Jyani?”

“Yeah?” Jaehwan muttered in return, a whisper that was loud enough that he could hear.

“I— You—” Sanghyuk stammered, unsure how to start now that the time had come. “I just wanted you to know that— That I—”

An ominous rumble echoed through the tunnels, the ground shaking underneath them, and immediately all hell broke loose - it was one pushing the other, not knowing if they should try going forward or back, screaming incoherently, each one saying a different thing, an endless cacophony in the dark.

Another rumble, louder this time, and the ground shook again and Hakyeon was screaming and dust was falling in his eyes, stinging, and there was a loud crash, the sound of— Of water.

Jaehwan’s leg, where he was still resting his hand, suddenly moved as if he was being dragged away, and Sanghyuk grabbed onto his ankle out of instinct. Jaehwan shouted, and through his blurry vision Sanghyuk saw light -  _ Light _ . Not much, but there. He didn’t have time to rejoice in it, because Jaehwan was still being pulled— No,  _ falling _ , falling through the ground that had broken under their weight, and Sanghyuk let his pack fall in favor of using both his hands to hold onto both of Jaehwan’s ankles. Hongbin grabbed onto Sanghyuk’s just in time because he too began falling, half of his body hanging from the crater while holding Jaehwan.

“Hakyeon!” Hongbin shouted from behind him, “Hakyeon, are you alright?”

Sanghyuk couldn’t see much beyond Jaehwan’s hanging form, but what he could see was— Not exactly bad. There was water, a lot of it, and not murky and disgusting like the one in the marsh, but clean. He could hear a stream somewhere, far away - they were probably under a river of some sort.

“We’re fine!” Came Hakyeon’s response. “You can drop Jaehwan, it’s safe! We got him!”

“Letting go!” Sanghyuk warned before carefully easing his grip of Jaehwan’s ankles, and true to Hakyeon’s words, they got him once he dropped - it was a large calm pool of clear water, only deep enough to reach Taekwoon about chest level. Turning slightly around to look at Hongbin, Sanghyuk said, “You can let go.”

“Alright.” Hongbin didn’t think twice and let go of Sanghyuk, who squawked as he fell headfirst into the cold water. The moment it happened though, there were already hands helping him up - Hakyeon’s.

“There, got ya.”

“Thanks,” Sanghyuk mumbled, rubbing his hands on his face to get rid of the excess water so he could see properly before fishing out his packs from the water and beginning to waddle his way to the nearest shore. 

Jaehwan was already sitting there, legs in the water, shivering, but alive. He was alive. They were all alive.

Maybe they would actually make it.

 

✶✶✶

 

After the terrible few days they had spent wandering the Silent Plains, that underground pool of fresh water was paradise. Sure, their food was running out and all of their belongings were soaked, but at least they had clean water to drink and wash with - no more green muck and ashes clinging to their skin, no more smell of sweat and decay.

And that cave was— Very cool. A very cool cave. It was huge, for one; the natural ventilation there was also good since there were little spots on the stone ceiling through which water constantly poured through, and from where light and fresh air also got in. The pool was probably a result of the constant dripping of water wearing down the ground over the centuries, which was supported by how the pool was much deeper on the area where the leakage was concentrated. Around the pool was rock - just rock, no dirt, no mud. There were mushrooms and other types of fungi along the walls and the corners of the ceiling, thriving with the humidity and darkness of the place, and those were fluorescent, faintly glowing greens and blues, like little constellations.

It was likely one of the coolest places Wonshik had ever step foot on.

And there was an exit, not a tunnel, but an actual passage - Taekwoon sent out Deceit to explore it, and Deceit had returned several minutes later with news that it led directly to the Deep Roads. Not ideal, but at least they could find a way back to the surface from the Deep Roads.

They decided against going to the Deep Roads right away, though; they were all tired, and that cave was the perfect place to rest, get their bearings, figure out a new course of action. Jaehwan set up a barrier on the exit that led to the Deep Roads, and they went through their belongings to see what was salvageable and what they’d have to leave behind or get rid of.

Half of their food was gone - the grains survived, and so did the very few vegetables and fruits, but all the rest had been spoiled by the water. Jaehwan’s books had gotten wet, but thanks to the fact that he was a bit obsessed with book safety, he’d wrapped the tomes with various layers of cloth - they were (mostly) salvageable. 

Hakyeon’s romance novels were completely ruined, on the other hand.

After that it was all about sorting through their things and cleaning up what they could; Wonshik offered himself to clean their weapons and armor, while Taekwoon and Hakyeon decided to wash their clothes. Hongbin wanted to help despite their efforts to convince him to rest, perhaps try to sleep for a bit, but he was adamant that he wanted to do something to keep himself distracted - so he was in charge of doing inventory of their food supplies and washing the remaining edibles so they could make dinner. Sanghyuk and Jaehwan, however, were so hyper with the discovery of clean water that trying to get them to settle down was useless, so they just let them go play in the water or whatever it was they were doing. It looked like they were sparring, in fact. As long as they weren’t causing trouble they could do whatever they wanted.

Wonshik was focused on his task of cleaning the mud that clung to their armor, scrubbing the metal clean until everything was shining like mirrors, no hurry and no worries. It was the first time after days when he didn’t feel the need to be on edge - they were safe. They had water, they had air, they had food, they could make a fire and they were not completely exposed to the elements. The cultists would not be able to find them down there, mostly because not even they knew where they were, and any threats could be dealt with easily since every available entrance was either too small or was blocked by magic.

Truth was, he was trying to keep himself distracted - Hongbin had almost died. He’d almost lost him, he’d almost lost the absolute love of his life, his best friend; Hongbin almost died, and he’d almost died  _ in his arms _ . He didn’t want to think about it, didn’t want to think about how wrong everything could have gone. To have Hongbin back, to be so close to him again after so many years, only to lose him forever— No. Unthinkable. Unfathomable, impossible. It just could not be. He would be dead, just like Jimin was dead, and Jimin had died scared and alone and he wasn’t there to— 

No. He scrubbed armor after armor, weapon after weapon, and forced himself to think about anything but the possibility of losing Hongbin. He thought about food instead. They could make some pea soup. They had a lot of peas. They had beans too. Bean soup could be nice.

He was so engrossed in his food thoughts that he only noticed Hongbin had sat down beside him when he called his name.

“Wonshik?”

Wonshik blinked himself out of his daze and turned to Hongbin, immediately frowning at his unusually subdued stance - rounded shoulders, head low, nervously wringing his fingers and biting his lips.

“Are you alright, Bin?” 

“Yes, I’m fine, just—” Hongbin paused, raising his eyes to meet Wonshik’s, expression unreadable, “You… You saved my life.”

Wonshik swallowed the lump that was lodged in his throat, his stomach sinking with the thoughts of what the alternative was. “Of course I did. I couldn’t just let you die.”

“I— I just wanted to say— Thank you.” Hongbin stammered, eyes lowering to the ground again, cheeks becoming pink. Wonshik’s heart suddenly felt too full, his love for Hongbin overflowing, dripping down adoration all over his insides.

“A-ah. It was nothing.” He muttered; he wasn’t sure how to respond, and he didn’t truly think it was nothing, but it was like his capacity for comprehension had left and gone home. 

Hongbin shook his head, gaze snapping back up and his brown eyes were glimmering, so intense, so lovely, “You’re wrong. You’re wrong, it was— It was everything.”

“Bin, you know that I—”

Wonshik never finished that sentence - before he could, Hongbin had grabbed him by the collar of his shirt with both hands and yanked him forward, almost causing him to lose his balance and slip off his perch on the rock, but he didn’t. No, he didn’t, because Hongbin was holding him, Hongbin was— Kissing him.

It didn’t register in his mind at first, what was happening. His brain immediately took him to that night over a decade ago, under the lanterns hanging from the vhenadahl, the faint taste of caramel on Hongbin’s lips, the texture and the smells and that feeling of little ice cubes floating inside his stomach. Hongbin kissing him then, at that moment, after all that time— He felt the same way, but also different and he couldn’t put his finger on  _ why _ or  _ how _ was it different, but it was. It was— More.

Hongbin’s lips didn’t taste of caramel and there were no lanterns, there was no music. There was the noise of water splashing where Sanghyuk and Jaehwan were running around, laughter echoing in the stone walls of the cavern, the sound of his own wild heart pounding in his eardrums.

He didn’t have time to process for Hongbin pulled away after a few brief seconds, staring at Wonshik wide-eyed like he was surprised at himself for the action. He was clearly not planning on kissing him.

“I—” Hongbin began, stuttering, beginning to back away, “I should— I have to—”

_ Wait, no, don’t go _ , his brain was saying, but his mouth seemed to have forgotten how to function because he just couldn’t say anything, couldn’t do anything but to stare at Hongbin, slack-jawed and struck dumb. 

“I’m sorry, I— I don’t—” Hongbin began to turn away, and that’s when Wonshik finally snapped out of his shock-induced trance and took action.

He grabbed Hongbin’s wrist, firm but gentle enough not to hurt him, and pulled him back, hooking his other hand to the back of his neck once he was close enough to keep him in place, and before he could think himself out of it— He kissed him again.

This time… This time it was completely different.

Like the world had shifted and everything clicked in place, stars and planets aligning, fitting together just like how Hongbin’s lips seemed to fit his, lock and key. It felt like coming home after years -  _ twelve years _ \- away. His entire body was reacting to it, each and every cell alive, tingling, sparkling like there were tiny little explosions going off all over him, and the sensation only got stronger once Hongbin’s tongue met his, and  _ oh so this is what all those songs and poems are about _ —

Hongbin pulled away, flushed and panting, pupils blown wide and pretty lips parted. “This is a really terrible idea.”

Wonshik didn’t even think before shaking his head and pulling Hongbin to himself again, mumbling against his lips before diving into another kiss, “I don’t care.”

 

✶✶✶

 

“You’re doing it wrong!” Sanghyuk said. “You keep flinching, you can’t flinch.”

“But it’s scary!” Jaehwan said back, pouting. “I’m not used to having people come at me with swords, and your sword is scary.”

“It’s not, it’s not even covered in blood!” Sanghyuk pointed out and laughed at Jaehwan’s horrified expression. “I’ll try to be less scary.”

Jaehwan pursed his lips and nodded; he didn’t have much choice anyway, not after he set his mind into learning to defend himself from close ranged attacks. He was distracted, though.

His mind was far away— Or not far away at all, but focused on the young king-to-be before him. Sanghyuk was acting strange. He wasn’t whining as much as he usually would, for starters. He was also not looking at him much, not standing so close to him like often did, not— Not trying to touch him. He was being  _ polite _ , when before he’d been a noisy brat who constantly craved attention.

Jaehwan figured it was only because they were smelling like wet garbage left out in the sun before, but they had all bathed and Sanghyuk still was not coming near him, not more than what would be necessary. It was… Unsettling. Jaehwan was used to Sanghyuk’s antics after so many years being around him, he was used to always be bracing himself for Sanghyuk’s sudden touches or being mentally prepared to have to deal with his cries for attention, and now, out of nowhere, those traits of him were just…  _ Gone _ .

Had he done something wrong? No, it couldn’t be, Sanghyuk would have said something if Jaehwan had wronged him in any way, or at least treat him harshly, which he wasn’t doing. He was being kind and polite and caring, all of which were also… Not strange, per se, but also not that common when it came to Sanghyuk. The kid sassed even his own mother when she was alive, and Jaehwan couldn’t think of anyone Sanghyuk treated as well as he was suddenly treating him. Something was up.

He’d been trying to figure it out. Coming close to Sanghyuk just to see how he’d react, offering him hugs, acting cute. Sanghyuk didn’t seem to care about any of it, treating him just like— Like his Arcane Advisor. Which he was, but he never had treated him like that before, he was never exactly respectful. He was a brat. Sanghyuk had always been a brat, spoiled and attention-starved. And now—

Something was up.

And it was bugging him tremendously.

It wasn’t something bad, of course not - it was the type of behavior Jaehwan had tried to get Sanghyuk to follow since ever. He just never managed to make it happen before, so why now. He didn’t understand, no matter how much he tried to grind his brain into comprehending Sanghyuk’s thought process.

“Alright, let’s get back to it,” Sanghyuk said, rolling his shoulders. The idiot had no shirt on, so Jaehwan could see each and every muscle of his torso shifting with the movement; he forced himself to keep his eyes on Sanghyuk’s face instead. “Don’t flinch this time, you need to hold your ground.”

“I can’t hold my ground if I’m already holding my staff.”

That joke made Sanghyuk bark a laugh that endeared Jaehwan to his core, his eyes crinkling in the corners and his nose scrunching up in the most adorable way. Jaehwan’s mouth felt conspicuously dry and he decided to look away.

Bad move, in hindsight.

He was met with the scene of Taekwoon and Hakyeon sitting side by side, close enough that they seemed to be trying to merge into each other, giggling while washing clothes on the other side of the pool. He then moved his line of sight to where Wonshik had been sitting, only to find him kissing Hongbin - good for him, by the way - and that certainly didn’t help. It only served to make him even more conscious of Sanghyuk and the distance between them and how they were the only two who were not being all over each other.

“I think we might be intruding.” Jaehwan wryly said, hearing Sanghyuk scoff.

He heard the water sloshing and splashing around him to betray Sanhyuk’s approach, as they were standing somewhere where it reached their ankles, and Jaehwan had to try very hard not to flinch with the proximity.

“You know,” Sanghyuk said, and it didn’t escape Jaehwan’s notice how his tone had dropped to a lower pitch, “there’s one way to solve that.”

He was so close. So very close, and Jaehwan felt like his breath kept getting stuck in his lungs, his entire body tense with expectation. It would be so easy for someone of Sanghyuk’s stature and strength to grab him, pin him down, hold him close. Other than his magic, Jaehwan would not be able to physically fight and he would never, for no reason, no matter what, use his magic against Sanghyuk.

And maybe, just maybe, he didn’t want to fight him in the off chance Sanghyuk did pin him down.

The thought was enough to spook Jaehwan back to his senses and he forced a little chuckle before saying, “Nice try.”

Sanghyuk sighed in affectation and said, “One day you won’t be able to resist my princely charms.”

Jaehwan snorted and shot Sanghyuk an amused glare, “Oh please, you couldn’t handle me in your dreams, Your Highness.”

“ _ Oh? _ ” Sanghyuk scoffed, poking Jaehwan’s side and making him jerk away when it tickled. “Couldn’t handle you? You’re the one who couldn’t handle me.”

“You’re so full of shit!” Jaehwan gasped with outrage and poked Sanghyuk back, receiving another poke in response.

And somehow… Someway… It just devolved into a tickle fight.

Jaehwan was very ticklish, always had been, but he never knew Sanghyuk to be that ticklish as well, and hearing him giggle and laugh loud and wild and in complete abandon— It did things to his heart. Things he didn’t want - or should - acknowledge. And not only his heart, but Sanghyuk being so close, Jaehwan touching him, skin to skin, his fingertips brushing Sanghyuk’s exposed abdomen, his sides, his arms— It made him dizzy. He wanted more, but he didn’t want to want more. It was wrong, it was unprofessional, inappropriate. Thinking of Sanghyuk that way was just not right.

He was just sexually frustrated. How long since the last time he was intimate with someone? Several years. And he’d only been with one person and before he moved to Castrum Draconis, so— That was definitely it, he was just frustrated and tired and in need of physical comfort. And Sanghyuk being so distant was not helping matters.

And why did he care if Sanghyuk was being distant? He didn’t care. At all. It’s not like he missed him or anything.

Because he didn’t. He did  _ not _ .

He tried to shift his target area from Sanghyuk’s middle to his neck, and the change in his attention gave Sanghyuk the chance to catch him off guard. Before he knew it, Jaehwan was facing the ceiling of the cave and his back was in the water, a weight pressing down on him - Sanghyuk straddling him and holding his hands up so they couldn’t reach him, and how, in Andraste’s smokey farts, did he get himself into that situation? Worse, how was he getting out of it?

Both of them stopped everything, Sanghyuk still with laughter in his expression and Jaehwan staring up at him, stunned. He couldn’t say he’d ever seen Sanghyuk from that angle, but— It wasn’t a bad angle. The light that leaked into the cave from the small openings in the ceiling gave Sanghyuk a bright silvery outline, the wet scales on his body glittering, the reflection of the water dancing over his skin, and Jaehwan— Wanted. He couldn’t want, but he did, and he hated himself from head to toes for wanting.

He wanted to reach out and touch, wanted to trace the edges of where Sanghyuk’s scales met his skin with his fingertips, wanted to pull him closer. And he saw - he did not imagine, he  _ saw _ \- the split second where Sanghyuk’s eyes moved to his lips;  _ do it _ , he thought,  _ just do it. _

He didn’t. Instead, Sanghyuk cleared his throat and let go of Jaehwan’s hands before saying, “I think we— It’s better if we take a break, you’re probably tired after— After everything. I’ll see if Hakyeon needs help with the clothes.”

And just like that, he pushed himself up and scurried away towards the other side of the pool where Hakyeon was.

Jaehwan shivered, Sanghyuk’s warmth already being missed, and slowly he pushed himself up to a sitting position, staring at the surface of the water in a daze. What the fuck had just happened? What was he doing? What was Sanghyuk doing? What was his stupid brain doing, thinking of touching the future _ king _ ? What was wrong with him, what—

Jaehwan shook his head and took a deep breath, before gathering some cold water in his cupped hands and throwing it on his face. He was tired. He was just tired and not thinking clearly, he just needed a good night’s rest. And maybe a hug. Or ten.

He was fine. It didn’t mean anything. He was just lonely and projecting those feelings on Sanghyuk, it would pass once they joined civilization again. Maybe he should even sneak away to visit a brothel - he never had before, didn’t have the first clue of how it worked, but it was certainly better than fantasizing about the future king of Nevarra. Who was certainly in love with someone else; he hated to remember that, but it was true. Sanghyuk was definitely enamored with someone, which only made everything that much worse.

But he would get over himself. For Sanghyuk’s sake, he would get a fucking grip.

 

✶✶✶

 

“Daeguni, hug me!” Jaehwan whined as he came running and all but threw himself over Taekwoon, who lost his balance and almost toppled over. Hakyeon rolled his eyes and laughed at the look of displeasure on his love’s face.

“Careful, if Taekwoonie doesn’t kick your ass, I will,” Hakyeon said casually, and Jaehwan huffed and looked back at him, a huge pout on his face. He didn’t let go of Taekwoon, however.

“Don’t be mean to me, I really need a hug right now,” Jaehwan said, still in his whiny voice, draped over Taekwoon’s shoulders. “Daeguni is the only one I can hug.”

“Have you tried asking Sanghyuk for a hug?” Hakyeon commented, keeping his eyes on the shirt he was rinsing in the water. He didn’t have to look to know Jaehwan was blushing. “I’m sure he’d give you one. And I’ve hugged him before, he’s very warm. Maybe because of the dragon blood.”

“Hakyeon,” Taekwoon called, only mildly stern.

“I didn’t do anything,” He singsonged in response.

“Sanghyuk wouldn’t want to hug me,” Jaehwan said. “I think he’s angry at me for something.”

“Oh, is he?” Hakyeon asked with forced curiosity.

“He is. He won’t even look at me properly lately.”

“Have you asked him why? Maybe his answer will surprise you.”

“ _ Hakyeon _ ,” Taekwoon repeated and Hakyeon only shot him an innocent little smile. Taekwoon rolled his eyes.

“I think he just hates me. It’s fine. As long as he listens to me he can hate me all he wants, I don’t care.” Jaehwan mumbled, picking at the seam on the shoulder of Taekwoon’s shirt. 

“Jaehwan,” Taekwoon said with a soft exhale. “Sanghyuk doesn’t hate you.”

“He does.”

“He doesn’t.” Both Taekwoon and Hakyeon answered in unison. Jaehwan looked from one to the other, amused.

“You two are so in sync, I’m jealous.”

Hakyeon could hardly contain a smile before saying, “Alright, jellybean, how about you go hang the clothes to dry on that net I set up near the fire? I’ll give you all the hugs you want later.”

“Who are you, my mom?” Jaehwan grumbled, but diligently got up, gave Taekwoon and Hakyeon noisy kisses on the cheek and shuffled away to do as he was asked. Hakyeon giggled and turned to Taekwoon.

“Our kids are really hopeless, aren’t they?”

Taekwoon rolled his eyes and said, “They’re not our children.”

“Come on, just play along.”

“No.”

“Ugh, fine. Grumpy.” Hakyeon said and stuck out his tongue at Taekwoon, who chuckled in response.

“You’re in high spirits.”

“Of course I am. We’re alive, we’re safe, we have water to drink, we’ve bathed.” He listed. “I am very content right now.”

“Good. I’m glad.” Taekwoon said, a small smile playing on his lips.

Hakyeon pressed a kiss to his shoulder and, after handing Taekwoon the shirt he just finished washing, got up and stretched his arms over his head, saying, “I’ll go see if Sanghyuk is done washing the pots and pans I asked him to wash.”

As he moved towards where Sanghyuk was quietly doing the task Hakyeon had requested of him, Hakyeon allowed himself a moment to let the reality set in - they had almost died (twice) and had somehow made it through. They were in a safe place, had more than enough water to drink and cook with, and they were together and getting along. Yes, he was in high spirits, and with good reason.

And from the way Wonshik had been ‘sneakily’ kissing Hongbin every other two seconds, Hakyeon figured they were more than getting along. Good for them and fucking finally.

Sanghyuk was scrubbing one particularly dirty pot when Hakyeon finally reached him and looked up at him once he noticed his presence.

“What’s up?”

“Just checking if you’re done with the pans, we should start making dinner soon,” Hakyeon said, and Sanghyuk nodded and passed the washed pans to him.

“Here, I’ll have the pots clean soon.”

“Take your time, you’re doing good,” Hakyeon said, giving Sanghyuk a fond pat on the head. “Also, Jaehwan needs a hug.”

Sanghyuk froze for a moment before saying in a stiff tone, “So?”

“So you should give him a hug.”

“Why me?”

“Why not you?”

“If he asks me for a hug, I’ll give him a hug, but he won’t want a hug from me.”

Hakyeon sighed and rolled his eyes, deciding to just walk away after mumbling, “For fuck’s sake.”

At least Hongbin and Wonshik had stopped chasing each other in circles. Pity he couldn’t say the same about Sanghyuk and Jaehwan.

He returned to where Wonshik was getting ready to make them dinner, Hongbin washing some peas nearby. Hakyeon easily sat down next to Wonshik and passed him the clean pans. “So, what are we making?”

“Pea soup,” Wonshik announced with a smile. “Simple, but satisfying.”

“Nice, what do you need me to do?”

“Can you cut this for me? I suck at cutting onions.” Wonshik said, passing one of their few remaining onions. “I always cry.”

“You cry because you’re a big crybaby.” Hongbin teased upon his return, bringing with him the washed peas.

“Don’t be mean to your boyfriend, Binnie.” Hakyeon chided playfully, getting a death glare from Hongbin.

“It’s  _ my _ boyfriend, I do what I want.”

“Ooh, not denying it! Confirming it!” Hakyeon teased, and Hongbin threw one pea grain at him, hitting him on the cheek. That only made Hakyeon laugh harder.

“You’re so annoying,” Hongbin said, but it lacked the usual snark and Hakyeon could tell he was trying very hard not to smile.

“And you’re so cute!” Hakyeon threw back, along with a kiss. Hongbin ignored him this time.

“Leave Hongbin alone, vhenan,” Taekwoon said, carrying an armful of clean clothes towards where Jaehwan was hanging them to dry.

“The pots are clean,” Sanghyuk said as he also approached, leaving the clean pots next to Hakyeon. “What now?”

“Why don’t you go help Jaehwan hang the clothes?” Wonshik suggested, casual, and Hongbin snorted next to him.

“Sounds like a great idea.” Hakyeon agreed before Sanghyuk could protest. “Taekwoonie! Come rest a little, Sanghyuk can do that!”

Both Taekwoon and Jaehwan turned around to stare at Hakyeon upon hearing his words, Taekwoon with a judgemental frown and Jaehwan looking like he was planning an escape route.

“But—” Sanghyuk began, but Hongbin was quick to interrupt him.

“Just go hang the damn clothes, while we were all working you were playing in the water, fair is fair.”

“Look at you, laying down the law,” Wonshik said to Hongbin still in that cooing tone. Hongbin grimaced.

“Stop.”

“Why can’t Hongbin do it, he was sucking face with Wonshik and not working too!” Sanghyuk protested and Hakyeon pursed his lips not to laugh - that kid really wasn’t afraid of danger.

“What was that?” Hongbin asked with a mild smile that said ‘you better run’ and Sanghyuk finally realized it and scurried away.

“I mean, I’ll do it, I love hanging clothes!”

“That’s what I thought. And put a shirt on, you heathen.” Hongbin said, settling down behind Wonshik, back to back, and closing his eyes. “I’ll be meditating if you need me. And by that, I mean ‘if you bother me for dumb shit, I’ll kill you in your sleep’.”

“Isn’t he adorable?” Wonshik mouthed the words at Hakyeon who only chuckled in response.

Taekwoon came over a couple minutes later, setting up his bedroll against a wall, close to Hakyeon but not close enough to bother him while cooking. Hakyeon turned to him and smiled, getting another smile in return.

“Are you going to sleep, honey?”

“Mm.” Taekwoon hummed and nodded. “I have to update him on our progress.”

By ‘him’ Hakyeon already knew Taekwoon meant Dirthamen - it was still strange to think his boyfriend was the adopted protegee of a literal god. “I’ll wake you up when the food is ready.”

“Thank you, vhenan,” Taekwoon answered, placing a kiss on the top of Hakyeon’s head before moving to settle down on his bedroll. Hakyeon watched him for a moment, fond beyond measure, before focusing on his task again.

The atmosphere was so peaceful. All of them easily settling into their roles, being kind to one another, helping, joking, talking - at the beginning of their journey, Hakyeon never thought they’d become so close. He’d seen it happen before, of course - his old crew, back when he was a raider, was also very close due to the time they spent together at sea - but this felt different, somehow. It felt— It felt like family. They were sharing so much, not only in terms of experience but of themselves too. After all of this was over, he couldn’t imagine not being close to them anymore. It was the type of bond that said ‘no matter what, I’ll always be there for you’.

Family. They were family.

By the time food was ready, everyone was done with their respective chores and sat down in a half-moon around the campfire, Taekwoon rubbing his eyes sleepily from time to time between one bite and the next.

“This better not taste like bog, I washed the damn peas about ten times,” Hongbin mumbled as he scooped some soup into his bowl.

Sanghyuk brought up a spoonful of food to his mouth and hummed thoughtfully as he analyzed the taste. “...No, still tastes like bog.”

“Ah, fuck.” Hongbin cursed, but started eating anyway since, well, no choice.

They ate leisurely, making casual conversation and joking, and, again, that feeling of ‘family’ hit Hakyeon. It was easy being around them, all of them, and he decided that he wanted to continue being close to them after their quest was over. After knowing them, he couldn’t just go back to not knowing them.

And they were close to the end. Hakyeon could feel it, completion was approaching rapidly and very soon they would have to say their goodbyes. He didn’t want to say goodbye. He didn’t want to part with them.

He wanted— He wanted to keep in touch. He wanted to spend time with them in better times, have a drink and a laugh, dance and sing, and just  _ be _ . He hoped they’d have a chance to make it happen.

They finished the entire pot of soup so hungry they were, and after putting their bowls and the empty pot aside they settled down once again, that comfortable mood still hanging over their modest little camp, the lingering smell of food and soap from the clean clothes soothing after so long smelling only ash.

“Daeguni, tell us a story!” Jaehwan pleaded with a childish lilt to his voice.

“A story?” Taekwoon echoed.

“Yes! Your stories are the best!”

“What kind of story?”

“A  _ love _ story,” Hakyeon said, hugging Taekwoon’s arm and resting his head on his shoulder, Taekwoon’s laughter fanning over his hair.

“Ugh, not a love story.” Hongbin rolled his eyes as he grumbled, but Wonshik wrapped an arm around his shoulders and shushed him.

“Stop, I want to hear it.”

“At least make it a story where someone dies or something.” Hongbin continued grumbling while Wonshik looked at him as if he were the cutest being to have ever existed on the planet.

“Yes, make it bloody!” Sanghyuk agreed.

Taekwoon sighed and rolled his eyes, thinking for a second before apparently settling on a tale, “Very well. A love story. With blood.”

“You’re so good at compromising.” Hakyeon cooed, giving Taekwoon a noisy kiss on the cheek. “Tell the story, baby.”

All of them watched Taekwoon expectantly, the fire crackling pleasantly and the sound of running water a fitting background noise for that moment, the mood around them relaxed, almost lazy, like they were all children having a sleepover. 

“Long ago, when the People were young and free,” Taekwoon finally began, his melodic voice echoing in the stone walls, “there lived a woman who was as delicate and graceful as a doe, with hair white as the first snow of winter. Her name was Ghilan’nain, and she was devoted to the Goddess of the Hunt, Andruil.

“Ghilan’nain was very talented and creative. She made beasts of many shapes and sizes, of sky and land and sea, beasts which the goddess Andruil rejoiced in hunting, and so Ghilan’nain was Andruil’s most beloved.

“One day, Ghilan’nain came upon a hunter and found that he had killed a hawk. The hawk, as well as the hare, are favored by the goddess Andruil and Ghilan’nain, enraged, demanded that the hunter make an offering to her beloved goddess as a way to apologize for taking the life of a hawk. The hunter laughed and refused. In her anger, she called upon Andruil to place a curse on the hunter, and her curse took hold - from that day on, the hunter could no longer hunt, his arrows always missing their target, the grip on his daggers always wavering, his vision, once perfect, becoming blurred and unreliable.”

Their attention was entirely focused on Taekwoon’s story, each and every one of them hanging from his every word.

“The hunter became a joke to his family and friends, his reputation forever soiled. A hunter that couldn’t hunt? It was simply not heard of. He was useless to his peers, mocked and belittled, and he blamed it all on Ghilan’nain.” Taekwoon continued, egged on by all the wide eyes staring at him. “He became consumed with thoughts of revenge, and, one day, he finally decided to put his plan in motion.”

“Did he hurt her?” Jaehwan asked, urgent. “He better not hurt her, I’ll kill him!”

“Shush!” Hongbin hissed at him. Taekwoon chuckled and continued with the tale.

“Ghilan’nain was hunting in the forest with her sisters, and the hunter approached her, telling her that he finally saw the error of his ways and that he needed her help to prepare a suitable offering to Andruil. Ghilan’nain was overjoyed with this, and easily followed the hunter deep into the forest, letting him part Ghilan’nain from her sisters.”

“I don’t like where this is going,” Hakyeon said, pouting, and hid his face against Taekwoon’s arm.

Taekwoon began carding his fingers through Hakyeon’s hair lazily and continued, “Once they were far from anyone who could help her or hear her screams, the hunter turned on Ghilan’nain. He used his knife to blind her, and tied her up as if she were just another fresh kill - but he could not end her life, as he was cursed. So he left her there, tied up and blind and bleeding, and Ghilan’nain prayed to the gods. She prayed to Elgar’nan, the All-Father, for the strength to have her revenge on the hunter, and she prayed to Mythal, the Mother, to protect her and keep her from more harm. She prayed to Falon’din to lead her into the Beyond if it was her time, but most of all, she prayed to her love, Andruil.”

“Did she help her?” Wonshik asked, eyes sparkling with interest.

“She did,” Taekwoon answered with a nod. “She sent her hares to chew through the ropes that bound Ghilan’nain and set her free. She was still blind, however, and could not find her way home through the forest. So Andruil made her the first halla, always able to find her way no matter where she is.”

“But that’s sad, Daeguni!” Jaehwan whined, and Taekwoon, chuckling, continued.

“Very well, I think I have a more satisfying ending.” He paused for a moment, resting his voice and gathering his words, before he spoke again, “I have mentioned how Ghilan’nain created many beasts.”

“Did she make dragons?” Sanghyuk piped up.

“No, dragons already existed then,” Taekwoon replied with an amused smile. “Her beasts were large and dangerous, however, much like dragons, and despite Andruil hunting them, they were still numerous and the gods thought them unsafe to be around the People.

“So Andruil came to Ghilan’nain one day with an offer: if she destroyed her creations, all of them, she would ascend to the ranks of the elven gods. Ghilan’nain, of course, was overjoyed with the chance to be with her love and accepted the offer.

“She destroyed the beasts of the sky first, except for the hawk since it was Andruil’s favorite. She then destroyed the creatures of the ocean, except those that dwelled in the furthest depths of the sea, for pride did not allow her to end them. And lastly, she destroyed the beasts of the land, except for the halla. And so she was raised to the status of goddess, becoming the youngest member of the Elven Pantheon, and finally able to be with her beloved Huntress.”

Hakyeon sighed next to him, “That’s so pretty.”

“Where’s my hot hunter god to come and take me away?” Jaehwan said wistfully, hands over his chest theatrically.

Some of them laughed - Sanghyuk too, although it was obviously forced - but not Hongbin, who only rolled his eyes and groaned, “I’m going to sleep.”

“That’s a good idea, we still have a lot to do tomorrow.” Wonshik agreed.

“You can leave the dirty dishes over there, I’ll wash everything when I wake up,” Hakyeon said, pointing at the spot he mentioned, a relatively flat patch of rock near the edge of the pool. “And don’t forget to stock up on water, who knows when we’ll find another good source of clean water.”

“We can do it all in the morning, Yeonie,” Hongbin said, using his hand to cover a yawn. “We’re all exhausted, let’s just go to sleep and not worry for a change.”

“That sounds like a great plan.” Sanghyuk agreed.

“I’ll be big spoon!” Wonshik declared, latching onto Hongbin’s waist.

Hongbin groaned and gave a half-hearted attempt to push Wonshik away, which, of course, didn’t work. “No spooning!”

“Stop fighting it, Binnie, we have a decade worth of snuggles to catch up on.”

“I want snuggles too,” Jaehwan whined, and Hakyeon arched an eyebrow.

“Snuggle Sanghyuk.”

The two of them immediately protested and got up moving to set up their bedrolls all the way across camp from each other. Hakyeon giggled and Taekwoon sighed next to him, shaking his head.

“You are impossible.”

“I’m trying to help them.”

“Impossible.”

“Come on, you moody baby, let’s go to sleep.” Hakyeon tugged on Taekwoon’s hand after speaking, coaxing him to get up when he did. “Where are you going to take me tonight in our dreams?”

“Where do you want to go?” Taekwoon asked as they moved to retrieve their bedrolls.

“Mm… Surprise me.” Hakyeon finally said after a moment to ponder.

Taekwoon chuckled and gave Hakyeon a kiss on the temple before saying, “Whenever you say that, you secretly want me to take you to the ocean.”

“Then take me to the ocean, smartass.”

“Anything you want, my heart.”

 

✶


	21. Every cloud has a silver lining

✶

 

The sound of water rose Wonshik from his slumber and he blinked at the stone ceiling of the cave. He was immediately alarmed - he remembered falling asleep with Hongbin in his arms, and now there was no one next to him. He sat up quickly, his mind forcing itself out of the daze of sleep, and he looked around in search of Hongbin.

He sighed with relief the moment he spotted Hongbin by the water’s edge, washing one of the bowls they had used the night before to eat. Wonshik tossed his blanket aside and pushed himself up, stretching his arms over his head as he padded over to where Hongbin was, gently touching the back of his neck when he was close enough. Hongbin didn’t even flinch, obviously having heard his approach.

“Hey,” Wonshik called in a whisper not to wake the others, “how long have you been up?”

“A while,” Hongbin answered, “couldn’t sleep for some reason.”

“Is something upsetting you?”

“On the contrary,” Hongbin said and looked up at Wonshik, “I’m happy.”

“Yeah?” Wonshik asked with a stupid grin on his face.

“Yeah.” Hongbin nodded to confirm before frowning. “It makes me nervous.”

“Nervous? Why?”

Hongbin gave Wonshik a brief shrug in response, his attention turning back to the pot he’d been washing. “I don’t know.”

Wonshik chewed on his bottom lip for a moment, trying to think of something to say to soothe Hongbin’s concerns. In the end, he wasn’t sure if there was anything to be said at all, so he settled on, “Let’s go back to bed.”

“Mhm, go ahead and I’ll be there in a moment,” Hongbin replied. “I have just a couple more bowls to wash.”

“Do it in the morning, Bean.”

“Bean?” Hongbin echoed the nickname with a chuckle. “You haven’t called me that since we were ten.”

“I know,” Wonshik said, placing a kiss to the top of Hongbin’s hair. “You don’t like it?”

“I do. I really do.” Hongbin answered, smiling down at his hands as he continued to wash the pots. “Go back to bed, I’ll be right there.”

“Don’t take too long, it’s cold,” Wonshik warned, knowing that trying to convince Hongbin to drop what he was doing would be useless, and shuffled back to the bedroll, making sure to scoot over to the other side to give Hongbin space to lie down once he was done.

Wonshik was still walking on clouds, really. They hadn’t discussed anything, hadn’t talked about their relationship, what would they be from that point on. They were certainly not ‘just friends’ anymore - Hongbin had used the word ‘boyfriend’, even, and while Wonshik was overjoyed with it, he didn’t know if Hongbin had truly meant it; it could just as easily have been a way to get Hakyeon to stop bothering him.

It was Hongbin, though. Hongbin never did anything he didn’t want to do and would fight it teeth and claws if he had any reservations. 

And Hongbin  _ had _ kissed him first.

So.

Wonshik was mildly terrified, though - he was never anyone’s boyfriend before. He didn’t know how he was supposed to act, how Hongbin wanted him to act; they’d have to talk about it. He wanted to talk about it, wanted to know where he - they - stood.

A few minutes passed before Hongbin finally came to join him in the bedroll, Wonshik promptly lifting the blanket so Hongbin could crawl under it. Once they were settled, Wonshik wrapped his arms around Hongbin’s middle without any hesitation and was pleased when Hongbin didn’t try to push him away - he actually snuggled closer to him, head resting on his shoulder as if it were a pillow.

“Mm, you’re so warm,” Hongbin mumbled, cuddling even closer to Wonshik.

“And you’re freezing,” Wonshik said, fixing the blankets over them in a way that Hongbin was properly covered before pulling him to himself. “You couldn’t wait to do the dishes in the morning?”

“If I couldn’t sleep, I wanted to at least be productive,” Hongbin replied. “Besides… I needed something else to focus on.”

“Talk to me, Bean.” Wonshik requested, one of his hands running through Hongbin’s hair distractedly.

“I’m not sure I want to talk about this,” Hongbin said, slow, careful, “I almost died, Shikkie.”

Wonshik tightened his hold on Hongbin. “I know.”

“I’m not afraid of death. Not really. Elves learn about death very early and accept it even earlier. It’s—” He paused, not meeting Wonshik’s eyes as he thought for a second before continuing, “It’s the regrets. The things I didn’t do. I could have died without doing so much, accomplishing so much.”

“Is that why you kissed me?” Wonshik couldn’t help but ask.

Hongbin chuckled, the sound muffled against the skin of his chest. “Worried I won’t want you in the morning, guardsman?”

“Yes. Very,” Wonshik replied without a second’s hesitation.

“Mm. Stupid,” Hongbin said, resting his chin on Wonshik’s shoulder so he could look up more comfortably. “I can’t imagine a future where I don’t want to be with you.”

Those words had Wonshik’s heart doing somersaults in his chest. “You mean that?”

“Stupid.”

Wonshik scoffed, “Sorry if I need reassurance after twelve years with no word from you.”

“You had to bring that up now?” Hongbin said with a pout, head tilting sideways in a way that Hongbin’s cheek was fully pressed on Wonshik’s chest. “I already said I was sorry.”

“I know, but I think I’ve earned the right to smack you on the head with it from time to time.”

“Fair enough.”

“So you really want to be with me? You don’t regret it?”

“No. I mean, it’s really a terrible idea,” Hongbin was quick to add, “but no, I don’t regret it.”

“And you meant it when you called yourself my boyfriend?” Wonshik asked this question in a much quieter tone.

Hongbin chuckled and raised himself enough so he could press a kiss to the base of Wonshik’s neck. “Yeah, I meant it. Or you don’t want t—”

“I want to!” Wonshik interrupted a little bit too loud and slapped a hand over his mouth.

Both of them looked around to check if they had woken their companions, but other than Taekwoon and Sanghyuk shifting in their bedrolls, nobody woke up. They both breathed a sigh of relief and settled back down, Hongbin positioning himself a little higher on the bedroll so he could be eye level with Wonshik.

“Look, if you need more reassurance—”

“No, I— I don’t. I believe you,” Wonshik said, softer this time. “I’m yours one way or the other.”

“As I’m yours.”

Wonshik grinned like a total fool but shook his head. “You’re not. I might not be the brightest pea in the pod, but I know that you don’t belong to anyone but yourself.”

Hongbin’s lips quirked up in a smile that was almost bashful - but only almost. “Yeah, well. You’re right, but— My heart, at least. No matter what happens, if we get lost in the Deep Roads or get eaten by a dragon, I want you to know this.”

Wonshik was struck speechless and breathless for a moment, his one reaction to surge forward and kiss Hongbin, hard and desperate and deep. It only lasted a few seconds before Hongbin pushed him away gently, chuckling, the sound low in the back of his throat.

“Easy, bunny, I’m not going anywhere,” He said, nuzzling Wonshik’s nose with his own. Wonshik looked down, away, cheeks going rosy with shame.

“A-ah, sorry.”

“It’s ok. Here, look at me,” Hongbin instructed, voice still gentle in that uncharacteristic way that was slowly becoming more and more familiar, and Wonshik did as asked and looked up to meet his eyes. “I’ll show you.”

Wonshik shakily nodded his permission and closed his eyes when Hongbin asked him to, feeling his warm breath hit his skin as he came closer and closer until they were kissing again. It as different this time, only lips sliding over lips at first, no hurry whatsoever - exploring, teasing, like they had all the time in the world. Matching Hongbin’s pace was easy despite how eager he was, how he wanted more, and it was with a sigh of relief that he felt Hongbin’s tongue touch his, barely slipping between his lips before retracting again; very unlike how he’d kissed Hongbin before, which, in hindsight, was likely not a very good kiss considering that he’d basically shoved his tongue inside his mouth.

This was better. So much better.

The kiss didn’t change intensity even with the increased contact, not even once Hongbin allowed Wonshik to take control and set the pace; he kept it like that, slow and sweet and intimate. It was, he decided, the only way to kiss Hongbin. Tender and loving and soft.

Different from what he was sincerely hoping for, the kiss didn’t go on forever - Hongbin was the first to pull away, a pretty flush on his cheeks, his eyes darkened with want.

“You sure learn fast.”

“I already forgot, show me again,” Wonshik said, leaning in for another kiss, and this time Hongbin moved back, chuckling.

“Don’t, I can’t be held responsible for my actions if you turn me on right now.”

“A-ah, got it,” Wonshik stammered and hid his face on the crook of Hongbin’s neck, his laughter low and melodic right by his ear. 

“You’re so cute when you’re flustered, bunny.”

“You’re not helping,” Wonshik whined.

“I know,” Hongbin said and kissed him just on the curve of his jaw. “You still want to be big spoon?”

“...Yes, please.”

“Just don’t tell Hakyeon, he’ll never leave me alone if he finds out.”

 

✶✶✶

 

Three days.

Three days wandering The Fucking Deep Roads.

It was not as miserable as wandering The Fucking Silent Plains, but it was still not exactly fun. Hakyeon was trying to make the best out of a terrible situation, but it wasn’t easy - it was disorienting, first and foremost, since they couldn’t tell if it was day or night as they walked around a place where everything looked the same. They couldn’t sleep easy over the fear of darkspawn ambushing them, even with Fear and Deceit scouting ahead and keeping watch to make sure they wouldn’t be caught unawares. They had to make strange detours and find alternative routes because the main roads were destroyed in some points, forcing them to waddle through debris or build bridges with the help of Jaehwan’s magic.

They were exhausted; they walked and walked, and they never seemed to reach anything. Hakyeon missed seeing the sky, the fluffy white clouds by day and the shiny stars at night. He missed— Plants. He missed grass. He was tired of rock over rock, stone over stone. It was like the walls were closing in on him, like he would be buried alive under all that rock. How could dwarves live like that?

Then again, dwarves believed they’d float up to the sky if they ever went to the surface. Maybe it went both ways.

He was trying to keep positive, though. He was trying very hard, despite how tired and grumpy everyone was; at least Sanghyuk wasn’t having nosebleeds anymore. And they had water. And they were managing to make their grains last. The vegetables were close to ending, would last maybe one or two meals more - three if they made an effort. Bright sides, he had to look for the bright sides. 

Taekwoon being the brightest side of all, of course.

Hongbin was also considerably less salty now that he and Wonshik were a couple, although he was still making disgusted faces and groaning any and every time Hakyeon and Taekwoon did or said something ‘cute’. How did Wonshik deal with a boyfriend like that, Hakyeon would never know.

And Jaehwan and Sanghyuk were… Just the same as always. Blind. Stupid. Making wrong assumptions. Not communicating. Trying to avoid each other instead of falling in bed together already.

Hakyeon was getting used to it by now. And accepting that they might never make a move.

And Taekwoon was— He seemed happy. He was laughing more, talking more, opening up to the others more. It made Hakyeon incredibly proud of how far he’d come, compared to how he was when they first met him. His quiet, mysterious Dalish elf.

Hakyeon smiled to himself and looked at Taekwoon, walking next to him, and immediately frowned - in the dim light of the Deep Roads, the shadows fell heavier on Taekwoon’s face in such a way that Hakyeon noticed how skinny he was getting. One look around made him realize that, yes, all of them had lost a considerable amount of weight. Even Jaehwan, whose face once was rounder, with puffier cheeks, had thinned - lost his baby fat, as Hakyeon would prefer to put it. His face was more angular now, sharper, and while Hakyeon would admit that his jaw was to die for, he didn’t like to acknowledge the fact that they were losing so much weight from lack of food and too much exertion.

At the first opportunity, he’d make sure to prepare them a banquet.

His thoughts completely changed tracks when, turning around a corner on the road, they were met with— Not a road.

“What— Was this a city?” Wonshik asked, voicing their collective thoughts.

“It’s a thaig. A very ancient dwarven thaig,” Jaehwan responded, looking around in complete awe.

Hakyeon shared the sentiment - the ruins of the city were  _ massive _ . Buildings littered the place, remnants of cobbled streets leading the way further into the thaig. The buildings closer to that entrance were little more than piles of rocks, but the further in they were, more they began to notice that the structures were becoming less damaged. What was just debris before slowly gained shapes, enough that they could make out a plaza, stairs, houses, even an intact market stand.

“This is incredible,” Hongbin muttered, analyzing a stone door intricately carved and very well preserved. “I guess there are things the darkspawn didn’t destroy yet.”

“Don’t get too comfortable, though. This is the perfect place to be ambushed,” Wonshik grimly warned.

“Fear and Deceit don’t sense anything. There’s nothing alive here,” Taekwoon responded, and his choice of words made Hakyeon shudder.

“There’s us, we’re alive!”

Taekwoon chuckled. “Yes, vhenan, we are. I meant other than us.”

“I think this is the perfect place for us to set up camp,” Sanghyuk decided. “One of these buildings must be intact enough to house us for a few hours, and sleeping somewhere with a door for a change would be fucking awesome.”

Jaehwan scoffed under his breath. “What do you want a door for, it’s not like there are any servants with perky breasts for you to hide behind one.”

“That was  _ one _ time!”

“ _ One _ time out of  _ three _ times, the other two just didn’t have perky breasts,” Jaehwan sniffed in affectation. “Like I wouldn’t see a naked maid behind your door.”

“Why did you have a naked maid behind your door?” Hakyeon couldn’t help but ask.

Jaehwan shrugged and answered in a false perky tone. “Because she was married.”

Hakyeon squawked and turned to face Sanghyuk. “Married!? You were having an affair with a married woman!?”

“It wasn’t an affair,” Sanghyuk rebutted, rolling his eyes. “It was barely even a quickie.”

“What about her husband!? Did you consider his feelings?”

“Yeah, I knew he’d be jealous,” Sanghyuk said, blunt. “That’s why I slept with him too.”

“Maker’s breath,” Wonshik gasped.

“Nice,” Hongbin said at the same time, getting a horrified look from Wonshik.

“See what I had to deal with?” Jaehwan asked, turning to Taekwoon and pointing at Sanghyuk. “Imagine when he’s king! Imagine the booty parade I’ll have to deal with every day! Aren’t I scarred enough, Daeguni, do you think it’s fair!?”

Taekwoon sighed, shoulders sagging, and said, “Jaehwan… I really don’t care.”

The outrage on Jaehwan’s expression had everyone laughing - even Sanghyuk, who, after a few seconds, shook his head, took a deep breath to reel in his laughter, and said, “I’ll behave when I’m king. Hopefully, I’ll settle down and only one booty will be paraded through my chambers.”

“It better be your queen’s,” Jaehwan said, cheeks burning red.

“Or my king consort’s,” Sanghyuk breezily responded before walking away, and Hakyeon had to bite his tongue not to laugh at the look on Jaehwan’s face - he could pinpoint the exact moment when his brain was met with a malfunction.

“King consort!? Sanghyuk!” Jaehwan screeched and ran after Sanghyuk, probably to try and tell him about the birds and the bees or whatever it was he decided to use as a shield of denial this time, while the rest of their group followed leisurely behind.

Children.

They explored the thaig for a few minutes longer, finding that the buildings were much more well preserved closer to the center of it, until they finally came across what seemed to have once been the home of a small family. It wasn’t a big house, but it was more than enough for the six of them - and Hakyeon had to wonder at dwarves and their apparent fondness for very high ceilings, though he wasn’t opposed to it in the slightest. They were all very tall.

The house consisted of a relatively ample common area that was likely used as both a living room and a kitchen once, judging from the stone stove that sat against a far wall and the simple polished stone table a few paces away from it. Beyond that room, there was a corridor that led to two more rooms and a bath area; they’d likely not use those two rooms, but Hakyeon planned on at least trying to convince them to let him and Taekwoon be separated from the group, just for the sake of privacy. They wouldn’t agree, because separating was not a very safe decision, but Hakyeon was really in need of some alone time with his boyfriend in the waking world, away from the prying eyes and comments of their companions.

At least he still had their shared dreams. Brights sides, look only at the bright sides. Every cloud has a silver lining, like his grandmother used to say and Andraste guard her soul.

“I want to explore!” Jaehwan declared as soon as he dropped his packs inside the house. “Daeguni, you’re coming with me!”

“No, I am not,” Taekwoon promptly replied. Hakyeon sighed and tugged gently on his hand.

“You should go with him, dearest. You’re the only one who can keep him out of trouble.”

“But—”

“You can leave Fear or Deceit with us, we’ll be fine,” Hakyeon promised with a smile. “I know you want to explore too.”

Taekwoon gave him a dubious glance but ended up agreeing with a nod. “Alright. Please be careful?”

“Of course. You be careful too, and try not to take too long,” Hakyeon more instructed than requested, pulling Taekwoon gently by cheeks so he could kiss him goodbye. Turning to Jaehwan, he added, “Something happens to him, I’ll give you enough pain to fuel your blood magic for a hundred years.”

From the terrified look on Jaehwan’s face, the threat worked.

While Jaehwan and Taekwoon were out exploring, the rest of them were set on tidying up the place a bit, considering everything was dusty and covered in cobwebs. They wouldn’t clean everything, of course, but the main area where they would stay should be at least habitable. Dwarven homes were so— Incredible and interesting. Everything was carved directly in the stone, every piece of furniture, like the homes had been chiseled from stone into existence. Probably not very practical if they decided to redecorate as they wouldn’t be able to move anything, but still, amazing.

Once they deemed the place good enough to stay for the night, Hakyeon decided to see if the bath worked - he knew that dwarves had special runes to provide clean water, since it wasn’t always that they could find a good source of water under the ground. In fact, Hakyeon made use of those runes many times when he still had his ship; those were incredibly useful.

While Wonshik and Hongbin tried to get the stove working, both to provide them with warmth and to make something to eat, Hakyeon wandered to the bath, Sanghyuk trailing behind him like a (very large) duckling after its mother. The bath was in a much similar state as the living area had been, covered in dust and cobwebs, but since they wouldn’t be dwelling there as long as they would in the living area, Hakyeon thought it was fine if the room wasn’t clean, as long as they could make use of the tub.

Sanghyuk was staring at him curiously as he used a rag to clean up the tub, clearly not understanding what was his goal. “What are you doing?”

“I’m providing us with water,” Hakyeon answered airily.

Sanghyuk said nothing, only watching as Hakyeon finished cleaning up the tub. Once he did, Hakyeon looked around for the runes, which were not hard at all to find, carved just inside on the edges of it. Shooting a little smile to Sanghyuk, Hakyeon gently touched his fingertips to runes and traced them in a clockwise motion. Immediately, the tub began to fill with clean water.

Sanghyuk was gaping at him once Hakyeon looked back up, “Wha— How?”

“Dwarves don’t have magic, so they make magic,” Hakyeon explained, simple and with a shrug. “They have runes for a lot of practical things.”

“And we can drink that— Rune water?” Sanghyuk asked, still not entirely sold, and Hakyeon nodded as he laughed.

“Yes, we can drink it. And bathe too,” Hakyeon’s tone dropped and he shot Sanghyuk a sideways smirk. “A good chance for you to see a certain mage naked and wet.”

“What!?” Sanghyuk shrieked. “I d-don’t— I don’t want to see him naked, who told you that!?”

“Ah, Sanghyuk,” Hakyeon sighed and shook his head, dipping his hands on the water to clean away the dust that clung to them. “You’re wasting so much time.”

“No idea what you’re going on about.”

“Mhm.”

“Hakyeon, please, just—” Sanghyuk said, a defeated look on his face. “Don’t.”

Hakyeon frowned at the words, watching Sanghyuk’s expression silently for a moment before asking, “What’s going on between you two? You both have been acting strange, did you have a fight?”

“No. I… I decided to back off,” Sanghyuk explained, more mumbling than talking, “give him space.”

“Oh,” Hakyeon said, surprised at that turn of events. “That’s— Unexpected but very mature.”

“I’m not a child,” Sanghyuk replied, rolling his eyes at the notion. “I’ll be king someday very soon, I have to start making better decisions.”

“I’m proud of you, Hyukie,” Hakyeon said with a smile. “If you love something you have to let it go, it’s what my mother always says.”

“Yeah, that’s the kind of logic I was trying to go by,” Sanghyuk muttered, looking down at the dusty floor. “I just want him to be happy.”

Hakyeon’s smile turned sad. “Ah, Hyukie… I’m sure Jaehwan appreciates it even if he doesn’t know it.”

Sanghyuk chuckled through his nose. “Yeah, I guess. As long as he’s happy I—”

“Guys!” Jaehwan himself suddenly barreled inside the bathroom, interrupting and startling Sanghyuk, which, of course, made Jaehwan stare at them suspiciously. “Uhm… Did I interrupt something?”

“Not at all, Sanghyuk and I were just talking about how we should respect the free will of the people we love,” Hakyeon said and turned to Sanghyuk, “right, Hyukie?”

“A-ah, right.”

Jaehwan narrowed his eyes suspiciously as he looked from one to the other before saying, “Right. Anyways, we found a map!”

“A map?” Hakyeon instantly perked up and came closer to Jaehwan. “Where is it, do you have it with you?”

“No, it’s carved on a wall,” Jaehwan said, already motioning them to follow him. “Come, come, Daeguni is waiting for us there.”

“You left my Taekwoonie alone!?”

“Of course not, Fear is there with him.”

“Oh. Ok then.”

After reuniting with Wonshik and Hongbin, the five of them made their way through the desolate streets of that ghost town - ghost thaig? - towards where Taekwoon was standing, staring up at a very large, very obvious map chiseled into the stone wall, Fear grooming its feathers on his shoulder. Hakyeon ran up the few meters that kept them apart and clung to his waist, almost knocking him over.

“I’ve missed you!”

Taekwoon laughed and wrapped one arm around his shoulders, nuzzling his cheek affectionately, “I’ve missed you too, ma vhenan.”

“Gross, get a room,” Hongbin grumbled. “What’d you find?”

“Map,” Taekwoon answered, pointing at the wall.

“No shit, but does this help us?”

“Yes.”

“Don’t be rude to my baby,” Hakyeon whined in a childish voice, to which Hongbin rolled his eyes; Hakyeon had to bite his tongue not to laugh.

“Hey, is this an exit?” Wonshik said, tracing the lines of the map with his fingertips. “Wait, where are we?”

“Hang on, I brought stuff to trace it,” Hongbin said, pulling out a piece of charcoal and parchment from his bag; the parchment looked absolutely disgusting after having been through the bog water and then the clean water to wash off the bog water, but they had somehow managed to dry it. It still smelled a little funky, though.

“We are… Here,” Hakyeon said, letting go of Taekwoon so he could examine the map better. “This corridor next to where we’re standing leads here—”

“That other corridor branches off to a lot of weird directions,” Sanghyuk said, a thoughtful scowl on his face. 

“...Wait. Something’s off,” Wonshik said. “Where’s that compass?”

“Fear, compass,” Taekwoon ordered the raven, which prompted the rest of them to make noises of protest at the gross display yet again.

“Can’t we find another way to keep that thing safe? Every time it does that I feel like throwing up too,” Hongbin said, face twisted with disgust.

“Yeah, baby, just— I’ll hold on to the jewel from now on, we’ve all had enough of Fear’s method of safekeeping,” Hakyeon said, also looking nauseated.

Taekwoon huffed after tossing the compass and jewel to Wonshik. “Weak.”

“Did you just call me weak!? Taekwoonie!”

“I called you all weak.”

“Someone’s grumpy,” Jaehwan murmured under his breath while Sanghyuk snickered next to him.

“Guys, seriously, look,” Wonshik said, pointing at the compass. They all, of course, turned to give him attention.

“So… What?” Hongbin asked.

“It’s pointing Southeast.”

“Yes, like it usually is.”

“Bean,” Wonshik gently grabbed Hongbin’s chin between his fingers and turned his head towards the map carved on the wall. “There’s nothing Southeast.”

Hongbin frowned then looked at the compass, then at the wall and then at the compass again. “...Oh.”

“What?” Hakyeon asked, still not quite catching on.

“Whatever this pointing to,” Wonshik began, careful, “it’s not in the Deep Roads.”

“Okay…” Hakyeon said, nodding his head slowly and taking a deep breath. “Alright. What does that mean for us?”

“It means that we’ve been going about it wrong,” Jaehwan mused, staring at the map with a pensive look. “We were all assuming this unknown dragon would be buried somewhere in the Deep Roads, like all the others, and if so there would be a path down here that led directly to it. There isn’t.”

“So it’s not in the Deep Roads?” Sanghyuk concluded. “Fucking great.”

“If it’s not in the Deep Roads, then where is it?” Hongbin questioned.

“I don’t know,” Jaehwan answered, running a hand through his hair in a gesture of frustration. “But if it’s not sealed away like the other Old Gods, if it’s somewhere else entirely—”

“We’re in over our heads,” Taekwoon concluded, Jaehwan grimly nodding to agree.

“It can have a lot of meanings, sure, but— I don’t think it’s good.”

“Can it be worse than the Deep Roads?” Hongbin said, disdainful.

“Yeah. It could be the Silent Plains,” Hakyeon replied, all of them collectively shuddering at the memory.

“What’s Southeast anyway?” Wonshik asked.

“Uh… Ferelden? The Waking Sea? Cumberland!” Jaehwan perked up once he said the last location. “Please tell me we’re going to Cumberland, please, by Andraste’s crooked pinky.”

“What’s in Cumberland anyway?” Sanghyuk asked, trying but failing not to sound like a sulky brat. “Your boyfriend?”

“What? No,” Jaehwan was the portrait of confusion when he spoke. “Where did that come from?”

“You just sounded super excited about going there for some reason.”

“I have friends there!”

“I have a small apartment there,” Hakyeon declared, both to keep Sanghyuk and Jaehwan from getting into a petty argument and to bring the subject back around. “It’s really small, when I say small I mean  _ small _ , but we won’t have to pay for lodging if we go there, at least.”

“I want to see your home,” Taekwoon shyly mumbled next to him and Hakyeon broke into the most stupid grin.

“ _ Our _ home, if you want it to be.”

“Ugh, I think I’m going to vomit,” Hongbin said.

“Shush, I’m trying to have a moment with my boyfriend, why don’t you go smooch yours,” Hakyeon said and made a shooing motion with his hand. Hongbin only rolled his eyes.

“Can we focus, please?” Wonshik, with his cheeks conspicuously flushed, said. “I think we should find the nearest exit and head to Cumberland. Even if the compass is not pointing there, exactly, it’s probably much closer to the final destination than anywhere else, and we have a place to stay if Hakyeon is willing to house us.”

“But of course!” Hakyeon immediately agreed.

“I guess that settles it, then,” Hongbin said, looking up at the map one last time before turning around and walking away. “Let’s go back to camp, I’m starving.”

 

✶✶✶

 

“Again.”

Sanghyuk’s tone was patient but firm, and Jaehwan felt like he was a child again, just learning how to conjure a fireball. He wasn’t learning how to conjure a fireball, though. Conjuring a fireball was easy, but  _ this _ ? Not easy. 

While Jaehwan was doing much better on that close range combat thing, it wasn’t exactly becoming any easier. Sanghyuk’s said it’d be easier with time, but it had been days and it wasn’t getting easier. He didn’t think Sanghyuk was a liar, per se, but he was most definitely overestimating Jaehwan’s capacity to keep up with physical demands. He was but a simple Arcane Advisor, he was made for sitting down and looking wise,  _ not _ fighting.

“Come on, Jyani, try again, I know you can do it.”

Jaehwan made a Face; how dare Sanghyuk be supportive and encouraging when Jaehwan wanted to find a reason to be salty?

At least he wasn’t touching him. It would be impossible to focus if he was touching him.

He gave Sanghyuk a sideways glare but got into position again, trying oh so very hard to keep his mind set on the combination of moves Sanghyuk wanted him to do. It wasn’t a difficult combo; Jaehwan’s heart just wasn’t in it. His head wasn’t in it.

He repeated the combo and got the sequence right - the movements, not so much. Sanghyuk sighed but nodded to acknowledge the effort.

“That was— Better.”

“It was shit and we both know it.”

“Jyani…”

Jaehwan huffed and crossed his arms. “It sucked. I suck at this.”

“You’re just starting to learn, it doesn’t mean you suck at it,” Sanghyuk said, and for a second Jaehwan thought he was about to reach out to him, Sanghyuk’s arms jerking forward minutely, but he seemed to decide against it. “You’ll only get better if you practice.”

“I’m really not cut out for fighting,” Jaehwan told Sanghyuk as he wiped the thin layer of sweat from his forehead with his arm. “It’s too hard and my body is just not strong enough. I do have a newfound respect for you and your Reaving, though.”

“Oh? Thank you,” Sanghyuk looked surprised as he spoke. “I— Do you want to try working on that move we started practicing?”

“The one with the barrier?” Jaehwan asked and Sanghyuk answered with a nod of confirmation. “Alright.”

“Cool. You’re good at that one,” Sanghyuk said, and for some reason, Jaehwan had the thought that he sounded— Shy. Jaehwan simply ducked his head, unsure how to react either to the compliment or Sanghyuk’s bashful demeanor. “You remember the moves?”

“Yeah, we’ve done it enough the other day for me to never forget it,” Jaehwan said with a joking lilt in a frail attempt to lighten the atmosphere, though he didn’t feel like it helped much.

As they took their positions, Jaehwan prayed to Andraste that his magic worked. It had been relatively stable the past few days, even if a bit weaker than it usually was, but for that exercise, it was enough - he only had to hold a barrier for a short amount of time and push the energy forward to force Sanghyuk to retreat. A few seconds at most; he just had to block a sword, and it wasn’t even Sanghyuk’s monstrosity of a sword, it was one of Wonshik’s, much smaller and less scary. He could do it.

Andraste, please, let him be able to do it.

“Ready?” Sanghyuk asked and Jaehwan forced himself to get a grip.

“Yeah, ready.”

And the Sanghyuk was charging at him, sword raised, full speed. All he had to do was cast a barrier. All he had to do was block the blow.

Sanghyuk was getting closer and closer, and Jaehwan estimated that about five steps away was enough for him to react. He raised his free hand, the other one holding his staff, and reached into the Fade. He just needed it for a few seconds, just a little bit of magic.

Five steps; he focused, struggled to get a hold on that faint spark of the Fade he could feel on his fingertips.

Four steps; the spark slipped away and Jaehwan frantically tried to pull the Fade forward again, tried to reach it with his mind, but it kept slipping away.

Three steps; he couldn’t do it, he couldn’t reach the Fade, he couldn’t, just couldn’t.

Two; he panicked, trying to pull his magic forward one more time, Sanghyuk’s eyes widening with the realization that something was wrong.

One; Jaehwan yelped, raising his arms to protect himself, at least his head, and braced for impact.

No impact came. Instead, there was a loud sound right by his ear where Sanghyuk’s sword hit the ground, one of his arms holding him around the waist. “Jaehwan? Jyani, what happened, are you ok?”

“Y-yeah, I’m fine,” Jaehwan answered, trembling from head to toes. Sanghyuk somehow managed to stop himself and drop the sword before he hit Jaehwan, but it had been close. Too close.

“You’re shaking all over,” Sanghyuk commented as if it wasn’t obvious already, but Jaehwan didn’t have it in him to be annoyed; he just— He needed— “Jyani, I’m so sorry, I’m sorry.”

Jaehwan went with instinct and let himself drop his staff and sway forward, into Sanghyuk’s arms, his chest, and Sanghyuk got the message right away and held him in a tight embrace, rubbing soothing circles on his back. He didn’t want to have a meltdown, didn’t want to start crying, especially not in front of Sanghyuk - but he needed a moment to compose himself.

“I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you, I didn’t think it would freak you out so much.”

Jaehwan nodded dumbly in response, eyes closed, hands clutching the sides of Sanghyuk’s shirt. He tried to focus on his breathing, inhale, exhale, Sanghyuk’s scent familiar, safe, and slowly, so very slowly, Jaehwan got a hold of himself.

“I’m fine, I’m sorry, I— I got a little spooked,” Jaehwan said, trying to laugh it off as he stepped back. He hadn’t cried, even though his eyes were wet. Small mercies.

“What happened? You couldn’t cast a barrier?” Sanghyuk asked, earnest for all that the question felt like a punch to Jaehwan’s gut.

“I— Yeah, I… I think I’m just a little tired,” Jaehwan forced a smile before raising his hands and trying to tap into the Fade again. It didn’t work, so he tried again, and again, until he found that little spark and managed to make it catch, producing a shimmering barrier for a few seconds. He couldn’t hold it for any longer than that and was quick to pretend to dispel it on his own accord, and not because he didn’t have it in him to keep it up. “S-see? I can do it, I probably just need to sleep.”

“Jyani, please tell me what’s wrong,” Sanghyuk requested, and Jaehwan could see the concern behind his eyes. It broke his heart. “You’ve been so— Quiet. I know you’re worried about something, maybe if you tell me what’s happening I can help.”

“I’m really alright,” Jaehwan tried to sound reassuring but failed. “I’m just tired.”

“Bullshit. Please, at least don’t lie to me.”

“I’m just tired,” Jaehwan repeated, firmer this time, and took a step back. “We should go to sleep, we’re setting out early tomorrow.”

“Jaehwan—”

“Don’t stay out here too late, the others will be worried.”

And saying so, Jaehwan scurried away towards the house where they set up camp, not looking behind as he went. He didn’t want to see the disappointment in Sanghyuk’s face. 

 

✶✶✶

 

Hongbin had withdrawn to his own thoughts again. Fair, they were all worried after wandering the Deep Roads for what felt like many days in search of an exit, which caused the general mood to drop, but Hongbin was— He was  _ particularly _ quiet. Wonshik had learned to identify Hongbin’s subtle mood changes, but this was not exactly subtle.

Most obvious was how he wasn’t even trying to shoo Deceit away when the demon perched on his shoulder and snuggled against his neck. Cute, but concerningly out of character.

Hongbin was standing at the fringes of their modest camp, set up for them to rest only for a couple hours before continuing on ahead, staring at the darkness beyond the little crevice on the wall where they had tucked themselves in. Most of the others were asleep, Taekwoon being the only one awake besides Wonshik himself and Hongbin, and Taekwoon was known to mind his own business. So Wonshik confidently got up and walked the few paces to where Hongbin was standing, taking upon himself to get Deceit to leave so he could replace the raven with his own head on Hongbin’s shoulder, arms snaking around his waist.

“You alright, Bean?” He asked in a low tone after pressing a kiss just under Hongbin’s ear.

“Worried,” Hongbin answered with a sigh. He rested his own arms over Wonshik’s and leaned back so they were pressed chest to back before continuing, “What if we don’t find a way out?”

“We’ll find it. We have that map still.”

“And the two last exits turned out to be blocked. What if every entrance here is collapsed? Food is running out, water is running out, and I’m so  _ tired _ —”

“I know, Bean, I know,” Wonshik gently shushed him, kissing the side of his head. “We’ll find a way, there are plenty of other entrances for us to try and we’re making good time.”

“And once we get out we’ll be right back to dodging cultists,” Hongbin said, bitter. “I’m so sick of this.”

“It’s not going to be forever.”

“Sometimes I just want to run away with you somewhere. Maybe Antiva. Or southern Orlais, everything must be covered in snow there right now,” Hongbin mused as he tipped his head back and closed his eyes, an absent smile on his lips. “We could get ourselves a little cottage in the middle of nowhere and drink tea in front of the fireplace without having to worry about anything.”

Wonshik smiled to himself with the mental image and nuzzled Hongbin’s neck. “Look at you, imagining a future for us.”

Hongbin clucked his tongue and made one of his Hongbin Faces that said ‘ _ you got me but I’ll never admit to it _ ’, which Wonshik sincerely loved. “It’s not imagining a future, just wishing for a better present situation.”

“I’m still there, though.”

“Of course you’re there. I don’t want to spend another twelve years away from you,” Hongbin said in a voice so low, so sad, that Wonshik had trouble hearing him even if his ear was right next to his mouth. “I want to be able to settle down somewhere. With you. My life— I’m sick of it.”

“What’s wrong with your life?” Wonshik asked, careful; Hongbin never mentioned his life, and not so bluntly. In fact, Wonshik knew very little about it. Nothing at all, in fact.

“Everything,” Hongbin muttered. “I enjoy traveling. I do. It’s just— I’m tired.”

“The life of adventure lost the shine?”

Hongbin chuckled, but it was a sad, melancholic little sound. “You can say that,” He paused, thinking for a second, before continuing, “I left because I wanted—  _ Needed _ something better. I just didn’t want to be stepped on anymore, and while I’ve learned how to defend myself over the years— It didn’t get better. Nowhere is better for elves.”

“Binnie—”

“I know. I know, bunny,” Hongbin turned his head just enough so he could kiss the corner of Wonshik’s mouth after speaking. “But it’s the truth. I’ll always be looked down upon, no matter what, because that’s how things are. You as a guardsman know that better than anyone.”

Wonshik pursed his lips and didn’t reply. It was true - elves were mistreated daily, constantly, and while Wonshik had always tried to do right by them, elves’ lives never truly got better. Hongbin was right. Absolutely right.

“If I’ll be treated like dirt anywhere I go, might as well be somewhere I can be near you.”

Wonshik froze upon hearing that, wide-eyed and hopeful. “You— Are you saying—?”

“I’m just thinking out loud,” Hongbin said, a small smile playing on his lips, “I don’t want to make plans and give you hope when we don’t know what tomorrow has in store for us.”

“But once this is over, would you consider it?” Wonshik asked, maybe a bit too eager. “Would you move back to Nevarra City?”

“I truly hate that place,” Hongbin said with a sigh. “But for you— Maybe.”

“Really?”

“Don’t get your hopes up, I told you I’m not making real plans right now,” Hongbin warned, raising one hand to pinch Wonshik’s earlobe lightly as a playful punishment. “I’m just thinking.”

“Please take me into consideration for your plans,” Wonshik requested and embraced Hongbin tighter.

Hongbin was quiet for a moment, staring off into the distance, before smiling softly and murmuring just under his breath, “Always.”

 

✶✶✶

 

Sanghyuk was never any good when it came to emotions. He was raised not to show his feelings, to keep himself always calm and collected on the outside no matter if there was a storm raging within. Reaving was a great way to blow off some of that steam, and once it had been enough; it wasn’t enough anymore.

Jaehwan was looking so frail, so tired. And he was so  _ quiet _ . Sanghyuk’s heart ached every time he glanced at Jaehwan, because just that quick glance was enough to see how unwell he was. He just wanted to know what was bothering him so, he just wanted to be able to help, but— Jaehwan didn’t trust him with the knowledge. Or was he scared? Sanghyuk wasn’t sure which option was worse.

He just wanted to help. He just wanted Jaehwan to be well and happy and safe, and he couldn’t do any of those and it was killing him.

He tried to focus on the cold phylactery resting against his chest, just next to his heart. Tried to remind himself that Jaehwan did trust him, that he left him in charge of his phylactery because he knew Sanghyuk would always do right by him. This was something else, though. Whatever was weighing Jaehwan’s mind… It was something else.

That he had so much time to think didn’t help either - they had been walking for hours, all of them were tired and in a sour mood, not inclined to talk to keep themselves distracted, which only left the option of stewing in his own thoughts. Not ideal.

“There should be an intersection coming up,” Hongbin said, walking with his eyes on the map. “There are exits marked on both paths, so… Which way should we go?”

“Which one looks more promising?” Hakyeon asked, swinging his and Taekwoon’s entwined hands back and forth childishly as they walked. Sanghyuk made sure to ignore that little voice in the back of his mind saying that it would be nice to be able to do that with Jaehwan.

“It’s hard to say, they both seem to lead southward,” Hongbin replied. “The exits are not far on either side too.”

“Should we draw sticks to decide?” Wonshik suggested.

“There are no sticks here,” Taekwoon wisely pointed out.

“We can vote,” Sanghyuk said.

“We can send out Fear and Deceit ahead to scout both passages and see which one is better,” Hakyeon offered, and that appeared to be the best option since everyone murmured in agreement.

Or, well. Everyone except Jaehwan, who didn’t even seem to notice what was happening around him.

He really wanted to give Jaehwan a hug. Or a thousand. Jaehwan wouldn’t like that very much, but Sanghyuk was of a mind that he really needed some comfort.

Once they finally reached the intersection Hongbin had mentioned a few minutes later, it was painfully obvious which way was best. On the very entrance to the path to their right, there were darkspawn corpses littering the ground. Sanghyuk grimaced at the sight, their twisted features, the acrid smell, the black, ink-like blood oozing from their wounds onto to the stone floor.

“They’re still fresh,” Hongbin declared after crouching near one of the corpses for a closer look, Wonshik watching him in distress.

“Bean, careful, don’t get too close to it.”

“I know, Shikkie, I know.”

“Who do you think killed them?” Hakyeon asked, clutching Taekwoon’s arm.

“Who knows. Maybe other darkspawn, maybe Grey Wardens?” Hongbin mused as he got back up, looking ahead at the path beyond the bodies. “Whoever it was, they can’t be far.”

“We should probably be ready for a fight, then,” Sanghyuk stated and turned to Jaehwan, who was still quietly looking at some point in the wall, mind obviously miles away. Sanghyuk stepped closer to Jaehwan and called in the most subtle way possible, “Jyani?”

“Mm?” Jaehwan hummed and looked up at him. “Yes?”

“Are you feeling alright?” Sanghyuk carefully asked. “You are a bit pale, we can stop if—”

“No, I’m fine,” Jaehwan said with a smile that was obviously forced. “We don’t have to stop, we should keep moving.”

“Alright, if you’re sure,” Sanghyuk replied, watching Jaehwan for a second longer. “Stay behind me, ok? If anything comes at us I’ll block it.”

“You don’t have to—”

“Jyani. Please?”

Jaehwan opened his mouth to, obviously, argue but deflated just as fast and nodded, looking resigned. Sanghyuk wanted to say something, wanted to tell Jaehwan that he was just worried for his safety, worried for  _ him _ , but he wasn’t sure if that was something Jaehwan would want to hear; so he simply nodded in response and turned to face the road ahead.

They chose the path that wasn’t littered with darkspawn corpses, the one to the left, even if it looked darker and narrower than the alternative. It was still in fairly good condition, only the odd stone sticking out of the ground here and there, but from the looks of it, that path was kept— Functional. Sanghyuk wasn’t sure if that was a good or bad sign - maybe it was a little bit of both - but as long as that road led to a working passage, it was worth the risk. He really just needed to get Jaehwan out of that place, no matter what.

Not too long after they set out into that road, they heard— Voices. They all stopped on their tracks, all quiet, all holding their breaths, and listened. Whoever it was, they were just around the corner. Sanghyuk could count two— No, four different voices? Could darkspawn talk? No, it couldn’t be darkspawn. Grey Wardens? Dwarves? Dwarves were the likeliest assumption.

Hongbin signaled them to be quiet and wait there before sneaking ahead to have a look, his footsteps not making a single sound; it was almost eerie how silent Hongbin could be when he wanted to. Good thing he was on their side.

They all watched as Hongbin peeked around the wall and quickly retreated, holding up four fingers at them and mouthing the word “dwarves”. Sanghyuk’s assumption was correct, then.

Hongbin peeked around the wall one last time, for only a couple seconds, before turning around and rushing back to their side, as quietly as he had moved away.

“What do we do?” Hakyeon whispered as soon as Hongbin was close enough. “Rush them?”

“They’re heavily armed. I think they’re Carta,” Hongbin whispered back. “We can probably take them.”

“Don’t bother, I got this,” Jaehwan suddenly said, all of them staring at him with surprise.

“Jyani, what—” Sanghyuk started, but Jaehwan waved him off.

“There’s no need for all of us to rush into danger when I can handle it on my own.”

“But Jyani, you’re not well, you—”

“I’m  _ fine _ ,” Jaehwan said, firm, raising his chin in defiance, “and I’ll prove it.”

Without waiting for them to protest, not really giving them a chance to, Jaehwan just hurried forward, keeping himself close to the wall. Sanghyuk made a noise that was close to a whimper of despair and followed along with the others, who also seemed alarmed with Jaehwan’s rash decision.

“Jaehwan, what do you think you’re doing?” Hakyeon hissed.

“Shush, they’ll hear us,” Jaehwan hissed back. Sanghyuk’s stomach dropped once he saw Jaehwan slip a dagger from his belt, already knowing what would come next.

“Jyani—”

Too late - Jaehwan was already burying the blade right in the middle of his palm. Sanghyuk looked away, but there was no blocking the noise of pain that got stuck in Jaehwan’s throat, a choked little sound; he hated it.

Almost immediately he could feel it - the surge of power, the magic heavy in the air. He looked back at Jaehwan, the air being knocked out of him at the sight of glowing red eyes; he would never get used to seeing that side of Jaehwan, so— Dangerous, bordering on wicked, and Sanghyuk really didn’t want to dwell on how attractive that was. The ink black hair, the moon-kissed skin, the pink lips and red eyes - no Desire demon would ever come close to Jaehwan’s level of allure. 

He would do anything for him. He would live for him, die for him.

With a soft grunt, Jaehwan slid the dagger out of his palm and turned around so he could see the four dwarves beyond, eyes moving fast as if he was analyzing the scene before him. He then raised his other, uninjured hand, and with the tip of his index finger he began— Drawing on his bloody palm, Sanghyuk had no idea what. Symbols, unknown symbols. His lips were also moving, even if no sound came from them - a spell.

Up ahead on the path, one of the dwarves swayed on his feet, the others quieting down to see what was wrong with their companion. Just as suddenly as he’d begun to sway he stopped, and from there was like watching a puppet move, lifeless, limbs stiff, awkward, as the dwarf attacked the other three. Looking at Jaehwan, Sanghyuk was again struck dumb - Jaehwan was moving his fingers in a most unnatural way, like he was controlling an invisible marionette, eyes glowing a brighter red, the corners of his lips curled up in a satisfied smirk.

In only a few seconds the dwarf who was being controlled fell limp on the floor and a second dwarf started to act erratically, falling under Jaehwan’s spell as easy as the first. Sanghyuk watched in complete awe as the second dwarf turned on his companions until he, too, fell limp on the floor and the third one became ‘possessed’ by Jaehwan’s influence, like the spell was jumping from one to the other. It was very interesting to watch, but also terrifying - the ease with which Jaehwan had just taken over their minds, how quick it all had been, how they couldn’t prepare for it… It wasn’t the most reassuring thing to witness.

Soon enough the third dwarf had fallen and only one remained standing, his eyes glazed, swaying softly on his feet. Jaehwan, palm held up, moved from his hiding spot and calmly walked up to the dwarf, the rest of them following him unprompted but dazed with how fast everything happened.

“Did you kill them!?” Hakyeon asked, alarmed.

“No, they’re still alive,” Jaehwan replied, voice so calm it sent a chill down Sanghyuk’s spine. “Or shouldn’t they be?”

“No, don’t kill them! Just— Just make sure they’re knocked out for a while.” Hakyeon instructed and Jaehwan nodded to agree before turning to the dwarf.

“Where is the nearest exit to the surface?”

“This road…” The dwarf said, his tone monotonous and dragged out,  _ wrong _ . “Three hours walk… Not far…”

“Thank you!” Jaehwan replied with a cheerfulness that was just  _ so _ out of place in that situation. “Now go take a nap and rest. You and your friends won’t remember a thing once you wake up.”

The dwarf shuffled slowly away, only a few steps, before falling to the ground like a puppet that just had its strings cut. Jaehwan’s eyes stopped glowing, the air became lighter, Sanghyuk felt like a weight was lifted from his shoulders - a feeling that was more evident when Jaehwan turned to him and smiled one of his lovely lopsided smiles.

“See? I told you I was fine.”

“That was—”  _ Scary, terrifying, wrong, haunting, dangerous, concerning— _ , “so hot.”

Jaehwan’s cheeks immediately turned rosy and he looked down at his feet, bashful as bashful could be. “A-ah… Thank you?”

“Hongbin, what are you doing!?” Wonshik’s voice broke through their moment and both Sanghyuk and Jaehwan turned to see what was happening.

Hongbin was patting the dwarves’ clothes and pulling anything valuable he could find from their pockets. “We need these more than they do,” He said, weighing a pouch of what sounded like coins on his palm. “Ooh, heavy!”

“Guys, look what I found!” Hakyeon said and all turned to witness Hakyeon pulling four enormous beasts by the harnesses. “Brontos!”

Jaehwan gasped, his eye wide in childlike wonder, and he rushed forward to the smallest bronto of the bunch and proceeded to pet its head. “You’re so cute! I’m going to call you Reginald!”

Sanghyuk laughed to himself and shook his head, not quite believing that that was the same man who was controlling four dwarves as if they were dolls only a couple minutes ago. Smitten didn’t begin to cover how he was feeling.

Jaehwan did have him by the heartstrings.

“Oh, nice! We’re taking those too,” Hongbin declared once he was done with his pillage and plunder. “It’ll make our travels much easier.”

“Wish we had those  _ before _ we stepped into the Plains. Imagine how much better that whole deal would have been,” Hakyeon said, shaking his head.

Taekwoon had already started removing the dwarves’ belongings from the brontos’ saddles to replace them with their own bags, Hongbin going through those as well in search of valuables. He paused and scoffed, tossing one of the bags aside.

“Yeah, they’re Carta. Smuggling lyrium.”

“Ohh, shiny!” Jaehwan made to walk over to the discarded bag of illegal lyrium but Sanghyuk held him by the back of the collar.

“No, you won’t.”

“But—”

“No.”

“But I need—”

“ _ No _ .”

“You never let me do anything fun.”

“Raw lyrium is dangerous, you’re not going near it,” Sanghyuk said, dragging Jaehwan away from the bag. “Come on, Reginald is waiting for you.”

That was enough to convince Jaehwan to give up on the lyrium, and soon enough they were all set to leave, Hakyeon and Taekwoon sharing one bronto, Hongbin and Wonshik the second one, Sanghyuk the third and Jaehwan on Reginald - Sanghyuk didn’t think they had a proper space to keep a bronto at Castrum Draconis, but he could order something made to house Jaehwan’s new friend. Yes, that would make him happy.

Jaehwan seemed happier already. Maybe Sanghyuk was truly getting worked up over nothing.

 

✶


	22. Family

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> warning for (very bad) semi-smut ahead ✌️

✶

 

Sky. They could see the sky.

Blue and clear, as far as their eyes could see. Jaehwan slid off his bronto and hurried ahead of the group for the sake of drama - he ran to a tree and  _ hugged it _ like he was meeting an old friend after many years. Hakyeon’s display of happiness was more subtle once he, too, dismounted the bronto they had been sharing; he tipped his head back, letting the sunlight bathe his skin, a soft smile gracing his features, and sighed with bliss.

It again hit Taekwoon how much he loved Hakyeon, how lucky he was that Hakyeon loved him back.

It had to be luck. What else would it be?

“So the dwarf was telling the truth,” Hongbin commented idly as he left the Deep Roads atop the bronto he was sharing with Wonshik, looking around curiously. “I almost thought this exit would be blocked too.”

“I don’t think anyone can lie under a blood spell, Binnie,” Wonshik pointed out. “What should we do with the entrance?”

Jaehwan let go of the tree and turned around, facing the large doors, wide open after their passage. It was carved into the mountainside, half hidden behind thick shrubbery, but the evidence of recent and continued use was quite visible on the ground. Jaehwan stared at the door for a moment before raising one hand and making a squeezing motion. Immediately there was a loud crash behind them, giving the brontos a fright that was enough to have them moving forward a few steps. Taekwoon managed to control his bronto with ease while Sanghyuk had trouble stopping his, but none of them got far.

Taekwoon could only sigh once he turned and saw what had happened - Jaehwan collapsed the opening, reducing that entrance to the Deep Roads to a pile of rocks. A little bit extreme in his opinion.

“Well!” Hongbin exclaimed, “I guess that’s that.”

“I was thinking more of just closing it, but I suppose this works too,” Wonshik agreed.

“Where, by the Maker’s hairy left nipple, are we?” Sanghyuk asked.

“This compass thing is pointing that way,” Hakyeon said after fishing out the compass from his breast pocket and taking a look at it, “which we already know is somewhere South.”

“North is that way,” Taekwoon pointed the right direction in Hakyeon’s stead, “though that serves little to tell us where, exactly, we are.”

“I think I can hear water,” Hongbin said, head cocked to one side as he listened.

“We’re near water! Perfect, let’s go!” Jaehwan said, climbing onto his bronto’s back once again with less grace than he probably was hoping for, “Let’s go, Reginald, to water!”

Taekwoon helped Hakyeon back onto their own bronto’s back, Hakyeon promptly wrapping his arms around his middle nuzzling his neck affectionately; Taekwoon smiled, giddy, happy. So lucky.

They set out East, towards the direction Hongbin had heard the water, silence hanging over their group. Taekwoon didn’t find it odd, on the contrary - he understood. They were all hungry and tired,  _ exhausted _ , and despite the relief of being out of the Deep Roads, they were concerned about food and other supplies, about the Old God and the cultists, as well as their own personal struggles. They weren’t in the mood to talk.

That is, until they found the water Hongbin had heard.

It was a waterfall. Not a large one, but enough to give them all a considerable boost in energy - chaos broke loose the moment they spotted it, Jaehwan, Wonshik, and Sanghyuk being the ones who cheered and whooped the loudest, and in a matter of seconds all of them had hopped off their mounts and were running into the water like a bunch of excited children. Taekwoon was less interested in playing in the water and more interested in washing the dust and soot off his skin, but Jaehwan and Sanghyuk were playing around by throwing water at Hakyeon, who, in turn, splashed them back; Wonshik and Hongbin were quieter, Wonshik having taken upon himself to teach Hongbin to swim. Hongbin looked like he was getting the hang of it quite fast.

Eventually, Hakyeon waddled over to where he was, all smiles and sunshine, and wrapped his arms around his neck. Taekwoon placed both hands on his waist to steady him, just as Hakyeon leaned in to kiss him, a quick peck on the lips.

“We survived,” Hakyeon said once they parted, eyes shining with happiness.

“We did,” Taekwoon agreed, “I was thinking of hunting something for dinner.”

“Can I come with?” Hakyeon asked, perking up. “I’m not really a hunter but I can give you moral support.”

Taekwoon chuckled and nodded, “Of course you can, I’d love your company.”

“Good, I was going to tag along anyway,” Hakyeon proudly declared before peppering kisses all over Taekwoon’s face. Taekwoon only giggled and let him, eyes closed, smiling like he never thought he would. He was happy. Hakyeon made him so happy and just for existing.

“You just need to be very, very quiet. I’ll handle the rest,” Taekwoon said and Hakyeon nodded repeatedly like an excited child.

“Whatever you say, dearest.”

After changing into dry clothes and letting the others know of their plans, they set out into the unknown woods that surrounded the waterfall, hand in hand, fingers laced together, a comfortable silence around them. It was always comfortable to be around Hakyeon, be it in silence or having a conversation, because Hakyeon… Hakyeon made it easy. Hakyeon didn’t judge him, didn’t try to change him, Hakyeon never pushed his boundaries, was always mindful of him and his lack of social experience.

Lucky. He was so lucky.

“This feels like a date,” Hakyeon suddenly commented, “a date in the woods.”

“Date?” Taekwoon echoed, slightly confused. He knew what ‘date’ meant, but he’d never truly had a date, not that he knew of, so he wasn’t sure how to recognize one.

“Mhm,” Hakyeon hummed, “I want to take you out on more elaborate dates, though. There’s this little shop in Cumberland that sells the most delicious cakes, you’d love it.”

“Do they allow Dalish elves?” 

“If they don’t I’ll fight them,” Hakyeon shrugged, simple, stopping on his tracks and pulling Taekwoon to himself. “I’ll always fight for you, be it against dragons, or bandits, or ignorant salespeople.”

Taekwoon chuckled at that while Hakyeon cupped his cheeks with his hands, looking at him with so much love it made Taekwoon feel like he was floating.

“I love you. You know that, right?” Hakyeon said, simple, direct, a fact.

“I do. I love you too, ma vhenan.”

Hakyeon’s smile widened, bright as a star, and he lovingly pulled Taekwoon closer so they could kiss, sealing their confessions with that action. Kissing Hakyeon was now as natural as breathing to him, the rhythm and intensity automatic, and yet no kiss was ever the same. This time it was slow but filled with something Taekwoon wasn’t sure how to interpret - a longing, a  _ need _ . It became more pointed once Hakyeon guided him backwards, his back hitting a nearby tree, and from there the kiss only became more intense, Hakyeon’s tongue eager and searching, his hands roaming his body as if he wanted to commit it to memory. Taekwoon wanted to do the same, but he was— Hesitant. Wasn’t sure what he could - should - do, what was appropriate, what were Hakyeon’s boundaries.

So he held on to Hakyeon’s upper arms, fingertips digging into his clothes, his skin, and let Hakyeon lead. Hakyeon’s hands became more curious, traveling to places of him Taekwoon wasn’t used to having touched, and his body became incredibly warm, his mind urging him to pin Hakyeon down and—

No. No, he wasn’t ready for that, wasn’t ready to— He wanted, but— No,  _ no _ , it was too fast, he wasn’t— He couldn’t—

The sound of a branch snapping nearby caused them to part, looking around in search of what - or who - had made the noise, and Taekwoon felt relieved; he hated that he felt relief, but he did. He was panicking, starting to spiral into a pit of insecurity and self-loathing, but he wouldn’t have been able to stop Hakyeon, because Hakyeon was— Hakyeon could do anything to him, and he’d let him. Ready or not, he would have gone all the way.

How could he say that to Hakyeon? He didn’t want to hurt him. Didn’t want— Didn’t want Hakyeon to leave him for that. He didn’t think he would, he gave Hakyeon much more credit than that, but— It was all Taekwoon knew. People… They leave. People who hated him and people who loved him alike, they just leave. It’s what people do. Hakyeon would leave too, eventually - if he could keep it from happening, Taekwoon was willing to do anything. Everything. He just wanted to make Hakyeon happy, he didn’t want him to go, didn’t want to give him reasons to leave. He didn’t want to be alone again, even though he knew he would. All of them, Hakyeon and Jaehwan and Wonshik and Sanghyuk and Hongbin, they would all leave, and he would be alone again.

He didn’t want to think about it.

The source of the noise was easy to spot - a mountain ram, walking by just a few feet away from them. Taekwoon took that opportunity to disentangle himself from Hakyeon, knowing his face was flushed and his eyes were wet and that he likely looked less than happy. He’d chalk it up to being focused on the hunt.

He noticed Hakyeon’s eyes on him, could see his brows hitched together and his eyes narrowed, trying to read him. He ignored it and prepared his bow. Hunting -  _ that _ he could do.

 

✶✶✶

 

Sunlight was certainly doing wonders for Jaehwan’s general mood - the panic he’d been feeling was still there, still very much present, but just for breathing fresh air, seeing the sky, he already felt much better. It was easier to keep his mind away from the ever-growing dread for how off his magic had been behaving when he had more to look at than just rock.

Space was also good to be had after so long not having much room to be with his thoughts; he was sitting under a tree close enough to their campsite, looking up from time to time to check if the food would be ready anytime soon or if anybody needed his assistance, but far away enough that he wouldn’t end up eavesdropping their conversations. He was closer to where their brontos were roaming, searching for something to eat. It felt nice to have a little bit of quiet to think, and, most important, to do research. He’d been falling behind on that.

Some of his books had been completely ruined beyond salvation, but most of them, the important ones, he’d managed to save - Andraste bless leather wrappings. He was tired, exhausted in fact, but he was— Jittery. Anxious. He needed something to do, something to keep his mind busy, and what better than to try and figure out what they were dealing with?

The book he was reading was one he’d stolen from the Perendale Circle, the ink smudged in some pages but not enough that it was unintelligible. Or, well - the letters could be read, but the fact that it was written in  _ very ancient _ Tevene made it a bit harder to comprehend. It was about Old Gods, that he already knew - the little Tevene he could understand told him that. It didn’t seem to be about cults, but about only the gods and their tales, their legends, which in and of itself was a fascinating topic to learn. It was a little difficult, though, when he couldn’t fully understand the language and didn’t have any guides or even ink and a quill to take notes - his set had been ruined by the water.

But they would likely set out to Cumberland the next morning. Yes, in Cumberland he would have every resource he needed to translate those texts, at least a section of them - the one that mentioned the eighth god. It was there, he knew it was, he could understand parts of it, but there was  _ one _ word… It was a word that could change everything and he just couldn’t understand it.

Jaehwan groaned and tipped his head back, not minding that it hit the trunk of the tree a little hard. Maybe he should ask Taekwoon to get in touch with a Spirit of Knowledge? Later, perhaps - Taekwoon was asleep, both for being exhausted and because he had to give his Godly Godfather an update on their well-being; it was weird to think that they were all under a god’s good graces thanks to their friendship with Taekwoon.

He caught a whiff of food, the smell of the roast Hakyeon and Hongbin were preparing for dinner getting Jaehwan to stand up and wander over - maybe he could convince them to give him a little cut of it, just to taste? He had to know if the meat was good enough for his friends. He would make that sacrifice.

“Well, well,  _ someone _ smelled the food,” Hongbin commented in a teasing, joking manner that was unexpected but very welcome.

Busted. No point in denying it.

“It smells really good and I’m  _ so _ hungry, can I please have some?” Jaehwan asked with a pout. Hongbin chuckled.

“No, you can’t. Not even Shikkie managed to convince me, you have no chance.” 

“But I’m so cute!”

“I’m not your Future Monarch Boy to fall for that,” Hongbin said innocently. Jaehwan felt his face heat up and huffed to try and hide it.

“So mean.”

“How’s your research going?” Hakyeon asked, and Jaehwan was thankful for the change in subject.

“Not very well,” Jaehwan admitted with a little sigh, plopping down on the ground near the fire, next to where Wonshik was inspecting their supplies. “I don’t have the books I need to translate the texts, and that’s where most of the information is. It’s driving me mad, we don’t have the time for this.”

“Look on the bright side,” Wonshik piped in, shooting him a friendly smile, “we probably bought ourselves some time to breathe, because I doubt those cultists will be able to figure out where we are. I mean, we ourselves don’t even know.”

“I guess,” Jaehwan agreed with a defeated sigh. “We still need more information, we have a destination thanks to that compass and the map, but we have no idea where that destination is or what we’ll find there.”

“And we’ll figure it out,” Hakyeon said, reassuring.

“Yeah, don’t overwork yourself. We all noticed that you have been a little tired,” Wonshik said and, again, Jaehwan felt himself blush.

“A-ah, yes… The Deep Roads weren’t very good for me, I think.”

“Good thing we’re out of there then, we were getting worried,” Hakyeon gave him one of his Hakyeon Smiles, the ones that were warm and caring and that never failed to make Jaehwan feel dear. “Why don’t you go help Sanghyuk with the clothes? Food will still take a while to be ready.”

“A-ah, alright.”

He didn’t want to, but he also didn’t want to admit defeat, so with his head high and shoulders squared, Jaehwan left his books inside his pack and moved with fake confidence to where Sanghyuk was sitting by the edge of the water, vigorously scrubbing a pair of pants. Why wasn’t he wearing a shirt? What was that new trend of Sanghyuk going around shirtless? He was going to catch a cold, and they really didn’t have the time to nurse Sanghyuk back to health in their current predicament.

Jaehwan vehemently ignored the glowing phylactery resting on Sanghyuk’s - very exposed - chest. And how it made him feel.

“Do you need help?” Jaehwan asked the moment he was close enough, and Sanghyuk looked up at him with one eye squinted to protect itself from the sunlight, no matter how the sun was already lowering in the sky.

“Not really, but if you want to help I won’t refuse,” Sanghyuk replied, motioning to the empty space next to him, “I could do with the company.”

“Very well,” Jaehwan agreed easily, sitting down by Sanghyuk’s side and promptly grabbing a shirt from the laundry pile to start washing.

“How are you feeling?” Sanghyuk asked in a conversational tone, even if Jaehwan could tell there was more to it hidden away somewhere in his voice.

“I’m alright. The sunlight and fresh air are apparently all I needed.”

Sanghyuk chuckled at that answer, “You really are like a flower, aren’t you? You wilt without sunlight and attention.”

Jaehwan knew his face was glowing crimson, probably from his neck up to the tips of his ears, and he made sure to keep his head down, “And so what if I am?”

“I don’t mean it in a bad way, on the contrary,” Sanghyuk said, not fazed in the slightest, “it suits you. It’s one of the things that make you so—”

“Annoying?” Jaehwan completed, and Sanghyuk scoffed at him.

“No. Lovable.”

Jaehwan’s heart did a funny thing inside his chest, and keeping a straight face at that moment was likely one of the hardest things he’s ever done, but somehow he managed not to sound completely hysterical, “Wh-what are you saying all out of sudden?”

Sanghyuk gave him a shrug and said, “I said you are lovable. I apologize if that makes you uncomfortable.”

“N-no, it doesn’t, it’s— It’s a little unexpected, is all.”

“Alright, that’s good,” Sanghyuk said with a nod, “I feel like I don’t compliment you enough. You do so much and you work so hard, I really appreciate it.”

“Who are you and what have you done to the prince?”

Sanghyuk laughed, a squeaky thing that made Jaehwan’s heart do that funny floppy thing again, “I’ve always appreciated you. I’m sorry I never expressed that properly.”

“...Is this real? Did Daeguni drag me into a dream?”

“No, you are wide awake,” Sanghyuk sighed after speaking, the smile slipping off his face. “Your reaction is proof enough that I haven’t said it enough.”

“Sanghyuk—”

“I’m really sorry. I want to change that, I— I want you to know that I really do cherish you.”

Jaehwan forced himself to chuckle, keeping his eyes on the shirt he was washing, “I have no idea what’s gotten into you, but I definitely won’t complain.”

“Wouldn’t change anything if you did,” Sanghyuk replied, “you deserve better.”

Alright, that was getting too weird. First Sanghyuk was avoiding him like he was blighted, now he was talking of  _ cherishing _ him? What in the Maker’s holy right testicle was going on!?

And why was his heartbeat going batshit!?

“Thank you,” Jaehwan managed to mumble out, “I— I appreciate it.”

Sanghyuk smiled at him, warm and gentle - which only made Jaehwan’s heart beat even faster, fast enough that he thought he was dying for a split second - and turned back around to focus on washing the clothes like nothing ever happened.

Jaehwan really was losing it. There was no other explanation.

 

✶✶✶

 

The sun had long set by the time their dinner was done, the sky clear of clouds and full of stars, the moons bright, casting their glow upon them. Hakyeon was feeling particularly giddy - they were about to have a feast, they were clean, they were outside, they were safe. Everything felt like it was falling back into place after the hard times they’d gone through the past couple of weeks, which was made infinitely better now that they had finally found their footing in the group, knew their roles, the strengths they brought to the table, had their dynamics more defined. Hakyeon was happy.

And then there was his Taekwoon, soft and sweet, sleeping all curled up in his bedroll. It made Hakyeon feel bad for having to wake him up, but after everything Taekwoon was probably starving - he could go back to sleep once he had something to eat. Hakyeon would gladly join him, even.

Hakyeon stepped into the cave properly after a good few minutes standing at the entrance watching his love sleep, approaching him silently and carefully for all that his intention was to wake him up.

“Taekwoonie?” Hakyeon called once he was properly knelt down next to him, “Taekwoonie, it’s time to wake up.”

“Mnf,” Taekwoon groaned in response and pulled the blanket over his head, making Hakyeon chuckle.

“Come on, baby, you have to eat something,” Hakyeon insisted as he leaned over Taekwoon and gently tugged on his blanket. He nipped at the tip of his pointy ear once that little bit of skin got uncovered. “You can go back to sleep right after dinner.”

“I’m sleeping now,” Taekwoon answered in his sleepy soft voice.

Hakyeon pulled the covers further down so he could wrap his arms around Taekwoon’s waist properly before asking, “Aren’t you hungry, sweetness?” 

There was a beat of silence before mumbled, “Yes.”

“Then let’s go eat, hm?” Hakyeon said as he settled behind his boyfriend, placing a light, barely there bite on his nape, “You can sleep the rest of the night away after.”

“But it’s nice here,” Taekwoon breathed out the words, and Hakyeon didn’t miss the way he tipped his head the slightest bit to expose his neck to him. Hakyeon obliged the silent request and began to trail butterfly light kisses down the column of his throat.

“Mhm, I’m starting to see the appeal of staying here,” he said, one of his hands moving to rest on Taekwoon’s hipbone. “They won’t mind if we’re a few minutes late, right?”

“Hakyeon—” Taekwoon started to say while he turned around, but Hakyeon interrupted him with a kiss - not soft but not deep either, just a little taste before he pulled back. “The others might see.”

“If they do we can ask them to join in.”

“Hakyeon!”

Hakyeon snickered at the look of shame in Taekwoon’s face, “I’m joking, silly. I’m not sharing you.”

“That wasn’t the point,” Taekwoon grumbled, turning his face away again to half-hide it against his pillow.

“Come on, dearest, let’s eat,” Hakyeon decided, kissing Taekwoon’s neck on last time before pushing himself up and bending down to help Taekwoon do the same, “let’s go, lazy, get up.”

Taekwoon’s complaint was in the form of unintelligible grumbling, but he still took Hakyeon’s hand and let him hoist him up. Hakyeon took the chance to pull Taekwoon to himself once they were both standing so he could plant kisses all over his face. Taekwoon scrunched his nose with the sudden kiss-attack but he was smiling, so. A win.

“Ugh, you’re so cute, it’s not fair.”

“I thought we were going to eat,” Taekwoon murmured, cheeks pink and adorable, obviously trying to change the subject.

Hakyeon wanted to say he changed his mind, wanted to say he preferred to stay there and ‘eat’ Taekwoon instead, but he already knew that it wouldn’t go over very well - Taekwoon was clearly not ready for that step. Hakyeon wanted to respect his space, his time, didn’t want to push any boundaries, no matter how much he was climbing the walls already. Their shared dreams, where they could go anywhere and do anything, played on Hakyeon’s active imagination, and his imagination lately had been leading him down some paths that were not Taekwoon’s-Innocence-Friendly.  _ At all _ . 

Taekwoon’s reaction earlier, when they were out hunting, was indication enough that Taekwoon was not quite there yet. Maybe he never would be, and Hakyeon was fine with that - but oh, he  _ wanted _ .

“Yes, dear, let’s go eat,” Hakyeon said at last, guiding Taekwoon by the hand out of the cave and towards their campfire.

The smell of roasted meat was thick in the air, making Hakyeon’s mouth water even if he had been around the damn thing for the last few hours. They hadn’t had meat - or a proper well-balanced meal, in fact - in ages, so the fact that they were about to have roasted ram was enough to make Hakyeon’s stomach rumble, delicious smell or no delicious smell.

“Well, well, well, I thought you wouldn’t be joining us,” Hongbin teased upon seeing them approach, “I figure you two were too busy humping to remember dinner is ready.”

Hakyeon laughed. Taekwoon ducked his head with embarrassment.

“It’s way more likely for you and Shik to forget the world and hump your lives away than for Taekwoonie to ignore his stomach.” 

“Wrong, Shik would never let me hump my life away, even if he’s the one being humped.”

“Can we change the subject, please?” Wonshik asked -  _ begged _ , really - as he cut large chunks of meat for each of them. Taekwoon immediately wandered over towards the food.

“Yes, please, I don’t want to hear about you guys—  _ humping,” _ Jaehwan said with a judgemental expression.

“I do!” Sanghyuk piped in and was promptly ignored.

Dinner was a loud affair for a change, all of them in high spirits; even Hongbin, usually quiet and grumpy, was joking and fooling around, participating more actively in the conversations. Hakyeon finally felt like they were truly a family, not perfect, but—  _ Good _ . They were all good together, they worked well as a group, balanced each other out. They might not all be at the  _ love _ stage just yet, but they definitely cared a lot about one another - Hakyeon could see it in the way Hongbin quietly looked after Sanghyuk, how Sanghyuk worried for Jaehwan, how Jaehwan smiled at Wonshik, how Wonshik spoiled Taekwoon. Little gestures that meant so much.

The six of them easily finished the entire ram in a matter of minutes so hungry they were, loitering around the slowly dying campfire for a long while after, talking about nothing in particular. Just joking, sharing tales and experiences, laughing,  _ talking _ . Hakyeon never felt so close to each and every one of them as he felt that night, under the moonlight, next to a waterfall, talking the night away.

“We should move inside, it’s getting a bit too cold,” Jaehwan suggested, and Sanghyuk immediately agreed.

“You’re right, you can go on ahead and I’ll bring your packs, you look like you’re freezing.”

Jaehwan gave Sanghyuk a puzzled look but agreed with a quick nod. He seemed a little… Dazed.

Hakyeon held back a sigh. Those two.

“Going inside sounds great, actually,” Hongbin agreed, getting up and stretching his arms over his head, “I’ve seen some herbs around, I can make us some tea before we go to sleep.”

“Tea sounds amazing,” Jaehwan said just before he got up and shuffled towards the cave behind the waterfall.

Taekwoon sighed and also got up, following Jaehwan, “I’ll make a fire inside for the tea, then.”

“I’ll help you pick those herbs, Binnie,” Hakyeon declared, getting up to follow Hongbin towards the herbs he’d mentioned.

“Sanghyuk and I will clean this up, then,” Wonshik said.

Again, Hakyeon was in awe at how easy they all just— Worked.

He let Hongbin guide him to where he’d found the herbs he’d mentioned earlier, which was not at all far from the waterfall, just at the edge of the forest. Hakyeon immediately spotted the plants and hurried over to them.

“Ooh, these are good!”

“I wish I’d found some edible flowers too,” Hongbin commented, joining Hakyeon in picking some herbs. “Remember in Orlais?”

“Ooh, that flower tea! Yes, I remember,” Hakyeon said, nodding and humming in appreciation. “I don’t remember what was the name of the flower, though.”

“Me neither. In our defense, we were really drunk.” 

Hakyeon snorted and agreed, bringing one of the leaves to his nose to catch the scent of it, “This is so good, great find, Binnie.”

Hongbin hummed in acknowledgment, choosing a few more leaves. Hakyeon watched him for a second before saying, “You look happy.”

Hongbin turned to him and smiled, rolling his shoulder in a dismissive shrug, “I guess I am.”

“What was it that you were saying to me? That this is not a good time for romance?”

Hongbin scoffed, “I stand by my point. It’s stupid, I know, but— It’s Wonshik.”

“You really love him, don’t you?”

“I do,” Hongbin replied without a second’s hesitation and scowled at the plants on the ground. “I feel terrible that I dragged both of you into this.”

“Binnie, we—”

“I’m really sorry, Yeonie. I— You are both very important to me,” Hongbin said and turned to Hakyeon, his smile turned sad, “you both are everything. And I guess the others are not that bad a company either.”

“You’ve really come a long way,” Hakyeon said, impressed.

“I guess,” Hongbin said, shrugging again, and sighed. “But I mean it. You are all very dear to me. Like— Like—”

“Family,” Hakyeon finished the sentence for him and Hongbin looked at him with surprise for a second before agreeing with a nod.

“Yes. Family, whatever family is supposed to mean. I wouldn’t know, I guess.”

“Binnie—”

“I’m fine,” Hongbin smiled, but it was still brittle around the edges; Hakyeon chalked it up to Hongbin’s troubled past, how it always hit him hard to talk about family. “I just wanted you to know that. You are all… Family. My family.”

“You’re our family too, Binnie.”

Hongbin smiled at the ground and said nothing else, going back to picking herbs, and Hakyeon decided not to push him - he needed a moment to himself, his own thoughts, and Hakyeon knew when to keep his mouth shut. 

They finished gathering herbs in silence and after a few minutes they deemed their bounty enough; the others were already gathered inside the cave, a small firepit burning and a pot of water waiting to be boiled. Hakyeon gave his armful of herbs to Hongbin and scurried over to where Taekwoon was sitting against the wall, all but crashing into him and half falling on his lap.

Taekwoon laughed as he helped Hakyeon steady himself, “Be careful, ma vhenan.”

“Sorry, I just missed you!”

“We were gone literally ten minutes,” Hongbin said, rolling his eyes.

“That’s too long!”

Hongbin only sighed in response to that and Hakyeon snickered, settling down next to Taekwoon who promptly wrapped an arm around him. Jaehwan, who was sitting close to them, made a sound that was an odd mix of a huff and whine.

“I want cuddles too!”

Hakyeon really wanted to direct Jaehwan to go cuddle with Sanghyuk, but the talk he’d had with Sanghyuk in the Deep Roads came to his mind before he did; instead, he said, “Aw, come here.”

He gestured for Jaehwan to come closer, one arm outstretched in invitation, and Jaehwan quickly scooted closer and latched onto Hakyeon’s waist, snuggling to his side like an overly affectionate toddler.

“Precious, pity we don’t have an artist around to paint a portrait of this moment,” Hongbin deadpanned, even if Hakyeon could tell he was holding back a smile. The smile was gone pretty soon, however, when Deceit swooped down to perch on Hongbin’s head. “Ack! What the—!”

“Deceit!” Taekwoon called, sounding like a scolding parent, “That’s not nice, you can’t scare people like that!”

“Why is your demon always sticking to me!?”

“Because you’re a criminal, babe,” Wonshik pointed out and Hongbin glared at him, unimpressed.

“What are you gonna do about it, arrest me, guardsman?” he threw back, teasing, before groaning and turning to Taekwoon, “Can’t you—” He paused to try and shoo Deceit away again, “Can’t you give the demons the night off or something? Send to pick flowers in the Fade or whatever, just give me one night of peace.”

Taekwoon chuckled and nodded before whistling to Fear and Deceit to approach him, which, as always, they promptly did - Hakyeon was already picking up on enough elvish to know Taekwoon was sending the demons away when he spoke to them, and just like that they were gone. Hongbin let out a sigh of relief.

“Finally,  _ thank you _ .”

“I guess I’m keeping watch tonight,” Wonshik declared.

“I can set up some wards!” Jaehwan said, to which Sanghyuk looked slightly concerned.

“Are you sure? Maybe you—”

“I’m _ sure _ , Your Highness,” Jaehwan responded with an arrogant sniff, firm, like he was trying to convince himself more than he was trying to convince Sanghyuk. “I’m perfectly capable of casting some simple wards.”

Sanghyuk pursed his lips for a moment before murmuring, “Alright, whatever you say.”

Hakyeon looked from one to the other, frowning, before looking at Taekwoon next to him. Taekwoon met his eyes and shook his head minutely -  _ don’t get involved _ , that head shake said. Hakyeon decided to oblige and simply sighed, resting his head on Taekwoon’s shoulder.

“If you want to cast your wards I can accompany you,” Wonshik offered.

Jaehwan immediately perked up and got to his feet, rushing to Wonshik’s side. “That would be great, thank you!”

“It’s no trouble,” Wonshik answered with a smile and, together, the two of them left the cave.

Sanghyuk immediately heaved a sigh that seemed to contain an entire world of frustration. Hongbin shot him a sympathetic glance before focusing on his tea, while Hakyeon gestured for Sanghyuk to come closer, which he did. Hakyeon silently coaxed Sanghyuk to rest his head on his lap, something that Sanghyuk didn’t seem too keen on doing but still obliged regardless.

“For what it’s worth,” Hakyeon said as he started running his fingers through Sanghyuk’s hair, “I think you’re doing great.”

Sanghyuk huffed, bitter, “It doesn’t feel like that. It’s like he hates me more and more no matter what I do.”

“I honestly don’t think he’s ever hated you,” Taekwoon mused, head resting on Hakyeon’s shoulder.

“He acts like he does.”

“He’s just a dumbass,” Hongbin also gave his opinion, setting the pot of water over the fire to boil. “I think you should just spell it out for him slowly.”

“He’s not dumb,” Sanghyuk replied, looking almost offended at the notion of Jaehwan being anything less than the smartest person alive, “He’s just not interested in me like that.”

“Oh, for—”

“Shh, easy, both of you,” Hakyeon shushed them, patting Sanghyuk’s head gently and giving Hongbin a warning glare.

“I didn’t do anything!” Hongbin said, defensive, as he began preparing the herbs for the tea, “I’m just saying, you should put your scaly dick to good use, it’ll be probably refreshing for Jaehwan to have something other than his own head up his ass for a change.”

Hakyeon gasped with shock while Taekwoon descended into a fit of childish snickering next to him, “Hongbin!”

“Alright, first of all, I do  _ not _ have scales on my dick,” Sanghyuk said, sitting up abruptly.

“Uh-huh,” Hongbin hummed, obviously not believing him.

“What, you want proof!?” Sanghyuk basically shot up to his feet and began untying the strings that held his pants up, and Hakyeon was quick to get up too and stop him.

“No, nobody needs proof!”

Hongbin and Taekwoon were howling with laughter; Hakyeon would be too if he weren’t mortified at the prospect of Sanghyuk exposing himself. He was a baby. A  _ baby _ .

“What? What?” Wonshik and Jaehwan came back running into the cave, eyes wide and looking from one to the other at a complete loss.

“Sanghyuk wants to show us his scaly dick!” Hongbin said through his laughter.

“It is  _ not _ scaly!” Sanghyuk protested.

“Sanghyuk, you are the Crown Prince of Nevarra!” Jaehwan squawked, hurrying over to Sanghyuk and pulling him by the ear. “You can’t— Can’t—  _ Flash _ people!”

“What if he only flashes one person?” Hongbin suggested, wiggling his eyebrows, and Hakyeon groaned.

“Hongbin, I’m standing right here!” Wonshik exclaimed.

“I wasn’t talking about me,” Hongbin said innocently, staring straight at Jaehwan. Realization dawned upon Wonshik, his mouth forming an ‘o’ of understanding.

“What!?” Jaehwan noticed the stare and shrieked, his voice several octaves higher than normal.

Taekwoon was too busy laughing to be of any use - Hakyeon still loved him very much, though - so Hakyeon took it upon himself to step in. “Nobody is flashing anybody! Sanghyuk, Jaehwan, sit  _ down.” _

They both did as told, looking like sulky children, and Sanghyuk said, “Jaehwan’s already seen it anyway.”

There was a collective silence at that.

“Yes, I’ve walked in on His Highness wearing no clothes far more times than I can count,” Jaehwan said, holding his head high even if he was red as a ripe tomato, “he does  _ not _ have scales on his— Privates.”

“Aw, how disappointing,” Hongbin sniffed in affectation, pouring some hot water into the cups. “But I guess it works better. It won’t chafe as much.”

“What!?”

“Bean, behave,” Wonshik said, pinching Hongbin’s cheek lovingly, “give your dimples of evil some rest.”

“Fine, but only because you asked nicely,” Hongbin said and shot him a smile; Hakyeon could almost see Wonshik’s heart melting.

“On a more serious note,” Hakyeon said loudly to gather everyone’s attention again, “we still have to figure out where we are.”

“Judging from the time we’ve traveled and the overall direction, even though I can’t be entirely certain,” Hongbin began, a small hitch between his brows, “we might be close to Hasmal. Or Nevarra City, or somewhere between those two.”

“Nevarra City? Did we really just travel around in a circle right back to snake’s nest?” Jaehwan asked, shoulders slumping.

“We’re not staying here long, Jyani,” Sanghyuk tried soothing him, his voice jarringly sweet. Jaehwan kept his eyes glued to the ground, but Hakyeon could tell that the tips of his ears had gone red.

“I can scout tomorrow once the sun rises, find the nearest settlement,” Taekwoon suggested.

“I’m coming with you!” Hakyeon said, plopping down on Taekwoon’s lap.

Taekwoon giggled and nodded in response, both of his arms wrapped tight around Hakyeon, and Hakyeon honestly had never felt more welcome, more wanted, and only with a gesture as simple as that.

“Alright, ma vhenan.”

“Sounds like a solid plan,” Sanghyuk agreed.

“Current plan is to have some tea and go to bed,” Hakyeon announced, snuggling on Taekwoon’s lap like a happy cat.

“And I’m going to go keep watch at the entrance,” Wonshik said, bending down to kiss the top of Hongbin’s head.

Hongbin tried to hold back a smile before he said, “I’ll bring you some tea soon.”

“Thank you, Bean.”

“Take a blanket with you, it’s cold.”

“You two are so domestic already, it’s adorable,” Sanghyuk, who had no fear of death apparently, teased and Hongbin only shot him a warning glare before focusing his attention on Wonshik again.

“I’ll be right there.”

They quietly watched as Wonshik bent down again to kiss Hongbin, this time on the forehead, and walked away to grab a blanket before going to the entrance of the cave to keep watch. The way that cave was formed, one couldn’t really see the entrance since it was around a corner that ran right beside the waterfall and went on for a good five steps, so once Wonshik walked around the bend he was gone from their sight.

Hakyeon took one look at Hongbin’s expression as he watched Wonshik leave and smiled to himself. Hongbin was happy. Hongbin was in love. Hongbin deserved it. He deserved Wonshik, someone who truly cherished him from the bottom of his heart, he deserved this happiness, deserved to know he’s loved. 

“Here you go, tea,” Hongbin announced, handing each of them a cup before grabbing two more cups to, presumably, fix himself and Wonshik some tea as well.

“Why are you making yours and Wonshik’s tea separate?” Jaehwan asked, eyes narrowed suspiciously.

“Because I only have a little bit of mint left and I’m biased,” Hongbin said with a simple shrug.

Jaehwan gasped, “I can’t believe you didn’t share the last of the mint!”

“I  _ am _ sharing. With Shikkie,” Hongbin said and smiled, smug, before continuing to pour the tea.

Jaehwan pouted but stopped complaining and began sipping on his tea, just as Hakyeon himself, Taekwoon and Sanghyuk, all humming in appreciation. The herbs were fragrant and fresh, each sip warming them up from inside out, which was more than welcome in a cold night like that. They’d probably finish their tea very soon.

Hongbin finished preparing his and Wonshik’s tea in a couple of minutes and got up, “I’ll go sit with Shikkie for a while.”

“Don’t distract our guardsman too much,” Jaehwan said, waving him off.

“Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do,” Hakyeon advised.

“And what would that be? You’d do literally everything, you nasty little goblin,” Hongbin teased, sticking out his tongue at him, and Hakyeon squawked with outrage, tossing a little pebble he found on the floor at Hongbin and missing by a long distance.

“Don’t expose me like this in front of my Taekwoonie!”

Hongbin merely cackled, tossing his head back, and walked away to go join his boyfriend. Hakyeon huffed and turned to Taekwoon, “I’m sorry, I swear I’m not a pervert or anything, I just—”

“It’s alright,” Taekwoon murmured, looking down into his cup and his almost finished tea.

Hakyeon frowned at his tone, at how his mood seemed to have dropped and pressed a little kiss just on the corner of his jaw, “I’m really sorry, dearest, it was just a dumb joke.”

“I know. It’s truly fine,” Taekwoon said, turning his face the bare minimum so he could press his lips to Hakyeon’s. 

“It’s not fine if it made you uncomfortable,” Hakyeon pointed out, watching as Taekwoon drank the last bits of his tea and left his empty cup aside. He didn’t look like he wanted to talk, so Hakyeon continued, “I promise I’m not a pervert. Really, I swear I’m not.”

That for some reason made Taekwoon laugh, “I know, my heart. You don’t have to worry about it.”

Hakyeon sighed, snuggling closer to Taekwoon, face tucked comfortably on the crook of his neck, “I love you, you know? I never want to do anything to hurt you, no matter how small.”

“I know,” Taekwoon replied, nuzzling at his cheek. “I love you too. So much.”

“Uuh, I think I’m gonna go to bed,” Sanghyuk’s voice pierced through their little Love Bubble, and Hakyeon looked up to see Sanghyuk scrambling to stand up and Jaehwan sipping his tea and staring at the fire with a mile long stare.

Hakyeon snorted and carefully got out of Taekwoon’s lap, finished his tea, left his cup aside and got up, “We all should go to bed, I’m exhausted.”

“Mhm, I’m sleepy,” Taekwoon mumbled, still sitting on the floor and staring at his own lap. Hakyeon cooed at him and helped him up.

Jaehwan yawned, mouth open wide, and Sanghyuk smiled a huge smile that made his nose crinkle, eyes glimmering at the sight of sleepy Jaehwan. Hakyeon rolled his eyes and focused on his own adorable sleepyhead.

“Come on, Jyani, let’s go to sleep,” Sanghyuk said, offering his hand to Jaehwan who, after looking at it suspiciously for a moment, accepted the help and let Sanghyuk hoist him up.

They all lazily shuffled to their respective bedrolls, both Jaehwan and Sanghyuk falling asleep seconds after lying down. Hakyeon and Taekwoon took a few minutes longer, enjoying a quiet moment just between them and letting themselves drift off between kisses and soft caresses.

 

✶✶✶

 

Wonshik was used to keeping guard at night, he was used to keeping himself awake, so it was only natural for him to have volunteered for watch duty. It was peaceful there, despite the loud sound of water - it was welcomed after so long underground, hearing nothing but their own footsteps echoing back to them. The sky was clear and full of stars, a soft breeze blowing through the trees. His blanket was warm, freshly washed, and after so many days of discomfort, Wonshik felt like that was paradise.

“Hey,” Hongbin’s voice made Wonshik look up and he immediately smiled. Now paradise was finally complete.

“Hey, Bean,” he greeted, stretching out an arm in silent invitation for Hongbin to sit beside him, which he did. Wonshik wrapped his arm and half of the blanket around his shoulders.

“Your tea,” Hongbin said, handing him one of the cups he was holding, “I used the last of the mint.”

“Aw, thank you,” Wonshik said, giving him a kiss on the cheek. Hongbin mumbled a shy ‘it’s no trouble’ as he cuddled up closer to Wonshik. “Aren’t you tired? You should sleep.”

“I’m fine, I’d rather spend a little time with you, just us,” Hongbin answered, starting to sip his own tea.

“That’s a great idea,” Wonshik agreed, also starting to drink the tea. It was hot but not overly so, the taste of mint very present, and he hummed in approval. “This is so good, Bean.”

“Glad you like it, bunny,” Hongbin grinned at him, one of his beautiful dimpled smiles, the ones that always made Wonshik’s insides feel fuzzy and warm. Or maybe it was just the tea. “I remember you used to really like mint tea when we were kids.”

“I still do. You remember a lot from back then, don’t you?”

“I remember everything,” Hongbin didn’t hesitate before replying. “Every little thing, it was— Our childhood was the best time of my life.”

Wonshik smiled to himself and kissed the top of Hongbin’s head lovingly, “Mine too. The future will be good too, Bean.”

“I don’t want to hope,” Hongbin murmured, turning his face so it was hidden again Wonshik’s shoulder. “Having expectations never really worked out for me.”

Wonshik tightened his embrace, bringing Hongbin closer to himself, “We’ll be together. I’m not letting you go again.”

Hongbin chuckled and turned his face up, pecking Wonshik on the lips, “‘Letting’ me? I thought you said I don’t belong to anyone.”

“It wouldn’t stop me from chasing you to the end of the world.”

Hongbin stared at him for a long moment, eyes wide, lips parted in a silent gasp of surprise. He looked so beautiful, water reflecting on his face, moonlight making his skin glow, eyes like stars, and Wonshik was so irreparably in love and never more aware of it. Hongbin then put his tea cup aside and plucked Wonshik’s from his hand as well, leaving it next to his own, before placing his hand, warm from the heat of the tea he’d been holding, on his cheek. They stared at each other for a couple seconds more, a silent exchange of words, until Hongbin leaned forward and kissed him, a faint taste of mint on his lips. Paradise.

And suddenly, and Wonshik would likely never fully understand how they got into that position, Hongbin was straddling his lap, body pressed fully against his own, kissing him like the world was about to end. It was different from when Hongbin had kissed him that night in the Deep Roads, it wasn’t sweet and soft, it was deep and hungry and desperate, and Wonshik could do nothing but to give in, let Hongbin have his fill, kiss him back with as much passion as he could.

When they parted, panting and flushed, pupils blown wide, Wonshik mumbled, “What if the others wake up?”

“They won’t,” Hongbin said with the conviction of someone who already knew that what they were saying was true, already busying himself with dragging his lips and teeth down the column of Wonshik’s throat.

He completely forgot they weren’t alone after that.

Hongbin was— Hongbin was certainly a force of nature. Wonshik was left in a daze, unsure of where to look, what to think, all he could was let Hongbin do what he pleased, touch him, kiss him, bite him, grab him, he didn’t care what, he just needed Hongbin to keep going, never stop. Wonshik never had a boyfriend - or girlfriend - before, never kissed anyone other than Hongbin, never felt what he felt for Hongbin for anyone else; Jimin had come close,  _ so _ close, but Hongbin— Hongbin was the only one. His only one. There was nobody before Hongbin and there would never be anyone after him - Hongbin was what he wanted. Hongbin was his end goal. No matter what the future had in store for them, Wonshik wanted to face it with Hongbin.

And he was also learning very fast why Hakyeon and Taekwoon were all over each other all the time - making out with Hongbin was the  _ best _ .

And then Hongbin pulled away, his lips looking puffy and red and glossy, his cheeks flushed prettily, and in a completely conversational tone, he said, “You know what? I’ll go take a bath.”

Wonshik blinked, at a complete loss, “A bath?”

“Mhm,” Hongbin hummed, nodding his head slowly. Wonshik noticed the way his eyes didn’t leave his lips. “And I think you should join me.”

It was like his mind shut down, “I should what now?”

Hongbin chuckled and pecked him lightly on the lips, “Cute.”

Hongbin got up from his lap, and Wonshik shivered once the warmth of his body was gone and replaced by the chilly night wind, only able to watch, dumbstruck, as Hongbin began moving towards the exit of the cave. He stopped and looked back before fully stepping out.

“Where did Jaehwan set up those wards?”

The question, something he actually knew how to answer, snapped him out of his trance, “A-ah just— By the edge of the woods, just—” He gestured with his arm as an indication, “To the left. He didn’t finish setting them up, we got distracted that time we ran in.”

“Oh. Alright, so the water should be safe?”

“Y-yeah.”

“Hm,” Hongbin hummed, seemingly satisfied with the answer, and continued on his way outside, alright beginning to shed his layers of clothes.

Wonshik just sat there for a good minute, staring at the opening of the cave, trying to decide if what was happening was real or if it was just a very realistic dream. Hongbin was… He was… Did he just… He was taking a bath. And he wanted Wonshik to join him.

What?

Should he— Should he join him after all?

Maybe he should. Hongbin would be disappointed if he didn’t, right? He didn’t want to disappoint Hongbin.

He really wanted to take a midnight swim with Hongbin.

He scrambled up to his feet, probably looking like a hot mess with his hair sticking out everywhere, the blanket still wrapped around his shoulders, and shuffled outside just to peer around the corner at the stream. Hongbin was really there. Naked and glittering under the moonlight.

That was the definition of ‘temptation’. Wonshik would have to pray a little - or a lot - later to get in the Maker’s good graces again, because he was about to give in. He couldn’t even feel shame about it. Maybe he should open his prayer with an apology for that.

As he got closer, Hongbin, waist deep in the water, turned around and  _ oh Maker he was so lovely _ —

“Took you long enough,” he said, a little smirk playing on his lips. Wicked little thing, he was. “Come here, bunny.”

What was Wonshik supposed to do? Say no? To  _ him _ ? 

He shuffled closer and Hongbin noticed that he was probably not processing things correctly in his brain, maybe for his village idiot expression, maybe for the blanket still wrapped around him, and so Hongbin came walking slowly out of the water, the droplets reflecting the moonlight like tiny little diamonds, and oh he was so gone, he was so in love, he would do anything for him, anything for Hongbin.

“You don’t have to be shy, sweetpea,” Hongbin said, gentle, too gentle, so odd at that moment, “it’s just me.”

“I know, that’s exactly why I’m nervous,” Wonshik admitted, and Hongbin hummed in acknowledgment as he slowly pushed the blanket off Wonshik’s shoulders until it fell to the floor. 

“You have nothing to be nervous about,” Hongbin promised, and looking into his eyes he knew he was being honest, “all I want is for us to be together.”

“We already are.”

“You know what I mean,” Hongbin said, a small pout on his lips. “I want you.”

That’s when the dam in his mind broke and his control, his shame, his fear, it all went flying out the window. He kissed Hongbin, another one of those deep, passionate kisses, his arms keeping him close, pressed tight against himself, his skin cold after his midnight swim and the wind. Paradise, Hongbin’s body was a paradise.

The insecurity only hit him again after Hongbin had coaxed him to lie down on the ground, on top of the blanket he’d discarded, the panic hitting full force and he broke the kiss, eyes wide, hands shaking.

“B-Bean, I— I never—”

“Shh, I know,” Hongbin shushed him gently and trailed soft, fluttering kisses along his jaw, down his neck. Wonshik felt a shudder rush through his body, from his head all the way to his toes. “Just relax, hm? I’m not going to hurt you,” Hongbin whispered before pulling back a little only so he could smirk down at Wonshik, “I mean, not unless you want me to.”

Wonshik had never been more aware of his body and its reactions than he was at that moment, with Hongbin’s words filling up his head with the most indecent images and his naked body pressed against him, his weight, solid, tangible, above him, the smell of his skin, the pattern of his breathing. He could feel Hongbin’s heart beating hard inside his ribcage, chests pressed together as they were, entirely out of sync. Nothing about that moment was in sync, Wonshik close to hyperventilating with nerves and Hongbin, so calm, so collected above him, nervous in his own, quiet way; Wonshik the vulnerable one for a change, and Hongbin the one who was taking the lead and taking care of him, and Wonshik trusted him to do it. He trusted Hongbin not to hurt him, trusted him to do right by him.

So he let Hongbin lead. Let him undress him, slow, unhurried, one piece of clothing at a time almost as if he was giving Wonshik a chance to stop him - he didn’t. He wanted it, he wanted it as much as Hongbin clearly wanted it, he would not stop him even if the world around them was in flames. All those years of love and longing, all the hurt, the pain, it all had culminated into that one moment; Wonshik wouldn’t dream to stop it.

Hongbin touched him with such care, such gentleness, like Wonshik wasn’t a seasoned warrior, wasn’t used to tough battles and tactical exercises with the city guard. Hongbin traced the lines of his muscles with reverent fingertips, his lips following along with just as much adoration. Droplets of water would run down Hongbin’s hair and fall onto his skin, and so feverish he was that the cold water felt as if it was burning him. He shivered and writhed under Hongbin, eyes glazed and lips parted, breath coming out in ragged little puffs, his mind focused on _Hongbin,_ _Hongbin, Hongbin—_

A choked cry escaped his throat once he felt the heat of Hongbin’s mouth envelop him, his back arching off the ground, fingers digging into the soft earth, sparks flying behind his eyelids. Agony, it was agony in the best possible way, the urge to move his hips, thrust into Hongbin’s mouth in complete abandon almost unbearable, but he held back; no, he couldn’t, he didn’t want to hurt him, didn’t want to lose control like that, so he gritted his teeth and kept still. Hongbin— He clearly knew what he was doing, moved his lips, his tongue in such skilled ways, bobbed his head in the perfect rhythm, his hands roaming his body, touching him in places he was never touched before. He was melting, he was certain he was melting, melting like a chocolate bubble under the warm summer sun.

He hissed when he felt something cold touch the heated skin on his inner thigh and then further inwards, something being pressed against him, and it took a few heartbeats to realize Hongbin was sliding a slick finger inside him, the cold substance he felt some sort of oil - it smelled of flowers, although he would be damned if he had to guess which flower. He was never very good at identifying scents like that. Where that oil had come from, he also had no idea.

It felt— Odd. Not in a bad way, but different. Hongbin was being very careful with him, that gentleness never breaking as he opened him up, skilled lips still wrapped around him, pulling his mind towards two different directions as he gradually added another finger and one more, and he didn’t know where to focus. Maybe that was the goal, in the end.

By the time Hongbin settled between his legs and lined himself up, Wonshik was already over halfway gone, panting and staring at Hongbin -  _ Hongbin, Hongbin, his Hongbin _ \- with pleading eyes, asking for  _ more, more, please more _ . Hongbin shushed him again in that same gentle way he did earlier, stroking his cheek with the back of his fingers to soothe him. He never knew Hongbin could be so— Careful. Loving. He had grown up watching Hongbin break things, step on them just because he could, because he had to prove a point to the world, prove he wasn’t weak, that he didn’t need anyone to protect him, and yet there he was, handling Wonshik like he had spent a lifetime tending to frail crystals. It was overwhelming, that amount of care.

Hongbin leaned in, resting his weight on top of him again unhurriedly, giving him time to adjust, and kissed him, deep and passionate and eager, kissing him like he needed it, needed Wonshik to survive. When he finally pushed into him it was drawn out, maddeningly controlled, slow, the kiss broken by their unison gasps of pleasure. Wonshik had never felt quite so full, so desperate, thighs quivering on each side of Hongbin’s hips, toes curling inwards, blunt fingernails digging on the smooth skin of Hongbin’s shoulders.

Hongbin was trembling by the time he was finally fully sheathed inside him, forehead resting just over his collarbone. He was still holding back, didn’t want to hurt him, but Wonshik needed him to keep going, to move before he went completely insane with longing. He wrapped his arms around Hongbin, fingers of one hand tangling with his hair, thighs pressing harder against his sides in a silent request to  _ please, please move _ . Hongbin obliged.

It started slow, but Hongbin’s control broke soon enough, the pace growing faster, more desperate, Wonshik moving his own hips to meet Hongbin’s, their respiration mingling each time they stopped kissing to catch their breath, mumbling incoherent words of approval and eternal love, names like prayers on their lips -  _ I love you, I love you so much, Hongbin, I love you, please, please— _

Wonshik nearly screamed when Hongbin’s hand was wrapped around him, joining the effort of pleasuring him, and it was so much,  _ too much, too much _ —

“I love you,” Hongbin murmured into his ear, “I love you, always, Wonshikkie, I love you so fucking much—”

The words combined with Hongbin’s ministrations finally tipped him over the edge, Hongbin’s name coming out in choked gasps from his throat, Wonshik’s own name being called in Hongbin’s rough voice only a couple seconds later when he, too, reached his climax. Hongbin continued moving, hips undulating slower and slower until he finally stopped, slumping on top of him. Wonshik’s mind was completely blank now, so much different from how it had been a few minutes before, brain too sluggish to form a coherent thought. All he cared about was Hongbin, completely spent above him, wrapped around him, still inside him, and it was bliss; he just could find it in himself to hold him close, kiss every little bit of skin he could reach, too tired and zoned out to even speak.

It would be good, he thought, if they could stay like that forever, together, happy. No more lies, no more secrets, no more hurt and resentment, just them as they were, with flaws and all. They had wasted so much time, had so much to catch up, make up for. There was so much he wanted to know about Hongbin, wanted to ask him about. His travels, his life, his joys and his sorrows, he wanted to learn of them all. Maybe now they would finally stop chasing their own tails and have a chance to move forward.

They were still and quiet for so long he almost believed Hongbin to be asleep. He was close to drifting off himself, his body finally having relaxed from where it had been pulled taut before, but then Hongbin was shifting over him, movements languid, lethargic, like a lazy cat waking up from an afternoon nap. He gasped once he finally slid out of Wonshik, Wonshik himself making a sound that was somewhere between a moan and a whine.

Hongbin looked up at him and chuckled, peppering kisses over Wonshik’s face, “Stay put, I’ll get you cleaned up.”

“No, no, stay a little longer,” Wonshik was quick to pull Hongbin back and Hongbin let him, settling back on top of him carefully. Wonshik brushed his fingers through Hongbin wet hair and lost himself in his dark brown eyes, the flush on his cheeks, lips kiss-swollen.

“So high maintenance,” Hongbin teased with a little smirk, and Wonshik hit him playfully on the shoulder before pulling him down for another kiss. It was slow this time, lazy, not seeking something, only enjoying each other, basking in the warm afterglow. Would every day be like that? Would the future be like that? He knew he wanted a life with Hongbin, always had, but now— Now he knew how it could be like for them, was having a glimpse of something they could have, knew that Hongbin was capable of letting go of the high walls around him. That he could be careful, protect instead of destroy.

It gave him hope.

“You should really get dressed, bunny, you’ll catch a cold,” Hongbin murmured against his lips, between once kiss and the next, and Wonshik scoffed.

“Look who’s talking, Mr. Waterfall-At-Night-Seductor.”

Hongbin rolled his eyes and pushed himself up again, except this time Wonshik let him go without protest - he didn’t want to admit, but he  _ was _ feeling a little cold. He sat up as well, wincing at that sensation of pins and needles that shot through him after their recent activities. Hongbin gave him a concerned glance but Wonshik was quick to shake his and smile, dismissing the worry; he was fine. More than fine, he was flying on cloud nine, close to vibrating with joy.

Hongbin didn’t look convinced but didn’t insist, turning around to grab a cut of cloth from the satchel he’d left nearby - how did he not notice the satchel? Was it under Hongbin’s clothes? - and once he did Wonshik gasped and lunged forward. Hongbin startled and looked back at him, but Wonshik was faster and grabbed him by the arm to keep him from turning.

“Did I do this?” Wonshik asked in a worried, wispy voice, tracing the large, red, ugly scratch on Hongbin’s back and shoulder. “I’m so sorry, Bin, I— I didn’t—”

Hongbin’s chuckle shut him up immediately. “Don’t worry about it. I’ve gotten worse scratches than this.”

“I didn’t want to hurt you. I never want to hurt you,” Wonshik muttered, pressing a kiss between Hongbin’s shoulder blades. Hongbin was quiet then, head low, hair obscuring his features. Wonshik frowned, “Binnie?”

“A-ah, sorry, I got distracted,” Hongbin said, shutters immediately coming down. Wonshik bit his tongue - had he said something wrong? “Come here, bunny.”

Hongbin turned to him after dipping the cloth on the water, face neutral of any emotion, and Wonshik sighed. He tried not to think too much of it - Hongbin wouldn’t leave his old ways in a span of two seconds. The defenses he built around himself would not crumble to dust after one night. It was alright.

Wonshik sat still as he let Hongbin clean him up, only hissing occasionally at the cold water against his feverish skin. Hongbin was gentle with him, though, cleaning him fast and thoroughly, not lingering longer than necessary, and soon enough Wonshik was clean enough to get dressed. As he did, Hongbin focused on cleaning up the mess on his own skin, humming absently under his breath. Wonshik watched for a moment, taking in his mussed hair, reddened lips, the sweat and water glistening on his skin, reflecting the moonlight.

Without even considering holding back, Wonshik moved forward until he was kneeling in front of Hongbin, startling him a little with his eagerness but somehow not enough to have Hongbin stop him when he grabbed him by the waist - how was Hongbin’s waist so  _ slim _ ? - and hoisted him up onto his own lap, both losing balance with the sudden movement and falling sideways to the ground. They were both laughing when Wonshik surged forward to kiss Hongbin again, teeth knocking together and noses squished against one another, but he didn’t care, all he cared about was Hongbin. Hongbin, Hongbin, his Hongbin, he loved him so much— 

One minute, one hour, he didn’t know how long it had been since they started kissing, but it couldn’t have been long. He could already feel the heat starting to build up again in his lower belly, and he wanted, he wanted it and it wasn’t fair that they would ever have to part.

Unlike he was expecting, though, Hongbin stopped him, kissing him once, then twice, and one more time before pulling away. “Easy, bunny,” he chuckled as he spoke, “you’ll end up kissing the life out of me.”

“Sorry,” Wonshik said and pouted, watching as Hongbin sat up and turned around to reach for his satchel again, taking from there his water cantil and drinking a couple large gulps from it before offering it to Wonshik. He refused with a shake of his head; he didn’t want to wash Hongbin’s kisses away just yet.

Hongbin took one more sip of water, taking his time with placing the lid back on the cantil, eyes low. “You know,” he said, looking at the ground, but clearly talking to Wonshik, “I do love you. I really do.”

Wonshik’s heart did a cartwheel inside his chest, “I love you too.”

Hongbin didn’t reply, turning around again to put his cantil away, “I hope you’ll forgive me someday.”

Wonshik frowned, “Forgive you for what? For not writing?”

Hongbin didn’t answer again, fiddling with something in his satchel, “I hope you will, but— I don’t expect you to.”

“Hongbin—”

Faster than he could have prepared for, Hongbin turned around and blew a thin powder straight at his face. The powder smelled strong, acrid, and it clung to his nostrils, the back of his throat, stung his eyes. He coughed and spluttered, jerking away from it, but he couldn’t react much - his limbs felt so heavy, his eyelids even more, and all he could do was lie on the ground and look at up Hongbin, silhouetted by the moonglow; he couldn’t see his expression. It was too dark. He wanted to see his eyes, needed to see his eyes— 

“I’m really sorry, bunny.”

And the world faded away.

 

✶✶✶

 

“-ik? Wonshik!”

Hakyeon’s voice broke through the fog as he opened his eyes, his head pounding, ears ringing. The sun was already high in the sky - mid-morning, noon? - and Wonshik blinked the sleep out of his eyes as he looked around, completely disoriented.

It all came back to him in a rush - the moonlight, the waterfall, Hongbin, Hongbin with him, in him,  _ I’m really sorry, bunny _ —

“Where’s Hongbin?”

He sat up fast, fast enough that his head ached and his vision spun. There was a blanket tangled with his legs, his waist, but hadn’t he fallen asleep on top of it? “Where is he, where—?”

“Wonshik, calm down, please,” Hakyeon said, and now Wonshik noticed the lines of concern on his face, “please, I need to know when you last saw Binnie.”

“I… Last night, we—” Wonshik started, unsure, “Hakyeon, where is he?”

“Wonshik—”

“ _ Where _ ?”

He couldn’t breathe. The air didn’t want to travel all the way down to his lungs. His heart was beating too fast, he was too dizzy, where was Hongbin, he needed his Hongbin, he  _ needed to know—  _

“He’s gone,” Hakyeon said, his voice choked, “he’s gone, he— He took everything, he took the books, the maps, the jewel— He’s gone.”

 

✶


	23. Shattered

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> before anything, please keep in mind NOT to tweet or make any public posts with spoilers!! be considerate of other readers who don't have the availability to read right away or can't read as fast!!!!
> 
> that said,  
> enjoy!💕

✶

 

“He’s gone.”

Wonshik’s stomach dropped, a void opening inside him where his heart was supposed to be.

“He— No, he— He said—” Wonshik shook his head, denying the information as if that would do him any good. “No, he wouldn’t leave, he said—”

“I told you we couldn’t trust him!” Jaehwan came out of the cave, huffing and puffing, hair a mess, Sanghyuk right behind him. “I told you! You got all buddy-buddy with him and look what happened!”

“How the fuck was I supposed to know, Jaehwan!?” Sanghyuk snapped; Wonshik had the impression they’d been at it for a while.

“He took the fucking books! He took my scrolls! He took fucking everything, how could you—”

“ _ I _ am not the one who stole all your shit!”

“This is not the time,” Taekwoon, standing a few paces behind Hakyeon spoke in his quiet voice, firm, and both Jaehwan and Sanghyuk stopped bickering. Wonshik was grateful to him.

“Hakyeon— You must know where he is. You’re his best friend, you—” Wonshik started, taking an unsteady step forward. “Please, tell me—”

“I don’t know, I know as much as you do, I swear,” Hakyeon said, and there was truth in his words, his voice, his eyes, but Wonshik was desperate.

Desperate and not thinking.

He lunged forward and grabbed Hakyeon’s arms, his vision becoming blurry with tears, “Where is he!? You know, I know you do!”

“Hey!” Taekwoon immediately got in between them, forcing Wonshik to let go of Hakyeon and grabbing him by the shoulders to push him back, “Hakyeon has nothing to do with this!”

“He said he loved me!” Wonshik blurted out, no longer able to hold back the wave of emotions that had overcome him, “Hongbin said he loved me!”

Taekwoon’s expression dropped from where it had been getting angry, and before Wonshik knew Taekwoon had pulled him to a tight hug. Wonshik didn’t know what to think, what to say, he only kept chanting ‘ _ he said he loved me _ ’ over and over again as he cried on Taekwoon’s shoulder, his sobs loud and pitiful.

Taekwoon held him close even when his knees gave out, kneeling on the floor along with him, as Wonshik cried and cried, like his tears would never stop, like his heart was being ground down to fine dust inside his chest. It hurt, it hurt so much, it hurt like nothing he ever thought possible. It felt like his entire being was being torn in two, betrayal raking through his flesh like claws, biting at his heart with sharp fangs, and Wonshik wasn’t sure how he was still breathing - how could he carry on breathing when it hurt so much? How was he surviving all that pain? He didn’t know having his heart broken would feel like that, like the world, his world, was going up in flames.

Hongbin didn’t change. Would never change - he would steal pieces of Wonshik, take away bits of his heart, and leave. It was what he did, what he always did, and Wonshik was stupid to expect anything else from him. A thief, a murderer. The love of his life.

Wonshik had no idea how long he cried on Taekwoon’s arms, had no idea what was happening around him. He didn’t care. Nothing mattered anymore, everything was a lie.

He might as well be dead.

“Wonshik, no,” Taekwoon said; Wonshik must have spoken his thoughts out loud. “You’ll get through this. You’re not alone.”

That only made Wonshik cry even harder.

And suddenly there was not only one pair of arms around him - there were four. He didn’t notice when they’d come closer, didn’t notice their approach, but Jaehwan, Sanghyuk and Hakyeon were all there, arms around him, proving Taekwoon’s words: he wasn’t alone.

He cried.

He had no idea for how long, had no consciousness of anything that wasn’t the heartbreak, the pain, but his companions - his friends - didn’t leave his side. They stayed there as he cried and screamed and wailed and sobbed, exposing a side of himself he never knew existed, something he was deeply ashamed of but couldn’t control, that pitiful, sniveling side that couldn’t help but show everyone just how devastated he was. He hated it. He hated himself. He hated Hongbin. He hated himself for not really hating Hongbin, he hated that he still had hope, little as it was, that Hongbin would come back and say ‘hey, I was just taking a walk’.

It wouldn’t happen. Hongbin was gone (again) and he would not come back. It was over, everything was over, they were  _ over _ .

Slowly, so slowly, Wonshik was finally able to get a grip. He heard Hakyeon’s voice, but didn’t pay attention - he was not talking to him, he was talking to the others. He didn’t care. He didn’t care about anything anymore.

He felt a shift, Taekwoon gently coaxing him to lean against Hakyeon instead, and then it was just them, Wonshik and Hakyeon; the others were gone to do whoever knows what.

Wonshik let Hakyeon wrap his arms around him, making him feel like a small child and for some reason, Wonshik was fine with that.

“I know it hurts,” Hakyeon said, stroking his back with one hand to soothe him, “I know, it feels like the ground is opening up and swallowing you whole, but Wonshikkie, you’ll get through this, ok?”

“I won’t,” Wonshik said and shook his head, rejecting the mere thought of it; it didn’t feel like he would ever get through it. “It hurts so bad, Hakyeon—”

“I know, darling, I know,” Hakyeon whispered to him, gentle, so gentle, “it’ll be alright.”

“Nothing will ever be alright again.”

Hakyeon shushed him, hugging him tighter, “It will, I promise you that it will. You need to give it time, it hurts a lot now but you’ll heal from this.”

“He said he loved me, Hakyeon,” Wonshik murmured, his voice alien to his own ears, “why did he lie to me, he didn’t have to lie to me.”

“I don’t think it was a lie,” Hakyeon replied, careful, so careful, “I think he did -  _ does _ \- really love you.”

“No. No, if he did he wouldn’t have done this, he wouldn’t have left me here, he wouldn’t have—”  _ he wouldn’t have slept with me and ran away right after _ .

“I’m sure he has a reason for it, we can’t jump to assumptions.”

“How can you defend him!?” Wonshik exploded, pushing himself away from Hakyeon’s hold, his sadness replaced by anger. “How can you still defend him after  _ this!? _ ”

Hakyeon, very calmly, responded, “I am not defending him. I am upset too, I truly am, but we don’t know  _ why _ he did what he did. We have to give him the chance to explain it to us himself.”

Wonshik barked a laugh that was cold and bitter and full of resentment, “You want to know why? Because that’s what he fucking does, he takes what he wants and he  _ leaves _ !” Wonshik scrambled to his feet as he spoke, “He’s never going to change, he’s a thief, he’s a criminal, and he doesn’t care about anyone other than himself and I’m a fucking idiot for ever thinking he was capable of being anything other than that!”

“Wonshik, please—” Hakyeon tried to reason, also getting up, but Wonshik would have none of it. He didn’t want to hear anything good about Hongbin, he didn’t want to be reminded of all the things that made him fall for him in the first place, not now that Hongbin had taken his heart, chewed and spat it.

“No! I need—” He huffed, running his fingers through his hair, “I need to bathe, I need to wash him off of me, I need—”

“Ok, alright, you do whatever it is you need to do,” Hakyeon said; he sounded so sad. 

Wonshik barely listened, though. He just shuffled to the water, not bothering to take off his clothes. He needed to wash Hongbin’s scent off of him, needed to cleanse his skin from his touch. At that moment, that was all that mattered to him.

 

✶✶✶

 

The mood was grim, heavy, and Jaehwan tried to focus on anything other than his surroundings. He was in a daze - he knew it would happen, he never trusted Hongbin, always felt that he was hiding something, but he never expected that something like this would happen. Not even telling Sanghyuk ‘I told you so’ was satisfying like it usually would be, it just felt— Empty. Despite his distrust, he liked Hongbin - he was smart and funny in his sarcastic way of being, and he was a very important part of their group. He was warming up to him, and now— He felt silly. He didn’t trust him from the start, but he’d been played like a fiddle just the same.

And Wonshik - his heart was breaking for Wonshik. He’d never seen anyone so utterly broken, so lost in despair, and that was saying a lot because Jaehwan had spent years locked up inside a Circle.

He didn’t know what to do. Didn’t know how to feel, what was the next step. They were all quiet inside the cave, Taekwoon pacing up and down anxiously, Sanghyuk leaning against a wall staring blankly ahead and Jaehwan sitting by the long extinguished fire, staring at the ashes. His mind was rushing, but it was a blank sort of rush, too many thoughts that added up to nothing.

Hakyeon came back to the cave looking like he had a world on his shoulders, eyes sunken with sorrow, shoulders slumped. Taekwoon immediately rushed to his side, Hakyeon raising his arms in a silent request for a hug before Taekwon had even reached him.

Jaehwan looked away to the ground, ugly envy bitter in the back of his tongue. He wanted someone to comfort him like that too, no words needed, no questions asked. Someone who welcomed him with open arms, someone who  _ wanted _ to be around him. Someone to hold him, whisper sweet nothings in his ear, make him feel— 

Cherished.

His eyes began to wander towards where Sanghyuk was standing, but Jaehwan closed his eyes tight to stop himself. Cherished. That was the word Sanghyuk had used. It’s what Sanghyuk said he felt towards him - he cherished him, he said. He didn’t want to think about it, didn’t want to see things that weren’t there; it just hurt too much. More thoughts to swirl inside his head that would just add up to nothing in the end.

He didn’t care. He shouldn’t care. Why did he care?

Sanghyuk was—  _ Attractive _ , yes, of course he was, even blind people would be able to see how jaw-drop stunning Sanghyuk was, but Sanghyuk— He was a prince. He was the future king. And Jaehwan… Jaehwan was another servant of his, just his Arcane Advisor - not even a full-fledged Advisor, he had no say in anything that did not involve magic. Sanghyuk would choose himself an Advisor from the court, someone with power and experience, as per tradition. And Jaehwan—

Jaehwan was nothing. Jaehwan would be pushed aside to give way to his betters.

And with his magic acting up - or, actually, not acting at all - he would be that much less useful to Sanghyuk.

It was so odd, though. Jaehwan had always cared for Sanghyuk, always held him dear despite the way he was constantly trying his patience, but he never— He never cared like  _ that _ . Never gave a second thought to how Sanghyuk might feel about it because, once, it had been quite clear: Sanghyuk saw him as competition. It was easy to wrap his mind around that, understand the logic behind that sentiment, but it wasn’t so easy to understand anymore because it was… Different. It was something else entirely. He didn’t know if he should chalk it up to Sanghyuk feeling homesick and seeing in Jaehwan a reminder of his home, or if Sanghyuk was just lonely. He probably missed his mystery lover. He still had to figure out who it was, even make arrangements for a wedding if it turned out to be a girl fit to be queen.

Jaehwan ignored the odd prick in his heart when the thought crossed his mind. There was no reason for him to feel like that, it was something he knew would happen from the very start. Sanghyuk would get married and make babies with a very lucky girl.

Lucky because she would be queen, not because— Because Sanghyuk would be making babies with her. And kissing her. And holding her. No.

_ Yes _ .

Jaehwan shook his head and got to his feet, deciding to keep himself busy with something else. He had to check to see what else Hongbin had taken, if there was anything other than his books and scrolls about the Old Gods missing. He hadn’t taken Reginald, at least - he’d taken one of the other brontos, but not his Reginald. Small mercies.

What about the wards? He was certain he’d placed wards, they would have picked up something and— Oh. He hadn’t finished putting up the wards. He’d gotten distracted. Was it his fault? For being a dumbass?

He should still check the wards he did set down, make sure they were not activated. Yes, maybe Hongbin had unknowingly stepped on one and he just didn’t notice because of the damn tea - because he was absolutely sure that tea had been tampered with. That tea had them sleeping like rocks in a matter of minutes.

“Jyani?” Sanghyuk’s voice forced Jaehwan to stop spiraling so he could turn and give him attention. He was staring at him with concern. “Are you ok? You’ve been standing there staring at the wall for a while.”

“O-oh,” Jaehwan stammered, flushing; he didn’t mean to just stand there like a lunatic. “I’m alright, I was just lost in thought.”

“What’s on your mind?”

“Nothing, just—” Jaehwan trailed off and made a vague gesture to indicate their surroundings, “All of this.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah… I’ll go check my stuff, see if Hongbin took anything else,” Jaehwan said and finally moved from his spot to go do as he said, shuffling quietly over to his pack to see what had been left behind.

There were a couple scrolls missing, those being of ancient diagrams of a dragon’s anatomy, and the book about Old Gods was also gone. The other book he’d gotten in Perendale, the one with forbidden spells, was still there - Hongbin probably didn’t think it would be of any use to whoever he planned to sell the jewel to. Jaehwan wasn’t sure if that book would be of any help to them as well, but it was  _ something _ . Maybe there was a spell there to fix that shitstorm. Like a way to turn back time or a way to remotely smite someone with lightning.

He really had to check his wards. There was something wrong, he knew so, he could feel it in his veins, something was not right.

He got up from where he’d been crouching by his belongings and turned to face Taekwoon and Hakyeon -  _ not _ Sanghyuk, he’d seen Sanghyuk enough, no need to see more of him, right? Right. The happy couple was still caught in a tight embrace and, again, Jaehwan had to ignore the sharp prick of envy in his heart.

“Hakyeon?”

Hakyeon raised his head to give him attention, Taekwoon also turning around. They were always so— In sync.  _ Envy _ . “Yes?”

“Did you notice if Hongbin took anything else? Other than the jewel, that is?”

Hakyeon’s mouth twisted as he pondered for a while, trying to think of something that could be missing, and finally said, “No. From me, at least, he only took the jewel. He left the compass, actually,” and as if to prove it, Hakyeon fished the compass from the inside of his shirt, as he’d taken to wearing it as a pendant.

“Huh. That’s odd,” Jaehwan commented, frowning. “He took the maps, why wouldn’t he have taken the compass? It’s a much more straightforward way to the destination.”

“Hongbin is not stupid, so this must have a reason,” Sanghyuk said.

“I know you guys don’t want to hear this,” Hakyeon started, careful, “but I don’t believe Hongbin betrayed us.”

“He drugged us, stole our stuff and ran. How is that not a betrayal?” Jaehwan questioned, crossing his arms. “And look what he did to Wonshik!”

“I know, I know how this looks,” Hakyeon said; he sounded so tired, so drained. Jaehwan felt bad for snapping. “I also know Hongbin, though. I feel it in my heart that he had a good reason.”

“For Wonshik’s sake, he better have a very fucking good reason,” Jaehwan snapped again, even he didn’t mean to, even if he felt bad, and marched out of the cave.

He didn’t want to hear it. Didn’t want to hear Hakyeon defend Hongbin. Maybe he would find it in himself to listen to excuses and explanations eventually, but at that moment he was angry, not for himself, but for Wonshik. Wonshik was so kind, so pure-hearted, he loved so freely, it was not fair what Hongbin did to him. Play with his emotions, manipulate him, trick him. It wasn’t fair, it wasn’t fair and he would give Hongbin hell if he ever crossed his path again.

He would break his perfect nose and make him swallow his perfect teeth. Yes.

Jaehwan’s anger only doubled once he stepped outside and was met with Wonshik bathing - bruises on his arms, on his hips, shaped like fingertips. Bite marks and hickeys on his neck. So it wasn’t just Wonshik’s emotions Hongbin had played with, it was with his body too.

He was going to kill him.

“Wonshik?” Jaehwan called, careful, as he approached him. Wonshik barely flinched upon hearing his voice, turning around to face him; his eyes were puffy and red, face swollen from all the crying. Jaehwan felt like crying himself seeing Wonshik like that. “Those bruises—”

“O-oh,” Wonshik stammered, face flushing from embarrassment this time, “I— I didn’t realize it, I—”

“Do you want me to heal them for you?” Jaehwan decided to go straight to the point and ask; he didn’t want to put Wonshik through any more discomfort.

Wonshik opened his mouth to answer, but closed it and frowned, thinking of it further before replying in a steady voice, “No. No, I want— I need the reminder.”

Jaehwan’s heart broke, his anger rising within him like a wave. It wasn’t fair. It wasn’t fucking fair.

“Do you want something for the pain, at least?”

“Yes, I think I can accept that. Thank you, Jaehwan.”

Jaehwan somehow managed to beam at Wonshik, like he wasn’t about to explode with rage. “It’s no trouble! And you can call me Jyani.”

“Jyani…?” Wonshik tested the nickname and shook his head, “No, doesn’t sound right for me. Jaehwanie.”

“That’s fine too! I like it,” Jaehwan nodded after speaking, his smile more genuine. “I just need to check my wards really quick and I’ll see if I have something to help you with the pain.”

“No hurry, I still have a lot of scrubbing to do,” Wonshik motioned awkwardly at the water as he spoke. The anger rose again.

“Don’t forget to wash behind your ears,” Jaehwan said, trying to lighten up the mood. Wonshik smiled, which was a start.

Jaehwan let Wonshik continue to wash his god-like body - he had eyes that worked fine, he noticed Wonshik’s ridiculously attractive abs, thank you - and moved over to where he’d placed the wards. Immediately he already knew they weren’t there; if they were, he’d be able to feel them. He felt nothing but a faint, faraway buzzing under his skin.

Once he reached the place where he’d cast the wards the night before, all he found were faded lines on the ground, just the littlest bit charred - they weren’t there for long, then. Which meant that Hongbin had either found a way to dispel them or—

No. No, no, he was fine, his magic had worked fine the night before, so—

It had to have been Hongbin.

But how it would have been Hongbin? Hongbin, as far as he knew, didn’t have magic. It was necessary to have magic to break his wards like that, so— Thoroughly.

Jaehwan closed his eyes and took a deep breath.  _ Shit _ , he thought,  _ this is really happening _ .

He had to play it cool. Yes, play it cool, but he had to figure this out. He had a hunch, an inkling as to what the problem was, but he was afraid of confirming it. Confirming it would mean— It would mean the end of so many things.

Taekwoon. He needed to talk to Taekwoon. Taekwoon could figure that out. Yes. Taekwoon. Get Taekwoon. Play it cool.

He took a deep breath and shuffled back towards the cave, smiling mildly at Wonshik as he walked by him - making a point not to stare at his ass (too much) - and all the while acting as if everything was ok and fine in the world. Nothing to see here, nobody is having magical problems!

The moment he was out of view from Wonshik, he sped up his pace behind the waterfall and into the cave, stopping only peek around the corner to see if Taekwoon was busy. Surprise, surprise, he was,  _ again _ , wrapped around Hakyeon with Hakyeon wrapped around him. That was  _ not the time to be wrapped around your boyfriend _ , and no, Jaehwan wasn’t thinking that just because he was jealous. Absolutely not. It was a time of crisis and chaos. They had all to be alert because betrayal was lurking around and creeping up from the shadows. Jealousy? He didn’t know what that was, it wasn’t a word he was familiar with.

He decided to give them a second. Go to his pack, get something to help Wonshik with his aches and pains, deliver the potion, stare a little bit - he wasn’t stupid, of course he’d look - and  _ then _ come back to see if Taekwoon was still busy.

Alas, after doing all of that… Taekwoon was still caught up in a tight embrace with Hakyeon, seemingly having a whispered conversation. Dammit. He would have to get in there. He hated interrupting couples.

He had to do what he had to do, though.

“Daeguni?” Jaehwan called, being careful not to startle them, and Taekwoon raised his head to look at him. Hakyeon also turned, because apparently they were now a single organism. Fine, maybe he was a little envious. “Can I talk to you for a second?”

Taekwoon blinked at him slowly, assessing, that stare that could see into his soul, and nodded. Hakyeon gave them a quizzical look but said nothing, only giving Taekwoon a parting kiss before he went to join Sanghyuk to do whatever it was Sanghyuk was doing. Food, probably. They hadn’t eaten anything yet.

Jaehwan motioned with his head to indicate that they should go outside for that particular conversation, and Taekwoon, looking puzzled, quietly followed him. Wonshik was done bathing by then, now focused on drying himself, and Jaehwan decided not to distract him this time around. He walked the other way, away from the waterfall and towards the edge of the woods, not too far - with how loud the sound of water was, they wouldn’t be able to hear them from there. 

“What’s wrong?” Taekwoon asked as soon as Jaehwan stopped walking and turned to him.

“Daeguni, I—” Jaehwan started but trailed off. He didn’t even know how to start that conversation. “Something’s wrong with me.”

Taekwoon gave him a deadpan look and said, “You’re going to have to be more specific.”

“I’m serious!” Jaehwan exclaimed, “Something’s off with my magic!”

That finally seemed to get Taekwoon’s attention, for he immediately frowned, concern obvious in his features. “With your magic? What’s wrong with it?”

“I don’t know and I’m freaking out!” Jaehwan panic-hissed and Taekwoon raised both hands in the universal gesture of ‘calm the fuck down’.

“What is happening with your magic?”

“It’s— It’s not working! I mean, sometimes it works, but sometimes it doesn’t, and when it does work I feel like it takes forever for me to cast a spell, and the wards!” Jaehwan gestured towards the other side of the waterfall, where his wards were supposed to be. “They’re not there, the wards are not there, they just— Just evaporated!”

“Jaehwan, stop, stop,” Taekwoon said as he grabbed Jaehwan by the shoulders, “I need you to stop for a moment and breathe.”

“But Taekwoon, the—”

“ _ Breathe _ .”

Jaehwan clamped his mouth shut and inhaled deeply through his nose under Taekwoon’s intense stare. Breathe. Ok, he could breathe. Breathing was easy, he could still do that - unlike magic, which he, apparently, couldn’t.

“Now,  _ calmly _ , tell me what’s wrong.”

“Ok. For a few weeks now,” Jaehwan started from the top, trying to talk slow and be coherent, while he was panicking on the inside, “I’ve been having trouble casting spells.”

Taekwoon hummed and nodded, signaling he’d understood the issue, and asked, “All spells?”

“Yes, all spells. Well, not all, my blood magic still works fine.”

Taekwoon almost instantly changed his expression to one of realization, “I think I know what’s happening.”

“I think I do too, but I’m so scared of confirming it,” Jaehwan admitted, finally said it out loud. It felt liberating in a very depressing way.

“I have to check to be sure. Are you ok with that?”

“Yes, I’m fine with it, whatever you have to do.”

Taekwoon stared at him for a moment longer, searching for any signs Jaehwan wasn’t sure, but he would find none - Jaehwan was standing on the edge of a cliff and he was so tired of tiptoeing around it. He had to know, he had to know so he could start fixing it or, in the worst case, prepare for the consequences.

Taekwoon whistled and in a matter of seconds both Fear and Deceit materialized on his shoulders. He gave Deceit a sideways look and— Yes, he was pouting, that was definitely a pout.

“I’m not speaking to you.”

Deceit puffed up its feathers in protest and cawed - which, sure, was cute, but Taekwoon scoffed.

“No point in apologizing now that you have your belly full,” he said, almost mocking, “you selfish little chicken.”

Jaehwan bit his lips not to laugh at his choice of words. 

“Go on, go find someone else and help them betray their loved ones, shoo,” Taekwoon said and shook Deceit off his shoulder, the raven cawing one more time before dissipating into pitch black smoke. 

Jaehwan watched for a minute and sighed, “Deceit knew about Hongbin all along, didn’t it?”

“Yes.”

“You asked?”

“I didn’t have to,” Taekwoon murmured, turning his head to face Fear. He said something in elvish to it, and Jaehwan figured the subject about Deceit’s—  _ deceit _ was meant to be dropped. Then, turning to Jaehwan again, Taekwoon said, “I need you to close your eyes and try to reach into the Fade. Fear will be in the Fade, watching.”

“And that will help?” Jaehwan’s question came as a meek excuse of a sound.

“Yes. It will help.”

Jaehwan took a deep breath, nodded a couple times to confirm again that he was fine with it, and closed his eyes. He didn’t want to reach into the Fade, didn’t want to fail at something that once had been so simple for him in front of Taekwoon, in front of Fear, but he had to know. The clock was ticking and he had to deal with it. Better it be with Taekwoon, someone he trusted, than having to figure it out by himself.

As was already becoming routine, he couldn’t manage it right away. He tried and tried to reach into the Fade, summon his magic, but it was like the more he reached, further away the Fade was from him. Like stretching out a hand to touch someone who was walking away.

And wasn’t that a fitting analogy?

Finally, after what felt like several minutes, he did it - he stretched far enough to touch the Fade, grasped it tight enough not to let it escape. He held onto it with significant effort, until Taekwoon told him that he could stop.

Once he opened his eyes, Fear was perched on Taekwoon’s shoulder again, Taekwoon nodding slowly as he received the information. Jaehwan just waited, shifting nervously where he stood. That was it, that was the moment for the hammer to drop.

Taekwoon nodded one last time at Fear, the demon disappearing as if blown away by the breeze, and turned to face Jaehwan again, “You have been using your blood magic frequently.”

It wasn’t a question, but a statement. Jaehwan’s heart dropped, sunk, and he heaved a shaky breath. It was exactly as he feared, then - his blood magic was the problem. He knew it could happen, had read about it, how using the magic inherent in one’s blood could eventually result in being cut off from the Fade. He hadn’t been dreaming much the past month or so either. Had no demons whispering temptation into his ears anymore. It was like the door that once had been open to him was now closed and all he had was a tiny little window - he could see through it, and sometimes the window would be open wide enough that he could slip a hand inside, but he could do no more than that.

“Is it reversible?” Jaehwan asked the only question that mattered, that only question that could give him hope.

“I don’t know,” Taekwoon answer, honest. “Maybe. You would have to stop using blood magic altogether for that to happen, though.”

“Shit. Fuck. Ok,” Jaehwan took a deep breath after speaking. “So my options are to stop using it or embrace it.”

Taekwoon hummed and nodded, “Yes, that is correct.”

“Shit.”

“I’ll give you a moment to think about it,” Taekwoon said, giving him a supportive little shoulder squeeze before walking away towards the cave. Jaehwan glanced at the waterfall - Wonshik wasn’t there anymore.

It was just him and his thoughts. No good company.

Giving up blood magic or being a blood mage and nothing else. Could he give it up? Could he live as a blood mage?

Giving up blood magic was no guarantee that he would ever be able to use his “Fade magic” again, even if the odds were bent towards that direction. Who knows, maybe he could only ever tap into a small amount of power - what would happen when he needed to defend himself and the people he loved? And at that very moment he  _ needed _ the power, because there were threats everywhere; giving up his blood magic at that moment would do nobody any good, and to keep using blood magic would only make matters worse.

He could keep his magic usage to a minimum, try to delay the effects of his dwindling connection to the Fade and deal with them once the matter with the cultists was over. That would be the correct way to proceed, in his mind.

But he still remembered why he had turned to blood magic in the first place. Sanghyuk— Sanghyuk was the reason. He needed the blood magic to keep Sanghyuk healthy, to keep him—  _ Himself _ . He would never ask Sanghyuk to give up Reaving, but he knew that it was like walking a tightrope. Sanghyuk could one day enter a fit of rage and tear everything -  _ everyone _ \- he loved to pieces. He would never sit back and allow Sanghyuk to go through something like that, which was why he became a blood mage. Sanghyuk was always his number one priority, so it was not about only Jaehwan - it was about Sanghyuk and his safety, his well being.

He needed blood magic to keep Sanghyuk from losing himself, but he couldn’t be a fulltime blood mage and remain his Arcane Advisor. Arcane Advisors didn’t hold any particular power, per se, but he  _ was _ required to be a part of the King’s court. That meant he had to socialize and, at times, perform “magic tricks” to entertain the court. It wasn’t something he could refuse, and if he did, they would know something was off. If someone more persistent came sniffing around and found out that Jaehwan was a blood mage, he would be killed and Sanghyuk’s position would be endangered. His entire reputation would be tarnished in the eyes of the people, and Jaehwan— He couldn’t. He couldn’t allow that.

He loved his position, loved the perks, loved the freedom that came with it, loved— No. He couldn’t. Sanghyuk was more important than Jaehwan’s happiness. The choice was obvious. It was staring at him right in the eyes.

He would have to step down as his advisor. For Sanghyuk’s sake, he would do it. To any lengths, he’d said.

To any lengths.

 

✶✶✶

 

Taekwoon was just done cleaning up after their modest late lunch, drying his hands with a cloth, when Hakyeon approached him and slumped next to him on the ground, leaning his full weight on him. Taekwoon immediately dropped the cloth so he could embrace Hakyeon, give him comfort in some sort of way; he was never very good at comforting, wasn’t sure if what he was doing was any good, but he had to try.

“Are you alright, my heart?” Taekwoon asked in a soft voice, low and careful.

“No. No, I’m not.”

Of course he wasn’t alright. Stupid question. “Is there anything I can do to help?”

“Sweetest,” Hakyeon murmured, turning his face to plant a kiss on Taekwoon’s shoulder. “I just need not to think about it.”

Taekwoon pressed Hakyeon tighter against himself, nuzzling the top of his head. His hair smelled of fresh water and sunshine. “Avoiding it won’t make the feelings go away.”

“When did you get so smart?”

“When I met you.”

Hakyeon made a noise that was half a snort half a high-pitched squeal and latched on to him, peppering kisses all over his face. “Ugh, you’re so sweet, I love you!”

Taekwoon couldn’t help but smile, even if he was still very much concerned for his love’s sake. “And I love you.”

“I don’t know what I’d do if you weren’t here right now,” Hakyeon admitted in a small voice, “it’s like I’m standing in the middle of a hurricane and I don’t know what to do, or what to say, or where to go, but you— You’re like a safe place. You’re my safe place.”

Taekwoon’s heart melted upon hearing those words, “You’re my safe place too, Hakyeon.”

Hakyeon took a deep breath and exhaled just as heavily, a sad smile creeping up on his features, “Why would he do something like this?”

Taekwoon kissed Hakyeon’s forehead lovingly, not knowing what else he could do, “I don’t know.” There was a brief silence between them, Taekwoon’s mind reeling trying to come up with something that could help, and what eventually came out of his mouth was, “Do you want to brush my hair?”

Hakyeon chuckled, the sound a little wet around the edges, and with a nod he answered, “Yeah, that sounds good. I’ll go grab a comb.”

Taekwoon let Hakyeon go so he could get up and go to the cave where his belongings were, and he watched him go with his heart tight as if there was a hand squeezing it. Hakyeon was— He was heartbroken and it showed. Taekwoon himself wasn’t sure how to feel about it all; he was never very close to Hongbin, he was…  _ Cordial _ with him. He appreciated Hongbin for always worrying and taking care of Hakyeon, but they weren’t— Friends. They had a mutual understanding that basically revolved around their shared love for Hakyeon, but the loss of Hongbin to their group didn’t affect him much.

In fact, he was much angrier with Deceit for being, well. Deceitful. Sure, it was in its nature as a demon of deceit, but they were supposed to be family!

Hongbin, though— He didn’t expect it, but he was also not surprised. He wasn’t hurt by it. He was used to people leaving, and although this time he wasn’t the only one being left behind, it felt bitterly familiar. His heart was breaking, not for himself, but for Hakyeon. For Wonshik. They were the ones going through the pain of Hongbin’s treachery, the ones hit the hardest by his absence.

But there was something not sitting right with him. Something about that entire situation. Something that told him that they hadn’t seen the last of Hongbin yet. That their paths would cross again, for better or for worse.

For Hakyeon’s sake, he hoped it was for the better.

Hakyeon returned looking just as sullen, bringing with him the comb on one hand. His expression softened when their eyes met, his lips curling up in a soft, tiny little smile, a smile that stayed on as he settled down on the ground behind Taekwoon to begin combing his hair. 

“Missed me?” Hakyeon asked, trying to fake cheerfulness.

Taekwoon took one of his hands and brought it to his lips, placing a kiss on his wrist, just over his pulse point. “Of course I did.”

“Aw, sweetness,” Hakyeon nuzzled the side of his head, making Taekwoon grin like an idiot, before he carefully began preparing his hair to be combed, unbraiding it and separating the strands.

“Do you want to talk about it?”, Taekwoon carefully asked. Hakyeon’s hands stuttered where they’d been running through his hair.

“I— I don’t know. I’m not sure there’s anything to say.”

“How do you feel?”

He heard Hakyeon sigh behind him, warm breath hitting his nape, “Blindsided. I feel blindsided.” Hakyeon paused, a moment where he began combing Taekwoon’s hair slowly, carefully. Taekwoon allowed him that time to gather his thoughts. “Hongbin— Ever since we’ve met, he was always very closed off. He might be my best friend, but there is much about him that I don’t know, so much he never told me. I understand, I really do, I never would presume to pry into subjects he’s not comfortable sharing, but  _ this _ — I don’t know. I don’t know.”

Taekwoon didn’t know what to respond to that, so he stayed silent. After another pause, Hakyeon spoke again.

“I still have hope,” he said, “I still believe that this has a meaning, that he had a good reason, because— Hongbin is not a bad person. I know it in my bones, he’s not.”

“I believe you,” Taekwoon said. He meant it.

“You’re probably the only one,” Hakyeon said with a scoff. “The others would likely skin him alive if they ever saw him again.”

“Probably.”

“I get it, you know?” Hakyeon continued. Taekwoon could tell he was getting incensed - he hoped his hair wouldn’t suffer for it. “What he did is— Ugh. I’m so  _ mad _ at him, but more than mad, I’m  _ hurt _ . I knew he wanted that jewel, I knew it from the start that it would provide him with a  _ lot _ of gold, but— It just doesn’t make any sense. Hongbin is ambitious and opportunistic, sure, but the lengths he went through to do this— That’s just not him. He doesn’t do that with people he cares about, and I don’t think he ever lied about caring about me  _ or _ Wonshik. He loves us. There’s something more to this.”

“What do you think it is?” 

“I don’t know, I— Maybe he went after the dragon on his own, maybe he’s trying to get the reward money for the jewel to buy out the cultists, I have no idea, but whatever it is I’m positive he didn’t do it to sabotage us,” Hakyeon pondered for a moment before adding, “and even if this came from a place of greed, he didn’t take more than what he needed. He didn’t take our food, didn’t take our mounts, he took what belonged him, a couple of Jaehwan’s books, the jewel, and a bronto. If he wanted to do us harm, he could have done so when we were asleep, and he didn’t.”

“Mhm, that’s true.”

“And the compass! He didn’t take that either, and he would never have left something so important behind!”

“But he took the maps,” Taekwoon cautiously reminded him. “They point to the same location as the compass.”

“Whatever, point is, I don’t think he meant anything bad by doing what he did and nobody can convince me otherwise,” Hakyeon finished with a huff that told Taekwoon the subject was closed for debate - not that he was keen on continuing it.

“I know, my darling,” Taekwoon reached behind him to place one hand on Hakyeon’s leg, the position a little awkward due to the angle, but he wanted to show his love some support. “I think you should trust your instincts, but be prepared for the possibility of them being wrong.”

“You’re right, as always,” Hakyeon said, stopping what he was doing to trail kisses from Taekwoon’s nape to the side of his neck. Taekwoon shivered, goosebumps raised all over his body. “Is this ok?”

“What?” Taekwoon mumbled, eyes closing on his own as Hakyeon’s lips continued to roam the sensitive skin of his neck, “That I’m always right?”

Hakyeon chuckled, the little puffs of air causing him to shudder again, “No, I mean kissing you like this.”

Taekwoon’s eyes snapped open at the unexpected question. Hakyeon had noticed. Of course he had, Hakyeon wasn’t stupid, he would have seen his reactions and reached his conclusions. “Yes. Why wouldn’t it be?”

“Can I ask you something, baby?” Hakyeon asked instead of replying to his question, and Taekwoon dumbly nodded to allow him to continue. “Do you think we’re going too fast? Are you uncomfortable?”

“Wh-what makes you say that?”

“You’re stuttering.”

Taekwoon pursed his lips and lowered his head, heat rising to his cheeks. “I’m sorry.”

“No, no, dearest, don’t be sorry,” Hakyeon shifted around so he could sit next to Taekwoon, arms coming to wrap around his waist. “I’m only asking because I want to know how far to go, when to stop. There’s nothing wrong with that.”

“I’m yours, Hakyeon,” Taekwoon whispered, keeping his eyes on the ground, “you can do whatever you want.”

“No, this is not how this works,” Hakyeon said with a sigh, one of his hands coming up to cup his cheek. “Look at me, baby.”

Hesitantly, nervously, Taekwoon did.

“First and most important, I _ love you,” _ Hakyeon said, looking deep into Taekwoon’s eyes. “I don’t want to own you, I want to make you happy. Forcing you to do something you’re not ready to do or are not comfortable doing is the complete opposite of that, and I would  _ never _ do that to you.”

“Hakyeon—”

“Shh, honey, let me finish,” Hakyeon shushed him, placing his index finger over his lips. “From everything you told me, I’m assuming I’m your first romantic relationship,” Hakyeon stated, but Taekwoon didn’t answer since he wasn’t sure he could speak. Hakyeon noticed and quickly added, “Shake or nod your head.”

Taekwoon nodded his head.

“Ok. So,” Hakyeon paused to take a deep breath, “I’m basically your first…  _ Everything _ . Right?” Hakyeon asked and Taekwoon nodded again. Hakyeon turned bashful for a second, cheeks darkening and a cute giggle escaping his lips. He was quick to (try to) pull himself together. “You see, while that makes me so happy, so very happy, I want your first romance to be a good thing. I want to be with you for the rest of my life, but that’s not something we can predict - you might fall for someone else, we might get into a big fight, I don’t know, but it could happen. If we happen to part ways— I want you to set your bar high. I want you to settle for nothing but the absolute best, and what kind of example would I be if I made you uncomfortable and forced you to do things you don’t want to do?”

Taekwoon blinked, eyes wide with wonder, with love, heart bursting with it.

“I love you and I love that you trust me enough to share your first experiences with me, and don’t get me wrong, I want you  _ so _ bad,” Hakyeon said, face flushing even further, “but I want us to do this right. We can go slow, as slow or as fast as you’re comfortable with, just know that I’d wait for you forever.”

Taekwoon could only stare at Hakyeon, awestruck, lovestruck, starstruck, dumbstruck.

Lucky.

“You can talk now, honey pie.”

Taekwoon chuckled, at the words, at the nickname, at the fuzzy, warm feeling in his chest, the immense relief he felt after Hakyeon’s speech.

“I know, I’m just not sure what to say,” he paused, licked his lips, and murmured, “Thank you.”

“I love you, Taekwoonie,” Hakyeon said, cupping his face with both hands and looking directly into his eyes, “I’m not perfect, I’m far from it, but I want to try to do right by you. You’ve been through so much already, I— I want you to be happy. I want to make you happy.”

“You already do, ma vhenan.”

Hakyeon made a noise through his nose that Taekwoon had no idea how to even begin to describe - all he knew was that it was the cutest thing. “Sweetest, you make me so happy too, so happy.”

“I love you, Hakyeon, so much,” Taekwoon said, leaning his forehead against his, nuzzling at his nose, “I know that there’s no way to predict the future. I know. But I still want you to be my first, and I want you to be my last. I want you to be the only one.”

Hakyeon’s smile was so bright it rivaled the sun when he said, “I want you to be my last too.”

“I’m sorry I made you worry.”

“Baby, you did nothing that you need to apologize for,” Hakyeon promised. “All I want is for you to know that you can trust me with your concerns. We’re together, we should deal with things together.”

“I do trust you,” Taekwoon was quick to say, “But I— I don’t know what I’m doing, I’m… Scared that you’ll leave if I do something wrong.”

Hakyeon’s entire posture softened and he gathered Taekwoon in his arms in a tight embrace, “It’s ok to be scared. New things are always scary. But you’re not alone, baby, we’re together and you can lean on me. You’re not alone anymore and I’m not letting you be alone again, not ever.”

Taekwoon let himself relax in Hakyeon’s arms, let himself melt into his embrace, closed his eyes and just breathed. He felt so much lighter saying it all out loud, having Hakyeon reassure him, knowing that Hakyeon meant every word - he would not leave him. He wasn’t alone. He would never have to wander the wilderness by himself, looking for a purpose.

He had Hakyeon. He had his Hakyeon.

 

✶✶✶

 

Jaehwan was acting strange again. Quiet, introspective, avoiding everyone. Granted, they all had been subdued that day, not wanting to talk much or make noise, like the tension was glass and their voices could shatter it. Sanghyuk understood - he wasn’t really in the mood to chitchat and joke around himself.

The daze they were in lasted until late afternoon, when they finally decided to get their bearings and keep moving. They had to figure out where they were, so they could decide where to go next and the best path to take. They couldn’t— Couldn’t wait for Hongbin. Part of Sanghyuk wanted to. 

He didn’t know how to feel. He was angry, yes, but more than that he was— Hurt. He truly thought of Hongbin as a friend, had confided in him more than once, had listened to Hongbin’s troubles in turn and now… He was gone. Stabbed them in the back and ran away, took what he wanted and left them behind, unprotected. Anything could have happened to them, they could have been attacked by bandits or wild animals, and they would likely sleep through it, have their throats cut in their slumber.

And now Jaehwan. Something wasn’t right with him, and Sanghyuk had the impression it had nothing to do with Hongbin.

Close to sunset, Taekwoon and Wonshik set out to scout the nearest settlement, find out where they were; Hakyeon had chosen to stay behind and make supper for them, which Sanghyuk suspected was only an excuse to let Wonshik get some distance, clear his head. Feel useful. He doubted Hakyeon would willingly refuse a chance of being alone with Taekwoon if there wasn’t a very good reason for it.

And Hakyeon was outside. Making food. On his own - or, well, with Fear. Which meant Sanghyuk was alone. Inside the cave. With Jaehwan.

If there was a good time to try to figure out what was going on with Jaehwan, that was it.

With a deep breath to gather his nerve, Sanghyuk crossed the cave towards where Jaehwan was sitting, all the way on the other side, and sat down next to him before he even had the time to react.

“Jyani,” Sanghyuk started, Jaehwan staring at him like a trapped doe, “can… Can I talk to you?”

Jaehwan was quiet for a moment, staring at Sanghyuk like there were a dozen thoughts running through his head and he was trying to figure all of them out at once, and when he spoke, it was to say something Sanghyuk was  _ definitely _ not expecting.

“Actually… I have to talk to you about something.”

That was a weird turn of events and it blindsided him so thoroughly all he could do was bob his head up and down in a strange mimicry of a nod to give Jaehwan permission to speak.

If Jaehwan noticed his surprise, he made no comment about it.

“I’m not sure how to start this,” Jaehwan said, fidgeting where he sat, rubbing his palms nervously on his pants, over his thighs, presumably to wipe off nervous sweat. It didn’t help to ease Sanghyuk’s mind. “I— For a while now, I have been experiencing some…  _ Difficulties _ with my magic.”

“Your magic?” Sanghyuk echoed, “Like, your blood magic?”

“No, my blood magic is fine. My ‘normal’ magic.”

“Ok. What’s wrong your normal magic?”

“It’s… Not quite working,” Jaehwan said, a cute hitch between his brows that spoke numbers of how he didn’t know how to explain what was happening. “I had a talk with Daeguni earlier today and asked him to help me figure it out, and it’s— You see—”

“Jyani, just tell me, I won’t be mad,” Sanghyuk said, hoping those words would ease Jaehwan’s mind, at least a little. It didn’t look like it helped much.

“What’s happening is that— Because of blood magic, because I’m using it so much and so often, it’s starting to block my connection to the Fade.”

Jaehwan explained it very slowly, very eloquently, but the words sounded all jumbled to Sanghyuk’s ears. He stared at Jaehwan for a long moment, trying to make sense of what he was trying to tell him, heart hammering so hard he could feel it pulsing against his back ribs.

“So… You can’t use normal magic?”

“Yes. It’s been getting worse for a while now, I tried chalking it up to stress and exhaustion, but— I can’t keep running from this,” Jaehwan spoke fast, anxiously, before pausing to catch his breath. “I have to start thinking of my options.”

“Your options?” Sanghyuk repeated with a lilt, those words putting his thoughts somewhat back on track. “Can’t you just stop using blood magic?”

“I thought about it,” Jaehwan promptly admitted, and from his tone he already had his mind made up, “and I’m not going to stop.”

“What?” Sanghyuk croaked, his voice failing him out of sheer shock. “Why not?”

“Sanghyuk… I told you, right? Why I became a blood mage?”

Sanghyuk pursed his lips and lowered his eyes. Yes, he’d told him. Jaehwan had turned to blood magic so Sanghyuk would not lose himself to the dragon blood. The rage. Guilt immediately flooded his mind, his heart, and Jaehwan seemed to read it on his expression.

“It’s not your fault,” Jaehwan was quick to say, “it was  _ my _ decision to make, and I don’t regret it.”

“Then— Then what—?”

“Your Highness,” Jaehwan’s tone suddenly turned somber, and paired with the title it sounded ominous; Sanghyuk braced himself for Jaehwan’s next words, “there is still time until we are required to actually do anything about this, and that is why I wanted to tell you this now, so you have time to adjust.”

“Adjust,” Sanghyuk echoed the word; it tasted bitter on his tongue.

Jaehwan closed his eyes for a moment. His bottom lip trembled. Oh, no. “Once we return to the capital and you retake your throne,”  _ no no no no _ , “I will resign from my position as your Arcane Advisor.”

“No.”

“Sanghyuk—”

“No!” Sanghyuk protested, loud enough that his desperation bounced on the walls of the cave and echoed back to him, “No, I don’t— You can’t—”

“I can and I will,” Jaehwan said, firm. His eyes were shiny like lakes under the moonlight, glossy and liquid. “I will remove myself from the court. I will give up all my titles, everything your family ever gave me, and I will leave Castrum Draconis.”

“Jaehwan, please—”

“I won’t go far,” Jaehwan added quickly, as if that would make it all better. “I will probably just live in my room in the catacombs. I will stay close to you so that I can continue to keep an eye on you and how you are reacting to the dragon blood.”

“If that’s what it’s about then I’ll stop Reaving,” Sanghyuk said, sounding like a petulant child, the way he hated so much to sound like, but that’s what it was, “I don’t care about it, I’ll drop it in an instant, you don’t have to—”

“Sanghyuk, don’t,” Jaehwan shook his head as he spoke, lowering his eyes. He looked so tired, so much older than he was. “I would never ask you to give up something that makes you happy for my sake. No.”

“Jaehwan—”

“Please, just— I can’t do this right now,” Jaehwan was close to begging and Sanghyuk reluctantly clamped his mouth shut even when all he wanted to do was scream, “This is my decision. I’m not asking you to accept it, but you have to respect it. I’ve already made up my mind.”

“Jyani, please, just—”

“Think it over. There’s a lot of time for you to get used to it.”

And saying so, Jaehwan got up and hurried out of the cave, leaving Sanghyuk and all his shattered pieces behind.

 

✶✶✶

 

As it turned out, Hongbin had been right in his assumption - they were close to Nevarra City, about three days journey. Taekwoon wasn’t sure if that was a good thing or a bad thing, but knowing where they were was definitely progress.

Not for Wonshik, though. Wonshik had accompanied him and, surprisingly, handled everything with grace. He’d bought the supplies they were in most need of, asked for information, direction, news, everything, and did so with a smile. Taekwoon wasn’t fooled, though - behind that smile, there was a fire burning. A fire fed by anger and determination, a need to prove everyone and himself that he was fine, better than ever.

Taekwoon admired that about Wonshik. He saw him break down that morning, and a little after dusk he’d already gathered himself well enough that only looking at him from up close anyone could tell his heart had just been stepped on. Taekwoon never had that ability, even though he’d never broken outwardly like Wonshik had. Taekwoon was more of an inner-storm person.

Hakyeon and Jaehwan were outside the cave once they returned, dinner seemingly almost ready, and Hakyeon immediately jumped up to rush over to them, reaching Taekwoon just as he slid off the bronto.

“Taekwoonie!” Hakyeon exclaimed just before he all but crashed right into Taekwoon’s arms, hugging him tight enough that he gasped upon impact, “I’ve missed you!”

“I’ve missed you too, ma vhenan,” Taekwoon responded once he managed to catch his breath. His Hakyeon had very strong arms for someone so lithe.

“So, where are we?” Sanghyuk, coming out of the cave, asked. His expression was— Odd. Shuttered. One glance at Jaehwan gave Taekwoon a good enough idea as to why.

“We are three days away from Nevarra City,” Taekwoon responded.

“Well,” Jaehwan spoke, his voice controlled, calm, “I’m assuming we can’t go there without becoming cultist food.”

“I think we should continue on ahead to Cumberland,” Sanghyuk said, arms crossed, posture tense, “whatever the cultists want, it’s at sea. They  _ will _ go to Cumberland eventually, if they’re not already there.”

“So, what, you want to take the fight to them?” Hakyeon asked, slightly shocked.

“I agree,” Wonshik piped in, “we’ve run and hidden from them long enough, we have nothing more to lose at this point.”

“Uhm, what about our  _ lives _ ?” Hakyeon ‘gently’ reminded them. 

“We won’t have much life left to live if we don’t stop them, Hakyeon,” Sanghyuk said, and Taekwoon could see the pain behind his eyes.

“He’s right, my heart,” Taekwoon also agreed, sighing when Hakyeon turned to face him looking like the portrait of betrayal. “Going to Cumberland, we might learn something that can help us stop them for good.”

“We don’t have anything they could possibly want anymore,” Jaehwan added, “so now if they come after us it’s for damage control.”

Hakyeon’s shoulders dropped and he tilted his head back, a tired exhale leaving his mouth and said, “Shit.”

“There’s no getting out of it,” Wonshik spoke, “with everything we’ve learned, they’ll want us dead.”

“And now that Hongbin—”

Jaehwan started speaking and promptly slapped one hand over his mouth to stop himself from saying anything else, a collective silence falling over the group upon the sound of that name, all eyes turning to Wonshik. His expression had darkened, just like the sky when dark, heavy clouds of rain roll in.

“If it’s settled, I’ll go take a walk,” Wonshik announced and hopped off his bronto, not even waiting for a response before stalking into the forest.

“Don’t go too far! Dinner is almost ready!” Hakyeon tried to shout at him, but Wonshik paid him no mind.

Taekwoon sighed and wrapped one arm around Hakyeon’s shoulders.

“He needs time,” he said to Hakyeon.

Hakyeon stared at Wonshik’s quickly disappearing form and murmured, “We all do.”

 

✶


	24. Duty or Love

✶

 

They followed the stream south to find their way out of the grove they were in, the path a little tricky for the brontos due to all the tangle and vines underfoot. Once they found a more worn trail, cleaner, the journey became easier and much faster, although not particularly more pleasant.

They were all very quiet. Normally, they would be making small talk, commenting on the scenery, even complaining about being tired or hungry, but none of them was saying a word. Not even Hakyeon, usually up for idle conversation, was in the mood to chat. All he did was cling to Taekwoon’s middle and rest his head on his back, keeping his eyes closed and his mouth shut. He just didn’t have the energy, at least not emotionally. He just wanted to hold Taekwoon and be left alone.

Luckily for him, that was the general mood. Wonshik was quiet, expression hard as if set in stone and for obvious reasons. It was less obvious why Jaehwan seemed like he was smelling something rotten and why Sanghyuk looked like a kicked puppy. Taekwoon, however, was— Well. He was just quiet. That’s how he was. Not much change there.

It was a good enough excuse for quiet cuddles, though.

The first day went by with nothing outlandish happening. No fights, no getting lost, no wild animal attack, nothing. Hakyeon wasn’t sure if he should take that as a good sign or if he should be wary, because, after the wave of bad luck they had, having an uneventful day felt like something too good to be true. The quiet was only occasionally broken by Jaehwan talking to Reginald - which was, admittedly, adorable. Jaehwan loved that bronto so much.

Taekwoon would also ask him from time to time if he was feeling alright, to which Hakyeon would answer with a smile, a nod, and a kiss.

The second day— It rained. Not too much, but the kind of rain that is very thin and sparse, the type that one can barely feel until, as if by magic, everything is soaking wet and everyone’s close to becoming ice cubes. Hakyeon had the distinct impression it was supposed to snow, but it wasn’t quite cold enough for that to happen. Annoying thin rain it was.

It didn’t help with the literal and metaphorical cloud hanging over their heads. At all.

So a little after lunchtime on the third day, when they were ambushed by bandits, they were really  _ not _ in the mood.

Then again, it did work for them to let off some steam and redirect their anger and frustration at the people trying to rob them - maybe it wasn’t ideal but it was at the very least therapeutic.

Jaehwan, usually more of a defensive fighter, always keeping to the back ranks and offering magical coverage, decided to try a different approach - full-on blood magic. Red glowing eyes, people exploding like sacks of blood all over the place, and even a maniacal grin to complete his ‘deranged maleficar’ act.

Sanghyuk was screaming more than he normally would -  _ growling _ , really. Roaring, sometimes. He was standing reasonably far from where Jaehwan was making bandits explode, and he was still covered in blood from his head to his feet faster than Jaehwan was; it made Hakyeon a little concerned, if he was being completely honest with himself.

Wonshik was just— In a blind rage. From all the times they had fought side by side, Hakyeon always noticed how Wonshik only killed people if absolutely necessary for their survival, otherwise, he would wound them and knock them out, leaving them alive once they were done. There was none of his previous mercy at that moment; he was just slashing and hacking and bashing people’s faces in with his shield. It was terrifying and… Kind of hot.

Taekwoon was still his quick, precise self, appearing and disappearing randomly to confuse the bandits, shooting them with his arrows, stabbing them with his daggers. Which was, as well, incredibly attractive. 

And Hakyeon— He was right up along with the others in the more-violent-than-necessary category. He never liked taking too long, was always the type to do what had to be done and get the fight over with, but that day… He didn’t care. There was no grace in his movements, no precision in his blows, he was just stabbing at whatever portion of bandit body parts he could discern in that mess, blood flying everywhere, stinging his eyes, but he didn’t care. He just wanted to do damage. He just wanted to stab something. Someone. Anyone.

He was upset, angry, frustrated, disappointed, but most of all, he was tired. He was so tired. He was tired of running around being chased by lunatics, tired of the terrible conditions they had to endure every day on the road, tired of not being able to do anything to make it better. And now Hongbin—

_ Stab, stab, stab _ —

“Hakyeon?” Taekwoon’s voice calling carefully for him caused Hakyeon to stop and look back at his love, “Hakyeon, I think he’s dead already. Come on.”

“O-oh,” Hakyeon stammered, looking at the bloody mess he’d made of the bandit, his own hands full of cuts from where they slipped down the daggers as he stabbed and stabbed and stabbed again. Taekwoon noticed the cuts when Hakyeon reached out to accept his help to get up, but his eyes didn’t linger there.

“Vhenan, are you alright? You’re crying.” 

Hakyeon blinked, surprised and raised one of his hands to his face; of course, all that came out on his already bloody fingers was more blood. “I am?”

“Yes, you are,” Taekwoon confirmed, using his mostly clean shirt sleeves to wipe the blood and tears from Hakyeon’s face, “Do you need—”

“This must have been Hongbin’s doing,” Wonshik’s rumbling voice interrupted Taekwoon, “how else would these people even find us!?”

“I can’t believe he stabbed us in the back like this!” Sanghyuk joined in, “It wasn’t enough to steal our stuff, now he’s sending people after us!?”

“I said we couldn’t trust him,” Jaehwan said with a shrug, matter-of-factly.

Hakyeon felt like everything under his skin had turned to ice and shakily tugged on Taekwoon’s hand, wide-eyed, “H-hongbin did this?”

“We don’t know that, my heart,” Taekwoon said, continuing to wipe the tears that kept pouring from Hakyeon’s eyes, this time while he was conscious of it.

“What if it was him?” Hakyeon asked in a desperate whisper, and Taekwoon gently shushed him and pulled him into a tight embrace. Hakyeon couldn’t melt into it like he usually would, confusion and hurt having him wound up to the point of snapping.

“Until we have proof, we can’t jump to conclusions,” Taekwoon said, always the beacon of calm.  _ His  _ beacon of calm, at least. “These might have been simply bandits prowling these hills.”

“I don’t know what to think anymore,” Hakyeon admitted with a shaky exhale.

“Let’s go, we need to find somewhere to get you cleaned up,” Taekwoon said, changing the subject completely. “I have to take a look at your hands.”

“Jaehwan can heal them,” Hakyeon said and sniffled, stepping back from Taekwoon’s embrace to go to Jaehwan.

He almost wanted to let the cuts stay there. Let the cuts stay and rub salt in them, make them burn and sting, because the pain of those cuts was a good distraction from the sharp pain in his heart.

 

✶✶✶

 

Sanghyuk tossed and turned on the ratty bed of the hostel they were staying in, the third night in a row where he just couldn’t fall asleep. They were frazzled after the bandit attack, in even more sour moods than before, so all they could do once they reached that little village was find a place to stay, bathe to wash off all the blood that coated their bodies, eat something, and go to bed.

It was all the same for Sanghyuk, though - he’d barely slept ever since Jaehwan announced his resignation from his position as his Arcane Advisor. He couldn’t— He could barely wrap his head around it.

The last thing he wanted was for Jaehwan to resign. He was certain that they could find a way to work it out, to make sure Jaehwan’s blood magic remained a secret; Sanghyuk was willing to do whatever it took to keep Jaehwan safe. He could shield him from any scrutiny, be it from the court or the populace, and he would be glad to do so if Jaehwan only gave him a chance. Why couldn’t he give him a chance? He was supposed to  _ advise _ not  _ make the decisions _ . This was a matter that affected both of them, so why—

Sanghyuk groaned and turned to the other side, coincidentally towards the bed where Jaehwan was sleeping in, on the other side of the room - there were a good five steps of distance between their beds, but it was still close enough that Sanghyuk’s heart sped up at the sight of Jaehwan looking peaceful in his slumber, the lines of concern that often adorned his features softened and barely noticeable. He wished he could look so calm all the time, that nothing could ever cause him harm or concern. He wanted to protect him. He wanted to take care of him.

Why couldn’t Jaehwan just let Sanghyuk take care of him?

Sanghyuk closed his eyes tight and all but shoved his face into the straw pillow, trying to will those thoughts, those urges away. He wanted to scream and kick and punch and throw a tantrum, he wanted to get on his knees and beg Jaehwan to change his mind, he wanted to drop everything, give up the throne, so Jaehwan didn’t have to feel so burdened.

It was pathetic. He was pathetic.

His love for Jaehwan was pathetic.

Acknowledging that fact wouldn’t make him stop, though. He would likely love Jaehwan to the day he met his end. He was fine with that.

But— No. He wouldn’t just roll over and let Jaehwan make the final decision. No way,  _ Sanghyuk _ was the king, not Jaehwan. If Jaehwan wanted to decide something, especially something that directly affected his relationship with the  _ king _ then the  _ king _ had to be involved.

Both determined and incensed, Sanghyuk threw the covers aside and slipped off the bed, padding as quietly as he could towards Jaehwan. Everyone else seemed to be asleep, Hakyeon and Taekwoon cuddling on the bed located in front of Jaehwan’s, and Wonshik curled up on the bed in front of Sanghyuk’s own - he had to be careful not to wake them.

Sanghyuk’s heart was pounding, his palms were sweating, he felt like he would faint from anxiety, but if he didn’t do something he would explode. He slid under Jaehwan’s covers, the shifting of the blankets causing Jaehwan to make a cute noise in his throat in protest. Sanghyuk smiled despite his nerves, smitten.

“Jyani?” Sanghyuk called, one hand placed on Jaehwan’s shoulder to shake him gently, “Jyani, wake up.”

“Ngh,” Jaehwan groaned and turned his face away, burrowing into the pillow, “five more minutes.”

Sanghyuk bit his lips to contain a lovesick grin, “Jyani, I need to talk to you. Wake up.”

“Wha— Sanghyuk?” Jaehwan’s voice was muffled against the pillow even after he shifted his face so he could open one eye to look at him, “Why are you in my bed?”

“I have to talk to you.”

“Can’t you do it in the morning?” Jaehwan mumbled, voice rough with sleep.

“No, it has to be now.”

“Get out of my bed, you weirdo,” Jaehwan said, trying to push Sanghyuk off the bed, but Sanghyuk didn’t even budge. “What are you, a boulder!?”

“I said I need to talk to you,” Sanghyuk repeated and scooted over on the bed, closer to Jaehwan, to make it more difficult for him to push him off. Jaehwan immediately went stiff with the proximity, tense in the way he always got whenever Sanghyuk came too close.

“Why can’t you talk to me when I’m awake like, you know, a  _ normal _ person!?”

“Because you keep avoiding me when you’re awake!”

Jaehwan’s nostrils flared and he pursed his lips, obviously wanting to deny the accusation but having no way to do so - he  _ had _ been avoiding Sanghyuk. Clucking his tongue, Jaehwan scoot back, closer to the wall, and hissed, “Fine, what do you want to talk about?”

“Why do you want to give up being my advisor so bad?”

“What!?” Jaehwan whisper-yelled, “I don’t  _ want _ to give up anything, haven’t you been listening to me!?”

“Then what is it?”

“I’ll be a full blood mage soon! How can a blood mage be a king’s advisor!?”

“Certainly not with that attitude!” Sanghyuk responded with his own hissed whispered shout, “This should be something we talk about and handle together, you can’t just decide it on your own!”

“I already decided!” Jaehwan hissed back, “It’s my decision to stay or leave, and I’m choosing to leave!”

“Why!?”

“For your own good!”

“I’m not a child, I can decide what is or isn’t good for me!” Sanghyuk protested, pausing to look around once he noticed he’d raised his voice a little, to make sure their companions hadn’t woken up. They hadn’t.

“You can’t!” Jaehwan promptly responded, “You only make decisions based on what  _ you _ want and not on what’s wise!”

“But Jyani—”

“If that’s all you had to say, get out of my bed!” Jaehwan demanded.

“I’m not done!”

“For fuck’s sake, I’m going to the other bed then, since you’re not using it,” Jaehwan declared and sat up, but Sanghyuk instinctively grabbed him and pulled him back down, keeping his arms tight around him so he couldn’t escape. “Sanghyuk, what the hell!?”

“You didn’t even hear me out!” Sanghyuk replied, still making sure to hold Jaehwan down so he couldn’t escape that conversation. It was frustrating how that was the only way to get Jaehwan to listen to him. “Just hear me out and you can go back to sleep.”

“Sanghyuk—”

“ _ Please _ , for once, would you shut the fuck up and  _ listen _ ?”

Jaehwan stared at him with wide eyes, mouth agape, looking like Sanghyuk had just slapped him in the face. Sanghyuk immediately regretted the tone, but how else would he get Jaehwan to stop for a second and hear him out?

“Alright, no, you will  _ not _ talk to me like that, get out of my bed right now,” Jaehwan said, shaking a finger in front of his face like a nagging mother before turning around and scooting away as close to the wall as he could possibly go.

“Jyani, come on, I’m sorry, I just—” Sanghyuk tried, one hand trying to pull Jaehwan’s arm to coax him to turn around again, but Jaehwan wasn’t budging. 

“No, you cursed at me! Get out!”

“Jyani, please, please, just look at me,” Sanghyuk begged, throwing his dignity to the wind, but still Jaehwan didn’t budge.

“No, go away,” Jaehwan shook his head and snatched his arm back as he spoke, curling up against the wall like a child.

“Please, hear me out, please,” Sanghyuk continued pleading, arms snaking around Jaehwan in a tight embrace, Sanghyuk’s chest pressed flush to his back, and  _ oh that felt so good they fit so well he wanted to stay like that forever _ —

“Go away and let me sleep!” Jaehwan hissed back, still caught up in a valiant - but ultimately pointless - attempt at shaking Sanghyuk off. All it was doing was bring them closer together, fitting into each other more and more.

“I’m really sorry I yelled at you, I just want you to listen,” Sanghyuk angled his face so he could whisper directly into Jaehwan’s ear, and that— He definitely didn’t imagine the shudder that ran through Jaehwan’s body, or did he? “Forgive me?”

Jaehwan didn’t answer for a couple seconds, his breathing a little heavy presumably from trying to shake Sanghyuk off, “If I forgive you will you get out of my bed?”

“No, I still need you to listen to what I have to say,” Sanghyuk whispered, trying to ignore the faint smell of flowers from the soap Jaehwan had used to wash his hair earlier. He was so close, closer than he’d ever been to Jaehwan. He wanted to bury his face on his neck, breathe in his scent, taste his skin. He was so warm, so soft… He held him tighter.

Jaehwan exhaled, a shaky puff of breath, and answered, “Fine, just talk fast, I’m tired.”

Fast? No, he didn’t want to talk fast, he wanted that moment to last longer, he wanted that moment to never end, “Jyani, you don’t have to give up being my advisor.”

“Sanghyuk, I told you—”

“Shh, please, let me finish,” Sanghyuk asked, soft, lower than a whisper, perhaps a bit too intimate, but Sanghyuk was drunk on that proximity, on having Jaehwan in his arms.

“Hyogi…” Jaehwan murmured, and it sounded vaguely like a warning mixed with a little bit of exasperation, but there was something else too, something Sanghyuk wasn’t sure what to make of.

“I can take care of you,” Sanghyuk said and to emphasize it, he held Jaehwan tighter, “I can protect you, I can help you keep your blood magic a secret.”

“The court would notice it, they notice everything,” Jaehwan replied, voice strained, and shifted as if he was uncomfortable. “What if they asked me to entertain them with my magic?”

“I would tell them to fuck off.”

“Sanghyuk.”

“Not with those words, of course,” Sanghyuk promised, so close that his lips sometimes brushed the rim of Jaehwan’s ear when he talked, “I would tell them that you are not a court jester and that I don’t allow it. They can’t go against me.”

“If only that were enough,” Jaehwan said with a sigh, moving against Sanghyuk, and—

They both froze.

Jaehwan had tried to wiggle a little, likely because Sanghyuk was holding him too tight, and the movement caused his hips to press back against Sanghyuk’s, and the results were a little hard to ignore.

‘Hard’ being the operative word.

And if that wasn’t enough, at the very same time Jaehwan’s - very round, very plump - backside made contact with Sanghyuk’s - very obvious, very inappropriate - frontside, Jaehwan— He moaned. He heard it. He definitely heard it. Sanghyuk would never, not in a million years, be able to imagine a sound like  _ that _ .

There was a long beat of heavy, awkward silence as they both realized what was going on, the shock freezing them from head to toes.

And like a soap bubble popping, the moment was over and they were scrambling away from each other, mumbling apologies even as Sanghyuk fled Jaehwan’s bed and scurried back to his own, as fast as his awkward, slightly painful gait could carry him.

_ Now _ Jaehwan would never listen to him again.  _ Good job, Sanghyuk.  _

 

✶✶✶

 

Moonlight shimmered across the surface of the pond, the breeze soft and cool on his skin, bringing with it the smell of flowers, honeysuckle and grass, fresh dew, earth. Fireflies flew around, over the pond, around the edges of the dense forest around them, through the trees, little dots of light coming and going, darting everywhere on the edges of his vision.

Taekwoon took extra care making sure that every dream he shared with Hakyeon was peaceful, that it gave them an idea of isolation, like they were the only people in the world. It made it all more private, more intimate, more  _ theirs _ . It was a welcome change, considering how they were surrounded by other people all the time when they were awake - people who were loud and nosy and liked to tease them at every chance they got.

That was better. Isolation was better.

They had been in this place before - more than once, in fact. Usually, Taekwoon would enter the dream to find Hakyeon dancing amongst the fireflies, twirling and laughing, reaching out for him to join in. This time, Hakyeon was standing in front of the pond, looking out at the water, hugging himself as if trying to keep his pieces together. Taekwoon’s heart hurt at the sight.

He walked closer with slow steps, not finding the need to be silent - his steps would announce him well enough, the grass crunching softly under his boots. Hakyeon didn’t look away from the pond, but Taekwoon knew he’d noticed his presence.

“What’s on your mind, my heart?” Taekwoon asked gently, not much louder than a whisper, and Hakyeon’s first reply was a heavy sigh, a sigh that seemed to come from the very depths of his soul.

“I don’t believe it,” Hakyeon finally said, “I don’t believe Hongbin told those bandits where we were. I’m grinding my brain to dust trying to convince myself he absolutely did it, but I can’t, I don’t believe it.”

Taekwoon blinked slowly, processing Hakyeon’s words, measuring his own, “I know. I don’t think it was him either.”

Hakyeon turned his head to face him, surprised, “You don’t?”

Taekwoon shook his head and closed the distance between them, just so he could wrap his arms around Hakyeon’s waist and press a kiss to his forehead, “I don’t. I think that, for once, that attack was a coincidence.”

Hakyeon’s entire being relaxed in his arms, “Thank Andraste, I thought I was going mad with hope.”

“You’re not going mad. You’re trusting your instincts against all odds. That is an admirable thing.”

“Maybe it is admirable, but what if I’m wrong? What if— What if he really betrayed us, what if he was lying to me, to  _ us _ the whole time?”

“Hakyeon—”

“He was always such a good actor. I could never,  _ ever _ tell when he’s lying,” Hakyeon laughed at the end of that statement, a bitter laugh escaping his throat. “What if we were never really friends? What if he was lying all along, using me?”

“Hakyeon, darling, no,” Taekwoon shook his head and coaxed Hakyeon to turn fully towards him so he could wrap his arms around him more comfortably, hold him close, tight. “Hongbin adores you, it wasn’t a lie.”

“We don’t know that, Taekwoonie, we just don’t,” Hakyeon shook his head as he spoke, rejecting Taekwoon’s words, before burrowing his face on the crook of Taekwoon’s neck, searching for comfort. Taekwoon felt something wet against his shoulder - tears? “I feel so stupid right now, I’ve been so blind, I—”

“Shh, my heart, tel’enfenim,” Taekwoon whispered gently into his ear, “never fear. You are loved. I do not believe for a second that Hongbin’s fondness towards you was a lie.”

“What if it was? What if—” Hakyeon hiccuped, the sound muffled against Taekwoon’s skin.

“If he  _ was _ lying,” Taekwoon said, careful, stroking Hakyeon’s back lovingly, “you will endure. Ma vir suledin.”

“Why do you have to speak elvish and sound so hot when I’m sobbing like a loser on your shoulder?” Hakyeon whined, still crying, and Taekwoon could help a fond chuckle.

“Should I stop?”

“Don’t you dare.”

Taekwoon chuckled again and, kissing the side of Hakyeon’s head, he gently guided him down to sit across his lap, cradling him in his arms like a child, “Close your eyes and relax. It’s alright to cry.”

“What kind of table-turning is this?” Hakyeon said, trying to joke, face half hidden against Taekwoon’s chest.

“You always take such good care of me, ma vhenan,” Taekwoon responded, “Let me be the one to take care of you for a change.”

Hakyeon sniffled and sighed, snuggling deeper into Taekwoon’s embrace, “You’re too good to be true.”

“Well, you  _ are _ dreaming.”

“Shush, smartass,” Hakyeon gave him a playful slap on the chest and chuckled, the sound a little wet. At least he laughed.

“Talk to me, my heart.”

“I don’t even know what to say,” Hakyeon admitted in a more serious tone, “is there anything I  _ could  _ say? My best friend might not have been my friend at all, it’s— I don’t want to think about it.”

“Hakyeon… I can ask Deceit if you really want to know,” Taekwoon offered, but Hakyeon almost immediately shook his head to reject it.

“No. No, I don’t want to know, I don’t want to— I’m scared of the truth.”

“Alright, dearest.”

“I just don’t get it,” Hakyeon continued, “everything was fine, we were all getting along, Hongbin was— He looked so happy. And he loves Wonshik so much, I  _ know _ he does, no matter how good an actor he is he’s not good enough to fake the look in his eyes whenever anyone even  _ mentioned _ Wonshik. He would just— Light up.”

Taekwoon hummed, not for not having anything to say, but because Hakyeon needed to continue venting. If his heart wanted to ramble on about Hongbin, if that would make him feel better— Taekwoon didn’t know if it would help, but he wouldn’t stop Hakyeon from trying.

“Why would he break Wonshik’s heart like this? It was— It was so cruel, so— Hongbin is many things, but he was never cruel,” Hakyeon sniffled against Taekwoon’s shirt before continuing. “He loved—  _ Loves _ Wonshik. I have no doubt in my mind, he loves him, so why…  _ Why _ would he do this? Why not just take the jewel and run, why did he have to lead him on like this?”

“Whatever the reason, I believe we will find out at some point.”

“Andraste’s mercy,” Hakyeon exhaled the words, “he better have a good explanation for this, or I’ll kick his ass.”

Taekwoon chuckled, “I’ll hold him down for you.”

“You’re so supportive, I love you.”

“I love you too,” Taekwoon said, earnest, and placed a quick kiss on the top of Hakyeon’s head. “Are you feeling any better?”

After a long pause, Hakyeon whispered, “No… No, not really.”

“Do you want me to sing to you?”

“You sing?” Hakyeon raised his head to face him after asking, eyes shining with both tears and curiosity, and Taekwoon ducked his face, bashful.

“I used to. I haven’t in a long time.”

“I want to hear you.”

Taekwoon nodded and kissed Hakyeon’s eyelids, kissed away his tears, and softly, so softly, he sang to him a lullaby, one his sister used to sing to him when he was small, until the sun came up.

 

✶✶✶

 

Sanghyuk stared at the ceiling, clutching the blankets and trying to will sleep to come and take him away. It had been probably around an hour or so since the ‘incident’ with Jaehwan, but he just couldn’t sleep. Any and every single time he closed his eyes he heard Jaehwan’s soft moan, the memory of his scent tickling his nose, the urge to go back to his bed to hold him again overpowering.

How would he face him come morning? How would he look him in the eye again after invading his bed, holding him like that and— And—

Sanghyuk rubbed his hands over his face, trying to forget the shame he was feeling, how mortifying the whole thing was. He ruined everything, he ruined everything because his stupid body just  _ had _ to react like that. Jaehwan would never listen to him now. Jaehwan was going to leave and Sanghyuk wouldn’t be able to stop him. He was just the horny idiot who couldn’t even keep his dumb dick down, why would Jaehwan listen to anything he said after that?

He ruined everything. His love for Jaehwan ruined everything.

He would have to apologize. Yes. It was all he could do, he had to face what happened and hope for the best.

For now, though, he couldn’t sleep.

Sanghyuk tossed the blankets aside and sat up on the bed, the chill wind that came through the crack in the window making him shiver; it was a grounding sensation, the cold. It helped his mind not to wander, helped him stick to the facts and the facts only.

He glanced over at Jaehwan’s bed, finding Jaehwan still curled up under the blankets in the exact same position he was when Sanghyuk left his bed. Had he not moved at all during that time? Had Sanghyuk traumatized him? Should he go check on him or should he leave him alone?

“Sanghyuk?”

Sanghyuk almost jumped completely out of his skin when the low, gruff voice called his name, and he turned forward to find Wonshik sitting in his bed across from him, rubbing his eyes.

“W-wonshik! What are you doing up?”

“I’ve been going in and out of sleep.”

“...Oh.”

“Are you alright? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

“I’m alright, just— Wasn’t expecting anyone else to be awake,” Sanghyuk admitted, ducking his head shyly.

Wonshik hummed, his face puffy with sleep, and the next thing Sanghyuk knew Wonshik was throwing his covers aside and getting up, “I need air, I’m going for a walk. Wanna come with?”

Sanghyuk blinked, slightly caught off guard, but quickly nodded and also got up, “Y-yes, I’d like to.”

And like that, they both put on their boots and coats, and quietly left the little hostel room.

 

✶✶✶

 

The moment he heard the door closing, Jaehwan heaved a breath of relief. He tried so much to fall back asleep, to leave what had just happened with Sanghyuk behind, chalk it up to the fact that both of them were lonely and hadn’t been physically close with anybody for a while - Jaehwan more than Sanghyuk, but still. It was supposed to be easier to just blame it on a natural bodily reaction. He was supposed to write it off, forget all about it in the morning, but— He couldn’t.

Sanghyuk’s arms around him, holding him so tight, his body perfectly slotted behind him like two pieces of a puzzle— He couldn’t write that off. Couldn’t write off how it made him feel, couldn’t just ignore it.

He… Liked it. Liked the heat of his body against him, liked his warm breath hitting his skin, liked the weight of his arm over him, liked how safe he felt in his embrace. And sure, maybe liking it a little bit too much was what made that entire situation awkward - Sanghyuk  _ clearly _ liked it too, because Jaehwan could feel it and feel it quite well.

And he… He liked that too, if he was being completely honest with himself.

But no, he couldn’t like it. He couldn’t, and yet he did. He liked it.

He liked Sanghyuk’s attention, he liked Sanghyuk’s presence, his voice, his laughter. He liked his body, he liked his mind. He was supposed to like him, yes, but— But not like that. He wasn’t supposed to  _ want _ him.

It was time to face that. He’d been facing so many difficult things lately, might as well face his biggest shame as well, his ill-advised attraction to the future king.  _ Attraction _ .

...Except it wasn’t attraction, was it?

“Shit,” Jaehwan murmured against his pillow, closing his eyes tight, wishing for the ground to open up and swallow him whole.

How long had it been since he felt that way? It had started as attraction, it  _ had _ , but— It changed. When did it change? It couldn’t have been after the massacre. No, it had to have been before that, perhaps even before he became a blood mage. He did it—

Was it for duty or love?

No— Turning to forbidden magic was far beyond the call of duty, miles away from what was expected of him. He enabled Sanghyuk to continue practicing something that could be potentially dangerous because it made him happy instead of changing his mind, and went as far as to break the law to make sure he would be safe while pursuing that interest.

Jaehwan put his freedom on the line, because he wanted Sanghyuk to be happy.

Was that duty or love?

Was it—?

It was— 

_ I love him _ , came the sudden realization, along with a torrent of tears.

_ I love him _ .

“Shit,” Jaehwan whimpered into his pillow, praying to Andraste that neither Taekwoon or Hakyeon woke up, that Wonshik and Sanghyuk didn’t return for a while, because now that he started crying he wasn’t quite sure how to stop.

 

✶✶✶

 

The first few minutes of their walk were quiet and uneventful. It was a very small village the one they were in, and there was not a living soul outside so late into the night. It was like Sanghyuk and Wonshik were the only people in the world, and it felt— Peaceful.

The air was cool and fresh in their lungs, the sky dark and cloudy, no stars to be seen. Fitting, Wonshik thought - it looked exactly like the way he felt. Cold and dark.

It felt like he was going through waves of different emotions. Sadness, anger, betrayal, hope, denial. At that moment, all Wonshik felt was— Numb. He felt numb. Like all the feelings just melted together, into one another, and all of them were so overwhelming on their own that it all just added up to nothing.

He felt nothing.

He wasn’t sure if it was better or worse than the feeling of crushing despair he’d been drowning in for the last few days.

Sanghyuk was as pensive and sullen as Wonshik himself. He didn’t want to pry into the personal business of the future king of Nevarra, and perhaps once upon a time he wouldn’t have, but Sanghyuk wasn’t just the future king of Nevarra anymore.

“Is this about Jaehwan?”

Sanghyuk looked up at him, startled, and croaked, “What?”

“Something’s bothering you,” Wonshik elaborated, “I’ve been noticing it for a couple days, but you’re even more bothered now.”

“O-oh,” Sanghyuk lowered his head again, staring intently at the dirt on the ground as they walked. “It’s— Jaehwan’s been talking about— He said he won’t be my Arcane Advisor once this is over.”

Wonshik barely avoided tripping on his own feet, “He what!? Why not?”

Sanghyuk only shook his head and huffed, as if saying ‘I have no idea’. Wonshik took a deep breath, the night air refreshing and grounding. Everything was falling apart.

“Does he know how you feel?”

Sanghyuk let out a bitter chuckle, “Apparently everybody else does.”

Wonshik felt heat on his cheeks, stark against the cold of the wind, “I— I’m sorry if I’m prying.”

“It’s alright,” Sanghyuk said with a sad smile, “and no, I don’t think he knows.”

They had reached the high walls that surrounded the village and climbed up the stairs to the battlements. They could see a dozing guard on a faraway watchtower up on the walls, but Wonshik didn’t think they’d be kicked off if they weren’t causing any trouble. They would just sit down and look at the horizon and talk. No troublemaking.

They were quiet for a while, just thinking, just watching the pitch black sky. Sanghyuk was the first one to speak.

“I feel like Jaehwan’s always been there,” he said, voice low, controlled, “I only met him when I was twelve years old, but— I can’t remember my life before him. It’s like— Nothing, and suddenly  _ Jaehwan _ , you know?” Sanghyuk scoffed at himself, “It’s stupid.”

“It’s not stupid,” Wonshik promptly responded.

“He changed everything. He still does, he’s— He’s like a wildcard, you never know what you’re going to get with him,” Sanghyuk’s lips quirked up in a faint smile that he didn’t even seem to notice. “I can’t imagine him not being there, after so many years working towards that one goal. I’ll be king, he’ll be my Arcane Advisor, it was the plan. Now… Now I don’t know what to do.”

“Have you talked to him about it?”

For some reason, Sanghyuk’s face got very red and very fast. Wonshik raised an eyebrow at him, not sure if he should ask about it or just let it go.

“I tried. He won’t listen to me and— I don’t think he’ll ever listen to me again.”

Wonshik frowned, confused with that statement, “Why wouldn’t he listen to you?” he asked, and when no response came, he nudged Sanghyuk’s arm with his elbow softly, “What happened?”

“I… I would rather not say,” Sanghyuk replied. “Perhaps one day I will tell you and be able to laugh about it but… Not right now.”

“I understand,” Wonshik immediately said. “Is there anything I can do to help? Do you want me to talk to Jaehwan?”

“I— No, it’s tempting, but… I think this is something I have to deal with on my own.”

“Very well. If you want advice, I think you should be honest. You should— You should tell him how you feel.”

Sanghyuk took a deep breath, eyes closed, “Yeah. Yeah, I have to stop hoping he’ll notice on his own. That’s not going to happen, is it?”

“No, I don’t think it will.”

“I thought so,” Sanghyuk exhaled the words and shook his head. “I’ll… Consider it.”

“You two are clearly very special to each other. Jaehwan is devoted to you, it’s written on every little thing he does. I’m actually a bit jealous of this,” Wonshik admitted with a bitter, crooked smile. Sanghyuk looked at him like he’d just spoken another language. “It’s rare to see something like that. Jaehwan is so very earnest in making sure you’re alright, and you are also so caring towards him. You two— You would live and die for each other, and it shows.”

Sanghyuk shook his head, “It’s not like that.”

“Oh, but it is,” Wonshik said, shooting Sanghyuk a more genuine smile. “If I had to guess, I’d bet all my savings on Jaehwan having chosen to give up his position as your advisor because he thought it would be the most beneficial to  _ you _ .”

Sanghyuk pursed his lips, his cheeks became redder. Bull’s eye.

“Talk to him. As soon as you can.”

“I’ll think about it,” Sanghyuk replied. “But how are  _ you _ holding up?”

Wonshik scoffed, “I’m barely holding anything up. I’m falling apart.”

“Is there something I can do?”

“No… I just— I keep trying to figure it out, to try to think of  _ something _ that could have been a red flag when we were together, but… He always sounded so sincere. At least with me, it’s— I don’t get it,” Wonshik huffed the words. “The only time I can think of where he behaved strangely around me was back in Hunter Fell. We were in the market and everything seemed to be going well, and he— He just suddenly told me to go back to Chansik’s place and that he would finish buying our supplies on his own. I thought he just felt overwhelmed being around me for too long, that I made him uncomfortable, but now… Now I’m not sure.”

“You think he was hiding something that day?”

“I think he was hiding something from the start. When I saw him the first time in Nevarra City, the night before the ball… Something in my gut told me not to trust him,” Wonshik laughed at himself, tipping his head up to look at the dark velvety sky. “Guess I learned my lesson.”

“Don’t be too hard on yourself,” Sanghyuk said, one hand coming to rest on Wonshik’s shoulder. “It’s not your fault.”

They were silent for several seconds, gloomy and dejected and with the weight of a thousand worlds on their shoulders. 

“The hardest part of it all,” Wonshik murmured, low, so low, looking at the darkness above like he was staring at the darkness within himself, “is knowing that he never really loved me.” 

 

✶


	25. Loyalty

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> or alternatively, "the mechanics of a bintrayal"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter's timeline might be confusing, let me know if you get lost! i think it's still understandable, though.
> 
> enjoy!

✶

 

Hongbin couldn’t understand the point of that tower. Maybe it had been something else, but now it was used as a gallery. A museum, of sorts. As an elf who grew up in the alienage begging for scraps of food, he couldn’t understand why anyone would spend time or coin on  _ art _ \- and yet.

At least the walk up the stairs was interesting, going through all those rooms displaying enormous dragon bones and skulls, portraits and sculptures, exquisite things of the likes he had very few chances to admire. Beautiful, yes, but ultimately frivolous and unnecessary.

Probably why the Harbinger had chosen that specific locale for them to meet - his goals, too, were frivolous and unnecessary.

Money was money, though.

He reached the top of the tower fairly quickly, finding himself before a pair of Templars guarding the entrance. Hongbin sighed in annoyance as he stopped in front of the Templars, already raising his hands for the weapon check. Paranoid little cultists and their Templar minions.

“You know I don’t actually need any weapons to kill someone, right?” Hongbin asked idly to the Templar who stepped forward to search him, receiving only a sideways glare as a response. Hongbin grinned down at the man, cheeky, smile not wavering even as he took his daggers away. The other only watched, stared, making sure Hongbin didn’t try anything. What could he try anyway, at the top of a tower, surrounded by cultists and Templars, in a narrow corridor that had no room to move? Not much, that’s what.

The search took a couple minutes to be complete, the two men finally letting Hongbin through the door before closing it again with a dry, metallic  _ clunk _ . The room he entered was circular and not very wide, a long dark wood table placed right in the middle of it. At one head of the table, Hongbin found the man he assumed to be Knight-Commander Choi - they had never been formally introduced, but his bulky Templar armor spoke for itself; there were masked men occupying the seats sparsely, likely high ranking members of the Somnavaris, the “elite”; and at the other end of the table, was the Harbinger. The late king’s former Arcane Advisor, Seungho.

The scratches on Hongbin’s back itched under his clothes; they had gotten so close to the truth.

A shame.

“Ah, Hongbin,” Seungho rose from his seat, a pleasant smile on his face, “you arrived earlier than what I expected.”

“I don't believe in ‘fashionably late’,” Hongbin replied before tossing him the satchel that contained the items the cultists wanted. “Here you go, as requested.”

Seungho easily caught the satchel mid-air and opened it - he would find there the jewel, the map they had found in the Plains, and a few miscellaneous items that seemed somewhat valuable when he went through Jaehwan’s belongings.

“I am impressed,” Seungho said, plucking the jewel from inside the pouch and raising it to the level of his eyes. “I must admit, once we lost track of you for those weeks, I believed you had changed your mind and ran. You are truly something.”

“Right, thanks,” Hongbin dismissed the compliments like swatting away a fly. He wasn’t there for compliments. 

“Anything relevant to report?” Knight-Commander Choi asked, and Hongbin focused his gaze on him. He was a handsome man, no denying that - how zealous and uptight he was, however, wasn’t as charming.

“Relevant? Not really,” Hongbin said with a dismissive shrug. “Their morale is low and so are their supplies. I have sabotaged some of it.”

“Are they still going to be a problem?” Seungho asked, eyes moving from the jewel to Hongbin.

Hongbin answered with another shrug and said, “Who knows. From what I’ve gathered, they are reaching the breaking point. The trek through the Silent Plains and the Deep Road has taken a toll on them. They shouldn’t offer any more resistance.”

“Excellent. You are truly the best in your field.”

“Peachy, so, you have what you wanted. Can I go now?”

Seungho arched an eyebrow, clearly not pleased with his compliment being ignored. “You did not mention where, exactly, you have seen them last.”

Hongbin cocked his head to the side, watching Seungho intently, “Stranded on a hill somewhere to the West. Why is it relevant this far along? They can’t do much to stop you now that you have the jewel and the location.”

Seungho wasn’t fazed and simply replied, “They know far too much. They need to be— Contained.”

“Contained?” Hongbin echoed, more out of habit than not understanding what Seungho had meant with that.

“You are an intelligent man. Certainly, you understand why we need to take such measures.”

Hongbin sighed and rolled his eyes. Greedy little cultists. He could be greedy too. “Of course. If you want to know their current whereabouts, though, that will cost you.”

Seungho scoffed and said, “I would expect nothing less from you.”

“Be still my heart, you know me so well,” Hongbin deadpanned, soon adding, “For a little more, I could take care of the issue myself.”

Seungho arched an eyebrow at Hongbin, obviously considering. Of course he was considering. It was like that cult couldn’t do anything without having a middleman.

“What of your guard and your dancer friend?” Seungho asked.

Hongbin rolled one shoulder, dismissive, and said, “I will take them with me when I leave this shithole, of course. We’ll go far away and you’ll never hear from me or them ever again.”

Seungho hummed and nodded, motioning to the Knight-Commander before asking, “And the other three?”

Hongbin noticed the Templar retrieving a large and heavy-looking pouch that had been tied around his belt, moving towards him to retrieve it once the man offered it to him.

“They are nothing to me,” Hongbin finally answered once he took the pouch, bouncing it on his hand to measure the weight - there was a small fortune inside. Good. He nodded, satisfied, and moved to tie his earnings on his own belt.

“You can do it, then? Kill those you have spent months working and living with?” Seungho asked and Hongbin raised his eyes to meet his.

With a smug smirk, he replied, “It won’t be the first time I murder an associate.”

As he finished tying up his pouch, Hongbin briefly - very briefly - thought back to all the steps that led him there, receiving an exquisite amount of money from cultists at the top of a tower after betraying the people who thought of him as a friend. Back when that entire ordeal began, he never thought that’s where he would end up.

 

✶✶✶

 

It seemed that dank hidden taverns were the go-to place for any shady deals, Hongbin thought as he made his way through the crowded establishment, dodging drunkards and tired looking waitresses on his way to the dark corner where his probable future patron was expecting him. It wasn’t the first and it would likely not be the last time he met his employers in places like that, places where nobody gave a damn to anything around them, where the owners knew better than to ask questions.

It was a man this time, his travel cloak made of expensive materials but dirty from the mud of the road; how stupid that was, Hongbin thought, to wear fancy clothes only to ruin them - as fancy as the thick, golden chain around his neck, a strange symbol etched onto a round pendant hanging from it. The man was thin, thin to the point of looking sickly, a pointy nose and pointy ears despite the fact he was human, not an elf. He could see no hair on him, and while he was wearing his hood up, Hongbin could still tell the man was completely bald underneath. No eyebrows either.

What a weirdo.

“Ah. You must be Hongbin,” the man said, his voice much smoother than he expected; from his decrepit appearance, he thought he would sound like fingernails on glass.

“I am,” Hongbin said, taking a seat in front of them without reservations. “You are in need of my services?” 

“Indeed,” the man responded with a nod and pulled something from the inner pocket of his cloak. “I want you to steal this,” he said as he slid over a piece of parchment with the sketch of what looked like a piece of jewelry, the shape of a dragon with a round blue stone in the center. “Whatever means necessary.”

“I see. And who should I steal it from?” Hongbin asked, not moving his eyes away from the sketch. Pretty little thing, that jewel. Valuable looking, but was it valuable to the point of someone wanting to steal it?

Apparently, yes.

“The Crown Prince of Nevarra will be wearing it during the Autumn Ball,” the man informed, and that caused Hongbin to look up to meet his beady dark eyes.

“The prince?” Hongbin scoffed. “I don’t usually work with nobility unless there’s something very good for me at the end of the job. What are you offering?”

The man gave him a smile that didn’t quite meet his eyes; it unnerved Hongbin to his very core. “Everything your heart desires,” he said, dropping a heavy pouch on the table. It wasn’t tied, so its contents spilled out easily - gold coins. Too many for Hongbin to count with only one glance. “And more.”

Hongbin arched an eyebrow, intrigued but not completely sold yet. “More, you say? It will have to be a considerable amount, as not only this is a job involving a powerful ruler, it is also in a nation I've sworn never to return to.”

“We have resources, of course,” the man said, reclining on his seat, twining his long, bony fingers together. “When I said you could have everything your heart desires, I was not exaggerating. Whatever you want, we will provide. Money. Power. Do you want your own harem of virgins? You shall have it.”

Hongbin rolled his eyes. “Do I look like someone interested in a harem of virgins? No. What I want is more… Personal.”

“Ask and it shall be yours.”

Hongbin arched an eyebrow, skeptical, but if he was supposed to ask for his heart’s desire then he would do so.

“There is a man currently employed by the Nevarran City Guard,” Hongbin informed. “He is very low rank, according to my sources. I want him to be scheduled to work at the Autumn Ball, preferably patrolling the inner hallways.”

The man stared at Hongbin for a moment before nodding briefly to agree. “Very well, give me this guard’s name he shall be there. Anything else?”

Hongbin smiled and shook his head. “No. That is all I need, the rest I can accomplish on my own.”

 

✶✶✶

 

Furious didn’t even begin to cover how Hongbin was feeling. They could have gotten him killed. They could have gotten  _ Hakyeon _ killed. They could have gotten  _ Wonshik _ killed. ‘Everything your heart desires’, of course, Hongbin should have suspected they wouldn’t keep their end of the deal; a heart that doesn’t beat desires for nothing. He only had himself to blame for this, in the end - he’d blinded himself with the chance of having Wonshik by his side again, that single thing making him lose sight of his priorities.

He wasn’t stupid. Adding one plus one was easy for him, especially in times of distress - his brain had always been blessed with the valuable skill of working twice as fast when he was in a bind. He knew what those assholes were doing. What they had  _ tried _ to do.

Feigning innocence was easy, too. Hongbin had always been an excellent actor, ever since he was young, a talent that had helped him in many occasions and which made him so good at his job.

Although, granted, he may or may not have taken out his anger on his new companions. Only a little bit. His self-control wasn’t  _ that _ good.

Tricking Hakyeon was simple enough; he wasn’t stupid, could see a bad situation for himself, but he was also trusting, naive when it came to the people he cared about, always willing to give them the benefit of the doubt and to find explanations for their actions to redeem them. Hongbin felt terrible for having to do that to Hakyeon, of all people, but he had to do what he had to do.

He’d only enlisted Hakyeon to accompany him back to the castle because going on his own would be far too suspicious, but Hongbin had to see with his own eyes what those asshole cultists were doing. Sending Hakyeon back first was also part of his plans, and that was another reason he’d chosen Hakyeon - Hakyeon was  _ shit _ at spying. That gave him a plausible reason to not want his company when he made the move he meant to do from the start.

It happened much earlier than he thought it would. He recognized the man instantly, the way he walked, the chain hanging from his neck, the thinness; it was the same man who had met him at the tavern, the man who hired him. The man came outside alongside another hooded figure, and from the looks of it, he was giving him instructions - probably ‘burn the bodies, get rid of the remains’. It’s what he would do in his place, at least.

Hongbin easily hopped off the roof onto the cobbled streets below, his feet not making any noise as he crept along the high walls of the castle. For anyone without Hongbin’s training, climbing that thing would be impossible, but Hongbin had entered more impregnable places before. This was nothing. 

He climbed the wall relatively fast, slipping inside the barracks without being seen - one of his specialties. The inside was only mildly lit, a single candle burning atop an old table on a corner, the wax having dripped all around it; it would burn out soon, an hour or two, max. He didn’t need the darkness, though. He continued up, the only passage there was, and waited just around the corner of the first flight of steps, where he couldn’t be seen from the first landing.

After that, all he had to do was stand in the shadows, and wait.

As he’d expected, he didn’t have to wait very long - barking orders to subordinates was not exactly time-consuming, so Thin Man, as Hongbin would now call him, came walking up the stairs in less than two minutes. Hongbin’s attack lasted about two seconds.

He sprung from the shadows and put his dagger to the man’s throat, causing him to stop immediately. 

“Whatever your heart desires, you said,” Hongbin hissed, dagger pressed against Thin Man’s throat. “My heart desires your head on a pretty platter right about fucking now.”

The man huffed, seemingly unbothered. Hongbin could feel him shaking against him, though, feel his heart pounding through his bones. “Typical of your kind, to react so violently.”

“Says the asswipe who just tried to get me killed. I know what you tried to do. You wanted to pin this bullshit on me, you wanted me to kill the prince for the jewel and then kill me after I gave the jewel to you,” Hongbin said, before adding in a mocking tone, “Or should I say, give it  _ back _ to you?”

Thin Man laughed, forced and ugly, “Oh, you figured it out, did you? Good for you.”

“It’s not hard, considering how you are all a bunch of fanatic morons,” Hongbin almost spat the words so angry he was. “Getting me killed would certainly tie up your entire operation neatly, wouldn’t it? No way to trace this whole crap back to you when the guy you hired is dead.”

“A pity you just had to ruin it by not performing your role correctly.”

“Excuse me, but you’re the one who hired the wrong person. If you wanted an assassin, you should have gone for an Antivan Crow.”

“I assume you didn’t come all the way here just to let me know how very wrong our plan went. What do you want?”

Hongbin pressed the blade just a little tighter against the man’s neck, just enough that he could feel the blade. “I want to make a new deal.”

“Oh, how very bold of you.”

“Yes, well, I still have your little jewel, and judging from how I wasn’t the only one after it, I can only conclude it’s somehow important,” Thin Man tensed, confirming Hongbin’s suspicions. “It’s not important to me, though, so I could simply toss it in the ocean. Maybe accidentally drop it in the woods somewhere. Or maybe in the Deep Roads? So many choices—”

“What do you want?”

Hongbin had to hold back a smile; like a charm. “I want a promise. I don’t care what you do to the prince and his mage boyfriend, and I don’t care about the Dalish elf either. But my friends, the guard and the dancer, they are not to be harmed in any way.”

Thin Man scoffed. “How noble of you.”

“Do I have a deal?”

“I am not in a position to grant you these wishes,” Hongbin was ready to start slashing, but the man quickly added, “but I can take you to the one who can.”

“Then you better take me there fast,” Hongbin grabbed the back of the collar of the man’s robes and moved the dagger from his throat to the middle of his spine.

Thin Man caught the hint right away and began leading Hongbin deeper into the barracks, through doors and long hallways and more doors. At some point they were inside the Castrum proper and no longer in the barracks, moving through those tall, opulent corridors to the nicer, less damaged side of the palace. When they finally stopped, it was in front of tall double-doors, carved with vines and leaves and flowers, that led to, presumably, a library or study.

Once Thin Man pushed the doors open, Hongbin’s assumptions were proven right - a library. Wide and packed floor to ceiling with books, all dark greens and ebony, very tasteful. Frivolous, really.

There was one man sitting on the large desk at the far end of the room, a quill in his hand; he was likely writing something when they barged in. Thin Man only waited for Hongbin to enter the room before closing the doors, not joining him - them - inside. It was just Hongbin and the other man.

The man analyzed Hongbin for a long moment, eyes going from his head to his toes, before he motioned with one hand for Hongbin to approach, leaving his quill aside inside its holder. Hongbin approached without ceremony, dropping on the seat in front of the desk. The man arched an eyebrow, clearly judging Hongbin’s manners in his mind. Fuck him.

“Well, you must be the man we hired to steal the jewel,” the man said, a pleasant smile on his lips. “My name is Seungho, Arcane Advisor to the—  _ Late _ King of Nevarra. You may call me The Harbinger.”

Hongbin had to try very hard not to laugh. Now  _ that _ was a tacky title. “Ok. ‘ _ The Harbinger’ _ . I hear you’re the one calling the shots here, and I want you to call some shots for me if you want your jewel back.”

Seungho laughed through his nose and said, “You have spunk, I’ll give you that. What is it that you want?”

“I have a couple friends who got dragged into this. All I want is for them to not come to any harm.”

“And in exchange, you will give us the jewel?”

“Yes.”

Seungho took a deep breath, considering, as he leaned back on the large, comfortable-looking seat, “It sounds simple enough. I, however, have another proposition.”

Hongbin rolled his eyes and slumped down on his chair, “Very well, let’s hear it.”

“Keep the jewel. For now. Having it while not knowing where it leads will not be of any help to us, and if we can have someone else take the risks to find out, it sounds to me like a good enough reason to let you and your little friends have it.”

A scoff left Hongbin’s lips before he could help himself, “So we are to chase after something  _ you _ want to find? It sounds extremely lazy to me.”

“It sounds like a good exchange to me,” Seungho raised one shoulder, dismissing Hongbin’s comment. “You have something I want. I can give you something you want, which is the safety of your friends. Find what I seek, and they will not come to any harm.  _ You _ will not come to any harm either.”

Hongbin narrowed his eyes at him, suspicious. “And all we have to do is figure out where the jewel… Leads? It is a map, then?”

“A map, yes,” Seungho said as he nodded, “and a key.”

“I can see it being a key,” Hongbin granted. “It doesn’t look like a map to me, though.”

“It is ancient magic. It must be— Activated.”

“And how do I activate it?”

“There is a place, but—” Seungho paused and chuckled. The dramatics were starting to give Hongbin a headache. “If I tell you, then it won’t be any fun, will it?”

Hongbin rolled his eyes. “You have me running  _ your _ menial errands and you want me to have fun? Just tell me already and save us both the trouble.”

Seungho’s mouth twisted in distaste, as he was clearly aiming for Hongbin to play along with his mirth. “Very well. It lies somewhere in the Silent Plains.”

Hongbin blinked, staring deadpan at Seungho. “...You’re joking.”

“I do not joke. We were just not able to determine the precise location, and the Plains are not exactly welcoming to explorers.”

“So we’re supposed to explore it for you, is that it?”

“Yes. That is it.”

Hongbin took a deep breath to reel in his annoyance. “Very well. I will find you this place where the map can be activated or whatever, and you will not harm me or my friends. That is the deal.”

“That is the deal,” Seungho easily agreed.

“And I still want the money that was promised to me,” Hongbin added and grinned upon the flash of exasperation that crossed Seungho’s eyes, “for the inconvenience of almost being killed by you and your creepy club.”

“I suppose that is fair,” Seungho reluctantly agreed. “They must not find out about our arrangement, of course.”

“Of course. I am a professional, after all.”

“Good. Then we have a deal,” Seungho concluded with a smile. “The next time we contact you, you will receive the first half of your money.”

“Sounds terrific,” Hongbin said, flat, bland, and rose from his seat. Before turning to leave, he said as seriously as serious could be, “Anything goes wrong, and I’ll make sure you never find your jewel again.”

Seungho held his gaze, his dark eyes cold like nothing Hongbin had ever seen before. It made his gut churn.

“Nothing will go wrong.”

 

✶✶✶

 

Slipping out of Chansik’s home with the excuse to go look for Wonshik was a very easy affair - and not a complete lie, as he  _ did _ plan on going after Wonshik once he concluded his— ‘Meeting’. He had to give it to those cultists, they were certainly well organized, had agents in many places; it was with one of those agents he was on his way to meet, give them a status update so they could handle things on their end.

For all that it was supposed to be a secret meeting, the place they settled on was quite public - the main street just outside the market, packed with people coming and going. Hiding in plain sight.

He didn’t take long to spot the agent, waiting under the blue awning of a store, just as they had agreed on; it was a woman of average height, long wavy chestnut brown hair, large eyes, resting bitch face. Her clothes were very discrete, neutral greys and whites, nothing anyone would bother glancing at more than once. Hongbin confidently approached her and she smiled upon seeing him as if they were lifelong friends despite the fact they had never seen each other before in their lives.

“As the dragon flies,” Hongbin greeted the woman using the code they had settled on.

The woman ducked her head and responded with the same sentence, motioning for them to start walking up the street. Their steps were leisure, but not to the point they looked suspiciously slow; just a young couple taking a walk.

“What news?” she asked almost immediately.

“The mage is on his way to Perendale, alone,” Hongbin replied. “The rest of us will likely linger in Hunter Fell and the surrounding areas for a few days, as we have a few leads to check out.”

“Very well. I will let them know to make arrangements for the mage,” she said.

“I must warn you: he is traveling with a demon of Fear.”

“I see,” the woman nodded slowly as she processed this new information. “I’m certain we can plant clues and evidence that won’t seem too forced or obvious, even for a demon. They are— Tricky beings.”

“Indeed.”

“What of the prince?”

“He is still grieving the massacre at the ball,” Hongbin replied. “He is no threat as of now.”

“Good. What do they know of us?”

“They know the Templars are involved and that you are a tevinter cult, but not much else.”

“The truth of who we are will come out eventually,” she said, calm, and looked towards Hongbin. “I would be careful if I were you.”

Hongbin’s mouth curved upwards in a confident little smirk. “I always am.”

She chuckled, the sound airy, and said, “Very well. Here, this is yours,” she took something from the inner pocket of her cloak and handed it to Hongbin - a pouch full of coins. The first half of his money. “I am Sooyeon. We’ll be in touch.”

And with that, she turned around and disappeared into the crowd.

Hongbin didn’t watch her go. They simply parted ways, as naturally as they had met up, and Hongbin continued up along the cobbled streets towards the chantry where he knew Wonshik to be after pocketing his earnings. He was about halfway through a secluded little side street, a shortcut to his destination, when he felt watched.

He stopped, listening for any approaching footsteps. There were none.

He turned, and promptly found his pursuer. A chuckle escaped his lips.

“Deceit, I’m assuming. Fear would have no reason to follow me,” Hongbin said, walking towards the demon that was perched on a windowsill nearby, staring at him. “I’m also assuming you’re not here to rat me out to your caretaker, as that would take away your meal. Come here.”

Deceit stared at him for a moment longer before gliding down from its perch to land on Hongbin’s shoulder. Hongbin smiled, pleased.

“How about we make a deal?” Hongbin offered, turning to continue on his way to the chantry. “I can make sure you are well fed, and in exchange, you’ll help me do what must be done. Your Dalish friend is in no danger from me, of course, and I’m sure you can do a good enough job protecting him on your own. What do you say?” Hongbin looked the demon in the eyes. “Your help for an uninterrupted meal?”

Deceit cawed in response and flapped its wings, a clear sign of approval, and Hongbin smiled.

“You’re not so bad, birdie. We’ll be good friends, you and I.”

 

✶✶✶

 

The next time he met her, Sooyeon was wearing traveling leathers, comfortable and worn. It was strange seeing her dressed like that - she didn’t strike him as a woman who usually wore those types of clothes. No, she had an air of— Aristocracy about her. The way she carried herself spoke of nobility.

It appeared they were the same and yet complete opposites. Two very different people with very different backgrounds, that somehow found themselves walking the same path.

“Fancy meeting you here,” Hongbin greeted. Sooyeon rolled her eyes and sighed.

“Can we just cut to the chase? I’ve had quite enough of the wilderness.”

That only confirmed Hongbin’s earlier suspicions; he chuckled. “Very well, my lady. Any updates?”

“The Perendale Circle has received the news. Our agents there are preparing a fake letter that points to the Plains,” she diligently informed. “The Templars were told not to interfere with the mage.”

“If they do, I’m pretty sure Little Big Lizard prince would hunt them down,” Hongbin said with a scoff. “They can perhaps give him a little scare. Nothing much, just a little something that will make him think he was in real danger.”

“I will let them know,” Sooyeon agreed. “And on your end?”

“We spoke with a maleficar yesterday. He gave us some insight on the dragon you and yours worship, but little else.”

Sooyeon chuckled through her nose, derisive, “I don’t worship a dragon.”

Hongbin arched an eyebrow, “Oh? Are you not a part of the cult?”

“I am a hireling, much like you,” she responded, “and like you, I have much to lose.”

“I see. Forgive me for assuming,” Hongbin ducked his head respectfully; he thought it was best to keep in this woman’s good graces. “As I was saying, we are going to search for more clues regarding the location of this— Whatever you want to find in the Silent Plains in the area where Toth was slain.”

“Good luck with that,” she gave him a cheeky smile as she spoke. “We’ll meet again.”

And like she’d done in Hunter Fell, she simply turned around and left, disappearing through the trees, into the darkness of the forest. Hongbin waited a few seconds, just to make sure she was far away enough that he couldn’t hear the leaves rustling in her wake, and returned to the camp. Tricking Sanghyuk into going to bed instead of keeping watch was very easy - Hongbin almost felt lazy, the circumstances working in his favor in such a way that he barely had to make any effort.

Hongbin must have let his guard down as he contemplated how well things were progressing, too distracted by his own thoughts that a little squeak coming from the camp caused him to stumble back with fright and almost fall on his ass, one hand fluttering to his chest over his heart. He didn’t expect anyone to be awake, and yet there was Hakyeon, wide-eyed and flustered.

“What the— Maker’s balls, Hakyeonie, you almost gave me a coronary,” Hongbin said as he breathed deeply to recover. Had he heard anything? Had he noticed Sooyeon? 

Hakyeon answered after taking a deep breath, “ _ I _ almost gave you a coronary!? What are you doing sneaking around in the creepy dark woods at night by yourself?”

Hongbin huffed dismissively, shoulders lifting slightly in a nonchalant shrug, and used the best excuse there was,  “I had to piss. Why, would you rather I’d done it on that tree next to you? ‘Cause I can take it into consideration next time.”

“Ew, gross,” Hakyeon said with a grimace as he used his fingers to comb through his messy hair, his eyes scanning the camp slowly as he did so. Hongbin took the time Hakyeon wasn’t paying attention to him to also look around, make sure none of the others had woken up too. It didn’t look like they had, so Hongbin willed himself to relax.

He was fine. He hadn’t been caught.

Hakyeon was acting strange, though. The look on his face was— Odd. A mix of embarrassment and disappointment, a certain longing in his eyes when they fell on Taekwoon’s sleeping form.

“What’s the matter, Yeonie?” Hongbin asked as he moved around the camp towards where he’d been sitting earlier to continue his interrupted watch. “You look like someone just stole your favorite candy. Did I wake you in the middle of a wet dream with the Dalish Wonder or something?”

Hakyeon made an indignant squawking noise at Hongbin’s general direction and gave him the finger, immediately diving back into his bedroll to hide how flustered he’d become. Hongbin just laughed, trying not to be too loud to avoid waking the others.

As he slowly reeled his laughter back in, he made a mental note to be more careful from then on. He’d gotten lucky this time around - he might not be as lucky next time.

 

✶✶✶

 

Against all odds, Hongbin was— He was having  _ fun _ .

Walking around the market with Wonshik, talking, joking around,  _ not _ bickering… It felt nice. They were healing their battered and bruised friendship, trying to move on from all the hurt, all the mistakes, the miscommunication. Hongbin never trusted situations that seemed too good to be true - more often than not, they were only the calm before the storm, and the storm always brought with it strong winds to topple all of that happiness over.

Hongbin was watching as Wonshik tried to clean up all the sugar icing that got stuck around his mouth and on his fingers, smitten in the way only Wonshik could make him feel. Wonshik’s face got visibly pink once he noticed Hongbin staring. So cute.

“W-what?” 

Hongbin gave him a one-shouldered shrug and said, “Nothing. You’ve missed a spot.”

He couldn’t  _ not _ take that chance, cheesy and cliché as it was, and reached out a hand towards Wonshik’s face so he could wipe off some icing from the corner of his lips with his thumb. Wonshik’s eyes widened with the action, his cheeks becoming that much pinker, and Hongbin decided to go one step further and licked off the frosting from his finger. Wonshik just stared, slack-jawed.

Hongbin smiled innocently at him and asked, “Something wrong?”

Wonshik took a second to pull himself together, blinking and shaking his head before saying, “N-no, nothing, all is fine.”

“Just the sun, right?” Hongbin teased Wonshik using the excuse he’d given him earlier to explain his flushed cheeks.

“Yes. The sun.” 

Hongbin giggled at the awkward way the words came out of Wonshik’s mouth, until he saw a family figure in the crowd.

Sooyeon.

“Right,” Hongbin looked around for a moment, trying to think of a way to speak with her without Wonshik seeing. He had a bad excuse in mind, but the simplest option was often the best one. It would have to do. “Let’s do it like this then, since the sun is bugging you so much, why don’t you go ahead with this stuff we bought already while I finish up?”

Wonshik looked confused at the suggestion. “Are you sure? I can go if you want me to but—”

“It’s not that,” Hongbin sighed the words and rolled his eyes. The last thing he wanted was for Wonshik to leave, but he had to do what he had to do. “We’ve been out here for a while now, and I can see in your face that you have no idea how to act around me. I’m just trying to give you a break from my shining presence.”

To his surprise, Wonshik immediately said, “I don’t need a break from you, though.”

“You don’t?” he asked, feeling the strange need to confirm it. To validate the fact Wonshik actually enjoyed spending time with him.

“No, I don’t,” 

“Oh,” Hongbin exhaled, for the first time in a very long time genuinely taken aback. Touched, even. “I— Thank you,” Hongbin cleared his throat, trying to recover at least a little bit of his cool. He had things to do. “Still, you should go back first. We’re almost done anyway, and I still have to run around searching for the ingredients for Hakyeon’s magic sauce.”

“You don’t want help with that?”

“No, it’s alright. I plan on taking my time so I have more reason to complain to Hakyeon later. Go rest. I’ll be fine.”

Hongbin almost tossed it all to the air over the hurt look that flashed through Wonshik’s expression. “If you insist, I— I’ll go, then. Here, I’ll take these,” Wonshik took the basket with their supplies from his hand, Hongbin easily surrendering it to him. “I know I don’t have to tell you that, but be careful.”

“I always am,” Hongbin said with a smile and asked, “Is there anything you’d like me to get for you? More cake?”

Wonshik laughed through his nose and replied, “No, I’m good. See you later, I guess.”

“Be careful on your way back to Chansik’s,” Hongbin warned as Wonshik began to walk away, a feeling of loss settling in the back of his mind. He waved one last time when Wonshik looked back at him and smiled, receiving only a little nod in response before Wonshik disappeared on a side street.

Hongbin immediately deflated and moved to a stand that sold spices, idling around it as he leisurely picked a few things. A couple minutes later, he felt someone stop next to him. He didn’t need to look over to confirm who it was.

“I’m sorry to ruin your little date.”

“You are so  _ not _ sorry,” Hongbin replied with a chuckle. “You better have something important to say.”

“I do,” Sooyeon replied. “First, I’ve received word from Perendale. The mage took the fake letter as planned.”

“Was he harmed?”

“No. The Templars that were in on the plan had to steer clear from him, though,” she informed, an amused smile on her lips. “Apparently, he was using a terrible Orlesian accent and it was hard for them not to laugh.”

Hongbin snorted. Of course Jaehwan had to go for the least subtle approach.

“What else do you have?”

“There’ll be an attack,” she said, and her expression immediately fell, from easy-going to drop dead serious. Hongbin frowned, uneasy.

“An attack?”

“Yes. They say it is to keep up appearances.”

“An attack on us?”

“Yes. I believe the mage will also be attacked, but I am unsure of when that will be.”

Hongbin nodded slowly as he processed the information. “I see.”

“They say it’s—  _ Important _ this attack is successful,” Sooyeon added, voice tone stiff.

“Why?”

“I don’t know.”

Hongbin couldn’t really question her lack of insight - she was, as she said, just a hireling. The cultists wouldn’t give her every single detail, they would give her orders and she had to follow them, much like Hongbin was doing.

“Very well. I’ll make sure this attack happens.”

Hongbin was about to walk away to search for the ingredients of Hakyeon’s tomato sauce, when he felt Sooyeon’s hand on his arm - her long nails dug into the leather of his clothes.

“Don’t do it.”

Hongbin frowned and looked back at her. “What?”

“Don’t let the attack happen,” her voice dipped so low Hongbin could barely hear her. “Whatever deal you struck with them, they won’t honor it.”

Hongbin was feeling more and more concerned. “How do you know that?”

“Trust me. I know,” she whispered and looked around her, eyes searching. She looked— Hunted. “I have to go. Don’t let the attack happen.”

“Sooyeon—”

And just like that, she hurried away and was gone, leaving Hongbin behind with a lot of questions and very few answers.

 

✶✶✶

 

Hongbin was already expecting to have to leave on short notice, so when Taekwoon woke them all up only a couple hours after they went to bed, Hongbin didn’t feel particularly annoyed. Overall, Hongbin just felt— Sleepy. He was looking forward to the nap he’d take later already.

They said their goodbyes to Sunwoo, and Hongbin watched as his companions said farewell to Chansik at the door, one by one. He was glad that all of them seemed to get along well, that their stay at his friends’ house had been peaceful and free of any troubles. Hongbin hung back, letting the others leave first, so he could take his time giving Chansik a hug.

Chansik hugged him very tight, tighter than he usually would, and after a few seconds of just squeezing him, Chansik turned his face slightly to whisper in his ear.

“I know what you’re doing. Please be careful.”

Hongbin frowned and pulled away so he could look at Chansik, finding a concerned expression on his friend’s face. Hongbin could only smile - of course Chansik had figured out Hongbin’s involvement with the cultists. He was the best at discovering things that were meant to be a secret.

That he kept it as a secret was the reason why Chansik was so good at what he did. He knew when to share and when to withhold information.

Hongbin simply nodded, a silent way of saying ‘yes, mom, I’ll be careful’, and gave him a gentle pat on the arm before moving to join the others.

 

✶✶✶

 

Hongbin continued to stroke Wonshik’s hair until he was sure he’d fallen asleep - not hard to know when that happened, considering Wonshik snored much like an angry, hungry bear growled. Hongbin smiled to himself, tracing the bridge on Wonshik’s nose with his fingertip affectionately before looking around the dark woods. He had no idea where they were, but— 

_ It’s important that the attack happens _ .

_ Don’t do it _ .

He had to make a decision. He didn’t know the cultists or Sooyeon well enough to trust either of them. Sooyeon could be setting her own trap, and the cultists could be setting theirs. Sooyeon could be trying to get back at the cultists for something by sabotaging them, too. Was she genuinely trying to help? Hongbin didn’t - couldn’t - know.

People like them— They weren’t known for being so helpful and selfless.

But then again, neither were cultists.

Hongbin sighed, his elven eyes seeing much more of the dark forest around them than Wonshik and his human eyes ever could. They would never find them there, in the middle of nowhere. Not without help.

No matter which decision he made, there would be consequences. If he went along with the cultists, let the attack happen, there was the possibility of someone getting hurt; if he went against them and didn’t let the attack happen, then they would likely get angry and want to retaliate. Going with that way of thinking, happy cultists that have their plans go smoothly are more amenable than angry cultists that have their plans foiled.

Hongbin took a deep breath. There was only one answer to that problem then.

He carefully got up, trying not to jostle Wonshik and risk waking him, and took a few steps forward, away enough that the others wouldn’t wake up, but close enough that it would be easy to spot them once they found their location. Hongbin took the small bundle of herbs from his pocket - they produced a thick white smoke when burned. The cultists would be able to see the smoke from afar. They could find them with that.

Hongbin hoped he wouldn’t regret it.

 

✶✶✶

 

Hongbin definitely regretted it.

The first few days, when Hakyeon was unconscious and walking the tightrope of life and death, Hongbin could barely think over how scared he was, how worried, how  _ sorry _ . But Hakyeon was alive, recovering well, and back to his usual stubborn self, so Hongbin was not scared anymore; no, the fear gave way to  _ anger. _

Sooyeon had been right. She was right and he didn’t listen.

They wouldn’t honor their agreement. The reason why the attack had been so ‘important’ to the cultists was clear now: they meant to pick them out one by one until there was none left to oppose them. They didn’t care who they killed this time, wouldn’t care who they killed next time - because there would be a next time. They would keep coming, they would keep trying. Hakyeon and Wonshik were still in danger, no matter how he’d struck the deal with the single purpose of keeping them out of the line of the fire.

And it was all Hongbin’s fault.

Maybe he should have been honest from the beginning, at least with Hakyeon. Too late for that now. He couldn’t— 

Something shiny caught his attention, a flickering little thing, just on the corner of his eye. Wonshik and Sanghyuk had taken off after Fear about an hour earlier and Hongbin had given Hakyeon some of the tea to help him sleep for a while - a necessity, considering how Hakyeon refused to leave Taekwoon’s bedside.

Hongbin was, essentially, alone.

After checking to make sure Hakyeon was truly sleeping, Hongbin made his way through the woods towards where he’d seen the flickering, one hand on the hilt of his dagger, footsteps silent as those of a cat. He was expecting to find Sooyeon waiting for him, but he was met with a different character.

Thin Man was standing with his back very straight, arrogant, hands crossed in front of his body. Hongbin fought back the urge to start throwing punches.

“Hongbin. I trust all is well,” Thin Man said in a manner of greeting. Hongbin simply arched an eyebrow at him.

“Well as far as you not holding your end of the bargain can go.”

“Oh, yes. That is part of the reason why am I here. No hard feelings, I’m sure?” Thin Man grinned as he spoke, his beady eyes glimmering. “It was an accident. A poor choice of mercenaries, if you will.”

“As  _ I’m sure _ you remember, I still have the jewel. You should be more careful from now on,” Hongbin warned, smiling mildly at Thin Man. Two could play that game. “I could  _ accidentally _ lose it somewhere. There would be no hard feelings for that too, would there?”

Thin Man scoffed, “I get it. You are upset.”

“Upset? Oh no. I am feeling rather murderous,” Hongbin said as his smile widened. “Now where is Sooyeon? I find her company much more amenable than yours and she’s also that much more pretty to look at. No offense.”

“None taken,” Thin Man sounded almost amused. “And I’m afraid you won’t be seeing her around anymore. She has been… Terminated.”

Hongbin wasn’t sure if by ‘terminated’ he meant her contract or her life. He thought better not to ask for a clarification, instead settling for a simple, “Oh, has she? Unfortunate.”

“Her mouth was a little bigger than we thought it to be. A shame, really,” Thin Man said with a derisive sniff. “You haven’t updated your status in a few days.”

Ah. So that’s what that visit was all about.

“It’s a little hard to give status updates when you’re trying to do damage control,” Hongbin replied with a sigh. “Maybe if your people had kept to their word I would be more consistent with my reports.”

“Yes, yes,” Thin Man made a gesture with his hand, dismissive, as he spoke. “Now what news have you?”

“We are on our way to Caimen Brea. Other than that, I have nothing new to say.”

“Thank you, Hongbin,” Thin Man said with that infuriating smile. “Here, for your troubles.”

Thin Man took a pouch from inside his sleeve and tossed it at Hongbin’s feet. Gold.

“I shall wait for you in Caimen Brea.”

Hongbin watched, impassive, as the Thin Man walked away and disappeared amongst the trees before collecting the sack of coins from the ground. It was heavy. Another small fortune.

He turned and walked slowly back to their camp, the weight of the pouch a sour reminder of the cost of selling your loyalty.

Once Hongbin returned to camp and sat down in front of the fire, he didn’t have the strength to do anything else but cry.

 

✶✶✶

 

All of his companions had noticed Hongbin was upset, and he thought he’d given good enough excuses for that, but they couldn’t possibly understand the extent of his guilt. His concern. He couldn’t tell them the real reason behind it all, he simply couldn’t; they would never trust him again, and their trust had become— Important. It felt good having people who cared about him around, who genuinely enjoyed his company, who trusted him.

Hongbin was caught between a rock and a hard place. After the attack, it was clear to him that agreeing to work with the cultists had been a monumental mistake, one he would likely pay for sooner rather than later. The next time they attacked, they could succeed in killing one of them. It could be Wonshik the next time.

Hongbin couldn’t bear to think of it.

He’d left the others at the inn as soon as they arrived in Caimen Brea, went out to brave the streets, both to be with his own thoughts and to meet with the Thin Man. He wanted to get it over with. Hear what he had to say, be in his presence for as little as he possibly could.

He considered giving up. Saying he wasn’t interested in the deal anymore, that he was done working for them, but Hongbin knew that the moment he did, any leverage he disposed of would be gone. Giving up now meant putting all of them in even more danger than they were already in, and Hongbin— He couldn’t do it. It made him sick just to imagine it.

Whatever had happened to Sooyeon would certainly happen to them if Hongbin called it quits.

The Thin Man was waiting for him in a secluded dark alley. Hongbin didn’t have it in him to do more than just listen and reply this time around - petty sarcasm be damned.

“What news?” Thin Man asked the moment Hongbin was close enough.

“We leave for the Silent Plains tomorrow,” Hongbin replied, keeping his head high and his face as expressionless as he possibly could.

“Excellent! I trust you have found the location we seek?”

“We have our ways to track it down.”

“Vague, but I suppose it is better than nothing,” Thin Man said with an arrogant sigh. “We probably will have no way to communicate while you are in the Silent Plains, but we expect an update as soon as possible.”

“Yes.”

“And for your own sake as well as your friends’,” Thin Man said with a smirk as he turned around to leave, “you better not try anything foolish.”

Hongbin only glared at the back of Thin Man’s head, for once wishing he was a mage, a blood mage like Jaehwan, and had the ability to make him explode like a flesh balloon. Once he was gone from his view, Hongbin had to lean on the wall for balance. He felt dizzy, sick, bile rising up his throat.

He was so angry, so incredibly enraged, but the fear, the  _ guilt _ — Those overpowered it all.

Hongbin hadn’t felt that powerless in a long, long time. His hands were shaking, his legs were wobbling, he was overcome with cold chills and the world seemed to be spinning. The panic was taking over, the panic over the very real possibility that his—  _ Friends  _ could be killed over his mistakes, his choices. It hurt. It hurt so bad and he wasn’t sure if he was strong enough to survive it.

Hakyeon had almost died. He’d almost lost his best friend because of his own stupidity. If that happened again— Would they be able to save him a second time? He’d only survived because Taekwoon had performed a miracle, and Taekwoon had only survived because Hongbin felt too bad to just let him bleed out. He’d saved Hakyeon’s life, after all - he deserved the same courtesy.

And Hakyeon was in love with Taekwoon. They deserved— They deserved a chance, didn’t they? To be happy. Jaehwan did too - he wasn’t a bad person. His heart was in the right place, as was Sanghyuk’s. Sanghyuk could be a very good king if given the chance.

The cultists would not give him that chance.

And Wonshik—

Hongbin felt the dizziness get stronger and lowered himself to the ground, eyes closed, and tried to breathe. Losing Wonshik would be— No. No, it just couldn’t be. Wonshik losing his life because of him was the worst punishment and Hongbin couldn’t let it happen. Wonshik deserved so much better than this.

And yet he couldn’t turn back. He couldn’t undo what he started. All he could do was see it through and try his best to keep Wonshik and Hakyeon safe. They were his priority, always, but— He wanted to keep the others safe too. He… cared now. He cared about all of them.

His tears felt hot against his cold skin, his heart beating so fast Hongbin believed for a second he was about to die. Maybe it would be better if he did. Maybe it was better to die.

But no, he couldn’t die, not yet. He had to see it through. He had to carry on in order to keep the others safe, make sure the cultists wouldn’t try anything. Once it was done then— Then he would figure out what to do next. Where to go next. Go as far from them as possible, keep them from that curse he carried around that made him hurt everyone he cared about.

Hongbin tried to focus on his breathing, inhale long and deep and exhale in the same way, hoping it would somehow work to calm him down. He couldn’t let himself break down this far into the game, and not so soon. There would be time for him to have as many meltdowns as he wished to have, but that was not the place nor the time. He had to keep his head level, the fear at bay, and focus on the problem at hand - survival.

The panic dulled, bit by bit, but he continued to cry for a while. His grief and guilt for what had happened to Hakyeon was still too fresh, the wound still too raw. Keeping that guilt hidden was taking a toll on him, and not only the guilt, but everything else; the anger, the fear, the pain. He was overflowing with it, drowning in the consequences of his own mistake, and he was alone. He wished he had a shoulder to cry on, someone to help him stand up when all he wanted to was stay down. He wished he could tell the truth and not be despised for who he was, his choices, his lack of morals. It was all catching up to him and he was alone.

He was alone.

Maybe that was the worst of it all.

Hongbin slowly found it within himself to stand, leaning against the wall and rubbing his sleeves on his face to clear away the evidence of tears once he managed to get a grip on his emotions. He didn’t know how long it had been, ten minutes, one hour, but he figured he should make his way back before the others decided to come looking for him.

He pulled his hood up and kept his head down as he walked, to hide the probable redness of his eyes and puffiness of his face after his ridiculous tear festival. The cold wind would certainly work to make him look presentable enough by the time he reached the inn. He didn’t need the others asking questions.

He was feeling closer to his normal self, walking down the market square towards the inn, when something red and shiny caught his eye. Turning to look, Hongbin immediately spotted a group of three Templars, one of them carrying a phylactery.

Hongbin stopped and took a deep breath, muttering to himself, “For fuck’s sake, now this.”

It was very clear who those Templars were after.

At least it would keep Hongbin distracted from his guilt for a couple hours.

 

✶✶✶

 

Almost dying put things into perspective.

Or, well, into a  _ clearer _ perspective.

Maybe kissing Wonshik had been a bit too much, in hindsight, but Hongbin didn’t regret it. He regretted a lot of things, but kissing Wonshik wasn’t one of them - accepting that job for the cultists, now  _ that _ was his biggest regret.

He’d been regretting it ever since Hakyeon - and Taekwoon - had almost died by their hand. The lack of concern to the deal they’d struck was still fresh in his mind, the way they simply dismissed the fact that one of the people they were supposed to keep out of that mess had almost lost his life. Hongbin felt like he’d done a good enough job hiding how upset he’d truly had been about it. And then there was Sooyeon, too. She disappeared, she was gone, and all because she’d tried to warn him. She’d tried to tell him that he shouldn’t trust the cultists. He should have listened to her.

He knew better, now.

Hongbin looked behind him from where he was sitting on the edge of the water, eyes lingering for a few seconds on each of his sleeping companions and stopping for a bit longer on Wonshik. They were all going to be killed at the end of that road. Hongbin could feel it. He could feel it deep in his bones, and he would not allow it to happen.

He turned back around to continue washing the dishes they had used earlier - his brain always worked best when he was multitasking. Faking their deaths wouldn’t work - the others would never go for it, which was why trying to convince them to just drop everything and run away would also not work. They were too—  _ Heroic _ . They would want to keep going and save the world or whatever it was they wanted to do. Stubborn as they were, they would find a way to see their mission through to the end. No, Hongbin would have to do it on his own.

Should he— No, he couldn’t tell them the truth. They would never forgive him, and with good reason. He also couldn’t let this entire mess run its course, because the truth would come out and they would never forgive him. And they would likely be dead.

He was truly on his own.

His only option was to gamble it all. He would put everything on the line for the slim chance that the others survived. It was only fair that Hongbin dealt with the consequences alone - it was all his fault anyway for dragging everyone into this. If it were not for him taking the job out of his selfish desire of seeing Wonshik again, none of them would be in that mess. Wonshik would be safe in his job as a guard, Sanghyuk and Jaehwan would have died at the massacre, Hakyeon would be dancing away somewhere fancy, and Taekwoon would be wandering the wilderness with his pet demons. Hongbin would be alone and not being a hazard to anyone’s safety.

But then Hakyeon would never have met Taekwoon. Sanghyuk wouldn’t have the chance to be the great king he had the potential to become. Jaehwan would never have experienced true freedom. Wonshik— Wonshik would still be miserable, stuck in a job that made him so incredibly unhappy. But Wonshik would— He would have, perhaps, married that girl, the one who died. Maybe he would have had a chance of having a real family. Maybe he would have had a chance to find some happiness in his life.

Hongbin would never be able to make him happy.

And happiness was the problem, wasn’t it? He was— Happy. He was happy because he was with Wonshik, something he’d dreamed of since he was a child, and Wonshik… He was happy to be with Hongbin too. Hongbin was not meant for happiness. Happiness was for good people, and Hongbin wasn’t good. Wonshik was good. Wonshik deserved to be happy.

He would have to find a way out. Maybe not for himself but for his— Friends. They all deserved to be happy. They were good.

A gamble it would have to be.

He heard rustling and shuffling behind him, coming from the direction where Wonshik was - he’d probably noticed his absence. Only after a few seconds, Hongbin felt Wonshik’s hand on the back of his neck, the touch soothing as few things could be.

“Hey,” Wonshik whispered, “how long have you been up?”

“A while,” Hongbin replied, also whispering, “couldn’t sleep for some reason.”

“Is something upsetting you?”

“On the contrary,” Hongbin said and looked up at Wonshik, “I’m happy.”

Wonshik immediately broke into a silly grin. “Yeah?”

“Yeah,” Hongbin said, nodding to confirm before frowning. “It makes me nervous.”

Not a lie. He was happy. He didn’t deserve that happiness. Something would go wrong.

“Nervous? Why?”

Hongbin gave Wonshik a brief shrug in response, his attention turning back to the pot he’d been washing. He couldn’t say. Didn’t want to say it out loud. He settled then for a simple, “I don’t know.”

Wonshik was quiet then as Hongbin finished washing the pot and grabbed a smaller bowl, sinking it into the water so he could start scrubbing it. After a few seconds, Wonshik spoke again.

“Let’s go back to bed.”

“Mhm, go ahead and I’ll be there in a moment. I have just a couple more bowls to wash.”

“Do it in the morning, Bean.”

“Bean?” Hongbin echoed and chuckled. The sound of the old nickname made warmth pool in his chest. “You haven’t called me that since we were ten.”

“I know,” Wonshik replied and pressed a kiss to the top of his head. “You don’t like it?”

“I do. I really do.” Hongbin smiled down at his hands as he answered. He was so happy. Wonshik made him so happy. It wasn’t going to last. “Go back to bed, I’ll be right there.”

“Don’t take too long, it’s cold,” Wonshik said, clearly giving up on trying to convince him, and moved back towards the bedroll.

Hongbin felt like crying. He was so happy. So happy.

He was already in mourning.

 

✶✶✶

 

The moment Hongbin settled on a course of action, Deceit came over and perched on his shoulder to listen in on his every thought. 

A gamble. A few possible outcomes.

He couldn’t tell the others the truth, couldn’t let them in on the plan; the less they knew, the safer they would be. It was better to let them hate him. If that kept them safe, if that kept them  _ alive _ , Hongbin could live with that.

He would give the cultists the jewel. He would give them the map to its final destination. If anything could appease them, shift their focus, it would be that. He would convince them the others were not a threat. He didn’t believe that would work, but he had to try - if anything, he hoped they would at least focus on the jewel first, which would give the others time. If that, by some miracle, worked, then Hongbin would find a way to let them in on the plan, send them a message and tell them to hide. 

If that didn’t work and their focus remained on his friends, then Hongbin would have to go for Plan B: cut off the head of the snake. Kill the leaders. More specifically, The Harbinger.

A long shot. Seungho was a wily man.

And if that also didn’t work— Then he would have to improvise. He wasn’t sure he’d be alive, so coming up with a Plan C seemed like a stretch. If his attempt at assassinating Seungho failed, he would have to roll with the punches and try to keep himself alive. Get the jewel back, somehow, and keep it away from them.

But first thing’s first.

_ It’s time for you to lend me a helping wing, buddy _ , Hongbin thought towards Deceit and the demon snuggled against his neck. He would have to trick those he loved. He couldn’t do that without Deceit - he wasn’t  _ that _ good of an actor.

 

✶✶✶

 

“I’m really sorry, bunny,” Hongbin said and watched as Wonshik’s eyelids closed, as the powder dragged him deep into slumber.

The moment it happened, Hongbin crumbled.

He fell forward, forehead on Wonshik’s chest, and cried. Sobbed, wailed, whimpered like the pathetic heap of garbage he was. He’d done it. He’d done it and he hated himself, hated his life. He clutched the shirt Wonshik was wearing until his knuckles turned white, buried his face on his neck and mumbled a litany of ‘I’m sorrys’ against his skin, like that would make anything better. He was the worse, he was the absolute worse and he didn’t deserve Wonshik. This was better. It was better for Wonshik to hate him, better for Wonshik not to have him in his life.

“I love you, I love you, I really do and I’m so sorry,” Hongbin said into Wonshik’s neck, wishing it would somehow get through to him, that he would know Hongbin’s feelings for him were never a lie, but he knew that couldn’t be. So he pushed himself away from Wonshik, away from everything he ever dreamed of, everything he ever wanted, everything he never deserved.

He tried to tell himself, over and over again, that this was for the best. That this would be best for all of them - it would keep them safe, Hongbin’s friends, his— His  _ family _ . They would be safe, away from danger, and Hongbin would try to take care of them from afar. If anyone should handle the consequences, it was him. If someone should die, it was him. Not them. Never them, they deserve only the best, they deserved only happiness, because they were  _ good _ , they were good and they had a chance to be happy, unlike Hongbin. He was rotten and doomed, cursed to be alone, cursed to push everyone he loved away, cursed to ruin every good thing that was ever stupid enough to come his way.

He screamed, screamed until his throat was raw, screamed into the night sky, screamed away all his frustrations. He wasn’t worried about catching anyone’s attention, about waking any of his— His—  _ Family _ . They were family. They were family and they would only wake up late into the morning, many hours away. He could scream.

Scream he did.

He screamed long and loud, wails from the depths of his soul, the sounds nothing like he’d ever heard before. Once he felt like he couldn’t scream anymore he dragged himself to the water, hands and knees, and was taken aback by his reflection - he looked just as broken as he felt. He scooped some on his hands and threw it on his face, washing away the tears. Useless. He would cry more before the night was through.

Hongbin shakily got to his feet, unsure how he even found the strength to stand within himself, and got dressed. His breathing was heavy, his eyes still blurry, wet, more tears trying to push their way out. He couldn’t. He had much to do, and that was more important than his emotions.

He tried not to look towards Wonshik. Not until he was done. If he did— He wouldn’t be strong enough to go through with it.

The scratches on his back stung.

He finished getting dressed and hurried inside the cave, not looking at Wonshik’s sleeping form as he moved. For some reason, going inside only made it all that much more difficult. A hiccup escaped his lips, new tears fell from his eyes.

He tried not to look at them. Tried not to look at Sanghyuk, hugging his pillow like a child, or Jaehwan all sprawled on his bedroll. Didn’t look at Taekwoon, his long arms wrapped around Hakyeon. Hakyeon—

Hongbin never hated himself as much as he hated himself at that moment.

His hands were shaking as he went through Jaehwan’s belongings, fishing out all he could find on Old Gods. There wasn’t much; a book, a couple scrolls. He took those with him and moved towards where Hakyeon was sleeping, kneeling next to him as he watched his face. He looked peaceful. Happy. Taekwoon made him happy. Hongbin hoped Taekwoon could make Hakyeon happy enough that he would forget all about him.

“Yeonie… I’m so sorry,” Hongbin murmured, sliding the compass Hakyeon was wearing around his neck out of his shirt. “This was not supposed to happen like this. Everything turned out so wrong, and I— I’m trying to fix it. I’m going to fix it.”

He knew Hakyeon couldn’t hear him, but he had to say it. He just had to.

“Of all people, I know you’ll be the one who will forgive me for this. You’re way too good to be friends with the likes of me,” Hongbin had to pause once his voice began to waver. “It’s for the best. It’s all for the best.”

Hongbin was about to snap the string that was holding the compass, the jewel, but stopped at the last minute. What was he doing? He already had the map that led to the general destination the jewel was pointing to, why would he make it any easier for those zealots? No, he would not give them the compass. They didn’t know about the compass, and they would continue to not know about the compass if it was up to Hongbin - and it was.

So he just plucked the jewel out of the stone compass with his fingernails, placing it back inside Hakyeon’s shirt carefully. He looked at his best friend’s sleeping face one more time and, after leaning forward to press a kiss to his forehead, got up and went to retrieve his own belongings.

That was a fairly fast affair - he was already prepared to leave. He’d packed everything earlier already, something none of his companions noticed since Hongbin always made a point to be ready to go no matter the situation. He was ready. Everything he needed was packed already, so all that was left to do was to shove the books and scrolls inside his bag and find a pouch for the jewel; and he was ready to go.

Everything had gone as he’d planned. Deceit had done its part, the tea had served its purpose, Wonshik— He’d said goodbye to Wonshik, even if that wasn’t part of the plans. He shouldn’t have slept with him. He shouldn’t, but the need was stronger, and it might have been his last chance. Selfish. He was selfish and Wonshik deserved so much better than him. He hoped he would find it. Happiness.

There was nothing left to do.

He looked behind one last time before leaving the cave, took in the faces of his— His family. If he did everything right, he would never see them again. He wanted to remember.

“Goodbye… And I’m sorry,” Hongbin whispered at them, knowing they wouldn’t hear him even if he’d shouted, and after one more second he finally left, making his way back to where Wonshik was still sleeping. His satchel was still there. With the sleeping herbs he’d snuck into his friends’ tea, the powder he blew into Wonshik’s face. He couldn’t leave that behind, it was— It was too important. Those were items he would need, otherwise he would have left it all behind.

Wonshik was still sleeping in the same position he’d been before Hongbin went to the cave, lips still red, bruised from all the kisses they’d shared that night. Hongbin’s heart lurched, his gut churned. He hated himself, hated himself so  _ much _ .

He was shaking like a leaf from head to toes as he retrieved his satchel, all the items he’d taken from it - his water cantil, the container with the power, the vial of rose oil. He would throw the latter away - the smell of roses was now forever tainted for him, forever linked to the night he had it all and ruined it. Forever linked to Wonshik, to broken trust, to promises of love that were so ironically real.

He hoped the scratches on his back would leave scars.

Once he gathered everything, he carefully approached Wonshik again, kneeling on the ground next to him. He brushed his fingers through his hair, traced the line of his lips, the shape of his nose. He would never see him again, if everything went well. He would never speak to him, never touch him, never kiss him again. If it kept Wonshik alive, he would do it. He would do anything to keep him safe. Keep  _ them _ safe. He would miss them forever, he would hurt forever, but he would do it. He would keep them safe. He would fix it.

“I know it won’t feel like it when you wake up,” Hongbin whispered, forehead pressed against Wonshik’s, “but this is the best thing I could do for you right now. I dragged you all into this mess, and I’m going to make sure you survive it. Even if I don’t. Even if you hate me.” Hongbin paused to breathe, eyes filling up with tears again, “I love you, guardsman Kim. I loved you from the moment I saw you, I loved you through all the years we spent apart, I love you now, and I’ll love you forever.”

Hongbin felt the first tear run down from his eye, the corner of his nose, and saw it drop on Wonshik’s cheek. He brought up his sleeve to wipe it clean. Didn’t want to stain Wonshik with himself any more than he already had.

He pressed a chaste, soft kiss on his lips and whispered, “Goodbye, bunny.”

Hongbin gently covered Wonshik with the blanket, just to make sure he wouldn’t get sick out there in the cold, and got up. He looked down at Wonshik for a few seconds longer, trying to commit every single one of his features to memory, before he finally turned around to leave.

He didn’t look back.

 

✶✶✶

 

“You can do it, then? Kill those you have spent months working and living with?” Seungho asked and Hongbin raised his eyes to meet his.

With a smug smirk, he replied, “It won’t be the first time I murder an associate.”

He finished tying up his pouch of money to his belt and, still holding Seungho’s gaze, smiled wider and said. “Allow me to demonstrate.”

By the time realization flashed through Seungho’s eyes, Hongbin had already made his move; his proximity to the Knight-Commander made it all easier. One quick motion of his hands, a loud  _ crack _ that resonated through the room, and the Knight-Commander slumped over from his chair to the ground, lifeless, neck snapped in a blink.

Hongbin did warn those two guys out front that he didn’t need any weapons.

Seungho, of course, began barking orders to stop Hongbin, but Hongbin was already moving before they could fully process what was happening - the element of surprise was truly the best in his arsenal of tricks. He slid the sword from the sheath hanging on the waist of the late Knight-Commander and hopped on the table, slashing the hand of one of the men who tried to reach out to grab him; he didn’t stop to see if he’d cut it clean off, but he didn’t care. He was more concerned about the time.

He sprinted across the table towards Seungho, getting the speed necessary to jump at him, feet first, hitting him in the middle of the chest and causing him to topple over. Seungho fell with a yelp, the jewel flying away from his hand. Hongbin rolled away from the Harbinger, following the jewel with his eyes the whole time and making a dive for it before it hit the ground.

He grabbed it, but didn’t have time to celebrate - the moment his hand closed around the jewel, he had to get up and keep moving, otherwise he would be swarmed by cultists. 

His plan had certainly gone wrong; he was hoping the jewel would appease them, that having the jewel would at least distract the cultists for long enough that the others would be able to escape. Of course it had gone wrong. Of course the cultists would want them dead, no matter if they had the jewel or not. It had been naive of him to think any different, he knew, but he had to try. They were his family, his family deserved better, his family deserved to  _ live _ .

The cultists, on the other hand—

Hongbin spun the sword around, slashing two of the cultists in one single motion, and before they were even on the ground he was rushing to Seungho again. He had begun getting up, using one hand to steady himself on the tabletop while the other was cradling his chest where Hongbin had kicked him, and he took the chance to aim right at his stomach when he thrust the sword forward.

It pierced him right through.

“This one for Sooyeon and whatever you did to her,” Hongbin hissed at Seungho before using his foot to push him off the blade.

Seungho gurgled, blood spluttering from his mouth, and that only made what came next that much creepier: he smiled.

Hongbin immediately recognized it, the expression, the magic in the air, the  _ blood _ — He’d seen it all, many times. He’d seen it in Jaehwan.

Blood magic.

_ Shit _ , his brain helpfully supplied as Seungho’s eyes began glowing crimson and he wobbled to his feet. Hongbin did the only thing he could think of doing at that moment. He turned and ran to the only window in the room, getting on the windowsill and looking down.

His stomach dropped, at the height, at the Minanter River at the very bottom; he could die from a fall like that, he could break several bones if he missed the river and he could drown if he fell into it. He’d only had a couple swim lessons with Wonshik, and that was likely not enough to give him a fighting chance against the current of the Minanter, usually very strong in that area and likely stronger that day, with the rain and wind to add to its strength.

But he was doing it for Wonshik. For Wonshik, and for Hakyeon. And for Sanghyuk, Jaehwan and Taekwoon. His family. The only family he’d ever known.

He felt the surge of power behind him. This was it. He would get that jewel away from the cultists, he would keep his family safe, or he would die trying. That was his true test of loyalty, one he’d always failed. It was time to get it right. Make it right.

For them.

_ Loyalty. _

Hongbin took a deep breath to gather his nerve, and jumped.

 

✶


	26. Catharsis

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> remember not to post spoilers, kids!! 
> 
> enjoy 💕

✶

 

If Sanghyuk said that the talk he’d had with Wonshik didn’t resonate within him, he would be lying. Ever since that night, it was all he could think about. It was like his mind was stuck between ‘ _ talk to him _ ’ and ‘ _ tell him how you feel’ _ .

_ Talk to him. Tell him how you feel. _

_ Tell him how you feel. Talk to him. _

And he was planning to. He wanted to, felt like he was about to burst with it, but at the same time he was— Scared. Of course he was scared. That confession could - would - change everything. Jaehwan’s perception of him would be completely changed once he knew, and there would be no way to turn back, undo it. The truth would be out of hiding, exposed, and there would be no covering it back up again.

The one thing that pushed Sanghyuk forward was knowing that he was about to lose Jaehwan anyway. If he was going to lose him one way or the other, he would rather it be with all the cards on the table, face up, no more secrets, no more tricks. If there was a chance, even a slim one, that Jaehwan would change his mind, Sanghyuk was willing to do anything. As Wonshik had said, he would live and die for Jaehwan. He would. He would, without a second’s hesitation.

If he had to get on his knees and beg, he would. If he had to crawl on the ground, he would.

If he had to bare his heart to Jaehwan, he would.

Whatever he had to do to get him to stay, he would do.

He was just having some trouble figuring out the timing - they had no privacy, for starters, and they had been traveling fast to make up for lost time. He couldn’t simply ask everyone to stop because he had to confess his undying love for Jaehwan and needed some privacy to do so. Once they stopped to rest, if Sanghyuk tried to approach Jaehwan, Jaehwan would babble some excuse and scurry away, which was both slightly hurtful and infuriatingly frustrating.

Jaehwan didn’t want to listen.

Sanghyuk knew how to make him listen.

It was a dirty trick, he knew, but he was desperate; he needed Jaehwan to stop for a moment and listen to him, he needed Jaehwan to— To  _ know _ .

It had been close to two full days since they left the village where the—  _ Incident _ happened. They hadn’t stayed in another village, the path clear of any settlements, until they finally reached one. This village was slightly larger than the previous one, likely for how close it was to Cumberland - only about a day away - and the heavy traffic from merchants and travelers coming or going from there.

That came with the added bonus that there were some good, cheap inns for them to spend the night in. Cheap enough that they could rent two rooms for the night, a plan Sanghyuk had concocted with the help of Wonshik that was basically using the excuse of Hakyeon and Taekwoon deserving some ‘couple time’ for themselves to be as gross as they wanted to be. They seemed to like that part, at least. 

From there, it was a matter of acting according to Jaehwan’s habits: Jaehwan was very cordial in the way he would always allow others to go first. The first plate of food, the first sip of water, the first to step out of a door, Jaehwan would always politely duck his head and say ‘you go first’. Bathing was no different.

Jaehwan easily let Sanghyuk and Wonshik bathe first, both for being polite and for his tendency of taking longer baths than all of them combined, and that gave Sanghyuk some time to prepare himself mentally. He could feel Wonshik staring at him as he got dressed; he made a point not to look at him.

“It’ll be fine. Jaehwan is kind, even if he rejects you he won’t be an ass about it,” Wonshik said, and that, somehow, only made Sanghyuk feel more nervous.

“I don’t even know if I care if he rejects me or not at this point,” Sanghyuk said, running his hand through his damp hair. “I just want him to stay.”

“It’ll be fine,” Wonshik said, giving Sanghyuk a pat on the shoulder. “I’ll be downstairs at the bar drowning my sorrows in some cheap ale if you need me.”

Sanghyuk snorted at that and said, “Fine, but try not to drink  _ too _ much or Hakyeon will kick your ass.”

“Maybe I can get both him and Taekwoon to join in. You think Taek is a giggly drunk or a loud drunk?”

Sanghyuk only laughed and shook his head as Wonshik made his way to the door. Before leaving, though, Wonshik stopped and looked back at him.

“Good luck.”

And with a click of the door being shut, Wonshik was gone; Sanghyuk was left alone with his nervous jitters to wait for Jaehwan’s return.

He paced for a while, mumbled to himself a few lines for the sake of practice, so many intonations and variations of ‘ _ I want to talk to you’ _ and ‘ _ I have something to tell you _ ’. Most of them were confident in a gentle manner, which was the kind of feeling he wanted to give off, but some were shy and tentative in a way that truly expressed just how insecure he was about the whole thing.

Maybe he should give up. Let Jaehwan go and try to move on, find someone else to fall in love with. Nobody would ever be like Jaehwan, though.

He almost jumped out of his skin when he heard the door being opened, a confused looking Jaehwan coming inside. Sanghyuk cleared his throat, tried to play it cool, while Jaehwan stared at him as if he’d completely lost his marbles.

“Uh… Are you ok?” Jaehwan asked, careful, and Sanghyuk promptly nodded in response.

“Y-yes, I’m great!”

Jaehwan narrowed his eyes suspiciously at him for a moment. “Ok…” He trailed off and looked around. “Where’s Wonshik?”

“He’s downstairs at the tavern.”

At the news, Jaehwan became tense, his jaw set and his lips pursed. “Oh.”

It was now or never.

“Uhm… Jaehwan?” Sanghyuk called, and dammit, it was the shy and tentative tone. “Can I— Can I talk to you?”

Jaehwan jolted as if someone had pricked him with a needle. “R-right now? I— I don’t—”

Sanghyuk flinched, a physical manifestation of his desire to grab Jaehwan by the hand and pull him closer, not let him go. He stopped himself and simply asked, “Please? It will just take a minute.”

Jaehwan hesitated, mouth opening and closing a couple times as he fidgeted where he stood, until he seemed to deflate, giving in, and said with a sigh, “...Alright.”

Sanghyuk awkwardly motioned to the bed closest to the window, and both sat down side by side, a respectable distance between them. Jaehwan was sitting very primly, his spine straight and his head raised; he looked so much more royal than Sanghyuk could ever hope to be. Wiser, kinder. He needed him, needed him so much. Jaehwan had always been his pillar of strength, whether he knew it or not, and it was past time he told him this.

After a few seconds of tense silence, Sanghyuk finally found it within him to speak. “I— I want to apologize. For… For what happened the other night.”

“O-oh,” Jaehwan stammered, shifting uncomfortably next to him. “It’s alright, it was— Just a physical reaction, you have nothing to be sorry about.”

“But I  _ am _ sorry. I never meant to put you in an uncomfortable situation, especially one like that.”

“It’s really fine. No harm done.”

“I don’t want you to think I’m some sort of pervert or anything like that, I—”

“I don’t think that at all!” Jaehwan exclaimed, a bit on the loud side, before quickly snapping his mouth shut and lowering his head. In a much more controlled volume, he said, “Truly, it’s alright.”

“O-ok. Alright. Thank you,” Sanghyuk somehow managed to mutter.

“No problem,” Jaehwan said, already making to stand up. “I should go now—”

“Wait!” Sanghyuk all but shouted, one hand instinctively reaching out, and Jaehwan jumped with the start it caused him. “I— There’s one more thing.”

Jaehwan stared at him for a moment longer before begrudgingly sitting down on the bed again. Sanghyuk swallowed down the lump in his throat, his mouth dry, his heart racing. Time to get Jaehwan to listen.

“I— I’ve been thinking,” he started, voice wavering, “ever since you said you would give up your position as my advisor, I— I have decided to abdicate the throne.”

“What!?” Jaehwan screeched, loud enough that Sanghyuk flinched next to him. “Sanghyuk, you can’t—!”

“I  _ can _ ,” Sanghyuk interrupted, firm. He had to listen. “I don’t want to rule, especially if it means not having you there with me.”

Jaehwan huffed, incredulous, shaking his head at him. “You’re being selfish,” he finally said once he found he was still capable of speech. “This isn’t about you and it isn’t about me, it’s about what’s best for the people.”

“ _ You _ are what’s best for the people,” Sanghyuk replied, adding before Jaehwan could say anything else, “and you can’t talk about being selfish when you’re running around making decisions on your own based on what  _ you _ think is right.”

“Sanghyuk—”

“No,” Sanghyuk shook his head to emphasize his rejection. “I can only rule with you, or not at all.”

Jaehwan scoffed, still incredulous, staring at Sanghyuk like he’d just turned purple and began speaking a different language. “So that’s it? You’ll just— Just guilt me into changing my mind?”

“No, never,” Sanghyuk said, honest, earnest. “I’m just stating a fact: I can’t do it, I don’t  _ want _ to do it, not without you there.”

“I told you, this is not about—”

“Jyani—” Sanghyuk reached out to cover Jaehwan’s hand with his own, causing him to tense up with the contact. Sanghyuk lowered his eyes and huffed to himself, bitter. “Are my scales that repulsive to you?”

Jaehwan frowned, taken aback by the question. “What? Why—”

“You never touch me,” Sanghyuk affirmed, voice harsh, determined. The time had come. No turning back. “And when I touch you, you never stay for long.”

“It’s not— It’s not the scales,” Jaehwan started in a loud, startled voice, but ended close to a whisper, eyes moving to stare at a random point on the floor. “You’re the Crown Prince. I’m your Arcane Advisor.”

Sanghyuk waited for a moment, expecting Jaehwan to elaborate. When he didn’t, Sanghyuk encouraged him with a simple, “So?”

“So?” Jaehwan echoed with a scoff that wasn’t as derisive as it was sad. “I was being trained to look after you and protect you. Not touching you was part of the rules, and your father— I was always watched very closely.” Jaehwan said, lowering his eyes to the ground. He didn’t move his hand away, though. “Your father was very clear with me from the day I arrived at Castrum Draconis. I was to take care of you and that meant keeping our interactions—  _ Proper _ ,” Jaehwan said the word as if it was acid on his tongue. Sanghyuk only stared at him, stunned - he never considered that as a reason, never thought Jaehwan had any other motive behind his aversion to touching him other than, well, aversion. Rules— It never crossed his mind Jaehwan had  _ rules _ , especially rules like that. “I was ordered to never initiate contact, not to encourage you to initiate contact, maintain a respectable distance at all times. It was either follow that rule or lose my position.”

Sanghyuk was silent for a moment, tongue darting out to wet his dry lips before he whispered, “Nobody’s watching now.”

Jaehwan looked up from the ground, eyes wide with confusion and, Sanghyuk hoped he wasn’t imagining, expectation. “Sanghyuk…?”

“There’s no one to tell you can’t anymore,” Sanghyuk said shakily, squeezing Jaehwan’s hand gently before guiding it up to his cheek, leaning his head into his palm and closing his eyes. “Touch me.”

He could feel Jaehwan’s hand trembling against his skin at the request, but he didn’t move away, didn’t protest or refuse him. Jaehwan simply let Sanghyuk hold his hand in place, slender fingers twitching over his scales with uncertainty. Sanghyuk exhaled a content breath, pressing against Jaehwan’s palm and rubbing his cheek on it like a needy cat. Jaehwan’s touch was warm and soft, and Sanghyuk felt as if there were thousands of tiny thunderbolts prickling at his skin - he didn’t know if it was just the fuzzy happiness he felt or if it was the magic running in Jaehwan’s bloodstream. He was glad of it either way.

Sanghyuk would have stayed like that, satisfied with just holding Jaehwan’s hand against his cheek, but Jaehwan, seemingly relaxing a bit, began to stroke his cheekbone with his thumb. The sensation had Sanghyuk almost melting, and any self-control he had broke like nothing more than a soap bubble.

He turned his head the slightest bit, brushing his lips over Jaehwan’s skin. Jaehwan inhaled sharply but still didn’t try to pull away, and Sanghyuk, emboldened by this, pressed a kiss to the middle of his palm. Then he pressed another, and another, and another, trailing gentle, reverent kisses from the center of Jaehwan’s palm to his wrist, where he stopped to breathe in his scent, slow and deep. Herbs, flowers, soap. Blood.  _ Jaehwan _ .

Jaehwan shuddered, and Sanghyuk found a gentle blush dusting his cheeks once he looked up, the sight enough to make his heart flutter.

Swallowing his fear, his insecurity, Sanghyuk softly said, “Tell me to stop, and I will.”

Jaehwan jerkily shook his head, eyes shiny with tears that Sanghyuk couldn’t interpret as anything remotely related to sadness. It wasn’t sadness, and Sanghyuk knew it because he was feeling the exact same thing. It wasn’t sadness. It was— Relief, elation, anxiety.

Catharsis.

His hand was trembling as he lifted it up to Jaehwan’s cheek, his warm breath hitting his skin at uneven intervals, betraying how nervous he was; Sanghyuk could relate. He’d been dreaming of this moment for so long, wanting this for so long, and now it was about to happen and he was afraid he would ruin it, afraid they would kiss and realize there was nothing there, no spark, no fireworks, no passion.

There was no going back, though - only forward.

Sanghyuk moved slow, inching closer to Jaehwan, giving him more than enough time to change his mind, back away, tell him to stop. He didn’t. Jaehwan moved forward too, the gap between them becoming smaller as the seconds ticked by. Sanghyuk could feel Jaehwan trembling under his touch, the fear in his eyes, and maybe that was what gave him that last boost of courage to close the distance between them, his lips easily fitting Jaehwan’s.

It was exactly what he’d dreamed of and more. Sparks, fireworks, passion,  _ completion _ . It felt like coming up for air after an eternity under water. Like he’d been adrift at sea for years and finally found a safe shore. Like all the mess, the disarray in his head, finally quieted down and made sense.

The entire world -  _ his _ entire world - was only  _ Jaehwan, Jaehwan, Jaehwan. _

Jaehwan, who was kissing him back. Jaehwan, who felt the same. Jaehwan, the person he loved the most, above all else.

It was just lips pressed against lips at first, and it was so for several seconds. Once Sanghyuk moved, angling his head better, parting his lips as an invitation, it was like their dam of self-control broke. From there it was desperate, needy, tongues lapping and lips sucking, hands wandering, grabbing, squeezing, pulling. Jaehwan whimpered and gasped into his mouth, the sweetest, loveliest sounds, and Sanghyuk wished they could stay in that moment forever, that it would never end, that the world would stop spinning and let them escape reality, to just be together like that.

Somehow, in the midst of it all, Sanghyuk had pulled Jaehwan to lie down on the bed, legs entwined, his hands under his shirt, fingertips brushing the bumps of the old scars on his back - Sanghyuk would never allow anything like that ever happen again, would not let anyone hurt his Jaehwan.  _ His _ . He refused to let him go now.

That thought gave him pause, though - he didn’t want to be possessive like that, didn’t want to force Jaehwan to stay with him if he didn’t want to. He carefully pulled away, Jaehwan chasing his lips in order not to break the kiss; Sanghyuk smiled at the adorable reaction, smitten, and pressed a few more kisses to his already swollen lips before moving back so he could look at him.

“Do you really want this?” Sanghyuk asked timidly, eyes searching Jaehwan’s for something.

Jaehwan took a deep breath before answering, “Yes, I— It took me a long time to realize it, but… I’ve wanted this for a long time.” The admission made Sanghyuk’s eyes widen with surprise, the shock soon turning into giddiness, his lips curving upwards in a wide smile. Jaehwan brought his hand up to his cheek again, gentle, so gentle, and very seriously, said, “But I need  _ you _ to be sure about this.”

“I  _ am _ sure, I have never been more sure about anything, I—”

“Don’t,” Jaehwan shook his head, interrupting Sanghyuk’s words. “You’re acting on impulse, on— On your instincts and your wants. You were never any good at denying yourself anything,” he smiled a little then, teasing, before continuing. “I need you to think this through.”

“What is there to think about? I want this, and you said you want this too,” Sanghyuk argued, both hating Jaehwan for being so responsible at a time like this, but also loving it because it was just so  _ Jaehwan _ .

“There’s plenty to think about. First and most glaring is the fact that I can’t give you an heir.”

“I really couldn’t care less about th—”

“And I’m a mage. A  _ blood mage _ ,” Jaehwan continued, anxiety showing clearly on his features.

Sanghyuk grinned down at him. “Really? I hadn’t noticed.”

Jaehwan pouted, scrunching his face cutely and giving Sanghyuk a weak slap on the shoulder. “I’m serious. I’m not even fully human, I’m half elf. And a commoner, there’s not a drop of noble blood in my veins.”

“I don’t see how any of those are any reason to stop me,” Sanghyuk said honestly, brushing Jaehwan’s hair away from his eyes with his fingertips, the motion gentle as if Jaehwan was made of the most precious and fragile glass.

“Then consider this,” Jaehwan began, serious, earnest, cheeks tinted an adorable shade of pink, “if we continue this, if we— If we don’t stop, then it’s over for you.” Sanghyuk frowned quizzically, and Jaehwan continued, “You can never be with anyone else but me. I get jealous very easily and I don’t share, and I don’t settle for being second best either, so you can never marry someone else or have yourself a queen,” Jaehwan said this very fast, as if he wanted to get it over with to shorten his own mortification for uttering such words. “And I’m not the type to have one night flings, so this— If we do this, you’re mine.”

Sanghyuk blinked down at Jaehwan, who was staring up at him in a challenging way even as his cheeks became redder by the second. Then he chuckled, the sound bubbling out of him, unable to contain his happiness any longer; it was cute how Jaehwan thought those words would stop him. Like they weren’t exactly what he wanted to hear.

Sanghyuk lowered himself over Jaehwan, lips brushing over his as he spoke quietly before kissing him deep and sweet, “I can’t wait.”

 

✶✶✶

 

By the time Taekwoon returned to the room after his bath, Hakyeon was humming absently as he read a book - an Orlesian romance novel he’d bought earlier on the market. He was laying on his stomach, feet swinging in the air, and Taekwoon could only smile at the scene; he could see a future where that was a common thing for him to come back to. Hakyeon, relaxed and happy, enjoying one of his guilty pleasure books on a bed they shared.

He didn’t want to start making plans, not yet, but he caught himself thinking about it more and more every day.

Hakyeon raised his eyes from the book once he noticed his presence and smiled, promptly stretching out a hand in an invitation for Taekwoon to join him. Taekwoon would not dream of refusing.

“There you are, I was about to send out a search party,” Hakyeon teased, taking Taekwoon’s hand and pulling him to settle down by his side.

“I didn’t take  _ that _ long,” Taekwoon murmured in response, a little petulant, and Hakyeon chuckled through his nose.

“Alright, then. I just missed you, so it felt like forever.”

Taekwoon felt his face heat up; it was incredible how Hakyeon still managed to make him blush like that, even after so many weeks. “I’m sorry,” he finally mumbled. Hakyeon grinned up at him and moved so he could rest his head on Taekwoon’s lap, a content sigh leaving his lips. Taekwoon smiled to himself, starting to run his fingers through Hakyeon’s hair. “How are you feeling, my heart?”

Hakyeon huffed, taking a few seconds to speak, “I don’t even know anymore. I want to hope, but I’m afraid to hope and have it thrown to my face.”

Taekwoon simply hummed, pondering for a moment, letting Hakyeon’s feelings settle. “What do your instincts tell you?”

“Are you going to give me a ‘follow your heart’ speech?” Hakyeon asked, looking up at him with a cheeky smile on his face.

“No. I meant your instincts. Your— Gut. I’ve learned long ago to trust it beyond all logic.”

“My gut…” Hakyeon trailed off, nose scrunched up in through. “My gut tells me that— That I should trust Hongbin.”

“Then trust him, ma vhenan,” Taekwoon said. “Faith is about taking a leap and knowing you will fly. And if you take that leap and fall, I’ll be there to catch you.”

“Sweetest,” Hakyeon mumbled, taking Taekwoon’s hand in his just so he could pull it to his lips and kiss his palm. “I’m scared I’ll get hurt.”

“I would not be giving you this advice if I thought for a second you would be hurt,” Taekwoon said, soft, lacing his fingers with Hakyeon’s. “The last thing I want in the world is for you to be sad.”

“I know, honey,” Hakyeon smiled up at him as he spoke. “I’m always impressed by how good you are at giving advice.”

“I learned from you.”

Hakyeon giggled and sat up, shifting on the bed so he could press a long kiss to Taekwoon’s lips. “You’re too sweet for this world.”

“Not really,” Taekwoon murmured.

“Yes really,” Hakyeon threw back, arms looping around his middle in a loose hug. “I’m excited about showing you where I live in Cumberland.”

“I’m excited too. I want to see your house.”

“ _ Our _ house. Or, well, more like an apartment,” Hakyeon mused. “It’s  _ ours, _ though. Tiny as it might be.”

“Hakyeon—”

“No, you won’t be humble now,” Hakyeon shook his head as he spoke, grinning wide and bright. “It’s yours too. I want us to be together once this is over, this isn’t just— What I feel for you is more than something passing, it’s not just because we’re traveling together now. I— I love you. I love you so much that I’m pretty sure I’ll love you forever. I want us to start a life together.”

“I— I want that, as well,” Taekwoon confessed, eyes low as he felt suddenly shy. “But I don’t want to start hoping for it. It’s… It’s so soon, and you might change your mind. I don’t want to build expectations.”

“And I’m telling you that you  _ can _ build expectations,” Hakyeon said, cupping Taekwoon’s cheeks with his hands to keep him from looking away. “I’m not going to change my mind. I’ve actually been thinking of getting a bigger place for us. Somewhere we can have a dog. Maybe a cat? Which one do you like best?”

Taekwoon opened his mouth to reply but closed it again when he heard a soft  _ tunk _ coming from somewhere beyond the wall behind him.

“We should just get one of each and teach them to be friends. Best of both worlds,” Hakyeon kept rambling on.

“Did you hear something?”

“I’ll name one of them Garahel, after the Warden who ended the Fourth Blight and—”

_ Tunk _ .

“Did you hear that?” Hakyeon asked, perking up. Taekwoon only sighed.

_ Tunk. Tunk. Creeeak _ .

“What are they doing?” Taekwoon asked, and turned to Hakyeon. “Do you think they’re fighting?”

The creaking got slightly louder, repetitive. Hakyeon bit his lips while Taekwoon just stared at him at a loss.

“Should we check on them?”

“Oh honey,” Hakyeon shook his head. “You definitely should  _ not _ go check on them.”

“Why not?”

More creaking and Hakyeon swallowed down his laughter before speaking, “I think Jaehwan and Sanghyuk are— Figuring it out.”

Taekwoon frowned, confused, and as if on cue they heard muffled giggling coming from the room next door. The giggling was followed by a decidedly loud moan.

Taekwoon’s entire face felt like it was on fire so embarrassed he was. “O-oh.”

“Aw, come here,” Hakyeon cooed, laughter in his voice, and pulled Taekwoon to himself in an attempt to distract him, “my shy kitten, it’s ok. I’ll pull their ears later for traumatizing you.”

“I’m not traumatized,” Taekwoon grumbled.

“Come on, let’s go downstairs,” Hakyeon said, guiding Taekwoon to get up from the bed along with him. “Maybe talk a walk on the market?”

“Ok,” Taekwoon mumbled just as another, much louder moan filtered through the thin wall.

Mortifying as it had been, Taekwoon was at least glad that those two were finally acting on their feelings. Good for them.

 

✶✶✶

 

Everything was silent in the room, both of them having quieted down for a while. Jaehwan was drifting in and out of sleep in his arms, but Sanghyuk was wide awake; he was scared of falling asleep, scared that it would all turn out to be a very elaborate dream. Jaehwan, all curled up in his arms, face tucked on the crook of his neck, hair mussed and lips bruised from kissing him too much, too hard. Sanghyuk holding him close, tight,  _ safe _ .

Bliss. 

They were so warm, so comfortable under the blankets. Sanghyuk didn’t want to get up, didn’t want to break that moment. They would have to, though. Very soon.

“Did you mean it?” Jaehwan suddenly asked, voice husky and muffled. Sanghyuk thought he’d fallen asleep again.

“Did I mean what?”

“About abdicating the throne.”

Sanghyuk huffed a small laugh through his nose and pressed a kiss to the top of Jaehwan’s head. “No. I was bluffing.”

Jaehwan squawked and pulled back from their embrace to stare at Sanghyuk like the portrait of betrayal. “How dare you!?”

“I’m sorry, Jyan,” Sanghyuk cooed, pulling Jaehwan back. He only resisted a little before giving in. “I just needed you to listen and didn’t know how else to do that.”

“That was a low blow,” Jaehwan grumbled, settling down next to Sanghyuk again. “But I guess you’re right.”

“Are you still going to leave?”

Jaehwan was quiet for a few moments, biting his lips nervously. “I— This—  _ Thing _ between us, it doesn’t change the fact that I’ll be a full blood mage soon.”

“We can figure it out,” Sanghyuk raised one hand to cup Jaehwan’s cheek, thumb drawing soft circles on his skin. “You don’t have to deal with this alone.”

“I don’t want to put you and your rule in danger.”

“I know, just like I know that you won’t,” Sanghyuk leaned his forehead against Jaehwan’s as he spoke, Jaehwan’s hand coming up to rest on his arm. “I can take care of you, if you let me.”

Jaehwan flushed and made the most adorable squeaking sound, burrowing into his embrace before squealing, “How can you say that with a straight face!?”

Sanghyuk laughed and squeezed Jaehwan tight, peppering kisses over his neck and his shoulder, tracing the love bites he’d left there earlier. “I’m only telling you the truth. You’ve looked after me for years, you put up with all my bullshit and handled all the mess I got you into. Let me be the one to watch over you for a change.”

“Hyogi—”

“ _ Please _ , let me at least try,” Sanghyuk pleaded, going for his best begging voice. “Please, please,  _ please _ , give me a chance to try to make it work before deciding.” 

Jaehwan looked up at him, chin resting on his shoulder, and after a minute of contemplation he sighed and said, “It’s not like I can say ‘no’ when you ask me like that.”

“Really?” Sanghyuk perked up, smiling from ear to ear as he looked down at Jaehwan. He was smiling too. “I promise you won’t regret it.”

“I know. I trust you,” Jaehwan said, shy, and Sanghyuk immediately attacked him with kisses, leaving no inch of his face unkissed, Jaehwan’s giggles music to his ears.

He still couldn’t quite believe it - Jaehwan being kissed by him and held by him, kissing and holding him back, and it wasn’t a dream. 

He could cry with how happy he was.

“So,” Sanghyuk started after giving Jaehwan one last kiss on the lips, “you wanted this for a long time, huh?”

Jaehwan’s face turned crimson and he pouted, but still said, “Yes.”

“So you like me?” Sanghyuk asked, giddy, and Jaehwan huffed.

“We just had sex and you’re asking me if I like you?”

“I am, yes.”

“Andraste’s crooked nipples, you’re so high-maintenance,” Jaehwan sighed in affectation before smiling and kissing the corner of Sanghyuk’s lips. “Of course I like you.”

Sanghyuk was the one who squeaked with joy this time, “And that means we’re a couple now, right?”

“Well, as I said very clearly earlier, you’re mine now and I don’t plan on going anywhere, so…” Jaehwan trailed off and sighed, breezy, “I guess you’re stuck with me.”

“I’m your boyfriend?”

“Yes.”

“...Fiancé?”

Jaehwan frowned at that for a second and laughed, the sound crystalline, clear, melodic, “Fiancé? I think you have to slow down a little, Hyogi.”

“But someday?” Sanghyuk asked, poking Jaehwan’s cheek with the tip of his nose. “Imagine, you’ll be Arcane Advisor to the King of Nevarra and King Consort of Nevarra.”

“I don’t care about the titles,” Jaehwan murmured, tracing the place where his scales ended and his skin began along his left arm with his fingertip. “Titles are what kept us apart all this time. They’re just another leash.”

Sanghyuk pulled Jaehwan closer, as close as he possibly could. “I know. I won’t let that happen anymore, if we are to have titles they’ll be titles that tie us together.”

“Like King and King Consort?” Jaehwan asked, teasing, but Sanghyuk took it in stride.

“Like husband.”

Jaehwan made that cute noise again and hid his face against Sanghyuk’s chest; he could tell he was smiling, though. “Maker’s holy butthole, since when are you so cheesy?”

“Is that a yes?”

“I can’t believe I actually thought you were in love with someone else, look at you all sappy,” Jaehwan mumbled, almost inaudible, but Sanghyuk heard it anyway and snorted.

“You thought I was in love with someone else!?”

“Yeah, I did,” Jaehwan said, shy but laughing. “It crossed my mind that it could be me a few times, but I always just thought ‘no way, he would never go for me, he hates me’.”

“I never hated you, not ever, not even for a second,” Sanghyuk promised, kissing Jaehwan’s lips repeatedly before continuing. “I just thought I would never be good enough for you.”

Jaehwan frowned. “What?”

“You were always so good at everything. I felt like I could never measure up,” Sanghyuk confessed, lowering his eyes to Jaehwan’s collarbones. “I wanted to— To impress you, somehow. I thought you only saw me as an annoying little brother you had to keep in line all the time, I wanted you to see me as— As an equal.”

“Oh, Hyogi,” Jaehwan cooed, one of his hands going up to his hair, fingers getting lost amongst the soft strands. “I know I call you a brat a lot, but I never saw you as a brother. I saw you as my superior, someone I had to obey and protect, but not like a little brother. I thought you hated me because of how much I tried to control you.”

“I was just trying to get your attention.”

“And the parade of people going through your bed every night?” Jaehwan asked, eyes narrowed.

“A-ah, that was… Practice.”

“Uh huh. Practice.”

“Fine, I was trying to make you jealous, are you happy now?” Sanghyuk confessed and pouted. “It doesn’t matter now, it never actually worked.”

Jaehwan simply arched an eyebrow at him. “Oh. It worked.”

Sanghyuk blinked, processing the words, and looked up at Jaehwan with surprise. “It did?”

“Yes. I wanted to throw everyone out every single time I found them in your bed and then kick your ass, but it’s not like I had the liberty to do so. I had to— I had to just take it,” Jaehwan’s mouth twisted in distaste. “Of course, I didn’t see it as jealousy then, it just grated at me deeply.”

“Oh. Shit, Jyani, I’m so sorry, I never— That didn’t even cross my mind,” Sanghyuk immediately pulled Jaehwan into another hug. “I’m sorry, I never meant to hurt you like that, I—”

“It’s ok,” Jaehwan said, hugging him back and snuggling closer to him, a content sigh escaping his lips. “It’s ok now, but only as long as you never do it again, otherwise I’ll have to chop your dick off.”

Sanghyuk smiled to himself before answering, “I have you now. You’re the only one I want and the only one I’ll ever need.”

“Good. I meant it when I said I don’t share,” Jaehwan said with a huff.

“You never answered if you want to marry me or not,” Sanghyuk playfully reminded him.

“We’ve been sort of married for almost nine years already,” Jaehwan replied, and Sanghyuk noticed how non-committal it was. Maybe he should give up, ask him some other time, maybe wait a few months— “so yeah, why not. I can consider it and we can talk about this properly once this whole cultist thing is over and done with.”

Sanghyuk was stunned into silence for a moment.

“A maybe?” Sanghyuk decided to ask, just to confirm.

“A  _ probably, _ ” Jaehwan corrected him, a mischievous smile on his face. “You’re the future King of Nevarra, you can’t just decide to get married to your Arcane Advisor. But if it turns out we can go through with it… I think I’d like that.”

“Jyani—!”

“Don’t get too excited!” Jaehwan warned, laughing, and Maker, he looked so beautiful. “We just started this—  _ Thing _ . Let’s see how we work as a couple first, then we can consider taking a step further.”

“You’re so responsible,” Sanghyuk nuzzled Jaehwan’s neck affectionately as Jaehwan chuckled.

“And you’re so used to getting everything you want without having to work for it,” Jaehwan tugged on his earlobe after speaking. “You—  _ We _ have to be smart about this. If we’re really doing this—”

“We are.”

“...If we’re really doing this,” Jaehwan repeated after being interrupted, “we have to be careful. There’s so much that can go wrong.”

“You worry too much.”

“You don’t worry enough.”

“See? Perfect for each other.”

Jaehwan giggled and shook his head, staring at Sanghyuk with stars in his eyes. “You’re ridiculous.”

“Mhm, I am,” Sanghyuk kissed Jaehwan on the lips again, quick and sweet, before slowly disentangling himself from him so he could get up.

Jaehwan made a sound that was a cross between a whine and a groan, a pout the size of the world on his face. “Where are you going?”

“I’m going to get us something to eat,” Sanghyuk said, shooting Jaehwan a smile over his shoulder as he moved to where he’d thrown his pants earlier. “Is dinner in bed such a bad idea?”

“Come back to bed, I’m cold,” Jaehwan whined in one of his cutesy voices, and Sanghyuk chuckled to himself. He was just so happy.

“I promise I won’t be long.”

“Hyogi,” Jaehwan called, his voice tone much lower, inviting, and Sanghyuk turned to face him as he was midway through pulling up his pants. “Come back to bed?” Jaehwan asked in that same deep cadence, tossing the covers aside just to expose his naked body to Sanghyuk.

How could he say no to that?

Without even bothering pulling his pants up the rest of the way or taking them off completely, Sanghyuk hurried back to bed and all but plopped down on top of Jaehwan, immediately attacking him with kisses. Jaehwan just giggled, arms and legs wrapped around Sanghyuk’s body and  _ that _ — That’s where he belonged. Right there, enveloped in Jaehwan’s embrace.

“We’re going to have to get out of bed eventually,” Sanghyuk helpfully reminded Jaehwan as he trailed kisses from his lips to the line of his jaw.

“Mhm, I know,” Jaehwan said, hands sliding down his back slowly. “It doesn’t have to be right now, though.”

“You’re right, you’re always right,” Sanghyuk said against his neck, Jaehwan’s hands traveling down his lower back. “I hear you can go without food for around a week.”

“Just a week? That’s not enough,” Jaehwan whined, hands finally reaching their destination and grabbing Sanghyuk’s ass - it made him giggle, “but I guess it’ll have to suffice.”

Sanghyuk obligingly moved one of his hands to the back of Jaehwan’s thigh, incentive for him to keep his legs around him. “Once all of this is over, we should go on a vacation together. Somewhere quiet, pretty and private.”

“Sounds perfect,” Jaehwan answered, airy, head tipped back as an invitation for Sanghyuk to continue trailing kisses down his neck. “Maybe we can go to Antiva or—”

The sound of the door opening interrupted Jaehwan, but it was the squeak of terror that startled them - Wonshik stood at the door, one hand on the handle and the other covering his eyes, the tips of his ears red. Sanghyuk bit his lips not to laugh.

“I’m— I’m sorry! I just— Hakyeon asked me to check if you guys were coming down for dinner!” Wonshik said, voice several octaves higher

“Why so nervous, Shikshik?” Jaehwan asked, teasing. “Don’t you wanna join us?”

Wonshik made an inhuman noise of profound shame, and Sanghyuk, holding back his laughter, said, “We’ll be down in a minute.”

Wonshik shrieked a quick ‘ok!’ and scurried away, closing the door with a loud bang. They could hear his hurried footsteps running away down the hall. Once the sound faded, both of them broke into snickers.

“You’re terrible,” Sanghyuk said, pressing a hard kiss to Jaehwan’s cheek.

“Come on, it was funny,” he replied. “It’ll give him a good memory, at least.”

“You’re the absolute worst,” Sanghyuk gave Jaehwan one last kiss, on the lips this time, before hesitantly sitting up. “We should go otherwise we’ll really spend the rest of the week in this bed.”

“You say that like it’s a bad thing.”

 

✶✶✶

 

Overall, Hakyeon considered that night to have been a smashing success, at least compared to how shitty the previous ones were. The food served at the inn was fairly priced and delicious, the rooms were comfortable, and while there was still some lingering sadness looming over them, that was temporarily pushed aside to make way for the happiness (and relief) they all felt about Jaehwan and Sanghyuk finally getting their shit together.

And they were so  _ cute _ .

They had gathered after dinner in the room Hakyeon and Taekwoon were occupying to settle on the finer details of their last couple days of journey to Cumberland, Wonshik slouching on the armchair near the window, Jaehwan and Sanghyuk sitting by the end of the bed, tangled together like vines, and Hakyeon reclining against the headboard, Taekwoon dozing with his head on his lap. It was a peaceful atmosphere, a welcome change from the bleakness of the past few days.

“We should avoid the Imperial Highway,” Wonshik said as Hakyeon ran his fingers absently through Taekwoon’s hair. It was getting quite long - he would look lovely with longer hair, not that there was a way for Taekwoon to look anything  _ but _ lovely. “It’s the first place where the cultists would look for us, and it’s too open, too easy to spot us.”

“It’s also the fastest route,” Sanghyuk argued, chin resting atop Jaehwan’s head, who in turn was playing with Sanghyuk’s fingers. They looked so comfortable, so— Happy. Hakyeon was happy for them.

“Maybe Deceit can cloak us?” Jaehwan offered, tapping a random rhythm with his fingernail on the scales that covered Sanghyuk’s left hand. “The Imperial Highway would be much easier on Reginald’s feet.”

“I don’t think your bronto has a preference for terrain,” Wonshik replied, joking, and Jaehwan huffed playfully.

“Of course he does! Reginald is a bronto with a taste for only the smoother terrains and the finer things.”

“No wonder he likes you so much, then,” Sanghyuk said as he nuzzled Jaehwan’s cheek, eliciting a wave of giddy giggles from him. It warmed Hakyeon’s heart.

“You two look so happy,” Hakyeon couldn’t help the comment, and Jaehwan beamed at him, Sanghyuk biting back his own smile. “It was about time you two got together. I’m happy for you, even if you did traumatize Taekwoonie a little bit.”

Both Jaehwan and Sanghyuk frowned, Sanghyuk being the one to ask, “How did we traumatize him?”

“Let’s just say the walls here are very thin.”

Jaehwan covered his face with both hands while Sanghyuk snorted, amused. “Yeah, sorry about that, I underestimated how loud Jyani could be.”

“Only when I’m happy!” Jaehwan responded from behind his hands, voice muffled, and Sanghyuk cooed at him before kissing the top of his head.

“Aw, it’s ok, Jyan,” he said, “you weren’t loud all the time! You got really quiet when your mouth was busy on my—”

“Please, stop talking,” Taekwoon interrupted them, not even bothering opening his eyes but bringing one hand up to cover the ear that wasn’t squished against Hakyeon’s thigh.

Hakyeon chuckled and placed his own hand on top of Taekwoon’s, adding an extra layer of protection to his poor ear. The others only laughed, Wonshik even stomping his feet on the ground such was his amusement. While Hakyeon didn’t like that Taekwoon was the source of the laughter, it was still good to see Wonshik having a good time; he hadn’t smiled much lately, even less laugh openly like that.

“See, you’re traumatizing my poor darling,” Hakyeon said in a cooing voice, bending down so he could plant a series of kisses on Taekwoon’s cheek. 

“As we were saying, though,” Sanghyuk was the first to control himself and stop laughing, “Imperial Highway or random trail through the woods?”

“I think speed is more important right now,” Hakyeon mused, uncovering Taekwoon’s ear so he would hear him. “Dearest? Do you think Deceit can cloak us so we can travel on the Imperial Highway?”

Taekwoon opened one eye and turned his head slightly towards Hakyeon, looking drowsy and soft with sleep. “Mm… I think so, but I’m still mad at Deceit.”

“It’s for a good cause, honey.”

Taekwoon groaned and hid his face on Hakyeon’s leg for a moment before sitting up, rubbing his eye with one hand like a sleepy child. Hakyeon just smiled to himself, distractedly combing Taekwoon’s hair with his fingers. “Fine. But if—”

Taekwoon trailed off and turned his head towards the door, suddenly alert like a wild cat who spots a prey. Hakyeon frowned and followed his line of sight, the others also confused with the sudden change.

“Taekwoonie, what—”

“Shh,” Taekwoon quietly shushed him, one hand raised in a silent request for everyone to wait a moment. Hakyeon tried to listen as well, and sure enough, the noise downstairs was no longer the drunken chaos it should be - it was a very different kind of chaos. Taekwoon suddenly got up from the bed, at the same time saying in a commanding tone, “Go get your packs.”

He didn’t have to say it twice; Jaehwan, Sanghyuk and Wonshik promptly rushed out of the room to go retrieve their belongings. When they opened the door, Hakyeon could smell smoke.

He immediately sprung from the bed, hurrying to get his bags from the corner where he’d left them. His heart was rushing, hands shaking with fear, with anxiety. What was happening? Had the cultists found them? Or was it all just a coincidence, just an accidental fire caused by the cook? He didn’t know and it made it all worse.

Either way, they had to get out.

The commotion outside was louder by the time Hakyeon had hoisted his heavy packs onto his shoulders, Taekwoon already carrying his own bags as well as his daggers in both hands - Taekwoon obviously expected to fight, so Hakyeon followed suit and unsheathed his own daggers, his concern heightened with the way the situation escalated. They could see the smoke now. The fire was moving up to the rooms.

Taekwoon whistled to Fear and Deceit to show up while at the same time hurrying to the door, peeking out to check for any danger before signaling for Hakyeon to follow him. Hakyeon didn’t argue, simply ran after him towards the room their friends were in. The hallway was darkened with smoke, his eyes stinging the moment he stepped outside, nostrils burning with the smell. He could hear shouting, clattering, the sound of people running and fighting, metal clashing against metal. They had to get out and they had to be quick about it.

Jaehwan was still struggling with his pack when they entered the room, Sanghyuk trying his best to help him with it, while Wonshik was peeking out the window in search of any sign they were the targets. The ravens flew past them and perched on the windowsill.

“And here I was hoping for an early night in,” Jaehwan was grumbling as Sanghyuk helped with one of the straps on his pack, “I didn’t even have a chance to nap properly yet, I need my post-coital beauty sleep!”

“Jyani, I think this is not the time to share that sort of information,” Sanghyuk pointed out, finally done with Jaehwan’s pack.

“I can’t see anything outside,” Wonshik said, hurrying back towards the door. “What’s the plan?”

“We have to find an exit,” Taekwoon said, keeping watch by the door. “I don’t think we can go downstairs.”

“How are we getting out then? It’s the third floor!” Hakyeon pointed out, but before anyone could respond, Taekwoon suddenly stepped back into the room and closed the door, latching it shut. Hakyeon grabbed him by the sleeve. “Taekwoonie?”

“Someone’s coming.”

They all slowly backed away from the door, weapons in hand, and listened. They could still hear shouting, the sounds of things breaking, the wooden floor shaking as parts of the structure of the inn caved because of the fire.

Hakyeon held his breath, both out of anxiety and not to inhale too much smoke, hearing the sounds of fighting right outside, on the corridor, and coming closer at a concerning pace. Hakyeon would have preferred to just go outside and meet the enemy head-on - waiting was worse. Waiting was always worse.

They waited for what felt like an eternity, an eternity of only a few seconds, until someone tried to jiggle the doorknob to enter the room. When that didn’t work, whoever it was began slamming something against the door - likely themselves, throwing their body-weight against the ancient wood in order to break it down. It wouldn’t take long to make it happen.

“ _ Little prince! _ ” a rough, husky voice called in a singsong way, teasing, taunting, “ _ Open the door so we can play! _ ”

Sanghyuk, standing next to Hakyeon, opened his mouth to, probably, yell at the man outside to fuck off, but Jaehwan immediately stopped him by covering it with one hand and whispering, “ _ Hyogi, don’t. _ ”

Another heavy slam against the door, the wood splintering around the latch. Hakyeon touched Taekwoon’s lower back, hoping the contact would be somehow grounding; it was. He swallowed his jitters, corrected his stance for the sake of balance. Jaehwan had begun gathering his magic too, from the way his skin was tingling. Fear had his wings spread open, casting a long, menacing shadow on the ground.

One last blow against the door was all it took for it to crash open, splinters flying everywhere and smoke pouring inside like a wave, and through that smoke a group of men marched, dressed in rustic leathers and rough fabrics, carrying large weapons and looking like they were having far too much fun.

“Knock knock, boys,” said the man who appeared to be the leader, and Hakyeon only made a face. What was he, a comedian? Ridiculous.

“Who’s there?” Jaehwan answered, “Is it a dumbfuck who thinks he’s funny?”

Hakyeon closed his eyes and sighed. Now that would just piss him off.

Sanghyuk apparently thought the same thing, because he only looked over his shoulder at Jaehwan with an expression that seemed to say ‘really?’.

They didn’t have much time to react further than that, because the man roared with outrage and rushed them, his hatched raised, and Wonshik was the first to move, awkwardly using his shield to block that first blow.

After that, all hell broke loose.

They scattered around the room, Jaehwan’s magic enveloping them in a shimmering shield - not blue as it usually was, but red. A shield of blood magic, likely much more potent and resistant than a shield cast with normal magic. Hakyeon decided not to put it to the test - better safe than sorry, his grandma used to say.

Wonshik was handling the leader to his left, so Hakyeon charged at a different target, this one a burly man with a thick beard and an enormous ax, which would be intimidating to someone less experienced but not to Hakyeon - big men with large weapons were slow. Hakyeon wasn’t slow.

He easily dodged the man’s first ax swing, spinning away before burying his dagger on the back of his neck, fast and precise, much like those scorpions they’ve seen on the Silent Plains. He didn’t wait to see the damage, moving to his next target, this time one of two men who thought their joined efforts would be enough to stop Taekwoon - fools. His Taekwoonie was far too skilled for a couple of bandits to take him out.

Taekwoon, bless his entire existence, noticed his approach and deftly angled himself in a way that forced one of the bandits to turn his back to Hakyeon, which made it much easier for him to thrust his dagger to the side of his neck. The man gurgled in pain, blood pouring from his mouth, and Hakyeon mercilessly pulled the back of his shirt so he would fall backwards instead of flopping on top of Taekwoon, who was finishing off his own foe. Hakyeon beamed once Taekwoon turned to face him, and without being able to control himself, he pulled him closer and pressed a long kiss to his cheek.

Taekwoon smiled, the cutest smile in the whole world, and moved to continue fighting. Hakyeon stood there for a moment, smitten, before also returning to the skirmish. Maybe he should have learned from his mistakes, though, from the time he’d been speared through the stomach for being distracted admiring Taekwoon, because the moment he turned around he was knocked over by another bandit slamming against his side. Before he could get up, the man raised his weapon, a menacing looking mace with sharp, rusty spikes, and Hakyeon could only raise his daggers as a way of blocking the blow.

The impact never came, for in the last minute the man had been yanked back by the hair, and Hakyeon could only spot the silvery glint of a dagger as it was slid across his throat. This time, for a welcome change, no blood splattered onto him; the moment his throat was slit, the man was tossed aside like a limp ragdoll, and Hakyeon finally saw the face of his savior. His eyes went wide - so did his smile.

“Binnie!”

Hongbin looked like— Like shit, really, like he had just been through the Black City and back and hadn’t had a chance to shower, his hair sticking to his face in tendrils, cheeks hollowed, eyes sunken, skin bone pale, clothes stained with dirt and dried blood. Hakyeon got to his feet, wanting to give his friend a hug, ask what had happened to him, but Hongbin was already moving again before he could even open his mouth.

Hongbin went straight towards the window, pushing a bandit - the one who was fighting with Sanghyuk, in fact - out of it with one of his feet and without missing a beat, he climbed on the windowsill and turned to them. “This way.”

“What—” Wonshik started to ask, rage and shock warring in his features, but that wasn’t the time.

“Let’s go, we have no time!” Hakyeon yelled, pulling Wonshik by the arm towards the window. 

Taekwoon was already stepping out of the window by the time Hakyeon reached it, Sanghyuk fighting off one more persistent man who was set on trying to get to Jaehwan.

Or, as Hakyeon found when he got closer, trying to get Jaehwan to stop bludgeoning the man with his staff.

“Hyogi, let me go, I got him!”

“You did, babe, I’m so proud, now let’s  _ go _ .”

“But—”

“Jyani!” Sanghyuk exclaimed, frustrated, before simply manhandling Jaehwan away from the already half-dead pulp that was left of the man, and once they were far enough, he hoisted Jaehwan up on his shoulder and carried him to the window like a sack of magic potatoes.

Impressive, considering Sanghyuk already had his very heavy packs on his back, and Jaehwan was also carrying all his baggage.

Once all of them were moving in the same direction, the two ravens staying behind to keep the bandits from giving chase, Hakyeon followed the others out the window; Hongbin and Taekwoon were a good ways ahead of them, using the wood beams that ran across the building’s walls as a walkway. Hakyeon groaned, one look to the distance from that ledge to the ground making him feel queasy, but it was either that or be stuck in a burning inn with a bunch of bandits that wanted them dead.

He made sure to keep his body pressed against the wall, hot as it was, his weight even on both legs, and carefully began walking sideways on the narrow ledge, repeating in his head ‘do not look down’ like a mantra. Peeking towards where Taekwoon and Hongbin had gone, he found that Hongbin was climbing to the rooftop using a rope, something Hakyeon suspected Hongbin himself had put there when he arrived - he certainly hadn’t used the front door.

Taekwoon noticed Hakyeon approaching and reached out a hand to steady him, helping him move faster on the ledge and then climb on the rope. Hongbin was waiting on the roof already, hand outstretched to help him, and one by one they all got onto the roof. Once Taekwoon, the last one to climb, joined them, Hongbin rushed towards the other end of the roof and leaped from the inn’s rooftop to one of a nearby house, the distance not too terrible for them all to be able to make the leap easily. Even Jaehwan, the least athletic of the bunch, managed to do it without a hitch.

Hakyeon’s focus was now turned to Hongbin -  _ back, he’s back, he didn’t leave us _ \- and on the million questions he wanted to ask, why did he leave, where did he go, what happened to him while he was away, but it was not the time. All he could do was keep running, put as much distance between them and the inn, the flames casting long, ominous shadows all around them, Fear and Deceit’s cries echoing in the dark.

 

✶✶✶

 

Hongbin led the others to a secluded old warehouse, the rusty metal door clanging shut with a loud, dry sound that echoed around them. His heart was pounding, the adrenaline in his bloodstream keeping the pain at bay; his shoulder was dislocated ever since he jumped from that damn tower, and he was certain he had one or two broken ribs, but he had barely stopped to rest since he got away. All he’d cared about was getting back to them, back to his family.

He’d barely turned around when he felt someone bodily crash into him, arms around him like vines, and he immediately recognized the person’s build, the deceitfully skinny arms that were far stronger than anyone could imagine.

“I knew it, I knew you would come back, I knew it!” Hakyeon declared emphatically against his shoulder, and Hongbin didn’t care it was his dislocated shoulder, didn’t care about the pressure Hakyeon was putting on it, he only cared that his best friend was still his best friend; he didn’t hate him. Hakyeon didn’t hate him.

He held him back, tight, as tight as his wounds allowed him to. “I’m so sorry, Yeonie,” he said, voice thick with emotion, “I’m so sorry, I fucked up so bad, I couldn’t fix it—”

“It’s ok, you’re ok,” Hakyeon promised, one hand cradling the back of his head, soothing, warm. Hongbin wanted to cry, but he couldn’t, not yet, not before he explained. 

Hongbin pulled away, and Hakyeon seemed to take the hint and let him go easily. The moment they were apart, however, Hongbin had the split-second view of Jaehwan stomping forward and his fist flying directly at him, and then all he could register was pain and warmth in the very middle of his face, blood almost immediately starting to run from his (likely broken) nose.

“Jaehwan!” he heard Hakyeon’s voice, felt his touch on his back. “What the fuck!?”

“Ow,” Jaehwan’s voice whined next, “I didn’t know punching someone hurt so bad.”

“Yeah, imagine being punched, feels super,” Hongbin found it in himself to reply, even if his voice sounded strange. He raised his hand to see Jaehwan cradling his hand against his chest, presumably the one he used to deck him.

“Apologize right now!” Hakyeon demanded, but Hongbin shook his head.

“No. I deserved it,” Hongbin said, grimacing when he tried to wipe some of the blood from his face, his nose throbbing with the action. “Shit, for a mage you have an impressive arm potency.”

Jaehwan puffed up with pride at that. “Thank you!”

“Are you alright?” Hakyeon asked, careful, and Hongbin sighed.

“No,” he said, eyes going from Hakyeon, diligently standing next to him, to the others watching him from a few paces away. To Jaehwan, still cradling his arm, to Sanghyuk, staring at him with a scowl on his face, to Taekwoon, watching the scene before him with mild interest, and Wonshik— the rage in Wonshik’s eyes.

Hongbin lowered his own eyes to the ground.

“I… I’ll tell you all everything,” Hongbin finally said, meek, subdued. “If you give me a chance to explain, that is.”

“Of course we’ll give you a chance,” Hakyeon said, and when silence followed, he turned his gaze to the others and asked fiercely, “Won’t we?”

“I mean…” Sanghyuk began, “he  _ did _ just save us, so… It’s only fair.”

Jaehwan wrinkled his nose with distaste. Taekwoon didn’t react. Wonshik scoffed, bitter, aggressive.

Hongbin had expected this, but fuck, it didn’t make it hurt any less.

“Come on, Binnie, you look exhausted, let’s get you somewhere to sit down,” Hakyeon said, and after doing so he pulled on Hongbin’s arm - the adrenaline gone, or at least fairly depleted, he could clearly feel the pain again. He yelped and recoiled from the touch, and Hakyeon immediately went into fussing mode.

“Binnie, are you ok!? Oh shit, I’m so sorry,” Hakyeon fumbled with the words, trying to get Hongbin to look at him.

Hongbin inhaled sharply and, somehow, found it in himself to stand up straight. He could feel cold sweat on his brow, knew that he was likely pale as Death itself, shaking all over with the effort needed to bear the pain, but he stood with his head high.

“I’m fine. I just jumped from a very high tower.”

“What!?” Hakyeon shrieked, eyes wide with shock, and off he went to look around for a place for Hongbin to sit. “Jaehwan, do something!”

“Why should I?” Jaehwan asked, defiant, arms crossed as he looked at Hongbin. “Who’s to say he won’t steal our shit again once I heal him?”

“Jyani,” Sanghyuk called, voice quiet, gentle, and Hongbin noticed the way one of his arms snaked around Jaehwan’s waist, the gesture intimate and telling. “You should heal him. Give him a chance.”

“But Hyogi—”

“Please?” Sanghyuk insisted, and after a moment where they seemed to have a staring contest, Jaehwan sighed and turned to Hongbin once again.

“Fine. But you better not try anything funny.”

Hakyeon gave Jaehwan a warning glare before guiding Hongbin, more carefully this time, towards a stack of crates at the back of the warehouse, where he found one intact enough for Hongbin to sit on. He didn’t want to admit it, but being off his feet after days of running non-stop felt like heaven.

“I’ll need you to take your shirt off so I can see the damage,” Jaehwan instructed as he came closer, and Hongbin promptly did as asked, albeit carefully, slowly. Hakyeon and Jaehwan, the two closest to him, gasped once they caught sight of his upper body.

His right shoulder was swollen and bruised, obviously not positioned the way it was supposed to be, and the area of his ribs, which he suspected to be broken, was also covered in dark bruises. He had many other minor wounds, little cuts and scratches, and now a broken nose.

“Maker’s flaccid nipples, what happened to you!?” Jaehwan exclaimed, immediately moving to start examining him.

“Like I said, I jumped from a very high tower,” Hongbin said, not quite finding it in himself to be sarcastic about it. “I angled my body in a way that wouldn’t be too hard on my legs since I’d need them to run away, so my torso got the worst of it.”

“This looks painful and very close to becoming infected, are you insane!?” Jaehwan’s voice got higher in pitch. “A couple more days and you could have lost your arm!”

“Lucky me,” Hongbin finally found his sarcasm. Maybe not all was lost.

“Binnie… What happened?” Hakyeon asked, careful, taking a seat next to him on the crate and holding his hand. Hongbin kept his head low, but he could still see from the edges of his vision that the others had come closer too.

He took a deep breath and exhaled slowly, trying to gather himself, his nerve. It was time to come clean.

“I’m not quite sure where to begin,” Hongbin finally said, not too loud, but it sounded louder in the silence that fell over the group. “Just— I want you all to know that my actions were never with the intention to hurt you. On the contrary, I was— I was trying to fix everything.”

“You’ll have to elaborate,” Sanghyuk said.

“I—” Hongbin started but stopped himself. Breathed in and out, deep and slow. “I am a bard.”

“You mean a spy?” Wonshik spoke for the first time since he’d been back, and it sent chills down his spine - both because he’d missed his gruff voice and because his tone was cold as ice. “I should have known.”

“Let him talk first, hm?” Hakyeon chided, like a parent reprimanding a child. “Keep going, Binnie.”

“I am a bard, and I was trained in Orlais after I left Nevarra,” Hongbin continued. “I’m not a thief like you all thought I was, and I am not an assassin. Like Wonshik said, I’m a— Spy. Though that doesn’t cover the extent of my skills. Sabotage, infiltration, subterfuge—”

“I’m assuming revealing your occupation to us is relevant?” Sanghyuk questioned.

“Yes. I want you to know everything,” he replied, wincing when he felt Jaehwan’s fingers on the tender flesh of his shoulder to examine it. He gritted his teeth and continued, “I was hired, at first, to steal the jewel. The payment was very good but— I didn’t accept it for money, not all the money in the world would convince me to come back to Nevarra.”

“Why did you accept the job?” Hakyeon asked, careful, and Hongbin, despite himself, looked at Wonshik. Their eyes met for a split second before Wonshik looked away.

“It was for a selfish reason,” Hongbin said. “Personal. What matters is, I took the job. I thought it would be simple, go to the ball, get the jewel, get out. Nobody was supposed to get hurt, at least not as far as I knew. When the attack happened that night— It all clicked into place.”

“We were right, then? They were trying to frame you?” Wonshik asked, his tone still cold, impersonal. So unlike himself.

“Yes. At that point I didn’t know about the cultists, though,” Hongbin continued, pausing for a second when Jaehwan began examining his ribs to give himself time to reel in the pain. “I only found out about them when I went to confront them.”

“You confronted them!? Binnie, you could have been killed!” Hakyeon screeched, and Hongbin winced considering how close Hakyeon was. His ears were ringing a little, even.

“I know, but I had leverage. I had the jewel to bargain with, even if it wasn’t exactly in  _ my _ possession,” Hongbin continued his tale, keeping his eyes low. “That’s when I met the Harbinger.”

“You know who he is, then!?” Sanghyuk asked, taking a step forward. Jaehwan raised a hand to stop him from coming any closer.

“Hyogi, calm down,” he said, getting up so he could approach Sanghyuk. “Getting angry now won’t solve anything.”

Sanghyuk pursed his lips, clearly trying to contain his most explosive emotions. “I know, but—” 

“I get it,” Jaehwan interrupted, taking both of Sanghyuk’s hands, clenched into fists, and coaxing him to relax enough so they could lace their fingers together. “I’m angry too, and we’ll get a chance to act on it, but this is not the time.” Sanghyuk opened his mouth and closed it again, and Jaehwan pulled him into himself, hugging him tight. “Shh, it’s ok. Do you want some of the tonic?”

Sanghyuk shook his head, all but slumping into Jaehwan, face hidden against his shoulder. Hongbin couldn’t help but smile to himself.

“You two are finally together, then? I’m glad.”

“Did  _ everyone _ know?” Jaehwan asked, throwing his hands up, and Sanghyuk laughed, one hand on Jaehwan’s hip to steady him.

“Actually… At the ball, when Hongbin stole the jewel from me,” Sanghyuk said, “before he left, he advised me to confess to you, based only on the way I looked at you.”

Jaehwan’s jaw went slack. Hongbin and Sanghyuk exchanged an amused smile.

“That was— That was actually the reason why I was brave enough to ask you to dance.”

“What— All this time, you knew!?” Jaehwan turned to stare at Hongbin, shellshocked, and Hongbin rolled his left shoulder, the uninjured one, in dismissal.

“I’m pretty sure everyone in a thousand-mile radius could tell Sanghyuk was head over heels about you.”

“Hongbin gave me advice several times about— You,” Sanghyuk revealed. “It was very good advice, too. That’s why— That’s why I began to trust him.”

Hongbin lowered his head again. “I’m sorry if I broke that trust. My advice was always sincere, though.”

“I know,” Sanghyuk replied in a soft whisper.

There was a beat of awkward silence. Jaehwan gave Sanghyuk a quick kiss on the cheek and returned to Hongbin’s side, swiping his thumb on some of the blood that was covering his face without warning to use it for his blood magic spell. Hongbin didn’t particularly mind. 

“Binnie?” Hakyeon called, soft, afraid to shatter the tentative peace that settled amongst them. “What happened next?”

“I tried to find a way to get out of it. I thought giving them the jewel in exchange for Hakyeon and Wonshik being left unharmed would be a good enough exchange, but— They wanted more.”

“What did they want?” Hakyeon, again, asked.

“They wanted us to find the map,” Hongbin informed. “They knew it was on the Silent Plains, but they couldn’t figure out the exact location. They thought that using us would be a better way to get what they wanted without having to risk losing their own resources. In exchange, they promised that myself, Hakyeon and Wonshik would not be harmed and would be allowed to leave once we found the map.”

“Just you three? What about us!?” Jaehwan asked, obviously infuriated.

“I— You see, back then I didn’t care about you, or Sanghyuk, or Taekwoon. I didn’t care what happened to you,” Hongbin admitted before smiling bitterly to himself. “That, of course, changed.”

“So you care about us now?” Sanghyuk questioned. Hongbin’s only reply was a nod.

“I will get there soon. There is more that happened before that,” Hongbin continued. “I took the deal, obviously, and after that, I was to keep an eye on you and report our progress, so they could set the stage on their end. Like Jaehwan deciding to travel to Perendale - everything that happened there, it was all staged.”

“What…?” Jaehwan’s expression went lax, eyes wide with shock. “You mean— They knew who I was?”

Hongbin, again, nodded. “They did. Their goal was for you to find the letter that would point us to the Silent Plains. The Silent Plains was their main goal from the start.”

“Fuck, I feel so stupid now,” Jaehwan slumped down on the floor after speaking, and Sanghyuk was at his side in the blink of an eye. Hongbin watched as Sanghyuk crouched next to Jaehwan and whispered something in his ear, something he didn’t hear and didn’t try to. 

“And while you were away— There was the attack in the woods,” Hongbin continued. “I was told that the attack  _ had _ to happen, but someone— Another bard, told me not to let the attack happen. I weighed my options and made a choice, and I regret it until this day because Hakyeon got hurt as a consequence.”

“You— You knew about the attack?” Hakyeon asked, incredulous. Hongbin noticed Taekwoon tense up from the corner of his eyes.

Hongbin shakily nodded. “Yes. I— I gave them our location. It was all my fault.”

“Binnie—” Hakyeon started, but Hongbin shook his head to make him stop talking.

“Don’t. Don’t say it’s ok, don’t say it wasn’t my fault,” he said, vision becoming blurry with tears once more. “I knew the risks and I did it anyway. It’s my fault.” Hongbin paused to take a deep breath, so he could continue his tale in a way that was coherent. “It was then that I knew they wouldn’t keep their end of the deal. The attack was important because they  _ wanted _ to kill you, or any of us. They wanted to kill us all one by one, and I couldn’t— I couldn’t let it happen.”

To his surprise, Jaehwan placed one hand on his knee, the gesture soothing, supportive. Hongbin breathed in shakily to keep himself from crying. He promised himself he wouldn’t cry, not in front of the others. They wouldn’t believe his tears anyway.

“Why didn’t you tell us? We could have tried to help you, we could have—” Hakyeon’s voice was faltering, trembling, and Hongbin shook his head to stop him.

“No. I couldn’t tell you. I— I was scared. I was— I didn’t want you all to hate me.”

“Hongbin…” Jaehwan called his name but trailed off before saying anything else. After a moment he shook himself, cleared his throat and said, “We need to set your shoulder before I heal you.”

“I can do that, I’m stronger than you,” Sanghyuk promptly offered as he stepped forward, Jaehwan easily granting him permission to help. Hongbin closed his eyes and turned his face away, biting his lips to contain a loud groan of pain that escaped him once Sanghyuk pulled his shoulder joint back to its intended position. Hongbin felt dizzy, ready to pass out, but he still had much to say.

“Sorry,” Sanghyuk muttered, patting Hongbin’s back apologetically. “Jyani, you can do your thing.”

“Alright, this might take a while,” Jaehwan said, using the little blood he’d gotten from Hongbin’s face to fuel his spell. “You can keep talking as I work.”

Hongbin weakly nodded, barely registering that Hakyeon had produced a waterskin, which he was now pressing to his lips. He gladly accepted the drink, taking large gulps of water before giving it back to Hakyeon.

“Thank you,” he said, voice husky from the strain, the exertion. He could feel Jaehwan’s magic on him, setting his bones back together, mending the cuts on his skin. It felt warm. He wanted to sleep.

Later. He would sleep later.

“Binnie? What happened after that?” Hakyeon gently asked him.

“I decided that I couldn’t let them hurt you. Any of you,” Hongbin continued his tale. It was hard to focus, but he would be able to rest soon. “My plan was to give them the jewel and the map, hoping it would distract them from you. The chance was slim, but I had to try.”

“You should have told us,” Taekwoon spoke for the first time; Hongbin didn’t realize how he’d missed that soft voice of his.

“I couldn’t. The less you knew, the safest you would be,” Hongbin replied. “That was my primary goal - distract them from you. It didn’t work. They wanted you all dead anyway, so I— I killed the Knight-Commander.”

“Knight-Commander Choi? You killed him?” Wonshik questioned, skeptical, and Hongbin nodded in response.

“Yes. Broke his neck. Then I tried to kill the Harbinger,” Hongbin said and chuckled bitterly to himself. “That didn’t work. It just made him angry.”

“So you jumped from a tower?” Jaehwan concluded with a sigh. “You’re stark raving mad.”

“It was either that or explode like a meat balloon, I’ve seen you do it to other people and I don’t want it for myself, thank you.”

“That’s fair.”

“And there’s one more thing,” Hongbin said, and with his left hand fished the jewel from his pocket, offering it to Taekwoon. “I got this back, at least.”

Taekwoon frowned suspiciously at him but took the jewel regardless. “Thank you.”

“Who is the Harbinger?” Sanghyuk asked with an edge of urgency to his tone. “Is it Seungho?”

Hongbin nodded to agree. “Yes. Yes, it is him.”

“That backstabbing roach, I’ll  _ kill him _ ,” Sanghyuk almost growled the words, and Jaehwan shot him a sideways glare.

“As hot as you may look when you’re worked up,  _ calm down _ .”

“But Jyani—”

“Calm the fuck down or I’ll calm you down myself, don’t try me.”

Sanghyuk huffed and crossed his arms, sulking like a brat. “Fine.”

“You big baby,” Jaehwan teased, and after a few seconds declared, “There, all patched up.”

Hongbin blinked himself out of the mild daze he’d fallen into and rolled his right shoulder, finding that it didn’t hurt anymore to move. It was still sore, the flesh that had been bruised a little tender, but that was nothing compared to how painful it had been just minutes before. His broken nose had been mended as well, he found as he tried to move it. 

“Thank you, Jaehwan.”

“Don’t mention it,” Jaehwan grinned. “I’ll get you a tonic for a little pick-me-up, you’re dehydrated.”

“Hold on just a second,” Wonshik said, loud and sudden. “You’re just going to— Accept that he’s back? After everything he’s done?”

“Wonshik—” Hakyeon started, but Wonshik interrupted him.

“No! He lied to us! He tricked us, he stole from us, he—” Wonshik stopped himself, and Hongbin got up from the crate to approach him.

“Wonshik, I—”

“Don’t come near me or I swear by the Maker’s name I’ll break both your arms.”

Hongbin stopped, the words hitting him like a punch to the face. He deserved it. He knew so. He only lowered his head.

“Alright.”

“Oh for— You think I’ll fall for that again?” Wonshik scoffed, shaking his head. “Fuck you, Hongbin.”

“I know you’re angry, and you have the right to be,” Hongbin said, careful. “I know I hurt you, but I—”

He couldn’t finish his sentence because Wonshik suddenly grabbed him by the collar and yanked him forward, almost causing him to lose his balance. “You don’t know shit about me.”

Wonshik hissed the words right at his face, and it hurt like he had just stabbed him. He deserved it. Deserved it all.

“You’re right, I’m sorry.”

“What— Fucking fight back, you coward!” Wonshik shook him as he made his demand, but Hongbin remained unresponsive. Wonshik could do whatever he wanted to him. Beat him, yell at him, curse him. Hongbin deserved it.

“Wonshik, let him go!” Hakyeon said, putting himself between them to force Wonshik to drop Hongbin’s collar. “What’s the matter with you, this is not the way to solve anything!”

“How can you defend him after what he did!?” Wonshik shouted, no longer caring about anything but his anger. Hongbin kept his head low.

“How can you not defend him after what he did!?” Hakyeon threw back. “He almost died to keep us safe! His methods might not have been the best, but his intentions were—”

“Shove his intentions!” Wonshik yelled at Hakyeon, who flinched and shut his mouth with an audible  _ pop _ . “He was lying from the very start, and it wasn’t for our benefit, it was all for him! Because he’s a selfish bastard who doesn’t give a shit about anyone or anything that doesn’t suit his fancy!”

“Wonshik, that's not fair,” Hakyeon said, the picture of composure where Wonshik was a hurricane of emotion.

“Fair? How dare you use ‘fair' as an argument in his favor?” Wonshik scoffed and shook his head, taking a couple steps backwards. “Nothing he did was ‘fair’.”

“Maybe so, but—”

“Don’t,” Wonshik warned, one hand raised to stop Hakyeon from talking. “I’m not going to stand here and listen to you defend him like he’s a fucking saint.”

“I’m not saying he didn’t do anything wrong! He did! He fucked up!” Hakyeon finally began losing his composure, his voice higher in volume. “He tricked us and lied to us, but he came  _ back _ .”

“And who’s to say he didn’t come back just finish the job!? He might as well be here to kill us for the cultists!”

“I’m not,” Hongbin immediately said, shaking his head. “I’m not. I’m done, I— I don’t want that life anymore.”

“How fucking noble of you,” Wonshik said, venomous. “A shame that you made that decision a few months too late.”

“Wonshik, I—”

“ _ Don’t _ ,” he warned again, before turning around and stomping his way out of the warehouse. Hongbin didn’t think twice and followed him, hearing Taekwoon’s voice saying ‘ _ let them go’ _ somewhere behind him.

Hongbin didn’t know what going after an upset Wonshik would achieve, but he had to try. He had to tell him, he had to know. Even if he didn’t believe him.

 

✶✶✶

 

Wonshik barreled out the door and kept walking to whatever direction his feet were taking him, the jumbled emotions warring in his chest too overwhelming for him to be able to think properly, get to any coherent conclusions. 

Hongbin was back. He was back and Wonshik didn’t know what to make of it.

They were right back at square one, when he didn’t trust Hongbin, when Hongbin was a complete stranger to him after once having been the one he knew the most. He didn’t know how he should feel about it all, didn’t know if he should be angry or sad or happy. Despite everything, despite all the hurt, he missed Hongbin dearly - he loved Hongbin, loved him so much it physically hurt, and that was perhaps the worst part of it all. He couldn’t hate him, not entirely, because a part of him, the stupid, naive, hopeless romantic part of him would always be in love with Hongbin. He loved him, and it made him angry, not only at Hongbin, but at himself. He was so stupid, so dumb to believe Hongbin would ever change, and even more stupid because he still wanted to hope this time was different.

He hated that Hongbin’s story made sense, that it filled in the blanks so perfectly. He hated that he seemed genuinely apologetic. He hated that he’d come back, because it made him so happy, so full of hope. He didn’t know what he should think, what he should do about it.

He’d been burned twice already. It would be madness to let himself be burned a third time, and yet—

“Wonshik!” Hongbin’s voice called from a ways behind him. Wonshik didn’t turn around.

“Go away, Hongbin.”

“Wonshik, please, let me—”

“No, just do what you do best and leave me alone,” Wonshik said over his shoulder just as he turned a corner. He stopped soon after when he found himself in a dead-end street, cursing under his breath once he turned around and found Hongbin blocking the only exit. “Move.”

“Wonshik, I just need you to listen,” Hongbin said, pleaded, as he took a few tentative steps forward. Wonshik moved back, maintaining their distance, and Hongbin took the hint and stopped approaching. Good. “I know I fucked up, I’m the first one to admit it, what I did was awful and I understand if you hate me now, but— I couldn’t see another way out, and I—”

“No, fuck you, Hongbin,” Wonshik spat the words, his voice echoing on the walls of the narrow alley. “You could have been fucking honest from the start, have you thought about that!? I bet you haven’t, being honest is apparently a foreign concept to you.”

“I was scared! I had just met you again after years, you have no idea how scared I was that you would push me away.”

“I can understand being scared, but you continued to lie to me anyway, even after you promised you wouldn’t lie to me anymore!” Wonshik’s voice broke at the end of the sentence. He didn’t want to cry, didn’t want to show weakness, not to Hongbin. “You lied about everything!”

“No, not everything,” Hongbin said, shaking his head as if that would convince him. “Not a moment I spent with you was a lie, us— It was never a lie.”

“Then why did you leave!?” Wonshik demanded, eyes becoming wet with tears that were trying desperately to fall. “Was I not a good enough fuck for you, is that it!?”

“What— No, that’s not it at all!” Hongbin took a step forward, wanting to come closer, but Wonshik stepped back again. Hongbin stopped moving. “I never meant to go that far that night, but I— I was selfish, and I know not all the apologies in the world will be enough, but I am  _ so _ sorry that I hurt you like that.”

“Oh, you didn’t mean to go that far, but you had everything you needed to make it happen just lying around, didn’t you?” Wonshik threw back, but Hongbin didn’t react.

“I did it because I didn’t expect to ever see you again!” Hongbin said, voice breaking, eyes shiny with tears. “If my plan had worked, I would— I would never come back. It was selfish, I admit that it was selfish, but I— I couldn’t help it, I wanted you so bad and it was my last chance, I—”

“What do you mean you would never come back?”

“I told you, my plan was to get the cultists distracted with the jewel,” Hongbin said, wiping a stray tear with his sleeve, smudging the blood that was still covering his face even further up his cheek. “I was going to stick around with them, to make sure they wouldn’t go after you. And if that didn’t work— I didn’t think I would survive.”

Wonshik scoffed. “Right. Very heroic of you.”

“I’m not a hero. I know I’m not,” Hongbin said, pink tongue poking out to wet his dry lips. “I was just trying to fix my mistakes, and I hate that you got hurt because of it.”

“Spare me your excuses, you can’t honestly think I’ll believe you now.”

“Well, it’s the truth,” Hongbin said, shrugging, a defeated smile on his lips. “I have no more aces up my sleeves, and I have nothing else to lose. I didn’t come back expecting to be welcome.”

“Then what do you want from me?” Wonshik asked, voice weak, hands shaking.

“Nothing. I want nothing from you,” Hongbin responded, head low, arms wrapped defensively around his middle. “I just— I wanted to say… It was never a lie. When I said I loved you, I— It wasn’t a lie. It isn’t a lie.”

That was worse than being pierced through the heart with a blade. Wonshik closed his eyes tight, as if that would be enough to keep the tears from falling, and shook his head to reject those words. It wasn’t fair. It was just not fair.

“Don’t— Don’t say that. Not now, not—”

“Please, bun— Wonshik,” Hongbin caught himself before calling him ‘bunny’, and Wonshik had to swallow down a pained whimper. “It’s the truth, I love you, that was never a lie.”

“Stop.”

“I know you probably hate me now, and you’re right. I don’t deserve anything other than that, I deserve to be loathed by you,” Hongbin said, desperate, voice thick with sadness and determination. “I always loved you. Always. And I always will, and that— I could never lie about that.”

“Shut up. Shut up, stop talking,” Wonshik pleaded, grabbing at his hair with both hands like that would do him any good. “You have no right to tell me that now, you—”

“I know, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, I’m sorry for everything,” Hongbin continued, a hiccup escaping his lips, more tears escaping his eyes. Crocodile tears, certainly, certainly— “I know I have no right to ask for forgiveness and I don’t expect anything from you, but— I am sorry, I am  _ so  _ sorry—”

“Fuck you, Hongbin,” Wonshik murmured, head low, but Hongbin stopped talking immediately as if he had shouted.

After a moment, Hongbin spoke again. “Alright. I— I’ll go. I’m seeing this through, though. I’m staying with you and the others until this is all over, but after that… I’ll leave you alone, for good. You’ll never have to see me again.”

Heavy, thick silence fell over them, the seconds ticking by for what felt like an eternity before he heard Hongbin’s footsteps retreating back the way they’d come, and Wonshik was left alone in that narrow dark alley, alone because Hongbin left and would leave again, like he always did, like he would always do.

Wonshik crouched down on the floor and finally allowed his tears to fall.

 

✶


	27. Draconamatris

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm not happy with this chapter, but i still hope you all enjoy it :(
> 
> also, the comments are now set to 'moderated' to avoid spoilers, so... just a heads up lol
> 
> enjoy!💕

✶

 

The sun wasn’t even out when they left the village, having had only a couple hours of sleep before they set off. Wonshik hadn’t slept at all, too busy tossing and turning and staring angrily at the ceiling to manage to fall asleep.

His mind was still reeling with Hongbin’s return, his unresolved feelings, his concern for Hongbin’s well-being - Hongbin looked ill, frail in a way he’d never seen him before, and the part of him that was still hopelessly in love with Hongbin was worried. He wanted to cradle him in his arms like a child and at the same time, he wanted to punch him in the face. It was too much. It felt like too much.

Jaehwan and Sanghyuk were seemingly the only ones in a good mood when they set out, riding Jaehwan’s bronto together and giggling amidst their whispered conversation. Hakyeon was riding with Hongbin since their brontos were only three now and they all knew putting Hongbin and Wonshik together would not end well. So that left him with Taekwoon as his bronto partner. He liked Taekwoon - had spent a lot of quiet moments with him, always felt at ease around him, so maybe that was the best possible partner he could have ended up with.

They were riding a bit further back than the others, an obvious deliberate choice by Taekwoon, and Wonshik was grateful for it. He didn’t feel like being part of small talk. He was tired, of body and of mind.

Taekwoon was quiet, quiet in a way that wasn’t awkward, but soothing. That’s what Wonshik needed.

“Can I rest my head on your back?” Wonshik asked, and Taekwoon, sitting in front of him, turned his head to give him attention. “I didn’t sleep much last night.”

Taekwoon hummed, frowning for a moment as he seemed to ponder over the request before he pulled the reigns to stop the bronto. Once the beast stopped, Taekwoon deftly hopped off and motioned for Wonshik to take his place on the front part of the saddle, which he did even if the request confused him.

Once he was all settled on the front, Taekwoon mounted the bronto again, this time where Wonshik had been sitting, and grabbing the reigns again around Wonshik’s body, Taekwoon said, “This way if you fall asleep I can hold you so you don’t fall off.”

Wonshik blinked, a flash of jealousy crossing his mind - Hakyeon was  _ so  _ lucky to have landed someone so caring like Taekwoon - and with a short nod he settled against Taekwoon’s front, the bronto moving again.

“How are you feeling?” Taekwoon asked softly. “About Hongbin.”

Wonshik sighed, the motion of the bronto combined with the warmth of Taekwoon’s body working like a charm to help him relax. Maybe he’d get some shut-eye after all. “I don’t know. I’m so— I’m angry at him, but at the same time I’m glad he’s back. I wish I could just be happy, but— I can’t trust him.”

“What of the story he told us last night? His reasons?”

“For what it’s worth,” Wonshik started, slow, careful, choosing his words, “I believe him. I spent the whole night thinking about it, turning it over and over in my head, and I— I’ve never seen him like that, so… Raw.” Wonshik paused to take a deep breath, tipping his head back so it was resting on Taekwoon’s shoulder. “Hongbin is— He hides behind his smirks and his wit, he’s always holding back his real thoughts and emotions but… That day he drowned, when he almost died— The look in his eyes was raw too, his reaction was visceral and honest, and last night… It was so much more. He was never more honest in his life than he was last night.”

“And it bothers you,” Taekwoon said, not a question but a conclusion.

Wonshik hummed in confirmation, “It does. I believe him, and I believe his intentions were good, but— He still did what he did. He left. He left me to believe he had used me and had never loved me, knowing how much that would hurt me.” He scoffed, looking up at the still dark sky, the fading stars. “And he didn’t plan on coming back. I would never— Never have closure. He did what he did knowing all of that, and that’s what makes it so bad.”

“Do you think he’ll do it again?”

“That’s the thing,” Wonshik said with a long sigh, “I don’t know. He might, if it suits his mood. Hongbin was always like that, always did what he pleased even when we were children. If he decides to backstab us again, he will.”

“That’s not what I meant,” Taekwoon muttered. “Do you think he’ll leave again?”

“I already know he will.”

“How so?”

“He told me.”

Taekwoon was quiet for a moment, likely turning over the information in his head. “I think the question this time is,” he finally said, slow, cautious, “do you  _ want _ him to go?”

“I—”

“You don’t have to answer me,” Taekwoon interrupted. “This is something you should ask yourself.”

Wonshik didn’t know how to answer that, so he decided to turn the subject onto Taekwoon. “For someone who spent so many years alone, you sure know how to give relationship advice.”

“It’s Hakyeon’s influence,” Taekwoon replied, cheeky. “Sleep. I’ll wake you up when we arrive.”

“I’ll try,” Wonshik said, resigned, and shifted slightly to get more comfortable. “Not sure I’ll be able to, though.”

“I’ll make sure you don’t dream, if that helps.”

Wonshik smiled softly to himself and nodded. “It does.”

Taekwoon fell silent after that and Wonshik tried to follow his advice and get some sleep. Relaxed as he was, sleep still took a while to come - eventually, though, it did. Like Taekwoon had promised, he didn’t dream; his sleep was quiet and peaceful, only the bliss of unconsciousness that finally allowed him to get some rest.

When he next woke up, the air felt different - lighter. It smelled like salt, and while the winds of winter were always cold, the air there felt fresh in a different way. He opened his eyes to a clear blue sky and the cries of seagulls... and a mouthful of Taekwoon’s hair.

Wonshik spluttered, using his hands to push the hair off his face, Taekwoon’s laughter soft next to his ear.

“Sorry, did I wake you?”

Wonshik shook his head, rubbing his eyes with his fists. “No, it’s ok.”

“Then you woke up just in time,” Taekwoon said, and motioned with head to indicate something to Wonshik. “We’re here.”

Wonshik blinked, vision still a little blurred from sleep, but once he looked up all other thoughts were wiped from his mind.

The ocean. He could see the ocean.

He’d heard tales and seen paintings, but the real thing— It was beautiful. Blue and vast, larger than he could possibly fathom, and he could finally understand Hakyeon’s fascination with the sea. He felt small in front of it, and even if still far away, Wonshik found himself overcome with emotion.

He wanted to see it from up close.

Wonshik was transfixed by the sight of the ocean, when he felt like he was being watched. Turning his gaze away from the sea, Wonshik’s eyes immediately fell on Hongbin and indeed, he was the one watching him. They stared at each other for a moment, Wonshik unsure of what to even feel - anger, joy? - when Hongbin, looking sad, despondent, broke the eye contact first.

Wonshik tried to pretend he didn’t feel anything.

 

✶✶✶

 

For all that Cumberland was a coastal town, it was nothing like one - it was grand and well kept, with high buildings and winding roads lined with pebbles and seashells, colorful and bright and welcoming. Taekwoon had never been to Cumberland before, and he found that he quite liked it there.

Hakyeon was buzzing with excitement, and so was Jaehwan, while Sanghyuk and Hongbin remained mostly indifferent. Wonshik, on the other hand, was— Stunned.

He barely uttered a word as they rode their brontos into town, heading to the docks - Hakyeon said he knew a place where the brontos could stay, so the plan was to drop the beasts there and head to Hakyeon’s place on foot. Wonshik didn’t argue; his fight had dimmed since the first shock of Hongbin’s return, and while he clearly was against Hongbin’s presence, he seemed to have accepted that he wouldn’t go anywhere before they had finished their quest. A mutinous sort of acceptance. If that was even a thing.

It was still better than the numbness he’d been displaying a couple days earlier.

It was high afternoon when they finally reached Hakyeon’s apartment, located in a quiet, cute little neighborhood not too far from the city’s central hub where the market square and the College of Magi sat. After all they had been through, that place felt— Surreal. Colorful flowers everywhere, children running around and playing, and just… Peace. It was a good change.

Hakyeon led them to a five-story building made of white bricks, everything very clean and well kept, not a hint of disturbance; they climbed the stairs up to the fourth floor, and Taekwoon took deep, subtle breaths to calm his nerves. In that peace, he felt oddly anxious.

“It’s not much,” Hakyeon said as he unlocked the door to his place, “but it’s clean.”

He pushed the door open, revealing a small but comfortable living area, littered here and there by numerous vases and pots with wilted flowers and plants. The furniture was of light wood, all very simple, and on the shelves, Taekwoon could spot a fair amount of Hakyeon’s beloved romance novels.

“No, the poor babies!” Hakyeon exclaimed as he rushed over to the nearest flower pot. “I’m sorry, I didn’t think I’d be gone so long!”

“Babies?” Sanghyuk echoed, then turned to Taekwoon with a cheeky smile and said, “Congrats, it looks like you’re a dad now!”

Taekwoon simply rolled his eyes, not offering any other response, before entering Hakyeon’s apartment sheepishly, looking around with open curiosity. Jaehwan rushed inside and went to join Hakyeon.

“Don’t worry, I can make you a potion that will make your plants good as new!” he said, leaning over to take a better look at the plants.

“Really? Thank you!” Hakyeon said, beaming, before turning around slightly to say to the rest of them, “Feel free to explore, my home is your home.”

“Well, I’ve seen it before, so I’ll just make myself comfortable,” Hongbin said, beelining straight to the nearest armchair and flopping ungracefully on it.

While Sanghyuk and Wonshik easily moved from the entrance to the living room, Taekwoon still stood there for a few moments longer, awkward as awkward could be, feeling out of place and anxious. That was Hakyeon home. That was where he lived, it was— It was Hakyeon’s space, and while Hakyeon had told him he was welcome there, Taekwoon felt like he was trespassing. Overstepping.

Hesitantly, he took a few steps into the apartment, fidgeting where he stood for a few seconds before sitting on the couch, pressed as close as he could to the armrest in a feeble attempt at making himself look smaller. He didn’t know why he was so nervous, didn’t know what was wrong, he just felt— He felt like an intruder.

He had gotten used to staying at inns during the months he traveled with the others, but— This was different. He didn’t know how he should act there. Hakyeon said he wanted it to be  _ their _ home, but ultimately, he was a stranger in a strange place. He didn’t belong there, with Hakyeon’s adorable plants and cream-colored furniture, he— There was no place where he belonged.

The shock of that realization made him feel ill.

“Hey,” Hongbin asked in a hushed voice, starling Taekwoon away from his depressive thoughts, “you alright?”

Taekwoon jerkily nodded in response, averting his gaze to the ground, “Yes. Fine.”

Hongbin gave him a look, that look of his that said he knew you were full of shit and he was about to point it out to you, “Right. You sure look fine, trying to become one with the couch.”

Taekwoon felt his face heat up, but the shame only made him try to sink deeper into the cushions. Hongbin sighed.

“Come on, I’ll give you a tour,” Hongbin said, motioning with his head as he got up, and Taekwoon didn’t argue; he followed him. Whatever Hongbin had in mind was certainly better than sitting there, feeling inadequate.

Hongbin guided Taekwoon to a door to the left, which turned out to lead into the kitchen. That room was also decorated with light colored furniture, all very clean, but also welcoming in a way, cozy. Very Hakyeon.

Hongbin walked towards the window on the far side of the room and motioned for Taekwoon to come closer. He did, again, not in the right mind to object.

“Alright, what’s up?”

Hongbin’s question had Taekwoon frowning quizzically and tilting his head like a confused puppy. Hongbin stared at him for a moment and sighed.

“Look, I know you and I are not—  _ Friends _ ,” Hongbin said, “we haven’t talked much at all, and usually that’s how I like it. But you’re important to Hakyeon and Hakyeon is important to me, so this might be a good place to start as any.”

Taekwoon could agree with that, at least. With a short exhalation, he started, “I’m— I don’t think I should be here.”

“Why not?”

He rolled one shoulder in a half-hearted shrug, looking at the view outside the window. It was nice - he could see a little bit of the ocean beyond the rooftops.  “It feels like I’m invading Hakyeon’s life.”

“It isn’t an invasion if you have the permission to enter,” Hongbin smartly pointed out, “and you know you have that permission, so what is it really about?”

“I— I don’t know,” Taekwoon murmured, lowering his eyes to the clean wooden floor of Hakyeon’s kitchen. “I feel… Burdensome.”

It wasn’t too far off at least - his entire life, Taekwoon felt like an inconvenience to everyone. He’d been on his own for long enough that he hadn’t experienced that feeling in a while, not until Hakyeon. Now he was there, with him, in his home, and all of those old, terrible feelings came back to him, resurfacing from the depths of the ocean of his conscience.

“Burdensome?” Hongbin echoed, a thoughtful scowl on his face. “You think you are burdening Hakyeon?”

Taekwoon only nodded as a response, unsure if he was able to speak it out loud. He was wrong, and logically he knew he was wrong, but those feelings persisted.

Hongbin sighed, looking outside for a moment before turning to Taekwoon again and saying, “Look, as I said, we’re not friends, I don’t know you and you don’t know me, but I know people. And I know Hakyeon.” There was a pause where Hongbin only stared at Taekwoon, eyes level with his own, as if searching for something. He couldn’t fathom what that could be. “Hakyeon loves you and he wants you here. I honestly don’t know what he sees in you, you stare too much and that bugs me, but Hakyeon is head over heels about you. I don’t think I’ve ever seen him this happy with someone, and I’ve seen him with his ex-boyfriend. I used to think that was what love was supposed to look like, but you— Damn, you took that crown right out of Wongeun’s head.”

Taekwoon licked his bottom lip nervously, eyes darting around the floor. Whenever Hakyeon’s former lover was brought up, Taekwoon felt like something inside of him was cracking, like a chink on a sheet of glass. It starts small, but it grows longer and longer until one soft tap is enough to break it apart. He didn’t know what would happen once he broke apart.

“The way Hakyeon looks at you… He would do anything for you,” Hongbin concluded.

“I would do anything for him, too.”

“And you still feel burdensome?”

“He said he wants us to live together here once this is all over,” Taekwoon revealed, looking around the kitchen, trying to picture himself going there for meals every day. He never had a home, not like that, never lived inside a house, much less an apartment. All he knew were aravels and tents, makeshift shelters on top of trees and caves, not— Not a house.

Hongbin chuckled through his nose, obviously seeing where Taekwoon was getting at. “Of course. I suppose it must be very strange for a wood elf such as yourself to adapt to the trappings of the civilized world.” The words were said in a teasing manner, but Taekwoon couldn’t tell if it was a lighthearted teasing or not. He decided to ignore it. “I hope you’re not thinking of leaving him.”

That shocked Taekwoon like being suddenly slapped in the face. “No! That didn’t cross my mind for a second!”

“Good. My take on it is, give it a couple of days. Spend time with Hakyeon in here, play house. If you still feel you’re trespassing, talk to him.”

Taekwoon nodded and took a deep breath. That was— actually very good advice. “I will. Thank you.”

“Don’t mention it,” Hongbin mumbled, gaze moving towards the window again. Taekwoon watched him for a moment, pondering whether or not he should say something, but he figured that, if Hongbin was willing to give him advice, then it was only fair that he gave him some as well.

“He missed you.”

Hongbin looked back at him with a bemused expression. “Hm? Hakyeon?”

“Wonshik.”

Hongbin pursed his mouth and ducked his head, but not fast enough to hide the pain in his eyes. “It doesn’t matter.”

“I think it does,” Taekwoon responded. “The morning after you left— I’d never seen that much pain before. Feelings so strong… It will take him a while to heal. He does love you, though.”

Hongbin scoffed and shook his head, ran a shaky hand through his hair and looked outside again. His eyes were wet. “I hope he doesn’t. And if he does… I hope he stops.”

“I don’t think he will.”

“Taekwoon… Don’t give me hope,” Hongbin muttered, a faraway gaze in his eyes. “I don’t expect anything from Wonshik anymore. All I want is for him to be safe and find happiness, and I know I’ll never be the one to give it to him. I’m too… Too rotten.”

“Mm, maybe,” Taekwoon replied, “but not entirely. You came back.”

Hongbin looked at him as if he’d just noticed Taekwoon was standing there, confused and a little startled. Before any of them could say anything else, they heard footsteps approaching and turned to face the newcomer.

“What are you two doing cooped up in here?” Hakyeon asked, smiling wide as he entered the kitchen. “Are you two becoming friends? Say yes.”

“I was just showing your boyfriend the view,” Hongbin said, easily slipping his ‘everything is fine’ mask on and smiling. “Why don’t you show him your bedroom? It’s where you’ll spend most of your time anyway.”

“Binnie!” Hakyeon chided, clucking his tongue before coming over to grab Taekwoon by the hand. “Don’t make my Taekwoonie uncomfortable.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it,” Hongbin’s smile widened.

“Come on, I’ll show you the rest of the apartment.”

Taekwoon couldn’t say no to that as Hakyeon immediately began pulling him towards the door. Taekwoon only had time to glance back at Hongbin one last time, their eyes meeting and a thousand words being exchanged in that split second. Hongbin’s insecurities, Taekwoon’s insecurities, their hopes and regrets - Taekwoon certainly felt much closer to Hongbin now than he did five minutes earlier.

Hakyeon guided him back to the living room, where Wonshik was browsing Hakyeon’s books on the shelf, and Sanghyuk and Jaehwan were talking by the plants. They didn’t linger there, Hakyeon pulling him to a little hallway where two closed doors were. Hakyeon opened the door to their left first.

“This is the bathroom,” he announced, gesturing into the room that was just as clean and welcoming as the rest of the house. Taekwoon’s attention was drawn to the large tub sitting in the middle of the bathroom, oval in shape and made of copper. Hakyeon noticed his line of sight and grinned. “I can prepare you a bath later. I have a lot of bath salts.”

Taekwoon averted his gaze to the floor, aware he was blushing, and shook his head minutely. “N-no need, it’s ok.”

“But I want to! I want to spoil you a little bit, we’ve spent too long living without any comfort.”

Taekwoon pursed his lips. He didn’t want to point out that that life of no comfort was what Taekwoon was already used to, how he’d lived his whole life. Despite Hongbin’s advice, Taekwoon was only growing more aware of their differences, feeling more and more out of place.

“But this is for later, come here, I want to show you our bedroom,” Hakyeon said, chipper, clearly unaware of Taekwoon’s inner turmoil.

Hakyeon pulled him towards the second door, pushing it open with no ceremony and Taekwoon found himself in the coziest, most welcoming room in the apartment. He looked around in awe, taking in the soft scent of flowers, the plants sitting on the windowsill, the white curtains, the little bits of Hakyeon’s life scattered about - books, clothes, pieces of jewelry. It was almost a perfect reflection of Hakyeon’s personality, and while Taekwoon still felt extremely out of place, in the bedroom he felt less of an intruder.

“So, what do you think?” Hakyeon asked, hands on his hips and a big smile on his face. “It’s nothing much but it’s comfortable, right? I can open up some space in the closet for you, I was meaning to clean it out anyway. I have too many performance clothes stuffed in there.” Hakyeon rambled on, and Taekwoon found himself smiling, endeared by him. “You don’t own that many clothes, so I think we can make it all fit in there. You can put your weapons in that trunk at the foot of the bed, it’s where I keep my own weapons, I think there are about ten pairs of daggers in there. A few knives too. They’re mostly from my raider days, I should probably give them away. Maybe you can find something you like in there?”

“Mm, maybe,” Taekwoon mumbled, and his voice seemed to break Hakyeon from his blabber spell, for he stopped talking and turned to him.

“Come here, let’s sit on our bed,” Hakyeon said, pulling Taekwoon by the hand towards the bed without waiting for a reply.

They sat side by side, Hakyeon completely at ease and Taekwoon tense as a violin string. Taekwoon was torn between wanting to run and wanting to stay right there with Hakyeon, but Hakyeon decided for him once he reached out to hold his hand, looking at him with so much love Taekwoon felt bad for feeling the way he did.

“I’m so happy you’re here,” Hakyeon said, snuggling closer to Taekwoon and resting his head on his shoulder. “I know it will take some getting used to, but I think we’ll be happy here. I mean, until we get a bigger place somewhere.”

“You don’t have to get a bigger place,” Taekwoon said quietly, squeezing Hakyeon’s hand as if he needed that contact to keep himself from cracking. “Your apartment is very nice.”

“ _ Our _ apartment. It’s yours too.” 

Taekwoon swallowed, but was unable to get rid of the lump that formed in his throat. “Right.”

“And we’re sitting on  _ our _ bed in  _ our _ room,” Hakyeon continued. Taekwoon closed his eyes and willed his feelings to recede. “I’m happy. You make me so happy.”

Taekwoon pulled Hakyeon to a tight hug, face burrowed into the crook of his neck to let his scent soothe his nerves. All he had to do was play house, just like Hongbin said. Just play house. His discomfort was nothing in the face of Hakyeon’s happiness.

 

✶✶✶

 

Once they were properly settled at Hakyeon’s place, they easily split into three groups to each see to a specific need: Wonshik and Taekwoon were in charge of buying food and other supplies at the market, since Hakyeon’s apartment was as good as empty of anything edible; Hongbin and Hakyeon went to the docks to send word to their contacts, people from Hakyeon’s raider days that could give them a ride to wherever the jewel was pointing them too; and Jaehwan and Sanghyuk made their way to the College of Magi to look for Jaehwan’s old friends and colleagues, and hopefully make use of the large collection of books and documents archived there.

And also because Jaehwan was dying to see the place he’d once called home again.

The building that housed it sat right in the middle of the town, almost a palace that sprouted out from the ground with its high towers and coral-colored walls, grand and welcoming. Jaehwan had always loved the College of Magi. His years as a student there had been some of the best years of his life.

Back then he would have gone around the building, through the side door that led to the private quarters of the mages who resided there, but today he wasn’t there as a tenant, he was there as a visitor. So instead he walked straight forward, up the marble stairs and through the large double doors, open to whoever had a mind to enter. Sanghyuk kept step with him, half of his face hidden by bandages again to make it harder for him to be recognized, looking around with mild curiosity - he’d been there before, so it wasn’t exactly news.

Jaehwan smiled at the scent that greeted him once he crossed the entrance, the smell of candle wax, and old parchment, and ink, and—

“Jaehwan!” a voice called him back from his reverie, and Jaehwan turned to its source and immediately beamed.

“Junghwan!”

They ran to each other like children, arms wide open, and embraced as tight as they could, one trying to outsqueeze the other.

“What are you doing here, I thought you were all the way in Nevarra City being a big shot advisor!” Junghwan was basically bouncing, his brown hair cut in an adorable bowl shape swinging around with the movement. Jaehwan pinched his cheeks lovingly. 

“Will you believe me if I say I came here to see this precious face?” Jaehwan cooed at Junghwan, who giggled like the big kid he was.

“No, but I appreciate you lying to me,” Junghwan grinned at him and sighed. “I missed you, Jae.”

“I’ve missed you too, duckling,” Jaehwan said and gave him a noisy kiss on the cheek, only then turning to Sanghyuk. “Hyogi! This is my bestest and oldest friend, Junghwan. Hwanie, this is Sanghyuk.”

Junghwan’s face went slack, his eyes wide. “Sanghyuk, as in— The  _ Prince _ ?”

Sanghyuk chuckled and shrugged, before bowing his head respectfully to Junghwan. “As far as titles go, I would rather you just call me Sanghyuk. It’s a pleasure to finally meet one of Jyani’s friends.”

Junghwan opened and closed his mouth like a dying fish for a few seconds before turning to Jaehwan, panic in his features. Jaehwan giggled.

“It’s fine, he’s not that amazing.”

“That’s not what you said last night,” Sanghyuk teased, and Jaehwan snorted.

“Stop, not in front of Hwanie!”

Junghwan’s eyes got even wider if that was possible, now looking from Jaehwan to Sanghyuk and back again to Jaehwan. “You— With the prince— You—”

Jaehwan sighed and gave his friend a pat on the shoulder. “Yes. We’re together. Breathe.”

“Oh wow. Ok. Alright. You’re… Dating the prince. That’s fine, that’s just fine,” Junghwan mumbled to himself, taking deep breath after deep breath. “Alright, I’m ok with that.”

“Sorry for dropping this on you so suddenly, but I couldn’t send word ahead,” Jaehwan said, grabbing both of Junghwan’s hands. “We’re here because… You see, we need your help.”

Junghwan frowned, his concern even more obvious in his features; his friend was never any good at hiding his emotions. “Help with what?”

Jaehwan looked around, taking note of the few people milling about, before leaning closer to Junghwan to whisper, “I can’t tell you here, anyone could be listening. And we can’t stay long, so— If you have any books on Old Gods, Ancient Tevene, Tevinter based cults, anything at all, can you please find it? We’re staying at a friend’s place, we can meet there later and I’ll explain everything.”

Junghwan stared at him for a moment longer, dumbfound, before nodding shakily and saying, “Y-yeah, I can find those for you. Is it serious? Is it— Dangerous?”

Jaehwan chewed on his lips for a moment, not wanting to alarm his friend but knowing he had to reveal just how serious the situation was. “Yes. Yes, it is.”

“Andraste’s shit-stained knickers,” Junghwan mumbled. “Ok, I’ll— I’ll get the books for you.”

“Thank you, Hwanie,” Jaehwan said, smiling, and took the piece of paper with the address to Hakyeon’s place from his pocket, handing it to Junghwan. “This is where we’re staying,  _ please _ , don’t lose it, don’t show it to anyone.”

“I won’t, I promise,” Junghwan said, earnest. Jaehwan gave his hands a little squeeze and turned to leave.

He stopped soon enough, though, and turned around again to ask in a small voice, “Hwanie… Is Jinnie here?”

Junghwan pursed his lips and lowered his head, silent for a few seconds. Jaehwan could feel Sanghyuk’s gaze on him, likely confused and questioning, but he would explain everything later.

Finally, Junghwan nodded. “Yeah, he’s— He’s right over here, this way.”

Jaehwan promptly followed Junghwan, Sanghyuk trailing after them despite his confusion, and Junghwan led them through a discreet side door that Jaehwan knew would lead to the service area and the kitchens. As they walked, Jaehwan took a series of deep breaths, trying to calm himself, trying not to overreact, not to break down. He already knew what was waiting for him. He knew so— It should be easier.

It wasn’t.

The moment his eyes fell on his old friend, just ahead on the corridor mopping the floor leisurely, Jaehwan almost burst into tears.

“Jinnie?”

Seokjin stopped mopping and raised his head, the brand of Tranquility glaring even in the poorly lit hallway. He had a mild smile on his face, the sort of empty smiles most Tranquil had on because they thought it made them seem less unsettling - it was the exact opposite, in fact. And seeing that look on his friend— It wasn’t right. It wasn’t right.

“Oh. Hello, Jaehwan. It has been some time,” Seokjin said, and Maker, even his voice sounded wrong. Empty, lifeless, just like his eyes, just like his smile.

“Hey, Jinnie,” Jaehwan said, taking a few steps closer to him even when all he wanted to do was run away. “How— How are you doing?”

“I am well. How have you been faring?”

Not even his words were right, Seokjin never spoke so formally, so slowly. Not back when— Back when he was still himself.

“I’ve been well,” Jaehwan answered, holding back tears. “Are you being treated well?”

“Yes. People are very cordial to me. Junghwan, especially, is very kind and helpful.”

Jaehwan looked over his shoulder, his eyes meeting Junghwan’s. His eyes were wet too.

Jaehwan turned again to Seokjin and tried to smile. “That’s really good to hear, Jinnie. I— I just wanted to see you, make sure you were well.”

“Thank you. That’s is very nice of you,” Seokjin said, neither his voice nor his expression changing. Jaehwan wanted to scream. “I now must attend to my duties. It was very nice to see you, Jaehwan.”

“R-right, of course, I’m sorry for keeping you.”

Jaehwan said, and on an impulse, lunged forward and gave Seokjin a tight hug.

Seokjin didn’t hug him back.

After a couple awkward seconds, Jaehwan let Seokjin go and promptly scurried away, back to where they’d come from, Sanghyuk and Junghwan on his heels.

“Jyani!” Sanghyuk called once they left the corridor and crossed the door back to the entrance hall of the building. “Jyani, are you alright?”

“I’m fine,” Jaehwan replied, shaky, but easily accepted Sanghyuk’s embrace, leaning against his chest and closing his eyes. “Just a little shaken.”

“I shouldn’t have let you see him,” Junghwan lamented, patting Jaehwan’s shoulder in an awkward attempt of soothing him. “I didn’t know it would bother you so much, I’m so sorry, Jyani.”

“It’s alright,” Jaehwan said and smiled to his friend, placing one hand on top of the one who sat on his shoulder. “I had to see him, I— I had to. Thank you, Hwanie.” Junghwan nodded in response, and Jaehwan decided it was time for them to go. He took a deep breath and stepped back, out of Sanghyuk’s arms, and asked, “See you later tonight?”

“Absolutely, I’ll go find the books you asked for right now,” Junghwan promised, and Jaehwan hugged him one last time before starting to head outside as Sanghyuk said a quick ‘it was a pleasure to meet you, see you later tonight’ to Junghwan.

Jaehwan’s hands were still trembling by the time they were outside and almost an entire block away from the College, and Sanghyuk wrapped one arm around Jaehwan’s shoulders to steady him upon noticing how affected he still was.

“Jyan, are you alright?”

“I’m fine, it’s—” Jaehwan muttered, “It’s just so awful to see Seokjin like that. He was always so bright and full of energy, and now he’s an empty husk and I— I don’t know how to feel about it.”

“Was he one of your friends from when you lived here?”

Jaehwan bit his lower lip, taking a moment to answer, “I’ll tell you more about Jinnie later, I don’t want to think about it right now.”

“Alright,” Sanghyuk easily granted. “How about we go to the market see if we can find Taekwoon and Wonshik? Maybe get some cake?”

Jaehwan smiled to himself; Sanghyuk certainly knew how to cheer him up.

“That sounds lovely.”

 

✶✶✶

 

Hongbin closed his eyes and inhaled a deep breath of fresh, salty ocean air. He remembered Hakyeon telling him once, a long time ago, that the ocean smelled like freedom; back then, he considered that to be just another of Hakyeon’s romanticized perceptions of the mundane, but standing there now, after everything he’d been through the past few months, he could admit even to himself that his friend’s words made absolute sense. Freedom. He was free. He felt free.

Sure, his friends didn’t really trust him anymore and there was an angry cult after him, but still, he was free.

Walking away from it all felt  _ good _ , the way it happened cathartic, and while he hadn’t been able to succeed in his original plan, he was alive and still had a chance of protecting the people he loved. That was all that kept him going.

Hakyeon had sent word out to his former Raider crew, estimating some two or three days to reach Cumberland as they were, luckily, not too far from Nevarra, and now they were just walking down the docks, Hongbin quiet and Hakyeon humming a tune next to him.

The docks in Cumberland. Where everything started.

Oh, the irony.

The realization made Hongbin chuckle to himself, catching Hakyeon’s attention. Still smiling, he said, “Were I a romantic, I would say that we have come full circle.”

“Well,  _ I _ am a romantic, and I say we have come full circle,” Hakyeon replied, understanding what he was talking about instantly. “Strange to think that this whole thing began and ended in Cumberland.”

“I wouldn’t say ‘ended’, it’s not over yet,” Hongbin wisely pointed out. 

“Maybe, but we’re very close to our last stop.”

“Let’s hope our last stop isn’t also our final destination,” he grimly said, and Hakyeon gave him a sideways glare.

“Don’t be so negative. We are all going to be alright and I’ll finally be able to focus on starting a life with Taekwoonie. We’ll have to go house-hunting, though.”

Hongbin watched his friend from the corners of his eyes for a moment, thinking of the conversation he had with Taekwoon earlier. Hakyeon seemed oblivious to the hesitance his boyfriend had been displaying - oblivious, or deliberately trying to ignore it.

“Yeonie,” Hongbin started, careful, compelled by a sense of duty to Taekwoon for— Whatever reason, “don’t you think you’re moving too fast?”

Hakyeon let out a heavy sigh and said, “Binnie, if this is about what we talked about in the Plains, I—”

“It isn’t. This is about Taekwoon being overwhelmed.”

Hakyeon’s sure footsteps faltered, his eyes widened, and he stopped walking entirely. Hongbin also stopped and turned to him. “Did he say something to you?”

Hongbin didn’t answer right away, weighing the pros and cons of breaching Taekwoon’s privacy, but he was doing this for the sake of both of them, so… “Yes. He did.”

“What did he say!?”

“I won’t tell you word for word, if you want details you’ll have to ask him yourself,” Hongbin warned, stern to make sure Hakyeon took him seriously. “All I’m going to tell you is, this is all new to him. You are literally planning an entire life with him without considering that what you have in mind will completely remove him from everything he’s ever known.”

Hakyeon brought one hand up to his chest and lowered his head, taking a few deep breaths as he processed those words. “I— Shit, you’re right. You’re completely right, I—  _ Fuck _ , I’ve been so happy that I didn’t even think, I have to apologize to Taekwoonie.”

“I think you two need to talk about your future together. From what I’ve seen, you’re the only one tossing ideas around.”

“I’ve noticed he’d been quiet ever since we arrived here, but I thought he was just nervous because it’s a place he doesn’t know,” Hakyeon scoffed to himself and shook his head after speaking. “I’m such an idiot, this makes so much sense.”

“Talk to him. You two will be fine.”

“I hope so, I feel like the worst boyfriend ever.”

Hongbin smiled to himself, bitter, and said, “Maybe second worst.”

Hakyeon’s expression dropped again and he groaned, “ _ Crap _ , I’m sorry, Binnie, I didn’t even think, I—”

“It’s alright,” Hongbin said, laughing, even though the laughter was a sad one. “I am already aware of my mistakes and general shittiness, pointing it out can’t make it any worse.”

“Still, I’m sorry. I know it’s been hard for you and Wonshik,” Hakyeon continued as they began walking again. “I don’t want to be insensitive about it, you don’t need any more salt rubbed on your wounds.”

“I deserve it,” Hongbin replied with a soft sigh. “Besides, it won’t be for long.”

Hakyeon stopped walking again and turned to face Hongbin. “What do you mean?”

Hongbin once more stopped walking so he could reply to his friend. “After this is over, I told Wonshik that I’ll get out of his life for good.”

“Binnie—”

“Unless he asks me otherwise, which he won’t, I’ve already decided,” Hongbin said, curt, before walking past Hakyeon to continue on his way back to the apartment. “I’ve done him enough damage, the best I can do for him is leave him alone.”

“But you love each other!” Hakyeon insisted, jogging to catch up to Hongbin. “Yes, you fucked up, but for a good reason!”

“The end doesn’t always justify the means, Yeonie,” he replied. “I fucked up, yes, but I did it knowing how much it would hurt him. I gambled everything and I lost, it’s just how things are.”

“So you’re just giving up on the love of your life!?”

“This is not one of your romance novels,” Hongbin told him, no malice in his voice, merely stating a fact. “Sometimes love just isn’t enough. I wish it was, but the world is— The world is an ugly place, Yeonie. It’s ugly and unfair and harsh, and love is not enough to spare me from the consequences of my actions. Everything I did, I did knowing that it would cost me everything, and you know the first rule of gambling.”

“Don’t bet anything you’re not prepared to lose, I know,” Hakyeon dejectedly responded. “I still believe you can work this out, I believe it with all my heart. Things are still very raw, it’s too soon to make any rational decisions, so if you give it some time for the dust to settle then—”

“No, Yeonie,” Hongbin shook his head as he whispered. “This is not up to me. I fucked up, it’s that simple. I apologized, I explained, I learned my lesson and I’m trying to help, and that’s all I can do. If Wonshik didn’t forgive me, I won’t beg him - it’s his right. I’ll keep my distance, do what I have to do to see this cultist business through, and then I’ll leave.”

“You’re more stubborn than a mule sometimes.”

“Like recognizes like, as I’ve been told.”

“Shut up,” Hakyeon said, more lighthearted now, and hit Hongbin’s side playfully with his elbow. “You know, when you left… I really thought for a second that our friendship had been a lie all along.”

“I couldn’t have faked being your friend for long, do you have any idea how annoying you are? You can’t fake this kind of affection.”

“Ignoring the fact that you just called me annoying,” Hakyeon said, glaring playfully at Hongbin from the corners of his eyes, “I love you too, Binnie.”

“See, now you made it weird.”

“Just say you love me.”

“Never.”

“Come on...”

“No.”

“It’s alright, you don’t have to say it out loud, your eyes tell me everything.”

“See? Annoying.”

 

✶✶✶

 

Sanghyuk closed his eyes and sighed happily, leaning back against the edge of Hakyeon’s copper bathtub. Jaehwan was resting against his chest, idly playing with his fingers, and the warm water around them gave him a sense of isolation. Just the two of them inside the tub, inside the bathroom, in the whole entire universe.

He was so comfortable, happy and sated in ways he never knew possible, and having Jaehwan there, in his arms, just quietly cuddling in a bathtub, was like existing in a tiny dimensional pocket of paradise; Sanghyuk almost wanted to stay there forever, but judging from the temperature of the water and how their fingers were pruning, they would have to get out soon. Not at that exact moment, though. 

“I’ll have to ask Hakyeon where he buys his bath salts, these are so great,” Jaehwan mumbled, close to slurring his words so relaxed he was. Sanghyuk smiled to himself and hummed to agree. “Though knowing him, I bet he makes his own salts. He can do everything, it’s so annoying.”

Laughter bubbled out of Sanghyuk’s mouth at Jaehwan’s comment. “I’m actually inclined to agree.”

“I’ll have to ask him to teach me,” Jaehwan continued. “I’ll make our own bath salts and I’ll enchant them to make the water stay warm for longer.”

“I love it when you talk in future tense about us,” Sanghyuk said, placing a series of kisses on Jaehwan’s shoulder, which made him giggle.

“You do?”

“Of course I do, it means you plan on being with me for a while.”

“At least eight years,” Jaehwan replied, face turning the slightest bit so Sanghyuk could kiss him on the lips. “We have to make up for all the time we knew each other but misunderstood our feelings and actions for being stupid.”

“You’re absolutely right,” Sanghyuk, once again, agreed. “You still flinch when I touch you sometimes, though.”

“It’s a reflex! I can’t get rid of years of training in a matter of a few days,” Jaehwan complained in his whiny voice and Sanghyuk chuckled, giving him a long kiss on the check.

“I’m teasing you.”

“Worst boyfriend ever,” Jaehwan said, immediately snuggling closer to Sanghyuk in a way that almost contradicted his statement. In a quieter, shy voice, he asked, “I didn’t hurt you earlier, right?”

“No,” Sanghyuk immediately replied, hoping to soothe Jaehwan’s worries - while it did sting a little when he moved, it was nothing too bad, nothing beyond what was expected. “Not at all, Jyani, you were very careful.”

“I tried to be.”

“You did great, I promise,” he said and pressed a kiss to Jaehwan’s temple. After a moment that was spent mostly gathering his nerve, Sanghyuk asked, “Jyani, who was that Tranquil we saw today?”

Jaehwan didn’t answer him right away, a few seconds ticking by with only the sound of water filling in the silence. Finally, Jaehwan spoke, “That was Seokjin. He was one of my best friends when I lived in the College, myself, Junghwan, Heeyeon and Seokjin were inseparable.” Another pause followed the words, and Sanghyuk decided not to interrupt, sensing that Jaehwan wasn’t quite done yet. “He was— He was my first. I never loved him, not really, not beyond the platonic, but we were curious kids and liked each other enough to do it. I’m not sure how he felt, but… I think he might have loved me.”

“Jyani—”

“We dated for about a month, though I use that word loosely. All we did was kiss sometimes,” Jaehwan continued, obviously wanting to be done talking about it. “After my Harrowing, we… You know. First time. He said it was to celebrate, but really, it was a mess, we had no idea what we were doing.” He laughed a little then, even if there was sadness hidden behind the sound. “Not long after I was summoned to be your advisor, and I— I didn’t even hesitate before taking that chance, and Seokjin… He was very hurt.”

Sanghyuk wrapped his arms around Jaehwan tight, wishing that was enough to keep him safe from sadness - but how could he ever keep Jaehwan safe from what was already inside of him? “I’m so sorry, Jyani.”

“A few years later I received a letter with the news Seokjin had been made Tranquil,” Jaehwan concluded his tale with a bitter chuckle. “I never got to tell him I was sorry and now it wouldn’t matter because he can’t feel anything.”

“Don’t beat yourself up,” Sanghyuk said, now rubbing Jaehwan’s arms gently like his mother used to do when he was little any time he was upset. He remembered it to be comforting, so maybe it would work on Jaehwan. “You couldn’t know it would turn out like this.”

“I know,” Jaehwan murmured and sniffled. “I know. But seeing him like that— He used to be so…  _ Alive _ , he was always playing and laughing, he used to be so loud, and now there’s nothing there. He’s… Empty.”

“I can’t imagine how frightening it must be to face what you could become,” Sanghyuk mused. Jaehwan merely nodded.

“Yes. Maybe in another life, that would have been me.”

“Not in this life. I won’t let it happen to you.”

“I know you won’t,” Jaehwan turned towards him as he spoke, as far as he could turn without dislodging himself from his position between Sanghyuk legs, and gave him a brief kiss on the cheek. “I trust you to take care of me.”

“I’d go to the Black City and back for you,” Sanghyuk said, fervent and serious, looking deep into Jaehwan’s eyes. Jaehwan let out a shaky sigh and smiled.

“And I for you.”

Sanghyuk pressed a long kiss to Jaehwan’s forehead before asking, “Is there anything we can do for your friend?”

“No… The only thing we can do is make sure he’s treated well. Just because he can’t feel, doesn’t mean he should be mistreated.”

“I’ll see what I can do once this is all over.”

“Thank you, Hyogi,” Jaehwan exhaled the words, relieved, and tucked his head under Sanghyuk’s chin. “This means a lot to me.”

“I know it does.”

“You spoil me too much, I’m should be the one spoiling you,” Jaehwan halfheartedly complained and Sanghyuk snorted.

“For each time you try to spoil me, I’ll spoil you double.”

“That doesn’t even make sense—”

A quick set of knocks on the door interrupted Jaehwan, and both of them turned just in time to see Hakyeon peeking into the bathroom.

“Please tell me you didn’t have sex in my bathtub.”

Sanghyuk rolled his eyes, “No, we did not have sex in your bathtub, you told us not to and we’re not savages.”

“Hm. Alright,” Hakyeon said with his eyes narrowed suspiciously. “You two have been in there forever, dinner is almost ready and Jaehwan’s friend will be here soon, so this is probably your cue to come out here.”

“Yes,  _ mom _ ,” Jaehwan shot back teasingly and Hakyeon, clucking his tongue, left and closed the door behind him. Jaehwan sighed and stretched his arms. “Well, this was nice while it lasted.”

“We should definitely do it more often,” Sanghyuk agreed, waiting for Jaehwan to get up so he could do the same. “Should we tell Hakyeon we didn’t have sex  _ in _ the bathtub but that we  _ did _ have sex  _ by _ the bathtub?”

“Sometimes I really think you have a death wish, Hyogi.”

 

✶✶✶

 

Dinner turned out to be a fun affair, with Junghwan and Jaehwan recounting their many tales from their time together at the College, making everyone laugh around the table - even Wonshik and Hongbin were laughing, albeit only after a few drinks. They weren’t speaking to each other, mostly pretending the other was not there, but at least they weren’t fighting; it made it all much easier.

Jaehwan was also very glad that Junghwan was getting along well with his friends, not that it had come as much of a surprise since Junghwan, much like himself, was very open and friendly. He was especially happy that Sanghyuk was becoming friends with Junghwan, the boyfriend and best friend friendship he was hoping for.

After dinner, Hakyeon dragged both Taekwoon and Wonshik, the two who had been dozing off at the table, back to the bedroom so they could sleep, and returned to the kitchen to clean up with Hongbin’s help. Jaehwan and Sanghyuk moved to the living room with Junghwan to start their research, and it was then that Jaehwan told Junghwan everything - the attack, the cultists, their travels. The only thing he didn’t mention was the part where Hongbin took off, because that was an unnecessary detail at that particular moment. And the bit about himself being a Blood Mage.

Everyone was getting along and having fun, no need to ruin that.

Junghwan’s expression was blank once Jaehwan finished his tale, mouth hanging open like a dead fish while he stared at Jaehwan. He could almost hear the gears in his head grinding to make sense of all that information.

After a few moments, Junghwan finally seemed to get his bearings. “Ok. Wow. That’s— A lot to take in.”

“Yeah, well,” Jaehwan said smartly with a little shrug. Sanghyuk just let out the hugest sigh in history.

“Alright. Alright, alright, alright,” Junghwan mumbled, his gaze shifting to the pile of books he’d brought along. “Oh man, I hope something I brought can help.”

“I guess we’re about to find out,” Jaehwan said and, cracking his knuckles, reached out for the first book on the pile, which prompted Sanghyuk and Junghwan to do the same.

“I assume we’re looking for any hints on how to kill a god,” Junghwan said, forcefully cheerful.

“Not exactly, we’re just looking for anything that can give us more insight into this whole thing. We don’t have much so far,” Jaehwan replied. “Anything would help, even if it’s something seemingly useless like ‘oh, this secret Old God really liked eating cookies’.”

“At least we’ll know to bring cookies to bribe it into not killing us,” Sanghyuk idly said as he flipped through an ancient looking tome.

“It couldn’t hurt,” Jaehwan said back, and saw Sanghyuk smile from the corner of his eyes.

For a while, they were all quietly sifting through book after book, sometimes pointing things out to each other if they thought they found something meaningful. None of it was very helpful, not so far. The only noises in the living room were the sound of pages turning, the little bits of muffled conversation from the kitchen where Hakyeon and Hongbin were, and the occasional, faraway sound of Wonshik’s snoring - which was slightly creepy because it sounded exactly like a dragon would.

After a few minutes, Jaehwan said to Junghwan, “You know, when I was in Perendale, I saw Ning-Ning.”

“You did!?” Junghwan almost dropped the book he was holding as he yelped, his eyes wide and shiny with interest. “How is she!? I miss her so much! And Hyojin misses her too, she’s been so grumpy since Heeyeonie got transferred.”

“She’s fine. I want to find a way to get her out of there, that place is miserable,”  Jaehwan said, shoulders dropping dejectedly with the memory of the Perendale Circle.

“I’ll take care of it once this is over,” Sanghyuk repeated his promise, this time not to Jaehwan but to Junghwan, who looked thoroughly appreciative of it. “I want to bring in people that can be trusted to Castrum Draconis. Maybe you can come too, if you want.”

Junghwan visibly perked up at those words. “Really? Woah, working for the king, I— I can’t imagine what that would be like.”

“You’d see him naked a lot,” Jaehwan blandly commented, not even lifting his eyes from the book he was reading. Sanghyuk snorted. Junghwan squawked with pure horror written on his features.

Things settled down after that, as they got more and more immersed in their research. At some point, Hongbin and Hakyeon came out of the kitchen and joined them in their search, but not long after they gently kicked Hakyeon out as he was falling asleep on his armchair. The rest of them continued on after Hakyeon went to join Taekwoon and Wonshik in the bedroom, the night deep and silent. Jaehwan had to get up to make them some tea to help everyone stay awake, and that was the only thing keeping them alert through the mind-numbing task of checking book after book, one page at a time, to make sure they weren’t missing anything.

Jaehwan was close to giving up. Everything just felt hopeless. There they were, on Hakyeon’s living room in the middle of the night - almost morning by then, probably - vigorously drinking cup of tea after cup of tea to stay awake, and he was tired, so tired that the words seemed to swim in front of his eyes, his eyelids dropping like there were rocks tied to them.

He snuggled closer to Sanghyuk, hoping that he could maybe take a quick nap and ask Sanghyuk to wake him after five or ten minutes, but the moment he laid his head on his shoulder, Sanghyuk passed him the book he’d been reading.

“I can’t understand what it says here.”

Jaehwan hummed questioningly as he took the book that was passed to him, instantly recognizing the dialect on the cover - Ancient Tevene. He promptly sat up, ignoring his sleepiness momentarily to give his full attention to that book.

“Hwanie, weren’t you looking at that Tevene codex just now?”

“Yeah, it’s right here,” Junghwan said while lifting a large tome from the ground and dropping it on Jaehwan’s lap. Jaehwan gasped at the weight and winced.

“Ugh, this is really fuckin heavy,” Jaehwan said with some difficulty and Sanghyuk sighed next to him.

“You and your skimpy mage arms,” he teased before easily taking the book from Jaehwan’s lap.

“Woah,” Junghwan said in an impressed exhalation.

Jaehwan definitely shared the sentiment. “That was so hot, Hyogi.”

“I know,” Sanghyuk grinned after answering, cheeky like the brat he was, and helpfully held the book up so Jaehwan could look for the words he wanted.

“Thank you,” Jaehwan mumbled as he began checking the book in Tevene, recognizing a few words here and there - enough to know that it was about Old Gods.

That renewed his will to keep going, and he went through page after page, finding information on each and every single one of the Old Gods, until finally,  _ finally _ coming across a name that didn’t match any of the know dragons. He paused, trying to make sense of the word, and briefly consulted the book Sanghyuk was still patiently holding for him; poor Hyogi, his arms must have gotten very sore. He would give him a massage later.

Finally, he found all the letters he was looking for, and spoke softly under his breath, “Thalat.”

“Excuse me?” Junghwan asked, obviously mishearing what he said.

“The name of the eighth Old God,” Jaehwan clarified, “it’s Thalat.”

“Oh. I thought you said ‘kaffas’.” 

Hongbin snorted from his armchair without raising his eyes from his own book, and even Sanghyuk snickered, and why wouldn’t he after Junghwan said the Tevene word for ‘shit’. Jaehwan only sighed and continued on searching the book for more information.

“Alright, Thalat, let’s see if you like cookies.”

“Maybe don’t say its name out loud so much, who knows, maybe it’s listening,” Junghwan said and shuddered.

“A name is just a name, Hwanie.”

“Unless you speak it three times in front of a mirror in a dark room, then it’s scary,” Hongbin wisely pointed out and, alright, fair, he was right.

“We’re not in a dark room and there are no mirrors around, I think it’s safe,” Sanghyuk declared, and he was right too.

Jaehwan decided to ignore the banter and focus on looking for information, the tip of his index fingers accompanying his eyes as he searched the foreign words for anything relevant. It wasn’t long before he came across a very familiar word.

The word he couldn’t translate when he was still in possession of that book about Old Gods. Right there, taunting and mocking him. He would show that stupid word who’s boss.

“Why are you glaring at the book?” Junghwan asked, leaning closer to see what he was looking at.

“Do you know what this word means?”

“Hmm… It looks like an archaic version of a common word,” Junghwan said, turning his head this way and that trying to figure out that stupid word. “That first letter is definitely an ‘M’.”

“Mhm, and this one is an ‘I’,” Jaehwan added, pointing to the symbol in question.

“The word before this one is ‘Dracona’. Dragons.”

“Maybe it’s an ancient form of ‘Manaveris Dracona’? Long live the dragons?” Hongbin suggested, and Jaehwan pondered about it for a moment before shaking his head.

“No, I don’t think that’s it, it’s a— A prefix, of sorts,” he declared before going back to searching the book Sanghyuk was holding. He took the piece of parchment where he’d been taking notes so far and his quill, and got to work.

The others went back to looking through their own books, but Jaehwan persisted on that one word, Sanghyuk sometimes pointing out something to him as he was still holding the book. Slowly but surely, the letters began to appear one after the other, and finally, everything made sense.

Making sense didn’t mean Jaehwan wasn’t shocked to his very core, though.

“Draconamatris. The word is ‘Matris’,” Jaehwan said, all eyes turning to him questioningly, unsure why he was suddenly so concerned. “It means ‘Mother’.”

 

✶


	28. Wild animals in captivity

✶

 

It took a long moment for everyone to process what Jaehwan was saying, including Hongbin who was usually much sharper and faster to react to sudden information. He only stared at Jaehwan, rolling over the news in his head for a few seconds, before taking a deep breath to reel in any stronger emotions, the most glaring of all being concern.

“So… Does this mean that this eighth dragon is the mother of all other Old Gods?”

Jaehwan’s first answer was a helpless little shrug and a shake of his head, something Hongbin wasn’t sure he should interpret as confusion or dejection. “It’s what it says here, yes.”

Dejection it was.

“I’d rather it said she likes cookies,” Sanghyuk said and groaned, rubbing his hands over his face.

“Let’s keep searching, maybe we’ll find something else,” Jaehwan said, and Hongbin could easily tell he was trying to sound more positive and determined than he really felt.

“Should we wake the others?” Hongbin asked, glancing at the pile of remaining books on the center table. “We need all the help we can get.”

“No, let them sleep,” Jaehwan replied, turning back to his book to keep translating anything of interest. “We can tag team this, they can take over once we go to bed.”

“Sounds like a plan,” Hongbin granted, continuing to pour over book after book, hardly able to concentrate due to exhaustion and concern.

He remembered what the maleficar, Heechul, had said: the dragon of dragons. It all made perfect sense now. The constellation depicting a dragon - the first dragon. That’s why it was so important. The stars were—

The  _ stars _ .

Hongbin suddenly got up from his chair, leaving the book he’d been holding on his seat before rushing to the little closet where they’d shoved their belongings earlier, pulling from there a copy he’d made of the map they found in the Silent Plains. Then he rushed back to the living room and plopped down on a relatively empty spot on the floor. Jaehwan, Sanghyuk and Junghwan simply stared at him, confused and a little concerned.

“Uh… Hongbin, maybe you should go to bed,” Sanghyuk suggested, but Hongbin dismissed him with a gesture of his hand.

“Yeah, later,” he said, then turned to Jaehwan, “do you have anything on constellations and star charts?” 

“Oh, I think I brought a book like that!” Junghwan answered in Jaehwan’s stead and immediately began searching the book pile for the tome he’d mentioned. 

In the meantime, Hongbin unfolded his map and spread it open on the floor, locating the two marks he’d written over the place they had found the compass and the place where it, presumably, led. If his suspicions were correct, then they had half the information they needed from the start.

“Here you go,” Junghwan said, chipper, as he passed the book to Hongbin, who smiled and said a quick ‘thank you’ before starting to search its contents for the correct constellation.

“Hongbin, what are you doing?” Jaehwan asked, puzzled, and Hongbin just gestured with one hand to tell him to wait a second. Jaehwan huffed, annoyed at the dismissal, but Hongbin paid him no mind.

He flipped the pages of the book one after the other, sparing only a little bit of his attention to each topic as he searched for the correct constellation. He was anxious for reasons he couldn’t even fathom, had no idea why was that suddenly so important since it didn’t even matter anymore, but he wanted something to validate his suspicions, something that would finally connect the dots that had been floating aimlessly in his head since that whole thing started.

Or maybe he was just so desperate to be of any help after the shit he pulled that he was going insane seeing things where there was nothing.

No. No, no, no, he wasn’t insane, it was there, he could feel it. He just had to find it, just had to find an illustration in that book and—

Yes, there it was.

He wasn’t insane.

“Fuck… We should have looked up,” Hongbin murmured to himself, not loud enough that the others could hear it. Jaehwan still noticed he’d spoken, though.

“What did you say?”

Hongbin motioned with his hand again, this time urging the others to approach. They did so without question, and once they were all huddled around the map, Hongbin placed the book down next to it, an illustration of the constellation Draconis depicted on the open page.

“Here, this is where that hidden cave room thing in the Silent Plains is,” Hongbin said, pointing to one of the marks on the map, “and here,” he pointed to the second one, “is where that map we found there points to.”

Hongbin dragged the book closer to those marks, right next to them, the others paying close attention to what he was saying.

“Remember what that maleficar said about the constellation Draconis?” he continued. “It presumably depicts this eighth dragon, right? So here, if you take this star at the very top of what is supposed to be its head, and this last star on the tail—”

“Oh shit,” Jaehwan gasped, connecting the dots. “It aligns perfectly with the two locations.”

“Yes!”

“That map must have been made during a celestial cycle where those stars were placed  _ precisely _ on top of those two locations,” Junghwan added. “Good catch, Hongbin.”

“And look here,” Sanghyuk pointed to another point in the map - Hunter Fell. “There is one star right on top of Hunter Fell, I think  _ this _ is what we were supposed to find in that field where Thoth was slain, the constellation was right on top of us.”

“And we were too busy staring at the ground to notice!” Jaehwan exclaimed, excited. “This makes sense, it makes all the sense!”

Hongbin smiled at Jaehwan’s reaction, both for feeling validated and because he’d done something right. He wasn’t, however, expecting Jaehwan to fling himself onto him and hug him with the strength of ten bears.

“You’re a genius!”

Hongbin spluttered with the sudden tackle, but he was too giddy with the combination of being right and exhausted to react like he normally would, and instead he only kept smiling, laughing even. Maybe he even gave Jaehwan a one-armed hug back -  _ maybe _ .

So caught up in it they were, they didn’t notice the approaching footsteps, the new presence in the room; they only did once Wonshik spoke, his voice much deeper than usual from having been asleep so far.

“What is going on?” Wonshik asked, and Hongbin immediately stopped laughing. He didn’t feel like he had the right to laugh like that in front of Wonshik, didn’t feel like he deserved to look anything but miserable in his presence.

“Things are making sense!” Jaehwan exclaimed, still hanging onto Hongbin as if his arms were vines. “Hongbin is a fucking genius!”

Hongbin smiled awkwardly at the praise, feeling Wonshik’s sleepy eyes on him, burning through his skin, and he couldn’t look up. He didn’t want to look up. He kept his eyes fixed on the floor.

“Yeah. He is pretty smart, I guess,” Wonshik agreed, albeit reluctantly. Hongbin’s heart jerked involuntarily inside his chest; he shouldn’t feel as happy as he did with that hesitant, unsure praise. He shouldn’t be celebrating crumbs of affection, if he could even call it that.

“Sorry for waking you up,” Sanghyuk said, surprisingly the only one with some common sense left in that room. “Go back to bed, we’ll be quiet.”

“I slept enough already,” Wonshik said, starting to move towards the couch while running a hand through his messy hair. “What can I do to help?”

“Just go through that pile of books over there,” Sanghyuk pointed to said pile as he spoke and then turned to Hongbin. “You should head to bed, Hongbin, you’ve done more than enough.”

“Are you sure?” Hongbin asked, noticing what Sanghyuk was trying to do, but still wanting to stay to be of more assistance.

“Yeah, you look like you’re about to drop,” Sanghyuk insisted. “Go to sleep, you can help more later.”

Hongbin decided to relent this time, knowing Sanghyuk was right, and simply agreed with a nod before getting up from the floor. “Alright,” he said, and turned to Junghwan. “It was really nice meeting you.”

“You too!” Junghwan responded with one of his wide, friendly smiles. He was so similar to Jaehwan it was eerie.

“Good night, or— Good morning, I guess,” Hongbin said, giving the occupants of the room an awkward wave before moving towards the bedroom.

He made sure not to look at Wonshik’s general direction as he left.

 

✶✶✶

 

Despite being worried about it ever since Hongbin pointed out Taekwoon’s concerns to him, Hakyeon couldn’t find the right moment to bring it up; they hadn’t had any moments alone during the few days they stayed in Cumberland, and if they had, they were never long. Taekwoon was quiet and skittish, almost like the way he had been at the start, and it broke Hakyeon’s heart in a million pieces to see him so uncomfortable.

Not only the constant company was an issue, but also the amount of research they were doing. Taekwoon was often in Jaehwan’s company, consulting spirits of the Fade to see if any of them could help, which meant he was unconscious most of the time. When they happened to be unconscious simultaneously, sleeping side by side on the bed, Taekwoon would not appear in Hakyeon’s dreams.

Clearly, Taekwoon was avoiding him. That idiot.

And Fear and Deceit were of no help, mostly because they were barely around - Taekwoon had tasked them with making sure they wouldn’t suffer a surprise attack while on Hakyeon’s apartment, and that meant that they were very busy, Fear keeping watch outside and Deceit cloaking them; he didn’t ask how he was cloaking them and what that entailed, but he thought better not to ask. They were safe, that was the important part.

As a consequence, by the time he received word that his old crew had arrived at the Cumberland docks and the ship was waiting for them, Taekwoon was still quiet and Hakyeon was still struggling to find a good time to breach the subject. 

They had received the message in the early afternoon, and from that point on it was all about getting ready to go. Jaehwan, accompanied by Sanghyuk, took a last trip to the College to say farewell to Junghwan, while the rest of them stayed behind and sorted through everything they would bring with them. They would travel relatively lighter this time - only essentials. A few changes of clothes, clean water and food to last about a week, their weapons and armor.

Essentials.

At sunset, they set out and headed to the docks, around the time the message said they could meet. Hakyeon understood - the crew would have likely arrived earlier to stock up on supplies and be ready to depart the moment they entered the ship. No time to waste.

Hakyeon was excited, despite the lingering concerns he’d pushed momentarily to the back of his mind. He missed being on a ship, sailing the open sea; he missed his old crew too, missed getting into trouble with them, all the good times they had - they had basically grown up together in that ship. Hakyeon had been only short of sixteen years of age when he first became a Raider, and the first few members of his crew weren’t too far apart from him in age. They were all young and wide-eyed, hungry for adventure, for making their mark in a world that would only take them seriously through their deeds.

The crew itself was already a statement.

Hakyeon beamed upon spotting the vessel anchored at the docks and motioned to the others to move faster, Jaehwan whining behind him.

“Can’t I even have five minutes to say goodbye to my Reginald?”

“Jyani, you spent hours with him earlier, Reginald knows you’ll miss him,” Sanghyuk wisely said and Jaehwan’s only reply to that was a sizeable pout.

Once they approached the ship, Hakyeon immediately spotted someone come running down the platform to meet them, a wide smile and arms outstretched to hug him. Hakyeon beamed and rushed forward himself, meeting the girl halfway in a tight hug before lifting her off the ground and spinning around a few times.

“Yerim!” Hakyeon exclaimed, still hugging her tight. “Maker, it’s been so long!”

“I missed you so much, Hakyeon!” Yerim replied, and Hakyeon finally put her down and took a step back to take a better look at her. She had grown up so much since the last time he’d seen her, almost a full grown woman - she must be around, what… Seventeen now? Time sure flies when one’s not paying attention.

“I missed you too! Look at you, you’ve grown so much!”

“Can’t say the same about you,” she threw back cheeky, and Hakyeon laughed and hit her lightly on the forehead with his knuckles before turning around to the others. “Let me introduce you. This is Yerim, she’s like a little sister to me. Yerim, these are my friends, Wonshik, Sanghyuk, Jaehwan and Taekwoon. And you already know Hongbin.”

“It’s good to see you again, brat,” Hongbin said affectionately, stepping forward to give her a hug as well.

“Yerim is the baby of the crew,” Hakyeon explained as they began moving again, starting to climb the ramp to board the ship. “She was about nine years old when we took her in.”

“The village where I was born was raided and burned to the ground,” Yerim exclaimed, hanging from Hongbin’s arm. “I was roaming the rubble looking for food when they found me. Hakyeon taught me everything I know.”

“ _ Most _ of everything you know.”

“True, Sooyoungie was the one who taught me to curse.”

“Hey, what are you saying my name for!?” came a second female voice from the ship, and soon enough Sooyoung herself appeared at the top of the ramp, hands on her hips and eyes narrowed playfully.

Again, Hakyeon rushed ahead to give her a hug, Sooyoung hugging him back just as tight. He’d barely parted from her when yet another woman came rushing towards him and tackled him, almost bringing them both to the ground.

“Hakyeon! Welcome back!”

“Wheein, you’re going to kill him like that!” another voice said, and Hakyeon turned his head to see Yongsun approaching, her smile bright and sunny, arms outstretched for a hug. “It’s good to see you again.”

“You too, Yongsun,” Hakyeon said, using one arm to hug Yongsun while his other one was busy still hugging Wheein.

One by one, all the girls that had been part of his crew came to say hello - Hyejin and Byulyi, Seungwan and Seulgi, Hyelin and Joohyun and Junghwa. There were a few new faces, all of the girls very polite and friendly, and finally, the last woman approached him, hugging him tight and for a long time.

“You have no idea how much we missed you,” she said.

“I’ve missed you all too, so much, Solji,” Hakyeon responded and sighed, content. Solji was always like an older sister to him, and it was too her that he passed on the captain hat when he left the Raider life. For what he could see, she was doing an amazing job as captain.

At last, Hakyeon turned to his friends with a wide smile, arm still around Solji’s shoulder, and with his free arm outstretched to indicate their surroundings said, “Welcome to The Lost Fantasia.”

It was with satisfaction that he saw the look on their faces, awe and curiosity, Taekwoon especially fascinated with the ship Hakyeon once had called home. Hongbin was the only one who wasn’t impressed - he’d seen it all before, met all the girls before. He was busy greeting the other girls, catching up with their news, and Hakyeon was relieved to see that he was smiling; Hongbin hadn’t been smiling much the past few days.

Wonshik was looking around slack-jawed, but it was Sanghyuk who expressed their collective thoughts out loud. “Uh… There are a lot of ladies, here.”

Solji laughed at the comment. “That’s one way to put it.”

Hakyeon, also laughing, said, “The crew of The Lost Fantasia are mostly women. Solji and I started the crew, and I was the only man around for a good amount of the time I’ve been a Raider.”

“Hakyeon and another man named Jinyoung were the only two men in the ship for the first couple of years,” Solji explained. “Jinyoung left the crew not long after - chasing this mage in Ferelden - and after Jinyoung we’ve had a few other men on board, here and there. Minhyuk and Eunkwang were the ones who stayed the longest, and then there was Wongeun too before the three of them left as well.”

“The rest of the crew was always mostly women, and it’s been an all-female crew for a few years now,” Hakyeon said. “It was something we started to prove a point.”

“There’s this superstition that floats around Raider circles that says women on a ship bring bad luck,” Solji said and scoffed. “Not only that, but there’s that underlying prejudice against female Raiders. People think women aren’t strong enough to Raid. Needless to say, The Lost Fantasia’s ladies prove this dumbassery wrong every single time.”

“And we smell better than most men do as well,” Hyelin commented as she passed by, ruffling Hakyeon’s hair fondly on her way to help the other girls lift the ramp so they could depart.

“Solji, here, let me introduce you,” Hakyeon let go of Solji to rush to his friends’ sides - more specifically, Taekwoon’s. “These are Jaehwan, Sanghyuk, Wonshik, and Taekwoon,” he motioned to each of them, clinging to Taekwoon’s arm once he finished introducing them.

“It’s very nice to meet all of you,” Solji graciously greeted them with a bright smile. “We prepared a couple cabins for you, if you need anything you only have to ask.”

“Thank you so much for the help,” Sanghyuk said. “We truly appreciate it.”

“Don’t mention it,” Solji’s smile grew wider as she spoke. “It was good that you called us when you did, we were starting to get bored with the lack of action lately.”

“If you want action, I think we’ll be able to provide you that,” Jaehwan said. “I hope you have some cannons.”

Solji smirked, smug. “Several of them.”

“Awesome.”

“Hakyeon?”

The voice that sounded from behind Solji made Hakyeon freeze where he stood, and once he looked from Solji to the newcomer, he almost turned on his heels and ran off out of how overwhelming that surprise was.

“Wongeun,” Hakyeon said the name a little breathlessly, eyes wide and mouth hanging open. Wongeun was there for some reason, and he shouldn’t be, he’d left The Lost Fantasia even before Hakyeon had stopped Raiding to start his own crew, and yet— “What are you doing here?”

“I invited him!” Yerim reappeared, bubbly and smiley, almost buzzing with excitement. “When I heard we were coming to see you I thought it would be nice to reunite you two!”

Wongeun looked— Handsome. Wongeun had always been handsome though, with his dazzling smile and bright eyes, his approachable personality and boyish charm. He always looked very ‘put together’, had always dressed and acted according to his upbringing - Wongeun came from a wealthy family, the only child and heir to his parents’ fortune, and becoming a Raider had been more of an act of rebellion than it was a passion for him. He fell in love with it, and Hakyeon liked to think he’d been responsible for at least a fraction of Wongeun’s growing attachment to the ocean. 

He didn’t think he would ever see Wongeun again, and yet there he was, standing in front of him looking as handsome as ever.

Taekwoon had gone tense next to him.

“Ah, Wongeun,” Hongbin said, rejoining them after he was done greeting the other girls. “Those clothes look nice, did your mama buy them for you? Or was it your dada?”

“Hongbin, long time no see,” Wongeun responded with that same mild smile on his face. “I’d check your pockets, but it’s rude since you’ve only been here two minutes.”

Hakyeon simply sighed; Hongbin used to get along with Wongeun once upon a time, but ever since Wongeun made Hakyeon choose him or dancing, Hongbin had acquired a deep-rooted loathing for him. One of the many reasons Hakyeon was thankful for having Hongbin as a friend was that Hongbin always took issue with people who broke Hakyeon’s heart.

“Wongeun, you’re a guest. Play nice,” Solji warned before turning towards Hongbin. “You too.”

“I’m always nice,” Hongbin said breezily and grinned a toothy, shark-like grin, the ones that always spoke of underlying danger. 

“Hey, you know what would be great!?” Yerim piped up, obviously not noticing the hostility, bouncing on her feet with excitement. “A party!”

“A party?” Solji echoed with a chuckle. “That doesn’t sound bad at all.”

“Yes!” Yerim exclaimed, pumping her fist into the air.

“Did someone say ‘party’?” Hyejin asked from behind them.

Hakyeon immediately perked up, as did Jaehwan. Hongbin rolled his eyes, Sanghyuk looked mildly interested and Wonshik was smiling politely. And Taekwoon— 

Hakyeon looked up at Taekwoon next to him and found a sad expression on his love’s face, his dark eyes lowered to the floor, lips pursed tight. Hakyeon wanted to comfort him, say that Wongeun was no threat and that his presence there didn’t mean a thing, but he knew Taekwoon wouldn’t like that, not in public. So he scooted closer to him, a subtle little movement only so their arms would touch, just so Taekwoon would feel him standing right next to him. He hoped it was enough for the time being.

 

✶✶✶

 

Wonshik skulked away into the inner area of the ship as soon as he felt it was polite enough to leave. He just went down flight of stairs after flight of stairs, no idea where he was going, what room was what, until he reached what seemed to be the very bottom of the ship - a cargo hold, of sorts. The room was full of large barrels, filled with either water or rum or whatever it was Raiders liked to drink. Wine? Dwarven ale? Who knows.

Wonshik entered the room and walked to the furthermost wall - there was a space between the wall and the barrels, a space wide enough to put down his bedroll. He didn’t feel like socializing, being around people, or anywhere someone could easily find him. First, there were so many women in that ship, and he always felt very awkward around women he didn’t know very well, and second— He just wasn’t up to it. They could all die in the next few days, and that added to his already heavy feelings regarding Hongbin didn’t help; everything felt like too much, and he just wanted not to deal with anything. He wanted the dark quiet of that cargo hold and its mystery barrels.

And they wanted to throw a party - yet one more thing he didn’t want or need.

Not long after he’d entered the room, he heard the shuffling of Taekwoon’s soft footsteps. He noticed he’d followed him, and he thought it was alright. Taekwoon was good company. He didn’t mind sharing this quiet dark room with him.

Taekwoon didn’t set down his bedroll, though; maybe because he didn’t plan on staying, maybe because he planned to do it later. It didn’t matter. They just sat down side by side in companible silence, staring at the poorly lit floor as the shadows danced and swayed, the old oil lantern hanging from the ceiling swinging with the motion of the ship.

There was something else about Taekwoon’s silence, though. Risking a subtle glance his way, Wonshik immediately decided to break the silence - Taekwoon’s expression was so  _ sad _ .

“What happened?” Wonshik asked in a low voice, only a little higher than a whisper. “Did you have a fight with Hakyeon?”

Taekwoon exhaled through his parted lips and murmured, “Not yet.”

Alright, now Wonshik was getting worried. “What’s wrong?”

Taekwoon didn’t speak for several seconds, and Wonshik didn’t push him to do so - he knew it was hard to find the right words to express hurt, and Taekwoon was more careful with his words than most.

Finally, Taekwoon seemed to reach a conclusion, for he licked his bottom lip nervously and said, “Hakyeon wants me to live in his apartment with him.”

Wonshik blinked, giving himself a moment to process. “And that’s bad?”

“I— Yes. I don’t feel comfortable there,” Taekwoon said, fidgeting where he sat. “I feel like I shouldn’t be there, like— Like I don’t belong there.”

“Oh.”

“I never— Never had a kitchen,” Taekwoon said and chuckled bitterly to himself. “Or a bathtub. Or a proper bed. I never lived in a city like Cumberland, with so many people. And while I have been treated differently for being a Somniari, I never had to worry about  _ looking _ different. Now— I feel like I am stared at anywhere I go.”

“I understand how uncomfortable that must be,” Wonshik spoke, Taekwoon’s concerns finally making sense to him. “Did you talk to Hakyeon?”

Taekwoon shook his head. “No. I’m hoping it’ll go away with time, once I get used to it.”

“You shouldn’t get used to feeling uncomfortable.”

“I’m scared to tell him,” Taekwoon admitted in a whisper, bringing his knees up to his chest and wrapping his arms around them. He looked like a fearful child. “I don’t want to— To disappoint him. Or burden him, or—”

“Taekwoon, come on,” Wonshik interrupted him, wrapping an arm around his shoulders. “Hakyeon is madly in love with you. I’m sure that he’ll understand if you talk to him.”

Taekwoon opened his mouth to say something but closed it, having second thoughts about it, and said instead, “I’m sorry. This is the last thing you need right now and I’m bothering you with my troubles.”

“It’s alright. It’s good to think about someone else’s problems for a change.”

“Still, I am sorry. I— I’ll go now.”

“No, Taek, stay,” Wonshik said as he held onto Taekwoon when he made to get up, forcing him to stay put. “I like your company.”

Taekwoon sat still for a moment, staring at the floor, and finally nodded to agree. 

“I’m sure you and Hakyeon can figure this out,” Wonshik said, pulling Taekwoon closer to himself. “After everything that happened between you two, it’s not an apartment that will break you apart.”

“He deserves better. He deserves— More,” Taekwoon said as he rested his head on Wonshik’s shoulder. “I can’t give him the things he’s used to having. Comfort, stability… I don’t know how to do that. Be that.”

“You have to talk to him, Taek. Find a middle ground.”

“Middle ground…” Taekwoon echoed and sighed. “I just want him to be happy.”

“I know you do,” Wonshik replied, resting his head on top of Taekwoon’s.

“I’m scared he’ll leave,” Taekwoon admitted in a murmur. “I know he will leave, if not now, then eventually. I’m so scared.”

Wonshik pursed his lips and didn’t reply right away, only tightened his hold on Taekwoon and closed his eyes. That sounded so much like the way he felt about Hongbin. That constant wait for the hammer to drop, for the worst to happen. The worst had already happened though, hadn’t it? Hongbin led him on, used him and tossed him out like trash.

And yet— Did he? He wasn’t sure. He wasn’t sure about anything anymore.

Hongbin’s reasons to do what he did made sense. He believed him, he did, but— That wasn’t enough. That wasn’t enough to make up for all the pain he had to go through after being abandoned. And to know that Hongbin was aware of what he was doing… That was the worst. That was worse than if Hongbin had pierced him through the heart with his daggers. Maybe Hongbin’s intentions were never to hurt him, he believed that; but Hongbin knew that he would.

And he did it anyway.

If Wonshik someday found it in himself to forgive him, would Hongbin stay? He didn’t the last two times they had a good thing going, the first because Hongbin needed more than what Wonshik could give him, and the second because Hongbin needed to fix the mess he’d created on his own. What would be the next reason? Hongbin kept leaving.

Wonshik was tired of not being enough for Hongbin, but was that the situation now? According to Hongbin, he left because he wanted to make sure Wonshik survived, even if Hongbin himself didn’t. That, logically thinking, meant that Hongbin considered Wonshik’s life more important than his own.

But what of his heart? What of what they had? Didn’t those matter too?

Hongbin would rather Wonshik was hurt than to tell him the truth; why didn’t he just tell him the truth?

Taekwoon moved his head on his shoulder, and it caught Wonshik’s attention - both for the movement and for the soft, barely there sniffle he heard. Taekwoon was crying, and Wonshik really didn’t want to see that, but alas, it was happening.

“Hey, it’s ok,” Wonshik said, awkward, unsure, but wanting to comfort him anyway. Taekwoon was clearly fighting his tears, sniffling and taking deep breaths, Adam’s apple moving continuously as he tried to swallow down the urge to cry. That was worse than it would be if Taekwoon was bawling openly, because it showed just how much Taekwoon kept inside, hidden away, be it out of shame or concern to be a burden. “It’s ok. It’ll be ok.”

Taekwoon made a helpless little noise and turned his face to hide it fully against Wonshik’s shoulder. Wonshik held him closer, tighter, a silent way to tell Taekwoon he wasn’t alone, that he was there for him. He hoped it was enough.

Eventually, Taekwoon’s sniffles died down, tears occasionally running down his cheeks, but they were both quiet and still, wrapped up in their thoughts. Wonshik wished there was something he could to help Taekwoon, but ultimately it wasn’t his place to meddle in his relationship with Hakyeon - Taekwoon was the one who had to handle it. All he could for him was… Be there. And he was.

A while later, maybe just a couple minutes, maybe several, they heard footsteps approaching, and Hakyeon’s voice calling Taekwoon’s name. Wonshik was convinced Taekwoon would get up to go meet his lover outside on the hallway, but Taekwoon— He didn’t. He closed his eyes and pretended he was asleep instead.

Well. At least he was consistent with how he seemed to always run from his problems.

“Taekwoon?” Hakyeon’s voice called from the hallway, closer now, and Wonshik took a deep breath to prepare for what was to come. He didn’t want to lie to Hakyeon, but it looked like Taekwoon needed more time. “Taekwoonie, are you down here?”

Wonshik looked down at Taekwoon, still feigning sleep, and called out, “He’s in here with me.”

The footsteps became quicker, and soon enough Hakyeon was standing in front of them, covering his mouth with one hand upon seeing that Taekwoon was— ‘Sleeping’.

“Oh, I didn’t know he was sleeping,” Hakyeon whispered not to ‘wake up’ the poor ‘sleeping’ Taekwoon. “Why are you two all the way down here? There are cabins with beds on them.”

“It felt like a good idea,” Wonshik said, looking around. It wasn’t a bad place to sleep, all things considered. “I wasn’t feeling up to being around people, so I just— Came here. Taekwoon followed me, I think he wasn’t up to it either.”

“A-ah. Yes, I— I thought as much,” Hakyeon stammered, fidgeting where he stood. And Wonshik once thought they were the only functional couple around, but no. Idiots too. “I— When he wakes up, can you tell him there’s a cabin for us upstairs? There’s one for you too, Wonshik.”

“I will, thank you, Hakyeon,” Wonshik replied with a smile. “I think I’ll stay down here a while longer, but I’ll head upstairs later.”

“Alright,” Hakyeon said with a nod and looked over at Taekwoon. From the look that crossed his face, he noticed the tears. “I’ll be upstairs then, if— When he wants to come to bed.”

“I’ll let him know,” Wonshik replied, and Hakyeon left as swiftly as he’d entered the room. Wonshik sighed, lowering his head. He gave it a few moments to make sure Hakyeon was gone, and whispered to Taekwoon, “He knows you were crying.”

Taekwoon heaved a deep sigh and hid his face against Wonshik’s shoulder again. “I know. I’m the worst.”

“You’re not.”

“I keep making him sad.”

“It’ll get better,” Wonshik told him. “You can’t keep running, though.”

Taekwoon didn’t answer that. All he did was curl up next to Wonshik and silently cry.

 

✶✶✶

 

“I think that seagull is staring at me,” Jaehwan mumbled, eyes narrowed and aimed at the very top of the main mast. Sanghyuk, arms wrapped around his middle, chest pressed to his back, followed his gaze and, sure enough, there was a seagull sitting there. It wasn’t staring at them, though.

“If I were a seagull I’d stare at you too,” Sanghyuk joked and nuzzled Jaehwan’s neck, making him giggle and squirm. His ticklish boyfriend.

“Stop, don’t be mean!” 

“I’m not being mean, I’m kissing you,” Sanghyuk corrected him and smacked a loud kiss on Jaehwan’s neck, causing him to squeal with delight.

“I’ll end up falling off the ship like this!”

“I’m holding you, I won’t let you fall.”

Jaehwan turned his body around just a little, just enough that he could look up at Sanghyuk and smile. “I know you won’t,” he said, “I trust you with my life.”

“And I trust you with mine,” Sanghyuk pressed a kiss to Jaehwan’s lips and sighed, happy, completely at ease under the blue skies and crying seagulls. “You know, despite how nervous I am about this whole thing… I can’t wait for it to be over so we can go home.”

“Why do I feel like you mean ‘spend a month locked in your bedroom’ when you say that?” Jaehwan asked, laughter in his voice.

“I have no idea,” Sanghyuk said, faking honesty to go along with the joke. Jaehwan giggled again, and after kissing the tip of his nose, Sanghyuk said in a more serious tone, “But that’s not all I mean. I want not to have to run away anymore, and I want to eat well, and I want to sleep in my bed, and I want to be able to make sure you don’t have to run and that you eat well and that you sleep in my bed.”

“I can get behind that,” Jaehwan agreed, turning around fully to face him. “You’ll have a lot of responsibilities, though.”

“Mhm, I know,” Sanghyuk said. “I even know what my first act as King will be.”

“Oh, do you?” Jaehwan said, watching him suspiciously. “What will it be?”

“I’ll have a big, comfy, extra beautiful throne made to put right next to mine in the throne room for you.”

“Sanghyuk…”

“What? My King Consort needs a comfortable place to sit.”

“You’re still going on about that?” Jaehwan said, giggling and shaking his head. “You’re relentless.”

“Just a little bit,” Sanghyuk replied and gave Jaehwan a strengthless bite on the cheek. “And my second act as King - you’ll like this one - is naming Wonshik Captain of the Royal Guard.”

Jaehwan’s face lit up with the news and he beamed at Sanghyuk - pure sunshine, right there, in his arms. “That’s an amazing idea! Do you think he’ll accept it?”

“Yeah, I think so,” Sanghyuk nodded, grinning down at Jaehwan. He’d been rolling some ideas in his head for a while about his new staff; now that they were so close to the finish line, he wanted to run his ideas through Jaehwan, his Arcane Advisor, best friend and love of his life. And future King Consort. “For Hakyeon— I thought about giving him a title, but he won’t go for that, will he?”

“No, being so into freedom like he is, he will definitely  _ not _ like a title.”

“I’ll give him an estate, though.”

“Oh wow,” Jaehwan said, laughing, “you really want to spoil them all, huh?”

“Of course, look at all the bullshit we’ve been through, they deserve some rewards, don’t you agree?”

“You make a fair point, my liege.”

“I think I know the perfect estate to give them, too. ‘Them’, because of course it’s for Taekwoon as well.”

“Oh? And which estate is that?”

“One that is located in the woods, just a couple hours South from the capital,” Sanghyuk said, and was satisfied to see the immediate approval in Jaehwan’s face. “I think it’ll be a very good reward for them, and while they won’t want titles, they’ll at least have a relatively secluded place to live.”

“Hm,” Jaehwan hummed, contemplating the idea for a moment. “That doesn’t sound half bad. Hakyeon will have a bigger place to live and Taekwoon will be close to nature.”

“Exactly! And I don’t think security will be a problem with Fear and Deceit around,” Sanghyuk completed. “And Hongbin—”

“—is right over there and probably listening to everything we say.”

Sanghyuk frowned, confused, and turned around to check if Jaehwan was right. Sure enough, there was Hongbin, sitting several paces away from them in a less populated part of the deck - quite a feat, since all the crew was running up and down preparing for that party they mentioned the evening before, the deck having been busy since very early in the morning. Maybe Hongbin would have been better off finding a broom closet or something.

“He can’t hear from all the way over there  _ plus _ the shrieking seagulls, I think we’re good.”

“Who knows, he’s a bard, bards are full of surprises.”

“I don’t know, Jyani, I don’t think they have supersonic hearing.”

“That you know of.”

Sanghyuk sighed and looked over at Hongbin again. Hongbin… Sanghyuk had a few mixed feelings about Hongbin. He didn’t think Hongbin was a bad person, not at all - his heart was, for the most part, in the right place. A good person who made bad decisions. Hongbin wouldn’t have wasted so much time trying to give Sanghyuk advice if that wasn’t the case. He made bad decisions, had to become a hard person in order to survive, but that didn’t make him bad. It made him ruthless and willing to do whatever it took to achieve his goals, not bad.

He made mistakes, yes, but who doesn’t? Good people and bad people alike make mistakes, it was a part of their flawed nature as  _ people _ , it was part of the learning process that made them better. You make a mistake, you learn a lesson - Hongbin had learned many lessons.

Ultimately, yes, he fucked up - Hongbin himself recognized it, and he was accepting the consequences. He was trying to do better, and Sanghyuk could forgive him.

But then there was Wonshik - poor, heartbroken Wonshik, with whom Sanghyuk had gotten so close to during their travels. He remembered how Wonshik used to behave around him, the deference, the formality, and how that changed to the close friendship they now shared. Hongbin was always much more guarded than Wonshik; while Hongbin was all secrets and whispers behind closed doors, Wonshik was sunlight streaming through open windows, bleeding heart on his sleeve, honest and genuine. It was no wonder Sanghyuk was much closer to Wonshik than Hongbin, so his instincts put him on Wonshik’s side.

Wonshik was devastated, and Sanghyuk couldn’t blame him - who could? - but at the same time… Hongbin was devastated too. He wanted to support both of them, but supporting one would upset the other.

He was friends with both of them. Cared about both of them.

But, in the end, Hongbin was the one who fucked up.

“What’s wrong?” Jaehwan asked, removing Sanghyuk from his thoughts. “You have a weird look on your face.”

“I don’t know, just— This whole thing going on with Hongbin,” Sanghyuk answer, knowing that was not enough to express all the conflicted feelings in his mind. “What do you think?”

“I think… I think that what’s done is done,” Jaehwan replied. “Hongbin did a very shitty thing, then he came back, and now he seems sincere in his efforts to help. That distrust I had— For some reason, I don’t feel it now. I think this time he’s not hiding anything.”

“So we should forgive him?”

“I can’t answer that. He hurt us all in different ways, some more than others. And I think this is not as much about forgiveness as it is about second chances.”

“Third for Wonshik,” Sanghyuk pointed out, and Jaehwan gestured impatiently at him.

“I know. Point is, forgiving him or not is your prerogative, but giving him a second chance— I think that’s fair.”

“Fair?” Sanghyuk echoed the word and sighed, silent for a few moments as he turned the thoughts around in his head. “Jyani… Do you think he’s a good person or a bad person?”

“That’s the thing, Hyogi. He’s both,” Jaehwan said, simple. “Nobody is entirely good and nobody is entirely bad. Andraste herself sinned, and many times for things she believed to be for the greater good. She killed people. Technically cheated on her mortal husband. Every battle she won was at the cost of someone else losing. For some, she was a bad person.”

“Huh. I never thought about it that way.”

“That’s why you have me, I’m here to advise you.”

“And to look pretty.”

“Yes, that too.”

Sanghyuk gave Jaehwan’s cheek another hearty bite that made him giggle, and Sanghyuk decided that there was only one thing Sanghyuk needed to do in order to know how to proceed with Hongbin. Taking a deep breath, because he might end up not liking the answer, he untangled himself from Jaehwan and walked calmly over to where Hongbin was sitting. Hongbin didn’t raise his eyes from his book.

“Finally got tired of staring at me from afar?” Hongbin asked immediately. Sanghyuk stammered for a moment, but recovered fast enough.

“I, uh— Can I ask you something?”

“Of course,” Hongbin said, and after marking and closing his book, he got up from the floor so he could face Sanghyuk more levelly. “What’s up?”

“You… You said you were hired by the cultists from the very start.”

Hongbin clenched his jaw, but nodded in response. “Yes. I was.”

“Did you—” Sanghyuk started but stopped, needing a couple seconds longer to find it in him to ask. “Did you know the attack at the ball would happen?”

Hongbin exhaled heavily and groaned, “Oh, Sanghyuk.” He murmured, shaking his head. “No, I didn’t know about the attack. I had no idea it would happen, if I had— I wouldn’t let Hakyeon be a part of it. I wouldn’t have allowed Wonshik to be there. If anything, just for them I would never have agreed to it.”

That was the answer Sanghyuk was hoping for. The tension bled out of him instantly and he smiled. “I believe you. I just— I had to be sure.”

“You can still blame me, I suppose,” Hongbin said. “I was too arrogant to have my eyes open and see that there was something wrong about the entire thing. Too arrogant and too narrow-sighted, because all I had in my mind was Wonshik. I’m sorry.”

“It’s not your fault,” Sanghyuk promptly replied. “It’s Seungho’s and his gang of sad minions.”

“If it makes you feel any better,” Hongbin spoke, “I did stab him before I ran away.”

Sanghyuk laughed at that, “It does make me feel a little bit better.”

“Wish I had killed him,” Hongbin said with a sigh and sat back down. “Next time.”

Sanghyuk smiled at him and nodded before he turned around and walked back to where Jaehwan was.

“Next time.”

 

✶✶✶

 

Taekwoon was feeling antsy. He was tired of being confined to small spaces and a ship was full of those. As much as he didn’t want to see anyone or be around people in general, he felt like he would go mad if he didn’t get fresh air inside his lungs soon - ships smelled weird. Wet wood and mold and smoke with a hint of dead fish. They probably ate a lot of fish on a ship. Or did they? Maybe he would ask Hakyeon later.

His steps faltered when the thought of Hakyeon crossed his mind, but he continued walking.

Thinking of Hakyeon made him even more anxious than he’d already been, but the problem was— He couldn’t stop. He couldn’t stop thinking about Hakyeon. He missed talking to him and being around him, and while he was terrified of the future, of the difficult discussions they would need to have, he couldn’t go on avoiding him. Hakyeon had become a crucial pillar in the structure of his life, and if that pillar wasn’t there then everything would fall apart. It was already falling apart, or at least that’s what he felt was happening.

Taekwoon took a deep breath as he walked. He decided it was time to face his fears and go to Hakyeon, talk to him about his concerns, explain why he was scared, discuss how to fix it - if Hakyeon wanted to fix it, that is.

Hakyeon was certainly in the deck somewhere. Good, that’s where Taekwoon was headed from the start. He continued on his path upstairs, already trying to rehearse what to say in his head, debating internally on whether or not to open his speech with ‘please, don’t leave me’. That was probably a little too desperate, though it was also very honest. 

He was focused on that particular issue when he reached the deck, only a short flight of stairs to emerge from the inside of the ship, but something made him stop dead on his tracks. Voices, one definitely Hakyeon’s. And he was laughing.

“—of course I remember!” Hakyeon was saying, loud and joyful. “It took us an entire month to get that smell out of her hair!”

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen Hyejin so pissed,” said the second voice, and Taekwoon recognized it after a second: Wongeun. “And at Wheein, no less.”

“She forgave her really fast, considering.”

“Wheein never tried anything like that again, though,” Wongeun said. “She stays away from clams altogether now.”

“That’s probably for the best,” Hakyeon said, still laughing.

Taekwoon chewed on his lower lip as he considered his options; he didn’t want to listen in on Hakyeon’s conversation, but he also wanted to talk to him. If he left his hiding spot and went upstairs, he would have to make himself known to Wongeun, and he didn’t want to do that. It was awkward not being able to speak to someone, and while he was somewhat jealous of him, he didn’t want to be rude to Hakyeon’s… ‘Friend’. The second option was to just turn around and go back downstairs, wait a few minutes, and then come out again. Certainly they would have left by then, right?

Taekwoon decided on the second option, but he’d only descended a couple steps, enough to be entirely out of sight, when he noticed a shift on the conversation.

Wongeun heaved a long sigh, and said in a way that was heavy with hidden meaning, “You know… Ever since you left, I— I have so many regrets from back then.” Taekwoon’s heart began hammering inside his chest. He didn’t want to hear that. He should go. “I fucked up so bad with you, Hakyeonie.”

“Mhm, you did,” Hakyeon agreed, and his voice, for Taekwoon’s relief, sounded firm in the way only a very determined, decisive person would. “It’s all in the past, though.”

“Is it?” Wongeun said, fast, too fast. Taekwoon’s relief evaporated just as quick. “I mean… We were good for each other, before I let my insecurity get the best of me.”

Oh, no. He didn’t want to stick around for that, but something kept him there, like his feet were shackled to the ground.

“Wongeun—” Hakyeon started saying before he was interrupted by Wongeun.

“I know, I  _ know _ , it’s been a long time, but… You were always the only one for me.”

After a beat of silence, Hakyeon smartly said, “Oh.”

Taekwoon had no idea how to interpret that ‘oh’. Was it a good ‘oh’ or a bad ‘oh’? And is it a good ‘oh’ for himself or Wongeun? He wasn’t sure if he wanted to find out, even as the voice inside his head kept telling him not to worry.

Of course, for his chagrin, Wongeun kept talking. “Not a day went by that I didn’t want to go find you, but I knew you were upset and needed space, so I didn’t. When Yerim told me they were going to see you, I— I thought this was the chance I was waiting for.”

“It isn’t.”

Taekwoon relaxed, leaning against the wall not to fall down the stairs. In his mind, he thanked the Creators for that mercy. He knew he could trust Hakyeon, but hearing the confirmation of it— It felt good. Great.

“It isn’t?” Wongeun asked, disappointed.

“It’s too late. I don’t feel for you what I did before, and even if there was something left— I already have someone.”

Yes. Yes, he did. Hakyeon had someone. Hakyeon had  _ him _ , Taekwoon. Wongeun should go find someone else to court. Hmph.

“You do? Who?” Wongeun asked, but just as soon as the questions came out of his out he was already scoffing.  “Wait, don’t tell me. It’s that Dalish elf, isn’t it? I saw how you look at him.”

Hakyeon’s voice had become harsher the next time he spoke. “Yes, it is ‘that Dalish elf’, and he has a name, which you know so there is literally no reason for you not to use it.”

Wongeun scoffed again, and Taekwoon was getting really tired of that attitude. “You can’t be serious.”

“Careful,” Hakyeon warned, voice level, clear, but the threat in that single word was palpable.

“What?” Wongeun questioned with another puff of laughter. “He’s— He’s the complete opposite of you, all quiet and broody and sullen. Can he even speak?”

“He can.”

“I haven’t heard him say a word.”

“He made a vow of silence.”

“Oh, so he’s a religious fanatic, too? Really, Hakyeon?”

“He’s not a fanatic, don’t be a dick just because you’re jealous.”

Taekwoon couldn’t help a smug little smile. There was something so incredibly satisfying about hearing Hakyeon defend him like that.

“Oh please,” Wongeun said, derisive, “there’s nothing for me to be jealous about. I’ve seen him.”

It was Hakyeon’s turn to scoff. “It’s not like you to be so petty.”

“I’m being  _ honest _ , not petty. I know you, Hakyeon, and he is not your type.”

“Oh, then please, enlighten me about my own preferences,” Hakyeon tone went from the neutral defensiveness he’d been so far to openly hostile, his patience having obviously run too low for him to be able to keep the annoyance in anymore. He’d never seen Hakyeon angry before, but even in those early stages of rage, he didn’t want to be on the receiving end of Hakyeon’s wrath.

He heard Wongeun sigh and say, “Don’t be like that.”

“You think you can say what you want and spew all this bullshit, and I won’t be angry?”

“I’m trying to open your eyes!” Wongeun exclaimed, voice rising in volume. “He’s a Dalish elf, he’s a savage! What kind of future do you even see with him!?”

Taekwoon closed his eyes, hands closed into tight fists of fear. Wongeun touched the most sensitive subject he could have touched. Maybe that was Taekwoon’s cue to leave, to stop listening, to— 

“A good one,” Hakyeon’s soft, affectionate voice changed Taekwoon’s mind. “A great one.”

“He doesn’t even talk,” Wongeun said, like that was a good enough reason for Hakyeon to leave.

“He talks plenty,” Hakyeon responded.

“I’ve never heard him say a single word.”

“I told you, he made a vow of silence. Or maybe he just doesn’t like you.”

Taekwoon had to cover his mouth not to laugh, not to make any noise. His witty love.

Wongeun sighed, obviously annoyed. “Now you’re being childish.”

“Oh, that’s fucking precious,  _ I _ am being childish?” the hostility was back in Hakyeon’s voice like it’d never left.

“Hakyeon, come  _ on _ , what is it that you see in him? I’ve barely seen you two spending any time together since you boarded, is that really what you want for yourself? A lover who doesn’t give you any attention?” Wongeun asked and then scoffed. Again. Was scoffing all he knew how to do? “He must be really good in bed for you to be so intent on keeping him.”

How was it that Wongeun kept mentioning the topics Taekwoon was most insecure about?

“Oh for— Really?” Hakyeon asked, annoyance still there and now multiplied, grown stronger and more pointed. “Not that this is any of your business, but we haven’t had sex yet, and even if we had and he turned out to be terrible, even if we never have sex, I would  _ still _ want to be with him because this is about so much more than that.”

Relief again, followed by another wave of dread.

“I think we both know how much bullshit that is. I remember how it was with us, how you couldn’t keep your hands to yourself.”

Now  _ that _ made Taekwoon feel like a terrible boyfriend. Hakyeon— He was a very physical person. He liked to touch and be touched, he liked proximity, he liked to ignore everything common sense dictated about personal space, and Taekwoon— He had denied him. Hakyeon acted like it was no big deal, but Taekwoon could feel that Hakyeon—  _ Wanted him.  _ It was in the way he looked at him, how he would let his hand linger for a few seconds too long on his waist, the way he kissed him so eagerly.

And there was Taekwoon. Being difficult. Being insufficient.

Hakyeon groaned, and Taekwoon was almost certain he’d cursed under his breath. “Wongeun, look. We parted on good terms and remained friendly with each other, but with every word that comes out of your mouth, that friendship turns more and more sour. If you think that you will convince me to come back to you by insulting not only me, but also someone I love and care deeply about, you need to take a step back and think over your strategy.”

“I’m trying to—”

“‘Open my eyes’, I get it.”

“I’m trying to look out for you. I  _ love you _ , Hakyeon,” Taekwoon wanted to hurl upon hearing those words. “I never stopped, and I know I fucked up but—”

“Don’t. Don’t come at me with ‘but this, but that’, you cornered me and asked me to choose between staying with you or chasing my dream, and I chose. I haven’t changed my mind. I’ll  _ never  _ change my mind. The feelings I had for you aren’t there anymore, and while I’ll always care for you  _ as a friend _ , I don’t want to get back together with you. Do you understand?”

“Hakyeon—”

“Do you understand or not?”

There was a short stretch of silence before Wongeun replied, “I understand. I still think you’re making a huge mistake.”

“Good thing I didn’t ask for your opinion, then.” 

Hakyeon’s reply made Taekwoon smile to himself again. Yes,  _ yes _ , Hakyeon had defended him, their relationship. Maybe he was right to hope after all.

He heard a set of feet walking towards the stairs where Taekwoon was currently hiding, and again he was faced with two choices: run downstairs, or own up to what happened and ask for forgiveness for trespassing.

He chose the latter and raised his head just in time for his eyes to meet Hakyeon’s when he appeared at the top of the stairs. Hakyeon looked shocked for a moment, but understanding quickly crossed his eyes and he came down a few steps to meet Taekwoon.

“You heard it all, didn’t you?”

No point in denying. “I did.”

“I’m so sorry you heard those things about you,” Hakyeon said with a sigh.

“It’s alright. Thank you for— For standing up for me.”

Hakyeon chuckled through his nose and shook his head, as if he just couldn’t believe Taekwoon’s words. “You don’t have to thank me for that.”

“I do, I— I know I’ve been lacking and I—”

“Shh, no, it’s ok. I don’t want to talk about it right now, I just—” Hakyeon stammered, lowering his head for a moment before looking up to meet Taekwoon’s gaze again. “Can I hold you for a while?”

Taekwoon smiled softly at Hakyeon and gave him a simple nod, reaching out his arms to him in invitation, and Hakyeon didn’t waste any time before falling into that hug like they hadn’t seen each other in years. Taekwoon understood the sentiment - the last couple days had been spent with busy research and anxiety, his time with Hakyeon having grown almost nonexistent, and that hug— It felt like coming home.

“I know we have to talk, baby,” Hakyeon said into his shoulder, voice muffled against his shirt. “I know, and I should have done that sooner. We’ll talk later tonight, ok? I’m too angry right now.”

“It’s alright,” Taekwoon responded.

“We’ll figure things out, I promise,” Hakyeon continued on. “I’m sorry I made you cry for behaving like a self-absorbed dumbass and not considering your feelings.”

“You’re not a self-absorbed dumbass.”

“I  _ am _ . I’m an idiot, and I’m so sorry, Taekwoonie.”

“It’s not your fault, I should have said something,” Taekwoon replied, nuzzling Hakyeon’s cheek affectionately.

Hakyeon made a content little noise at the back of his throat and squeezed Taekwoon like a teddy bear before turning his face to press a kiss to his lips. “I missed you.”

“I missed you too.”

“I’m sorry you had to hear all those things, you really didn’t need to add that to the last few days. I know it’s been hard on you,” Hakyeon said and raised his hands to cup Taekwoon’s cheeks gently. “Don’t believe a thing, ok? None of it was true, I don’t think like that at all.”

“I know you don’t. I’m sorry you had to be in that position.”

Hakyeon simply shook his head to dismiss his concern and smiled, even if that smile was somewhat sad; Taekwoon hated that he was the reason for that sadness. He didn’t know how to make it better, though.

“Don’t worry about it, darling. Now come with me, I’ll show you how to steer a ship.”

Taekwoon had no interest in learning that particular skill or any idea on where he would ever need it, but Hakyeon’s smile had grown less sad and only for that, Taekwoon would accept to learn anything. As he allowed Hakyeon to lead him to the deck, Taekwoon had a thought that, maybe, just maybe, he didn’t have to worry about Hakyeon leaving him. It would be ok. They would be ok.

 

✶✶✶

 

Jaehwan couldn’t deny that he’d always loved a good party, and it was even better if he was in good company - which he was. He was getting along great with the crew, especially with Byulyi with whom he’d spent a long time talking to earlier that day. Sanghyuk looked like he was having a good time too, talking animatedly with some of the women across the deck, one of which was Byulyi’s partner, Yongsun. Basically, Jaehwan and Byulyi were gushing about their respective lovers and how wonderful they were and all the romantic things they’ve done and said, and Jaehwan had to admit, Byulyi was winning with how cute her descriptions of her girlfriend were.

He was listening to her describe one of their first dates, when he noticed Sanghyuk approaching from the corner of his eyes and turned to face him just as he stopped next to them, a cute smile on his face and stars in his eyes.

“Excuse me,” he said, polite and cordial and every bit the royal he was. “May I borrow Jaehwan for a moment?”

Byulyi grinned, her nose scrunching a little, and immediately stepped aside, “He’s all yours. Literally.”

Jaehwan snorted at that and waved her off when she walked away to reunite with her girlfriend before giving his entire attention to Sanghyuk, who was standing there, looking dazzling and sweet. Jaehwan could barely believe they were lovers.

“So,” Sanghyuk started, “you owe me a dance, Jyani.”

Jaehwan chuckled and nodded, “Mhm, I reckon I do.”

Sanghyuk bowed before him, light and graceful, and extended one hand to him in invitation, “May I have this dance?”

“Like I could say no when you ask me like that,” Jaehwan answered with a smile, gladly giving Sanghyuk his hand and letting him guide him to the middle of the impromptu dancefloor the crew had arranged in the middle of the deck.

The girls who knew how to play instruments were playing a mellow but cheerful tune as Sanghyuk placed one hand on Jaehwan’s waist, using his other hand to hold Jaehwan’s own. Sanghyuk had always been an exceptional dancer, his posture perfect, spine straight and head high, and Jaehwan easily fell into step with him, Sanghyuk leading the dance as if it was his second nature.

“It was much easier to get you to dance with me this time around,” Sanghyuk commented and Jaehwan shot him a playful grin.

“Should I have played a little hard to get?”

“Definitely not,” Sanghyuk immediately replied. “You played hard to get long enough.”

“That’s fair,” Jaehwan replied. “I’m already gotten anyway, no point pretending I’m not.”

Sanghyuk broke into a wide, bright smile, one of those smiles that made his eyes crinkle and his nose scrunch up. “You admit it so easily now.”

“I spent too long denying it. It feels nice being able to be honest about my feelings for you,” Jaehwan admitted, the hand that had been resting on Sanghyuk’s shoulder sliding up to the back of his neck. “I’ve wasted too much time.”

“We both did,” Sanghyuk agreed. “I’m not letting you go now.”

“I’m not going anywhere,” Jaehwan promised with a smile, one that Sanghyuk easily wiped away with a kiss. Once they parted, Jaehwan looked up at Sanghyuk more seriously. “No matter what happens in the next few days, promise me you’ll be careful?”

“I promise. Do you promise the same?”

“I promise,” Jaehwan said with a firm nod. “I don’t want to lose you now, after everything—”

“Hey, none of that,” Sanghyuk gently shushed him, kissing the corner of his mouth gently. “We’re going to be fine, Jyani. We’ll go home soon.”

Jaehwan huffed, amused, and gave up the structure of a proper dance posture in favor of wrapping his arms around Sanghyuk, head tucked under his chin and face hidden against his chest.

“I’m already home.” 

 

✶✶✶

 

Wonshik was not in the mood to party, but he was making an effort to at least not look  _ too _ grouchy. The ale they were serving was good - the content of at least a couple of those mystery barrels at the cargo hold - and so was the food, there was music and there was laughter.

Jaehwan and Sanghyuk were dancing together in their own little world in a corner, Hakyeon was dancing with the girls of his old crew as Taekwoon watched him with adoration from the sidelines, and Hongbin— Hongbin was relatively away from the festivities, watching the ocean from the rails. Wonshik was trying not to look his way; any time he did, he felt… Strange. Like there was a fish hook in his heart and someone was tugging at it, wanting to reel him in closer to where Hongbin was, and he didn’t— He wasn’t sure if he wanted to give in to it.

He missed Hongbin. Not even as a lover, but as a friend; his snark, his wit, how observant and intelligent he was. He missed his presence, quiet but solid,  _ there _ , next to him. It was Wonshik’s own fault for growing so used to his presence, so— So addicted to it. It was stupid of him, but there it was, staring at him in the face. He missed Hongbin, but being near him was too painful. Even at the distance they were, on opposite ends of the ship, was already too painful.

It hurt being away from him, it hurt being near him. He couldn’t win.

At that moment though, he thought he could blame it on the few drinks he had, blame it on how the alcohol made him feel fuzzy in the head, made him braver and more determined. He knew he hadn’t really had that much to drink, but still— It was a good enough excuse.

So he got up against his better judgment - because he was drunk and judgment wasn’t a thing that drunk people had to worry about - and beelined towards where Hongbin was standing, leaning on the rails and looking out to the moonlit ocean. It didn’t help how beautiful, how ethereal Hongbin looked at that moment, with the glittering water framing him and the moonglow acting almost as a spotlight, making it impossible for Wonshik to look away.

He should have looked away.

As he came closer, he noticed Hongbin wasn’t completely alone - perched on his shoulder, cuddled up happily against the crook of his neck, was Deceit.

To think he had believed Hongbin hated Deceit for so long when they were partners in crime from the start—

Like always, Hongbin noticed Wonshik’s presence before he was even close enough to reach out and touch him. “If you came to yell at me again, please just do it. Get it over with.”

Wonshik frowned at that immediate request, but came to a stop only when he was standing next to Hongbin by the rails. “I didn’t come to yell at you.”

“Oh. That’s a relief, then.”

“I guess,” Wonshik mumbled, a heavy, awkward silence falling in the space between them. Maybe he shouldn’t have gone to Hongbin, but… He was there. Better say something. “I… I just wanted to say that I appreciate you helping us at that inn. You— You saved our lives, and— Thank you.”

Hongbin stared at him for a moment, looking puzzled, before finally nodding briefly in response. “Of course I helped. I would never let anything bad happen to you if I could prevent it.”

_ Or if you didn’t plan it yourself _ , Wonshik bitterly thought. He didn’t say that out loud, however, instead opting to say, “Thank you, I can appreciate that.”

“Mhm, you’re welcome, I suppose.”

“How did you know where to find us?” Wonshik asked one of the many things that had been on his mind.

Hongbin huffed a short laugh. “I just had to find the nearest cluster of trouble. Wasn’t hard.”

“And you just knew we were at that village?”

“I’m going to save you some time,” Hongbin said, lighthearted. “Speed? I stole a horse just outside Nevarra City. Location? I know you guys and could deduce the route you’d take, from there all I had to do was follow the gigantic bronto tracks. The rest was timing and luck, because, well. A burning building is hard to miss. Does that cover everything?”

Wonshik sighed and looked away from Hongbin, towards the ocean ahead. “Yes. Yes, it does.”

“You don’t have to believe me.”

“I know.”

“I have no more reasons to lie, though,” Hongbin continued, also turning his gaze ahead, to the sea. “Not that it matters now.”

“It matters,” Wonshik murmured. “It all matters.”

Hongbin lowered his head, Deceit burrowing closer to him. Wonshik didn’t want to think it was cute, but alas. “Not for long.”

“Ah, right. You’re leaving.”

“Yes.”

“Where will you go?”

“Far enough.”

Wonshik couldn’t help but scoff at that reply, “Typical.” Hongbin didn’t reply, and Wonshik decided to continue. “All you do is leave.”

“It’s for the best. You know it is.”

“I don’t know anything,” Wonshik shook his head as he spoke, running one trembling hand through his hair. “Not when it comes to you.”

Hongbin hummed, pensive and solemn. Wonshik wanted to both push him overboard and pull him to himself.

“Were you always planning to leave?”

There it was. The question Wonshik had been the most afraid to ask. Hongbin was quiet for a long time, staring at the dark waters below. “It would depend.”

“On what?”

“You know the answer to that already.”

Wonshik took a deep breath. Hongbin might not have reasons to lie anymore, but it was like he just couldn’t speak plainly which was almost just as bad. “I don’t. I told you, I don’t know anything.”

“Do you remember what I said? On the night of the ball, at the balcony,” Hongbin said, and Wonshik was confused for only a split second before realizing where that conversation was going. “I asked you to come with me.”

“I remember,” Wonshik replied. “Even you had to know it was a stretch to believe I’d agree to leave with you, though.”

“Mhm, I did. It was still worth the try.”

“Would you have stayed if I said no?”

“If you asked… I think I would have, yes.”

“And now?” Wonshik asked, surprising even himself. 

Hongbin scoffed and shook his head, lifting his head to face the starry sky. “Don’t do this.”

“I’m just asking you a question.”

“You’re giving me hope.”

“I’m not. This is not what this is about, I just want to know if— If there would be a chance for us, if you hadn’t done what you did. Would you have stayed?”

“Of  _ course _ ,” Hongbin answered immediately, no hesitation, his tone hard almost as if he was surprised Wonshik didn’t know that already at the same time he turned his head to face him. “I know it might be hard to believe this, but if you said the word I would have dropped everything.”

“And if I asked you now, after everything?”

“You won’t ask me,” Hongbin muttered and lowered his head again. “It’s a moot point.”

“Humour me.”

“Oh, guardsman Kim,” Hongbin said, a sad smile on his lips as he shook his head incredulously. “If you asked me to jump off the ship right now I would do it. Is that answer enough?”

“Please, don’t jump off the ship, I feel like you’d do it just to prove your point,” Wonshik groaned and Hongbin chuckled through his nose. The noise was probably not meant to sound so charming.

“Don’t ask me to jump and I won’t. I imagine it would cause some general distress to the crew, let’s avoid that.”

“Deal.”

“I still mean it. You can ask anything of me, and I’ll give it to you - my life included.”

“I would never ask that.”

Hongbin shot him a look that was mournful and sad, and yet so full of affection, of  _ love _ , Wonshik was hit by an overwhelmingly strong feeling of— Of— He didn’t even know.  _ Loss _ .  _ Grief _ .  _ Love _ .

“I know. You are far too kind to ask it of anyone. The thing is… I have nothing left to lose. I lost everything and it was my own doing, so... I accept any punishment you wish to inflict upon me.”

“I don’t want to punish you, Hongbin,” Wonshik said, honest.

“Then what  _ do _ you want?”

Wonshik was quiet for a long time, staring at the water, mind running a mile per minute. What  _ did _ he want? He wanted to go back in time and prevent what happened, maybe grab Hongbin by the shoulders and shake the truth out of him, convince him not to do something so stupid. That’s the only thing that could fix anything, because now— It was too late. Nothing would fix it, nothing could make it better. It was done. His heart was broken, and punishing Hongbin or forgiving him wouldn’t change that. Nothing would.

Finally, he murmured his response. “I don’t know.”

Hongbin simply nodded, that sad smile back on his face. “Well… Let me know when you do.”

And saying such, he turned around and left, Deceit still happily perched on his shoulder, and disappeared into the inner area of the ship, leaving Wonshik behind with only the moonlit ocean and the infinite stars for company.

 

✶✶✶

 

All things considered, Hakyeon was feeling much better than he had been earlier. He was still angry over what happened with Wongeun and was avoiding him like the Blight itself, but that was the only thing dampening his mood. He was amongst good friends, dancing and having fun, and while they still hadn’t talked, he and Taekwoon weren’t acting so distant anymore. Taekwoon was right there, sitting down on the floor and watching him dance with his friends with a look of deep affection in his eyes. There was no jealousy there, no urge to claim possession and trap him. It was something Hakyeon had felt with Wongeun in the past, that possessiveness, the constant need to claim Hakyeon as his own, and maybe that was what killed their relationship. Wongeun forcing him to choose between one of his loves or the other was the tug that snapped the cord, what made Hakyeon wake up from the daze love had placed over him and step back.

Wild animals in captivity don’t live very long. Hakyeon and Taekwoon were both wild animals, in their own ways; they were free and used to roam. The only difference was the environment.

When Hakyeon thought of their situation like that, it made sense to him what Taekwoon was going through. He was feeling trapped and out of place - a wild animal in a cage, trying to accept his new situation instead of baring his teeth. As far as wild animals go, Taekwoon was a fairly docile one.

Which meant he felt hurt much more deeply. And he was hurting.

But Hakyeon would take care of that. He would take care of Taekwoon - he deserved to be taken care of after the lonely life he had to lead up to that point.

After twirling around with Yerim one last time, Hakyeon excused himself and approached Taekwoon, plopping on the floor next to him and immediately pressing a kiss to his cheek.

“Are you going to come dance with me?” Hakyeon asked, not really expecting Taekwoon to say yes - he knew Taekwoon preferred to do his dancing with him in private and in dreams where nobody could see.

“If I could dance, I would,” Taekwoon replied, lips inches from his ear so Hakyeon could hear his soft voice over the music.

“You know you can dance, but I get it,” Hakyeon replied, cuddling closer to his boyfriend when a colder draft of wind blew past him. “You owe me a dance, darling.”

“As many as you want, ma vhenan.”

“All of them, I want all of them,” Hakyeon mumbled as he nuzzled Taekwoon’s neck, making his love giggle.

“Alright, all of them,” Taekwoon said, laughing. “I think you are a little drunk.”

“Mhm, maybe. Just a little bit,” Hakyeon replied, and, true, he was a little tipsy. Not that tipsy though, he’d only had one cup of wine to drink - alcohol just tended to go straight up to his head. “I’m more happy than drunk.”

“Happy?”

“Mhm, very happy. I just missed you a lot.”

“I’m sorry,” Taekwoon muttered and Hakyeon looked up to meet his eyes, smiling.

“No apologies necessary,” he said. “You did nothing wrong, dearest.”

“I made you sad.”

“And now you’re making me happy, see?” Hakyeon motioned to himself to accompany his words, a cheeky grin plastered on his face. Taekwoon chuckled, and Hakyeon decided that was enough to know he wasn’t upset anymore. “Did you eat anything?”

“Yes, I’ve eaten,” Taekwoon responded. “Wonshik brought me a full plate of food earlier.”

“Remind me to give him a kiss later,” Hakyeon joked, and again Taekwoon giggled; maybe his boyfriend had a little bit to drink himself. “Want to go downstairs then? Have that talk?”

Taekwoon’s smile faltered a bit, but he nodded in response. Hakyeon tried to give him an encouraging smile paired with a kiss on the cheek before getting up, reaching out a hand to help Taekwoon do the same. Fingers laced together, they walked around the edges of the deck towards the stairs, and all the while Hakyeon could feel eyes on his back; he could easily guess it was Wongeun, giving them the death glare of jealousy. Well. He could suck it.

Hakyeon led Taekwoon downstairs to their cabin - which Hakyeon had used by himself so far, while Taekwoon was sulking in the cargo hold with Wonshik - and promptly closed the door behind him. There was a little latch on the door, and he made sure to shut that as well. He didn’t want anyone interrupting them.

Once he turned around, he found Taekwoon standing in the middle of the very cramped cabin, looking around with a little hitch between his brows. He couldn’t blame him - it was a very tiny cabin, as were all ship cabins by default, and the cot available could barely fit one person let alone two tall men, but Hakyeon was hoping the lack of room to move in there would make it more romantic and less inconvenient. He wasn’t sure Taekwoon shared that sentiment.

“Come here, honey,” Hakyeon called as he sat down on the cot, and Taekwoon promptly did as asked and took a seat next to him, scooting closer so their sides were touching. He grabbed one of Taekwoon’s hands with one of his own and brought it up to his lips so he could press a soft kiss to his knuckles. “I’m sorry, Taekwoonie.”

“Hakyeon—”

“Let me finish?” Hakyeon asked sweetly, and after receiving a nod from Taekwoon as confirmation he continued. “I should have thought everything through. I was so excited about the idea of us living together that it didn’t occur to me that it could be overwhelming for you. I’m always the one who starts raving about wanting this and wanting that and you always go along with me, and I— I lose sight of reality. And I hurt you, and I’m so sorry, baby.”

“I’m sorry too,” Taekwoon murmured, eyes low. “I should have said something instead of pretending I was fine. I tried getting used to it, I truly did, but— It’s so much to take in.”

“You’re not made for big cities and small apartments,” Hakyeon said, smiling, moving one hand to cup Taekwoon’s face. “I know that now, and I won’t try to force you to live in Cumberland.”

Taekwoon’s expression fell and he lowered his head, looking away from Hakyeon. “I understand.”

Hakyeon immediately realized what Taekwoon had assumed and, wide-eyed, said in a loud voice, “What— No, no, no, I didn’t mean we’ll break up or live separately!”

Taekwoon chanced a glance up, hair hiding half of his features. Hakyeon made a mental note to braid it the next day. “No?”

“No, of course not,” Hakyeon said, firm, and pulled Taekwoon to himself into a tight hug. “We won’t live in Cumberland, but we’ll find somewhere we can both be happy.”

“Won’t it be inconvenient for you?” Taekwoon asked, insecure and shy. He was so cute.

“Not in the slightest. We both enjoy traveling and walking, even if we live outside of a city or village we can always walk over to a settlement if we need to.”

“What of your friends? Your dancing?”

“As I said, we enjoy traveling. You can always come with me, and if you don’t want to that’s fine too, because it’ll mean you’ll be home waiting for me.”

“Home…” Taekwoon echoed under his breath and Hakyeon beamed at him.

“Home. Our home.”

“I would like that,” Taekwoon finally said, the ghost of a smile playing on his lips.

“Mhm, me too. A little cottage in the middle of the woods would suit us nicely, I think,” Hakyeon said and rested his head on Taekwoon’s shoulder. “I could plant a little garden.”

“Can we have halla?”

Hakyeon chuckled and nodded, kissing Taekwoon’s chubby cheek repeatedly. “Yes, we can have halla. We can have a whole halla herd if you want.”

Taekwoon smiled, pleased, and Hakyeon could melt with how smitten he was. Those plans were certainly much better than living in Cumberland, no matter how adorable a city it was.

“We’ll have a really big bed too,” Hakyeon continued. “A big room for us, and comfortable, with big windows to let the sunlight in.”

“I want that,” Taekwoon said.

“Mhm, I want that too.”

Hakyeon nuzzled Taekwoon’s nose with his own before pressing sweet, fluttery kisses to his lips. They could make it work. They could meet halfway, find balance. They were good for each other, they were so good together - they respected and supported each other, didn’t make demands, were caring and understanding. They could absolutely make it work.

“Hakyeon?” Taekwoon called, and the shyness in his voice made Hakyeon frown.

“Yes, dearest?”

“What— What Wongeun said earlier about… About sex,” Taekwoon stammered out, face flushed bright pink. So cute.

Hakyeon sighed and shook his head. “Nothing he said is true, hm? He’s just jealous and trying to convince me he’s a better option than you, but there are no other options, I want you and you alone.”

Taekwoon bit his lips and nodded slightly before asking, “You really don’t mind?”

“No, I don’t. I know he made it sound like I’m a sex addict or something, but I promise you I’m not. I mean, sure, I  _ do _ like sex, but I don’t need it,” Hakyeon said and pressed a kiss to Taekwoon’s forehead. “I love you, baby. I’ll continue to love you no matter what, even if you never feel ready enough for sex.”

“Really?”

“Really, really. Only when you’re ready.”

“Ar lath ma, vhenan,” Taekwoon whispered next to his ear and Hakyeon looked at him with confusion. Taekwoon smiled softly and helpfully translated, “I love you, my heart.”

Hakyeon made an involuntary squeaking noise and peppered kisses all over Taekwoon’s face. He loved him so much. Just the way he was, quiet and shy and innocent, but so strong and driven at the same time, so intelligent and kind; Hakyeon hoped Taekwoon could see just how wonderful he was someday, that he would think of himself in a better light, think of himself as someone who deserved love. Hakyeon would strive towards that goal, to show Taekwoon just how loved he was. 

He couldn’t wait for the future they would have, the brilliant, happy future he could see in his mind.

May Andraste let them walk away from that voyage alive to make that future a reality.

 

✶

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> guys  
> g u y s
> 
> guess what
> 
> next week will be the last chapter :3 that said, i want to do it justice and make sure it's good enough, so i don't know if it'll be up on friday as usual - it might come a little earlier, it might come a little later. i'll probably give updates on the progress on twitter!


	29. Forsaken

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's time........... the last chapter.  
> (warnings for gore and general graphic violence)
> 
> enjoy!♡ ~~and please don't kill me ~~~~~~

✶

 

Hakyeon enjoyed mornings after a party on a ship - most of the crew was too hungover to be noisy, so the deck was peaceful and quiet, and stirring the ship was much easier since there were no distractions. That day, in particular, the quiet was welcome - there was a thick fog all around them, making vision difficult and demanding much more attention than a sunny day would. Hakyeon lifted his eyes from the compass, the jewel steadily pointing ahead just as it had been since they set sail, and looked around the deck.

Hongbin was talking to a few of the girls at the front of the ship, all the way across the deck, Deceit happily perched on his shoulder; it was cute how much Deceit seemed to like Hongbin, and how much Hongbin seemed to like Deceit back now that he didn’t have to pretend to hate it. Sanghyuk and Jaehwan were sitting by the main mast, Sanghyuk’s back propped up against it and Jaehwan comfortably settled between his legs, resting against his chest, reading a book. Sanghyuk looked relaxed and comfortable with his arms wrapped around Jaehwan, eyes closed, the ghost of a smile on his lips; Hakyeon couldn’t tell if he was asleep or just enjoying the moment.

And Taekwoon was sitting close by, a few steps away, cross-legged on the floor in front of Wonshik with a row of cards in his hands, since Wonshik had decided to try to teach him how to play Wicked Grace. It was so  _ cute _ \- Taekwoon was so focused, a little hitch between his brows as he stared at the cards in his hands, while Wonshik patiently explained the rules to him with a fond look on his face. It was just adorable.

Hakyeon was happy that Taekwoon was getting close to someone other than himself. Wonshik was good - a good person and a good influence - and Taekwoon, someone who had been alone for most of his life, needed friends like Wonshik. Taekwoon… Taekwoon was like a flower bud that was still closed over halfway through spring, and Hakyeon could see that he was slowly starting to bloom. Taekwoon deserved to bloom, deserved to give others a chance to love him and care for him, to learn that not everyone would leave him. He needed to know just how much he deserved to be loved.

Likely sensing eyes on him, Taekwoon looked up from his cards to meet Hakyeon’s gaze, a loving smile creeping onto his face, one that Hakyeon could only mirror in return. He was happy. He was so happy, happy enough he could just start laughing like a lunatic. He didn’t, though.

“Maker, you’re so whipped,” he heard Solji say next to him, laughter in her voice, and turned around to look at her. “The way you two look at each other, I’ve never seen anything sweeter in my whole life.”

Hakyeon chuckled, not embarrassed in the slightest, and said, “We just love each other very much, is all.”

“I saw you two all cuddled up last night before you went downstairs. You are so sweet I think I might have a few cavities now.”

“Oh, you have no idea,” Hakyeon said with a smile. “You can ask Hongbin, I’m sure he’ll just love to tell you just how gross we are.”

“Maybe I will,” Solji teased. “Though maybe when Wongeun is not within earshot.”

She motioned with her head to indicate something on the deck, and Hakyeon didn’t have to look to know she meant Wongeun, standing there, brooding, staring at him and occasionally glaring at Taekwoon. Hakyeon had been ignoring his presence entirely.

He rolled his eyes and sighed, unbothered. “Yeah, well. It’s his problem if he couldn’t move on.”

“As long as he remains ‘civil’. I won’t have a sausage battle on my ship.”

Hakyeon laughed at that and shook his head. “You don’t have to worry, at least not on Taekwoon’s part. He made a vow to avoid needless violence.”

“Can’t say the same about Wongeun,” Solji sighed. “We both know how hot-headed he can be sometimes.”

“It will also be his problem. My Taekwoonie would kick his ass so fast he would travel back in time.”

Solji barked a loud laugh at that, throwing her head back in a way that her long black hair almost whipped Hakyeon in the face. “I’m torn between wanting to put that to the test and being terrified if it’s true.”

“It’s definitely true,” Hakyeon said, and then added after a short pause. “Though it wouldn’t come to that, I’d throw Wongeun off the ship before he could lay a hand on my Taekwoonie.”

“The way you talk, I’m getting really concerned about the general state of cleanliness in your cabin. I feel bad for the new girls who are in charge of keeping my ship clean,” Solji said, breezy. “I remember the horror it used to be when you were with Wongeun.”

“You don’t have to worry about Taekwoonie and I. We haven’t— Not yet,” Hakyeon said, just now feeling bashful as he grinned to himself. “Our cabin will be pristine, that I assure you. Can’t say the same about Sanghyuk and Jaehwan, though; they’re like horny rabbits in heat.”

“I figured as much,” Solji said with a sigh, then looked at Hakyeon with a fond glint in her eyes. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you this smitten. Or this happy.”

“I am. I really am,” Hakyeon answered with a smile, looking towards Taekwoon again. “I think I found it. My endgame.”

“I’m almost jealous,” Solji said, playful. “But only almost.”

“Yes, yes, the old ‘love is a distraction, I have a ship to run’,” Hakyeon mimicked Solji’s voice and received a soft slap on the arm in retaliation. “Someday you’re going to find the one, the girl of your dreams, someone who is strong and beautiful and know how to run a ship, and when that happens I will laugh and say I told you so.”

“Sometimes I think you have an unhealthy obsession with love. Other days, like right now, I’m absolutely  _ sure _ you have a very unhealthy obsession with love.”

“It’s not unhealthy, it’s perfectly adequate,” Hakyeon said and sniffed, looking down at the compass again. He frowned, then looked up again. “Uh… Solji?”

Solji followed his line of sight and groaned. “Of  _ course _ that’s where we’re headed. I should have known, the moment I got your message saying you needed some help, I should have known it wouldn’t be just pick you up and drop you off at a nice beach somewhere.”

“What’s up?”

Hongbin appeared seemingly out of nowhere next to them, startling Hakyeon just a little. “Binnie, when did you get here?”

“Literally right now. I just saw you two looking… ‘Distressed’ and decided to check if everything’s alright.”

“Everything’s definitely  _ not _ alright,” Solji replied. “See there? The little black dots in the distance?”

Hongbin looked towards where Solji pointed, squinting a little to be able to see that far ahead and through the fog - the only reason Hakyeon had noticed them was thanks to the sudden shift in the wind that cleared away the mist for a moment. “Huh. Yeah, I see it. Sorta.”

“That place is said to be cursed,” Hakyeon said with a sigh. “No ship ever goes near it, and if any of them ever did, they never came back.”

“Oh. Now I get what the problem is.”

“It’s a well-known legend in the Raider circles,” Solji said, placing both hands on her hips as she stared at the little black dots ahead. “Of course nobody can confirm or deny whatever is in there, but word goes around. Monsters, ghosts, a massive whirlpool—”

“Mermaids, a witch, a giant octopus—” Hakyeon carried on.

“I heard it could also be treasure. Ancient treasure buried on a cursed island,” Solji said and then sighed, dreamy. “Please, let it be treasure.”

“If it’s treasure it’ll be  _ cursed _ treasure, Solji,” Hongbin wisely pointed out.

“Nothing’s perfect.”

Hakyeon and Hongbin exchanged a silent look before turning ahead once more. “Well, whatever it is, it definitely has something to do with this jewel. As long as we have it with us, I think we’ll be safe.”

Solji didn’t look too convinced with Hakyeon’s words and simply shrugged. “Yeah, let’s just hope those sharp scary rocks don’t tear my ship apart before we get there.”

“Sharp scary rocks?” Hongbin asked, one eyebrow raised.

“The place is full of rock formations that are… Sharp and scary,” Hakyeon helpfully explained. Hongbin just rolled his eyes and began walking away.

“I’ll let the others know we’ll be there soon.”

“Tell Taekwoonie I love him while you’re at it.”

“Never, go be gross yourself instead of dragging me into it.”

Hakyeon sighed. “It was worth the try.”

The next couple of hours were spent gathering their belongings and preparing for— Whatever it was waiting for them. They had their weapons, they had some food and water, they had potions Jaehwan had prepared beforehand, in Cumberland. And Hakyeon had the jewel, attached to the compass hanging from his neck. They had everything they could need, or at least, everything they thought they would need.

Jaehwan was still fervently reading books, pouring over tome after tome, searching for anything that could help them, even if he had a very limited amount of books now. Sanghyuk and Hongbin were trying to help, but they didn’t seem to be making much progress. Taekwoon and Wonshik, on the other hand, were busying themselves with sharpening all of their weapons for the fight that was certainly coming - they were making more progress on their task by default.

Hakyeon continued by Solji’s side, making sure they were on the right course. He was not so secretly hoping the compass would have a change of heart and point somewhere else, but no - the (allegedly cursed) rock formations were getting closer and closer as the ship continued en route, directly at them.

There was no mistake: that was their destination.

Hakyeon cursed under his breath as he stared at the compass, noticing how Solji shot him a look from the corner of his vision; she said nothing, though. She didn’t need to say anything, Hakyeon was already very aware of how poorly that entire thing could go.

“Uhm… Hakyeon?”

Upon hearing his name, Hakyeon turned around to find Yerim standing next to him, wringing her fingers nervously and bouncing on the balls of her feet, looking apprehensive. Hakyeon frowned immediately and asked, “What’s wrong, Yerim? Did something happen?”

“It’s— Uh— Can I talk to you?” she asked, voice just short of squeaky, betraying just how anxious she was.

“Of course,” Hakyeon immediately replied, and Solji, who’d been listening all along, just made a gesture with her hand that said ‘shoo, go, I’m fine on my own’. Hakyeon shot her a smile and followed Yerim just a few steps away, closer to the railings, and once they were standing side by side he asked, “Alright, what’s up? You look nervous.”

“I… I wanted to apologize,” Yerim said, head tipped down, the tips of her ears reddened.

Hakyeon arched an eyebrow at that. “Apologize for what?”

“For… For inviting Wongeun,” she replied, meek. “I just— I thought it would be nice if you two got back together, but I didn’t know you had a new boyfriend, I didn’t mean to make things awkward.”

“Aw, Yerim,” Hakyeon cooed and pulled her to a hug. “You don’t have to apologize for that. As you said, you didn’t know.”

“I still shouldn’t have done it,” her voice was muffled by Hakyeon’s embrace when she spoke. “Sooyoungie keeps telling me that I shouldn’t get involved in things that aren’t my concern, but I wanted to see you happy!”

“It’s truly alright. You couldn’t have known, my relationship with Taekwoon is relatively new still, it’s not like word could have gotten around so fast.”

“I’m really sorry if I made you uncomfortable, I didn’t mean to.”

“I know,” Hakyeon promised her, stroking her hair affectionately. “Even if it backfired a little, I’m really touched to know you wanted to make me happy.”

“You mean that?” Yerim asked, looking up at him with what Hakyeon could only describe as ‘puppy eyes’.

“Of course I mean it.”

“Alright,” she said, not entirely convinced but getting there. Then her expression went from anxious to mischievous - Hakyeon blinked and there it was. “Is your new boyfriend really a Dalish elf?”

Hakyeon laughed at the question and nodded, “Yes, he is really a Dalish elf.”

“Does he treat you well? Does he make you happy?”

“Yes and yes.”

“Is he better than Wongeun?”

Hakyeon sighed and smiled fondly at Yerim before replying, “I can’t weigh their characters against each other, they both have qualities and flaws like anyone else. Now, if I were to compare how compatible they are with me, how well we work together, then… Yes, I think Taekwoon is much better for me.”

Yerim narrowed her eyes at him suspiciously, “That so?”

“Mhm, that so. Wongeun wasn’t bad for me, not really, but Taekwoon… I feel like Taekwoon really understands me and accepts who I am. That’s really important in a relationship, to have someone who sees you for who you are and loves you for it. Someone who doesn’t want to change you.”

“Hm. I see,” Yerim said. After a few seconds of quiet contemplation, she declared, “Fine, I’ll give him my seal of approval.”

Hakyeon chuckled and pressed a kiss to the top of her head, “Thank you, dear.”

“But he doesn’t talk much,” Yerim said and twisted her mouth judgmentally.

“He made a vow of silence.”

“Then he doesn’t talk to you?”

“I’m special,” Hakyeon said, grinning smugly at Yerim. “He talks a lot if it’s me. He even sings to me sometimes.”

Yerim made a cute squeaking sound upon hearing that information. “That’s so romantic!”

“He’s very romantic. I don’t think he even realizes just how romantic he is,” Hakyeon commented, glancing over at where Taekwoon was sitting with Wonshik, sharpening a dagger. “He sings to me, takes me on dates under the moonlight, supports my dancing career, he almost died to save my life, our first kiss was when he took me to see the halla, we—”

“He what?” Yerim interrupted Hakyeon, looking alarmed. “He almost died to save your life!?”

“Yes!” Hakyeon confirmed, perhaps a little too chipper considering the topic. “I won’t go into detail because there are parts of it that are— Personal,” Hakyeon said, careful, glancing over at Taekwoon again. “I was wounded during a fight, and I lost— So much blood. Taekwoon did everything he could to save me and almost ended up dying himself. He only didn’t because Hongbin worked his own magic, otherwise… He wouldn’t be here now. And he did it without expecting anything in return, only because he cared—  _ Cares _ about me so much.”

Yerim looked positively stunned at the story - stunned  _ and _ smitten. “Wow… If that’s true then… Yes, he’s good enough for you.”

Hakyeon giggled, giddy, and nodded repeatedly. “He is, he’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me.”

“He better take care of you properly or I’ll kick his ass,” Yerim said decisively, crossing her arms and scowling to look meaner. Didn’t work - Yerim couldn’t possibly look mean. 

“I really don’t think you have to worry about that,” Hakyeon mused, side-eyeing Taekwoon fondly. The last thing Hakyeon was worried about was Taekwoon not taking care of him, on the contrary, he was worried about not being able to take care of Taekwoon as much as Taekwoon took care of him. Taekwoon, who would rather be uncomfortable than denying Hakyeon anything - how could he ever top that much dedication? How could anyone?

Hakyeon was going to end up a spoiled brat in no time. He could see it, could visualize it in his mind’s eye. If - and that was a big  _ if _ \- their relationship ever came to an end, Hakyeon would never find someone to fill Taekwoon’s space, because nobody would be so committed to making him happy; Taekwoon would forever be the standard to every single one of Hakyeon’s relationships, and really? He was fine with that. More than fine. 

And the vast majority of his friends approved of him, which was always a plus. He had no doubt that his mother would adore Taekwoon as well once they visited her. 

It all fell into place.

“What the—” Hakyeon heard Solji mutter and turned to her to see what was wrong. She was scowling at the horizon, but not the horizon that was ahead of them - the one behind them.

“What’s wrong?” Hakyeon asked, both himself and Yerim returning to her side.

“I thought I saw—” Solji started but interrupted herself and shook her head. “I might be imagining things.”

“What did you see?” Hakyeon asked, squinting at the fog in search of whatever it was Solji had seen. Of course, he saw nothing.

“I don’t even know,” Solji said with a sigh and turned to Yerim. “Can you keep watch on the crow’s nest? Just in case.”

“Aye aye,” Yerim agreed and, giving a cheeky mock salute to Solji, turned on her heels and moved to do what she was asked to do.

Solji rolled her eyes and said, “Sometimes I want to punch her but that would be child abuse.”

Hakyeon laughed but didn’t reply, both of them focusing on the task of keeping the ship on its route, the fog parting and closing before them, dancing according to the wind. As the rocks came closer and closer, Hakyeon’s concern grew stronger. The waters were calm, so they wouldn’t have to worry about being thrown around too much, but there were other potentially dangerous probabilities that could be just as deadly. The rocks could damage the ship, cause it to flood and sink; they could become stuck between two of the rocky formations if the ship proved too wide to pass. And not to mention whatever it was that dwelled in that part of the ocean, be it a sea creature or a curse or a whirlpool.

Or, Hakyeon was more inclined to believe, an ancient dragon.

He tried to shake off the jitters and focus; giving in to the anxiety wouldn’t do anybody any favors. He had to keep a clear head and not panic, think of everything logically to make sure they weren’t making any mistakes.

“I’ll get Junghwa and Joohyun to keep the ship stable and make sure we don’t run into any trouble,” Solji suddenly said, likely noticing the concern in his expression. “It won’t be easy, but we’ve been through worse. They might not be Circle-trained like your nosey friend over there, but they are very competent mages.”

“I know,” Hakyeon said, giving Solji a smile. “I’m not as worried about getting there as I am of what we’ll find once we do.”

“Well, with that I can offer no help,” Solji told him and gave him a shrug before addressing the crew. “Ladies, to your assigned posts, we’re minutes away from our destination!”

All the women that had been loitering about on the deck immediately began to move, Solji’s authority unquestioned, and each of them simply knew where to go and what was expected of them - Hakyeon considered himself to have been a good captain, but Solji took it to a whole new level. Solji had always been a perfectionist, no wonder she would run a ship with the same flawless dedication. A true queen bee, if he’s ever seen any.

And then suddenly Wongeun approached them and Hakyeon got annoyed. 

“What do you need me to do?” Wongeun asked Solji, who shot him a sideways glance.

“I need you to find a comfortable place to sit down and stay put.”

“Solji! I can help, I have experience too!” Wongeun argued and Hakyeon rolled his eyes, not even bothering to hide it. He’d been friendly with Wongeun before, but after he’d talked down on Taekwoon every civil bone in Hakyeon’s body turned hostile towards him.

“I don’t need help, dear, you’re a guest on the ship and the girls are very good at their jobs.”

“But—”

“The best help you can give me is staying out of the way.”

“What about Hakyeonie?” Wongeun asked and Hakyeon pursed his lips not to curse out loud, slowly turning his head to Wongeun.

“Don’t call me that, you lost that privilege,” he said, very level and with a stiff smile that wasn’t supposed to be polite. “The only reason we’re here right now is because I asked Solji to help me with this, so… I have a purpose. You’re really only here as a guest, so go sit down.”

Wongeun narrowed his eyes at Hakyeon, looking mostly pissed, though there was still an underlying hint of sadness there.

Hakyeon looked away. It wasn’t his problem anymore. He wasn’t going to feel bad for standing his ground and defending his boyfriend, and he was definitely not going to feel bad for hurting Wongeun’s feelings - Wongeun was the one who started it, he should be a big boy and deal with the consequences.

Luckily for him, Wongeun caught the hint and moved away from them, presumably to find someplace to sit and stay out of the way.

Good.

By the time they reached the critical distance between the ship and the rocks, Hakyeon was less annoyed - his annoyance was swiftly replaced by concern, and… Something else. Something that prickled and itched, like thousands of tiny ants crawling under his skin. His heart was beating wrong, off tempo, too fast and then too slow. His breathing was strange too, like he couldn’t catch his breath no matter how deep he inhaled. Dread, dread slowly creeping in, leaking into the ship, infecting each and every person there. Solji was gripping the handle of the ship’s wheel so tight her knuckles had gone bone white, and Hakyeon didn’t have to look towards her to know she was shaking too.

Was the place really cursed? Was that what that feeling was?

Those rocks looked so much taller and pointier up close.

He felt a touch on his arm and jolted with surprise, too on edge to react any other way, and turned to find Taekwoon clinging to his sleeve like a frightened child, and that was more than enough to help him get a grip. He wrapped one arm around Taekwoon’s shoulders and pressed him tight against himself, letting him hide his face against his neck.

“You ok, baby?” he asked, a soft whisper in his ear, and Taekwoon nodded shakily in response.

“Are you?” Taekwoon asked in turn, and Hakyeon shifted his face just the slightest bit, only enough that he could see Taekwoon properly. “You’re shaking.”

“I’m alright,” Hakyeon replied and pressed a kiss to Taekwoon’s temple. Taekwoon looped his arms around his waist tight - Hakyeon decided that the terrible feeling of dread of worth it just for that moment.

“It’s a spell!” Jaehwan shouted from across the deck, and Hakyeon raised his eyes towards him. “It’s a repellent spell, everyone try to stay calm!”

Both Jaehwan and Sanghyuk were huddled together on the floor, Hongbin crouched against one of the railings next to them, and Wonshik was sat where he’d been before, but turned towards the hull and using his palms for balance. The crew was either crouched down or hanging onto anything they could reach; a couple people were crying with terror.

Poor Yerim, all the way up on the crow’s nest, all alone.

“Ladies, keep it together!” Solji ordered, voice firm despite how shaken she looked. “This is nothing compared to period cramps!”

Hakyeon couldn’t relate to that, but judging from the several positive exclamations that comment got, he decided it was a good enough analogy. He heard Taekwoon giggle against his neck.

It lasted about a couple minutes, and then just as it had begun, the feeling was gone; the relief on the ship was immediate, palpable. Taekwoon sagged against Hakyeon and sighed, tension bleeding out of him - Hakyeon shared the sentiment.

“There, it’s over,” Hakyeon stated the obvious, stroking Taekwoon’s cheek lovingly with his knuckles. “Feeling better?”

“Much,” Taekwoon murmured in response before pressing a kiss to Hakyeon neck. A smile crept onto his face and were they not in public he would have turned that chaste snuggling into a full make-out session, but as it was, he settled for squeezing Taekwoon playfully against himself.

“Stay up here with me?” Hakyeon asked, receiving a quick little nod as answer. Solji simply sighed next to them.

After that, it was all a matter of making sure the ship didn’t hit the rocks, and the two mages of the crew, Junghwa and Joohyun, were taking care of the more problematic areas. Solji had gone quiet, brow furrowed in concentration as she steered the ship, and Hakyeon tried not to distract her. He remained quiet, still snuggled up against Taekwoon, both watching the compass intently. Still pointing forward.

“Oh, shit,” Jaehwan suddenly exclaimed. “I figured it out!”

“Jaehwanie, not right now,” Hakyeon shouted at him. “People are trying to focus!”

“But—!”

“After we’re out of the scary rock hell!”

Jaehwan huffed, annoyed, and crossed his arms like a sulky child. “Fine!”

Sanghyuk just gave him a few comforting pats on the shoulder. 

Hakyeon suddenly had a thought that, while he’d always loved and would always love the sea and had missed being on a Raider ship, he was more than ready for that journey to be over.

 

✶✶✶

 

Jaehwan sulked all the way through the maze of rock formations, the pout on his face not going anywhere even during the couple times the ship bumped on a sharp protrusion. He had very,  _ very _ important information to disclose, how dare they not listen to him?

“I’ll listen to what you found out,” Sanghyuk offered after a few minutes of sulking, and Jaehwan huffed at him.

“But then I’ll have to repeat it later!” he whined. “Let me be spiteful.”

Sanghyuk chuckled through his nose and simply nodded to agree, and thus, Jaehwan continued to sulk.

By the time they reached the center of that cluster of rocks, Jaehwan fully expected that they would reach a manner of an island, but no - more rocks, but these rocks much closer together, in the way that they formed a strange structure that vaguely resembled an enormous anthill. Jaehwan grimaced at the sight; he never did like ants, not after he fell right on top of an anthill as a child. Worst day ever.

There was, however, an opening that was much larger than the others there, a sort of cave, and Jaehwan suspected that was the place they needed to get to. He sighed and got up from the floor, Sanghyuk following suit, and gathered his belongings, the others doing the same where they were on the deck. It was only then that it hit Jaehwan that this was it - the point of no return. They were about head into the last location of that quest that not long ago felt as if it would never end. He stopped sulking and became anxious instead.

Sanghyuk seemed to notice his shift in mood and gently asked, “Nervous?”

Jaehwan gave him a brief look before moving his gaze back to that cave, one hand coming up to cling onto Sanghyuk’s sleeve as he answered with a clipped, “Yes.”

“It’ll be fine,” Sanghyuk said, and he sounded so  _ calm _ , how was he so calm? “I’ll protect you from the big bad dragon.”

Jaehwan bit his lips and scowled at the cave. 

It took a little while, but Solji successfully maneuvered the ship close enough to the cave that the gangplank could reach it and anchored down the vessel. Jaehwan’s hands were trembling.

While some of the girls were working on making sure the ramp was secured and safe to be walked on, they gathered near the main mast, and Jaehwan felt at least a little bit better once he saw the anxiety on each and every one of their faces. At least he wasn’t alone on that.

“You boys be careful in there,” Solji said as she gave each of them a tight hug. “We’ll be here waiting for you to come back.”

“Thank you so much for everything, Solji,” Hakyeon said, giving his friend one of his bright smiles. “You be careful too, just in case there really is a curse or giant sea monster lurking about.”

“It was great seeing all of you again,” Hongbin said with a smile, smile that disappeared instantly once his eyes fell on Wongeun. “Except you.”

Wongeun scoffed, “My thoughts exactly.”

And then something Jaehwan was really not expecting, even if he’d only learned about the situation and the history between Hakyeon and Wongeun recently - Wongeun turned to Taekwoon with a forced pleasant smile. Taekwoon only stared back at him, face blank of any emotion. It reminded Jaehwan of the first time they met Taekwoon, how difficult it used to be to read him.

“A shame we couldn’t speak more, I would have liked to get to know you better,” Wongeun said, that smile still plastered on his face. “I heard you made a vow of silence?”

Taekwoon blinked slowly at him, obviously measuring Wongeun and his intentions, and again to Jaehwan’s surprise, he spoke loud and clear.

“I just don’t like you.”

Hakyeon, who had been tense since the exchange began and ready to jump in if necessary, snorted and covered his mouth with one hand to contain his laughter - different from Hongbin who laughed openly at Wongeun’s expense. Taekwoon, on the other hand, said nothing else and simply turned around and left the ship alongside Wonshik, Wongeun watching them go with a mortified look on his face.

Hakyeon, still snickering, gave Wongeun a quick pat on the shoulder as he walked by him to follow the others. “I’d say it’s nothing personal, but it is.”

Jaehwan wasn’t sure if he should laugh along or feel bad for the guy, but then again, he didn’t think he would ever see Wongeun again after they were done with this Old God business. He laughed.

The fact that they were laughing as they left the ship did help to ease the jitters, at least a little bit. Laughter helped, laughter always helped, and Jaehwan knew this, had learned it from a young age - humor could always turn things around, and thus, they were all more focused, more level-headed once they finally reached the cave.

That is, until Wonshik saw something and screeched, “What the fuck is that!?”

“It’s just a tiny crab, you big baby,” Hakyeon said, laughing.

“Keep it away from me!”

Jaehwan looked around in search of the source of Wonshik’s distress and found a tiny little white, almost translucent crab disappearing through one of the cracks between the rocks. It couldn’t be larger than the tip of his pinky. Cute.

Sanghyuk didn’t pay much attention to the ruckus, continuing on ahead to the very back of the cave. It wasn’t a deep cave by any means - five steps at most to get to the back of it, so catching up to Sanghyuk was easy. The six of them could barely fit in there so small it was. Jaehwan squeezed his way through, looking around with both curiosity and caution. He felt— Odd. There was magic there, ancient and powerful, and though it didn’t feel hostile towards them, it was still potentially dangerous.

He stared at the wall for a moment, looking at it up and down and up again. Then he knocked on the rock at a few different spots, searching for a hollow point, but no - it was just rock. But there was something there, somewhere. He just knew.

He tried pushing the wall back next, and again was met with no result.

“Jyani?”

Jaehwan turned around to face Sanghyuk and ask if he needed anything, but the sight of him looking at something on the side wall of the cave caused the question to die on his lips. He followed his gaze and immediately perked up, coming closer to inspect it.

“That’s a socket, right?” Sanghyuk asked, staring at that point of the wall.

“It is! Hakyeon, where’s the jewel?”

“Here!” Hakyeon said, carefully making his way through from the back of the group where he’d been so far and putting the compass on Jaehwan’s outstretched palm.

Jaehwan carefully plucked the jewel from the compass and put it in the socket on the wall - a perfect fit.

And still nothing happened.

Jaehwan made a high pitched hissing sound and stomped his feet impatiently, causing Sanghyuk to laugh and loop one arm around his waist. “Calm down, Jyan.”

“Excuse me, let me see this,” Hongbin said, pushing through to get in front of the jewel on the wall, and after scowling at it for a few moments, he pushed the jewel deeper into the socket and twisted it clockwise.

The floor shook beneath them, making all of them scramble out of the way in case the ground was parting under their feet, but no - the wall was moving backwards, revealing an opening on the floor wide enough for one person to squeeze through. Jaehwan had some very vivid flashbacks of their time in the Silent Plains.

“Not this again,” Wonshik groaned, echoing Jaehwan’s thoughts.

Hongbin leaned forward over the passage and said, “There are stairs down there. A ladder of sorts.”

“What are we waiting for then, let’s go,” Sanghyuk said, reaching over to the wall to take the jewel back before going down the passage. After a few seconds, Sanghyuk exclaimed, “Maker’s moldy nutsack, it’s dark in here.”

“What did you expect, a magic crystal chandelier to light your way?” Hongbin asked as he rolled his eyes.

“Hang on, I can do something about that,” Jaehwan said, hurrying ahead and carefully entering the passage. The ladder there was made of old stone, similar to the ones that formed the cave, as if it had been sculpted directly into the rock - fascinating. Sanghyuk offered a hand to help him down safely, and Sanghyuk was right; even with the little light that leaked through the entrance, Jaehwan could barely see down there.

“Yeah, this just won’t do,” Jaehwan grumbled to himself as reached behind himself for his staff, easily tugging it free from the loose knot that had been holding it in place on his pack. He then opened the satchel he carried with him taking from there a needle he always made sure to have around - as a blood mage, he needed those little things here and there, so having one on him always came in handy. He simply pricked his thumb with it and put it back in its original place, before he smudged the droplet of blood that had welled on his digit on the staff, using it as a conduit to spell the staff to be a light source.

In only a few seconds, the tip of the staff was glowing and lighting up the area around them. It didn’t reach very far, but Jaehwan hadn’t expected it to; darkness like that was hard to cut through.

“Have I ever mentioned you’re the best at everything?” Sanghyuk asked him as he nuzzled his cheek, and Jaehwan giggled, playfully pushing him away.

“You might have, but hearing it again is very good for my ego,” Jaehwan answered and turned to the entrance. “You guys can come down, it’s safe.”

One by one they all descended into that passage, and once they were all inside, Sanghyuk -  _ again _ \- took the lead and began walking forward the short corridor. He didn’t go far before stopping and sighing. “Great. More stairs.”

“I really do  _ not _ want to know how far down into the ocean we’re going to go,” Hongbin said; in the dim glow of the staff, he looked sickly pale, ill.

Hopefully they wouldn’t have to swim their way back to the surface.

The first couple of minutes of their descent down those stairs, spiraling slowly down into the depths of the ocean, was completely silent, silent enough they could hear a pin drop. Their footsteps barely made any noise as they walked, all too cautious of whatever awaited below to make any sounds.

The more time passed, the more bored they became, so of course, that silence didn’t last for too long.

“So, what was that you wanted to tell us back on the ship?” Hakyeon asked, and Jaehwan perked up; he’d completely forgot about it.

“Oh, right! I figured it all out!”

“Figured what out?” Wonshik asked.

“It all!”

Sanghyuk snorted next to him while the others sighed. He felt Sanghyuk’s hand on his lower back, a quiet prompt for him to say what he had to say.

“Remember those books Junghwanie got for us? The one where we found out the name of this Old God had more information on it, I’ve been trying to translate it using a book on ancient tevene Hwanie gave me, and I finished it earlier!”

“Don’t leave us in suspense,” Hongbin deadpanned.

“So, Thalat was like, the very first dragon with godlike powers or something. No idea what that means, my translation skills aren’t the best,” Jaehwan started, motioning with his hands excitedly, “so then she had the other dragons, and those dragons also had powers, and as humanity began seeing them as gods, her children began to believe it.”

“I see where this is going,” Hakyeon muttered mostly to himself.

“Her children became proud with the constant adoration they were getting from mankind, and that pride did what pride tends to do and turned them into real assholes,” Jaehwan continued. “Thalat was different, though. She never liked the attention, and she tried convincing her children to stop accepting mankind’s devotion. That, of course, backfired, because her children didn’t want to give up the very good life they were living, they liked the attention and the power they held over humans, so they decided to just turn their backs on their mother.”

“That’s awful,” Hakyeon said, louder this time, and sounding offended on the dragon’s behalf.

“I  _ know _ , real jerks, right?” Jaehwan said and huffed, shaking his head. “They told mankind that their mother was working against them somehow and that she wanted to kill them all and destroy everything, or whatever it was they decided to go with to convince everyone their mother was evil, and it worked, because of course it worked.”

“I don’t like this story,” Wonshik said, and Taekwoon hummed in agreement.

“Everyone turned against her, all the shrines and temples in her honor were destroyed, because who would pray to a creature that hated them? But her children were still not satisfied, and they took it further - they convinced mankind that she should be forever erased from history and from memory, and that she should be… Eliminated.”

“Eliminated?” Hongbin echoed, contemplative. “I’m assuming they didn’t manage to kill her.”

“You’re right, they didn’t,” Jaehwan confirmed. “She was too powerful to be taken down by mere humans. So they sealed her away - here, possibly - and made it so she couldn’t escape without external help, because they feared she would want revenge if she managed to free herself.”

“Well. Shit,” Hongbin cursed. “So how the hell are we supposed to kill her?”

“We’re not going to kill her!” Jaehwan shrieked. “How dare you! After everything she’s been through!”

“Then why the fuck are we here!?”

“I don’t know!” Jaehwan responded, incensed. “To help her!”

“How are we going to help her, Jyani?” Sanghyuk asked, rubbing soothing circles on his back. “What if she does want revenge on mankind, then what?”

“This is what is left for me to figure out,” Jaehwan said and pulled the book of spells he’d gotten in Perendale from the inner pocket of his cape. “The answer is in here somewhere, I just know it.”

“Jyani—”

“No! I have this for a reason, I know there’s something, I just have to find out what it is.”

Silence fell again over the group, this time a heavy, tense sort of silence. The information was a lot to take in, and Jaehwan knew all of them would be turning it all over inside their heads, trying to piece everything together in a way that the goal of that journey made itself known.

Jaehwan had already decided, from the moment he learned of Thalat’s tale, that he was not going to let his friends do her any harm. He couldn’t. She’s been through so much pain already, betrayed by her own children and forsaken by history, turned into a monster she had never been, and it was just not fair to want to hurt her now, not after so long. Jaehwan shuddered just to think about how it was like for her, to be trapped under the ocean for eons, all alone in the dark. No, he couldn’t do her any harm.

But they couldn’t simply free her either.

And she was still there. He could feel her, her presence, like a siren song calling for him. Calling for help. She needed help.

He was going to help her no matter what.

It was still several minutes before they finally reached the end of the spiral stairs, all of them letting out a collective sigh of relief once they stepped out of it - it was very dizzying and disorienting, even more so in partial darkness, and Jaehwan could feel a headache creeping in. He was expecting - hoping, really - that the end of the staircase would lead directly to the chamber where Thalat was currently kept, but before them there was more darkness. A tunnel. Low ceiling, wide enough for two people to walk through side by side. Not made for a giant dragon to pass.

Whoever put her there really didn’t want her to have an easy time escaping. It just made Jaehwan angrier.

Jaehwan and Sanghyuk took the lead since Jaehwan was carrying the only light source, Sanghyuk keeping a protective arm looped around his shoulders, which he deeply appreciated. He shivered as he walked, pressing himself closer to Sanghyuk for warmth; it was freezing cold down there, and very difficult to breathe with the lack of air drafts, so far down into the ocean. And dark. So dark.

“This place is so creepy,” Hongbin commented as they walked. Jaehwan quietly agreed.

The walk through the tunnel was relatively short, and soon - but not soon enough - they found themselves before a door, made of what seemed to be very thick, resistant metal. Right in the middle of it, was another socket.

Sanghyuk promptly moved forward to place the jewel there and, like Hongbin had done earlier, he pushed and turned it clockwise. Immediately they heard what seemed to be gears moving, like a mechanism being activated, and it lasted for only a couple seconds before there was a click and the door swung slightly forward, open for them to pass.

Again, Sanghyuk plucked the jewel off the socket to take it with them and turned to Jaehwan as if asking if he should go ahead and open the door the rest of the way for them to pass. Jaehwan swallowed his nerves and gave him a quick nod in response.

The moment Sanghyuk pushed the door open, their jaws dropped.

It seemed to be an antechamber, grand and glittering, magical fire still burning and giving everything a faint blue glow. It was as if the walls, floor and ceiling of that room were covered in precious gems, reflecting the light and casting colorful shadows all around. And littering both sides of the chamber—

“Treasure!” Hakyeon exclaimed. “Solji was right, there’s treasure!”

“It’s probably cursed, Yeonie, don’t touch the treasure,” Hongbin said, cautious, side-eyeing the piles of gold and jewels against the walls. “No matter what the Raider in you might be telling you right now, don’t touch it.”

“Agreed,” Taekwoon mumbled.

“Not treasure, these are offerings,” Jaehwan corrected them. “These are gifts to appease her.”

That was enough to end the interest in the treasure for the time being.

They carefully stepped into the antechamber, Jaehwan forgetting for a moment that his staff was still emitting light before he quickly called his magic off. There was no need for another source of light there, when they were surrounded by that dreamlike brilliance, like millions of stars creating constellations on the walls.

And then they heard a sound that rumbled through the room, made the ground shake beneath their feet and dread to settle back in their hearts.

“Alright,” Sanghyuk said as he inhaled sharply. “That was definitely a dragon.”

“All in favor to take a moment to try to figure out a spell that can help our cause instead of continuing on ahead blindly?” Jaehwan asked, voice only a little higher in pitch.

Everyone agreed with no contest.

 

✶✶✶

 

Sanghyuk really was trying to help, he truly was. He had a book open in his hands and everything.

The only problem was— He couldn’t focus. He was more aware of Jaehwan’s presence next to him than he was of the words on the pages of the book he was supposed to be reading. Every little movement Jaehwan did, how he would sometimes hum to himself in contemplation, how his lips would jut out in the most adorable pouts when he was distracted. Fair, Sanghyuk had always preferred to keep his attention on Jaehwan no matter the circumstances, but at that specific moment, there was something different about it.

He felt— Full. About to burst. He’d been feeling like that for a while, but it was much more obvious now that they were in that underground mausoleum thing getting ready to come face to face to a god.

It was time. What did he have to lose?

Sanghyuk closed the book and left it aside before scooting closer to Jaehwan. So focused Jaehwan was he didn’t even notice the approach. Sanghyuk smiled to himself with mischief, and in a quick motion, leaned forward and gave Jaehwan a noisy kiss on the cheek.

Jaehwan spluttered with the surprise it caused him and turned to Sanghyuk, wide-eyed. “Wha—”

“I love you,” Sanghyuk said, simple, straightforward. He thought about the many ways he could say those words, all the grand gestures he could perform, but this— It felt right. Just saying it. Just the truth, nothing more and nothing less.

Jaehwan blinked, once, twice, the color rising on his face all the way up to the tips of his ears. “You— Of all times you could say this, you chose to do it  _ now _ !?”

“Yes,” Sanghyuk’s smile widened into an amused grin after his simple response.

“Couldn’t you have done this, I don’t know, last night after the party?”

“My mouth was busy.”

Jaehwan made a noise so high pitched Sanghyuk was sure all dogs in Thedas were going berserk. “Hyogi!”

“Shouldn’t I have said it? I can take it back if—”

“Are you crazy!?” Jaehwan interrupted him as he scrambled to push the book out of his lap so he could turn and loop both arms around Sanghyuk’s neck, pulling him to the sloppiest, messiest, most wonderful kiss of his life. It didn’t last long; Jaehwan pulled away after only a few seconds, eyes bright, starry, and said, “I love you too, you idiot.”

Sanghyuk could only smile in response, laugh with giddiness, and pull Jaehwan to another kiss, this one deeper and more eager, a million things conveyed through that act alone.

“We don’t have time for this,” Jaehwan said between one kiss and the next, though he didn’t seem inclined to stop kissing Sanghyuk any time soon. “I have— I have to keep searching for a spell.”

“Just a little more,” Sanghyuk insisted, hands gripping Jaehwan’s hips possessively, and he really,  _ really _ wished they were alone and had time to spare.

“No,” Jaehwan said, shaking his head while trying not to break the kiss - which didn’t work, “no, no— We have to— Big dragon—”

“Yeah, big dragon,” Sanghyuk mumbled, too focused on Jaehwan to bother being cohesive. “Two more minutes.”

Jaehwan whined against his lips, tempted to agree, but said instead, “ _ One _ , one minute, just one.”

“I’ll take it.”

 

✶✶✶

 

In a cavern full of treasure and eye-catching objects, Wonshik couldn’t tear his eyes away from Hongbin. Stupid. He was so stupid and yet— Was he? No, he definitely was.

It was just stupid. Wanting Hongbin to stay after everything he did, longing for him, it was just dumb. He wanted to blame it on the fact that they could all be dead in the next couple hours, the feeling of dread making his brain malfunction and causing his ridiculous love for Hongbin to take over his reason.

Yes, that was certainly what that was.

Hongbin was— Fidgeting. Pacing around, looking everywhere with a scowl, hugging himself defensively. He was clearly nervous and that bothered Wonshik. He didn’t like it when Hongbin got like that, Hongbin who was also so calm and confident; if Hongbin was nervous, it meant that there was a good reason to be nervous.

It was not at all because Wonshik was concerned with Hongbin’s well-being. Absolutely not.

Hongbin sighed - more  _ hissed _ than sighed - and Wonshik just couldn’t help it. He had to ask, “You ok?”

Hongbin’s eyes snapped towards him, fast enough to give Wonshik a start, a cautious animal in a new environment being suspicious of every little thing. “Yeah, just— It’s a  _ lot _ of rock and water on top of us right now.”

“Ah,” Wonshik, very intelligently, said.

And there was that awkward silence again, wedging itself between them like a wall. Wonshik missed him, he missed his best friend, and he was tired of missing him. And they could all be dead soon. Buried under all that rock and water— Alright, Hongbin had a very good reason to be a little freaked out about that, it would be a terrible way to go.

The point was, they  _ could _ go like that. The clock on their uncertain immediate future was ticking and Wonshik felt like he was about to burst with all the words he’d been swallowing, everything he was keeping inside because he was so very angry at Hongbin. So hurt. He couldn’t— He had to tell him. It could be his last chance, and if it were to be truly his last act, he wanted to at least make a few things clear to Hongbin.

He decided not to overthink; there was no time for overthinking. It was a do or don’t situation, and he was set on doing it. So he took a deep breath, squared his shoulders, and marched up the couple steps that were distancing him from Hongbin until he was standing right in front of him.

Hongbin jolted with surprise and stared at Wonshik as if he was insane. “Uhm, what the—”

“Look,” Wonshik started, interrupting Hongbin. “You really hurt me.”

Hongbin frowned, even more confused and nodded very slowly as if he was processing the information while he spoke, “Yeah, I know.”

“I’m  _ so _ angry with you,” Wonshik continued, slowly getting incensed as the words came out of his mouth. “I could actually punch you right now.”

Hongbin arched an eyebrow and carefully asked, “And why don’t you?”

“Because—!” Wonshik started but pursed his lips closed just as fast. He felt much like a boiling teapot at that very moment. “You know what, fuck it. We might die, so I want to get this out.”

“Ok…?”

“Shut up, Hongbin,” Wonshik barked and Hongbin clamped his mouth shut. “Ever since we were kids, I’ve always wanted to be enough for you and I never was, and it pisses me off that you always have to be running off somewhere I can’t follow because it’s always about  _ you _ .”

“It’s not—”

“Shut  _ up _ . Every time I think things are going well, you just get up and leave and I never know  _ why _ and I keep asking myself over and over what didn’t I do right to make you stay, because—” Wonshik fumbled for a while for the right words, gesturing with his hands wildly, until he finally he gave up and let out a loud groan. “ _ Fuck _ , fuck you, Hongbin, you’re so important to me and it’s like you don’t care!”

“I care!” Hongbin argued, cheeks flushed likely from the attack he was suffering.

“Shut up!” Wonshik ordered. “You keep leaving saying it’s the better option, but you know what? Fuck you. You don’t know shit. You don’t always have to get something into your stupid brain and go off on your own to do it because you think there are no other options, there are  _ always _ other options, and all I ever wanted was for you to trust me enough to let me in, to let me help you, but you’re always one step ahead and it’s so fucking exhausting chasing after you!”

“I’m sor—”

“I said  _ shut up _ !” Wonshik was getting louder and he couldn’t find it in himself to care. The others were probably listening to every word, but Wonshik was nothing if not an open book - plus, his relationship with Hongbin couldn’t be more on display than it already was. Jaehwan had even seen him naked after  _ that _ night, including all the evidence left behind on his body, so— Let them hear. “I  _ love you _ , do you understand that? I love you so much and I hate you and I hate myself but I love you anyway, even if you don’t deserve it, and I’ll probably love you for the rest of my life and I want you to stop leaving!”

Hongbin’s jaw had dropped somewhere through Wonshik’s speech - something rare to witness on its own. “Wonshik—?”

“Shut u—”

“I love you too, you know,” Hongbin interrupted him this time, and he didn’t need to raise his voice for Wonshik to stop talking.

Wonshik made a high pitched noise of distress at the unexpected confession, face heating up at the speed of light. “...Fuck you,” he finally said, back to his normal voice tone, and added after a moment, “I can’t— I can’t forgive you and I can’t trust you.”

Hongbin visibly deflated and lowered his head. “I know th—”

“Not yet, anyway.”

Hongbin’s eyes snapped back up to meet Wonshik’s gaze, as if he needed to confirm what he’d just heard. “...Oh.”

“I want to,” Wonshik confessed, and he wasn’t planning to go all the way there, but he had nothing to lose anymore at that point, “I want to be able to trust you someday.”

“What do you need me to do?” Hongbin immediately asked, so eager it bordered on pleading. “I’ll do anything.”

Very seriously, looking into Hongbin’s eyes, Wonshik said, “I need you to stay.”

Hongbin nodded fervently to agree before Wonshik was even done talking, “Yes. I’ll stay.”

Wonshik licked his lips, gone dry after his fire began to cool off. Carefully, he reminded Hongbin, “It’ll take… Probably a lot of time.”

“I know,” Hongbin said, also with much more composure now that they had reached the main point of that conversation. “I understand and I won’t rush you.”

“And I’ll need you to be honest with me, and I mean  _ really  _ honest - that includes omitting things. No more of that.”

“I think I can do that,” there was a hint of a smile playing on Hongbin’s lips as he spoke. Wonshik ignored the way the dumb butterflies that resided in his stomach began to flap their wings at the sight.

“No sneaking around, no lying, and no leaving.”

“Alright.”

Wonshik narrowed his eyes suspiciously. That felt like it was too easy. “I’ll be watching you.”

Hongbin chuckled, dimples and all, and said, “I’ll make sure to always look pretty, then.”

Wonshik scoffed. “Like you don’t already look like you’ve been sculpted by angels or something.”

Hongbin smiled to himself and bashfully ducked his head. The tips of his pointy ears were rosy. “Thank you.”

Wonshik stared at Hongbin for a moment longer before letting out a heavy, tired exhale, slumping against the nearest wall. He was emotionally drained after that talk, and yet he still had more to say.

“It was a really shitty thing you did.”

The smile faded from Hongbin’s face. “I know. It was also the hardest thing I’ve ever done. The only reason I was able to go through with it was because I love you so much and just the thought of losing you, of you getting hurt, was so scary that I had to do something to prevent it.”

It felt as if Wonshik’s heart was swelling inside his chest; he could hear the truth in Hongbin’s words, in the cadence of his voice. “But you hurt me anyway.”

“I know,” Hongbin shakily said, voice thick, almost slurry, and lowered his head, hands covering his face. “I know I did. I’m sorry, I know it won’t ever be enough to say this, but I’m so sorry, I’m sorry for everything—”

“I can’t forgive you, not— Not right now, at least,” Wonshik interrupted him, unintendedly gentle. “But I think… I think someday I can get there.”

“I won’t rush you,” Hongbin said again as he sniffled and took deep breaths to reel in his emotions, “and I won’t keep asking for forgiveness, or anything like that. You already know I regret it and that I have no intention of ever doing it again, so… It’s all up to you. I’ll give you space to decide if you’re ready or not.”

“And you’ll stay,” that wasn’t a request as much it was an order.

“I will. For as long as you want me to stay, I will stay.”

The honesty in Hongbin’s tone was enough that Wonshik didn’t try to argue or push the subject further, simply grunting a, “Hm. Good.”

Hongbin leaned back against the same wall as Wonshik, both now standing side by side, close enough for their arms to brush. They were quiet for a moment, both staring at the ground, lost in their own thoughts, until Hongbin broke that silence.

“Do you remember that day - or night, whatever - in the Deep Roads, when I said I was tired of my life?” he asked, voice only loud enough for Wonshik to hear. “I meant it. I don’t want to live the way I have been any more, I want— I want to stop running.”

“Then stop,” Wonshik responded. “Stop running and come home.”

Hongbin hiccuped and nodded fervently, and Wonshik could hear him sniffling despite the way he was furiously rubbing his face with both hands. Wonshik made a soft noise of distress and without thinking, gathered Hongbin into his arms protectively, one hand cradling Hongbin’s head against his chest.

“No, no, no, don’t cry, please don’t cry,” Wonshik mumbled, trying to console Hongbin somehow - Hongbin’s tears were always his biggest weakness, no matter how he was also on the verge of breaking down too. “It’s ok, it’s going to be ok.”

“I know,” Hongbin said with a sniffle, one hand clutching the front of Wonshik’s shirt like an anchor. “I’m just happy.”

“Happy?” Wonshik echoed and frowned. He didn’t really expect Hongbin to feel happy; hopeful, maybe, or hesitant, but not outright  _ happy _ .

“Yeah. I’m going to win you back, so I’m happy.”

Wonshik snorted at the reply. “You’re very confident about that.”

“I have no reason not to be. I’m going to do it right this time,” Hongbin said, conviction obvious even through the slur caused by his tears. “I’m going to win you back and I’m not going to ruin it again.”

Wonshik chuckled to himself and sighed, patting Hongbin’s back. “We’ll see about that.”

Wonshik decided to give Hongbin a moment to pull himself together, get his emotions under control again, and looked around the room. Sanghyuk and Jaehwan were snuggled up near one of the support pillars of the antechamber, still searching through the couple books Jaehwan had brought along for something that could help. Hakyeon was wandering up and down the room, eyes sparkling with interest, while Taekwoon was trailing after him and watching his every move like a hawk to make sure he didn’t touch anything.

He could hardly believe they were about to step into a room with an ancient angry dragon. And he could also hardly believe that Jaehwan wanted to _ save _ the dragon. And most of all, he could hardly believe he had Hongbin in his arms and that they weren’t fighting. They weren’t fighting anymore.

Hope.

That peace didn’t last, though; one moment they were all quiet, minding their business, and the next Taekwoon was on alert whistling for Fear and Deceit to join them. Wonshik had learned to trust Taekwoon’s alertness, honed into that precision through his years learning to survive on his own, and once Taekwoon reached for his weapons, Wonshik knew something was coming.

Thing is, he wasn’t looking towards the area beyond the chamber, where the dragon supposedly was, but back to the way they had come. Hongbin raised his head, also alerted by Taekwoon’s shift in behavior, and in a quiet agreement they untangled themselves from each other and went to retrieve their own weapons.

“What?” Hakyeon asked Taekwoon, who answered with a soft ‘ _ shh _ ’.

Sanghyuk and Jaehwan also noticed what was happening and got up from the ground, all eyes now turned to the open door of the antechamber.

It took a moment, but Wonshik finally heard it - it was faint and far away, but there was a commotion beyond the door, back at the stairs and the tunnel. Jaehwan made a distressed noise in his throat and rushed forward towards the door, unsheathing a small dagger he carried on his waist and slicing his palm with it to cast a barrier on the door.

“I guess we’re on a time crunch now,” Sanghyuk commented as he watched Jaehwan cast his spell.

“The cultists are here,” Taekwoon said, seemingly relaying what Fear was telling him. “Their ship arrived here not long after us.”

“Oh, crap,” Hakyeon cursed. “I hope Solji and the others are alright.”

“This won’t hold out for long if they have mages, we  _ really  _ are on a time crunch now,” Jaehwan said as he hurried back to Sanghyuk’s side after finishing his barrier. “I still don’t have a spell!”

“We’re going to have to improvise, Jyani.”

“But—”

“Go,” Hongbin suddenly said, rolling his shoulders, both daggers already in his hands. “I’ll try to hold them back for as long as I can, just get to the dragon.”

Wonshik stared at Hongbin as if he couldn’t believe his eyes - or, in that case, his ears. “Excuse me?”

“Do you have a better idea!?” Hongbin asked, urgent. “Jaehwan needs time, we have to give him as much time as possible!”

“Shit,” Wonshik groaned. Hongbin was right - Jaehwan needed time to find the right spell. If the barrier didn’t hold, they would need something else to keep the cultists from reaching the dragon. It was an obvious issue.

He’d decided he wouldn’t simply let Hongbin leave again, and now that they were finally getting somewhere good in their fractured relationship, he was even less inclined to accept what Hongbin was trying to do.

“I’ll stay here with you,” Wonshik said.

A simple decision.

Hongbin’s eyes went wide with shock. “What—”

“I’m not letting you run off on your own again,” he said, staring into Hongbin’s eyes to let him know just how serious he was about that choice. “I’m staying.”

“Fear and Deceit will stay with you,” Taekwoon said, seeing that there would be no convincing either of them to change their minds. “Be careful.”

“Taekwoonie, how can you just let them do this!?” Hakyeon asked, alarmed, and Taekwon took his hand.

“I’m not ‘letting them’,” he said, pulling Hakyeon towards the chamber’s exit. “I’m giving them a chance to survive this.”

Hakyeon made a pained noise as he let Taekwoon guide him forward, exchanging one last look with Hongbin before they hurried after Jaehwan and Sanghyuk, already running towards the next room. Deceit came to perch on Hongbin’s shoulder, Fear on Wonshik’s, and they turned forward to face the door. The sounds of fighting were becoming louder and louder, coming closer and closer to them.

Hongbin scooted closer to Wonshik so their arms were touching and said, “If we survive this, I’m never going on an adventure again.”

“I share that sentiment,” Wonshik muttered in response.

“Please, survive this, hm?” Hongbin said and smiled, eyes shiny with emotion. “I can’t win you back if you’re dead.”

Wonshik huffed a laugh through his nose. “You can’t win me back if you’re dead either, so I guess we both will have to work hard not to die.”

“Sounds like a perfect deal to me,” Hongbin replied, and together they stood side by side and waited for the fight to reach them.

 

✶✶✶

 

Jaehwan’s mind was a whirlwind as he ran out of the antechamber, and it was still a whirlwind as he placed another barrier on the exit after the others had run ahead. His eyes lingered on Hongbin and Wonshik for a moment longer before he forced himself to turn away and keep running. There was another set of stairs, a short one this time, that led to another corridor and a pair of tall doors, kept closed by a latch.

Sanghyuk was the first one to reach it, and pulled the jewel from his pocket clumsily, almost dropping it, to place it on the socket at the very center of the latch. Jaehwan would have questioned the multipurpose of that one tiny jewel, but it made sense - harder to get to the dragon if only one key exists. Were it destroyed somewhere along those centuries it had existed, reaching that place would have been impossible - it made perfect sense.

Whoever designed that thing deserved an award or something.

Sanghyuk unlocked the doors and pushed them open, revealing a wide, circular chamber with a dome-like ceiling, glittering the same way as the antechamber had been despite the lack of treasure, and right in the middle of the room— The dragon.

Jaehwan’s heart ached at the sight of her, curled into herself, looking frail and sickly. Scales that appeared to have once been shiny, lustrous, were now dull and faded, discolored in many places, and she was so— Thin. Like the very life was being sucked out of her by the magical restraints placed on her four legs, her wings, her neck. Massive she was, bigger than any creature Jaehwan had ever seen, but he wasn’t scared. All he felt was a profound sense of pity. Compassion.

Maybe killing her, ending her suffering, was truly the best choice.

They all hesitated at the sight of the dragon, but the hesitation only lasted a couple seconds before they rushed inside, down another set of stairs and into the chamber proper. Jaehwan stumbled, hit by a wave of drowsiness, the room spinning, but he powered through it and shook his head to recover.

“Oh, what the—” He turned to see if the others were alright after being hit with what was obviously magic, and instantly was alarmed once he found all three of them had dropped to the ground.

Jaehwan’s first thought was that they were all dead.

“No, no, no,” Jaehwan mumbled to himself, rushing back to his fallen companions, and knelt down next to Sanghyuk, to make sure he was still breathing - he was. “Hyogi?” he called, shaking Sanghyuk by the shoulders. No response. “Hyogi, wake up, come on, this is not the time for this,” he pleaded, shaking him, giving his cheek soft little pats in an attempt of making him come to. “Sanghyuk, get up, right now!”

No response - Sanghyuk was out cold, as were Hakyeon and Taekwoon.

Jaehwan got to his feet and turned to the dragon so he could shout, “We’re trying to help you! Wake them up!”

Of course, nothing happened. Jaehwan cursed under his breath and looked around, lost and frightened. Time, he needed time, he couldn’t waste time.

“Ok, alright,” Jaehwan muttered to himself, and after taking a deep breath to reach a modicum of composure, walked towards the dragon as confidently as he could. “Look, we’re not here to hurt you, but there are very bad people coming and we really need to figure this out, so please work with me on this one, ok?”

There was no reply, but Jaehwan saw the dragon’s enormous leathery eyelids twitch. She was definitely listening to him. There was a platform ahead, another set of stairs leading up there, and on top of it sat what looked like a pedestal. Whatever spell was keeping her in, that was the source.

He would need to perform a gesture of good faith to prove to her that they were there to help. So Jaehwan turned around and walked back to where Sanghyuk had dropped to pluck the jewel from his limp hand before he hurried up the platform. Like he’d suspected, there was another socket there, at the very center of the pedestal - the final use of the jewel.

“Please, don’t eat me,” Jaehwan pleaded just as he placed the jewel in the socket and twisted it.

There was a loud rumble that echoed throughout the chamber, and one by one the glowing restraints faded from the dragon’s limbs; she was free.

The dragon huffed a long sigh of relief that almost knocked him off the platform, eyelids fluttering open just a slit to reveal the golden of her eyes, eyes that locked on Jaehwan immediately. Jaehwan made a tiny whimpering sound in the back of his throat.

“H-hi,” he said, dumbly, raising his hands to demonstrate he meant her no harm. “I’m— I’m here to help you. My name is Jaehwan.”

The dragon watched him intensely for a moment, before giving him a morose blink. It looked like a form of communication, so he took it as such. Maybe that could work after all - she didn’t look like she had enough strength to move, much less to try to eat him, which meant he was safe for the time being.

“Look, I— I’m not sure what I can do for you, so— Can you help me figure it out? I have a book with some spells, if I read them out to you can you point me to the one that you think could be of any use?”

The dragon blinked again. Good. She was a very reasonable dragon. Maybe all the years in confinement mellowed out her more aggressive personality traits, if she ever had any.

“Alright, I’ll get down of the platform and get them, and we’ll figure this out,” Jaehwan said, still with his hands up to placate any ill feelings the dragon might be experiencing towards him.

He slowly turned his back to the dragon so he could descend the stairs and get back to his friends’ sides. There was more floor space there, sure, but he was there mostly because he didn’t feel right leaving them there all alone. He should probably work on waking them up as well.

That he hadn’t fallen asleep like the others was a good hint that it had to do with his lack of connection to the Fade, so maybe— Maybe Taekwoon could hear him, maybe if he tried really, really hard to reach out to him in the land of dreams.

Yes. That was the only thing he could think of to do that had a chance of working.

Jaehwan shrugged off his pack and spilled all its contents on the floor, too impatient to calmly search for the book he needed, and as he sorted through the tomes, he focused all the energy he had into his almost non-existent link to the Fade and tried to push his thoughts through it in a way that they reached Taekwoon. It was all he could do.

 

✶✶✶

 

Everything was dark. Taekwoon couldn’t see anything around him, only pitch black everywhere he looked, and he was too scared to stand and try to walk - he felt as if the floor would give under his feet and he would be plunged into that darkness. And it was so cold. So  _ cold _ .

He thought it couldn’t get any worse than that, being alone in the dark, in the cold, and then— Then the voices started. The echoes. Echoes of words he’d heard so many times.

His sisters’ voices, one goodbye after the other. Heejun’s voice saying he was an abomination, a disgrace, a liability to the clan, and the chorus of other voices who agreed with him, telling him he was unwelcome, dangerous, that he only brought pain and misery wherever he went. Taekwoon curled into himself, tried to cover his ears, block those voices off, but they were there still, inside his head, where he couldn’t escape them. They were there, sharp claws raking over the frail walls that protected his heart, cutting deep, deeper than anything, deeper than he thought possible, all those old wounds being ripped open mercilessly.

It couldn’t get any worse. Certainly, it couldn’t, there was no way he could sink deeper into despair and self-loathing than he already had, and he was sure of it— Until he wasn’t.

“ _ How could I ever possibly love someone like you? _ ”

Hakyeon’s voice rang through his head, sharp and clear, louder than all other voices, and Taekwoon whimpered like a child, hot tears streaming down his face. No, Hakyeon would never say that, he would never— It wasn’t him, it was all a lie—

“ _ Look at you, _ ” Hakyeon’s voice was venomous, full of disdain, and it wasn’t him, Hakyeon would never— He would never— “ _ you’re pathetic, you’re weak, you’re a scared little kitten, you’re nothing. _ ”

“No,” Taekwoon sobbed, shaking his head to try and deny those words. “No. No.”

“ _ Did you really think I could love you? A freak like you? _ ”

Taekwoon covered his head with his arms, trembling all over, crying harder than he remembered crying in his entire life.

“ _ You could never compare to any of my past lovers, any of the lovers I will have after you’re gone, _ ” Hakyeon’s voice was louder, and it hurt, it cut deeper and deeper, and Taekwoon didn’t know how he was still able to hear it through the cacophony of voices yelling at him. “ _ It will be a relief to me to have you gone. You’re nothing but a weight on my shoulders. _ ”

“Stop, stop, please—”

“ _ You barely talk, you hate being around people, you’re afraid of everything, you won’t even sleep with me because you’re such a crybaby about it, _ ” Hakyeon continued on, scoffing at him, stepping over all of his insecurities like glass shards under his boots. “ _ You’re making me leave my  _ home _ because you can’t even suck it up, what’s so hard about it, huh? Small spaces and too many people? You’re pitiful, Taekwoon. _ ”

“Shut up, please, stop—” Taekwoon mumbled, barely making sense to himself through the sobs that continued to rip through him. He couldn’t breathe. There was not enough air, and he didn’t care anymore, he would rather stop breathing entirely than hear those things, than to face his fears in such a cruel manner. Maybe he should, maybe he should stop breathing, maybe he should—

“Daeguni—!”

Taekwoon jerked his head up and looked around, searching, Jaehwan’s voice cutting through every other sound. 

“Daeguni, wake up!”

Wake up? Dreaming, he was dreaming, yes, he should have known, it was all a dream, a bad dream, he could leave. He closed his eyes and focused, tried to quiet down his mind, the voices, the pain.

Resurfacing from that nightmare was like crossing a veil made of razors and ice, cold and painful, and Taekwoon awakened with a loud gasp and wide eyes, struggling to catch his breath. There were tears tracks on his face, his entire body was shaking, but he was awake and there were no voices, there was just— 

Just a very large dragon right in front of him.

He jumped to his feet and stepped back, looking around in a daze. He didn’t have enough time to get his bearings, for Jaehwan was already crashing onto him and hugging him tight in the next moment. “Daeguni!”

“Jaehwan— What—” he tried to ask, but the words didn’t want to come out. Luckily for him, Jaehwan understood.

“You all fell asleep the moment we got in here!” Jaehwan said, gesturing somewhere next to them, and Taekwoon turned to find Hakyeon and Sanghyuk unconscious on the ground, Hakyeon looking like he was sleeping peacefully and Sanghyuk thrashing about, whimpering softly. Taekwoon assumed he was having a dream similar to his own. “I can’t wake them up! We have to wake them up, we have to—”

“Figure out what to do about the dragon, I’ll deal with them,” Taekwoon said, giving Jaehwan an encouraging squeeze on the shoulder before moving to lie down next to Hakyeon, taking his hand and giving it a squeeze.

Jaehwan hesitated but agreed, rushing to where he’d dropped his spellbook to keep working. Taekwoon closed his eyes and took a deep breath, focusing like he always did, the Veil parting like water to allow him inside; easy, simple. Like talking to an old friend.

When he next opened his eyes, it was to sunshine and blue waters, fluffy white sand and seagulls crying. He recognized that place, had been there before - Hakyeon’s childhood home, the village by the sea. There was absolutely nothing threatening about that place, only peace and quiet, the sun warm on his skin. A good dream; Hakyeon was having a good dream, and that was a comfort. He never wanted Hakyeon to go through what he did inside his own mind, no matter how it had lasted only a few minutes.

“There you are!” spoke a voice he couldn’t recognize, and he turned around to find a little girl, maybe six or seven years old, standing there with her tiny hands on her hips and a scowl on her little face. “We’re going to be late!”

_ ‘Late for what?’ _ he wanted to ask, but the girl had grabbed him by the hand was already leading him away before he could even protest. Who was that little girl? Why would Hakyeon be dreaming about her? Maybe it was his sister as a child…? No, it couldn’t be. That girl was obviously elven, if her cute, tiny pointy ears were any clue. A childhood friend then? Would he see Hakyeon as a child? That would be just adorable if it was the case.

The girl led him to a little house by the sea, surrounded by a little garden of colorful flowers lined by white seashells, all very well taken care of, and up a short set of stairs into the porch. The girl barreled inside without knocking, and Taekwoon, unsure of what to do, followed her.

“Found him!” she announced as she rushed into the kitchen, a strong smell of roasted meat wafting through the air, inviting. Taekwoon let his nose guide him this time. “Are we going to get in trouble?”

“No, you’re not going to get in trouble,” Hakyeon’s voice responded, and Taekwoon hurried his steps and entered the kitchen. There he was, definitely  _ not _ a child, looking at the girl fondly as he stroke her smooth dark hair. “You did a great job, honey.”

“Can I have a cookie before lunch?” the girl asked, very polite, and Hakyeon made an exaggerated face as if he was considering very hard whether to agree to her request or not, but soon broke into a smile and nodded, turning around to retrieve a cookie from a nearby jar.

“Alright, but just one, hm? You need to leave some space in your tummy for lunch,” Hakyeon said as he gave the girl the cookie, and she took it with a big bright smile and hopped out of the kitchen.

“I know, I know,” she singsonged as she ran right past Taekwoon.

Taekwoon watched her go with a curious frown before turning to Hakyeon, who was approaching him with a wide smile, bright, blinding. He looked so—  _ Happy _ .

“Hey, stranger,” Hakyeon greeted as he wound his arms around Taekwoon’s waist and pressed a kiss to the corner of his mouth. “You got back just in time, the food is almost ready.”

“Hakyeon,” Taekwoon called, careful, tentative, “who— Who is that girl?”

Hakyeon looked at him as if he’d just turned green to then chuckle to himself, “You’re— Kidding, right? You don’t know our own daughter?”

Taekwoon’s jaw might as well have hit the floor with how fast it dropped, “Our… Daughter?”

“What’s gotten into you today?” Hakyeon asked with a chuckle, pinching both of Taekwoon’s cheeks gently. “First you’re late for  _ food _ of all things, and now you forgot we have a daughter?”

Taekwoon’s mind had come to a halt and he barely registered what Hakyeon was saying. A daughter. A  _ daughter _ . They had a daughter together? What— Was that what Hakyeon wanted for himself? To start a family, have a child? Taekwoon had never really considered that, it never once crossed his mind as he was still reeling from Hakyeon wanting to be with him at all. A daughter— Did he want that? Taekwoon had always liked children, but he never thought he would ever have one of his own, and with Hakyeon—

He wanted it. He didn’t have to think much about it, he wanted it. He wanted all of it, he wanted that future.

But that was just a dream, and they had to wake up.

“Hello? Taekwoonie, are you listening to me?” Hakyeon asked, waving a hand in front of Taekwoon’s eyes, easy smile still on his face. “How are you so surprised?”

“Hakyeon, listen to me,” Taekwoon finally said once he snapped out of the shock-induced trance he was in. “This is a dream.”

“Yes, it feels like one, doesn’t it?” Hakyeon’s smile grew wider as he spoke, and he looped his arms around Taekwoon’s neck so he could pull him down and give him a quick, chaste kiss on the lips. “I’m so happy I can hardly believe it.”

“No, no, this is a dream,” Taekwoon repeated, gently holding onto Hakyeon’s wrists. “It’s an actual dream, ma vhenan, we need to wake up now.”

“Are you out of your mind?” Hakyeon asked in a hissed whisper. “It’s  _ not _ a dream, Taekwoonie, you shouldn’t say things like this, our daughter could hear it and be sad.”

“Fine, if this isn’t a dream, then what’s our daughter’s name?” Taekwoon asked, serious, and Hakyeon scoffed.

“That’s a stupid question, I know her name.”

“Then tell me, what’s her name?”

“It’s—” Hakyeon started but stopped, mouth hanging open for a few seconds as he tried to think of the name - he couldn’t, because it didn’t exist. Not yet, at any rate. Hakyeon chuckled to himself, even though he was clearly rattled and said, “What’s wrong with me today, I’m sure I’ll remember it.”

“You can’t remember it, my heart, because this is not real,” Taekwoon insisted, moving his hands from Hakyeon’s wrists to his hands and lacing their fingers together. “She doesn’t have a name because she’s not real.”

“Don’t say that, that’s a terrible thing to say,” Hakyeon said, shaking his head to deny Taekwoon’s words. 

“My darling, please, think about it,” Taekwoon said, giving Hakyeon’s hands a squeeze, “do you remember when you got here?”

“I— No, but—”

“You don’t know our daughter’s name, but what of her age? Her favorite food? Where did she come from?”

“We adopted her, obviously!”

“Where did we adopt her? When?”

“Wait, I know this,” Hakyeon said, smiling, even though that smile was stiff and awkward. “Give me a moment, I’ll tell you.”

“Dearest, stop,” Taekwoon pleaded again, pressing a kiss to Hakyeon’s knuckles. “You can’t know what doesn’t exist.”

“But—” Hakyeon trailed off, looking towards the door that led to the living room, the little girl’s laughter audible from where they stood. Hakyeon made a pained sound in his throat and shook his head. “No, no, I can’t leave her, I can’t—”

“She’s not real,” Taekwoon insisted, hugging Hakyeon tight both to comfort him and to keep him from going anywhere - he looked like he was about to run off. “This is a dream and we have to wake up now.”

“Taekwoon, I— I don’t want to leave, please—” Hakyeon shook his head as he muttered, face hidden against his chest. “I’m happy here, I want to stay, stay here with me,  _ please _ —”

“If we stay we can’t make it true, dearest,” Taekwoon argued. “We can have all of this someday, a place of our own, a family, but not here.”

“But…” Hakyeon stammered and looked up at Taekwoon with pleading eyes, and it killed him to have to end Hakyeon’s dream like that, but they had to. Jaehwan was alone there with a dragon, and Sanghyuk was still trapped in his own nightmare, they couldn’t afford to linger.

“You have to wake up now, my heart,” Taekwoon told him, gentle, always gentle. “The others need us, we can’t stay here.”

Hakyeon bit his lips, eyes shiny with tears, and finally agreed with a brief nod, giving Taekwoon permission to end that dream. They would have it, they would have it all, Taekwoon promised himself as he reached inside Hakyeon’s mind and severed him from that dream, allowing him to wake up.

Taekwoon found himself holding only air, opened his eyes to find nobody before him. He could still hear the little girl - his  _ daughter _ \- laughing, and he wanted to stay too, wanted to stay in that glittering image of a future he could share with Hakyeon, but Sanghyuk needed him. So he refocused his mind on Sanghyuk, on the part of him that dwelled in the Fade, and followed its calling.

He could smell it before he even opened his eyes - blood, thick and poignant, making his nostrils burn so strong it was. Taekwoon found himself somewhere vaguely familiar, and he would likely be able to recognize it were it not painted red with blood. Everywhere, the walls, the floor, even the ceiling, all of it was covered in blood. Taekwoon instinctively brought a hand up to cover his mouth and nose, the smell making him sick to his stomach, and he tried to muster up the will to look around and take stock of the situation.

As he did, he finally recognized that place - the ballroom at Castrum Draconis, the place he’d only seen in passing, first through the windows and then when he was trying to escape with the jewel. It was no wonder he didn’t immediately know where he was, covered in blood like that.

Though to be fair, the last time he’d been there, the place wasn’t in much better shape.

He took a careful step forward, the blood squelching under his feet, and after only a couple steps he spotted the first body. It was— He didn’t even know how to describe it. Brutal. He could barely tell what, exactly, he was looking at, a pulp of blood and entrails that barely looked like a person anymore. What he remembered from the night of the massacre, there was blood everywhere too and more bodies than he could count, but it wasn’t— It was nothing like this. This… Carnage.

He continued on, finding one body after the other, some in ‘better’ condition than the others, some missing limbs, some— Some were  _ only _ limbs. The ballroom appeared to stretch forever, and Taekwoon couldn’t find a living soul no matter how much he walked, until, finally, he heard it - someone crying.

Taekwoon stopped walking and searched around for the source of that sound, and he could recognize it - or at least, logically deduce who it was. “Sanghyuk?”

There was no reply, only the continuous crying,  _ sobbing _ , and Taekwoon hurried and followed it. Sanghyuk sounded broken, wretched, and Taekwoon was overcome with a feeling of protectiveness; he wanted to fix it, wanted to make it stop. Sanghyuk was his friend and a good person, he shouldn’t be hurting like that.

“Sanghyuk!” Taekwoon called, moving as fast as he could on the blood-soaked floor, until he finally spotted him, knelt down on the ground and hunched over something, back rising and falling rapidly with his sobs.

Sanghyuk’s head jerked up and he looked around frantically for a moment before his eyes locked with Taekwoon’s. Taekwoon thought he would be at least less sad than he was, but Sanghyuk— Crumbled. He looked so young, so completely devastated, and it was just— Just wrong.

“No, get away, get away from me!” Sanghyuk shouted at him, voice breaking in places to betray just how much he’d abused it, how much he’d screamed and cried.

Taekwoon ignored him and reached out to touch his shoulder. “Sanghyuk, come on, we have to—”

“I said  _ get away _ !” Sanghyuk’s voice was— It wasn’t normal. It was almost animalistic, a growl from the depths of his core, and Taekwoon recoiled instinctively. “Stay away from me…” Sanghyuk sobbed, falling into despair once more. “I don’t want to do hurt you too, please, please—”

“Sanghyuk, it’s alright, you’re not going to—”

“I did this!” Sanghyuk screamed, refusing to look at Taekwoon, but he could see he was shaking. “I killed them all, I— Wonshik and Hongbin and Hakyeon and— And—”

Sanghyuk was looking down, and now that he was closer Taekwoon could see it was a person. He carefully stepped around Sanghyuk, the full picture slowly being revealed to him. Sanghyuk’s terror made all the sense in the world once Taekwoon stopped before him and was met with Jaehwan lying limp across Sanghyuk’s lap, skin white as a sheet and unseeing eyes bloodshot, staring blankly up at the ceiling, mouth hanging open. Dead.

Taekwoon recoiled from the sight for a moment, unable to look at what was once Jaehwan, the very first person to accept him into the group, the first friend he’d made in who knows how many years, but he forced himself to look, to take in that image. Jaehwan’s throat was bruised, clear shapes of fingers around his neck, and deep scratches on the sides, like the hands that had strangled him had claws that dug into his flesh, blood slowly oozing from the wounds and dripping down to the ground.

“Sanghyuk— This— This isn’t real,” Taekwoon tried telling him, his eyes now unable to see anything else but Jaehwan’s lifeless body.

“I killed him, I killed them all, it’s my fault—” Sanghyuk continued to whimper, clearly not listening to what Taekwoon was trying to tell him, so Taekwoon decided to ignore the fact everything was covered in blood and knelt down on the ground in front of Sanghyuk, hoping that being eye level with him would be of any help.

Taekwoon had to fight the urge to put distance between himself and Sanghyuk when the shock of his appearance hit him.

The scales— They were  _ everywhere _ . Sanghyuk’s face was close to being completely covered by them, no patch of skin visible on his hands anymore. His fingernails were no longer fingernails at all, but long, pitch black talons, sharp and deadly. The wounds in Jaehwan’s neck made much more sense now.

“Sanghyuk, you have to listen to me,” Taekwoon urged once he regained his composure, grabbing Sanghyuk by the shoulders. “This is just a dream, it isn’t real, Jaehwan is alive—”

“No, no, look at what I did to him,” Sanghyuk continued to cry, gaze fixated on Jaehwan’s face. “Look what I did to all of them.”

After saying that, Sanghyuk glanced briefly somewhere to his left only to whimper and look away as if the sight pained him. Taekwoon looked over without thinking and regretted it the second he was met with what appeared to have once been Wonshik, now a barely recognizable pulp of meat on the ground. Hongbin wasn’t far away from him, face down on the floor, and next to him—

Taekwoon closed his eyes and turned away. He didn’t want to look, didn’t want to see Hakyeon like that, no matter how he knew this was a lie, just a nightmare; he didn’t need that image in his head once this was over, haunting him whenever he closed his eyes. The sight of his friends was more than enough. Hakyeon— He couldn’t, he couldn’t look.

“I did this— I’m a monster,” Sanghyuk sobbed, covering his face with his hands, dark scales glistening with the blood that covered them. “Jyani— He tried to stop me and I— I lost control, I didn’t know it was him, I didn’t recognize him—”

“Sanghyuk, you have to snap out of it,” Taekwoon shook Sanghyuk by the shoulders as he tried to reason with him, speaking with a voice as firm as he could manage in such a situation. “This isn’t real!”

Sanghyuk wailed, a sound so filled with pain, with regret, that Taekwoon felt small before his sadness, the world of grief in front of him, but he couldn’t— He had to wake him up.

“Sanghyuk, look at me,” Taekwoon ordered, trying to remove Sanghyuk’s hands from his face. He tugged on his wrists, but all that got him was Sanghyuk trying to slap his hands away. Sanghyuk was beyond reasoning, but Taekwoon couldn’t afford to wait for him to calm down - Jaehwan and Hakyeon needed them, Hongbin and Wonshik were fighting to give them time, he just couldn’t expect the cultists and the dragon to wait for them.

Taekwoon did the first thing that crossed his mind and wrapped his arms around Sanghyuk as tight as he could, trapping his hands between their bodies, both forcing him to stop struggling and offering some comfort.

“Listen to me,” he said right next to Sanghyuk’s ear, giving him no choice but to pay attention. “This is not real. You have to wake up now, because Jaehwan needs you, alright?”

“Why are you lying to me, why—”

“It’s not a lie, Sanghyuk, this is just a dream, the dragon put you under a spell,” Taekwoon explained as calmly as he could through Sanghyuk’s hiccups and sobs. “Jaehwan is fine, he’s alive and waiting for you to wake up.”

“He is?” Sanghyuk asked, sounding every bit like a confused, hopeful child. He looked down at that version of Jaehwan on his lap, lifeless and pale, and whimpered. Taekwoon pressed him tighter against himself.

“I need you to focus right now, I can only wake you up if you let me.”

Sanghyuk nodded manically and mumbled, “Yes, yes, I can do that.”

“Close your eyes and breathe,” he instructed, gentler this time, and finally Sanghyuk listened to him, finally he let Taekwoon reach into his mind and end that dream, snapping it like a string pulled taut.

They both woke up. 

 

✶✶✶

 

Sanghyuk came to screaming and shaking and kicking, palming at his own face to make sure the scales hadn’t covered everything. He could still feel the sticky, warm blood coating his hands, the smell of it still lingering in his nose, the image of Jaehwan—  _ Jaehwan _ .

He looked around wildly, just in time to see Jaehwan rushing towards him and open his arms to welcome him. He held him tight, breathed in the scent of his skin, his hair, felt the warmth of his body, the rise and fall of his chest as he breathed - alive, he was alive, it was a dream, just a bad dream.

“Hyogi, what happened?” Jaehwan asked, urgent, a world of concern in his eyes. Shiny, glimmering eyes, grey-blue and lovely, not blank and expressionless, not fogged and pale. Alive. He was alive. “You’re shaking like a leaf, what’s wrong?”

Sanghyuk just held Jaehwan tight, covered his face with kisses, the panic subsiding once he heard Jaehwan’s cute little laugh. Alive.

“I’m fine, I’m fine now,” Sanghyuk said, burrowing his face against the crook of Jaehwan’s neck. “Just give me a minute.”

“We don’t have a minute,” Jaehwan argued, but it was weak. He stayed there, holding him, the shakes lessening as he got his bearings.

He could vaguely register Hakyeon speaking to Taekwoon, asking if he was ok - he’d heard Taekwoon coughing and wheezing a moment before, but he seemed to be alright now. It must have taken a lot of him to wake him up, considering the state of absolute desolation he’d been in, how he refused to listen to anything, to pay attention to anything outside his bubble of despair. He made a mental note to make it up to him later, once they were out of that underwater pit.

An explosion coming from the antechamber was the rough wake up call they all needed to get back on track, and Jaehwan made a distressed noise as he got up from the floor, helping Sanghyuk up as well.

“Alright, so, I have good news and bad news,” Jaehwan declared, looking over his shoulder to the dragon behind him. Sanghyuk followed his line of sight and jolted once his eyes met the dragon’s, halfway open and watching their every move. Jaehwan, noticing Sanghyuk’s shock, quickly said, “It’s fine, she won’t hurt us.”

“Please tell me that’s the good news,” Sanghyuk said, still staring at the dragon with wide eyes, a mix of awe and fear tangled in his chest.

“It’s not,” Jaehwan replied, and once Taekwoon and Hakyeon joined them, he continued. “The good news is, she helped me figure out the right spell, and I’ve already made all the preparations while you were asleep, so I just have to activate it.”

Sanghyuk felt like his heart had dropped - he didn’t like where that was going. “And the bad news?”

“The bad news is…” Jaehwan trailed off and pursed his lips. It didn’t help Sanghyuk’s nerves.

“Jyani?”

“The bad news is… I have no idea what will happen to me once I cast the spell.”

“What!?” Sanghyuk demanded, panic now taking over. “You’re not casting that spell then, there must be another way!”

“Even if there is, we don’t have time to find it!” Jaehwan responded, and as if on cue, another explosion went off behind them. “I have to do this!”

“No, I’m the king and I say no!”

“This is not the time to be selfish!”

“Both of you shut up!” Hakyeon yelled. “What is the spell?”

Jaehwan glared at Sanghyuk for a second longer, daring him to keep arguing, before he turned to Hakyeon to respond. “It’s a soul-transferring spell.”

“What!?” Hakyeon and Sanghyuk asked in unison, while Taekwoon only scowled at Jaehwan.

“Absolutely not! Your soul is not going anywhere!” Sanghyuk ordered.

“It’s not my soul that will be transferred,” Jaehwan grimly said, again glancing at the dragon.

“No,” Sanghyuk said, shaking his head as if that would help matters. “No, you can’t do this.”

Jaehwan took a deep breath and exhaled slowly, looking up at Sanghyuk with a faint smile on his lips. He didn’t like that. It felt like he was saying goodbye, like he was about to say goodbye. No— 

“Jyani—”

“It’s going to be fine, Hyogi,” Jaehwan said, cupping his face gently with both hands. “I’m going to be ok, I promise.”

“You can’t know that, you just said that you don’t know what will happen to you,” Sanghyuk called Jaehwan out on his bullshit, but Jaehwan didn’t seem fazed by it.

“I’ll be fine. Please, trust me?” Jaehwan asked, pulling Sanghyuk down until their foreheads were touching.

“Jyani,  _ please _ , don’t do this,” Sanghyuk begged, gripping Jaehwan’s arms tight enough that there would be bruises shaped like his fingertips on his skin later. If there was a ‘later’.

Jaehwan stared at him for a long moment, eyes shiny with tears, that same sad smile on his face. Sanghyuk didn’t know what to do, had never been so terrified in his life - he’d just woken up from a nightmare where he lost Jaehwan, only to wake up to the possibility of losing him anyway, and it was just too much for him. He couldn’t— A life without Jaehwan was unfathomable. He would never simply accept it.

He would just hold Jaehwan down physically and prevent him from concluding the spell. He would do whatever he had to.

Those thoughts were momentarily shoved aside when Jaehwan got on the tips of his toes to kiss him, a chaste, sweet press of Jaehwan’s lips on his own. Sanghyuk parted his lips, inviting Jaehwan to deepen the kiss, aiming to keep him distracted for a while until he figured out a way to stop him. That kiss felt different and Sanghyuk hated it - Jaehwan’s kisses were usually enthusiastic, playful and passionate, like his personality, but that kiss— It was gentle and slow, a kiss meant to soothe and comfort, a kiss that tasted of farewells and take cares.

No.

Before Sanghyuk could fully process what was going on and react to it, force Jaehwan to stop, he felt a sharp pain on his lower lip, tasted blood in his mouth; Jaehwan had bitten him.

“Jaehwan, what the—!” Sanghyuk began asking, one hand coming up to his lip to inspect the damage.

“I love you,” Jaehwan said, his lips stained red with his blood, “but this is the only way.”

“Jaehwan—” Sanghyuk tried to reach out, and that’s when he felt it - the magic. The blood. Jaehwan had used blood magic on him. “Jaehwan!”

“I’m sorry,” Jaehwan said, eyes welling up with tears, and without saying anything else he turned and ran up the platform.

Sanghyuk tried to give chase, but— He couldn’t move. His feet were stuck to the ground, Jaehwan’s spell taking holding of him, preventing him from doing anything but call out to him to stop, to come back. Hakyeon and Taekwoon rushed after him, doing what Sanghyuk couldn’t do, but Jaehwan gestured behind himself briefly and both of them went flying almost all the way across the room as if they were no more than ragdolls.

They couldn’t stop him. Sanghyuk couldn’t stop him, he was going to do it and he was unable to do anything but watch—

Jaehwan reached the top of the platform and Sanghyuk could physically feel the hopelessness settling inside of him, inescapable and heavy, and all he could do was shout at Jaehwan to stop what he was doing, to beg him to not go through with it, but Jaehwan wasn’t listening.

He could see the way the jewel had lit up, a strong, blinding white glow emitting from it, how it was being lifted off the platform by magic. The dragon’s eyes were glowing too, that same bright white light, and it was with a feeling of pure helplessness that he watched Jaehwan reach out to take the jewel in his hand.

Before he did, though, Jaehwan turned back to him, tears streaming down his face and that sad smile on his lips, and said, “See? I would have made a terrible advisor. Look at the shitty life decisions I make.”

“Jaehwan—!” Sanghyuk shouted to try to stop him, but before he could finish speaking, Jaehwan closed his fist around the jewel.

There was a blast of energy, an explosion of light that blinded Sanghyuk for a moment, forced him to raise his arms to shield his eyes. Once he lowered them, Jaehwan was gone.

He fell to his knees, the spell that had been holding him in place having disappeared along with Jaehwan, and Sanghyuk wailed, called for Jaehwan, but there was nothing; he was gone. Gone.

The jewel laid shattered on the floor of the platform, the dragon was motionless - dead. The dragon was dead.

And Jaehwan was gone.

Sanghyuk’s ears were ringing, his throat was sore from screaming, and he couldn’t see anything around him, couldn’t feel how the ground was shaking, how the  _ whole chamber _ was shaking.

“Sanghyuk, we have to go!” Hakyeon urged him, grabbed at his arms, but Sanghyuk easily shook him off of him, trying to get to his feet to run up the platform and make sure Jaehwan was truly gone, but Taekwoon joined Hakyeon’s efforts and together they wrangled his struggling self out of the chamber, just as the ceiling began to collapse. There was no more magic to keep that place together.

Hakyeon and Taekwoon dragged him back towards the antechamber, the place also shaking and beginning to fall apart. Sanghyuk still had his eyes trained on the platform, still shouting Jaehwan’s name, blind and deaf to anything else, up until the moment a large piece of the ceiling fell in front of the door, sealing the chamber away.

Sealing Jaehwan away.

“No!” Sanghyuk screamed, voice cracking with the strain. “Let me go! Jaehwan is still there, we have to go back!”

“He’s gone, Sanghyuk!” Hakyeon told him, firm like a parent scolding a child that refused to listen, no matter how he was crying too. “He’s gone, we have to go!”

“No— No, no, no—”

His voice was drowned out by the commotion happening in the antechamber, the sounds of fighting loud and echoing on the walls, the smell of blood and fire thick in the air. He didn’t care. He didn’t care about anything anymore.

“Hongbin! Wonshik!” Hakyeon called out, “The place is falling apart we have to go!”

“Hakyeon!” a female voice shouted. Sanghyuk recognized it - Solji. “This way!”

Sanghyuk felt the direction shift, still too dazed to register anything, glancing behind himself in the hopes he’d see Jaehwan giving chase, trying to catch up to them. There was nothing, only smoke, only rocks falling, gold scattered everywhere, bodies littering the floor - all of which seemed to be cultists and their mercenaries.

No Jaehwan.

“There you are!” Wonshik’s voice reached his ears. “Where’s Jaehwan?”

Sanghyuk’s knees buckled at the sound of Jaehwan’s name and he tried to tug himself free to go back to the main chamber, to look for Jaehwan, but he was too drained to escape Hakyeon’s and Taekwoon’s tight grip on his arms. He didn’t hear Hakyeon answer Wonshik’s question, at least not verbally. It was better. He didn’t want to hear.

“Come on, we have to go,” Wonshik said, more urgent now. “Hongbin was injured.”

“What!?” Hakyeon shrieked and let go of Sanghyuk in favor of rushing to find Hongbin. “Where is he!?”

“He’s fine, Deceit took him back to the ship,” Wonshik replied. “They’re probably there already, it’s been a few minutes.”

“Is anyone else hurt?” Hakyeon asked, just as Taekwoon wrapped an arm around Sanghyuk’s waist to keep him going in the right direction.

“A couple of the girls were wounded in the skirmish, but nothing serious,” Solji was the one who replied. “We got most of the cultists that came down here, the rest ran away when the place started to fall apart.”

“We have to take at least some of them alive for questioning,” Wonshik said. Sanghyuk vaguely had a thought that he was the one who should be giving orders, but— He didn’t care.

“Let’s first get out of here before the entire place crashes down on us, yeah?” Solji said, and then shouted loud enough for all the room to hear. “Everyone run, back to the ship!”

It was a cacophony of shouts and heavy footsteps, a stampede towards the tunnels and the stairs. Sanghyuk wasn’t paying attention, going through the motions as Taekwoon guided him ahead. Every motion was mechanical, neither his mind or his heart in it. He didn’t care. He didn’t care if the place collapsed on top of him, didn’t care to make it out of there alive. Living, dying, it was all the same for him - but Jaehwan— Jaehwan would want him to live. He wouldn’t want him to give up.

That was what kept his legs moving.

Until, that is, he heard a voice that gave him a different purpose.

“You idiots!” he heard it ahead on the tunnel, by the stairs. “Get back here!”

He knew that voice. Knew it too well. He’d heard it daily for years, and the sound of it was enough to ignite a different feeling in him, a feeling that overpowered the despair - rage.

Sanghyuk shook off Taekwoon easily this time, fire renewed, a goal in sight, and rushed ahead through the tunnel. Taekwoon called for him, as did Hakyeon and Wonshik, but Sanghyuk was moving with single-minded purpose. Seungho was  _ right there _ . The man responsible for it all - for the death of his parents, the massacre at Castrum Draconis, the same man who had set them on this path. He was to blame for Jaehwan being gone too, even if not directly. It was all his fault.

He charged at full speed at the man, who was just coming down from the stairs and distracted looking up at his running lackeys. Sanghyuk hated him, he hated him just as much as he loved Jaehwan, the same intensity, burning like a sun inside his chest.

He crashed into the man with full force, slamming his body against him like a battering ram, and Seungho, caught unawares, couldn’t defend himself in time; he was thrown against the nearest wall, the sound of his body hitting the stone loud despite the ruckus around them. Sanghyuk didn’t give him any time to recover and lunged at him again, grabbing at his hair with one hand so he could slam his head against the wall one, two, three times. 

“Sanghyuk, what are you doing!?” Hakyeon asked, chasing him up the tunnel.

Sanghyuk didn’t reply, simply grabbed the hair at the very top of Seungho’s head and forced him to look up, face him, look at him in the eye. Seungho’s expression changed quickly from confusion to recognition to hatred, but it wasn’t near as strong as the hatred Sanghyuk felt towards him.

“Why did you do it?” Sanghyuk asked,  _ demanded _ , slamming Seungho’s head against the wall again. “Why did you do it, after everything my father’s done for you!”

“Your father did  _ nothing _ for me!” Seungho snarled back, a wild look in his eyes that looked even more manic with the blood that was dripping from the wounds on his head. “You just had to survive, hadn’t you? You should have died with them!”

“Maybe if you were any good at your job!” Sanghyuk threw back just as he slammed Seungho’s head against the wall one more time to then shove him to the ground. He saw Seungho start moving his hands in a familiar way, the way Jaehwan moved his hands when he was building power for a blood magic spell, and quickly stepped on his hand to stop him, crushing his fingers with his heel.

“Sanghyuk, we have to go!” Hakyeon said, tugging on Sanghyuk’s sleeve.

“Not before I kill him!”

“Sanghyuk!”

There was a loud, ominous crash from the antechamber, followed by the unmistakable sound of water rushing through the tunnel. No time. Not enough time.

“We have to go!” Hakyeon insisted, and Sanghyuk did the only thing he could think of doing - broke Seungho’s other hand by stomping on it a few times, to make sure he would not use his magic to save himself, before grabbing him by the neck, forcing him onto his feet.

“You wanted to get to this place so bad, now you can rot down here,” Sanghyuk said, venomous, and with all the strength in his body, tossed Seungho into the tunnel. Mere seconds later the water reached him and swallowed him whole.

Sanghyuk couldn’t stay to watch him drown - unfortunately - and quickly followed Hakyeon up the stairs, the waters roaring after them. From then on it was all instinct carrying him forward, the thought of Jaehwan wanting him to survive. He clutched the phylactery he was still wearing around his neck through his shirt as he ran, all he had left of Jaehwan, and forced himself to keep moving, keep climbing those endless stairs no matter how tired his legs were, how he would rather stop and let the ocean take him. 

The water was still faster, reaching their feet, then their ankles and their knees, making it harder for them to move quickly. Taekwoon, further ahead than Sanghyuk and Hakyeon, reached out a hand to help them, grabbing onto Hakyeon’s hand, who, in turn, grabbed onto Sanghyuk’s, one pulling the next one upwards. Wonshik and Solji were far away enough that they were in no danger of being engulfed by the water, which was a small mercy, considering.

Sanghyuk slipped a few times, going completely under just before they reached the exit, but Hakyeon’s grip on his hand was firm and steady, and that was all that kept Sanghyuk from drowning too, sharing Seungho’s fate - that would have been a terrible,  _ terrible _ way to go. Jaehwan’s phylactery had floated up and was almost lost forever during that one time he was completely submerged, but Sanghyuk held onto it like a lifeline. 

They made it out somehow. Out of the stairs, the cave, through the gangplank and back inside the ship. There was a lot happening around him, many voices, Wonshik’s voice ordering that the cultists be taken alive, Solji’s voice ordering her crew to get the ship to depart, Hakyeon loudly asking if Hongbin was alright and Hongbin replying that yes, he was. Sanghyuk cared about nothing. There was only one thing his frail mind could comprehend, all that his eyes could see when he looked down at the phial on his palm.

Jaehwan’s phylactery had stopped glowing.

 

✶

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THE END
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> lol jk there's an epilogue  
> or did you really think i'd let it end like this?? hAH, never.
> 
> the epilogue will be out on friday~♡


	30. For good (Epilogue)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's happening omg
> 
> before you start, there are events referenced here that are canonical to the dragon age franchise, specifically the events of 'dragon age: inquisition'. you still don't need to have played it to understand, but if you haven't i will explain everything on the end notes. this is just a heads up that confusion might happen.
> 
> anyways, enjoy! ♡

**** ✶

 

“Sanghyuk!”

Sanghyuk didn’t have the time to brace himself before Hakyeon slammed into him, locking him into one of his crushing bear hugs. Sanghyuk gasped for air, but didn’t try to fight it - there was no use fighting Hakyeon. He’d learned it a long time ago.

“It’s been ages, you brat!” Hakyeon said once he finally let go, giving him a weak slap on the back of the neck. “Have you been sleeping at all!?”

Sanghyuk gave him a one-shouldered shrug in response, not bothering to confirm or deny it; Hakyeon knew the answer already. Taekwoon, standing behind Hakyeon, merely sighed and shook his head. His hair was shorter than it used to be, fringe only long enough to be eye-level, and Sanghyuk thought the new length suited him. 

Hakyeon’s entire demeanor softened and he took Sanghyuk’s hands in his. “Sanghyuk… You  _ have _ to take better care of yourself.”

“Yeah, I know,” Sanghyuk replied, dismissive, wanting nothing else but to end that conversation. He shifted the subject instead. “Are you still in Rivain?”

“Yes!” Hakyeon replied, beaming at him. “My mother is basically holding us hostage, she’s loving having Taekwoonie around  _ so _ much.”

“She keeps giving me food,” Taekwoon interjected. “I like her a lot. But Fear doesn’t like the beach. It’s a problem.”

Hakyeon snorted, looking over at Taekwoon with adoration in his eyes. Sanghyuk allowed himself to smile; seeing his friends happy like that was a good enough reason to smile. Few things felt smile-worthy those days, ever since— Ever since Jaehwan.

“We should head back home within the week, though,” Hakyeon said, turning back around to face Sanghyuk. “We’ll drop by to visit soon.”

“Mhm, please do. Hongbin misses you a lot, he’s been moping.”

Hakyeon rolled his eyes and let out an affected sigh. “Of course he has, he can’t live without me.”

“How is Wonshik?” Taekwoon asked with clear interest.

“Working too much, as always,” Sanghyuk replied. “He’s an amazing Captain, but he doesn’t know when to stop. It doesn’t help that Hongbin’s paranoid about security, the two of them are driving me crazy.”

“It’s not like you’ve been taking care of yourself enough for them to get a break,” Hakyeon said with his eyes narrowed. “Have you been eating properly? You’re too skinny.”

Sanghyuk rolled his eyes. “I’m fine,  _ mom _ .”

“Hakyeon,” Taekwoon called, just on the edge of stern, and Hakyeon huffed.

“Fine! I’m just trying to look out for Hyukie.”

“He’s a grown man and the King of Nevarra, I’m sure he can handle himself.”

“Thanks, Taekwoon, you’re the only one I can trust in this cruel, cruel world,” Sanghyuk said in a deadpan, getting a tired sigh from Taekwoon in response.

“You’re impossible,” Hakyeon complained, fond, and turned to Taekwoon. “We should get going before my mother barges into our room again.”

Taekwoon’s face became crimson in the blink of an eye, and Sanghyuk had to wonder at the story behind that. Maybe once they returned from Rivain he could ask. Before they left, though, Taekwoon turned to Sanghyuk and said, “I heard his voice again last night.”

The words were like a punch to the stomach.

Hakyeon made an annoyed noise in the back his throat and hissed, “Taekwoonie! We talked about this!”

Taekwoon gave Hakyeon an unimpressed look. “ _ You _ talked about this. I didn’t agree to anything.”

Hakyeon bristled like an angry alley cat. “Taekwoon!”

“We’ll see you soon, Sanghyuk,” Taekwoon said, and snapped his fingers.

Sanghyuk opened his eyes to the ceiling of his room in Castrum Draconis, sunlight spilling through the window and the sounds of birds chirping outside. He sighed; once upon a time, he had really liked spring. Now the season felt as if it was mocking him with its bright colors and vibrant flowers, contrasting with the monotony of his days.

It was late in the morning already, judging from the position of the shadows in his room. He was waking up late again, but at that point, his entire staff was used to it - Hongbin and Wonshik were more than capable of handling any emergencies in his stead if came down to it anyway. He pushed himself up with a grimace, feeling as tired as he’d felt going to sleep, and did the first thing he always did in the morning: fished out the phylactery from inside his shirt, the same hope of finding it glowing red.

And, as it always happened, he found it to be dull and lifeless, just a vial of blood in a golden pendant.

Sanghyuk sighed and dropped the phylactery back into his shirt before sliding off the bed, shuffling to the large armoire nearby to get dressed for the day. Black. He always wore black these days.

Opening the armoire was yet another bitter reminder of Jaehwan’s absence, a reminder he’d set up himself. All that was left of Jaehwan’s clothes, the robes that had survived the destruction caused by the cultists, were all hanging there alongside Sanghyuk’s own clothes. Jaehwan’s personal items, little trinkets he’d managed to salvage, all of them were there too - journals with his notes on magical theory and other researches, his favorite books, the signet ring with the royal crest, gifted to him a long time ago once he became Sanghyuk’s advisor in training. Little pieces of Jaehwan’s life, proof that he’d been there. That he’d existed.

Hongbin always insisted that it wasn’t healthy for Sanghyuk to surround himself with so many mementos of Jaehwan, that doing so would only make it that much harder for him to heal, but Sanghyuk didn’t want to heal. Didn’t want to forget a single thing about Jaehwan, didn’t want to move on.

He was forgetting, though. Sometimes he had trouble remembering the exact shade of Jaehwan’s eyes, or how his laughter sounded like. The memories were growing dim in his mind, and it had only been two years since Jaehwan— Since he was gone.

But he still had hope that maybe— 

He pushed those thoughts aside and chose something simple to wear. He had to keep his mind occupied, start his day, instead of staring at Jaehwan’s old clothes that didn’t even smell like him anymore and making wishes to the heavens.

His routine was rather boring. Being king was boring in general - he had no idea why the position was so coveted, nothing interesting ever happened. All he did all day was listen to nobles complaining about useless things, then read over dozens of letters that were also mostly from nobles complaining about useless things, and then pour over Wonshik’s and Hongbin’s reports related to the Castrum’s administration and any other issue they deemed important or urgent enough to require the King’s approval. It was tedious, but at least it kept him busy.

He’d barely stepped into the main hall of the palace when Hongbin approached him, a piece of parchment in his hand. “Ah, there you are. The Inquisition sent word.”

“Ah, they did, huh?” Sanghyuk responded with no enthusiasm and not bothering to hide the lack of interest. Hongbin gave him a look but made no comment.

“They have received the supplies and the men we sent to join their efforts and in return, their spymaster offered us a list of Somnavaris that managed to escape to southern Thedas,” Hongbin said, giving the parchment to Sanghyuk. “With your permission, I’ll start my own investigation into these people, make sure the information is solid.”

“I see. Permission granted,” Sanghyuk easily said, just skimming his eyes over the names. He recognized a couple of them. Old nobility, because  _ of course _ . “The Inquisition’s spymaster is certainly a very capable woman.”

Hongbin hummed in agreement, “She is.” He then grinned and said, “I’m better, though.”

Sanghyuk scoffed, but didn’t object; Hongbin was a truly great spymaster. Giving him that position was likely the best decision he’d made as King - that and naming Wonshik Captain of the Royal Guard.

As if the thought had summoned him, Wonshik came marching towards them with his own piece of parchment. Sanghyuk wasn’t even surprised - those two were the champions at writing reports.

“Good morning, Your Majesty, almost thought you’d sleep in again today,” Wonshik teased with a smile. “I’ve just finished inspecting the security around the castle, here’s my report.”

Sanghyuk wordlessly accepted the report as Hongbin spoke, “Speaking of reports, I’ve received an update regarding the issue with those rifts near Cumberland.”

“Ugh, are those still there?” Wonshik asked Hongbin with a frown and a pout.

“Yes, bunny, they are and they are still shitting demons everywhere.”

Wonshik flushed upon hearing the nickname but made no comment on it, “I guess I’ll send some more men there to keep the people safe until the Inquisition can come over and do their thing.”

“I’ll send them a message right away,” Hongbin answered, a little smile on his lips as he looked at Wonshik.

“Get a room,” Sanghyuk grumbled, unable to contain himself. Wonshik blushed harder; Hongbin only snickered. 

Sanghyuk would never admit to it out loud, but Hongbin and Wonshik sort of pissed him off - two years later, working together and living in very close proximity in Castrum Draconis, and they were _ still _ not back together when it was very obvious they wanted to be. It made Sanghyuk feel bitter; they had the chance to be happy with each other, and they were wasting precious time. Sanghyuk didn’t have that anymore, and selfish as it was, he couldn’t help feeling like that. Sanghyuk had lost the one he loved the most, the one he loved above all else, and now he was stuck having to watch as Hongbin and Wonshik danced around each other like the pair of dumbasses they were, squandering something Sanghyuk would give anything to have.

On the other hand, though, he understood - Wonshik was still scared. Sanghyuk would be too in his place, but… It’s been two years already. Hongbin had settled in quite nicely in his position as spymaster and showed no signs that he wanted to be anywhere other than right there. Wonshik could see that too, but fear and trust were strange emotions to deal with.

It still pissed him off, though.

“Do I have anything important to do today?” Sanghyuk asked, beginning to walk once more and being promptly followed by Hongbin and Wonshik.

“You could start by having breakfast for a change,” Wonshik suggested, both teasing and accusing.

Sanghyuk rolled his eyes. “I’ll take that as a ‘no’.”

“It’s the most important meal of the day,” Hongbin chirped. “But no, there is nothing on your schedule. Some law proposals for you to look over and sentencing approval of some prisoners, but that’s it.”

“Hm, I do like sentencing,” Sanghyuk mused, then shot Hongbin a suspicious look. “You cleared my schedule of petitioners again, didn’t you?”

Hongbin gave him one of his ‘innocent’ dimpled grins. “Guilty as charged.”

“We just thought you could use a break from the evil nobles,” Wonshik joined in. “And it’s a nice day outside, maybe you can take a walk in the gardens or something. You’ve been cooped up in here too much.”

“Yeah, I don’t know,” Sanghyuk grimaced as he spoke. “The giant green butthole in the sky irks me out.”

Wonshik sighed and shook his head. “I tried! Bean, you’re up.”

Hongbin pinched Wonshik’s cheek gently in retribution. “Now he’s onto us, you big doofus.”

“Shock and surprise, you got me!” Sanghyuk deadpanned, and as if they had planned it ahead, both Hongbin and Wonshik wrapped him in their arms in a double hug. “What the—”

“Shh, don’t struggle, just accept it,” Wonshik murmured, head resting on his left shoulder.

“We were just hoping to cheer you up a little,” Hongbin said, his own head on Sanghyuk’s right shoulder.

“Or at least get you to eat a full meal, or breathe some fresh air,” Wonshik added.

Sanghyuk exhaled slowly, unable to help a fond smile. “I appreciate what you’re trying to do, but I’m fine. You don’t have to worry.”

“You’re not fine,” Hongbin, always the blunt one, said. “Just because you’re functioning doesn’t mean you’re alright. Sure, you get out of bed every day and attend to your duties like the good King you are, but you— You’re not trying to push through the grief. And we’re worried.”

Sanghyuk pursed his lips and didn’t answer. He knew Hongbin was right - Hongbin often was right, which was very annoying - but at the same time he didn’t have it in him to try to change his behavior. He didn’t have a reason to smile or to want to enjoy food or sunshine. Doing the bare minimum was so difficult already. Just getting up in the morning felt like too much some days. He understood where his friends were coming from and he agreed with them, he just— He wasn’t strong enough to do it. He didn’t feel strong enough.

“Look,” he finally said after a few seconds, slowly, choosing his words, “I am very thankful that you’re trying to help, and I agree that I haven’t been—  _ Myself _ for a long time. But I truly am alright, as much as I can possibly be. It’s just taking a while for me to get myself back together.”

Hongbin stared at him for a while, eyes narrowed suspiciously, until he sighed and said, “You’re so full shit your eyes brown.”

Wonshik snorted, equally unconvinced with Sanghyuk’s speech, but more inclined to accept it as defeat. “That’s one way to put it. Just make sure to eat, hm? I’ll get the cook to make you something nice.”

“I’ll lick the plate and everything,” Sanghyuk tried to sound chipper, but that likely fell flat - much like anything else. “I’ll pass on the fresh air for today, though.”

“At least you’re eating, that’s a start,” Hongbin gave him a last squeeze before stepping away from him, releasing him from the hug. “You’ll be at the library?”

Sanghyuk made a face at the question. The library was Junghwan’s and Heeyeon’s domain, and they… They liked to talk. A lot. As expected of Jaehwan’s best friends, sure, but that particular day Sanghyuk didn’t feel like listening to their banter. “Uhm… I don’t think so. I’ll keep to the study today.”

“Told you he’d go there,” Hongbin singsonged to Wonshik. Damn those two, still making bets at his expense. “I left all the documents you need to read over at the desk.”

“I’ll send someone over with your food soon,” Wonshik gave him a few awkward pats on the back as he talked.

“Wonshik… You’re Captain of the Royal Guard, it’s not part of your duties to run around fetching servants to bring me food,” Sanghyuk said to him, just short of stern.

“I’m your friend first.”

Well. That was enough to shut him up.

“We’ll let you return to your cave of eternal anguish,” Hongbin said, and Andraste bless his heart. “Come on, bunny.”

Hongbin began walking away, but Wonshik only followed after saying, “Call us if you need anything.”

“Will do,” Sanghyuk watched them go for a moment, hearing Wonshik saying loud and clear ‘ _ next time let’s go with the puppy plan’ _ , before he too turned on his heels and made his way towards the study.

Despite it all, Sanghyuk was lucky. He knew he was lucky. He had people who loved and cared about him, people who wanted him to be happy and well. He wished he had it in him to get better, to find a way to pull through that haze of grief he’d cocooned himself in, for their sake.

He was distracted as he walked to his study when a red glint caught his attention. Sanghyuk stopped on his tracks and looked down. Was that—?

He quickly pulled out the phylactery from inside his shirt, heart hammering with hope. He definitely saw something bright and red, it had to be—

All hope left him in a matter of seconds. The phylactery was still not glowing, looking every bit the useless item it truly was. Of course it hadn’t been glowing. Maybe he was finally going mad with grief. He would go down in history as the Nevarra’s Most Depressed King, so depressed he was seeing things that weren’t there through the blackened lens of mourning.

He tried to shake off the disappointment through the day, burying himself in work as he usually did to pass his time and keep his mind off the soul-crushing sadness he was constantly under. Jaehwan not being there— His absence was too heavy, too obvious. Jaehwan had always been so bright and charismatic, the center of attention even when he wasn’t trying to be, and to go from that to this emptiness… There was no ignoring. He could distract himself from it for a time, but it would always creep up on him, be it when he saw something funny he would like to tell Jaehwan, or when he crawled into his bed at night and turned to face the empty side where Jaehwan should be. 

Little things. Huge things.

True to his word, Wonshik sent a servant with a tray of food for him not long after he’d began sifting through the many documents on the desk, and as promised, Sanghyuk ate everything; he didn’t feel hungry, didn’t particularly want to eat all that food, but he did, just to ease their friends’ minds.

And then it was back to work.

Reading over all those reports and letters and proposals wasn’t too bad. Dealing with people face to face was far more draining, but reading? Reading was easy. Reading was nice, even if the contents of most of those documents were tedious. It was droning and familiar, and it kept his mind off things.

Maybe he should really listen to Hongbin and Wonshik and Hakyeon. The more he thought about the life he’d been living, the more pathetic it seemed to him.

He’d been working for a few hours. It was late afternoon, the sun was high in the sky and the Castrum was mostly quiet. It usually was - Sanghyuk had fewer people on his staff than his parents used to have, didn’t have as many guests, or hosted as many soirées, preferring to keep only the bare minimum required to keep that place running smooth. The staff he did have were all carefully selected and had their backgrounds thoroughly checked by Hongbin, to make sure there were no cultists in disguise amongst them, and all of them were very good at their jobs - Hongbin was far too demanding to give his seal of approval to anyone less than perfect.

He was signing a document regarding the sentencing of a human man who caused trouble in the Elven Alienage - he did love punishing that special brand of jackass - when he saw it again. That flash of red light.

Sanghyuk made to reach inside his shirt again to check but stopped himself. He had to stop hoping, had to let go. It wasn’t healthy to expect Jaehwan to be back, he was  _ gone _ —

The red light became brighter.

This time he was definitely not imagining it.

Sanghyuk got up so fast he knocked his chair to the ground, sheets of paper flying everywhere in his haste to move. He took the phylactery from his shirt, and it was not a trick of his mind - it was glowing, bright, so bright, bright like it used to glow when Jaehwan was around.

He mindlessly began to move, rushing out of the study and down the long hall, stomping his way through the palace. His eyes would barely leave the phylactery, paying attention to the light of the vial, where it seemed to be dimmer and where it became brighter, chasing down the reason for that phylactery to be glowing. There was only one possible reason, but hoping was painful after two entire years of longing.

And yet—

He ran down the stairs, almost tripping in his haste, and down more corridors, through more doors, the phylactery steadily glowing brighter the nearer he got to the exit that led to the gardens. Sanghyuk made his way directly there, out of the Castrum and into the beautiful landscape of the Royal Gardens, up the white cobblestone path towards a large, vibrant red maple tree that stood at the very back of the field. He stopped there, the phylactery blinding red on his palm, his breathing ragged and his heart pounding as he looked around.

There was a bench there, where he’d expected Jaehwan to be waiting for him. Jaehwan had always loved that place, would often sit there and read for hours, so he should be there, he should— 

“I’ve heard you have an opening for an Arcane Advisor.”

Sanghyuk froze for a split second, shock zapping through him, before he turned around towards the tree. That voice, his voice, unmistakably his—

Leaning against the trunk of the maple tree as if he’d been hiding behind it and just stepped around it to make his entrance, was Jaehwan. Grinning that lopsided grin of his, looking  _ exactly _ the way he looked when he disappeared in that flash of light. The same hair length, the same clothes - although those looked dirty, torn in places, as if Jaehwan had been through less than appropriate conditions.

Sanghyuk just stood there, wide-eyed, jaw hanging open.

Jaehwan cocked his head to the side and asked, “What? Something on my face?”

Yes, that was definitely him.

Sanghyuk blinked himself out of his stupor and rushed forward, lifting Jaehwan from the ground momentarily with the hug he immediately gave him, arms wound tight around his waist. Jaehwan laughed - it felt like his laughter was all Sanghyuk needed to be able to breathe easy again.

“You’re here,” Sanghyuk muttered against Jaehwan’s shoulder, voice thick with emotion. “You’re really here.”

“I told you to trust me, didn’t I?” Jaehwan whispered in response, breath warm against Sanghyuk’s cheek.

The dam broke before Sanghyuk could even process it, tears running down his face as he held Jaehwan tight, too scared he would be gone if he let him go. He could feel his nimble fingers combing through his hair, trying to soothe him, and it felt like he was dreaming. It had to be a dream, it couldn’t—

He pulled back from the hug so he could see Jaehwan’s face, cup his cheeks with both hands, take in the shape of his eyes, his lips, his nose, his ears that were just the tiny bit pointier than that of a human. It was him. It was his Jaehwan.

He still couldn’t believe it.

“Are you really back?” Sanghyuk asked in a shaky whisper and Jaehwan smiled up at him.

“Yes,” he said, and Sanghyuk, staring deep into his eyes, could see the exact moment Jaehwan’s eyes flashed quickly from blue-grey to golden, his pupils gone from round to vertical slits before settling back on their usual color and shape. “We are back for good.”

 

✶

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (the event referenced in this chapter is the breach, a main plot point of da:i. the breach is a tear in the veil through which demons can pass through, leaving the fade and entering the waking world. it can cause rifts, which are smaller tears in the veil, but the breach itself it's a, uh... it's a giant green butthole in the sky that shits demons. it's what it is.)
> 
> it's over! oh wow i can't believe this, ok
> 
> forsaken has been a labor (and i mean Labor) of love for over a year for me, and it feels amazing to have finally reached the end. it's the first work i've shared in over a decade and i'm still floored by the amount of love it got. like. i wasn't expecting anyone to read it, and look at this, about 7,5k hits at the moment i'm writing this. amazing.
> 
> thank you so much to everyone who left kudos and comments, everyone who messaged me about the story, every fanart, every meme. thank you even if you just quietly read it without making yourself known, just the fact that you decided to give my story a chance means the world to me.♡♡♡
> 
> i do plan on writing more for this universe, i have a few extras planned, so you can subscribe to the series to be notified when i do, or you can check my twitter for updates! i have other projects that i'm excited to start working on as well, and if they get even half the love forsaken's received i'll consider it a success because !!!!!!!!!!! for my first fanfic in years to get this much attention, i'm honestly floored, like. wow.
> 
> i'll keep the comments moderated for a while, a couple months maybe, and i can't reply to them without making them public first (thanks ao3), but just know i've read them all and i'm thankful for all the kind words ♡ 
> 
> i hope you liked how the story ended, i know i can't please everyone but i'm personally satisfied with it, so!! i hope you guys liked it, and i'll see you around i guess ♡

**Author's Note:**

> [Twitter](https://twitter.com/ghostlike91) | [Tumblr](https://ghostlike91.tumblr.com/) | [Curious Cat](https://curiouscat.me/ghostlike) | [Lore Guide](https://ghostlike91.tumblr.com/forsakenguide)+[Elvish Translations](https://docs.google.com/document/d/119t8GjGOG74G5ftZZ9z4dwDGxmYvyopvRh67FCmX_pU/edit?usp=sharing)


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